PDA

View Full Version : That Night Three Years Before (A Golden Sun Fanfiction)



Saya
1st February 2006, 1:01 AM
Alright, this is a Golden Sun fanfiction I've been working on for a while. It's basically reciting the events of that night three years before when Felix and co. disappeared in great depth. I've tried to make this as acurate as possible and added a few new scenes (okay so maybe a lot) to liven up the story. Well, I don't know if anyone's interested in Golden Sun here beside me, but meh. I'm posting it anyway. Also, it'll be four parts long. I just completed Part III today, so I'm almost there. I like writing fanfiction this length 'cause I know I can actually finish them. XD


That Night Three Years Before
A Golden Sun Fanfiction by Saya

That night three years before…it was a night of pain, a night of terrible hurt, of destroyed lives and shattered spirits. It was a night when all hell broke loose and despair reared its ugly head. It seemed like a tragedy, a catastrophe, an innocence stealer at the time, but that miserable night birthed new desires, renewed spirits, flames of passion that might never have been otherwise, but above it all that night produced true heroes. That night three years before was the beginning of it all, the beginning of the quest of all quests, the valiant journey to save all Weyard from certain destruction, and to usher in the rising of the Golden Sun.


Part I – Predictions
Jenna dangled her legs over the crystalline waters running beneath the suspended porch of her home in Vale, Angara, and lazily turned the page of her book. She blinked as the late afternoon sun glared down on the crisp whiteness of the page and into her unprotected eyes. Free time to sit and relax had been scarce of late so Jenna was planning to use the next hour until the moon rose to read in peaceful enjoyment. The sun fell warmly on her back, and the river running swiftly two feet beneath her made for a calming background noise to soothe her greatly over worked senses.

Someone gave a quick tug on her ear. She jumped and bit back a startled shriek before turning to glare at her brother.

“What are you doing?” Felix asked nonchalantly, dropping down cross-legged beside his younger sister. His shaggy mass of chestnut brown hair fluttered slightly in the soft breeze blowing across the river, and a mischievous glint shone radiantly in his brown eyes.

Jenna rolled her own hazel eyes. Felix was fifteen, only a year older than she, but he could be a real pain at times. “I was reading,” She snapped, “until someone so rudely interrupted me!”

Felix grinned that impish smile of his and crossed his eyes at her.

Jenna sighed, annoyed. “You should really stop doing that you know,” She said, poking him hard in the chest, “It’s extremely immature; a child’s trick at best.”

Now it was Felix’s turn to roll his eyes, but that mischievous glint was still there, even with that silly smile erased from his features, “You know I don’t do it to anyone else; only to you, because it bugs you.”

Riveting her eyes back to her neglected book, Jenna shrugged. She did know. It was Felix’s special ‘treatment’ for her. She’d told herself time and time again to ignore her brother when he crossed his eyes at her like that, but she never could. It really, really bugged her! Abruptly, the wind changed direction, whipping harshly, icily, against her skin, and blowing roughly through her neat reddish-brown ponytail. Felix’s eyes were raised to the sky a worried frown suddenly creasing the corners of his mouth.

“A storm,” He muttered, glancing quickly from the sky to the river beneath them, “and it looks like it’s coming up pretty fast.”

Jenna followed her brother’s gaze upward. The sky to the north was rapidly filling up with ominous purple-black clouds directly above Mt. Aleph and Sol Sanctum, the sanctum the people of Vale were sworn to protect. “Yeah, it looks pretty big too,” She added as a blinding flash of lighting lit up the rapidly darkening sky.

“There’s something wrong with it Jenna,” Felix’s quiet concern was almost completely drowned out by the following crash of thunder. He shook his head as if confused, “It seems unnatural, psynergy induced maybe, but definitely not natural.”

Jenna stared at her brother curiously, “How would you know that? It looks like a completely normal storm to me, unusually large yes, but altogether normal.”

Felix kept right on shaking his head, his brown eyes glued intently on the peak of Mt. Aleph which was now hidden in a veil of darkening storm clouds. “Well there’s something different about this one Jenna, I just know it. Look where the storm is. It’s directly above Mt. Aleph. I’ve never seen a storm this big come from the north over the mountains; never. Storms like this one always come from the south,” Felix closed his eyes, “and there’s something strange in the earth; I can feel psynergy, a lot of it. Something’s happening on Mt. Aleph, in the Sanctum.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Felix,” Jenna replied, shaking her head, “All I know is that the storm is coming closer by the second, and if we don’t get inside soon we’re going to get wet.”

“The Elder’s must be warned,” Felix said, getting to his feet abruptly, a determined, stubborn look cementing in his eyes. The first icy drops of cold rain splattered down onto the deck as Jenna jumped up hurriedly, snapping her book shut. The wintry blasts of wind buffeted them as they stood over the river, the coldness sheering right through Jenna’s light summery garb. She shivered.

“Felix!” Jenna shouted to be heard over the suddenly galeing wind, “Don’t you dare go out there in this weather!” Fire. She needed fire. Fire always helped to warm her, and it strengthened her psynergy, just as earth did Felix’s, “Come inside where it’s warm, out of the wet!”

“No,” Her brother answered simply, turning away. The rain was falling faster now, and Felix’s thick hair was already slick and dripping with water, “The Elder’s must be warned Jenna! Something is wrong on Mt. Aleph! I must go, now.”

Jenna sighed and glared at her brother. She was wet and cold, her teeth chattering at each new blast of wind, “Felix, its suicide to go out in this weather! You’ll just get yourself kill – hey! Come back here!” She shouted, angry and annoyed at her brother’s stubbornness as she watched him lope away from the house and the churning river of tree trunks, sticks, and general debris that roared beneath her now, “You’re stubborn Felix,” She muttered to the darkness, “Bloody, bloody stubborn.”

* * *
Felix was satisfied. He had succeeded in warning the Elder’s of the threat he felt from the growing storm on Mt. Aleph, and they had finally sent someone to investigate his claims. It had taken him more than fifteen precious minutes to convince them that something was wrong, but they had eventually caved in under his stubborn insistence albeit reluctantly.

It was still raining violently when he stepped outside, water cascading down in torrential sheets, limiting his vision to less that ten feet, and water was rising swiftly in the muddy torrent of a river smashing its deadly way through the town, almost overflowing its high banks. Lightening streaked across the dark sky behind him, illuminating the wet earth slick with mud for a split second before plunging Vale back into darkness. Thunder cracked as Felix stumbled, the raging wind causing him to lose his balance. Freezing rain pounded at him from all sides, soaking determinedly into his hair, his soft leather boots, and clothing, as he hurriedly pulled himself back onto his feet, brushing the worst of the mud off with his hands.

“Home,” He muttered under his breath as he picked his left foot up, placing it firmly in the mud before him, “I’ll be home soon; I just have to keep going.” He knew he’d been gone for a while, and his parents were undoubtedly worried sick about him, Jenna too. A thunderstorm, especially one of this ferocity, was no place to be wandering about in, even within the safety of his own village.

He cursed as his foot slipped again on the mud. This time he caught himself before he could fall flat on his face as before. His mother was going to kill him for the mud undoubtedly covering his entire body, and Jenna for leaving when she did not want him to. His father would too for that matter, for worrying them all. Felix shivered, quickening his step as he crossed the village. Not much further now, he told himself stubbornly, just keep on moving, you’re almost home.

Dimly he could make out the welcoming yellow lantern light flooding from the windows of his house up ahead, and the terrible brownish river of ice, and tree trunks, sticks, and other debris it had gathered as it tore through the town of Vale to his left. The river roared and gurgled as it raced through the valley. Felix shuddered to think what would happen if anyone fell in there right now.

Winds blasted him from the right; cursing once more he stumbled to the left, and his foot slipped. Suddenly, everything was a whirling tornado of confusion and icy water. He felt himself being sucked under by the river, spinning and tumbling at a break neck speed through the terrible waters. He couldn’t breathe, and desperately he flapped his arms, trying to reach the surface. Where was the surface! He panicked, flailing wildly in the water. He couldn’t see anything, hear anything; he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think! He had to breathe, had to fill his burning lungs with something! Suddenly, his head broke the surface and he was sucking in huge gasps of wonderful, life-giving air, he didn’t care that half of it was water, before the river claimed him once more.

Saffire Persian
1st February 2006, 5:16 AM
You would have to write a LOT of content indeed if this story is all taking place on that one night. So.. that brings me to my question, is it just 'that night' or does it it keep going from some time afterwards?

Anyways, being a major Golden Sun fan, I was immediately drawn to this story. And I think, for the first chapter, you're doing an awesome job of it. Felix and Jenna seem to be in character, and Felix is quite stubborn indeed.

The only problems I spotted were grammatical - such as you always need to place a comma before a name when a character is addressing another character. Like here:


“There’s something wrong with it Jenna,

It should be ", Jenna."

Of course, that's just me being nit-picky.

Saya
2nd February 2006, 11:14 PM
*nods* Thanks for reviewing Saffire Persian! I really appreciate it! I posted this on FF.net a while ago and I've gotten only three replies. I'm really craving for some good crit. right now, so your review was much appreciated.


So.. that brings me to my question, is it just 'that night' or does it it keep going from some time afterwards?
It's mostly just that night. Part IV deals with a couple of the character's feelings afterward, but it doesn't go much past 'that night'. I really only wanted to retell 'that night' and not much more.


Anyways, being a major Golden Sun fan, I was immediately drawn to this story. And I think, for the first chapter, you're doing an awesome job of it. Felix and Jenna seem to be in character, and Felix is quite stubborn indeed.
lol Thanks! Felix has taken the part of the 'teasing, stubborn brother' so far, and I liked him in that role. Afterall, we don't much see his personality in the games as we see Jenna's and all the rest. I've also tried really hard to make this as accurate as I can, which is pretty acurate considering I've played the game four times through. XD I've been a major Golden Sun fan for...oh, about a year now ever since I recieved TLA during Christmas 2004. I still love it, though I've been obsessed with my Fire Emblem game I got for Christmas this year lately. Definately not as fun as GS though. It never really crossed my mind to write something Golden Sun until two months ago, when I became inspired for this. Anyway...

Thank you for pointing out the comma thing. I did not know that.

Well, thanks for reviewing and I hope you continue reading! ^_^

~Saya~