PDA

View Full Version : Eyes of the Python [PREVIEW]



Ryano Ra
5th February 2006, 3:18 PM
^^ I thank Dark Amethyst for helping me with the title of this fanfiction.

First and foremost, this is a whole new Galabonain tale that is vastly different from my current Galabonian Trilogy involving the Gods of the End, Dragonriders, a deadly war, and the Slinx Insanity Virus. This is something I've been thinking about doing for quite some time now, so while I take a break from writing the ending chapters of Rhapsody, I'll be writing a new Action/Adventure/Fantasy fanfiction that I'm sure will blow some minds. So, I must stress that this'll be coming later in the year, most likely during the summer, for I have only started writing the first chapter of it (Prologue's already been written three weeks ago)

Eyes of the Python revolves around the Jade Clovers, the deadliest assassin organization that lies within Galabonia. They are a sheer force to be reckoned with, being able to slaughter anyone and anything that crosses their paths. They all have a tattoo of a green clover on their stomach, though their organization is rather secret to the world. They have never been discovered for hundreds of years, and the Jade Clovers have killed so many people during their missions and assessments. However, people are starting to realize that the ones killing the greatest of ranks in Galabonia are displaying a green clover tattoo on their stomach.

The main character of this story is Paris Shavada. Paris Shavada owns the Jungle Crew, which is her team of three Pokemon that she all captured in the jungle and uses to help assassinate her victims in temperate jungles, tropical forests, rainforests, ectera (ect). Those Pokemon are Sceptile, Nidoqueen, and Kabutops. She is one of two Jade Clover Executives of the entire organization, having to deal with rather difficult tasks. However, she enjoys the excitement and anticipation, so she isn't bothered. Paris is a very seductive woman (in a malicious way) that uses her malevolent traits to lure in the male victims, leading to their deaths seconds later.

Again, this takes place way in the future, so the world has been at its pinnacle of achievement and development. Fossilized Pokemon roam the land once more, and the populations are largely increased across the world. So, expect fantasy to be in this story. It wouldn't have the same effect if it was not categorized as a tantalizing tale. Also, there will be exploding of heads, bloody confrontations, violence elements to their best, and all kinds of exotic weapons with a fantasy, ethereal touch. Flaming-bullet guns, eye-shaped axes, things of that nature. Though, this is definitely action, for there will be fights (man versus man) and countless of Pokemon battles.

I don't rate the story as one until I finish it, but if there are elements in the chapter that seemed rather unfitting, there will be warnings. There will be cursing of the nature, though it won't be as heavy and loud-spoken and populated. Now, as for the plot, it isn't as extensive as the trilogy, so I can definitely wrap it up in a sum of thirty-five chapters, if not a bit more. Paris Shavada has been asked to kill one of Galabonia's kings, King Marshlin, so this'll be an adventure that'll be worth writing about.

I present to you a preview from the first chapter of Eyes of the Python.


CHAPTER ONE
THE SHINING WONDERLANDThunderclaps exploded and rumbled across the darkened heavens, snapping and clapping as they hungrily devoured the gentle breezes of the shivering wind. Malicious miasmas blanketed the deepened skyline of black, dark-cobalt, and slate gray, radiant and illuminated in their malevolent infinity. Lit up in a flickering, cold blaze of white fire, the full moon cradled itself high within the dying sky above.

Motionless golden stars were scattered across the blackened field of sanctity, while the verdant blades of grass below swayed together and moved in harmony to the jungle’s symphony. The atmospheric boundaries between souls and life were shielded by dusk, and would wait patiently for the horizon to reflect and mirror their true passion. The lively concerto suddenly subsided, leaving everything to be silenced and slumbering under moonlight.

A sweetened, seductive voice spoke out, breaking all tranquility and shattering the road to a peaceful night. It echoed through the air as bullets of shining blue rain started to fall down upon the tropical forest. The emerging tempest coincided beautifully with the malignant tone of the words, filling in the hallow gaps and allowing the clarity to bloom.

The target is starting to flee. Move ahead with thunderous speed.

As the sudden command was swallowed by the sound of the downpour, loud thumps of foot against earth started to join the sonata. A sudden silhouette accelerated forward, speeding under the shades of the wild trees. It sped with sheer grace, glowing emerald as it launched an arm ahead and blasted through the thickness of the distance. Gleaming eyes were focused forward, glinting and vigilant as features blessed its appearance.

The Sceptile was indeed the enigma of adventures, quickening her pace before coming to a complete halt. She was growing irate and hungry, for her quarry had taken a huge step ahead of her once amazing, life-threatening pursuit. Contemplating under darkness, she slashed the wind with her right claw and released the only sound that the world would recognize as wrath.

She roared.

It was feral, vicious shriek that rolled and thundered from east to west, north to south. It carried on for what seemed with a dear eternity as the Sceptile listened to the rustles coming from the berry bushes to her left.

The target is escaping. Listen carefully to the heartbeats and the breathing.

Letting luminescent glows cast before her, the grass beast nodded silently and jumped into the high atmosphere. She allowed the chilled zephyrs to twist and twirl around her figure, carrying her into the heart of the jungle. Sceptile imperfectly landed on one of the tree’s thick branches, leaping from one to the next. She could sense that her prey was getting more and more exhausted as the seconds washed away forever.

Sceptile could be heard from miles away, her figure shifting through the sleeping leaves and crackling undergrowth. Releasing one last shrilly cry, she plummeted to ground like an emerald bullet, succeeding in her mission to find the monster that had needed to dance in his death. With the emerald pasture stretching for miles and miles, the open grassland only held two presences within its divine vicinity – the Sceptile and the wild Umbreon.

Vision met vision, heartbeats banged in their bodies like loud drums, and their thoughts were spotlighted on each other. The wild Umbreon was a skilled creature of blackness, melting into its affinity and reappearing at any given time selected. However, the Sceptile only needed to find him, for her trainer was only seconds away from continuing the fascinating assassination. Sceptile leapt into the air, shrieking and roaring as she started glowing and absorbing the moon’s light.

Her eyes were wide open and crazed as a slim, dark figure spontaneously crossed overhead, elegant and mysterious. It all seemed like a medieval fantasy, only with reality blended in to perfect the acts and make them seemed realistic. The new otherworldly essence drifted in, allowing the white radiance to bless the woman and reveal her hiding details.

Paris had arrived.

Paris Shavada had barely saw the sunrise to adulthood, but it was a successful view that allowed her to leave the childhood days behind in her reminiscences. Landing on the grassy surface with a white, steel sheath resting behind her back, she stood up and faced the wild malicious fiend, smirking and grumbling. She moved forward, allowing her emerald eyes to be revealed once swinging strands of black and dark-purple hair toward her backside. Her slender, considerably tall figure stood still and triumphantly as her Sceptile plunged to the verdant terrain that slept before her.

Ace Kenshader
5th February 2006, 7:01 PM
I read you're preview, and...... This story is awesome, Serpent Syra. Can't wait for it to come out.

PDL
5th February 2006, 7:36 PM
personally, I dislike the title "Eyes of the Python" because it makes me think of Monty Python's Flying Circus... and I don't think you're going for a humour fic...

Evanarios
5th February 2006, 7:44 PM
Looks cool to me, I especially like your banned lol... Anyway good story, I'll be reading this.

Good ay!

~Evanarios

Ace Kenshader
5th February 2006, 7:44 PM
personally, I dislike the title "Eyes of the Python" because it makes me think of Monty Python's Flying Circus... and I don't think you're going for a humour fic...

^^well everybody has their own opinions on what the title should be.

Ryano Ra
5th February 2006, 8:18 PM
personally, I dislike the title "Eyes of the Python" because it makes me think of Monty Python's Flying Circus... and I don't think you're going for a humour fic...That's understandable, though, I like the title and it fits the story quite well, in my opinion. ^^ But I take all kind of opinions, so thank you for letting me know how you feel.

And thank you everybody that has reviewed and enjoyed the excerpt - Dark Amethyst and Evanarios. ^^ I would say more, but I have limited time on the computer at this time, so thanks again!

Sike Saner
5th February 2006, 9:19 PM
Every time I find that you've posted some work, I just know from the moment I see it that somewhere over the course of the piece, you will say something I like. And guess what - like every instance before this, you delivered the goods:


Motionless golden stars were scattered across the blackened field of sanctity, while the verdant blades of grass below swayed together and moved in harmony to the jungle’s symphony. The atmospheric boundaries between souls and life were shielded by dusk, and would wait patiently for the horizon to reflect and mirror their true passion. The lively concerto suddenly subsided, leaving everything to be silenced and slumbering under moonlight.

Damn, but I love that paragraph... ^____^

That's a nice scene you portrayed there, especially where that Sceptile is concerned; that is just a severely cool Pokémon. That's really a pretty badass team there, really - Sceptile being all quick and agile, Nidoqueen being very strong and tough, and Kabutops just slashing the hell out of everything with those claws. Fweeness. ^^

Looks promising, looks mighty nice. I'll be looking out for this one. ^^

Kiyohime
5th February 2006, 9:28 PM
Dammit, why can't you give me some of your freakishly godlike ability to write so fast without losing any quality of your style? ;_; I write at the rate of a freaking' turtle because I'm an obsessive-complusive editor.

Beautiful writing, and the preview really suits the banner (lovely banner, too.)

I especially loved this part:


Vision met vision, heartbeats banged in their bodies like loud drums, and their thoughts were spotlighted on each other. The wild Umbreon was a skilled creature of blackness, melting into its affinity and reappearing at any given time selected. However, the Sceptile only needed to find him, for her trainer was only seconds away from continuing the fascinating assassination. Sceptile leapt into the air, shrieking and roaring as she started glowing and absorbing the moon’s light.

That image is now burned into my mind. :P

Ryano Ra
6th February 2006, 2:33 AM
Thank you for the reviews, Scrap and Sike. *gives Metagross clone and Glalie clone* ^^

Sike, I'm very glad to hear that you really enjoy my scenery. That part was one of my favorites, especially the ending of the first sentence, the field of sanctity. I would have never thought about referring to the sky as that, but that was something I found unique and althogether beautiful. Paris's Jungle Crew will be one of the main focuses character-wise, for they all possess dark personalities like her.

Scrap, I wish I could gain that fantastical imagery and pure action you have in your fanfictions, for this will technically be my first time writing so many action scenes and pokemon battles after Bloodstained Swords. 8D And I like that quoted portion, as well, and I thought it would be nice to describe a Sceptile using Solarbeam during the night. Catching the moonlight rays.

Kiyohime
6th February 2006, 2:40 AM
Then wouldn't it become a Lunarbeam? XD But it works, since the moon's light is actually reflected from the sun's rays. :P

Ryano Ra
6th February 2006, 2:49 AM
A Lunarbeam? XD I bet that'd be so pretty, being shot with cold moonlight that's all radiant and gleamy and sparkly. 8D I should try that sometime within this fanfiction, so thanks for giving me an idea, Scrap. ^^

I'm happy to see how much attention this future fanfiction might bring.

Dias
6th February 2006, 5:29 AM
Looks to be yet another promising work and I am, of course, already intrigued. I look forward to immersion in another rich, eloquent, and enjoyable realm of writing of your craft. I must apoligize for my lethargic progress in Rhapsody, but I will hopefully finish reading your chapters posted thus far in the coming week. I anticipate reading through Rhapsody and diving into Eyes of the Python when that work manifests.

I will be brief with my comments on the preview, for it is all nothing that I haven't said before. It was a work fully characteristic of your namesake and the images and movements melded into one another in a succulent morsel of eye candy. I do believe that your image-conjuring of vast and untamed wilds is my most favorite part of your craftmanship.

Good luck.

Ryano Ra
7th February 2006, 12:41 AM
Looks to be yet another promising work and I am, of course, already intrigued. I look forward to immersion in another rich, eloquent, and enjoyable realm of writing of your craft. I must apoligize for my lethargic progress in Rhapsody, but I will hopefully finish reading your chapters posted thus far in the coming week. I anticipate reading through Rhapsody and diving into Eyes of the Python when that work manifests.

I will be brief with my comments on the preview, for it is all nothing that I haven't said before. It was a work fully characteristic of your namesake and the images and movements melded into one another in a succulent morsel of eye candy. I do believe that your image-conjuring of vast and untamed wilds is my most favorite part of your craftmanship.

Good luck.*bows*

I thank you for being enraptured in this future piece of work, Dias. I will be focusing more on action and adventuring elements throughout the entity of this fanfiction, for one of my goals was to not keep my writing skills within one type of categorized genres. I do plan to write fantasy in the future, though, blended with a few other genres, it'd be something to definitely take out and read for your enjoyment. Also, my great friend, must I say that you have always been supportive of my work, and I thank you for being such a dear and wonderful reader, as well as a fantastic friend. Thank you again.