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xXZeroXx
22nd June 2006, 1:58 AM
Well, this is my first ever fanfic, I finally pulled out the guts to write one. I know there are alot of great authors out there, like xXSaberXx. Actually I got inspired to write my own fanfic from Pokemon Revelation. As you can sew the squiggly lines are from Pokemon Revelation. Well I'd like to thank xXSaberXx to inspire me. I hope my is as good as hers. Which it wont be.

Anyways, not to our Featured Presentation...

*Gets the popcorn*

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Pokemon Doujinshi: Revelation Mew

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~Table of Contents~

1. The Mystery that is Oak Eggs!

2. Rocket’s Scam Revealed, Secret Base In Viridian!

3. Mystery of the One, Two, Three!

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~Chapter 1: The Mystery that is Oak’s Eggs! ~


The full moon hung in the midnight sky without even the smallest cloud to block out the ghostly light it cast on the world below. The glow of the street lights was nothing when compared to the endless supply of light from the moon and stars. A shadowy figure was walking in the lonely streets of Pallet Town. It was the figure of a young boy that is about thirteen. It was the figure of the town’s devious prankster: Danny Hoshi, he seemed to be walking directly underneath it, his head tilted skyward so that he might catch a glimpse of the majesty that was a starlit night as his amber eyes were lost in the starlit night sky. His hands were in his jeans pockets, and his spiky amber hair which reached down to his nose and halfway down his neck was blowing slightly in the cool breeze picking up. Peace and quiet…something that Danny Hoshi could only obtain in the dead of night in his hometown. Something he only enjoyed while walking home late after a long day.

’Heh…soon I’ll be able to bust outta this suburb and actually do something productive with myself. ‘Danny’s own voice echoed through his mind.

‘But I’ve gotta admit…I’m going to miss this place. Everyone I care about is here. But there’s no way I could turn down an opportunity like this one. I’ll finally get to live the dream and become a Pokemon Trainer.’ Danny continued through the streets of Pallet Town, ignoring the cold air surrounding his body. He turned a corner slowly, walking down a street which was all too familiar to him. One of his good friends lived on that street. He could still remember ever-so-clearly walking through that same town, however he remembered it as it was during the daytime hours, discussing the all too complex subject of Pokemon with his friends, as well as what they would do if one of them were to obtain a Pokemon and go off on a journey. They had all agreed that Danny would be the first to get one, even though he himself would never admit to it. Out of them, it was becoming increasingly clear that he had the most natural talent when it came to thinking up strategies in the midst of a battle. They would always joke about how he’d go on to bigger and better things in the world of Pokemon Training, and they’d be left in his dust.

’…And now I’m gonna give all of that up; my friends and family…everything I‘ve achieved here in Pallet Town. Basically, I‘m gonna be leaving my whole life behind to go on this journey.’ He thought calmly, slowly walking past his friend’s house without so much as looking back at it.

He turned yet another corner, this time walking onto the street which he called home. He stopped, looking to the end of the street. There sat his own house, with all of the lights turned off, signifying that everyone residing within the house was asleep. Reaching into his pocket, Evan pulled out his silver house key, grasping it tightly in the palm of his right hand. Continuing his walk home, the entire town still doused in golden moonlight, Evan made his way down the sidewalk leading to his residence. Upon reaching the front door, Danny took one last look back at his hometown, an almost serene look in his eyes.

“But it’ll be worth it.” He whispered to himself before inserting his house key, smirking as he unlocked his front door, and walked inside the house. In his home he quietly walked upon the wooden floor as if floating, not making sounds at all. He climbed the marble staircase to his room. He changed into a long shirt and some old, gray pants. He then fell asleep on his red pillow that seemed to be a fluffy white cloud to him. He fell asleep at the thought that the next day, would be his birthday and becoming thirteen, and the day he starts his journey through the region of Kanto.

The Next Day…

It was morning at about 8 ‘o’ clock when Danny’s amber eyes opened to the gleaming sun beams.

“Aaahhh! My eyes!” He yelled as he shielded the eyes from the sunbeams then fell off his bed with a loud thud.

“Honey!!” Danny’s mother’s voice seeped through the hardwood floor with worry due to the thud.

“Yeah mom, I’m alright!”

“Well get down here, your gonna be late for your big day!” Danny didn’t know whether she was talking about his birthday, or his first day as a trainer. But he just got dressed anyways. He pulled the large shirt over his head and put on his regular black one. He quickly put on his jeans and shoes. He walked downstairs sluggishly until he saw what his mother had done. On one side of the kitchen is a large banner that read : You will be missed but not forgotten, Danny Hoshi!

And another that said: Happy Birthday!

His older sister dragged him over to the small party where one of his friends put a birthday had on his spiky hair. And they kept pushing him around the room while the roof leaked with confetti. He was actually happy on the day he was leaving behind his whole life. He opened one of his presents to reveal a small one strapped bag that was a gold color with some black. He tried it on his left shoulder and it fit perfectly.

“ It has everything you’ll need for you long journey. Some pokeballs I bought from the mart, a flashlight, potions, a rope, a clothesline, and extra boxers.”

Danny blushed and just complained. As everyone around him giggled with joy, as did his mother. Danny opened his second and last present with excitement. He took one look at it and jumped with glee. It was a… Premier Ball! One of the rarest balls in the entire pokemon world. Danny was speechless, and just grabbed the Premier Ball which had a very light brown, leather string around it. He hung it around his neck. Everyone congratulated him, for once in his life… he felt proud of himself.

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It is about 10 ‘o’ clock now in Pallet Town, as Danny walks besides the bustling market place while he was rubbing his arms for warmth. It was unusually cold that day. And then saw a small boy in a white bini with a small Bellsprout. That reminded him of his own pokemon. Prof. Oak assigned him with Egg #4, which was a small brownish egg with white spikes at the bottom. It was a pretty small egg, as was all the others. He wondered and wondered about the egg and finally thought who the other 6 kids were who were also going on the journey. There were 7 eggs available. And suddenly he saw a giant, white mill seemed to just appear blocking the sun that was being covered by clouds.

Danny recognized it to be Prof. Oak’s lab and ran with excitement and glee up to the door. They slid open for him as he stepped on the smooth marble floor. He passed many of Oak’s Aids reading books from his many bookshelves. And the end of the plain white room was a desk covered in a mountain of piles books from small ones to big, thick ones. A man with graying hair, a lab coat, and a wrinkling face had his face in papers and books.

“Uhhh.. Professor?” Danny asked him peeking over the mountain of books.

“Oh! Danny, you’re finally here. I’d thought you’d never come!” Oak said merrily. This was a man who was always full of joy. Even when his wife left him and then came his grandson. His grandson is about 16 now, and he has a younger cousin by the name of Ivy Hitomi. He hoped that she wouldn’t be on this journey.

“Why! Am I late?” Danny asked.

“Pretty much, our A group left already. That group consisted of the first three egg holders.” Oak explained.

“So I’m stuck with the other 2 trainers.” Danny said.

Oak nodded as he said, “You just stay around here while I go get your egg and pokedex. Danny nodded and smiled as he looked around the room. There was a poster of three kids just about 2 years younger than him. On the poster it said: Three Best Trainers
RED GREEN BLUE


Danny wondered who they were when he noticed that they had Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle next to them.

“So the old professor used to give out pokemon, huh.” He pondered on that when the doors were slammed shut. He looked around to see a young girl. It was a girl with what seemed to be very smooth skin. She had on a black mini-skirt that's very short and a hot-pink tank-top with very slender straps that's fitted. Her hair was a nice shade of blonde.

“IVY!!!” Danny yelled.

“DANNY!!!” Ivy yelled.

“YOU’RE GOING ON THIS THING TOO!!!!!!” They both yelled as they were pointing to each other.”

A young boy walked in the room and saw them yelling,

“Wow, friendly place.” He said as he sweatdropped. Oak came in and sweatdropped also.

“I see you met the other two trainers you’re going to be traveling with.” Oak said as Danny walked up to him. Danny angrily snatched the Poke-Dex from the professor’s hands and well as the egg.

“Umm, professor. Why is this pokedex black?” Danny asked. Oak then passed the other two black pokedexs to the other trainers.

“Yeah, can I like get a pink one?” Ivy asked.

The other one stayed quiet. It seemed he was shy. The boy had red hair and baggy blue pants. His red hair is covered by a black hat that is pointed sideways.

Sick gangster: P

His red vest that is sleeveless is torn slightly and unzipped. Revealing a white undershirt. His name was, Adam Haruki.

“Well you see, I specially designed these to monitor you pokemon eggs.” Danny looked at Oak strangely as he put the egg down on the floor as well as his bag as he sat down. ( He knew this would take awhile) As did the other two,

“This black Poke-Dex has a special name. It is called the, Poke-Dex SP. It stands for Poke-Dex Special. But since I was already enhancing it, I hired its features. It can now send E-mail, transfer items through cyber space, connect to telepathic frequencies, and many other pokemon- related things, along with a map, display of you pokemon’s stats, And it has the availability to print out your pokemon on your Pokemon ID’s which have a special five-digit number.”

The three trainers understood now, or at least understood what they heard. Teenagers now a day have a short attentionspand. Oak came with two small eggs in each hand and gave them to Ivy and Adam. At this point Adam started talking,

“Hi guys! My name’s Adam!” He said in his raspy voice and extended his hand to greet Ivy.

“Hi! I’m Ivy!” She said.

“And I’m Danny!” Danny rushed in front of Ivy protectively and shook his hand.

“Well guys, I guess we’re heading off for our one year journey together!” Danny said as he started walking off carrying his egg.

“Wait!” Oak said. Danny facefaulted then spun around to see what Oak was talking about.

“ Let me do one quick adjustment to your dexs.” He said as he put a white micro-chip into each Poke-Dex.

“These are just like a little school in your dexs. I did this because out there in Viridian, people try to sell you this junk known as a Teachy TV. Don’t fall for it.”

After he said that, it was time to leave.

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They were all on Route One, walking along side the dirt road that separates two large paths of flowers and large grass. Danny was currently absorbed in his Black Pokedex as Ivy put on makeup and Adam was shaking his egg. Danny flipped open the dex and pushed a small button that looked like Danny’s egg. The screen then turned on and showed his egg! It said the egg is currently shaking and will soon hatch! And there was a small note on the top right that read:

Current Pokemon Status: Pokemon in egg has no relationship with trainer.

Danny was shocked. “What! We have a relationship! Don’t we egg?” Danny looked at the egg. It hopped up and down in his arms as Danny walked happily. He liked the fact that since they left Pallet the egg was more active.

They came to a fork in the road. They were three paths. But either way Viridian was still a long way to go.

“This way!” Each of them shouted pointing in a different direction.

“I think we should go this way!” Ivy said.

“I think we should go THIS way!” Adam said.

“Listen here Farm Boy and Cinderella, I don’t think you’ve noticed but I run things here!” Everything was silent for awhile, and then Ivy ran off in her direction mad as did Adam. Danny stomped his foot and walked off.

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Danny is walking on the dirt road and looked in his pokedex, the pokemon around this area included basic land creatures like Pidgey and Rattata. On the dirt road he wondered what pokemon he should catch to have two pokemon on his team. He looked at Rattata and its strong teeth and then looked at Pidgey and its impressive wingspan.

“Aaahhh!” Danny rubbed his head in decision.

“What do you think egg?” He looked at the egg in his arm. Danny could hear its happily snores.

“Oh well, its getting dark. I guess I should make camp. I’ll just E-mail Oak tomorrow and just tell him that we’re still traveling together.” After a few minutes Danny had a sleeping bag, his bag on the ground and he was on a stump next to a fire as his egg was merrily sleeping on the small pillow Danny had.

Danny couldn’t believe he was actually on a journey all by himself, with a pokemon! Suddenly Danny could hear a loud screeching noise. In the bright night sky the moon was blocked by a large shadow with what appeared to be waving wings. It looked as if the whole shadow on fire. It had large wings and was swooping down. Danny quickly grabbed his things and fled. The large shadow chased him, and screeched again. Danny covered one of his ears while holding the egg in the other.

The egg was shaking violently apparently scared. The shadow grabbed on Danny’s shirt with its large claws and took it into the air. His egg dropped along with all his things. The egg wildly chased after Danny.Who could save him?

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Ivy was still mad about the remark that Danny made as the moon started hanging over the sky. She put up her tent and didn’t want to sleep on the ground. All she could think was ‘EW!’

Suddenly, she could hear a loud screech and then another and saw a large shadow swoop to the ground about a half a mile away from her, seeing it pick up a person into the air. She took one look at the spiky headed person and started to run after it, her egg in her hand. Although not the athletic type, she was running furiously. Then, she felt a sharp jab on her back and felt as if she was walking on air. She looked up and saw that she was being carried by a spiked shadow!

The two shadows joined together and Danny saw Ivy.

“Hey! Are you alright!” Danny yelled.

“Yeah! But who’s that!” She pointed to a shadow leaving behind a blue glittering substance holding a small boy.

“It’s Adam!” Danny yelled. The three shadows gathered and were taking our heroes through the air. Danny looked through his pocket and found a small pebble. Probably put there when he fell off a boulder trying to look for Ivy and Adam. He grabbed and the pebble tightly and threw it and the bird who was carrying Ivy.

“Hey, BIRD BRAIN! If you harm a single hair on any of my friends, YOU’RE TOAST!” Danny yelled trying to break free of the bird. Adam and Ivy realized at that moment that Danny did need friends, and he was happy that he had them.

The bird that was carrying Danny flew higher up into the air and then dropped Danny. The other two birds simply dropped the other two heroes where they were flying. Danny, Ivy, and Adam were flying through the air.

“Hey, Danny! Did you really mean what you said back there?!” Adam yelled.

“Yeah! But do you think this is the right time!?” Danny answered.

~~~~~~

<What are we gonna do! What are we gonna do!!!!> Ivy’s egg hopped in panic and Danny’s egg was just laying there.

<I got it!>Danny’s egg shrieked.

Danny’s egg suddenly started running down the dirt path.

<Follow him!> Adam’s egg yelled.

The three eggs hopped down the dirt path where in the night sky, three kids helplessly sink into the ground.

The three eggs saw their trainers fall down and hopped faster and faster.

<DANNY!>

<IVY!>
<ADAM!> the three eggs yelled out when suddenly they started glowing! The oval shaped eggs soon morphed in to Pokemon!

Three small objects darted under the three kids and were used as coushins. But the baby pokemon were so light the trainers just crushed them, but their landing was safe.

The trainers took one looked at their newly hatched pokemon and burst into excitement. Danny hugged a small…….*Drum roll please* Evee! While Ivy welcomed a happy baby… Growlithe! And Adam picked up a smiling…Cubone! The three were so happy! Danny picked up all his things as well as Ivy, and Adam.

“Come on Evee! Let’s go.” Danny said motioning towards the same road they were heading. But his pokemon stayed still as did Cubone and Growlithe.

<We’re not moving until you three decide to travel together!> Growlithe said.

<What she said!> Cubone said.

Evee simply nodded and looked at Danny with a certain glare that can intimidate anyone.

“Alright then! Are you guys in.” Danny looked over at Adam and Ivy.

“Only if you are.” Adam said putting up his arm. Danny nodded and grasped his palm with a clapping noise.

The three trainers merrily are walking along Evee, Growlithe, and Cubone happily trotting behind them. The night sky had many stars, each of them for one person. Three very bright stars were looking at down at them that night, full of dreams, and hope…

Well how was it, please post any grammar mistakes. Which there will be alot, since I hate listening in school. But just comment away! The next chapter will probably be out on Friday, so see you later!

xXZeroXx ;004;

FusionSonicX
22nd June 2006, 2:54 AM
First reviewer! Yay me!

Anyways...


Ivy was still mad about the remark that Danny made as the moon started hanging over the sky. She put up her tent and didn’t want to sleep on the ground. All she could think was ‘EW!’

Suddenly, she could hear a loud screech and then another and saw a large shadow swoop to the ground about a half a mile away from her, seeing it pick up a person into the air. She took one look at the spiky headed person and started to run after it, her egg in her hand. Although not the athletic type, she was running furiously. Then, she felt a sharp jab on her back and felt as if she was walking on air. She looked up and saw that she was being carried by a spiked shadow!

The two shadows joined together and Danny saw Ivy.

For some reason, that one part didn't feel right. So, I gave it a few little edits. Just to let you see some mistakes.

Your length is pretty good for your first fanfic ever. I will give you that.

And since it is your first fanfic ever, like the edits I made above, you have got some punctuation errors in it. That can be easily fixed up though.

Well, that is about it. I will continue to check back on this as it has a lot of potential. Good luck and keep it up.

xXZeroXx
22nd June 2006, 3:01 AM
Thanks for the edit, I posted it on there. Well yeah, I'll remember you forever... or not

The Great Butler
22nd June 2006, 3:10 AM
This isn't bad. You had a little shakiness on past/present tense, but you did fairly well.

I'll keep an eye on this, I think it has potential.

xXZeroXx
22nd June 2006, 5:30 AM
This isn't bad. You had a little shakiness on past/present tense, but you did fairly well.

I'll keep an eye on this, I think it has potential.


Thanks, but it'll be creepy being watched...

<<

>>

Well thank you peoples, like I said beforet teh next chappie will be this friday! So still comment away!

Chaos Rush
17th July 2006, 5:50 AM
Your profile is exactly like Danisuke_San's... Also the inspiration is the same, and Danisuke_San is already making a fic like this before you did. You also did almost the exact title (Doing Pokemon: Revelation Mew, instead of Pokemon Mew: Revelation Kanto), and the same trainer card request from FireStorm Charizard...

If you other people don't believe me, check here:
http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=127258

I know you are exactly copying him...
Also you did the exact character name, but switching with Danny, instead of Dani...

Oh yeah, and the squigglies are just like xXSaberXx, and the : <Hi! I'm Pikachu! I'm a Pokemon, so my punctuation looks like this!>

Your user title is the same as Danisuke_San's...I mean Sk8er Master...

Try to make things your own ideas, instead of xXSaberXx, and Danisuke_San's ideas...


EDIT: Ignore that, I think I just figured out that you are Danisuke_San. Sorry! But then, why did you make a new account? Also check the inbox on your old account. You might like what you see!

Tale
17th July 2006, 1:03 PM
Uhh, Danisuke...double accounts are not allowed - I'd expect to have one of them banned if I were you, so make your pick, Danisuke-San or Zero.

Also, did you pay attention to what I said last time? I notified Saber, you know, she knows about this, and the fact that you did it twice...well, things aren't going to be going in your favour.


I was also strongly reminded of Sabers fic, not only because of the title, but for the following reasons:




I knwo Serebii has alot of great authors, and I wanna be like them someday.





Wow. Okay, this is new! Serebii.net has so many kick butt authors, I WANT TO FOLLOW IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS!


The first line reminded me of Sabers.




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Pokemon Mew: Kanto Revelation

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~~~Table of Contents~~~

Updates on the chapters will
Be on my signature.

Or just follow this key
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> = in progress
* = Finished
] =writers block, or is in planning
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Pokemon Revelation: Cross of Fates

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~~~Episode Index~~~

*=indicates that it is done and posted.
+= indicates that it is in progress.
nothing=indicates it has been planned out and needs to be started on.



The decoration and the layout reminded me strongly of Saber's.




1. The Town of New Awakenings! *

2. Walloping Weedles! >

3. The Great Pokemon Escape! And Giant Caterpie!?

4. History’s Comes Alive!

5. Nerves of Steel or Stone: Brock’s Battle in Pewter Gym!






1. To Begin! A new wind blows! *

2. When things turn foul! I am the old man! *

3. It's a Bug Eat Bug World! A promise to fight and the second sighting! *

4. History Ahoy? The Haunted museum tour! *

5. My will is Stone: Brocks Battle in Pewter Gym! *

6. Mt. Moon Showdown! A Concert to remember! *


And the chapter titles were just like Saber's.

I can garuntee, Danisuke, we're not going to be the only ones who notice this. Its not necessarily plagerism, there's no need to get too worried - at least, from what I've seen, but one thing that every author on Serebii is unique, and you basically look like you're a Saber clone, or a Saber worshipper here.

I'm pretty sure you'll get worse and harsher opinions on your apparent similarity, so I suggest a change in everything I've noted at least, of course, you can't change the title; but the first part of the story, as soon as we enter the thread, everyone whos even glimpsed her fic will be reminded of Saber and therefore accuse you of things you could do without. So yeah, I suggest a swift change in decoration, layout and chapters. You're a new author, make yourself original, make yourself unique.

Edit: Oh yeah, and you've even got that little sunglasses smiley beside your title - just like Saber.

Thats what I said last time. Hell, Danisuke, you've even got the cool sunglasses smiley again.

Look, nobody is going to like this fic, I'm saving you a lot of trouble when I tell you to delete this thread and redo it, make the fic your own. You'll only face flames, Saber has a lot of fans, and they'll roast you dammit.

Make this fic your own, it has potential, but it's almost plagerism. Please follow the advice.

Yami Ryu
17th July 2006, 1:11 PM
Tale: Don't bother. Dorks like this only understand one thing. Closed threads :/ so reporting this to Sandra, and then maybe this 'double accountant' will learn the hard way that there's a difference between being inspired and being a thief.

Zephyr Flare
17th July 2006, 1:39 PM
AND HERE COMES THE DRAGON WITH THE BASEBALL BAT.

You know after closing so many threads you get rather random.


If this is a double account, you WILL be banned, heck if it's not you will for plagurisim anyway so take yer pick which you would like banned for ;)


Sandra