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View Full Version : Creations Between Worlds - The Fiction



xJermx
24th June 2006, 11:26 PM
Hey guyssss! Um.. This is a fiction based on a Pokemon Roleplay site. This Idea goes completly to Darth Kittious aka Kitten. This is the first chapter.

.alannah.

“We STG users must stick together. You know why? That’s how we’ll win this war.” said a male figure.

The table was filled with three males and two females. They were all concerned about one thing. The Pokeball users. They were just left behind; still concerned with the old ways. STG was the new technology. “But in the end who would really win? Our weapon could destroy the whole planet. We don’t know what they have in store.” said one of the female figures. Soon after that the room was filled with ahs. This would hard for everyone and they knew it. They were on the brink of something that would control the world.

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The sky was dark and clouded. A small girl on top of a Charizard was flying through the air; chased by several Dragonite and one other Salamence. The girl was Alannah Nokawa. Alannah had been on the run. She knew that if she would get caught it would just be over for her. “Alannah I have to fight back!” the Charizard said to his Trainer. Her STG beeped and translated what the Pokemon said into English language. Alannah nodded.

“Flamethrower then dive down!” Alannah ordered.

Her dark brown hair fly behind her as the Charizard turned his head and blasted a large blast of flame. Soon as the blast left his mouth he clipped his wings to his body and Alannah layed down forward on the Charizard’s back. He then dived as fast as he could. The Dragonites and the Salamence were on his tail. The clouds parted as Alannah and her Charizard dived through the air. “We have to find some where to go Karin!” Alannah yelled. The Charizard heard her but it was not very clear. The Pokemon behind him stopped in the air. The people on their backs had ordered them too.

Alannah saw this and she ordered her Pokemon just to slow down. Alannah scanned the skies with her brown orbs; floating inside her sockets. The sky had cleared up; only showing some sun. Alannah had been tired. After she had hide in side the enemy camp and the running from the camp she was so tired. She knew that her Pokemon had been tired too. Alannah rubbed her Charizard’s head. “That’s good Karin, let’s find somewhere to land.” The Charizard smiled weakly as he flew down to the ground. Soon they were in the small city named Kadotai City or better known as Zodiac City.

Soon they were at a small Pokemon Center. It looked like it didn’t have a good foundation but Alannah would check it out. Or to just hide somewhere inside there. The Charizard called itself back inside his Summon Orb. Alannah was fine by this because she couldn’t take it out of her Necklace which had her Sehoul Tek Gear (STG) on it. The doors parted as she walked in. Not many people were inside this was probably because it was so small. But, there was a space where she could sleep. She knew tomorrow she would be in big trouble.

Alannah went up to the desk. She spoke with the man and he gave her a cot that was in the closet and he also gave her some blankets and a pillow. She walked o a small room that the man directed her to. She turned the knob and opened the door. It was small but it looked pretty comfortable. So she let the cot down and layed the blankets on top. She quickly jumped on the cot and fell asleep. Tomorrow would be probably one of the worst days of her life. So she slept.

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She breathed heavily and sweat dropped down her forehead. You could tell she was nervous. She looked down to her lap and there was an envelope. “Oh no…” she said as she looked at it. She then reached slowly to the envelope. She picked it up and slowly opened it. She didn’t know what it was going to say. Maybe her getting kicked out of her squad or just another mission. She really didn’t know. She was equally scared. It read as:

To Alannah,

So, you were found out at the Pokeball User Camp? It must be true because, I was told that you were chased by their Guards.
This can not happen if we plan to win this war. You are one of our best people to get the job done. I really don’t understand
why you were caught. Sometimes you are really clumsy and we are having a problem with that. We are not going to do anything
about it now but don’t let it happen again. Now we shall test you. Please come to the lost forest at 5:00 P.M. we need your skills
to win this small battle. You know the Pokeball user’s underestimate our power. We shall defeat all of them. You must defeat one of their
officers. Do this and I will promote you.

Sincerely,

General Mitsukai

Alannah rubbed her hand down her face. She was so close. Alannah jumped up out of the cot and ran out the door. She didn’t bother to check out she just ran out the door. She slowed down after she was a ways away from the Pokemon Center. She stopped and fell on her butt. She crossed her legs Indian style, she closed her eyes and when she opened them her Medicham was floating in the air next to her. “Why hello Vera.” She said to the female Medicham. The female nodded as she went back to her meditation.

“What am I going to do? General Mitsukai is waiting for the results of the battle.” Alannah said into her hands.

Vera floated down to the ground and she landed on her feet. “Well, you know I’m always here to help you. So is everyone else.” Vera said as she put her hand on her trainer’s shoulder. Alannah looked up to her Pokemon and smiled. She looked around. The city was pretty quiet and peaceful. Not many people were around and Alannah was fine with that. But, she had to leave this place and find the “Lost Forest”. So she got up and Vera began to float. She and the Medicham began to walk/float off. Alannah could do this right? She hoped she could. If she didn’t win, she didn’t know what she could do with herself anymore. Vera looked at her trainer with discontent. It was weird for Vera to see her trainer like this. Ever since this whole “war” started Alannah had been down and all her Pokemon felt it. Alannah sighed as she made her way to out of the town.

~()~WOBBUFFET~()~
27th June 2006, 9:13 PM
Great Fic!!!!

xJermx
5th July 2006, 2:52 AM
Oh thank you! I shall post the second chapter soon. Its coming.

The Dean of Suds
5th July 2006, 4:35 PM
This would hard for everyone
Maybe a "be" in there would sound better.

she would get caught it would just be over for her.
If she was caught sounds better.

Her dark brown hair fly behind her
flew instead of fly.

blasted a large blast of flame.
A little repetative there.

The people on their backs had ordered them too.
Too should be to.

she had hide in side the enemy camp
She had hidden inside the enemy camp, two errors.

She walked o a small room that the man directed her to.
That o is a to, right?

Please come to the lost forest at 5:00 P.M. we need your skills to win this small battle.
Capitalize we.

as she made her way to out of the town.
She made her way out of town, not out of the town. It's just smoother.

Well, aside from the numerous spelling and grammar mistakes, this fic has promise. The plot is interesting, [although the war seems over such a trivial thing. Perhaps there is something more at stake than the way people send out pokemon?] and the characters seem a little thin, so try to improve the character development, as well as spelling/grammar. It is fairly well written, but if you work hard, this could grow into an excellent fic. Good job!
Over and out,;198;

xJermx
8th July 2006, 11:48 PM
Gwah I totally see what your saying. Since my eyes are bad I can't see some mistakes I make. For some reason my stupid Mircosoft Word Office doesn't catch those mistakes. But, next time it'll be better.