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Chaos Rush
27th June 2006, 12:35 AM
Ok, I know that this is very original, and that many people have wrote this story similar to mine. You can probably guess what it is, if you have played Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald version.
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Chapter 1: Moving Day
Brendan was riding in the most bumpiest place in the world. Well, sort of. He was moving from Olivine City(Johto) to Littleroot Town(Hoenn). He wanted to become a trainer, so he thought Hoenn would be a good place to begin with.

Brendan was in the back of a moving van, with lots of carelessly placed boxes that could fall on him any minute. No, let's change that to second. The boxes could fall any second. His dad, Prof. Birch has found that Littleroot is a nice and small place to live. He studies Pokemon, and wants Brendan to become a Pokemon Trainer.

The moving van finally stopped, in a rather unpleasent way. A box had fallen on Brendan's arm. Luckily, nothing in the box broke. Brendan's mom told him to get out, before anything else falls. One of the drivers said, "Um...er..sorry about that Brendan. And um...here's your new house."

Littleroot seemed very tiny. The town seemed like a square, surrounded by trees, and 3 buildings. His new house, a neighbor, and a Pokemon Lab.
http://i4.*******.com/15rnk87.png

(The house on the upper left corner is Brendan's new home.)

Brendan's mom told him, "Well, the Vigoroth's are going to put all the furniture in here. Why don't you check in your new room? There are some things that your dad has got you, he made lots of money with the fieldwork he does.

Brendan's new home seemed good for three people. He went upstairs, and into his room to find these things: A new bed, an Item Storage System connected to a new PC, and some new clothes. He checked his new Computer, and found that his dad also gave him a Potion, to help him on his journey. He tried on his new clothes, which fit him just fine.
He now looked like this:
http://i3.*******.com/15ro30i.png
There was also a new clock on the wall. Brendan set it to the current time (3:25, I am writing this at this time) and he went downstairs and told his mom that everything was set up. Brendan's mom said, "Well, why don't you meet our neighbor-I heard that she wanted to become a Trainer to." Brendan's reply was, "Fine."

Brendan wished that his new neighbor would be a boy, wondering what might happen if she was a girl. Which she was a girl. He knew he would have no choice, so he walked to his neighbors house.
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Well, sorry if the chapter seemed too short. I will be posting Chapter 2 soon.
Please, tell me what you think. A small note: I have made Brendan 15 years old, and so is the futeure character, May

Leon Phelps
27th June 2006, 12:44 AM
Go here:Advice for Aspiring Authors (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19)

You're new here and probaly not aware that Brendan/May adventures have been done to death. You are much better off coming up with your own plot and unique characters than ripping off of the stale storyline that game offers.

There is still a chance that you could turn this around and surprise us, but I won't get my hopes up. And a story without a title? Way to reel in the readers.

Chaos Rush
27th June 2006, 12:48 AM
Go here:Advice for Aspiring Authors (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19)

You're new here and probaly not aware that Brendan/May adventures have been done to death. You are much better off coming up with your own plot and unique characters than ripping off of the stale storyline that game offers.

There is still a chance that you could turn this around and surprise us, but I won't get my hopes up. And a story without a title? Way to reel in the readers.

Well, I just feel like making a story like this. So are you saying that I should write something different? Maybe can it still feature Groudon, Kyogre, and Hoenn?

Leon Phelps
27th June 2006, 12:53 AM
I'm not saying that you should write something different, but you should use your imagination a little more to spice things up. The other members here have seen people use the game plot time and time again. You don't have to make things so linear. Just have fun and ask yourself "Would I really want to read this?"

A member by the name of Breezy did what you are doing, but really brought Brendan and May's personalities. Try reading some of the five or four star fics here to get an idea of what I'm saying.