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The Missing Number
1st July 2006, 6:35 AM
Hi! After my less than liked fic last time, I came back with another fic about the Pokemon world going to war. It stars Blaine a bit. This might be PG-13, because of some violence, but you never know.

PROLOUGE

"No!" Blaine's hand smashed the table "That spot is mine! You can't take that away!"

"Blaine, calm down. The Liutenant is a much better spot. Besided, it's a nice twist, having a Fire Gym so early" Giovanni was unnaturally calm, even for him.

"But sir, that Gym is all I have! I worked-"Blaine was cut off by Giovanni

"Of course you worked hard, you were a Team Rocket Scientist!" Giovanni always gave Team Rocket members power in whatever industry they were in.

"Anyway Blaine, after you left Team Rocket, I feel that I'd give the position to one of my, well, more loyal members" ever after all Blaine's screaming, Giovanni retained his monotonus tone of voice.
Blaine realised that there was no hope for him to keep his spot as seventh Gym leader, so he started to walk away.

"I've never been a good person" he muttered to himself "but it's time for team rocket to pay, once and for all.
Blaine got out his cellphone, and dialled Brock's number

"Hello? Brock? It's me, Blaine. We have a probelm with Team Rocket. Could you please come to Cinnibar? Ok then, Bye."

Meanwhile, deep in Ceurelean cave, the lonely Mewtwo suddenly felt a huge surge of anger. His right arm started to burn, and erupted into crimson fire.

"Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!"

Something was going to happen, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

So, whaddya think? Please leave a review.

The Smore
1st July 2006, 12:43 PM
Nice. Was that the prologue or chapter one ? For a chapter it was far too short, and even for a prologue it was short. I never thought of Blaine in that way.


Ok then, Bye."

should be


Ok then, bye."

and


"but it's time for team rocket to pay, once and for all.

should be


"but it's time for Team Rocket to pay, once and for all."

But it looks like this could become a good story, just a bit rushed.

Bye

~TS~

krymzen
2nd July 2006, 6:19 AM
Nice so far, maybe a bit quick though...
I can tell this'll be a good fic ^_^.

The Missing Number
2nd July 2006, 6:54 AM
Thank's for those. A note for this chapter - My 'a' key is a bit jammed, so if there are any spelling mistakes involving a missing a, don't worry.

Chapter one

Blaine had gathered the legit members of the Kanto Gym Leaders - Erica, Brock and Misty - in the Cinnibar island Mansion.

"Okay then Blaine" began Misty "what exactly is the problem? It better be important. It took me ages to surf all the way out here."

"It is Misty, don't worry. Now, there are two reasons that I called you out here today." Blaine crossed his fingers, hoping that they would help "Firstly, my position as seveth Gym leader is being taken over by the Liutenant"

"WHAT!" Exclaimed Brock "Is that why you asked us to come all the way out here? Your being moved to a different Gym? I'm leaving." Brock overturned his chair in anger, and headed to the door.

"Brock, that is only the first reason" said Erica, in her calming voice "Blaine mentioned there was more - you should sit down"

Slowly, reluctantly, Brock returned to his chair.

"Thanks you Erica. Now, to continue. You all know that I haven't been, well, lawful, over the past years. I quit Team Rocket today, hoping to be accepted back into society. However, when I was arguing with Giovanni, I noticed something on his computer screen - it looked like the blueprint of something, along with some notes. I managed to read something important though."

Blaine took out a notepad, with some words scribbled on it.

"My memory isn't too good, you all must know. But, here is exactly what it said, word for word." Blaine gave the notepad to Misty.

"Hmm...it says - able to control a Pokemon's mind with just one sting. Currently in final testing stage. Reported bugs..." Misty passed the notepad along to Erica, so she could see what was written

"Yes, that was all I managed to see." continued Blaine "Anyway, it seems Team Rocket has been working on some new weapon - I was surprised I wasn't informed of it. Perhaps Giovanni realised my disloyalty"

Erica passed the notepad to Brock, who read it in just a few seconds

"Blaine" started Brock "I know this seems important to you, but what are the chances that you would just happen to see something this important?"

"That's what I thought when I first saw it. But, Giovanni hadn't been expecting me - I sort of barged in" Blaine rubbed his arm "I really should have knocked - Iron can cause some serious pain"

"Blaine, if that is true, then this is a real problem for the Pokemon world. But, what do you suggest we do?" Erica was trying to see the reality of this whole situation

"That's why I called you here" said Blaine "we need to take Team Rocket out once and for all. If this project goes through, then the Pokemon world is in jeapordy"

"But there are too many Rockets for us to handle - more and more people have been joining them, trying to get there share of glory amongst the underworld" Misty was the youngest of the group, so she was getting a bit scared about this whole situation.

"I know. It's time to enlist the help of Ash and Red once again. They may be our only hope. But, we must also help out. Misty - go to the the Ceurelean cave and get Mewtwo. Tell him that Blaine sent you"

Misty rushed out the door. The deafening cry of a Gyrados was heard, and Misty sped off.

"Erica, go to the Copycat's place. Her Ditto's transforming skills may be needed."

Erica also ran out the door. She sent out her one and only water Pokemon - Mantine - and surfed off.

"Brock, you need to get Red - he should be somewhere in Mount Silver, training as usual. I'm going to get Ash - knowing him, he's probably in some forest on the Orange islands."

Brock sent out Crobat, and flew right out the open door, towards Johto.

Blaine got out his water scooter, and went off towards the Orange islands.

Ya, that's it.
As you can see, it's a mix between the TV show, Manga, and a bit of the games. The time that everything happens is a bit changed, and Ash is travelling alone. Just to clear stuff up.

Yami Ryu
2nd July 2006, 6:58 AM
....

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19

Good god it's like script in story format! And if this is really chapter two, and that was really chapter one, chapter one was way too damn short! They both are rushed, the characters are flat, these 'chapters' could have been drawn out a bit longer. Description is next to nothing, what is going on! THIS IS NOT A RADIO OR TV PROGRAM TYVM.

Go to the link I put, and read the damn thread.

The Missing Number
2nd July 2006, 7:13 AM
....

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19

Good god it's like script in story format! And if this is really chapter two, and that was really chapter one, chapter one was way too damn short! They both are rushed, the characters are flat, these 'chapters' could have been drawn out a bit longer. Description is next to nothing, what is going on! THIS IS NOT A RADIO OR TV PROGRAM TYVM.

Go to the link I put, and read the damn thread.

okay...than'ks, I guess. The first one was the Prolouge, that was Chapter one. But, you didn't have to be so mean, did ya? You probably did. Yeah, I shouldn't have started this...I'll just leave this thread to die.
EDIT
Actually, I'm going to post more. Can't let my day be ruined, huh? Iv'e got a question for all readers before I go on - would you prefer the Pokemon world going to war, or would you prefer a private battle? And, what does TYVM mean? Anyway, which? Because I want to write something that would entertain more people. And don't forget, drop a review!

The Smore
3rd July 2006, 5:48 PM
Yami Ryu - Ouch

But I'm glad you're going to continue it. I think an all out pokemon war is best, cause I don't really know what you pmean by private war.

But yeh they're both HORRIBLY short. Badly. Really.
Quote time!


"Okay then Blaine" began Misty "what exactly is the problem? It better be important. It took me ages to surf all the way out here."

becomes


"Okay then Blaine," began Misty, "what exactly is the problem? It better be important, 'cause it took me ages to surf all the way out here."


and



Brock sent out Crobat, and flew right out the open door, towards Johto.

Is wrong because commas are used to add a side comment and then continue the previous sentence.

so,


Brock sent out Crobat, it shook it's purple wings, and he flew towards Johto.

well .... not exactly but you get the gist.

Edit ~ Whoo you're a fog trainer!