View Full Version : Pokemon Adventures! (Rated PG)

2nd July 2006, 9:29 PM
I've seen video versions of people having fake pokemon journeys on youtube. So here's a fic about me and my friends pokemon journey in Kanto, Sevii Islands, Orange Islands, Johto, Hoenn, Orre and hopefully Shinoh when it comes out. It will be in script format so get used to it. Here's the characters.


Jonathon- Jonathon is very happy and hyper trainer. He likes to say and do random stuff to get on peoples nerves. His mom is in the elite four of Orre.

Daniel- Jonathon's younger cousin. he's more brave and strangely sillier than Jonathon. His dad is in

Mary Jo- Now, here's a girl. She is pretty bossy and likes to be in control most of the time.

Morgan- This girl doesn't really like Pokemon. They scare her. She is now getting used to them.

Rebecca- She is a very quiet girl. SHe knows a lot for her family were trainers. Her aunt is in the elite four

Tyler- He is a very hyperactive boy. He doesn't settle down whatsoever and likes hyper pokemon. Much hyperer than Jonathon. His grandpa is in the Elite Four.

Dawson- The youngest. Likes to talk.

Anna Grace- Jonathon's good friend. Wants to be the best trainer.

Episode 1: Gotta Getem All?!

Pokemon theme 1 plays.

Jonathon: Todays the day me and my friends become pokemon trainers.

I wanna be the very best that no one ever was

Jonathon runs out of his house wearing a blue shirt and black shorts.. He has tan skin, brown eyes and black curly hair.

To catch them is my real test to train them is my cause.

Jonathon motions for Daniel to follow. he has short blonde hair and glasses, white skin, blue eyes, a white shirt and black shorts.

I will travel across the land searching far and wide

Jonathon knocks on Mary Jo's door. She answers and comes out wearing a green shirt and blue shorts. She is tan with long hair. She is part Korean.

It's pokemon to understand the power that's inside

They run over to morgan's house and she comes out before Mary Jo knocks. She is wearing basically the same thing as Daniel. She has white skin, long red hair and blue eyes.

Pokemon gotta catch em all. It's you and me

Next up is Rebecca's house. Morgan knocks and she comes out. She comes out with a pink shirt and hot pink pants. She has white skin, long blonde hair, blue eyes and is wearing a blue shirt with grey pants.

I know its our destiny. Pokemon!

Next Daniel knocks on Tyler's house. He comes out being silly. He has black hair, white skin, brown eyes and wearing a grey shirt and brown pants.

Ooh you're my best friend in a world we must defend

Next Tyler knocks on Dawson's door. he wears a golden basketball uniform with black pants. He has short blonde hair and blue eyes.

Pokemon! Gotta catch em all! A heart so true.

Next Rebecca knocks on Annagrace's house. She comes out laughing. She wears a pink shirt and grey pants. She has long brown hair and green eyes.

Our courage will pull us through.

They all are there holding hands hopping to the lab.

You teach me and I'll teach you pokemon! Gotta catch em all! Gotta catch em all! Pokemon!

Tyler: We represent the lollypop guild!
Dawson: No we represent the pokemon guild.
Mary Jo: Boys.
Jonathon: Watch it little miss---
Tyler: Moo cow!
Dawson, Daniel and Jonathon: Little miss moo cow?
Annagrace: *laughs* Funny.

Our heroes finally make it to the lab.

???: My name is Professor Fassas. Welcome to my lab. Ready to catch em all?
Morgan: You mean get em all.
Jonathon: I've watched pokemon ever since I was a baby. it's gotta catch em all.
Morgan: Well I'm gonna get em.
Fassas: Anyways here's your pokemon here at pallet.
Daniel: But this is--
fassas: Pallet Town!
Rebecca: Have it your way.
Jonathon: Burger King.
All: Have it your way!
Fassas: Ok, as you see we have 8 balls. Pick em up randomly.

The 8 kids pick up balls.

Jonathon: I'll go first. Come on out! *Gastly appears* Cool, a Gastly!
Daniel: My turn. Pokeball go! *ponyta appears* A horse?
Mary Jo: Me next! Come out little one! *Pinsir comes out* Or ugly one.
Morgan: Uh, go? *Grimer appears* A piece of poo?
Jonathon: Uh its sludge.
Morgan: Good cause I was about to pass out.
Rebecca: Come out! *Horsea appears* Wow, cute!
Tyler: Go, pokemon thingy! *ditto appears* Gooey!
Dawson: I choose you! *Psyduck appears* Aw, need some asprin?
Annagrace: Time to dazzle these peeps. *Abra appears* Wow, a sleeper.

They named their creatures. Jonathon's Gastly was named Ghost. Daniel's Ponyta was named Dash. Mary Jo's Pinsir was named Sir Pin. Morgan's Grimer was named Pooh. Rebecca's Horsea was named Sea. Tyler's Ditto was named *ahem* Gooey. Dawson's Psyduck was named Asprin. And Annagrace's Abra was named Sleepyhead.

Jonathon: So, Fassas where are we headed?
Fassas: Viridian City!
Mary Jo: Cool. To Viridian City.

(Viridian City plays)

All: No more music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The game music plays when you are heading for a town in Red/Blue/Yellow/FR/LG)

Then a pack of Mankey's start chasing them.

Annagrace: Sleepyhead use psychic.
Annagrace: What a useless pokemon. *kicks it*

Gooey becomes a Rhydon and knocks the Mankey's down and then our heroes enter Viridian after Gooey becomes normal again.

Next episode.

Jonathon: What's with this Team Rocket and strange gym?
Tyler: Hey I can't get out of the gym!
Rebecca: We lost and can't get out!
Mary Jo: Help!
Daniel: Time for some heroes.

Episode 2- Lockdown

Yami Ryu
2nd July 2006, 9:46 PM
Fecking hell Uysl!

READ (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19)

Seriously, just because you PHAIL at writing a story with description, doesn't mean you automatically will achive in SCRIPTING! I bet all you did was write this up in the reply box in 5 minutes! FFS even Flaming Ruby puts more effort into her script!

Just. ARG. It's like you say you get it Uysl, then five minutes later you go around and do something that proves you either have a five second memory, or that you really like not putting effort into something.

>_< sheesh

3rd July 2006, 6:40 PM
Look, this isn't a good story because it is a Pokemon Adventures story! If you see one on Youtube it ain't too good either so get off of me. it is just for humor.

Chapter 2: Lockdown

Jonathon sees Dawson staring at the Viridian Gym.

Jonathon: What's wrong?
Dawson: Only 3 trainers at a time can go in there.
Jonathon: So, I see Tyler, Rebecca and Mary Jo went in huh?
Dawson: Yeah.
Jonathon: I bet we could just peer in and see how it is going.
Dawson: Ok!

Jonathon and Dawson peer into the gym and see Giovanni battling Tyler, Rebecca and Mary Jo all at once.

Tyler: Gooey, go!
Rebecca: Come on out, Sea!
Mary Jo: Sir Pin!
Giovanni: Go, Mewtwo (yes he has Mewtwo right now), Tauros and Rhydon!
Rebecca and Mary Jo: Cool, a Mewtwo!
Tyler: *riding on Tauros and then Mewtwo* Kitty and bully!
Giovanni: Rhydon, earthquake! Tauros, tackle! Mewtwo, unleash!

Rhydon uses earthquake and Pinsir falls over. Tauros tackles Sea and she falls over as well. Gooey became Mewtwo but Mewtwo easilly defeated Gooey.

Giovanni: Now, you must be my servants. Rocky, do it. Anette take these losers to the dungeon.

The doors locks by Rocky, a team rocket grunt and Annette which looks strangely like Casiddy from the show takes them to the dungeon with her Machamp.

Dawson: No!!!!!!!!! Their locked inside! Let's tell the others!
Jonathon: I'll go inside. You tell the others.
Dawson: Take Asprin for a while. *gives Jonathon his psyduck* He could come in handy with his confusion attack. *leaves for the pokemon center*
Jonathon: Ghost use night shade! Asprin use confusion!

Before the attacks hit the doors open.

Ghost: Gastly?
Asprin: Psyduck duck.
Jonathon: COme on guys. *the 3 walk in*
Giovanni: Another one? Heh. I should be able to defeat you easilly. Mewtwo, unleash!

Mewtwo appears and tries to defeat Asprin and Ghost. Asprin gets hit and gets knocked out while Ghost dodges.

Jonathon: Revive! *uses on asprin* OK, run for the corridor!

Jonathon and the pokemon run for the corridor and see Rebecca, Tyler and Mary Jo asleep in some kind of state. Daniel, Dawson and Anna Grace walks in and sees Giovanni.

Giovanni: One of you must leave.
Daniel: OK, see ya! *runs off for Pewter City*

~~~~Pokemon mart~~~~~~~~~~~

Morgan: We're leaving already? *follows Daniel*

~~~~~~~~~Viridian Gym~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jonathon: Asprin scratch!

Asprin scratches the 3 and they wake up.

Annette: Machamp, Janenba come on out!

Machamp and a big fat yellow pokemon comes out. The Janemba pokemon looked sort of like a Machop/Snorlax fusion.

Janemba: Janemba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It used hyper beam and almost blew up the gang. It woke up Tyler and Mary Jo and they ran off following Daniel and Morgan.

Dawson: Where are they going?
Jonathon: Sad to say it but they left us.
Rebecca: What? So, now it's just the four of us?
Anna Grace: Great. (sarcasm) Sleepy head use teleport.

Sleepyhead teleports them to the Viridian City pokemon center.

Jonathon: Let's heal our pokemon and set of for Pewter City.

Their pokemon was healed and they decided to catch up with Daniel, Morgan, Mary Jo and Tyler who are in Viridian Forest.

Daniel: It seems like we got separated.
Morgan: Ya think?
Mary Jo: *sigh*
Tyler: Yay!

Next time on Pokemon adventures!

Jonathon: Look at all these pokemon!
Rebecca: And all of those Team Rocket people!
Dawson: Isn;t that Rocky and Annette?
Anna Grace: Not them again!

Episode 3: The Maze of Trees

Yami Ryu
3rd July 2006, 6:47 PM
Look, this isn't a good story because it is a Pokemon Adventures story!

That is as lame a reason as the FIRST FIC EXCUSE. And humor? What humor? I don't see any humor. I just see bad scripting through and through :/ you know I think there was a tutorial for scripting. Go find it and read it. And I'm betting you're still just writing it up in the reply box.

3rd July 2006, 6:54 PM
In the name of humour it may be, and yes, I'm sure there are some who find the basic idea and dialogue hilarious - but I'm afraid it breaks the fanfic rules.

Uysl, I'm afraid Yami here is right. She's tried countless times to help you improve, and you've said contless times that you'll strive to improve, yet there is no improvement, Uysl. It can be done, you can improve if you put the effort in, but you're not.

You said the quality of this fic doesn't matter because its humorous and a Pokemon Adventure story (which is no excuse to make it crap, but thats another argument altogether), but you can't just make a fic and put minimal effort into it because of that reason - you especially. You've said that you want to improve, and you've said that you will improve, in the RPG forums and the Fanfic forums, but you're making no effort to do so, a fact that is proven by this fic.

Uysl, you're dedicated, and by now, if you were a bad writer, you would have fled the fanfic forums after Yami's famous reviews, but you haven't. You want to improve. So do it, try, take in everything that is said to you, and try.

I'd quit this if I were you, or rewrite it and get rid of the script format. From there, take in all your reviews and improve on the things suggested, thats what reviews are for. Then you'll improve.

Good luck.