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View Full Version : Alone (Tracey one-shot, G)



Blackjack Gabbiani
7th July 2006, 8:29 AM
Alone again. Of course, it happens all the time. He says I should be honored that he trusts me this much, but I'm not equipped to handle all this.

I'm his assistant. The fact that he couldn't handle all this himself should tell him that I can't do it either.

I go through the motions, all the chores and tests that have to be done, but as I log the numbers, they all kind of run together.

I can't do this. Professor, you know that you mean more to me than anyone, but I just can't take this work you dump on me. You wonder why I'm worn out all the time, why I can't seem to draw anything anymore, why more often than not I have to run things twice because I did something wrong the first time. Professor, I just can't take this.

I see that picture you keep by the phone, the one of all three of us. I know I can't compete with her, and I don't blame her for all this. I don't think she notices either.

There's a sick feeling in my stomach, and I grab the picture from off the wall and plant it face-down on the couch. The frame cracks under my hands and I freeze.

Right then I know I'm stuck, because the only thought in my mind is 'Oh god, I need to fix this before the Professor gets home'.

Even when I'm angry at you, you're still the only thing I can think of.

Astinus
13th July 2006, 12:07 PM
Funny how no one reviewed this.

While it was short, it doesn't need anything more added to it. I like the fact that Tracey's thoughts were so quick. You get the feeling at the start of how he feels. And then the last line was also good because it brings it all together.

*Behold the extremely short review.

Blackjack Gabbiani
13th July 2006, 1:21 PM
Thanks! A short review for a short fanfic, I suppose.

chrisivy
12th August 2006, 4:05 AM
Funny how no one reviewed this.

While it was short, it doesn't need anything more added to it. I like the fact that Tracey's thoughts were so quick. You get the feeling at the start of how he feels. And then the last line was also good because it brings it all together.

*Behold the extremely short review.

I agree Hanako Tabis. I can see why no one replyed to this. SHORT-my comment

Blackjack Gabbiani
12th August 2006, 6:30 AM
Uh-huh, but what did you think of it besides the shortness?

Jetx
12th August 2006, 7:46 PM
Yeah, it's too short. But apart from that, it was pretty good. I can't imagine Tracey thinking those things, and I don't know who the picture was of either. But then again I only rarely watch the anime.

So yeah, its good but not incredible.

Blackjack Gabbiani
13th August 2006, 2:58 AM
The woman in the picture is Delia Ketchum. You know how much time she and Oak spend together.

Literate
13th August 2006, 8:22 AM
Eh, shortness, shortness, why bother? It's just the quality that matters, really.

It was pretty good. It kind of...made me giggle inside a bit. eh, I like it when people ar ein trouble. It was like songs... Very rhymetic.

I say this was pretty good. You portrayed his feelings, nice and easy, and it wasn't complicated to not understand.

I really have no offence to those who have short one-shots, since...I wrote one. But, eh, this was pretty good in my opinion.

~Literate

UltaFlame
13th August 2006, 9:12 AM
agrees with everyone else. most people here only care about 'originality, description and length'! it drives me nuts sometimes. but then these show up! and the people don't review! its (n my opinion) because they are stunned that something 'short' fits the criteria...

anyway i liked this tracey is panicked! i don't know why but i seem to like fanfics where the main guy is in a serous panic in the end! really good!

Blackjack Gabbiani
13th August 2006, 10:06 AM
Yeah, short fics tend to be my specialty. When I wrote long fics, they really sucked.

UltaFlame
13th August 2006, 10:13 AM
whe i wrote fics in general they were put down! but i don't care! yeah i might try a short one shot maybe... probably not... i might though... but most likely not...[/rant-mode]

Jetx
13th August 2006, 10:57 AM
Yeah, short fics tend to be my specialty. When I wrote long fics, they really sucked.

Practise makes perfect. :)

Blackjack Gabbiani
13th August 2006, 11:21 AM
I suppose, but right now my longest fic is Obsession (see sig), and that's only 12 reasonably-lengthed chapters so far.

UltaFlame
13th August 2006, 11:22 AM
netter than what half of the people on these forums do... (as far as i have seen anyways) its better than what i did...

Blackjack Gabbiani
13th August 2006, 11:59 AM
Aww, shucks.

Pikki Zuka
14th August 2006, 8:39 AM
It breaks from contact with the couch? Or did Tracey grab it that hard?

The shortness makes it all the more powerful, I think. Nothing's ever going to convert me to Apprenticeshipping (I think that's the name), but I like the despair running through his head. My poor boy. ^^

Blackjack Gabbiani
14th August 2006, 9:21 AM
Well, he slammed it...yeah, I think I need to punch this up a bit.

Twixted Mind
11th January 2009, 4:18 AM
I remember seeing this on DeviantArt and thinking "Aww... Poor Tracey". Heck, it was because of your fics on DA that I started getting into angsty stories as well as funny ones. Now for the actual review: Well-written, as usual, and I do appreciate the slightly angsty/angry tone here. Even the slight Apprenticeshippy tone makes me happy.

And if you think you've seen my username before, yes, I am Twyxted Mind from ff.net; I'm also YomiB, the psychotic Tracey-fangirl half of Yomix2 on DA.

Blackjack Gabbiani
11th January 2009, 1:47 PM
Oh goodness. It's very strange that angst is my specialty because I'm a hilarious person IRL.

And awesome, howdy!

TurtwigFan1
11th January 2009, 2:53 PM
Ah, that's really nice. Short, but great and you can feel Tracey's emotion.

#Chimecho#
11th January 2009, 9:19 PM
It was short and had a good impact. But i feel if there was just a little more explaining you could have created a greater impact.

Otherwise it was good. Specially for its length