PDA

View Full Version : Pikachu



Flashfire
7th July 2006, 8:14 PM
This is called "Pikachu," because there is simply nothing else needed. The story is about Ash's Pikachu and the trails and tribulations of its life before it was caught. This shows some truths from the show that were never revealed. Just for the record, Pikachu has not garnered the ability to use electricity yet.

One character in this fic (insert Pokemon here), will be in my next Fanfic. You will see later on who that is.

Pikachu felt the rush of fear vibrating throughout it's small body, as it lunged forward and rolled down a hill. The brown lines on its back were barely visible as it progressed downward, and finally landed in a...hole?

The two men scanned the area with their eyes, and Pikachu didn't dare move a muscle. One man with curly brown locks of hair and a silver jumpsuit stared at the area where Pikachu was hiding, but clearly could not see the pointy yellow ears, since he shrugged and continued on, his Flareon traveling by his side. This pokemon, however, sniffed and turned back.

"What's that Fern? (Short for Inferno) You see somethin'?"

Pikachu knew better. No. It smelled something, something the mouse would rather it not smell. The rodent's singed fur. The smell was faint, but there. It still lingered slightly from that ember attack back in Fuschia.

Pikachu had waded through the waters of Cerulean, yet never caught sight of Misty when it passed her gym. From there, it had run to Vermilion. These men found it there, and wanted to catch it. They chased it all the way to Pallet, where it had traveled from to find its cousin reluctantly. Pikachu's cousin had always taunted him, poking fun at it for being the smallest in the entire family line. One day he went missing, and Pikachu's parents sent it off to find its cousin, as a way of 'bulking and toughening up'.

They both were convinced that a long, hard journey was all it needed. Instead it never found I(<-- this is an "i")llusen, the cousin it loathed, and ended up on the run from two crazed men with "R's" on their clothing. Illusen, he figured, must've just gone off to play and hadn't been back yet, but was forced to go search nontheless.

Now it was going to die. Right here, I am going to die, thought Pikachu, and suddenly...

"Get out of my hole," ordered a Sandshrew, as it poked its head out the ground next to him. Then the inhospitable Pokemon saw Flareon.

"Oh, I see. You're scared."

"I'm not scared," said Pikachu defiantly. Its ears shot up in surprise, when Flareon began to walk over to its current spot.

"Name's Claw. Listen kid, I'll help you out as long as you don't come around my hole anymore, and I-"

"I didn't mean to intrude," Pikachu cut in.

"Whatever Mousey, just make sure you get to safety. I've got a business to run. Y'know, digging for folks that can't dig, selling rocks, all that junk..."

"Wow, cool business. I really need help so...deal." Pikachu hated to say this, but it wasn't coming up with any better ideas, so what else was there to do? The Flareon was dead-set on finding and hurting him, and Pikachu was in no condition to fight an evolved Pokemon.

"Okay. See ya kid."

With that, the shrew jumped out of its hole, and walked in front of Flareon. "HEY HOTHEAD!"

The alert Pokemon glared at Claw suspiciously.

"Take this!"

A well-aimed Sand Attack startled Flareon, who used Ember in order to protect itself involuntarily. Claw ducked, and used Headbutt to knock the flaming sphere up into the sky. Next, it took off on a run to distract Flareon. The now blinded pursuer ran after the sound of small feet making a break for it.

Pikachu poked its head up from the hole, and through some low grass could make out the small figure of Claw leading Flareon away. The shiver of fright it finally admitted to feeling faded, as Flareon tripped over an unseen rock and fell into a lake.

Claw left the scene instantly, probably off to continue his business with clients, Pikachu figured. The man Pikachu had come to know as Steve ran after Flareon, not expecting this kind of thing to occur.

The second man spotted the brown-ended tail of Pikachu as it rushed in the direction it thought was where it lived. Instead, Pikachu fell into a ditch, which had obviously been placed here for it to fall into.

"Geodude now, attack!"

As the dazed Pokemon stood, it noticed a chunk of the ground lift itself. What was going on? Then it realized a Geodude was coming at it! Pikachu shrieked in shock. He jumped over Geodude, and managed to gain a few feet of seperation from the foe.

"You aren't gettin' out of here pal," the rock creature threatened, and lurched at Pikachu again, this time with its arm out in a punching motion. A Mega Punch, thought Pikachu, moving his head to the side to dodge, and got an idea. It would be risky, but he knew he had to try.

First, Pikachu lashed out at the Pokemon with scratch to make Geodude angry. It worked perfectly. The determined yellow paws raked at Geodude's arm, causing it to move back.

"Hey! What kind of weak move was that?" Before Pikachu knew it, Geodude was in his face.

The rocky hand clasped itself onto Pikachu's foot, and Geodude began to spin. After several seconds of dizzying spinning, it threw Pikachu at the high walls of the deep ditch.

"Gotcha," Pikachu said, eyes now opening, and flipped, causing his tail to meet the wall at the tip, and he began to jump from either side of the wall, progressing closer to the top with each leap. "Agility," he told himself softly, and zigzagged upward in strange patterns, until he reached the top.

When he did, the unexpected happened. Pikachu's left paw slipped, and he was left hanging by one paw on the edge of the ditch's rim. "N-n-no..." Pikachu stuttered, and let out a grunt of anguish as a rock landed on his back, shattering to bits.

"I already said you won't leave," shouted the Geodude, laughing to himself, and tossed another chunk of earthy mass, then another. Pikachu grimaced as two more rocks cracked when they hit him.

"But you forgot one thing Geodude," Pikachu managed to say, as his opponent threw another rock. The rock had not been thrown far, and fell back down.

"What?" asked the Geodude, as it tossed the rock once more, this time harder. Pikachu smirked.

"I'm crafty," he boasted, and let go of the edge. The rock slammed into his feet, and from there he pushed off, landing outside the ditch on the grass.

"Get back here you," yelled the Geodude.

Just then, the second man, Brad, appeared in front of Pikachu. How could this be happening?

Pikachu did nothing to deserve being hunted down and caught. Even after escaping a foe, another had taken their place. When would this madness end?

Finally, Pikachu felt powerful. How could all this unseen energy lie dormant for so long? The anger bubbling inside it was unleashed, and it electrified Brad with every ounce of emotion it could muster.

Now, drained of all the frustration and panic, Pikachu could think. Brad staggered backwards, and fainted. What'll be my next move? Pikachu asked itself.

Then a thought came to him. His acorn!

Every year, Pikachu would place an acorn near his home, just in case he forgot where his family's home was. That was definitely the case at the moment. Now where was that acorn...?

Pikachu started off on a mad dash through some bushes and tall grass, and nearly bumped into five baby Psyduck following their mother Golduck. He could see the acorn barely, in the distance, in between them as they walked. Pikachu tapped its foot impatiently, and when he looked back he noticed red tufts of fur swaying in the wind.

Steve was leading Flareon in his direction! Pikachu felt sweat begin to rapidly form on its head.

"Could you hurry it up?" Pikachu asked, a cry of desperation easily heard in his voice. The plea was of no use. The Psyduck all seemed insulted, and if he wasn't mistaken, walked SLOWER than normal to annoy him.

Pikachu looked back and saw Flareon was no more than ten feet from him. He grumbled something, and began to shove. The mix of yellow and orange paws was not what he needed. The Psyduck were attacking him with fury swipes. Orange claws slashed his stomach, and Pikachu closed it eyes, telling the family, "I'm sorry."

That said, the rodent grudgingly let loose its newfound power on the Psyduck and their mother. As he looked at the now dazed Pokemon, he heard a splash. He didn't need to turn around to know what it was.

"Get away," the voice of a male Golduck commanded, and a crackling noise rang in Pikachu's ears. How far could that be? Ten...fifteen feet?

The two attacks rushed at Pikachu. The Mother Golduck had protectively fired a water gun attack at him. An Ice Beam from the Father closed in on him. A tackle attack from two feet away could be heard. Pikachu grinned, and jumped into the air.

Flareon ran forward, getting crushed on two sides by the force of both attacks. The fire Pokemon landed on the other side of the river, eyes closed, as the double-assault had been too much for it.
Pikachu flipped in mid-air, angling its landing at the area Flareon had stopped at. It successfully landed next to its pursuer, and ran past, in order to get home before Steve arrived. No such luck.

"Venomoth, attack with Poison Sting!" A metal ball hit the ground, opening to release a deadly Venomoth. Pikachu picked up the pace, nearly getting hit by a poisonous needle.

"I must stop you young one," said the Venomoth, and fired multiple needles at Pikachu. The dangerous sharp objects were dodged, each time only a half-centimeter from Pikachu.

"You have forced me to go this far," the Pokemon warned Pikachu, knocking it to the ground with gust. Now Pikachu's eyes showed fear and lost hope. There was absolutely no more will left in it. Why fight? It would never get home now. A Venomoth surpassed its strength greatly, yet he did have a flaw in his type disadvantage area.

Pikachu panted, forcing itself to stand. There just might be enough brawn left in it to pull out a win. He just had to try, and maybe everything would be all right.

Yami Ryu
7th July 2006, 8:27 PM
Pikachu has not garnered the ability to use electricity yet.

So no Thundershock? Then how is it supposed to attack? With growl and tail whip? Or is it going to have Tackle and Bite?

Anyways....


The two men scanned the area with their eyes, and Pikachu didn't dare move a muscle. One man with curly brown locks of hair and a silver jumpsuit stared at the area where Pikachu was hiding, but clearly could not see the pointy yellow ears, since he shrugged and continued on, his Flareon traveling by his side. This pokemon, however, sniffed and turned back.

Why describe one man and not the other? And if he couldn't see such a blatant sign that a pikachu was hiding, I would suspect he wouldn't be in the buisness of pokemon catching. And why didn't he think in the first place to have Flareon track the Pikachu's scent?


"What's that Fern? (Short for Inferno) You see somethin'?"

If 'Fern' is short for 'Inferno' why not just call him/her by Inferno, or have the man so something akin to: 'The man glanced down with a frown as he saw the Flareon was no longer by his side but a few feet back, sniffing at the air. "What's wrong Fern?" He asked, using the shorter nickname of hers/his, "You smell something boy/girl?"'

And if Pikachu can't use electric attacks, how does it know agility? :/

Eh overall it's at your same standard as the rest of the stories you've done. But maybe you could poke about to flush some things out, make other things flow more smoothly and what I've already told you over and over :/

Flashfire
7th July 2006, 9:19 PM
*Sigh* Do you like, target my fics specifically?


Quote:
Pikachu has not garnered the ability to use electricity yet.


So no Thundershock? Then how is it supposed to attack? With growl and tail whip? Or is it going to have Tackle and Bite?

READ THE FIC. Anyways....



Quote:
The two men scanned the area with their eyes, and Pikachu didn't dare move a muscle. One man with curly brown locks of hair and a silver jumpsuit stared at the area where Pikachu was hiding, but clearly could not see the pointy yellow ears, since he shrugged and continued on, his Flareon traveling by his side. This pokemon, however, sniffed and turned back.


Why describe one man and not the other? And if he couldn't see such a blatant sign that a pikachu was hiding, I would suspect he wouldn't be in the buisness of pokemon catching. And why didn't he think in the first place to have Flareon track the Pikachu's scent?

I will describe Brad. He will be back and I plan on talking about his character and image then. DANG, I had to give away something I didn't wanna reveal because of all this...*SIGH!*

Steve, as you will see later on is like a "duh" character. He's a freaking airhead! He is only smart when it comes to battling and training, and on a few rare occasions, not only that. Flareon was already tracking Pikachu's scent, which was slightly masked by the Sandshrew's scent, which is why it took a while.


Quote:
"What's that Fern? (Short for Inferno) You see somethin'?"


If 'Fern' is short for 'Inferno' why not just call him/her by Inferno, or have the man so something akin to: 'The man glanced down with a frown as he saw the Flareon was no longer by his side but a few feet back, sniffing at the air. "What's wrong Fern?" He asked, using the shorter nickname of hers/his, "You smell something boy/girl?"'

This is clearly a writing preference on your part. It could be written a number of ways.


And if Pikachu can't use electric attacks, how does it know agility? :/

By this I meant, and admittedly should've mentioned, that it has the ability, but just hasn't learned how to call upon it yet. Pikachu's emotions bring that out.


Eh overall it's at your same standard as the rest of the stories you've done. But maybe you could poke about to flush some things out, make other things flow more smoothly and what I've already told you over and over :/

I know what it is. My writing style will never appeal to you even if I get really good. Don't waste time reading my 'same standard' fics just to criticize(review harsh and truthful-ly) them. Move on please, if I just can't seem to get it.

Jonouchi
7th July 2006, 9:38 PM
I found this story, alright. Not the best, but still, it was alright.

Description could have been done better, but you have room to improve.

I'll wait for the next chapter