View Full Version : Luka the Aipom Catcher Last... (Final???)

9th July 2006, 6:26 AM
Chapter ?… Luka the Pokemon Catcher….;026;
What’s the big deal?

I hear noises. Just plain irritating noises of the night, except the grasshoppers and frogs that always sing their duets during dawn. I heard sirens, people running through the hallways, screaming, and sometimes crying.

“Is he alright?”

I hear a mother’s voice shivering in fear. Then I realize my eyes wide open. The lights are off in this room. And the door of my room is shut tight. I trapped.

But I know it’s not true. This door is closed on purpose. It’s hiding the true secret of ‘Hope’. Why didn’t I realize that? I wonder and then hear someone approaching my door silently. Rubber black boots squeak on the slippery white plastic floor clover.

“Madam Maguire?” I whisper in silence. I begin shivering, and then I wonder about my pokemon.

The door opens with a small, “Creak~!”

And there, in at the door was an old woman. Her gray hair was braded nicely and her black cloak was covering her body. How mysterious she was, that old woman. And she called out to me with a hoarse voice.

“Hello Luka, did you remember me?” Madam Maguire said.

“I don’t.” I lied at smirked. Madam Maguire deserved to be treated unkindly; it’s her fault to make me be this way. I hated her with all my heart. I glared at her with disgust trying to get up from my bed. I’m hospitalized; it was hard for me to get up.

“And again you pick that tone with me, why are you angry when I brought your parents over here?” Madam Maguire said crossing her arms.
“My head hurts.” I moaned then I turned in the bed and dug my head into my pillow.
“Get used to the pain. You’ll get it often if you keep on jumping in front of your pokemon and forfeiting a battle.” She snapped.

So my parents came to visit me, what next the Navy? Now it seemed like the world was passing through my hands, rolling away from me, leaving me behind. I hated that too. But now what I’m I supposed to do? I want to get better; I want to beat Madam Maguire. I had dreamed of that, I had dreamed of becoming a pokemon catcher and travel the world. But now, I thought that is now gonna change. No matter how much I try to catch an Aipom, I’ll never catch one. And I know it, I’ve tried enough.

It’s time for change. And I can do it alone. I’m dumb, I know I’m weak. I’m weak as a Geodude being attacked by a Kyogre. I’m a scary Meowth. I need the confidence to battle! I’ll stop being a lazy couch potato. And I’ll get out there and travel with my pokemon maybe even battle that Pokemon Master, Logan.

Logan is the strongest Pokemon Master now, in Johto. He battled around the world three times and traveled to catch so many cool pokemon. He has to be my hero if I change my mind of being a Pokemon Catcher to a Pokemon Trainer. I’ll kick butt. I’ll beat the other powerful trainer, Ash too. But wait…

“Luka, I was so worried! When I heard you got hit by that evil Raichu, I came rushing towards here as quickly as I could!”

A lady about 30 or 35 came right into my room where I laid hospitalized. The lady had nice wavy dark blue hair and a matching jersey outfit. She was a Pokemon Trainer, but now, she is my Mom. A weird mom…

“Hi mom, how is everything?” I asked waving at her weakly.

“Oh~! Your father, he’s training at Kanto again. And he said he won’t come back for a while, because he caught a shiny pokemon. I think I was the pokemon called Bayleef…”
My mom said in a rush. Apparently my mother was training at the gym next door. She was all sweating and tired.

“Training Mom?” I asked.

She nodded and then glanced at madam Maguire who was staring at me in a gloomy way.
Madam Maguire then started to introduce herself to my mother and then began to talk about my battle with Madam Maguire’s Raichu. (I’m so embarrassed-Lame battle.)
Then my mother laughed right after Madam Maguire said, “Luka threw himself in front of that Krabby…”

“Luka, I didn’t know you were a dumb trainer. You treat your pokemon like their library books. You never try to get to know them. Just like my Milotic.” My mom laughed and then calmed down.

“Anyway, I was so embarrassed that I had to get sent here. And look mom, the stitches! They hurt!” I showed her my elbow and my forehead. They were both also wrapped with bandages. And after three days or so they change the bandages and then put this antidote on them. My injury was serious, just because of one critical hit! That dumb Raichu, I hate it! And that powerful Iron Tail… (OW~! My head, **** it!)

“Mom, Old Woman, give me some alone time. I feel like I want to barf.” I said and shoed them away from me. Madam Maguire closed her eyes and snickered as she just walked out of the door. My moms pat my head and then smiled. She then knelt down toward my head and kissed my hand.

“I’m glad you’re ok. If you died, I don’t know what I would do.” She blushed and then chuckled. I felt like I wanted to cry right after she told me that. What if I died? Why did she say that? Then I closed my eyes and heard her walk away and close the door.

And that night I thought, for mom. Just for mom, I’ll become that trainer she wished me to be. I remember those tough training tests you gave me when we trained your Milotic…
I remember when we trained Dad’s Zigzagoon when dad was away in the Orange Islands.
I remember the time we made our lunch together. And the time you helped me solve my problems with my friends. You did a lot for me and I have to really thank you. Because of you I was born Mom. Have you ever thought of that when you were being raise by your parents?

This memory plays over and over again in my head when I think about you Mom.
And I know it’s embarrassing to think about the past and talk about it. But I would love to talk about my past with you. You listen, mom. You listen to all my stories and problems. I want to thank you a lot. And I’ll be a pokemon trainer if I have the confidence. Some how you gave me the boost to be one. And I know you’re counting on me…

I won’t let you down, mom. Even though I’m a weak Aipom Catcher now…

This is the end of chapter 4 and probably the end of the whole story… Here, if it makes you curious, this is what I’ll be working on…
One shot fics! You’ll see me soon! I, chrisivy, will start some thing that has to do with Espeons! And I’ll improve!!!!!!! I might continue this though…. (Bye Luka… Aipom Freak.) See ya! Bye, readers! Thanks for everything.

Yami Ryu
9th July 2006, 6:39 AM
OMG THE RULES (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=96993)
OMG THE ADVICE FOR AUTHORS (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19)

ok are you retarded or do you just love ignoring the hell out of people and pi*sing them off?

:/ and I am not surprised what I said about your last chapter can basically be applied here.

9th July 2006, 6:48 AM
I'm sorry. This Luka story is over, and i realized I can't be a writer at all. I know your angry with me.

Haruhi Suzumiya
9th July 2006, 7:00 AM
I didn't like it. You should try harder. I was disappointed, but there still is potential. Expand and try fabricating new ideas. Read the rules. Don't become a quitter simply because of your own lack of confidence. It's pathetic, and you should learn how to fix your own mistakes and regain composture in the writing area.

I wish you luck.

Yami Ryu
9th July 2006, 7:02 AM
As Haruhi pointed out, that is pathetic. Just because you won't try to improve and read the damn rules and advice to get better: you're quiting. Just because you don't want to break a sweat over something. You're quiting.

And how do I know you didn't read either thread?

Chapters: These are kept in ONE thread and the recommended for these is about 3 Word pages which in turn encourages good formatting so nobody gets blinded by the blocks of text some people happily produce. You will be taken more on content but you can have the longest chapter on record but if the content is bashing somebody, out of the ratings, bad grammar to the blocks of ext or sprite ridden you will received a warning and closure if the fic is not sorted.

:/ I bet your teachers must love an ignorant quiter like you.