View Full Version : Peridot: The Ways of the Deep

14th July 2006, 11:29 AM
Hey everyone ^_^, this is my first fan fic and I decided to write one. This one is retelling the story Colosseum and Gale of Darkness. Here we go!

Rating: Probably PG as the story comes in..


It started out as a dream, a fantasy that merely doesn't exist, they were called Shadow Pokemon, their purpose, nobody knew.

[10 years ago]
Rika was running under her breath her raven hair swift brushed beside her in her struggle, her venue, the Orre region. The cascading rain was all over her body, you could blankily see that she was adhering to something, these discs. They were shadow logs, her findings were complete.

She was delegated over to a small sepia cabin, with numerous logs losing their color, possibly of the prevalent times of rain. As the raven hair women opened the door, a shadowed figure was standing in the darkest light. "Have you got them" said the slick voice of the figure.

"Yes mistress" Rika said in her brooding english accent." There was silence for a moment "Good, I knew I could count on you" the outline said. "The production will start as soon as it's ready, then, we will strike!" the audible form voiced.

Peridot struck her glance to the television, seeing all these so called "pokemon" battles. She watched as the Salamence used a Dragon Claw to finish off the wounded Starmie. "I wish I could do that" the eight year old hastily said.

"Peeeeriiii" a voice said from out back "I got a surprise for you" the voice said in a operatic tone. A honey haired teenager or at least that was how she looked.

The little girl's cerulean eyes curbed to her mom she opened her mouth to speak but the honey hair adult took her by her ebony fingerless gloves and tried hard to shove Peridot to her destination, the Pokemon HQ Lab. As Greta shoved Peridot though the forests of Orre, Peri queerly asked, "Where are we going? Is this another dance for the Can-Can?".

"Hey you silly goose, you know I only do the Can-Can on Mondays and Wednesdays" the former arena captain said with a smile, "Anyways, we need to go fast!" and Greta speeded up the process by carrying Peridot. "Hey! Mom let go of me, you know there are people here!", she never liked her mom's silly antics and was always embarrassed.

The two arrived at a metallic building, "I guess this is it!" the blonde said happily. "Come On!" as she invited the little girl inside. "When the girl speed through the doors she was greeted by a bundle of people, each in their own labcoats.

"Welcome Peri! Proffessor Krane was waiting for you!" a sandy haired lady said as she led her to a room there inside, was her mom and a mahogany haired man. "Ahhh, so you're Peridot, I've been waiting for you" the guy said. "Peri, this is Proffessor Krane, this is the surprise I've been telling you about". Peri gasped "You love Proffessor Krane, I'm telling dad!" the pale girl said.

"No, no, you're getting your first pokemon!". "What? I'm to young to be a trainer, I'm only eight!" the girl said. Proffessor Krane spoke up, "I can explain" the guilty proffessor said.

"You've heard of Cipher, right?". "Yeah, they're those creeps that distributed shadow pokemon, two times!". "Well, they have struck again, only after five years".

"We looked for potential trainers but around here, we couldn't trust anyone, so we picked the arena captain's daughter, you. We can definately trust you with your mom's position." the guy replied. The proffessor pulled out a pokeball, "Here", this is now yours Krane said.

Peridot stared at the crimson and silver pokeball, it's metallic cover shined in the light. "Whoops" Peridot said as she dropped the pokeball. A scarlett light shined from the pokeball and out came, a Totodile, it's teal skin and sharp teeth refined to the little girl.

The new Totodile was full of energy as it jumped into Peri's quivering arms dancing happily, "I guess you're okay", Peridot smiled a bit pulling back her amber hair from her face.

"Wait!" the professor said as Peridot started to leave the lab, "You forgot your mission!"

"My mission?" Peri stopped with a questionable quote as she started going back to Krane.

"Well your mission is, to stop Cipher distributing shadow pokemon". He turned to his aide "Henry prepare the Snag Machine." the proffessor said as the aide ran into the room with some noise in his step.

"Snag Machine?" Peridot thought, she heard that name before. As the aide brought out a silver machine, which could fit around anyone's arm.

"This is a Snag Machine, you will catch shadow pokemon you see with this, an Aura Reader. Shadow pokemon have black auras around them and you'll find out with this. Also, since you're a trainer you need a P*DA and these. In his hand were pokeballs of the same color scheme of scarlett and silver.

As she walked out of the building, the cerualean pokemon on her back, she asked to her "I should give you a name" the Totodile jumped at Peri's idea. But after many names, the pokemon didn't agree, "What about Corale" the girl asked. She jumped at the name "Toto!", "Well I guess you're Corale." Peridot smiled, her dream is coming true, but Cipher had to be defeated.

End of Prologue

Sorry it's pretty short, but I sort of have writer’s block, anyways feedback is appreciated and have fun, the next chapter is coming soon! Please help with any grammer mistakes. The next chapter will probably come soon.

Yami Ryu
14th July 2006, 12:40 PM
This one is similar to Colosseum and Gale of Darkness.

Or you mean, actually, a retelling? Because there's no other reason as to why Cipher would be back- I mean Michale mopped up the last resistance of Cipher, and Team Snaggem basically turned good- or atleast not into the shadow monster buisness anymore.

"Wait!" the professor exclaimed to Peridot as she started to leave, "You forgot your mission!" Krane finished once Peridot had stopped to listen to him.

"My mission?" Peri questioned the professor as she started to walk back to him, clearly confused as to what he meant.

"Well your mission is to stop Cipher from distributing shadow pokemon." He turned to his aide and said; "Henry, prepare the Snag Machine, quickly."

Your mission should you choose to accept it..

Anyways this is atleast how it should have been formatted. The edited parts was to make it flow more smoothely. And because I can't take bad acting, corny lines and worse grammar than cosplaying Captain Kirks.

I suggest you go read Advice for Aspiring Authors before you make a second chapter :/

14th July 2006, 1:35 PM
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it and will work to make my story better. And I edited some parts of the story with the advice.