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Jetx
16th July 2006, 11:05 PM
Here is my new script. I'll tell you what the characters look like later on, so you can think up your own looks for the two main characters.

WARNING: This is PG-13 for language.
__________________________________________________ ___________

Scene one: Bill is starting his adventure.

Mum: (soft) Wake up, Bill.
Bill: (turns off computer) I am awake…
Mum: Oh yeah, sorry. (Chuckles)
Bill: Why exactly did you just laugh? It wasn’t funny.
Mum: (enthusiastic) So where are you going on this fine morning, outside to play with your friends?
Bill: I’m going somewhere special. I’m going on my computer.
Mum: Listen, Bill. I want you to go on adventure; with your very own pokemon.
Bill: If you can give me a pokemon before my computer starts up then maybe I will.

Mum gets out a pokeball and throws it at Bill

Bill: Ow!
Mum: Sorry. (gets enthusiastic again) Go togepi!
Bill: Oh dear, my computer is on the desktop.
Mum: No it isn’t, don’t lie to me mister.
Bill: Mum, I have two things to say to you. Point A: I’m twelve, so I’m not really a mister. Point B: I don’t want a togepi.
Mum: Fine then, I’ll have it back. You can sit on your computer forever and grow fat for all I care.
Bill: (bored voice) Woohoo.
Mum: I’ll have to give Professor Oak his togepi back.
Bill: Mum, Professor Oak lives in Kanto. Kanto is one hundred miles away.
Mum: I know, and I walked all the way whilst you were sleeping.
Bill: Oh really? How long have I been sleeping?
Mum: Two weeks.
Bill: Yeah, right. (Looks at his watch) Holy crap!
Mum: Told you…
Bill: Mum, wait, before you walk back to Kanto, can I just quickly do something with togepi?
Mum: Sure (smiles and hands Bill his togepi)

Bill grabs togepi and throws it out of the window

Togepi: Yay! I’m a yolk!
Mum: (angry) Get out! Go on some bloody adventure and don’t come back! (Shoves Bill out of front door)
Bill: Ah, damn. I forgot my computer.

Bill walks towards a big building

Timmy: Hey there, I’m Timmy.
Bill: I know, it says that on the script.
Timmy: (confused) What?
Bill: Never mind… Get out of my way.
Timmy: You sound like a very negative person.
Bill: (sarcastic) I never knew!
Timmy: Didn’t you?
Bill: My God, you’re stupid.
Timmy: I’m going to get my very own pokemon. That’s what this queue is for. I’m going to get my very own pikachu.
Bill: Oh crud. I’m stuck. I don’t want my own pokemon. (Pushes forwards and back but is sandwiched between Timmy and some other excited children.)
Timmy: Hi there, I’m Timmy.
Bill: (very confused) what?!
Timmy: Ha, I’m very good at jokes, aren’t I?
Bill: Tell me that was rhetorical.
Timmy: What does rhetorical mean?
Bill: No! I can’t take this anymore (struggles but is still stuck)
Timmy: Yay, I’m up and I’m going to get my very own Pikachu!

Timmy runs into the lab. Bill tries to get away but is squashed against the lab door.

Bill: At least that stupid kid is gone (hears crying)

Timmy tries to open the door but Bill is crushed against it and it won’t open.

Bill: Stop crushing me! Ow…

Timmy smacks open door and the queue falls back like dominoes.

Timmy: (crying) Excuse me, Mister Person I Saw Earlier…
Bill: (sighing) Here we go again. I’m twelve, so I’m not really a mister. Also, my name is Bill.
Timmy: (still crying) He wouldn’t let me have a pikachu…
Bill: Ha! Loser!
Timmy: What?
Bill: I didn’t say anything.
Timmy: (still sobbing) I got a machop. But I hate machops…
Woman: You’re next.
Bill: No!

Woman pulls Bill into the lab and the person who was behind Bill got crushed onto lab door.

Birch: Welcome to my lab. I’m doing a test today; I’m trying to give people pokemon with similar personalities.
Bill: I’m not even meant to be in here, Professor. Goodbye.
Birch: Hmm… I’m judging you as a nice person…
Bill: (angry) What? Me, nice? You’re one pathetic Professor.
Birch: Now I’m thinking you’re a nasty person.
Bill: That’s much better. Good-bye.
Birch: Wait, I’ve got the perfect pokemon for you.
Bill: (intrigued) Really?
Birch: Yes, it’s a breloom.
Bill: I didn’t think brelooms were mean.
Birch: They’re not… But this one is…

Birch sends out breloom.

Bill: He’s giving me the evils already…
Woman: (whispers to Birch) They’re already friends.
Bill: Help, it’s punching me!
Birch: Another satisfied trainer.

The woman throws Bill out of the window.

Timmy: She’s doing that because the door is blocked.
Bill: (sarcastic) Wow.
Timmy: Want to battle?
Bill: No.
Timmy: Yay!
Bill: I said no.
Timmy: Oh…
Bill: I see what you mean, that place does give you very sucky pokemon.
Timmy: Can I travel with you?
Bill: Only if I can call you loser.
Timmy: Fine…
Bill: So where should we go?
Timmy: Let’s go to Oldale town.
Bill: What’s that?
Timmy: It’s the town right next to this one.
Bill: Rings no bells.
Timmy: That’s odd.
Bill: It’s probably because I spend most of my life on my computer.
Timmy: Well, it’s time to leave Littleroot once and for all…
Bill: Where’s Littleroot?
Timmy: You live in Littleroot.
Bill: Ah crud, I thought Timmy was meant to be the dumb one…

They walk away from Littleroot and don’t say anything to each other for ages. Eventually Bill sends out breloom.

Bill: I was bored…
Timmy: It’s giving me the evils.
Bill: Yeah, it does that.
Timmy: Ow, and now it’s punching me.
Bill: Yeah, it does that too.
Timmy: It’s stealing my pokeball!
Bill: Ooh, that’s a new one.
Timmy: My names Timmy, by the way.
Bill: Ugh…
Timmy: Ha, I’m good.
Bill: Never… Do that again.
Breloom: Here’s your pokeball, Timmy.
Timmy: Your pokemon looks like its trying to talk.
Breloom: Here’s your dammed pokeball, Timmy!
Timmy: Ha, it’s funny.
Bill: I never knew it did that either.
Breloom: HERE’S THE BLOODY POKEBALL!
Timmy: It keeps doing it. I wish I could hear what it was saying.
Breloom: YOU CAN HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING YOU STUPID PRATT!
Timmy: This is so funny. You’re lucky to have to have a pokemon that thinks it can talk.
Breloom: You asked for it…
Bill: I never knew it could do the thing its doing now either.
Timmy: What is doing now?
Bill: Aiming a punch for your balls.
Timmy: Oh crap.

Breloom wallops Timmy between the legs. Timmy falls on floor.

Bill: (laughing) You catch me up later, Loser.
Timmy: Ow…

Timmy sends out his machop.

Machop: Hey there, breloom.
Breloom: What the hell do you want?
Machop: I want to follow you.
Breloom: Only if I can call you loser.
Machop: Fine…
Breloom: Your owner is so annoying.
Machop: In what way?
Breloom: He pretended he couldn’t hear what I was saying…
Machop: That’s because humans can’t understand pokemon.
Breloom: What? I thought you were meant be the dumb one.
Guy up a tree: Darn. I missed the black haired kid. But this blonde haired one will suffer the wrath of my dreaded stink bomb. (maniacal laugh)
Breloom: Excuse me Timmy, but that man is about to drop a stink bomb on your head.
Timmy: Ha-ha, it thinks it can talk to me again.
Breloom: YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU STUPID FAT HOBBIT – I mean – HUMAN!
Machop: What’s a hobbit?
Breloom: You know, that demented thing said it from the lord of the rings.
Machop: So you read to calm yourself down?
Breloom: Yeah, but it never works.
Machop: Maybe you need anger management classes?
Breloom: ARE YOU SAYING THAT I GET ANGRY AND SHOUT EASILY?!
Machop: Well, yeah.
Breloom: You asked for it.
Machop: Wow, I never knew you did that before.
Breloom: It’s called aiming a punch for your balls.
Machop: Oh… crap.

Announcer: So that’s it of the first episode. Stay tuned for another great one.
Bill: Since when do we have an announcer?
Announcer: I don’t know – now piss off you stupid kid.

Yami Ryu
17th July 2006, 12:19 AM
... ok you know what I am damn sick and tired of crap scripts popping up. Just because they look easier to make, does not mean that you don't put effort into them. I suggest you go read a real script fic, by the likes of Flaming Ruby, Typhlogirl or Cheshire Cat, and see what they did right, and you did horibly wrong.

God.

RaZoR LeAf
17th July 2006, 12:25 AM
Uh.. yeah. Badly constructed scripts aren't allowed.