View Full Version : Fireheart

24th July 2006, 2:23 AM
Author’s Note/ Introduction
If you just want to read the Fanfic, then scroll down, and you’ll be there. =P
I’ve been working on this for a really long time. I hope someone enjoys it ^_^.

Fiction History
This originally started out with a single battle scene, and then I left it. I kept coming back and working on it, but I wasn’t sure what it would become yet. At first I wanted it to be a one-shot, but then I thought it would be better like this.

=Table of Contents=

1. The First Battle (in this post)
2. Showdown
3. Shadows


This story is rated PG. If anyone thinks the rating should be higher (for a good reason), then please tell me ^_^.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokemon.

Fireheart: One Last Chance

I look over the railing, sighing.

I remember this ship.

The last time, it was shining. It was new, and beautiful. But it’s been a long time since
I’ve seen it.

This thing is ready for the scrap heap. The deck is starting to fall apart.

The skyline of Vermilion is visible on the horizon. The buildings with orange-tinted roofs stand out vividly. It looks exactly like when I saw it the first time. A wave of memories sweeps over me. It’s like a dam has broken.

I’ve been trying to forget for so long…

I’ve lost so much…

I just want everything to go back.

I want to do everything over again.

The sun simmers over the city, sending waves of light over the water. Soon it will be night.

I just want one last chance…


I remember how it was that day. It was clouded over, and humid. I remember the tension hung over me like a blanket.

He was leaning on the railing, at the edge of the boat. I could tell that he was trying to look older than he was. Lounging next to him, mimicking him, was a wing-eared, brown-shelled, cloud-tailed Pokemon. It was a Wartortle.

He was wearing a cheap kind of plastic sunglasses, the kind you can get for something like five cents at the grocery store. He had a raggedy baseball cap on, with one of those faded sticker-images on it, it was peeling off. His T-Shirt was light blue, with a picture of a white-and-blue, masked legendary on it: Lugia. He would be pretty normal-looking except for his Pokemon.

These days, the Starter Pokemon aren’t that rare. There have been generations and generations of them. They bred, and the eggs were given away. Heck, there’s probably even some in the wild now.

But back then there weren’t. And you could always tell if it’s one of Professor Oak’s Pokemon. Especially if you had gotten one yourself.

“I got your Trainer Number,” he said “I saw that you got your Pokemon only a couple days before me. I’ve been trying to catch up to you all this time.”

He was probably my age. I remember looking at him, trying to see what’s special about him that he got a Starter, but failing. Maybe he’s doing the same thing to me. Well, I can’t help anyone there. I thought that I was winning the lottery when I got Brassica.

“And who would you be?” I asked. If he knew me, it was only fair that I got to know him.

“I’ll tell you, if you battle.” He took on an excited look.

I rolled my eyes, and dug out my Pokedex. It was no use though, because there were pages of trainers with Wartortles, and I didn’t have his number, so I could narrow down the list. I scowled, because I knew that I would be at a disadvantage. He knew my Pokemon, but I didn’t know his. Stupid Trainer Profiles.

“Let’s get this over with then.” I said, trying to sound like it was no big deal. I only wanted to fight so I could figure out who this guy was.

A grin slowly spread across his face.

“Go Kloud!” He said, pointing to the deck between us.

The Wartortle looked up, and then ran. It screeched to a stop, striking a ‘cool’ pose. I swear that it would be wearing sunglasses if it could.

We were both outside, where I had gone to get some fresh air. The party was stuffy inside, and filled with people laughing, and clinking glasses, with pretty Pokemon sitting on their shoulders. It made me want to choke.

“Brassica.” I said, throwing the expanded red-white sphere in my hand. It unleashed my first Pokemon.

There was a flash, and my Ivysaur appeared, facing the Wartortle. Brassica took up his confident stance, spreading apart his four feet. He has green-blue skin, with darker blue spots. On his back there was a plant, a tree-like thing with a pink bud. There was a bunch of leaves growing in a cluster around it.

“Kloud, use Water Gun!”

He wasn’t wasting any time.

The turtle jumped up in the air, and shot a jet of water from its mouth. It sprayed all over Brassica, without much effect. In fact, it might have helped because of Brassica’s plant type.

“You’re pathetic. Vine Whip.” I knew I had the type advantage.

Two green snake-like vines shot out of the plant on Brassica’s back. They wrapped around the Wartortle, and hurled it away.


Kloud jerked itself inside its shell right before impact on the deck. The Wartortle skidded, making several people step back. There was a growing crowd gathering around us. I was starting to have a bad feeling about this battle…

I swear that there was a small crater where that Wartortle hit the ground.

“Leech Seed.” I said lamely.

A bunch of small, brown, seeds shot with speed at the shell. Several of them landed on the Wartortle’s back, and started to grow.

The other kid just smirked.

The shell started whirling, with rapid speed. The seedlings flew off, and landed some distance away. The trainer and Pokemon had obviously worked on this technique before.

“Now, use Mega Punch!”

The blue turtle emerged from its shell, and jumped up high in the air. It rushed downwards towards Brassica, with its claw clenched into a fist. The two Pokemon impacted with a loud ‘whump’ sound. Kloud was thrown back by the force, onto the back of its shell. Brassica stood steadily, but it was obvious that some damage had been dealt.

“Vine Whip!” I yelled, scowling. I wanted to finish this.

The vines shot out again, but Wartortle just withdrew. The attack had still hit, though most of the damage seemed to have been blocked. The crowd was cheering and making a horrible noise. It was only a matter of time before security, or someone else showed up. I could see a few fancily dressed people standing on the deck with annoyed looks on their faces.

I thought for a second. This battle needed to be over fast, but it was obvious that Kloud could dodge most of my attacks with Withdraw. I could still chip away at it, inside the shell, but it would take forever to faint. The best thing I could think of was to catch it off guard before it could get into that shell.

While I was thinking this, my side of the battle was on auto-pilot. Brassica was battling on his own, and not doing so badly. However, Kloud had managed to land a few more Mega Punches, and neither Pokemon was looking too good.

The crowd was screaming, and it seemed like the whole party had been taken out onto the deck by now. My head was starting to hurt. I was wondering why people were so interested. Maybe they had figured out we were two of the trainers from Pallet.

The other trainer seemed to be enjoying the crowd though.

I hated attention. I would’ve given almost anything for this battle to be over. But it looked like I wouldn’t have to. I would end this and then maybe I had a chance of getting off of this ship without being arrested.

Before the other kid could yell out any provocations, I was back in the battle again.

“Use Leech Seed, Brassica! Try to hit the legs!”

Amazingly, my Ivysaur heard me over the noise. He sprayed out seeds from his bulb towards Kloud. Since the two Pokemon were standing near each other, most of them hit.

Immediately, like before, they started growing. In a few moments the turtle was completely swathed in vines. It looked like they had taken root into the deck, so Kloud wasn’t going into its shell anytime soon.

Meanwhile, Brassica was becoming stronger from the energy the Leech Seed took. It looked like there was no way Wartortle was getting out of this situation. Even if I just left the battle without attacking again, I would win.

I took in a breath, getting ready to shout out the last command. The other kid was yelling out support to Kloud, trying to get it to break free.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure push its way through the crowd surrounding us. I turned around. What I saw made me immediately forget about the battle at hand.

For a moment I thought it was human, but it was much more terrible. Muscles seemed to bulge out of everywhere on its body. It had four arms, and its skin was a blue-green color. Something like half-discs seemed to stick out of its head.

Even though I took in all of these details, the creature, which I had identified as a Pokemon, stood still for only a moment. It lunged towards my battle, where Brassica had taken things into his own hands, and was trying to finish off Wartortle. Kloud was still trying to break free of the Leech Seed, and the kid was trying to run from the scene. However, the crowd around us was so thick, that he was just pushed back.

The four-armed Pokemon ripped Wartortle off of the ground with a loud tearing noise. Part of the deck came with it. With the other hand, it stopped Brassica’s charge. Both me and the kid were grabbed by the arm in a vice-like grip, and dragged in, so we couldn’t run. I felt my circulation cutting off.

The bloodthirsty crowd was mostly booing, but in the back a few rich people turned up their noses and went back inside the cabin. It was still extremely crowded on the deck, though. These people were probably also trainers.

With a sickening feeling, I looked around, and knew that things were starting to get serious. My parents would never let me out of the house again when they heard about this.

There was, indeed a small dent on the battleground where Kloud had landed when it had first Withdrawn. And also black skid marks. Brassica had dug his claws into some planks, splintering them. There was a hole where the plants had pulled up part of the wood. Some of the Leech Seed was still growing.

My Pokemon dreams were over.

“Out of the way, out of the way!”

Now some humans were coming in to take charge.

“The show’s over!”

The muttering crowd began to slowly dissipate. Soon two men and we were almost alone on the deck. Even though they weren’t wearing uniforms I could guess that they were in control of the Machamp, and the security. One of them was surveying the damage.

“Don’t you kids know that this is a multi-million dollar ship?! How the hell did you get invitations to this party?!” the other one yelled at us.

“Don’t look at me!” answered the other kid, “She challenged me!”

I snarled. I couldn’t figure out how such a punk had gotten hold of one of the coveted Starter Pokemon.

“He gate-crashed!” I shouted, trying for a bigger charge. It was probably true though, by the way the kid stiffened. He was trying to break out of the muscular Pokemon’s grip. Kloud was still held in the air, biting the Machamp’s hand. Some of the plants were still hanging onto it. A few fell off onto the deck as I looked. Even though Brassica wasn’t being restrained, he stood loyally by me.

“How much is the damage?” I asked anxiously.

The guard didn’t answer; he was calling someone on his walkie-talkie. The other man had disappeared. He was probably securing our places in prison. I wondered if I should try to make a break for it too.

And then another person stepped in.

The first time I saw him, my breath was swept away. He was wearing mirrored shades, and not that crummy kind the other kid had left broken on the deck, and a tuxedo. It seemed to almost glow with expensive-ness. His hair was dyed some strange color, I can’t remember what, maybe green. He was wearing a belt with six Pokeballs on it. This was obvious a trainer.

The other kid stopped struggling, and looked too. Like everything else, Kloud mimicked what he did. I had ceased to even think of him as a trainer.

“Don’t worry,” the fancily dressed man said, “I’ll take care of this.”

The security personnel had stopped talking at the sight of this high-priority guest. The three of us, and Machamp were now alone on the deck. The crowd was long gone.

“I’ll pay for all of this.” The man told him, more clearly.

The guard nodded. He seemed to immediately take reassurance at these words, and turned towards us.

“Return your Pokemon.” He snarled.

I didn’t waste any time. The Machamp released its hold, and Brassica went back into his Pokeball. The other kid did the same, but as soon as he was done, he bolted away. I couldn’t feel my arm. It was numb. But I felt disgust at that other kid. I wish I had gotten his name, so I could report him to the authorities.

“I’ll tell Bill.” The guard returned the Machamp, and started walking in the opposite direction. I was left alone on the deck with the strange man.

“T-t-thank you,” I stuttered, probably not loudly enough to hear. I felt like I should say something. I suddenly felt awkward, in a way I hadn’t since my school days. This guy looked famous. I was embarrassed that I didn’t know who he was.

Somewhere on the ship, a horn blew.

“You better get off;” the man said quietly, “The S.S.Anne is leaving soon.”

And then he turned and walked off in the direction of the party. Voices floated out to meet him.

Even though I had a ticket to go on the dinner-cruise around the harbor, I didn’t feel like it anymore. I took one last glance at the battle-ground, and got the hell out of there.


Later, my dad asked me what I thought of the night on the cruise ship. He was the one who had bought the ticket, so I told him it was awesome. I had slept on a couch in the Vermilion Pokemon Center that night.


Often times afterward, I wonder why Raphael saved us that first time. Maybe we reminded him of himself, in his fighting days.


Alright, I personally hate these Author notes at the end of the chapter, I think it ruins the effect, but I guess now I'm being a hypocrite >.>
Thank you, honored reader, for reading this far.
If you review I'll dedicate a shrine to you =)
I have one other chapter written, but I'll wait for comments so I can improve it.

24th July 2006, 4:43 AM
Dang way to much description. Just kidding, but good story so far
maybe that should be my catch phrase i will be back when you post another chaper

25th July 2006, 10:37 PM
Thank you kindly for the review.
*tips hat*
Anyways, I think I might need to touch up some of those sentences so they're not so bulky, now that you mention it.
I also decided to completely overhaul Chapter 2, because it wasn't really going anywhere >.>
I might also wait for a time when there's not so many new fics on the first page so people might notice this one more.
But thank you to the 40-something people who looked at this thread =)

26th July 2006, 11:34 AM
Too much description my arse, believe me, theres a perfect amount, no need to alter it, I can assure you.

Well, it saddens me to see that people never hesitate to tear into a fic that is quite basically poor, which earns the author of that fic two pages of reviews before he can even post the next chapter, when there are really, really decent fics out there, that people just don't bother with because they can't be arsed to praise someone on a good job.

Well I'll do it. Bloody good job.

I loved it, this first chapter, and you have definately succeeded in roping me in to read the next. As I said, it really is a shame to see that only one person has replied, but believe me there will be more. I'll stick with you until then.

Anyway, one thing I must compliment you on is your writing skill. Your description, vocabulary, grammar and flow are all great, and you certainly have a skill for writing that is apparent in this chapter.

There were a few off-bits that I feel I should mention, such as

He has green-blue skin, with darker blue spots. On his back there was a plant, a tree-like thing with a pink bud. There was a bunch of leaves growing in a cluster around it.

This description for an Ivysaur is so common and, well, a little tacky. Words such as 'tree-like thing' and 'a bunch of leaves'. 'Darker blue spots' was also a bit vague. I can tell describing this Pokemon was difficult, and I can only praise you for actually describing it instead of giving up, or making one of those threads asking how to describe something. You can only learn from your mistakes.

So I reccomend perhaps incorperating the difficulty in explaining the Ivysaur into the descripiton itself, so say something like, 'it was an odd-looking little creature, with a plant-like growth resembling a stumpy tree budding from it's rather horizontal back. And its skin was of a rare blue-green hue...' and so on. That way, if there are any little bits in the descripiton that are a little off, the fact that you've said he was odd - and therefore difficult to describe - makes it less apparent. Ivysaur is a very odd Pokemon, after all, at least in my opinion >.>...

ANYWAYS, the battle was good, intense with interesting tactics and twists. Tension was certainly present as well, what with the crowds and constant referral to the security and how they'd be approaching, and probably arrest the Trainers. You succeeded in creating excitement, thats for sure.

Not only that, but it was an original beginning. Belive me, you'll get a lot of brownie points for that. Whether future reviewers mention it or not, the fact that this introduction was different from most other stories that involve 'starters' is a great positive point about this.

The characters were awesome, by the way. Just the small things, such as the tacky glasses, the urge to battle even though they both know its illegal really add to the characters, and really makes them unique. It usually takes a few chapters for a character to become completely distinct, but you've made each one unique already, which is great.

Oh, by the way, before I forget,

loud ‘whump’ sound

I just loved that onomatopoeia for some reason XD.

So fantastic job here, you've made a great start to a very intriguing story. I hope you get this next chapter up soon, I'll be looking forward to it. Good luck.