View Full Version : Whisper in the Wind

24th July 2006, 11:09 AM
My first poem in a long time. Might've rusted but I hope it still comes out good.


Whisper in the Wind

The wind whips through the empty street
Blowing away all the signs of past events
From a man's first kiss
To the brawler's bleeding head
All gone
Preparing for a new beginning.

The wind whispers with its soft and gentle voice
That you are gone
You will never come back to me
I must prepare
To start my life anew.

The wind whispers
That you were never what I needed
That you would never have loved me back
But I refuse.

And I run away from the voice of the wind
But wherever I go,
It follows me,
Rubbing it into me
That you are gone
And I must live alone.

24th July 2006, 10:43 PM
Nice. I almost feel like I feel a nice cool wind about me right now (which would be nice since its been so hot the past few days).

I feel like I got into the poem quite a bit considering it being simply a nice, concise poem. Good job.

The Great Butler
25th July 2006, 1:12 AM
I just saw Mewtwo Returns, and this feels to me like it would fit the ending where Mewtwo stands atop the building.

Well done.

25th July 2006, 1:12 AM
Well first poetry I've read in a long time and I like it. Well good job.

25th July 2006, 1:19 AM
I liked it. It really had an airy feel, if that makes any sense, without sanding labored with lots of swishing and whispering sounds. The only thing that bugs me is the third to last line. I can't say why, but the word rubbing seems to deviate from the theme of the rest of the poem. Other than that, it was great.

25th July 2006, 2:31 AM
Yea, I was kinda bothered by putting the word 'rubbing' in there, but glad you guys liked it.