View Full Version : This Is Your Life, Your Story

2nd August 2006, 12:39 PM
I am writing a story whichfeatures pokemon. What do you think of it? Help me make it better.


In unheard-of distant lands, trapped in the centre of nothing, like a lost child in an empty park, is the continent of Olayha. Being smothered in forests, mountains and the like, and imprisoned by uncountable aggressive whirlpools and vortexes, it is not a place for the light hearted.
There are just as many types of inhabitants on Olayha as there are environments. With the pidgeottos, fearows and farfetch’d of the blustery skies to the beedrills and scythers of the frantic and always-buzzing forests, from the dewgongs of the arctic oceans to the ponytas and rhyhorns of the plains. While in towns and usually small cities, connected to the fresh water supply of the nearby river, live all of the impressive creatures from all over the region, some tamed, others not, but most, lifelong friends with the most common, of the inhabitants; the humans.
But not everyone who lives in these small yet comfortable towns and cities live on the Flat Land. Quite a few have dedicated their lives to the ideology of former Master Xoedsy and his predecessors. In an attempt to get closer to where their Garden of Eden; the world, was constructed, they have assembled tower after magnificent tower at the highest whereabouts throughout the land; the mountains and hilltops of Garniore. Calculating and predicting in their awe-striking towers and spires are the magicians, mythologists, scientists, stargazers and obviously, those who are of great help to these people and are in return greatly thanked: the maids and servants, butlers and waiters, cooks and cleaners, the rest.
Attached to Garniore, a bloodsucking parasite, draining the very life and energy from the once peaceful place, are the followers of Xoedsy. With every passing year, more and more people became members to his demonic alliance and the numbers are still increasing today. And like all other organisations, it started out as one tiny man in the huge world with big beliefs. And as time moved on, the society became rather large, in fact, larger than all other leagues save one.
And as their nation grew, so did their enemies. Once large enough, they decided to move to a safer area; Garniore and its mountains, where they erected and built towers on top of them, always more impressive, always more advanced. Devoting their lives to the research of space and its inhabitants, once majestic and magnificent buildings like the tuition schools, that taught children to control the most aggressive of the untamed outer space pokemon, are now overshadowed by the ruling buildings of Xoedsy and his cohorts. His predecessors may not have had the right ideas, but at least they had good ones. Xoedsy twisted their good intentions and have led his followers on a wild goose chase.
Opposing Xoedsy and his troop of misfits is the new Master. Selected by the council of Olayha, only the most trusted and respected are picked. Before the new Master, the role was bestowed upon to Xoedsy, but when the council found out his conniving plans, it was obvious that he would have to resign or be forced to, but either way, he would lose his job. But now, with all the confrontation between Xoedsy and his enemies, the council decided to pick a person that neither liked Xoedsy nor hated him; a neutral party.
Master Tyranoa is his name. Loyal to all who befriend him and father to three. As an impending and increasingly bothersome problem, Tyranoa was asked to make a speech on Xoedsy and his beliefs:
“The world may have been created by forces in Outer Space, but there is no hard evidence. The world may have always existed on Flat Land and some nameless force may have created it from the previously desolate wasteland, but this too has no solid proof. We have discovered a stone tablet, but we can not reveal the whereabouts of it. It is a most unusual item and records information which dates back thousands of years ago. It tells of a world unheard of and definitely unspoken of. According to this tablet, the world was once ruled by the creatures we know today as pokemon. That strange force was the pokemon. I quote ‘River of tears. Sorrow and fears. War no more. Life again.’ So far, that is all that has been translated, but I fear that history will repeat itself…like it has before. Sorry but I have more pressing issues to attend to.”
And those pressing issues were his three children; Belle, Wallace and Timothy.

2nd August 2006, 5:11 PM
That is a good start. But don't you need to review and read the rules on how to paragraph this? But to make it better make it sound exciting and fresh!