View Full Version : Quest to become a Dragon Trainer: Angel vs Team Magma!?

Yami Ryu
9th August 2006, 2:37 AM
No I have not started five fics. I've started two and am continuing the two- my Drakengard one and this. Being bummed out by my loss of a computer cut my spirit to rp mostly and write the next chapters for my stories, as even though I had them saved- I forgot to save the notes for the three too :/ so they're hiatused.

So decided to reward my reviewers- as most of the people that were reading those, loved this story also, I brought it back as compensation. I haven't made the next chapter yet, from where I left off, but I still have the notes I had for the story, I still remember my plot for it, and after a short time I hopefully can get back into writing it.

So without further ado... I bring back 'QtbaDT: Angel vs Team Magma!?'!

Only request I have, last one devolved into a star rating war of 25 voters. I'd rather go without the vote war so people- ignore the spitefull onestar-ers. And just review Xp

Chapter One
Magikarp vs Mightyena

“This is the way we train the ‘karp, train the ‘karp, this is the way we train the ‘Karp as it knows nothing,” Angel muttered to herself as she held the large light orange and grey finned pokemon at the base of the tail and swung the hapless fish. A yelp of pain escaped into the air, but it wasn't from the Magikarp that just blinked it's blank eyes, letting out a monotone ‘Magi?’ as a Geodude tumbled across the graveled surface of the cave floor and only came a stop when it rolled into a pile of sand a ways off from Angel.

Snorting, Angel let her left hand fall away from helping hold the Magikarp like a bat and rested it against her hip. “Pathetic. Even without a water attack, this thing still is better than half the pokemon here.” Grumbled the auburn haired, grey eyed teenager as she glared about the cavern.

“Char. Charmeleon char.” Hades said from Angels’ side.

Glancing down at the blood red pokemon, Angel sighed, “No Hades, we are not going catch one of these weaklings. You do not have to worry about having a pathetic partner.”

“Meleo mel char.”

Angel growled and glared at Hades before focusing her attention on Caim and finally held him the right way, and not like a blunt object to bludgeon things to death with. “Caim is not weak. He's defeated a trainer, several Geodudes and some Zubats. Does this look like something weak?” Angel almost cooed out, and scratched Caim on the head.

“Magikarp, Magikarp. Karp magikarp.” Was all she recived and Hades snickered and said something equivalent to ‘No but he is stupid’, only the remark got Hades a crack upside the head, but he was used to the pops by now, they weren't painfull, and it showed his trainer wasn't weak or afraid of his kind like the other trainers were.

Muttering to herself about mostly non important things, Angel brushed a reddish-brown strand of hair out of her eyes while tapping a shoe protected foot lightly against the cave floor. With her free hand Angel pulled the map out of a pocket, and snapped it open. “Lets see...” Angel grumbled as she skimmed over it. “If we continue this way... go down next the tunnel we come across, and take it all the way to the end.. we'll be out of here by nightfall. Or daybreak. Whichever is about to happen in a few hours.”


“Oh stop complaining. The longer we're here, the more you get to stay out.” Angel snapped out at the dry remark from the Charmeleon, as she stuffed the map back into her pocket with out a hint of grace or care about the whole process.

After placing the map back into her pocket, and made sure the lump of paper was going to stay, or rather more of a scroll, but it was the same thing to Angel, she started walking forwards, Hades by her side. Both (Magikarp really aren't smart enough usually to be included most of the time in a ‘group’) ignored the chittering of Zubat's as the bat pokemon wisely avoided the light. They might not be able to see it, but the warmth was enough to warn them away.

Lost in their own thoughts, they continued on, and it seemed they'd have an uneventfull trip through the rest of the moutain.

But then again, things don't always go as planned.

“Arg! Halt! I can't let you pass!” A masculine voice yelled out from the darkness, before the patter of footsteps against stone filled the air. Angel quirked an eyebrow and paused, turning a bit to the left, the way the sound was, and the yell had come from. For a moment, nothing came out of the darkness.

Then a red booted foot appeared in the ringlet of light cast by Charmeleon's tail, followed by another booted foot, and Angel raised her gaze a bit. And then a bit more, and whistled slightly, he might look a bit dorky in the get up the man was in, red shorts, a black under shirt and a red jacket, and it seemed a red/black hat over his head with one of the old symbols for Earth on it. But Angel admited he was a looker.

She just got the feeling that beneath those baby blues and blonde hair, he was going to bring a surprise she didn't want. Especially with that shout he had seemingly done.

“I can't let you pass, Team Magma have already taken over Mt Moon, and it'd be best to turn back, before you're forced!”

Angel hated when those feelings were right, and sighed lightly before regaining her composure. “This isn't owned property, and it's a bit early for halloween, isn't it? Why don't you and your friends go play dress up somewhere else.” Angel snapped out with a toss of her hand, motioning for him to leave her presence now.

Evidently this man in a get up she would normally have laughed at, didn't understand the simple motion or her words. As Angel basically dismissed him as an annoyance and not a threat, by turning around and heading for the tunnel again, the ‘Magma Grunt’ grabbed a pokeball and with a flick of his wrist to send it forward, released a medium sized, black and grey furred pokemon to the world.

The wolf like pokemon was around three and a half feet high at the head, and around a foot longer with the bristle like coal colored tail swishing back and forth slightly, as if the owner was joyed to be let loose upon the world. Twin dusky grey ears pricked up while the blood red eyes narrowed as a light growl started to rumble the pokemon's chest.

Thick, coarse black fur sprang up fron the back of the pokemon's neck, all the way down it's back to the base of the tail, and hung over it's sides almost like a fur coat some human would wear, and unlike the grey fur covering most of the rest of it's body, this fur gave it protection from attacks to it's back and neck. The three clawed paws were socked in black fur, like it's back, and the grey chest continued to vibrate slightly as the rumbled growl from the Mightyena got louder.

Angel blinked as Hades suddenly snorted, and let out a loud bark of ‘Meleon!’, whirling around so fast his tail flame sputtered for a few seconds then flared back to life once more, almost burning the shadows away from himself and Angel that had tried to overcome them when his tailflame had dimmed. “Charmeleon!” He yelled again, and Angel looked over her shoulder, wondering what had gotten into Hades, only to see she'd looked just in time to see a large grey and black form slam into Hades, sending him flying backwards with a pained cry.

“Hades!” Exclaimed Angel as she started to move towards the fallen, and seemingly knocked out fire type, to check Hades and make sure he was alright. But the trainer was blocked from doing this by the ‘Magma Grunt’ releasing his second pokemon, a Zubat, into the air before Angel.

The auburn haired teen let out a slight shriek from startlement and flailed with her Magikarp, scoring a direct hit upon the bat, as it had not been expecting that, and it happened so fast it's ecolocation abilities hadn't picked up the movement.

The Zubat let out a sharp pitched cry as the orange fish pokemon thunked into it's body soundly. The Magikarp let out a confused ‘Magi?’ at the sudden motion, but it was already too late for the Zubat. The cerulean skinned creature went tumbling through the air much as its wild counter parts had, and slammed harshly into a stone wall a few feet from where Angel's own pokemon had landed in a heap.

The bat pokemon hung almost cartoon-like against the wall before slowly peeling away and dropped like a stone to the floor in a twitching, knocked out lump of pokemon.

Angel's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly, showing off the first hint of agression she was feeling as the teenager slowly turned to her left, where the wolf pokemon that had assaulted her Charmeleon stood. The Mightyena looked at its fallen partner, then back up at this human, and its tail tucked between its rear legs.

But Angel did not care about that as she ducked her head slightly, reddish brown bangs casting her eyes under shadow and the Mightyena took a step back as if the dark type was suddenly afraid of this human.

The wolf pokemons' ears went flat against his skull and he started to whine, and Mandy the still nameless grunt to Angel, had finally caught on to something being wrong here. “What did you do to my Zubat... and why are you holding that Magikarp like a bludgeon?”

Angel didn't reply to the idiot, as she now dubbed him. Just shifted her stance, raised the fish, and with an almighty yell of rage; swung the orange fish and caught the Mightyena upside the head! The wolf pokemon yelped like a kicked puppy as he was nearly sent airborn from the hit, and never saw the Magikarp be shifted and land another ‘Tackle’ to the underside of his jaw, sending the dark type head over heels nearly and onto the floor.

The Mightyena whimpered loudly in pain and did not move from where he'd fallen, knowing he was beaten by this mad, insane trainer that held a Magikarp in such a way.

“Hey now! You can't abuse pokemon like that!” Mandy exclaimed, causing Angel to turn towards him. She stared at him coldly for a moment then started to advance towards the Magma Grunt. Mandy's eyes went wide and he stumbled back, suddenly hit with the reality that she wasn't going to listen to him. But it was too late, even if he had run, he wouldn't get very far.

With a yelp, Mandy tripped over a rock and fell outside the weak circle of light provided by the fallen Charmeleon. Angel took this opportunity much like a predator would; all but taking a running leap towards Mandy, bearing down with the Magikarp.

For a second there was just silence.

Then a horrible sound of near bone hard scale striking flesh and a pained cry of ‘mercy’ that went unheard of by what beat at him soundly with the fish. For what seemed like an eternity, Mandy was struck with the fish pokemon untill he was a whimpering puddle of magma grunt, and finally Angel relented; Leaving the man a mewling, pained form on the ground.

Quickly hurrying back into the light, and towards her pokemon (and also ignoring the fact that she'd just beaten the crap out of two pokemon and a human), Angel kneeled down by her first pokemon, tentively resting a hand on the Charmeleon's side. Her eyes narrowed slightly, she could feel the labored breathing with the hand, and hear it as the breath rasped in and out of the slightly open mouth.

“Oh Hades,” Angel whispered as she drew her hand away from the fire lizard's side and pulled a pokeball off of her belt, double pressing the button on the red and white sphere before carefully tapping it onto the Charmeleon, withdrawing him into the stasis of the pokeball. He wouldn't become more injured in there, thankfully.

Gulping slightly, as the cave had been sent into darkness now with her Charmeleon out of comission, Angel kept a firm grip on Caim's tail with her left hand, and started forward, knowing the general direction she must walk in to get to the tunnel, and just hoped she found the right one and did not run into anymore crazy people like that last person had been.

To Be Continued in Chapter Two;
Angel vs Maxie

9th August 2006, 3:07 AM
I honestly don't know what to say so I'll say this.

I like how you portray this Magikarp except this trainer Angel actually flails the Magikarp around who as I can see trying to hit the pokemon with force. Unless I'm seeing this wrong.

The description in the story is very well written as it is added to the flow of the story. And Angel she sounds a little evil like the way she beat that Magma Grunt. Nevertheless the way you did this chapter was very well but I wonder how she'll take down someone like Maxie with a Charmeleon and a Magikarp.

Nevertheless if there's anyone who can write well, clear what I could be seeing wrong and can catch the points of writing and put them in this fic to make this even better it's you.

Sorry if this sounded weird but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Yami Ryu
9th August 2006, 11:47 AM
First note: the star war begins again >.> well better than being spammed sorta.

Shadowblazer: You're review made me lol, and don't worry about it :p and my writing skills are a bit pokemon > human as they're easier to describe :x anyways, you'll just have to wait till I post the chapter in a couple days.

Frost Nova
9th August 2006, 12:58 PM
I remembered reading this in your old account, kudos to you for bringing this back up again. And erasing away any memories on previous chapters, here are the rates.

Description was rich and detailed, with the Mightyena description winning the prize. I personally loved the opening of the chapter:

“This is the way we train the ‘karp, train the ‘karp, this is the way we train the ‘Karp as it knows nothing,”

This made me crack up so bad.

The plot with Angel and Hades flowed pretty smooth, and you managed to avoid the Mary Sue pitfall in trainer fics. The 'sadistic' attitude of Angel certainly brings a lot more flavour to the story. I didn't see anything wrong with the plot, except for this:

and Mandy the still nameless grunt to Angel, had finally caught on to something being wrong here.

One minute the Magma Grunt was still refered as being 'Magma Grunt', so what's with him being called 'Mandy'? It just sounded a bit......odd there.

Spelling errors weren't that much of a problem, except for these:

but he was used to the pops by now, they weren't painful,

ignored the chittering of Zubats

and it happened so fast it's echolocation abilities hadn't picked up the movement.

showing off the first hint of aggression

as he was nearly sent airborne from the hit, and never saw the Magikarp be shifted and land another ‘Tackle’ to the underside of his jaw,

There's something weird about that part: can't point out what it is, but it's just not right. Basically that's all to it. No major faults to be seen. And the icing on the cake is, this.

“Hey now! You can't abuse pokemon like that!” Mandy exclaimed, causing Angel to turn towards him.

Oh, the irony.

Anyway, good luck with the rest of the chapters, and more hilarity to come.

Lady Myuu
9th August 2006, 7:11 PM
... I love this fic. Always have and always will. You have such a nice way with trainer fics. I can't even write them as they scare me.

Anyway, I loved the opening, makes me laugh everytime I read it. Poor Caim, then again I dun think he feels anything at all. Stupid cute fishy...

;; CAN I STEAL THE GRUNT? I love Mandy, he is a cutie, he makes me want a magma grunt plushie.

<3 this fic. And I am not being bias, this was always one of my favs.

this is a pathetic review but I am not in the mood to be criticing.

9th August 2006, 7:24 PM
o.o YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME TOO. No wonder--I was wondering where you had gone. XP I remember reading this and loved Caim to death, so I'm glad to see that it's back.

And "pray that she doesn't run into any more crazy people?!" SHE's the crazy one. 8D And she must be strong, if she can send them all packing with that fish. I wish you more luck with this fic!

Yami Ryu
10th August 2006, 2:00 AM
Angel's not evil XD

She's just different :x

sides the magikarp doesn't even feeeel paaain

The plot with Angel and Hades flowed pretty smooth, and you managed to avoid the Mary Sue pitfall in trainer fics.

Well I wasn't always this good- and it's how I can spot a sue quickly. Just being 'all perfect' doesn't make a mary sue a mary sue. And why I don't have many OC trainer stories XD anyways thanks for the compliment, was striving to make Angel/this story original and sue free.

;; CAN I STEAL THE GRUNT? I love Mandy, he is a cutie, he makes me want a magma grunt plushie.

No Myuu you can not steal Mandy! D< not yet anyways. Not untill THE BIG SURPRISE. And no one is gonna see it coming :x

8D And she must be strong, if she can send them all packing with that fish.

Yes, she is. But I think it's more of a 'strength caused by woman scorned' sorta dealie XD

Yami Ryu
11th August 2006, 12:48 AM
Ok you know now, whatever I said isn't gonna hold and my fic is gonna devolve into a star war.

So now I just lol at the noobs- cause I know who it is. It's everyone I burned in a review that's to afraid to try and review me XD

anyways I know this is a four star fic star abusers or not XD

Alright, anyways, here is the second chapter- and also don't expect the third chapter untill AFTER I get the second chapter for my Drakengard story up. I want to try and keep it fair for fans of both stories.

And yes you all see how Angel battles Maxie!

and beware the evil typos

Chapter Two
Angel Vs Maxie

‘How long have I been walking for?’ Angel thought to herself as she struggled to keep from flinching at the sounds of the Zubat that fluttered overhead. So far so good, it seemed, aslong as she kept aware of her surroundings, the wild pokemon seemed unable to catch a weakspot and attack her. Meaning for now, Angel was safe.

‘If only that idiot hadn't attacked Hades, we'd be out of here by now...’

As if sensing her thoughts, Caim weakly ‘Karped’ from her left hand, even if he wasn't really attacking pokemon, he was still getting weary from the near flight feeling he was getting as he was flailed about like some sort of medival weapon against other pokemon. That and he had been out of the water, or damp areas for awhile. And whild Magikarp could survive a damn long time with little moister, using them to bash in the skulls of pokemon (or rather beat them to a bloody pulp) was not what Magikarp were intended for.

Though knowing she was safe and being safe, atleast for now, Angel still was not a happy trainer. Especially as she crashed, seemingly once again into why she did not like caves anymore, and if possible would avoid them forever more. Swearing under her breath, she back tracked quickly, only to end up slamming mercilessly into another stalagmite. Or stalactite. She didn't know which nor cared as she all but doubled over, one arm clutching her middle, while the other, magikarp filled, tried to rub her poor back and lightly bleeding nose.

“This is hell.” Angel grumbled out, only it came out more along the lines of; ‘theff ef heef,’ as the young woman slowly pulled herself upright while tilting her head back and after a few moments of fumbling, pressed her hand against her nose, trying to staunch the bleeding that was occuring, even if slight.

Weary, battered and tired, Angel wished she never had run into that damn Magma whatever, lacky, or something. She hadn't brought any other sources of light because she had assumed Hades would be to high in experience in battling to be knocked out by some Zubat and Geodude. Well, she was half right. It'd been some sort of dog pokemon she'd never seen before that had done it.

Sighing to herself, shoulders dropping from defeat, Angel fumbled about in the darkness for Caim's pokeball to recall him. As if sensing what his trainer was about to do, the large fish started to struggle, letting out ‘Magi’ and ‘Karp’ every few seconds. Another sigh escaping her, Angel once again fumbled to return the pokeball to her belt without dropping it, then made sure Hades' pokeball was still there.

“Alright you silly fish, you can stay out.” The teenager muttered, and it seemed to appease the fish pokemon as he stopped struggling and trying to escape from her hand. “You are a stupid thing. Loyal, but stupid.”

The Magikarp seemed to take her comment as a compliment and started to let out another round of ‘Magi’, which caused Angel to roll her eyes at whatever the `Karp was saying. Or thinking it was saying. She doubted even another Magikarp would understand what Caim was ‘Magi’ abouting, or vice versa, anyways.

Slowly moving forward again, this time, she tried to keep from walking into anything now, even going so far as to let her free hand slide over the cave walls; which wasn't a pleasent experience given the fact there was slime growing on the walls as it wasn't the driest of places. Shuddering, Angel muttered an ‘Ew’ as she forced herself to keep her hand there and not shift it.

And the effort of will power on her part may have kept her from running into anything, but it didn't mean Angel was exactly thrilled about earning a slime and mold covered hand, or god forbid what else could be on the wall.

A bitter ‘Next time, I am bringing a flash light’ escaped Angel as hind-sight showed that this was her fault, not the guy playing dress up. Though Angel marked it off as the romantic part of herself trying to give the guy a second chance.

She wasn't worried about being lost... all the tunnels led out of Mt. Moon, eventually... though Angel wasn't looking forward to the possibility of spending another minute down here, let alone a whole other day. As that thought zipped past, the rock wall at her hand suddenly pulled away, leaving a wide gap of nothingness. Gulping while trying to stiffle the urge to try and backtrack, Angel turned slightly and after a few breath taking moments of shuffling about in the darkness; the trainer found herself in another tunnel. And prayed this one got her out of here faster then a days travel. She didn't know how much longer her body could take the strain it was being forced to take: no sleep in over twenty four hours. Various injuries, slight to minor, and having to flail wildly in the dark with the Magikarp to keep dangerous Zubat's away.

The soft dropping of water from above into small puddles filled the air as Angel continued to step as lightly as she could, not wanting to alarm anything into attacking. Her breathing sounded harsh and ragged in her own ears, and the young woman was fearing her thundering heart could be heard by everything; alerting to the world she was at her weakest. Alone and scared.


Starting, Angel almost dropped the cause of the break in the errie silence. Fumbling and nearly dropping the Magikarp, the auburn haired teenager flinched as the slime was moved from one hand to her other and the Karp. But an interesting thing happened upon that happening, it started to glow faintly, giving a weak outline of her hands and the pokemon she held.

Blinking a few times to make sure she wasn't seeing things, Angel held the Magikarp up and shook him slightly, and the crushed mold and slime mixture seemed to brighten a bit, and didn't dim when she stopped. And Angel shook Caim again and again untill she had a brightly glowing chartruse and dizzy ‘karp.

Shifting the hold she had on him, Angel now took in the surroundings she could see. The light wasn't bright enough to read a map by, but it was enough to see. And as the young trainer turned, she was once again almost startled

Skeletons of pokemon. Long extinct pokemon. Bones littered the floor too, and other various things. Awed slightly, Angel freed a hand from the Magikarp flashlight, wiped it off on her shorts and ignored a disgusted feeling as the slime was stubborn to come off, then reached out with a now less glowy finger. Running it over the nasal ridge of the pokemon's bones that had scared her, she could only imagine what had happened to the flying pokemon before it died.

Wonders upon wonders, she could only guess as she let her hand drop away from the Aerodactyl's remains. She was about to walk away when her eyes spotted what could have been the reason for the creatures death. It almost looked like part of the wall, and she would have guessed it was, if it wasn't for the fact there seemed to be several ridges like it coming from the wall, at the same level. Wait, not several, that was too few. There were hundreds of bumps.

A bit confused, and curious, she crouched down; holding Caim closer to the wall after muttering to him to stop moving, she reached out again, letting questing fingertips brush over the rocky surface. "... holy ****," Angel swore, showing off how startled she was at her discovery. It was one thing to find an Aerodactly, but it was another thing to find something other trainers had over looked! It wasn't uncommon knowledge that fossiles could now be ‘revived’, in fact it was free! ... it's just finding a fossile that was complete was not free, or easy. As museums held contracts over the bones, amber everything. Meaning only the rich; such as Lance, could afford to have them ressurected.

Grinning near evilly, she had stumbled onto something few seemed to know was hear.

Eggs. Aerodactly Eggs. A whole nest site of Aerodactyls.

Giggling as she was filled with giddish delight, Angel set Caim down near her chosen egg and looked around before settling onto using fallen and loose bones to help her escivate the egg the rest of the way.

Seconds burned into minutes, minutes slowly turned into hours, and those inched by into an eternity. And after that, with a final tap-tap of her make shift pick; the fossilised egg came free, and into her hands. Flooded with a sense of victory, Angel almost hugged the egg to her chest, she had done it. She might be sweaty and bloodied; her hands were sore and raw from the work she'd been doing without gloves of any sort. But she had done it.

Near trembling from the rush of excitement that flooded her, the young teenager shifted enough to grab a pokeball from her belt and tap it onto the egg she held. Enveloped in a bright red light, the fossil was pulled into the red and white sphere.

Relaxing a little as she watched the pokeball change ever so slightly, turning into one showing it held an item instead of a pokemon, Angel looked like she was the queen of the earth, from her expression.

Returning the now item-ball to her belt, Angel picked herself up off the cool rock floor, then dusted herself off. Still a bit giddy at her achievement, Angel scooped Caim up, and ignored the weariness her body now held.

‘I just did something no one else probably has... When I battle the elite four, they and Lance will have to accept another Dragon user has arisen!’

Flying high on her dreams, Angel probably would have made it out of the cave and it's maze like tunnels without further incident. But it seemed fate wouldn't have that, as it seemed, barely five minutes into her walk down the tunnel, a small light started to shine at the end. At first, Angel shook it off as an illusion. Then as it got brighter and larger the closer she came, and her eyes slowly adjusted to the slow change from a dark enviroment to that of a light filled one, or getting there anyways, Angel thought that she had made it outside.

Forcing her tired body into a sprint, the teenager thought she was going to burst outside, admist sweet air and a clear blue sky. And she was close .. to her target atleast. If what she didn't run into wasn't there.

Crying out from shock, she slammed into a figure and they both tumbled down, Angel was aware of a sudden intake of breath or gasps from many people, and slowly she pulled herself up off whomever she had run into.

Blinking a few times, Angel's first view of what or who she had run into, was red. Then black. And a sense of dread came over her. And it wasn't let down as her eyes caught sight of a burning red emblem on the black part of the shirt she was looking at. And suddenly Angel realised how bad this was.

People had always feared Team Rocket would somehow make a comeback from the sound thrashing a Trainer named Satoshi Red had delivered unto them. But now, now Angel grasped at a straw that maybe a more dangerous foe had come. A more deadly opponent-

The red haired man seemed to have a temper as short as the fire his hair was colored after, “You fools! Our hide out was supposed to be secure!”

Then again, Angel thought, maybe they weren't such a deadly foe...

Pushing herself up, Angel backed away from the man as he seemed to have a harder time getting up, and it seemed a cape was the reason for that, but Angel was taking all the chances given to her. Even if this guy was a moron too, he was larger then herself, in hieght and wieght. And if he went at her outside of a pokemon battle...

“Maxie! Sir!” Someone called out from above, and this was when Angel took note of her surroundings; she, and ‘Maxie’ were in a crater of some sort, that was a good fifteen feet deep, and in a slightly deeper depression in the middle of the crater, that was atleast three times as wide as it was deep, a large bulge of rock jutted up from the stone. Ragged and pock-marked, the stone appeared worn and abused from years of weathering. Looking up, Angel squinted at the sight of bright baby blue sky greeting her before a small cloud scudded past high above.

Blinking repeatedly and squinting a bit more now, Angel returned her gaze to the one dubbed ‘Maxie’, he appeared to be thirty, at the most, short and well kept crimson hair was the first thing that seemed to stick out on this guy. Outside of the get up he wore. Scowling, the man litterally looked down at the intruder that had dared slammed into him, and grabbed a pokeball and maximised it.

“You girl, are going to regret ever running into my orginisation, let alone myself.” Maxie growled as he threw the pokeball forward. It burst open in a flash of gold and red energy a few feet from Angel; causing the young trainer to back up as she did not know what was being released.

The red and gold energy quickly started to take form, four legs, a barrel of a torso, a gracefull neck and a horned head. Ears pricked up and the nostrils flared as a tail of pure fire waved behind it slightly while a mane of flames billowed almost gracefully as the Rapidash tossed its cream furred head a little, violet-black eyes bright with intelligence and something else in their depths.

Backing up again, and not stopping, Angel was about ready to try and run for it when Maxie snapped out orders to the Rapidash; “Rapidash, Horn Attack!”

“Oh my god are you insane!?” Angel near screamed as the horse whickered loudly, reared up and charged her. A real scream escaped her as fear gripped her heart as the flame horse pokemon tore over the rock straight for her. She didn't hear Maxie reply, if he even said anything, all she could see and hear was the Rapidash as it bore down on her.

Almost snarling, the horse pokemon threw it's head to the side and then tried to sweep it across Angel. Crying out in fear, she just managed to deflect the blow with the Magikarp, though Caim cried out loudly in pain as the more experienced Rapidash was able to still deal damage even with the fish pokemon's bone like scales. Rearing up again, the Rapidash lashed out with its front hooves, catching both Angel and her pokemon off guard for such a maunuver.

Another sharp cry escaped Angel as she was sent tumbling backwards, vision realing and slowly everything started to fade...

“Quick! Get that meteorite out of that damn crater! What are you all staring at!? MOVE IT NOW!”

Angel heard a weak utterance of ‘Karp’ from Caim as her eyes closed, and as the darkness took her under, she didn't hear the ‘And someone finish that trash off,’

To Be Continued in Chapter Three;
Surprise Rescue? Battle aftermath

11th August 2006, 2:05 AM
Well this might be another LOL review from me but I'll say this.

This is very well written and a interseting plotline for this chapter. I like how you put Aerodactyl into this {He's one of my favourite pokemon} A few things though.

One you make real sense in this fanfic like when Angel was flinging Magikarp around and he got damaged even with his body with scales.

Two why do I have a feeling that the rescue will be by a trainer who will be Angel's partner through the rest of this fic.

Three I see that Angel will most likely have a Charizard, Gyarados and a Aerodactyl at some point. Now those are the 3 of 6 pokemon Lance had in G/S/C. Coincedence?

Yami Ryu
11th August 2006, 2:20 AM
Well this might be another LOL review from me but I'll say this.

:p no, no lols this time.

This is very well written and a interseting plotline for this chapter. I like how you put Aerodactyl into this {He's one of my favourite pokemon} A few things though.

Why thank you, you aren't the only one that liked this chapter either, most of the old readers loved it too.

One you make real sense in this fanfic like when Angel was flinging Magikarp around and he got damaged even with his body with scales.

Well I remembered in the anime about Magi's scales, but took into account a Rapidash > Magikarp.

Two why do I have a feeling that the rescue will be by a trainer who will be Angel's partner through the rest of this fic.

You'll just have to wait to find out :3

Three I see that Angel will most likely have a Charizard, Gyarados and a Aerodactyl at some point. Now those are the 3 of 6 pokemon Lance had in G/S/C. Coincedence?

Well seeing as there are few 'dragon' like pokemon, and the fact Angel is aspiring to become a dragon trainer....

But do have a spoiler if you want it:

One of the small plots I had for Angel was- Hades never evolved. Atleast in this fic.

But as to the rest of her team well ... have to wait and find out.

11th August 2006, 4:09 AM
So, I see that you write fanfiction as well!
I read through it and the only thing that popped into my mind was ...Wow! that poor magicarp! Reading how your character used it as a weapon made me laugh, because trying to use a Magikarp any other way is just so utterly useless. XD
Anyway, great fic! me and my noobness anxiously await your next chapters so I can leave dumb, but happy comments on it!
By the way, sorry for the earlier dumb comments, I made myself look like a huge moron.
>_> <_< *Don't yell at meee....* *cowers*

Sike Saner
11th August 2006, 5:22 AM
Infranities, I have fond memories of this story, its characters, everything. Caim still kicks arse a thousandfold, of course. I also like the little semi-subliminal interest that Angel can't help but harbor for Mandy, even after bludgeoning the mighty hell out of him; that was always delightful. ^^ Not to mention the originality in the storyline; that's nice, too.

Here're a couple of moments in particular that I liked:

“This is the way we train the ‘karp, train the ‘karp, this is the way we train the ‘Karp as it knows nothing,” Angel muttered to herself as she held the large light orange and grey finned pokemon at the base of the tail and swung the hapless fish.

I can so hear that song in my head, and it’ll probably be stuck there all night, too. XD

Mandy was struck with the fish pokemon untill he was a whimpering puddle of magma grunt

That phrase made me smile. “Whimpering puddle of magma grunt” – there’s just something very easy to like about that. ^^

Again, I'm glad to see this back again. There are some things in coming chapters that I remember and look very forward to, but I'll be nice and not spoil anything. :3

11th August 2006, 10:32 PM
This story is great
I like how you make it sound so real
And how you make it sound like you never want to get on Angel's bad side
I can't wait for the next chapter

Air Dragon
12th August 2006, 8:55 AM
ooh, Angel sure is a scary kid... bet she's single...Poor Caim must feel truly abused, or would have, if he weren't stupid (which is probably Angel's fault)

This is quite an idea you have here! Nice rich description keep it vividly interesting and the cast are well played out by their characters.

one part in your latest chapter that got me smiling was

“Oh my god are you insane!?” Angel near screamed as the horse whickered

*Ahem* like she's one to talk, hehe...

I DID catch a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes in the last chapter:

atleast for now,

Space between the at and least.


I think that word's moisture.

with the Magikarp to keep dangerous Zubat's away.

There's no need for an apostrophe there...

a brightly glowing chartruse

The word is spelt chartreuse.

using fallen and loose bones to help her escivate the egg

The word is excavate.

okay, that's it...now, two favours: one, could you pm me when new cnapters arrive and two, could you please read and review my fic to see if i should keep it going? Thanks! Later!

Yami Ryu
18th August 2006, 1:25 PM
Well seeinfg sas I wont have aworking keyboard untill atleastsaturday I am posting chapterv three.

And yes tere is a loo hole wih Mandy. BUT I AM ALLOWED A LOOP HOLE!


edit: wtf ;; whar haoppenwed to my sppech quotes!? .-. damniit

Chapter Three
Surprise Rescue? Battle aftermath!

A few hours before...

?Going to be late, again! Gah, this is not good!?

The young mans thoughts were interupted as he turned the corner, and just about ran into someone's fist. A near pathetic sound escaped him as he tottered back before collapsing into a boneless heap. Though the owner of the fist wasn't in much better condition.

Flinching, Mandy nursed his wounded pride as he cradled the hand that had just pulverised, or almost, anyways, the man that now lay at his feet. Glaring at the man as if he was the cause of this, Mandy tried to ignore the knowledge of who had really done this.

But like a troublesome stain, it kept coming back. And not going away. So it seemed to continually haunt Mandy. Though this was normal, he had never liked being with Team Magma; but he was basically stuck in the role he now found himself in.

And forced to come to the terms that yet again he had failed, and ...

Mandy didn't want to dwell on that.

But it seemed the blonde haired man wouldn't be rescued from his thoughts anytime soon as a memory flickered too life. The first trainer Mandy had faced had been stronger then his Poochyena and Nidoran gang up, and had gotten past him. The screams would haunt him for the rest of his life, Mandy guessed.

And now another one would be added to that...

Shaking himself mentally, Mandy slapped himself outwardly. He could not fall into that state. If he did, he'd be seen as weak, and .. Mandy didn't want to be seen as weak. Not untill he could get far, far away and allow himself to cry into his pillow for the vicious crimes he had witnessed and heard.

And like the man he had just taken down, he was rudely shaken from his thoughts as his cellphone blared out with some sort of rap music tone. He hadn't really bothered to change it when he'd gotten it, but now wasn't a time to try, either. Muttering loudly after the startlement he had recived, Mandy all but yanked the phone from the pocket, flicked it open and put the hand held device to his ear.

?What!?? He snapped out, stress aiding to the fierce tone he tried to have going for him. Mandy could just about see the roll of the eyes from whomever was speaking.

?The Boss has found what we came here for originally. So move your *** and get over here!?

Muttering an ?Alright,? at that, Mandy took down the directions and snapped the phone shut with a sharp metalic ?clink?. Though a small part of him was glad. There had been no snide remarks about him letting another trainer slip past.

Shoving the mobile phone back into his pocket, he started off.

Present Time

Mandy could only stare in complete and utter horror that was hard to keep hidden, as he watched that Rapidash attempted to gore the human. If only she had been stalled for another hour. If only she had wandered down another path.

Mandy wasn't the only one to flinch as the girl was knocked for a loop by one of the horse pokemon's hooves. But he was the only one wishing the girl hadn't been there. He didn't like this, he had only joined because he had thought it was about stealing pokemon, and maybe terrorising a few elderly people out of their money.

Never had he thought it'd actually be about life and death, or forcing an ancient pokemon to wake from it's eternal slumber.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Maxie shot out orders, and finished up with; ?And someone finish that trash off,?

There was a small chance. Impossibly small, but, still he had to try!

Grabbing a pokeball quickly, he threw it forward, not caring that an Admin had already summoned a Muk onto the scene. Ignoring the startled exclimation from the more experienced member to somewhere off his right, he snapped out a command to his pokemon as it formed.

Energy colored a deep stain of red formed and shifted into a near mushroom esque shape at first, then the ?Stalk? split; branching off into thirty smaller ?stems? that were a dark brown-grey in color, and they waved fiercly as the creature heard his master's commands, and would obey to the death, as most starters seemed to form a bond so deep, it was beyond anything found in life itself...

Or it could be the fact a Tentacruel had a brain probably the size of a walnut.

The giant dark blue, red jemmed cap glistened as light reflected off it's slimy body. Eyes narrowed in the darkness past it's tentacles and twin pincer like mandibles jutted out from the darkness and sunk into the earth as an extra balance of sorts.

The admin snarled out an order to the Muk, before throwing his gaze at the offending grunt. ?What is the meaning of this Mandy!?? The Admin demanded, and the Magma members between himself and the offending grunt coward, but were unable to move as that'd be abandoning their positions, and none of them wanted to anger Maxie now. Not like their crazy partner in this trough of insanity.

Mandy ignored him, just having a gut feeling if he looked away now, he'd loose his nerve to actually attempt to do the right thing, just snapped out; ?My Tentacruel hasn't had anything to eat lately!?

The Admin seemed to be taken aback a bit by the outburst from Mandy, but he didn't believe this blonde haired fool. But he backed off, and called the Muk away from the Tentacruel; which had been beating the Muk up with ten of it's tentacles, easily dealing damage and fending the living sludge monster off without a second thought.

The Muk let out a terrible, graiting moan of it's name as it oozed over the rock; leaving a trail of vicious green slime that gave off a terrible odor behind it. A Magma grunt too near the Muk's master muttered just loud enough to be heard, ?Looks like it's not potty trained.? He was cut off from any further remarks when the Admin, a terrible brute as it is, kicked the grunt square in the behind, sending him flailing and squawking into the crater below.

The foul smelling purple and black sludge creature let out a groan of ?Muuuu-uuku? and started to advance on the human. The Magma grunt wasn't mocked as he screamed like a pansy and scrambled to get up, making it out of reach as a slimey three fingered hand swiped the area his leg had been a moment ago.

?George over here over here!? A voice cried out and a pair of grunts waved their hands to the grunt stuck in the pit, already one was summoning a long snake like creature of purple skin and rattled tail as ?George? fled the pursuing Muk.

Mandy, taking the advantage of this distraction as the admin and everyone else was watching the plight of poor George, made several swift motions with his hands, and the Tentacruel gave a small and soft ?Tenta? as he shifted slightly, and one tentacle snapped around the Magikarp and with a light toss, sent the dazed thing flying to Mandy, who caught it swiftly, and stuffed it into his shirt, hoping no one asked where the bulge came from as the Tentacruel snapped the young woman's prone form up with a dozen of it's limbs, and pulled her up into the ebony darkness at the heart of the tentacles.

Shuddering and sighing lightly, now all Mandy had to do was wait, and hope.

Time seemed to want to inch by as he now sat by his Tentacruel as it ?digested? it's meal, eyes half closed and almost listless. Except for nudging a shoe towards Mandy, somehow or other the shoe had come off, and joined its fellow by Mandy. Seemingly further proof the girl was ?taken care of? as the giant meteorite was hauled out of the pit it'd created. After an hour of hard labour. Or atleast for the rock and ground types the grunts had.

And finally, when the last stone chip holding the meteroite in place was turned to dust at the claws of a sandshrew, several Rhydon were forced to pull it free and haul it out of the pit with the help of a Steelix, and Mandy just watched this all unfold from where he sat near his loyal jellyfish. Though they broke the stoic look they had a few times when the real idiots nearly got themselves run over by the near sphere shaped space rock.

Only when the last footstep faded into nothingness. When not even a Zubat could have heard a swear from a magma member that had his foot trodden upon, when all was silent and nothing stirred it seemed; did Mandy turn to the water/poison dual type and slowly shift onto his knees, reaching into the mess of tentacles.

?Easy Tenta, easy,? Mandy murmured, not even flinching at a rush of water hit his hands, and stung slightly, or the fact his arms were being numbed by the toxic limbs of the jellyfish. But after years of handling ?Tenta?, Mandy had developed an immunity to the poisons of the Tentacool line.

More water came, and finally the Tentacruel let the human he had been hiding in a pocket of sorts, fall into his masters arms. Mandy grunted as he caught her, and slowly pulled the nameless trainer out, trying to be carefull and not jostle her too much, least she become even more injured. Shifting her with caution evident in his actions, he circled an arm around her waist and squeazed slightly- then jerked his arm tight and in one motion caused the girls lungs to clear themselves of water. A ragged sounding breath was heard as the young woman, now consious, a bit, sputtered, spilling more water from her mouth and pulled in another breath.

?Easy, easy, you're safe.. ish..? Mandy muttered. The damp haired girl muttered something as her head drooped slightly, and Mandy sighed. ?Amazed you survived this long in there,? he softly spoke while scooping the girl up as if she wieghed like a twig. Looking at Tenta, he nodded, and the Tentacruel uttered it's name softly again, eyes focused on the young female human for a moment; he had wished no ill to her. For he hadn't been told to attack her, so had no reason to want to harm her.

The Tentacruel then reached out with a apendage and tapped the pokeball that he called home, and disappeared into it on his masters belt. It was around this time Caim had ?woken? up, and began thrashing, uttering Magikarps like no tomorrow before finally freeing himself from his prison, and landed on his trainer.

Swearing lightly at the orange fish, even knowing it was useless as the fish stared up mindlessly and blankly at him, Mandy started forward. Atleast something wasn't affected by the knowledge of how badly the trainer in Mandy's arms could be off thanks to the double beating her body had recived; a hoof to the head and poison to her body.

?This isn't a game anymore, you brat,? Mandy muttered suddenly, but didn't take his gaze off of the slight flicker of light at the end of this tunnel. ?This is life. It's not fair, and to ?lose? means to die. .. and there's no second chances. And I won't be there to save you again.?

Mandy didn't say anything else, knowing it was useless to speak to the girl in her condition. Half dead and not getting any better. But atleast he could say he had warned the kid. So his ?shoulder angel? couldn't nag at him or try to make him feel guilty.

And as Mandy sought to get the girl to the pokemon center or better yet; a hospital in Cerulean city, Maxie was already plotting his next move now that he had gotten the meteorite from Mt Moon, and it lay in the Radio Tower that had been put up recently just outside of Lavender town, and then in Saffron, for the head opperations of Silph Co. Then his dastardly plans could be set into action. And it did not help he was still on a rush for getting away with murder. Again.

Or atleast, so he thought.


Angel didn't know how long she was out. All she could remember was .. fighting an idiot... and Hades being hurt! .. then .. finding the fossil egg... and .. and a flash of something, something blurred, being struck, and .. and nothing.

Snapping upright, or trying to get into a seated position, even if she was prevented by doing that for being tied to the bed to prevent herself from getting out of bed untill she was fully healed, Angel struggled. Weakly, but she kept struggling. ?It isn't fair!? Angel thought acidly before slumping bonelessly into the hospital bed. She hated it here.

It stunk of cleanliness; antibacterials and bleach. And another thing.

Defeat. To be here she had to have been defeated. Her pokemon had been defeated. She was weak. They were weak.

Clenching her eyes shut, Angel tried to keep the tears from coming. She couldn't cry, weaklings didn't achieve their dreams. She couldn't be weak. But still, pushing past her struggles and denials, the tears leaked past. Seconds trickled by and seemed to turn into minutes, when it was only maybe the span of one, and Angel slumped again, weary, tired, and just let herself cry.

It didn't help words echoed inside her mind, words she didn't want to aknowledge for it meant to come to terms she'd be dead, that she was weak. That she didn't belong here, or belong on the path of her dreams.

Once again shutting her eyes fiercely, Angel pushed those thoughts away. She couldn't think those thoughts, she really would be defeated and pathetic like those Geodudes and Zubat's had been that she'd defeated using Caim. She was strong. Her pokemon were strong. She'd just been cheated by a stupid blonde halloween trick or treater.

Opening her eyes, the lost look that they had held for a brief time was gone, lost in the seas of a boiling surge of raw emotion. She would get better. Her pokemon would heal. She'd defeat the next gym and be one step closer to her goals. Nothing would stop her.


Or atleast so she thought.

Air Dragon
19th August 2006, 2:11 PM
okaaay, that was cool...i said only cool beacuase of the spelling errors your keyboard generated, other than which the chapter rocked ***!

Mandy and Angel sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Hahaaaah! both of them are just plain pathetic! Angel needs to get her game together if she wants to keep her dream alive.

i'd give the chapter an eight out of ten. 'til your nxt chapter...hehehe

I'm outta here!

PS: to keep you to your hiatus i hereby sentence you to 24 hours of being chained to your chair accross the room from your PC! Later!

19th August 2006, 4:36 PM
Interseting. The way your portraying this chapter {Does that even make sense} and portraying these characters are quite good.

The direction this is being taken in is also quite interseting.

Good luck with more chapters!