View Full Version : Pokemon: Krindore Region/Bronze

11th August 2006, 5:52 PM
This is a new place in the Pokemon world, sense I'm not very firmilliar with the continents, places, gmy's, *google eyes*. Anyway, this features my own custom Pokemon, a custom main trainer, and new Team Rocket members. And some parts may be funnier then others. ALOT funnier then others.

Episode 1: I choose you, Hamrole!

As the young 10 year old walked down the dusty dirt road, he looked back at his house, with his mom, dad, and his 8 year old sister waving him good bye. He smiled, and just kept walking to the labarotory of the town to resieve his first Pokemon. He stepped onto the mat that stated 'WElcome Pokemon Trainers!' with a Bulbasaur, a Charmander, and a Squirtel on it. He rang the bell, and heard foot steps coming towards him. Then the door opened and there he was, Proffesor Nogoria. He wore a white lab coat, blue jeans, a brown shirt, had orange hair, and wore glasses.

Prof. Nogoria: Hello, you must be Percy, the new Pokemon trainer just leaving town, right?

Percy: Yup, that's me, doc.

Prof. Nogoria: I've got your first starter Pokemon ready for you to take. You can choose which ever one you want. They are right here.

He pointed to a round table with three Pokeballs on them. They were each in little dented spots for them to sit in and not role of. After a short pick with a game of 'Enny - Menny - Minny - Moe', Percy chose the middle one.

Percy: Can I open it up?

Prof. Nogoria: Well, I guess that wouldn't hurt.

Percy grasped his Pokeball, and through it. It opened up automaticaliy, and out it came: A red hamster. It was probaly only 2"00. It didn't look very heavy either.

Prof. Nogoria: Hmm, looks like you've chosen 'Hamrole'! He's a fire type Hamster Pokemon.

Percy: ...Isn't he just the collest little thing!!

Hamrole: Ham Ham! Role Role!

Percy: He even talks cool, too!

Then Percy noticed the Proffesor hand him a small little red rectangle.

Percy: Errm, what's this?

Prof. Nogoria: That's a 'Pokedex'. It keeps data on all the Pokemon that you discover on your travels. Sense not very many Pokemon have been discovered in this region, we want to record them in a portable memory base. Try it on you're Hamrole.

Percy opened it up, and here's what it said:

Pokedex: Good mornining, I am Bob the Pokedex. New data being received... 'Hamrole, the fire type Hamster pokemon. This Pokemon uses it's small body and light weight in advantage to scurry with agility across the ground. Height: 2"00 Weight: 42 lbs.'

Percy: Wow, I must've picked the right starter Pokemon!

Hamrole: *blush.* Ham - Ham! ^-^

Percy through his pokeball at Hamrole, and Hamrole returned to his ball. He recived his other 5 pokeballs to store 5 more Pokemon.

Prof. Nogoria: If you capture any extra Pokemon, or Pokemon you want me to take care of, just go to the Nearest Pokemon center, any one at all, and ask them to send ths Pokemon to Prof. Nogoria in Heliger town labrotory. Be sure to stay there, I'll return your okeball to you.

Then, as Percy started walking, they saw Hamrole's Pokeball fall down and open up. Hamrole came out, and stared at Percy.

Prof. Nogoria: It seems as though your Hamrole doesn't like It's Pokeball, and it would rather stand by you.

Hamrole: Ham role role! *nod*

Percy: That's perfect, know I'll be able to get to know my first Pokemon! Now come on Hamrole, let's go!

Hamrole: Role Ham! *nod*

Percy and Hamrole opened the door, and ran towards the first town, Ogra village. Proffesor Nogoria watched as he ran down the trail, then walked back into the labarotory.


Know, so you know I'm making sprites of the characters.

Episode 2: New Pokemon on Reghul Path!

Percy and Hamrole had stopped 20 minutues after running away from the labratory because Percy was panting. Hamrole wasn't, because he was a fast pokemon. Percy pulled out some water from his back pack and drank it. Hamrole just looked around. He spotted something move. He ran over to Percy.

Hamrole: Ham Ham!! Role Role!! *point point*

Percy looked over to where he was pointing, but saw nothing.

Percy: What? Did you see something?

Hamrole: Ham Ham! *nod.*

Percy looked around again. Then he looked up above him, and saw a omnkey looking thing jump on his head and cover his eyes.

Percy: GAAHRGH!!!!

Percy ran around screaming 'Get it off!!', when eventually Hamrole shoot a fire blast at the monkey, so it fell over. It also got Percy, so Percy fell over cartoonely. With a black face.

Percy: ...oww...

Percy got up, shook his head off, and pulled out his Pokedex, Bob. He pointed at the monkey and here'swhat he said:

Bob: New data... 'Morgul, the fighting type chimp Pokemon. It is usaully wild, and likes to play tricks on Pokemon trainers. Height: 2"80 Weighs: 78 lbs.'

Percy: Wow! I should catch it while it's weakened and knocked out! Watcha' think Hamrole? Want a new friend?

Hamrole: HAM HAM ROLE!! *nod* ^u^

Percy through his 2nd Pokeball at Morgul, and Morgul went in. Then while Percy walked over to it, the ball shaked and the white round knob went red. Percy stared, as well as Hamrole. Then in a short while, the Pokeball stopped.

Percy: ... I caught my first Pokemon!! YAH!! *jumps up and down )

Hamrole: HAM HAM ROLE ROLE!!! *jumps up and down like Percy )

Percy put his back pack on, and because it was bright out (Which Hamrole loved entirely), he pulled out his hat and put it on. Then he and Hamrole started walking towards Orga village Gym, to battle for his 'Root badge'.

Who ever guesses what type Pokemon the gym leader will use get's there own made up Pokemon in this fan fic. Comments and Critisizm please!

Leon Phelps
11th August 2006, 6:08 PM

I won't even use up any of my jokes with this. Before you consider posting again read the rules and the Advice thread stickied at the top of the fanfic section.

This lacks structure, proper grammar, and description. Try reading the other stories around here and compare it with yours.

Yami Ryu
11th August 2006, 6:09 PM
Okay: One, chapters are supposed to be posted- one to a post. Unless it's a prologue and chapter then it's fine.

Next up, length: This wouldn't even be acceptable if it was FIC format. Characters are also shallow, and something makes me think you know how to write a script and well....

Want to see a truely inspiring script fic? Read Cheshire Cat's script fic. :/ I might not be a good critic for scripts, but I can see when someone wrote up a story in the reply box from a mile away. Or atleast I can tell if it's half assed done and etc.

So go on. Shoo. :/ and actually put some effort into the next damn chapter.

11th August 2006, 9:57 PM

I won't even use up any of my jokes with this. Before you consider posting again read the rules and the Advice thread stickied at the top of the fanfic section.

This lacks structure, proper grammar, and description. Try reading the other stories around here and compare it with yours.

I agree read more. Sheesh...