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View Full Version : Not Another OT Parody (PG-13)



IceKing
19th August 2006, 1:27 AM
I posted this in my livejournal, didnt really like it, but now I like it a bit more. This was one of those spur of the moment things, it's not really meant to be taken seriously or anything. Do feel free to critisize my writing. I've always wanted to write a hardcore OT Parody and I know its getting kinda old now so I just decided to cram this last one through, that was loosely planned to be a part of my dead fic, A Very Special Pokemon.


Oh and don't read this if you have a weak stomach.







Sleep. Slumber. The daily death. A tentacle-flailing beast slowly creeping its way into the skull from the very bowels where it lurks, eager to feast upon the emotions of human beings. The myth of sleep is simply a ruse, a physical attack by the beast as he slowly devours our humanity until one day it can slurp no longer. Some say dreams are the visions of the hidden third eye, stimulated by the beast’s pulsating tentacles. Others say they’re the brain in their fleeting attempt to defeat the beast. Others say that the beast too is a dream, and nothing exists.

But what do dreams and sleep matter? Jimmy Rocheemy was put to bed strictly at 10 PM in the night and didn’t care about much to dream. Except for pokemon. Strong pokemon. Ones with large wings, and mighty claws. Ones that destroy cities with a single blow. And pokemon masterhood. And the occasional girl here and there. For cooties is also a myth. He doesn’t realize it quite yet, the beast still has one of its slimy tentacles wrapped around his libido. A faint sound entered into the realm of dreams, hurling the pokemon and girls back to the void where they belong.

“Jimmy…”

Such a heavenly voice, but why must he listen...the beast’s tentacles are so soft…

”Jimmy…”

The tentacles unfurl, but Jimmy stays. He doesn’t want to leave the beast.

“Jimmy? WAKE UP JIMMY!”

Needless to say, no one cares what Jimmy wants.

Little Jimmy Rocheemy’s un-shockingly bland brown eyes immediately squelched open at the sound of his brainless mother’s high-pitched shriek. Jerking upwards, the boy gave a great big yawn as he rubbed the lingering gunk from his eyelids and shook his head like a wet Poocheyena, the lingering tentacles severing. Jimmy was a rather average looking kid with messy brown hair and normal sized muscles and a good old regular 4’10” height for a ten year old. Before he could even get out of his bed, a tray laden with breakfast food crushed his waist and a spoon full of milky Cheerios pierced its way into his mouth. When he finally saw his mother in her typical apron smiling unnaturally at him, he found himself already halfway done with the bowl Cheerios being spoon-fed to him, and the cholesterol slowly melting away from his heart (or so he believed).

“Mom! Leave me alone, I can eat by myself! Today is the day I get to become a pokemon trainer, right?” Jimmy cried in protest as his mother tried to shove a sixth spoonful of cereal down his throat.

“It sure diddly is, Sweetyumpkins! Just finish up your breakfast, brush your teeth, get ready and I’m sure Professor Treeoflife will still have a pokemon ready for you when you leave!”

“Of course he will, Mom! It’s….OH NO! IT’S ALREADY TEN! I’M THREE HOURS LATE! MOMM, WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP?”

“How am I supposed to know? I set your alarm clock, and I was too busy sitting on the couch staring at the wall to notice that you pressed Snooze ‘til now. Oh well! Now, finish up your grapefruit!”

“No time for grapefruit, Mom! I have to go now, or else I won’t get a pokemon!” Jimmy said, attempting to get out of his bed before finding his mother’s rather soft hand come down fiercely on his leg, pinning him in place.

“I said, finish up your grapefruit,” Mrs. Rocheemy muttered murderously, her green eyes blazing silently. Jimmy gulped in terror; not even an army of Mewtwo could defeat his mother if she demanded that they each ate a grapefruit.

Five minutes later, Jimmy Rocheemy finished his grapefruit, brushed his teeth for two minutes (sixty seconds on the top and sixty seconds on the bottom), used mouth wash, and got dressed in his mother’s hand-picked clothes to be ready in time to get on his bike and pedal as quickly as he could to Professor Treeoflife’s laboratory, conveniently located only a block away.

“PROFESSOR TREEOFLIFE! I’M HERE I’M HERE! ARE THERE STILL ANY POKEMON LEFT!?!?!” Jimmy shouted, rudely running into the building with his mud-covered shoes. He knocked over several aides on his way to the end of the lab where the old professor sat in his desk at his computer, chatting away with a young boy on AIM.

“Oh, hello…ermm, Timmy is it?” Professor Treeoflife greeted, nervously turning his computer monitor away from sight.

“I’m so sorry, Proffesor! I woke up late cos my mom didn’t wake me up, and the alarm clock didn’t work and then I had to eat some grapefruit and use mouthwash, but I’m here now so can I please get my pokemon pretty pretty please!” Jimmy pleaded in one breath, turning redder with each word.

“Calm down now, Timmy! Don’t worry, this seems to happen every single year, so don’t worry there is still one very awesome pokemon left for you to take! Come on down to my cellar with me!” Treeoflife reassured, standing up and patting Jimmy on his back for rather too long.

“The name’s Jimmy, and aren’t the pokeballs over there?” Jimmy huffed, pointing to the small table with three pokeballs.

“Oh…right I suppose.”

They moved over to Pokeball Table where Professor Treeoflife showed Jimmy each pokeball and described the pokemon that was inside it. Or was once inside it.

“This left one contained an Eevee. That sweet-heart darling Patricia who you’ve known since you were four and secretly like took him because he was so cute. The middle one contains a Shiny Larvitar. My tough-guy bully grandson Garth who will most likely be your rival of sorts took it because he was going to become big and strong. And the last one is none other than a Dratini, which was taken by some guy not worth mentioning!” Professor Treeoflife droned, placing the last empty pokeball back on the table and grinning jovially down at Timmy—err Jimmy.

“Uhh, so where’s this pokemon that is supposed to be mine?”

“Oh right, it’s custom to rub the ones that you didn’t get in first…Well, here she is!” The Professor walked over to the garbage bin (loaded to the brim with old Doritos bag) near his computer and pulled out a cheese-stained pokeball from within in and handed it to Jimmy who looked at it rather sadly. Unenthusiastically, Jimmy tossed the pokeball towards the ground, where it released a flying pokeball that looked like it just crawled out of a sewer.

“Spearow! Spearow!”

Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a small, very filthy bird pokemon called Spearow, judging by the name is repeatedly chirped. It hopped around the room, flapping its grimy wings in a half-arsed attempt to fly. One of its eyes was lazy, one of its wings was shorter than the other, and its talons seemed to be covered in its own feces.

“I thought you said this pokemon was going to be very awesome,” Jimmy groaned in annoyance at the rather pathetic looking pokemon that surveyed him for several seconds and shrieking whenever he blinked.

“Oh, but this pokemon is very awesome indeed! For you see, this Spearow has psychic powers! But they can’t be controlled nor will we know what they can do. LOOK! He’s raising my hand right now!” Treeoflife began to raise a quivering hand half-heartedly, and turning magenta as he tried to stop the awesome powers of the Psychic Spearow. “Hey! She just made you blink!”

“Professor, I’m ten years old, not ten months old,” a disgruntled Jimmy spat, surveying his new pokemon with disgust once more, it shrieking with mirth at him blinking once more.

“Kid, either take the pokemon or he’s going down my sink’s garbage disposal.”



*****


“Couldja PLEASE shut up?” Jimmy snapped as the annoying bird that he appropriately deemed “Stanky”. Stanky had burst out into another chirping frenzy at the sight of a Wurmple. He hadn’t bothered to the visit his mother when leaving the laboratory; he just wanted to get his pokemon journey over and down with and go back home to be one of those guys who stands around in his house all day and says one line of dialogue to visiting trainers.

It had been nearly four hours after he received Stanky from Professor Treeoflife, and he was all packed up and ready for his journey! He was riding his bike slowly through the thick Firenze Forest while Stanky flew lop-sided besides him in his attempt to get to Red-orange City, where he would have his first badge battle. His calves were very weak from constant peddling on the upward slope, and finally he decided to walk the rest of the way, miraculously stuffing his bike in his tiny backpack. Surely by the night’s end he would meet his secret love and rival, so his solitude would only be temporarily. After a good fifteen minutes, Stanky finally shut up and there was peaceful, golden silence.

Suddenly, a sudden movement came from one of the nearby bushes, causing the incredibly boredom of the journey to disappear in a flash. Jimmy, magically regaining all his drained energy, instinctively ran towards the bush, where the source of the movement leaped out at him. It was a large, frightening green insect pokemon. It was a 6 foot tall towering menace: a mantis pokemon with powerful joints and very prominent, very long sharp scythes in place of hands. The insect growled maniacally, saliva dripping from his strong jaws as he glared at the boy, signaling with his scythes to get away. Now.

But the stupid boy did not get away. Whereas normal human beings would have run for it long ago, little Jimmy decided to take out his PokeDex and scan the Scyther instead.

“Scyther, the mantis pokemon. Its scythes are really really really really sharp.”

“Oh cool! I’m going to catch this pokemon! Stanky, come over here!” Jimmy declared, not noticing that the Scyther was slowly advancing toward him, his sharp scythes gleaming in the sunlight.

Stanky made no response. Jimmy turned around to yell at the pokemon more, but he was no where in sight. He did not have to wonder where the Spearow went for too long because a loud squawking from overhead signaled that even Stanky had enough sense to get away as quickly as he could. As Jimmy watched the bird disappear into the mask of the clouds (and plummeting soon after), he felt absolutely no pang of pity or no reason to miss the pokemon at all. He would have a new, much more powerful pokemon that would crush Garth and make Patricia swoon all over him.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way! Say, Buddy, how would you like to join me?” Jimmy requisitioned, holding his hand out to the Scyther that was dangerously close to him, snarling down with absolute disgust and bloodlust in his eyes. For a second, he surveyed Jimmy and his cheesy grin and attempt to handshake. In another second, with a quick swipe of his right scythe, the Scyther decapitated poor Jimmy Rocheemy.

The cut was clean, quick, and smooth. Jimmy never even knew what happened, his wide-eyed head fell right off and started to tumble down the slope, probably to be discovered by a very hungry Rattata in a few minutes. His headless body stood there for a few seconds, wobbling slowly as his arms automatically clutched the scarlet-spurting stump that was once a head. Finally, the body of Jimmy fell backwards and just laid there; bleeding itself dry from the stump. A few pieces of bone still jutted from it. Not all that interested in a mutilated carcass, the Scyther gave the body a nice nudge with his foot, and it immediately followed the head in a tumble down the hill, leaving a trail of shimmering blood behind it.

Scyther gave a snort of amusement as he lapped up the blood from his scythe that hadn’t dripped away, leaving it as clean as it was before. There was no evidence to the crime; no one would ever know what he did. He was still quite hungry; the blood of human children was far too sugary for his tastes, and so he returned into the depths of the forest. That Spearow did look like an awfully tasty afternoon snack. The remains of little Jimmy Rocheemy could still be seen at the bottom of the slope, already attracting a great deal of flies. The beast had evaporated; what little brainpower it could absorb was gone forever. Surely enough, a Ratatta crawled by and began to nibble on the once-puffy red cheeks. As he took the first bite, he looked into the soul-less face of the stupid little boy.

He still had the same cheesy smile.







And there you have it, Kiddies. Thanks for reading. And this was based off of a line from Whirl Island Quest, FYI

Bay
19th August 2006, 4:37 AM
I actually enjoyed this one shot very much. I don't know why though. It's probably because of how a lot of readers and reviewers (including me) are a little tired of trainer fics these days. ^O^ Okay, some highlights.


“Jimmy…”

Such a heavenly voice, but why must he listen...the beast’s tentacles are so soft…

”Jimmy…”

The tentacles unfurl, but Jimmy stays. He doesn’t want to leave the beast.

I actually liked the way you describe dreams as a monster. I guess that's why there are times I don't want my dreams to end. XD



Before he could even get out of his bed, a tray laden with breakfast food crushed his waist and a spoon full of milky Cheerios pierced its way into his mouth. When he finally saw his mother in her typical apron smiling unnaturally at him, he found himself already halfway done with the bowl Cheerios being spoon-fed to him, and the cholesterol slowly melting away from his heart (or so he believed).

Yum, Cheerios! Dang, those commericals can get to you, huh? XD I remember this one commerical where this little girl made Cheerios for her parents so that they can be more healthier. Cute commerical. ^^


“It sure diddly is, Sweetyumpkins! Just finish up your breakfast, brush your teeth, get ready and I’m sure Professor Treeoflife will still have a pokemon ready for you when you leave!”

Man, the professor names need to be more original like "Bob" or "George"! XD


“I said, finish up your grapefruit,” Mrs. Rocheemy muttered murderously, her green eyes blazing silently. Jimmy gulped in terror; not even an army of Mewtwo could defeat his mother if she demanded that they each ate a grapefruit.

Hehe, I can imagine that scene: a whole army of Mewtwo trying to go against Jimmy's mom, but she is just too powerful! XD


“Scyther, the mantis pokemon. Its scythes are really really really really sharp.”

Hehe, that is good information! ^O^

Yeah, good job on that fic. Man, I need to finish reading Whirl Island Quest!

;134;~Good night, and good luck~

icemew
19th August 2006, 4:44 AM
Funny, and your description of the dream (and the rest of it) was awesome. Poor Spearow though, always getting cast as crappy pokemon.

PDL
19th August 2006, 4:47 AM
Damn you Icekings! I was going to post an OT parody![/e-drama]

seriously, it's pretty good oneshot, you managed to hit nearly all the cliches present in OT fics, which is a plus, although the ending was somewhat predictible with Scyther... it would have been much funnier if it was a normally harmless pokemon that killed Billy... or Jimmy... or whatever his name was.

Hahahabvc87
19th August 2006, 6:20 AM
XD

That's easily the funniest parody I have read in a while!


“I said, finish up your grapefruit,” Mrs. Rocheemy muttered murderously, her green eyes blazing silently. Jimmy gulped in terror; not even an army of Mewtwo could defeat his mother if she demanded that they each ate a grapefruit.

Grapefruit FTW!


“Kid, either take the pokemon or he’s going down my sink’s garbage disposal.”

I think it would have been better if the poor spearow got trashed! :p


“Well, I guess I’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way! Say, Buddy, how would you like to join me?” Jimmy requisitioned, holding his hand out to the Scyther that was dangerously close to him, snarling down with absolute disgust and bloodlust in his eyes. For a second, he surveyed Jimmy and his cheesy grin and attempt to handshake. In another second, with a quick swipe of his right scythe, the Scyther decapitated poor Jimmy Rocheemy.

XDDD His n00bness sure cost him! Too bad he won't be able to learn that lesson...


Surely enough, a Ratatta crawled by and began to nibble on the once-puffy red cheeks. As he took the first bite, he looked into the soul-less face of the stupid little boy.

He still had the same cheesy smile.
Looks like we get the last laugh!

Draco Malfoy
19th August 2006, 9:51 AM
O.O I'm speechless. You may take that as a compliment. Or an insult. But either way, I got to say, this is one heck of a parody; it's as hilarious as a dellusional mouse on steroids. Or as funny as Paris Hilton futilely attempting to make another homemade video but this time aimed at little children. Or as the schemeing Wakana with her 'ways' again. Or as funny as what ever you deem as the funniest. Nearly every fic in the fanfiction section is some kind of Adventure/Journey Fic, whether it is a Jynx trying to find a mate in futile, another cliche stupid OT fic or even a Magikarp trying to learn how to fly all I care, and it is getting really annoying. I thank you for relieving my pain by mocking some of these even at times God Awful OT fics. And this fic is really hilarious! XD ROFL. You managed to hit nearly all the typical sterotypical cliches of OT fics and did it in good poise, hilarious manner and mocking tone! You manage to crack me up in nearly every paragraph! Well done! This is one heck of a good parody!

IceKing
19th August 2006, 11:56 PM
Fwee...reviews!

Bay



I actually enjoyed this one shot very much. I don't know why though. It's probably because of how a lot of readers and reviewers (including me) are a little tired of trainer fics these days. ^O^ Okay, some highlights.


I love trainer fics, I don't even mind some of the more unoriginal ones as long as they have some difference. What annoys me is badly written unoriginal ones


I actually liked the way you describe dreams as a monster. I guess that's why there are times I don't want my dreams to end. XD

That was just a vent of inspiration caused by me finishing God of Small Things XD


Yum, Cheerios! Dang, those commericals can get to you, huh? XD I remember this one commerical where this little girl made Cheerios for her parents so that they can be more healthier. Cute commerical. ^^

I love that one!


Man, the professor names need to be more original like "Bob" or "George"! XD

Or Fred


Hehe, I can imagine that scene: a whole army of Mewtwo trying to go against Jimmy's mom, but she is just too powerful! XD

And armed with grapefruit


Hehe, that is good information! ^O^

Yeah, good job on that fic. Man, I need to finish reading Whirl Island Quest!


And I need to finish reading Heart of the Sea

Icemew



Funny, and your description of the dream (and the rest of it) was awesome. Poor Spearow though, always getting cast as crappy pokemon.

It was originally a Pidgey, but I like Spearow more. I always caught one for G/S/C

PDL


Damn you Icekings! I was going to post an OT parody![/e-drama]

Hence, Not Another OT Parody


seriously, it's pretty good oneshot, you managed to hit nearly all the cliches present in OT fics, which is a plus, although the ending was somewhat predictible with Scyther... it would have been much funnier if it was a normally harmless pokemon that killed Billy... or Jimmy... or whatever his name was.

I suppose *imagines Jigglypuff burning his face off with flamethrower*, but I really wanted to do a bloody decapitation by Scyther XD

Hahaha


That's easily the funniest parody I have read in a while!


Whoo!


I think it would have been better if the poor spearow got trashed!


My three most favorite methods of execution: Ovens, Blenders, and Sink Disposals. A friend and I caught a fish and then put it in a pot int he sink and when we came back it was gone...so it had to have gone down the drain XD Needless to say, we turned on the sink disposal


XDDD His n00bness sure cost him! Too bad he won't be able to learn that lesson...

Maybe in a future life


Masterwannabe



O.O I'm speechless. You may take that as a compliment. Or an insult. But either way, I got to say, this is one heck of a parody; it's as hilarious as a dellusional mouse on steroids. Or as funny as Paris Hilton futilely attempting to make another homemade video but this time aimed at little children. Or as the schemeing Wakana with her 'ways' again. Or as funny as what ever you deem as the funniest. Nearly every fic in the fanfiction section is some kind of Adventure/Journey Fic, whether it is a Jynx trying to find a mate in futile, another cliche stupid OT fic or even a Magikarp trying to learn how to fly all I care, and it is getting really annoying. I thank you for relieving my pain by mocking some of these even at times God Awful OT fics. And this fic is really hilarious! XD ROFL. You managed to hit nearly all the typical sterotypical cliches of OT fics and did it in good poise, hilarious manner and mocking tone! You manage to crack me up in nearly every paragraph! Well done! This is one heck of a good parody!

Now MW, not all OT fics are that bad XD

And I'm glad you thought I succeeded in the mocking tone, that's what I was shooting for



Thanks for reviewing

Sike Saner
20th August 2006, 5:12 AM
Fweeeeeeeeeee! ^^

Funny, smart, and best of all, MORBID! ^^ That was a fun read right there, seriously. First off, Stanky—I loved that decrepit little bird, who was so nasty that it was kind of endearing. But mostly just amusing—I love reading about gross characters. XD Oh, and speaking of nasty, how about that pervy Professor? Ewww…XD

Of course, the ending was easily my favorite part. What can I say, I like a little bloodspray. ^^ And yeah, that’s almost certainly exactly what a silly little kid trainer would get if he stood around gawking at a GIANT FREAKING MANTIS and tried to shake its hand…er, scythe. XD

Favorite excerpts and et cetera:


Jimmy Rocheemy was put to bed strictly at 10 PM in the night and didn’t care about much to dream. Except for pokemon. Strong pokemon. Ones with large wings, and mighty claws. Ones that destroy cities with a single blow. And pokemon masterhood. And the occasional girl here and there. For cooties is also a myth.

It always amuses me to see the word “cooties” in text.


A faint sound entered into the realm of dreams, hurling the pokemon and girls back to the void where they belong.

I think I just like the fact that “pokemon and girls” and “back to the void where they belong” occur together there. That just makes me chuckle for some odd reason.


When he finally saw his mother in her typical apron smiling unnaturally at him, he found himself already halfway done with the bowl Cheerios being spoon-fed to him, and the cholesterol slowly melting away from his heart (or so he believed).

XD Yeah. We all know that all that heart-healthy stuff was just concocted and plastered on the box to sell more Cheerios.


How am I supposed to know? I set your alarm clock, and I was too busy sitting on the couch staring at the wall to notice that you pressed Snooze ‘til now.

That got a bigger laugh out of me than anything else in this. XDDDD


He knocked over several aides on his way to the end of the lab where the old professor sat in his desk at his computer, chatting away with a young boy on AIM.


“Calm down now, Timmy! Don’t worry, this seems to happen every single year, so don’t worry there is still one very awesome pokemon left for you to take! Come on down to my cellar with me!” Treeoflife reassured, standing up and patting Jimmy on his back for rather too long.

“The name’s Jimmy, and aren’t the pokeballs over there?” Jimmy huffed, pointing to the small table with three pokeballs.

“Oh…right I suppose.”


PERV ALERT! The Professor is going to end up on one of those Dateline specials if he doesn’t cut that crap out. XD


Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a small, very filthy bird pokemon called Spearow, judging by the name is repeatedly chirped. It hopped around the room, flapping its grimy wings in a half-arsed attempt to fly. One of its eyes was lazy, one of its wings was shorter than the other, and its talons seemed to be covered in its own feces.

Oh my God, that has got to be the sorriest, most revolting little Spearow ever. XD Great job describing Stanky there.


“Oh, but this pokemon is very awesome indeed! For you see, this Spearow has psychic powers! But they can’t be controlled nor will we know what they can do. LOOK! He’s raising my hand right now!” Treeoflife began to raise a quivering hand half-heartedly, and turning magenta as he tried to stop the awesome powers of the Psychic Spearow. “Hey! She just made you blink!”

Wow. XD


He hadn’t bothered to the visit his mother when leaving the laboratory; he just wanted to get his pokemon journey over and down with and go back home to be one of those guys who stands around in his house all day and says one line of dialogue to visiting trainers.

I’d always wondered what the story was behind all those guys. XD


“Scyther, the mantis pokemon. Its scythes are really really really really sharp.”

It’s the ObviousDex! XDD I so want one… o_o


“Well, I guess I’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way! Say, Buddy, how would you like to join me?” Jimmy requisitioned, holding his hand out to the Scyther that was dangerously close to him, snarling down with absolute disgust and bloodlust in his eyes. For a second, he surveyed Jimmy and his cheesy grin and attempt to handshake. In another second, with a quick swipe of his right scythe, the Scyther decapitated poor Jimmy Rocheemy.

YES! MURDER! W00T! *stands and applauds for several moments*


As he took the first bite, he looked into the soul-less face of the stupid little boy.

He still had the same cheesy smile.

God, that makes me smile. Especially the “soul-less face of the stupid little boy” part. ^____^


I really needed something to calm my frayed nerves tonight, and the tale of a young boy being brutally decapitated was just what the doctor ordered. ^^

PS: Aw man, I wish that “>=)” had been one of the poll options! XD

Quackerdrill
21st August 2006, 3:45 AM
Man, Icee- Duuude, how do you get so much time for writing awesomeness? XD I really enjoyed this. Better than ToaLSD, IMO. (That's a ton of letters right there. Hmph.) Anyhoo, You hit all the cliches with that Iceking accuracy; I especially liked the Pokemon choice scene... that Spearow is something, alright. >_< I have a feeling we'll see this character again down the line.

You keep on doing this awesome, borderline creepy humor that just knocks me off my feet every time- kudos. It's so unique that it's own uniqueness adds to the comedy... if that makes sense. I do believe you improved on your description since the last time, though it's not really important in something like this. And Professor Treeoflife? Brilliant. Sometime soon they're gonna run out of puns for the professors, I know it. XD

Not meant to be taken seriously? What is these days? Well, great job Icee. I'd love to see more.

...er, more like "I'm probably obligated to read WIQ now". XD

Saffire Persian
21st August 2006, 5:58 AM
Ohh, I remember this. I enjoyed reading about Jimmy getting decapitated by the Scyther, but I love the PSychic Spearow best, mostly because Professosr TreeofLife is hilarious. Ah, you also referred to teh Spearow as a "he" once.

>.>

I'm not in a reviewing mood, but this typo was hilarious:


Unenthusiastically, Jimmy tossed the pokeball towards the ground, where it released a flying pokeball that looked like it just crawled out of a sewer.


:D *looks at what the Pokéball just released* I want one too, Dad!

Ah, and as Sike mentioned, I want an Obviousdex.

I already know what Meowth's would be:

Meowth:

A Cute and Cuddly Pokémon with fangs and claws.

:D

Edit : Kick butt poll, BTW. XD You speak my language.

Tale
21st August 2006, 6:02 PM
I'm actually gonna review good an proper this time!

*Ahem* I loved it, as always! It was such an accurate parody, too, it was very clever, I thought. I noticed, after reading it all as a One-Shot instead of a chaptered fic, that the fact that the journey ended before he even reached Veridian is also very much like many OT fics, because thats where they usually stop too! ... no? Just me then? Ok...

Well anyway, it was a very clever idea, even if (suggested by the very title of the one shot) it's been done before. I've never read an OT parody before myself, so this was new for me. This one is bound to be particular in its popularity though, because it was written by you! A guy noted for his comedic talents, you've got a bit of an advantage there. Oh yeah, and of course, there was a few 'Scarlet Christmas'-y bits near the end - what with the blood-spurting head-stump and the bloodthirsty Scyther. XD you sure do make a good black comedy, Fenit, I can tell you that.

Favourite bits of this fic included the names, of course, 'Treeoflife' made me lol, as well as 'Stanky'. I love that name so much XD.

A bit of a random statement, butthe whole breakfast scene made me want some grapefruit o.o and I hate it. Its just the name, and the colour, so appetizing...

Anyway, the characters were awesome. Treeoflife the poedophile, or however you spell it, *shudders*, Jimmy's crazy robotic mom whos there for the sole purpose of waking him up and acting over-joyfully. And of course skanky Stanky the sewer bird.

I dont know about that dream-monster bit at the beginning though. Was that like a parody of the bundles of description used to set the scene before every OT fic? Thats how I took it, anyways. Otherwise, it was pretty damn random XP. It was good though, VERY imaginative and a great use of imagery, even if it was there for the purpose of comedy =P. Actually, its like another hint of horror, with all the tentacles and stuff, tentacles are horror-like, right?

As always, your dialogue is flawless, you can really picture the expressions of the characters just through the way that they're speaking, you can really get me laughing with some of the things your characters say and do. They really are what make this one-shot, and most of your one-shots for that matter.

Anyway, just because I wanted to prove that I CAN be intricate and useful when I review, I gathered up loads and loads of quotes (took up TWO pages of word!). I know that pointing out typos is a little redundant, especially since this is a one-shot and its not like you're gonna bother with the little typos it has, but I thought I'd point them out anyway, just because I want to prove that I took a detailed look XD. Maybe its out of guilt for struggling to review your fics, I dont know. Anyway, not all of the quotes are typos, I also thought I'd quote bits I liked =P. Ok...


*brace yourself*



MOMM, WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP?

A typo!



“PROFESSOR TREEOFLIFE! I’M HERE I’M HERE!

I think a comma has to be inserted between the first and second ‘I’m here’.



chatting away with a young boy on AIM.

o.o Oh no.



“The name’s Jimmy, and aren’t the pokeballs over there?”

*Phew!*



That sweet-heart darling Patricia who you’ve known since you were four and secretly like took him because he was so cute.

XD secretly like. Oh, and I think Sweet-heart can actually be one whole word ^^.



“Oh right, it’s custom to rub the ones that you didn’t get in first

I think that should be customary. ‘It’s’ has to change to ‘Its’ otherwise, then it doesn’t make sense and a big, pointless mess occurs =(.



cheese-stained pokeball from within in

Within it.



Jimmy tossed the pokeball towards the ground, where it released a flying pokeball that looked like it just crawled out of a sewer.

XO Jimmy got a FLYING Pokeball! I think it should be ‘Pokemon’ =P.



flapping its grimy wings in a half-arsed attempt to fly.

I could SWEAR only British people used ‘half-arsed’! OMG You’re turning British! WOOH!



and its talons seemed to be covered in its own feces.

*Pukes* DX.



For you see, this Spearow has psychic powers!

XDXD I remember this Spearow now! You told me about him once...



Treeoflife began to raise a quivering hand half-heartedly, and turning magenta as he tried to stop the awesome powers of the Psychic Spearow.

I think theres some tense confusion there. But I loled at this part XD.



deemed “Stanky”. Stanky had burst

XD I loled.



He hadn’t bothered to the visit his mother when leaving the laboratory

I don’t think ‘the’ was needed.



Red-orange City

XD nice.



so his solitude would only be temporarily.

I think it should be ‘temporary’.



Suddenly, a sudden movement came from one of the nearby bushes, causing the incredibly boredom

You used the same adjective twice, and I think ‘incredibly’ should be ‘incredible’.



It was a 6 foot tall towering menace

xoxo You said 6!



signaling with his scythes to get away. Now.

XD I loled again.



“Scyther, the mantis pokemon. Its scythes are really really really really sharp.”

Another lol XD.



Stanky, come over here!

XD Stanky, I love that name.



but he was no where in sight

‘No where’ can be one word.



the Scyther decapitated poor Jimmy Rocheemy.

XD that was so IK-style.



his arms automatically clutched the scarlet-spurting stump that was once a head.

XDXD Goodness, how gruesome!



That Spearow did look like an awfully tasty afternoon snack

Yuck! Is he honestly talking about Stanky?? That’s what I call exotic tastes…



He still had the same cheesy smile

WAAAAHH! *Runs away*

IceKing
22nd August 2006, 2:33 AM
Sike

Dude, I love your reviews. They always make me laugh


Fweeeeeeeeeee! ^^

Funny, smart, and best of all, MORBID! ^^ That was a fun read right there, seriously. First off, Stanky—I loved that decrepit little bird, who was so nasty that it was kind of endearing. But mostly just amusing—I love reading about gross characters. XD Oh, and speaking of nasty, how about that pervy Professor? Ewww…XD

Smart XD? Interesting word choice there. I got the name Stanky from Bart's Elephant


Of course, the ending was easily my favorite part. What can I say, I like a little bloodspray. ^^ And yeah, that’s almost certainly exactly what a silly little kid trainer would get if he stood around gawking at a GIANT FREAKING MANTIS and tried to shake its hand…er, scythe. XD


Who doesn't love a little blood?


I think I just like the fact that “pokemon and girls” and “back to the void where they belong” occur together there. That just makes me chuckle for some odd reason.

I liked that one too


XD Yeah. We all know that all that heart-healthy stuff was just concocted and plastered on the box to sell more Cheerios.

Ive eaten Cheerios and Salisbury Steak smoothies for seven years and my cholestrol is still through the roof!


That got a bigger laugh out of me than anything else in this. XDDDD

My mom does stuff loosely based that. Just today she said "I yelled Fenit from downstairs and you said yes and went back to sleep. What was I supposed to do?"


PERV ALERT! The Professor is going to end up on one of those Dateline specials if he doesn’t cut that crap out. XD

DUDE! I love those specials. To Catch a Predator... It's fun seeing them come in naked


Oh my God, that has got to be the sorriest, most revolting little Spearow ever. XD Great job describing Stanky there.


I particularly liked the lazy eye. I should change it to googly though


I’d always wondered what the story was behind all those guys. XD

I also wonder how those ugly bald guys in Hoenn got those hot mommas


It’s the ObviousDex! XDD I so want one… o_o

That made me crack up XD


God, that makes me smile. Especially the “soul-less face of the stupid little boy” part. ^____^

Glad to know brutal murder has that effect on you ^^


I really needed something to calm my frayed nerves tonight, and the tale of a young boy being brutally decapitated was just what the doctor ordered. ^^

PS: Aw man, I wish that “>=)” had been one of the poll options! XD

Aww, I knew I forgot something! Aww well, glad this made you feel better! You can survive PC, don't worry!

Quacky


Man, Icee- Duuude, how do you get so much time for writing awesomeness? XD I really enjoyed this. Better than ToaLSD, IMO. (That's a ton of letters right there. Hmph.) Anyhoo, You hit all the cliches with that Iceking accuracy; I especially liked the Pokemon choice scene... that Spearow is something, alright. >_< I have a feeling we'll see this character again down the line.

I don't get much time to write this stuff, I write like once a month XD I managed to do this in one sitting though when I got tired of American Histroy notes. Glad to know you loved this one, pity that this was better than ToaLSD since it was half-arsed XD And yes, that Spearow should appear again


You keep on doing this awesome, borderline creepy humor that just knocks me off my feet every time- kudos. It's so unique that it's own uniqueness adds to the comedy... if that makes sense. I do believe you improved on your description since the last time, though it's not really important in something like this. And Professor Treeoflife? Brilliant. Sometime soon they're gonna run out of puns for the professors, I know it. XD

Creepy humor is the best! ToaLSD wasnt meant to have much description at all which is why this one is better. And yeah, there are only a few hundred thousand types of trees out there. Tree of Life is the first documented!


Not meant to be taken seriously? What is these days? Well, great job Icee. I'd love to see more.

...er, more like "I'm probably obligated to read WIQ now". XD

Yes, yes you are. Now start reading!

Saffire Persian


Ohh, I remember this. I enjoyed reading about Jimmy getting decapitated by the Scyther, but I love the PSychic Spearow best, mostly because Professosr TreeofLife is hilarious. Ah, you also referred to teh Spearow as a "he" once.

>.>

Who doesn't love Stanky and Treeoflife. I oughta write a fic about Professor TreeofLife



:D *looks at what the Pokéball just released* I want one too, Dad!

Crud :D


Ah, and as Sike mentioned, I want an Obviousdex.

I already know what Meowth's would be:

Meowth:

A Cute and Cuddly Pokémon with fangs and claws.

:D

Or Jynx

A pokemon forged out of the kinkiest fantasies of the Shijera Matamooso w/e guy


Edit : Kick butt poll, BTW. XD You speak my language.

Indeed I do


Tale


I'm actually gonna review good an proper this time!

*Ahem* I loved it, as always! It was such an accurate parody, too, it was very clever, I thought. I noticed, after reading it all as a One-Shot instead of a chaptered fic, that the fact that the journey ended before he even reached Veridian is also very much like many OT fics, because thats where they usually stop too! ... no? Just me then? Ok...


Your other reviews were plenty proper! Actually, I wasn't really parodying them ending before they can even start...but I will say that I did =D


Well anyway, it was a very clever idea, even if (suggested by the very title of the one shot) it's been done before. I've never read an OT parody before myself, so this was new for me. This one is bound to be particular in its popularity though, because it was written by you! A guy noted for his comedic talents, you've got a bit of an advantage there. Oh yeah, and of course, there was a few 'Scarlet Christmas'-y bits near the end - what with the blood-spurting head-stump and the bloodthirsty Scyther. XD you sure do make a good black comedy, Fenit, I can tell you that.


Oh I am not that famous. I do think this is the first OT Parody to actual kill off its charachter. And yes, I absolutely positively ADORE black comedy, being a sadist


Favourite bits of this fic included the names, of course, 'Treeoflife' made me lol, as well as 'Stanky'. I love that name so much XD.

A bit of a random statement, butthe whole breakfast scene made me want some grapefruit o.o and I hate it. Its just the name, and the colour, so appetizing...

Anyway, the characters were awesome. Treeoflife the poedophile, or however you spell it, *shudders*, Jimmy's crazy robotic mom whos there for the sole purpose of waking him up and acting over-joyfully. And of course skanky Stanky the sewer bird.


Pedophile* Really? I hate grape fruit. Skanky Stanky XD?


I dont know about that dream-monster bit at the beginning though. Was that like a parody of the bundles of description used to set the scene before every OT fic? Thats how I took it, anyways. Otherwise, it was pretty damn random XP. It was good though, VERY imaginative and a great use of imagery, even if it was there for the purpose of comedy =P. Actually, its like another hint of horror, with all the tentacles and stuff, tentacles are horror-like, right?


I'll tell you a secret: that scene meant ABSOLUTELY NOTHING XD I was just venting out my post-God of Small Things writing style


As always, your dialogue is flawless, you can really picture the expressions of the characters just through the way that they're speaking, you can really get me laughing with some of the things your characters say and do. They really are what make this one-shot, and most of your one-shots for that matter.

o.o, thank you! Never recieved that compliment before



Anyway, just because I wanted to prove that I CAN be intricate and useful when I review, I gathered up loads and loads of quotes (took up TWO pages of word!). I know that pointing out typos is a little redundant, especially since this is a one-shot and its not like you're gonna bother with the little typos it has, but I thought I'd point them out anyway, just because I want to prove that I took a detailed look XD. Maybe its out of guilt for struggling to review your fics, I dont know. Anyway, not all of the quotes are typos, I also thought I'd quote bits I liked =P. Ok...


Everyone has different reviewing styles, you dont need quotes XD I was more than happy with the regular text!


To all the quotes

Sorry, I can't be arsed (only say this to bypass censor) to respond to them all! Thanks for pointing out the typos, Ill try and fix them soon!




Thanks for the reviews everybody! I love you all! Especially Saffire Persian *wink wink, nudge nudge*


....*Burnt Flower appears over head with chainsaw*


PLATONIC LOVE! ...eep




...This response was longer than the one-shot XD

Brian Powell
29th August 2006, 1:02 PM
*Applauds* Aww… that was brilliant! I haven’t had a good laugh from a fic for a while. *glares evilly at you*. The characters in were brilliant, in particular, Jimmy (may he rest in peace) and the moment when his awesome turned out to be a Spearow from a garbage can and Treeoflife tried to convince him how ‘awesome’ he could, those moments cracked me up.

Other moments I liked…


“I said, finish up your grapefruit,” Mrs. Rocheemy muttered murderously, her green eyes blazing silently. Jimmy gulped in terror; not even an army of Mewtwo could defeat his mother if she demanded that they each ate a grapefruit.
I like this kind of picture. XD I wonder if the mother had been in the army and instead of having her men go into battle, she had them eating those things.


“Well, I guess I’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way! Say, Buddy, how would you like to join me?” Jimmy requisitioned, holding his hand out to the Scyther that was dangerously close to him, snarling down with absolute disgust and bloodlust in his eyes. For a second, he surveyed Jimmy and his cheesy grin and attempt to handshake. In another second, with a quick swipe of his right scythe, the Scyther decapitated poor Jimmy Rocheemy.
You’re a doh-boy, Jimmy… a dead doh-boy. --’

“Scyther, the mantis pokemon. Its scythes are really really really really sharp.”
Duh! XD


As he took the first bite, he looked into the soul-less face of the stupid little boy.

He still had the same cheesy smile.
o_o’ Freaky...

Overall score: 5/5