View Full Version : Pocket Monsters Chronicles (rewrite) PG-14
4th October 2004, 5:14 AM
Welcome. Whether you're new, or an old fan that wishes to read my rewritten version, I hope everybody who comes here enjoys my work. Before you read PMC, though, there are some things that I should make clear to you here and now (mostly for new readers, but old ones might want to read the last eight notes since they specify to the rewrite).
-Let me say this right now, if you're turned off by typical trainer fics, this will look like one for a while at the beginning. However, I can assure you that the storyline changes severely later on, things will become very dark. Please, let me ask that you don't stray away from my fic immediately.
-Also, if you're turned off by script formats, I can assure you mine is very descriptive and well-done. I even PMed Feather Dancer for approval before posting this.
-I will try to update this weekly, but I can get occupied quite easily, and I have college now, so I'm not making any promises.
-For those curious of origins, Pocket Monsters Chronicles was originally conceived as a doujinshi manga by my little brother, who has the screen name Hiro (same as the main character). However, he couldn't scan the pages, time passed, and he got friggin lazy over the whole thing. He allowed me to write it on serebii.net as a fanfic. While some of the original concept of his story is still there, I rewrote a lot of it.
-I only recently discovered that scripted fics are allowed on these forums, so I'm taking the opportunity to rewrite it in such a format. It would be for the best since, as I said, this was originally conceived as a doujinshi.
-This fanfic does not use the English names from the American version of Pokemon, Pocket Monsters Chronicles uses Japanese names from the original Pocket Monsters series. So you don't get confused, I'll put a list of Japanese names compared to English ones before every chapter. Some Japanese names I will translate (ex. Mizu Deppou to Water Gun), but if you're curious as to how they're said in Japanese, I'll put a list like that along with the name notes. I'll also use a bit of Japanese culture in this fic and make notes of that (as well as notes of certain inside jokes or scientific facts not everyone would know of), however, unlike the name notes, the cultural notes will go at the bottom of the post. Unless you want to do a lot of back-tracking, I highly suggest you remember these notes, because I won't reuse them in future chapters.
-The PG-14 rating is there for a reason. There is some strong language, violence, sexual situations, etc., especially later on in the story.
-Aside from being scripted now, I'm also making some slight changes to the story, putting in some more detail, character background, etc.
-For those familiar with the previous version, I should announce that I have decided to translate some of the Japanese terms. However, in case you're interested to know how they're said in Japanese, I inserted a list between the Pokemon Name Comparisons and the Notes called "How To Say It In Japanese". Also, I'm keeping in the name suffixes.
-I know I've said this takes place in the anime continuity with some changes, but I decided to ditch that entirely. It takes place in an entirely different continuity, but there are some similarities and cameos to the anime world. Also, the world is a bit more futuristic, kinda like the one in Toshihiro Ono's Dengeki Pikachu manga. I'll also have little things from said manga such as a holographic Pokemon Zukan (Pokedex).
-If you're interested in looking at the previous version, it can be found at http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=86 . If you hate spoilers, I wouldn't recommend this for obvious reasons.
-I'm also posting this fic at Bulbagarden and Pokecommunity. I also have the old version somewhere in the depths of fanfiction.net, but due to lack of reviews there (didn't even get one, actually), I decided to just abandon that.
-To those who remember me saying this on the old thread, let me formally apologize that it turns out rewriting all this will take longer than I originally thought, so you will have to wait a while to see the story continue from where it left off. Once again, I'm very sorry.
-Please review, rate, and advertise this fic however you can. I left off the old thread with over 2800 views and a rating of 4.57 out of a total 7 votes (one vote being my own, admittedly). I really would like to see my fic reach this kind of status again, see more people reading my fic. If you're gonna review my fic, may I request you try to find a time of the day when you think lots of people seem to be viewing? Doing so would bump it up to the first page for more people to see. That'd help me out a lot. I won't threaten to stop this fic if you don't review, but I would be glad to see them. Also, please post an actual review instead of spam.
-So everyone knows, つづく (read as "tsudzuku") means "to be continued".
-Unlike the old thread, I will be editting this first post to list updates.
4/24/05- posted chapter 15.
4/17/05- posted chapter 14.
4/11/05- posted chapter 13.
03/20/05- posted chapter 12.
03/01/05- posted chapter 11.
02/14/05- posted chapter 10.
01/07/05- posted chapter 9.
12/24/04- posted chapter 8.
12/20/04- put in Japanese titles and replaced "END OF CHAPTER" with "つづく" in all previous chapters and will continue doing so for future chapters.
12/18/04- posted chapter 7.
12/11/04- posted chapter 6.
11/27/04- posted chapter 5.
11/07/04- posted chapter 4.
11/04/04- to all the artists out there, please consider looking here (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?p=836886#post836886).
10/31/04- posted chapter 3.
10/24/04- posted chapter 2.
10/23/04- poll results: I'm not going through with it on this forum.
10/17/04- please go to this poll (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=37798).
10/03/04- posted thread and chapter 1.
4th October 2004, 5:18 AM
here's the first chapter. If you're an old reader, you might notice quite a few changes. I hope no one feels too strongly about such changes. Anyway, enjoy, and please rate and review.
Edit: I asked a question here, but it's been confirmed now. In case you're curious, I wanted to know if three of the Kimono sisters were named Kome, Sumono, and Tameo, or Koume, Sumomo, and Tamao (that latter ones are correct). Thanks goes to Ketsuban on Bulbagarden forums for this.
-Enju City=Ecruteak City
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Kimono Sisters=Kimono Shimai
CHAPTER 1: THE MYSTERIOUS EIEVUI
[Sitting at a desk, a silhouette types on a labtop. The room appears a bit dark and empty.]
Narration: "I've been staying with my sisters for the past few days. I don't have much to do at the moment, so..."
[A look at the keyboard shows that only one hand, what appears to be a left one, is typing.]
Narration: "To pass the time, I've decided to chronicle my recent events, all the interesting things that have occured with me lately. I am the Pokemon trainer of Enju City, Kimono Hiro. My blood type is AB and I was born December 12th in 4084 going by the years since human records have begun, making me a Sagittarius. This is my story."
[The hand punches in another key before the scene changes to the outside of a school building, and then again to the inside of a classroom. The teacher, a tall man with short, black hair, writes on a blackboard while all the students are sitting in their chairs. The boys in the class are wearing gray suits with buttons down the middle of the shirt. The girls are wearing dark blue, knee-length skirts. All of them are focusing on the teacher, except for one boy with short, purple hair. Instead of the teacher, his eyes are looking down at an open manga that he's slightly pulling out from his desk. The contents of the manga that the boy's looking at involves a cute, blue, raptor-like creature with 2 black and red-striped horns on the back of its head in some kind of battle. While the boy's en-tranced in the book, he's unable to notice the teacher walking up to his side and striking him on the head with his teacher's guide.]
Boy: "OWW!!" [Drops manga and holds his head in pain.]
Teacher: "Pay attention, Kimono!"
Hiro (narration): "That's me, the one the teacher just scolded. I'm not usually a goof-off, but this particular class is an exception. A Pokemon trainer's minimum age is 10, but after that age, people who stay in school can take the chance to learn more advanced trainer skills as their choice of extracurricular activities. That's what this class is for, teaching more than the minimum requirements about the creatures in our world, Pokemon, and how to capture, raise, and battle them."
[Hiro rubs his head, picks his manga off the floor and puts it away in his desk, then sighs out a mushroom-shaped cloud before looking at the blackboard and the teacher.]
Hiro (narration): "Being 14, I'm well past the minimum trainer's age. However, I've never been interested in becoming a trainer. I only chose this class because my family was persistant and they expect me to have my own Pokemon some day. The class itself isn't difficult, just very boring. However, one other class is very difficult on me."
[The scene changes to the inside of that same classroom, but instead of the same teacher, there's a different one. This one has gray hair combed over his head and squinty eyes, and he appears to be standing next to Hiro's desk to yell at him.]
Hiro (narration): "This is my literature class. The teacher there yells at me a lot because he doesn't believe me about my family. Every time I write an essay about them, he scolds me for being a liar."
[The teacher continues to yell at Hiro.]
Hiro (narration): "There is a reason it's so hard to believe who my family is, though. It consists of my grandfather and my 5 older sisters."
[The scene changes to show a tall woman with indigo-colored hair that extends to her mid-back, a lavender shirt, and a black dress reaching to her ankles. She looks down at a Thunders that stands next to her and smiles.]
Hiro (narration): "This is my eldest sister, Satsuki. She's able to relate to all of her siblings pretty nicely and is usually one to be very pleased when company comes over. Overall, she's an extremely social person. Likewise, her Thunders enjoys her company and is always there for her to talk to when nobody else is around."
[The scene changes to show a woman with brown hair cut at the shoulders, a white t-shirt, and red bloomers. She points her right index finger forward as a Booster in front of her tackles a punching bag, then back-kicks it.]
Hiro (narration): "My second eldest sister, Koume, is a very competitive person. In her free time, she trains her Booster to be the best fighter it can be."
[The scene changes to show another woman. This one has wavy, waiste-length hair that's light green in coloring and she wears a white summer gown. She sits on the edge of a pier at the side of a lake, gently paddling her bare feet in the water. In front of her, a Showers peaks its head above the lake's surface, then sprays water into the girl's face.]
Hiro (narration): "Sumomo's very gentle and peace-loving, but at the same time, she's very playful. She proves to be a clear-thinking strategist in the games she plays. Her energetic Showers usually gets bored when she's not playing water sports with it, but it manages to entertain itself through other methods."
[A young man walks past a woman with waiste-length lavender hair and a slim, crimson dress. The man stops when the woman's seen moving her mouth, supposedly talking, causing the man to turn his head towards her. She continues talking until the man blushes and runs away, leaving behind the woman, who's now laughing. She stops, though, before she looks down at her leg to see a Blackie biting it in anger.]
Hiro (narration): "Sneaky and devilish are words fitting for Tamao. She's somehow able to find out embarassing secrets and has even extorted a few people with such knowledge. She's a bit of a flirt, too. Her Blackie doesn't have that strong of a relationship with her, since it's against her constant actions, but they're close nontheless."
[A girl with pink hair tied into a ponytail on opposite sides of her head enters a washroom wrapped in a towel and carrying a basket of soaps and scrubs. Across from her is the bathtub, where an Eifi is relaxedly leaning over the edge, enjoying the water. After sliding the door shut behind her, she walks forward only to slip in the same direction and lose grip of the basket. The basket ends up flying towards the tub and hitting the Eifi in the forehead before ricocheting onto the floor. The Eifi annoyedly looks at the girl, who puts her hand behind her head and forces a smile.]
Hiro (narration): "Sakura's my twin, preceding me by a few minutes. She's very cheerful, but also very clumsy, and she seems to carry a sense of right and wrong similar to that of Tamao's Blackie. Her Eifi is rather lazy, that's all I can say about it."
[All five girls pose in colorful kimono with their hair tied up and colored black, their Pokemon all standing next to them.]
Hiro (narration): "If these girls sound familiar, it's because they're the famous Kimono Sisters, citizens of Enju City whom are all well-renowned for performing tea ceremonies and staging traditional dances. Many find it hard to believe that I have a background with such people, especially my teacher. Anyway, everything started on Wednesday, April 15, 4099."
[The school building's shown again. The bell rings and a mass group of students exit through the front door. Among them is Hiro, slinging a book bag over his shoulder with a frustrated look on his face.]
???: "Are you alright, Hiro-kun?"
[Hiro looks over to see Sakura in a school uniform. He tries to look happy in front of her.]
Hiro: "Yeah." [Nods.]
Sakura: "Did that teacher give you trouble again?"
Hiro: [Head droops.] "You could tell, huh?"
Hiro (narration): "Sakura goes to the same school as me, but she's in a different class room. She's tried convincing the teacher that I am related to her, but he only regarded it as showing pity towards a stranger."
Sakura: "Don't worry. He should be convinced you're telling the truth some day." [Looks at watch.] "Ah! Sorry, I need to hurry. See ya later." [Waves and runs off quickly.]
Hiro: [Slowly waves back.] "See ya."
[Hiro is about to continue walking until he hears a rustling in a tree. When he's about to go up to see what it is, a figure falls out of the tree and lands face-first onto the ground. The figure is that of a boy with brown, spiked hair and a school uniform similar to Hiro's.]
Hiro: [Giant sweat drop appears on head.] "Uh... Chris-kun... what are you doing?"
[The boy slowly gets up wobbily while holding his head.]
Chris: "Just training."
Chris: "I expect to be climbing a lot of trees like this when I'm out on my big adventure."
Hiro: [sighs] "Adventure? You like to over-exaggerate, huh?"
Hiro (narration): "My old friend and classmate, Chris. He's excited knowing he'll leave on a trainer's journey soon."
Chris: "What? A trainer's journey isn't an exciting adventure?"
Hiro: "You're just walking around getting Pokemon, it's not some kind of epic RPG."
Chris: [Sweatdrops.] "Well, climbing trees should be useful nontheless. Hey, speaking of games, you want to go to the arcade?"
Hiro: "Yeah, I think I might have enough change with me for a couple games."
[Hiro's going through his pockets and counting the coins in his hand while he and Chris walk through a small commercial district.]
Chris: "So how much do you have?"
Hiro: [Looks over at Chris annoyedly.] "If you'd stop breaking my concentration I'd be able to tell."
Chris: [Closes eyes and sweatdrops.] "Sorry."
Hiro: [Clenches the hand holding his coins.] "It doesn't matter, I at least have enough for one g..."
[The silhouette of a small creature runs in front of the two. Hiro's leg moves forward just as the creature is in front of it, causing Hiro to trip. Once he hits the ground, Hiro loses grip on his coins and they all roll into a nearby storm drain.]
Chris: [Quickly turns around to see that Hiro fell down.] "Are you alright, Hiro?"
Hiro: [Stares wide-eyed at the storm drain before punching the ground in frustration.] "S***!"
Chris: [Looks towards Hiro's feet and points.] "Hiro, there."
[Hiro turns around to see an Eievui struggling to get out from under his legs.]
Hiro: "Eh? Eievui?"
[Hiro gets up to free the Eievui, which looks up at him curiously.]
Hiro: [Snarls.] "What the hell are you looking at? Think I'll forgive you for making me lose my money?"
Chris: "Hiro, be easy on it. It wasn't that much of a loss."
Hiro: "Shut up!" [Crouches down and points right index finger at the Eievui.] "I don't forgive those that piss me off so easily..."
[The Eievui bites Hiro's finger, causing him to widen his eyes and clench his teeth. The view changes to show part of the city from a distance.]
[The view changes back to Hiro, who's holding his finger in pain while the Eievui dashes into an alleyway in the background.]
Hiro: "Gi... damn you..."
Chris: "Are you alright? Is it bleeding?"
Hiro: "I'm fine."
Chris: "I told you to be easy on it."
Hiro: "Shut up."
[Hiro walks up a short flight of stairs to a Shinto shrine, where he sees an old man using a broom to sweep the stone path. The man has long gray hair tied at the back of his head and a gray beard that extends down to the middle of his neck, and he dons a white priest's robe.]
Hiro: "Grandpa, I'm home."
Grandpa: "Welcome home."
Hiro (narration): "Both my parents died not long after I was born, leaving us in the care of our grandfather. He's a kind person, though a bit of a drunkard. Our house is situated next to the shrine that he runs."
[Situated to the left of the shrine is a rather large, two-story house, with an oriental pond and garden in front of it. Hiro starts to walk towards it.]
Grandpa: "Wait, Hiro."
Hiro: [Stops and turns around.] "Huh? What?"
Grandpa: "Just a little while ago, I saw some creature sneak in through your window."
Hiro: "What? Why didn't you try to stop it?"
Grandpa: [Sweatdrops.] "Well... you were expected home very soon anyway... you're so youthful and I'm just an old man..."
Hiro: "You're not even 65 and have kept in good shape..." [Sighs.] "I'll do it."
[Hiro walks into the house carrying the broom his grandfather was using earlier. He begins to slip off his shoes at the entryway before the view changes to the top of a staircase, which Hiro soon walks out of. He eyes a closed door to the left, 3 rooms down from where he stands. He grips the broom tightly and rushes to the door. He opens it and appears shocked.]
Hiro: "Y... YOU!!!"
[An Eievui lies on the tatami inside. It immediately gets up upon seeing Hiro, whom it growls at.]
Hiro: "You're that same one from before! I won't forgive you for earlier!" [Rushes forward holding broom over head.]
[Hiro slams the broom downwards, but the Eievui manages to jump out of the way.]
Eievui: "Bui!" [Bites Hiro in the ankle and then jumps back.]
Hiro: "Ouch!" [Rubs ankle.] "You bas****!"
****ies to hit the Eievui with the broom again, but Eievui runs between Hiro's legs. It then jumps up to slam Hiro in the back, making him fall forward. He climbs back onto his feet.]
Hiro: [Snarls.] "Take this!"
[Hiro flips the broom and quickly sweeps the handle end forward to strike the Pokemon. However, it jumps up, and it comes down to land on the handle, its small feet keeping balance on the narrow stick.]
[The Eievui runs down the broom stick and headbutts Hiro in the face.]
[The Eievui tries to jump backwards, however, while it's in the air, Hiro quickly flips the broom again and swats the Eievui with the bristle end, slamming it against the floor.]
Hiro: "Kimono Hiro-sama won't let you get away for what you did!"
[From underneath the bristles, the Eievui suddenly looks up at Hiro widemouthed. It climbs out from the bristles and jumps up onto Hiro's head.]
Hiro: "Eh... you...!"
[Hiro drops the broom and is about the grab the Pokemon with his bare hands. However, the Eievui starts affectionately nuzzling against his hair, causing the boy to stop what he's doing.]
[Question marks appear in the background as Hiro looks upwards.]
Hiro: "Wh... what's happening?"
[Hiro picks up the Eievui and holds it up with both of them facing eachother.]
Hiro: "Hey, what's wrong with you? A moment ago, you were attacking me. Why are you so friendly now?"
Eievui: [Smiles and closes eyes.] "Bui!"
Hiro: [Sighs a mushroom-shaped cloud] "Of course I wouldn't understand the answer, so why did I bother asking?"
[The view changes to show the face of the smiling Eievui, still being held up in Hiro's hands.]
Hiro (narration): "That's how my story began. I just met this confusing Eievui, opening many questions for me to ask, but at the time, I sensed some kind of certainty... that my life would change soon."
-In Japan, surnames come first rather than last, so it's Kimono Hiro instead of Hiro Kimono.
-Japanese students are required to wear uniforms at public schools, usually like the ones described.
-the character in the manga that Hiro's reading is Shimamon. Shimamon is a fan-made Digimon of my brother's.
-In Japan, rather than students changing classes each period, the teachers are the ones who walk to different classes. In between these periods, students are free to walk around the class to converse with eachother or play around a bit.
-Japan has many name suffixes, 'kun' being one of them. 'Kun' is usually used for young boys, but sometimes girls too. For future reference, 'chan' is a way to address young girls and little kids, 'san' is a polite way to address people, and 'sama' is an even politer way and is usually meant towards superiors (it can also be used by oneself to be extremely boastful). 'Sensei' is a title for teachers, 'hakase' is a title for doctors, and 'tachi' specifies a group that is with the person (much like saying "and the others" or "and company" or "and his/her friends" in English).
-Japanese people take off their shoes before entering a house. The floor is lowered in front of the doorway, and such a place is where shoes can be left at.
-Tatami is a straw floor-covering in many Japanese houses.
6th October 2004, 3:55 AM
Hiro: [Sighs a mushroom-shaped cloud]
lol comical i love it. the story
has a bit of surrealness to it but its not bad. so far the Eevee seems to have personality altough it changed its mind awfully quick. other than that i'm damn impressed with this, it's like reading an episode and you make it very easy to create pictures in my mind with your description.
I can't wait to see how the story progresses as I didnt manage to read all of the previous version. goodwork keep it up.
6th October 2004, 4:21 AM
w00t! w00t! It's the return...
of teh awesome!
Great job with the editting, I can understand it a lot better, 'mato-san!
6th October 2004, 4:50 AM
*nods* Yep, example of good script format. I've made a few attempts to read it, but always got lazy after two or three chapters, so I'll be following it now.
The script is well written, it has a lot of detail but doesn't get boring, I can picture it like an episode, and it has quite a bit of humourous stuff that you can just picture as a part of an animé episode. The plot can't be commented on yet, but it looks rather promising. Nice job.
6th October 2004, 7:30 AM
Veddy good story Yamato-san, I too can picture it like an actually episode which is really hard for me now and days . . .
I can't really comment much on scripts so I have no clue how to actually write one (heh ^^; ). Just enough description to not bore ya to death (again, heh ^^; ) but just enough. Gotta love the light humor in here too. So overall, tis a very good fic like I said earlier.
13th October 2004, 5:36 PM
Hmm, it's good, but I always prefer reading a story than a script. Hey, that's just opinion.
Anyway, I'm wondering what sort of script this is meant to be. Ie, film, radio, comic.
radio is generally done in this fashion, as is theatrical plays/ pantomimes and so on. I have no idea what a comic script is like, but fil scripts are done sort of like this.
INT/ CAR. BOB IS DRIVING, JIMMITY IS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT.
I want ice cream.
Bob, you always want ice cream.
Sorry if this seems too much of a moaning lecture, I do like it. But I'm just trying to pass on the knowledge. I may have to read more.
14th October 2004, 12:32 AM
This is a good fanfic, I feel so annoyed that I didn't read the first version when I had the chance. Oh well.
Apparently the "zooming out to a view of the entire city to emphasize how loud a scream or yell is" is not just limited to animé(I don't get to read a lot of mangas ^_^)…XD
This is indeed excellent script format. Your verbal imagery is ver good, it feels like I'm reading a manga, only my brain is filling in the pictures…cool! The Eievuilutions certainly have good personalities, they go well with those of their trainers. It seems like Espeon and Sakura will certainly provide a nice bit of humor. I'll keep an eye on this fic. Hopefully the details don't get mixed into a massive jumble along with all the other detail from fanfics I'm reading. Keep up the good rewriting!
14th October 2004, 9:24 AM
HEY!! this is a sick fic!!
i feel all too familiar with the japanese style and all, ahhhh, how i miss japan...... anyway to the review!!
spelling, grammer (though bit different) is great!!! love it!! even though its in script, its very easy to read and picture it in real life, or a TV show, its great
im new to this fic, so you've just scored another reader!! by the way, are you part or full japanese?? your name suggests it, just asking... i am too...
14th October 2004, 11:55 AM
thanks for the reviews so far. I especially love how people say they could picture a manga or anime, that's great to know considering I'm improvising for what was originally intended of this story. I'm sorry I couldn't get chapter 2 up last weekend, I'll try to do that soon. Anyway...
Ladyumbra: I can assure you that the reason for Eievui changing its mind so easily will be explained later on.
Captain Blue: Didn't you read the introduction post? This was originally meant to be a doujinshi, so I guess to answer your question, I'm going for a comic-style script.
Golden_Char: I'm not any bit Japanese. 'Yamato-san' is my screen name, not my real name (don't ask me what my real name is). However, I am learning some of the language.
Wondrous Sableye: WARNING! SLIGHT SPOILERS!
I'm sorry to say that Hiro's sisters, like Hiro said in his narration, don't have a large role. However, I don't intend to push them into the background as much as I did in the previous version, and I'm still thinking of ways they could play a bigger part later on (past where I last left off the story in the old version). I'm gonna trail off-subject here, but looking back, it's a good thing I took over my little brother's writing when he gave up trying to scan. Aside from his awful grammar skills, he didn't seem to plan ahead in the actual story-telling. He only wanted Hiro to have an Eievui because a certain Pokemon was his favorite, he wanted Hiro to be related to the Kimono Sisters just because him owning an Eievui would fit their theme, he wanted a cameo character from the anime to travel with Hiro just for the simple purpose of having a cameo character, etc., but he never considered background behind any of this stuff, therefor making certain characters, like the sisters, very 2D. He didn't even give Hiro much of a personality, but whatever was there, I guess it was a Gary Stu (that is the male equivalent of a Mary Sue, right?), for that matter, Chris is the name of a friend he knows in real life. In my previous version, I was rather lazy in correcting most of these mistakes, despite how much I dislike shallow characters. Luckily, I'm writing PMC from the beginning, so I can make this story much more indepth than before.
14th October 2004, 4:18 PM
Well, the Eifi and Sakura thing was just a minor guess, and I was judging from the introduction of Sakura and her Eifi. Oh well, I'll still keep an eye on this fic.
19th October 2004, 11:48 PM
sorry I'm taking so long to get chapter 2 up, I had to try reformatting my computer the last two days. Anyway, whether I finish it soon or not, I'm gonna hold it off for a week because I recently had an idea, but I'd like to hear people's opinions first. So, for the next week, can I ask that everyone go to this poll (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=37798), please?
EDIT: Poll's over, too many people are against my idea, so I won't go through with it.
UPDATE: I decided to partake in the anime-style battling. For those of you who don't mind slight spoilers, I've got a little preview of things to come in the squad that I posted. Every Pokemon in my squad will play some role or another in either the future of PMC or one of the 3 fanfics I plan to work on after I finish PMC, and all of their bios and special moves make reference to such roles. Those of you who have been reading PMC before I started over should recognize one of them, possibly two of them if you have an extremely good memory. As of the time of this posting, every Pokemon on my squad has been approved except for the male Nyaasu (Meowth) and female Rokon (Vulpix). I'm still trying to get those two approved, though. You can see my squad here (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?p=776485#post776485).
24th October 2004, 11:34 PM
sorry I'm late with this chapter. I would've had it yesterday when I announced the results of that poll, but... well, laziness occured. Anyway, this chapter ended up having a lot of comedy involved, so I hope you all enjoy.
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
CHAPTER 2: STALKING POKEMON
[A small alarm clock is seen sitting on the floor with the numbers '20:34' lit on it in red. It makes a faint beeping sound as the numbers change to '20:35'. Sitting on floor with his legs crossed is Hiro, holding up an open English book in front of his face, which he appears to be studying carefully. He's no longer wearing his school uniform, but instead a pair of jeans and a baggy white sweater with a blue zig-zag pattern at the end of each sleeve. His eyes look up from the book to see an Eievui across from him, which stares at him happily.]
Eievui: [Wags tail.] "Bui!"
Hiro: [Snarls as an X-shaped vein throbs on his forehead.] "guu..." [Lowers eyes to look in the book again.]
Eievui: "Iiiibui!" [Runs up to Hiro, pokes head between Hiro's chest and his book, and smiles.] "Buiiii..."
Hiro: [Snarls before slamming the book down next to him.] "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Eievui: [***** head with a confused look on face.] "Bui?"
Hiro: [Frustratedly sighs.] "Why am I stuck with you?"
[Hiro thinks back to earlier in the day. He walks out of the house holding the Eievui and puts it down, then he looks down at it while pointing his finger forward, indicating it to leave. However, the Eievui jumps up into Hiro's chest, causing him to grab it. He immediately throws the Eievui and dashes into the house, however, the Pokemon speedily dashes in before Hiro is able to close the door. Hiro looks at the Eievui in the house and a big sweatdrop appears on the side of his head.]
Hiro: "I couldn't get rid of you. And then grandpa said..."
[Hiro pictures his grandfather standing in front of him while outside the house.]
Grandpa: [Smiles and holds up right index finger.] "It seems to have taken a huge liking to you. You should just keep it."
Hiro: [Holds arms out from his sides.] "Granpda...!"
Grandpa: "You can't get rid of it, it would be for the best."
[Flashback ends. Hiro's still leaning in the corner of the wall, clenching his first while the Eievui continues looking at him.]
Hiro: "Damn you, Grandpa. He probably just wants consistency in us siblings. All my sisters have an Eievui, so now I should have one. He probably set up this whole thing."
Eievui: [Shakes head.] "Buiiii..."
Hiro: "You say he didn't? How can I trust you?" [Looks down at Eievui.]
Hiro: [Drops head.] "What the hell am I doing?" [Raises head again.] "Pokemon can understand humans, but humans can never understand Pokemon. That's always puzzled me."
[Hiro is about to pick up his book again, but then he hears the faint sound of a door opening.]
Faint voice: "I'm home!"
Hiro: "Ah, my sisters are home. Maybe they'll have better advice for getting rid of this thing than Grandpa."
[Hiro gets up, slides his door open, and the Eievui follows him as he runs out of his room. The outside of the house is shown.]
[A flock of Poppo fly out of the trees outside while that was being yelled. Back inside the house, close to the entryway, Hiro's eyes are beady and his mouth is gaping open. In front of him stands Koume, while in the background, Sakura and Sumomo are petting Eievui.]
Hiro: [Face returns to normal as he holds his hands out from his sides.] "Sister, that's the same thing Grandpa suggested. I was expecting you to say something different. You're very close friends with that shelter-runner, Kurenai-san, aren't you?"
[Sakura's Eifi, which is laying down next to Sakura, uses its psychokinetic powers to hold up a blue ball, about the size of Eievui, which grabs Eievui's attention.]
Koume: "Yes, we could give it to Karen-chan. However, if she doesn't find a home for it, it'll be sent to the animal-skinner."
Satsuki: [Suddenly runs up and stops next to Koume.] "Hiro! Grandpa told me that that Eievui really likes you. How could you consider having it turned into a drum?"
[Hiro sweats and backs away slightly. In the background, Eievui jumps up and tries grabbing the ball, but Eifi raises it so it's out of reach. Afterwards, Eifi drops the ball, allowing Eievui to grab it and roll around the floor a bit while holding it. Sakura and Sumomo giggle at this.]
Hiro: [Eyes closed while waving his hands in front of his body, big sweatdrop sliding down the side of his head.] "W... w... wait a second. I wasn't suggesting something like that... um..." [Looks upward as he scratches his cheek, then smiles as he holds up his index finger.] "You and Kurenai-san are both big fans of Fire-type Pokemon. Perhaps she could raise her own Booster, the two of you could have the same kind of Pokemon."
Koume: "She told me she's raising enough of her own Pokemon at the moment."
[Hiro collapses and his hand appears to be quivering. Satsuki's eyes turn beady as she looks down at him.]
Sumomo: "Hiro-kun, maybe you should consider being a trainer." [Gets up from playing with Eievui.] "Your meeting with this Pokemon must have been fate."
Tamao's voice: "Yes, another trainer would be great for this family's income."
Hiro: [Stands up again.] "I don't see how... wait... where are you?"
Sakura: [Clenches fists and looks up.] "You aren't looking at my diary again, are you!?"
Tamao: "No, I'm not... OW!!! Blackie, what are you doing?! Ow, ow, ow!!!"
[Sweatdrops slide down everyone's head as they hear the sound of running upstairs.]
Tamao: "Stop, Blackie! Please... WOAH!!!"
[Tamao tumbles down from the staircase. She lands on the floor with swirls in her eyes, teethmarks on her legs, and a book in her hand.]
Sakura: "I knew it!" [Stomps towards Tamao and grabs her book back. She turns her nose upwards in aggravation as she walks away.]
Satsuki: [Walks over and helps Tamao back to her feet.] "Are you alright?"
Tamao: [Her body wobbles a little.] "I'm fine." [Walks up to Hiro.] "Anyway, if you were a trainer, you could go out on a journey, an adventure. As with any adventure, you're bound to come across many treasures."
Hiro: [Annoyedly lowers eyelids.] "Then why don't you leave on a journey?"
Tamao: [Eyes turn beady.] "Eh?" [Pushes the tips of her index fingers together.] "Well... uh..." [Closes her eyes and smiles.] "I'm too busy with my job here with the others."
Koume: [Eyes half-closed and pointing finger at Tamao.] "You've been slacking on that lately. You're only staying here because you're so busy finding embarassing secrets concerning whoever lives in that big mansion in the middle of the city."
[Tamao nearly chokes as a bead of sweat slides down her face. A loud whacking sound is then heard as Tamao's fist is seen coming down from striking Koume's head, which is now tilted and has a large bump on it.]
Tamao: "Stupid, I'm doing no such thing!"
Koume: [Strikes Tamao on the head, giving her a bump in a similar manner.] "Do you even know if anybody lives in that place?!"
Tamao: [Strikes Koume again.] "Yes, someone lives there! The guy's so rich, he owns homes around the world!"
Koume: [Strikes Tamao again.] "What you're doing's still wrong!"
Tamao: [Repeats.] "That's no reason to hit me!"
Koume: [Repeats.] "You hit me first!"
Tamao: [Raises her hand and swings her fist downward.] "You meddled into my affairs!"
Hiro: [Runs in between Tamao and Koume.] "Stop it, you two!"
[Without realizing it, Tamao hits Hiro on top of his head. Hiro's eyes widen and a bump sprouts from his head, then he falls down.]
Tamao: [Sweatdrop slides down her face as she looks down and closes her eyes.] "Ehehe... sorry, Hiro."
Koume: [Closes her eyes and sighs. Whacks Tamao across the back of the head.] "Idiot..."
[Eievui stops rolling with its ball to run over to Hiro.]
Eievui: [Concerned look on face.] "Buiiii... buuuui..."
[The scene changes to night. Hiro's wearing some white pajamas in his room, laying in his futon as he rubs the bump on his head.]
Hiro: [Sighs.] "Maybe someone at school can take this Eievui from me."
[Hiro lays his head down and tries to sleep, but he feels something rub against him. He opens his eyes to see Eievui curling up next to him. Hiro rolls over to his side, facing away from the Pokemon. Eievui gets up and walks over to him and curl again, and Hiro retaliates by scooting further to the side. Eievui still walks over to him. An aggitated Hiro lifts up his futon and flips it off of there, causing Eievui to be thrown against the floor.]
Hiro: "Why do you keep getting close to me? Don't you realize that I still hate you for all the trouble you've caused me today?"
[Eievui looks down with a regretful look on its face. Hiro lays down his futon again and goes back to sleep.]
Eievui: [Sighs.] "bui..." [Looks over at Hiro for a moment before a gleeful smile appears on its face.] "Buiiii..." [Silently walks over to Hiro's futon.]
[The next morning, Hiro slowly opens his eyes, and upon doing so, he sees his hand on top of Eievui, who sleeps peacefully. An X-vein appears on Hiro's forehead as he gets out of his futon and flips Eievui off of it again. Eievui lands on the floor awake, but with swirls in its eyes.]
Hiro: "You bas****! I told you not to sleep near me!"
Eievui: [Stumbles to its feet.] "Bu... iiii... iiii..."
Hiro: [Eyes closed as he starts folding his futon.] "I'm going to school now. Stay here and don't follow me."
[The outside of the house is shown as the date is displayed, "4099年4月16日 ( 木 )" (Thursday, April 16, 4099). Hiro, now dressed in his school uniform and with a book bag slung over his shoulder, walks past his grandfather, who's currently sweeping in front of the shrine.]
Hiro: [Turns and waves.] "Grandpa, see ya later."
Grandpa: [Waves back.] "See ya."
[Hiro starts walking down the steps from the shrine after they exchange greetings. Meanwhile, a window on the upper story of Hiro's house is slowly slid open, and a silhouette jumps from it to a tree, and then to another tree. While Hiro's walking down the street, he looks up towards the top of a small building.]
[Hiro sees the silhouette of a small creature on top of the building. He grabs a rock off the ground.]
Hiro: "I said not to follow me!" [Throws rock.]
[The rock hits the silhouette, causing it to fall over the side of the building and onto the sidewalk.]
Hiro: [Surprised.] "Eh?!"
[The figure on the ground turns out to be an Otachi, which now has swirls in its eyes and a large bump on its head.]
Otachi: "...tachi..." [Gets up and angrily stares at Hiro with fires burning in its eyes.] "Otachiiii..."
Hiro: [Forces a half-smile as his cheek twitches.] "So... sorry..."
Otachi: "OTACHI!!!" [Jumps forward and whacks Hiro's face with its tail.]
Hiro: [Falls backwards.] "OW!!!"
Otachi: "TACHI!!" [Runs forward again.]
[Hiro immediately gets up and runs as the Otachi starts chasing him. Hiro runs until he loses the Otachi.]
Hiro: [Pants.] "Maybe that Eievui isn't following me after all."
[Inside the classroom, a middle-aged woman with shoulder-length blonde hair is lecturing the class on math. However, Hiro seems to not be paying much attention to the lecture.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("Was Tamao serious about what she said yesterday?")
[Hiro pictures Tamao talking in front of him.]
Tamao: "If you were a trainer, you could go out on a journey, an adventure."
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("Does she really suggest I leave?") [Shakes head.] ("No, I can't. I like things here, my home, my family. I don't need to be a trainer, I'd rather just stay here instead. Why see the world? Why collect Pokemon? Why search for some non-existant treasure? I have no reason for doing any of that.")
[Hiro looks up at the teacher, trying to focus on the lecture. However, a loud bumping sound is heard to the left.]
Random student's voice: "UWAAAA!! Teacher..."
[Hiro notices all the students looking over to the left, and he does so as well.]
Hiro: [Chokes. Thinking.] ("It... it followed me...")
[Outside the window is Eievui, standing on a tree branch. It jumps from the branch to the window, bashes its head against it, pushes its paw against the glass, and then flips back onto the branch.]
Random student: "It's gonna smash through the window!"
Math teacher: [Walks over to window.] "Calm down everyone. I'll try to send it away."
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("If she opens the window, there's a good chance that stupid Pokemon will jump inside.") [Clenches teeth as a bead of sweat runs down his face.]
Random student: "Wait teacher, you don't know what that thing could be capable of!"
Math teacher: "Huh?"
Random student: "Let one of us handle it."
Hiro: [Raises hand.] "I'll do it!"
[Hiro reaches into his book bag and grabs his boxed lunch. He opens the lid, and takes out 3 rice balls wrapped in clear plastic.]
Random student: "Huh, what's he plan on doing with those?"
[Hiro walks up to the window and slowly unlatches it. Outside, Eievui sees him and wags its tail gleefully. Hiro quickly opens the window and throws a rice ball at Eievui. Rice splatters all over it.]
Eievui: [Starts losing balance on branch, eyes widened and left front leg flailing trying to gain balance again.] "Bui... bui..." [Falls off branch.] "Buiiiiiiiii...!!!"
[Eievui hits the ground. It slowly gets to its feet with tears streaming down from huge, quivering eyes.]
Eievui: [Looks up at Hiro.] "Buiiii...!"
Hiro: "Go away!"
[Hiro notices a Yamikarasu flying nearby. He throws a second riceball up towards it.]
Yamikarasu: "Kara?" [Sees riceball.] "KARAAAAAAA!!!"
[After that loud call, an entire flock of Yamikarasu start flying towards where it is. Meanwhile, the riceball falls down from the sky and lands on top of Eievui. Hiro throws the third riceball at it.]
Eievui: "BUI!" [After being pelted again, it looks up to see Yamikarasu swooping down towards it.] "BUIIIIIII!!!" [Jumps in the air with all its legs flailing and its eyes widened in surprise.]
[Eievui starts to run around while the Yamikarasu pursue it. Some Yamikarasu stay behind to feast on the bits of rice that dropped from Eievui, but many others pursue the rice-covered Pokemon.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("I threw out part of my lunch, but that should keep it away for a while.") [Closes window and walks back to his seat.]
[Time passes. While Eievui was being chased by the hungry Yamikarasu, Hiro went through his classes like normal, and right now, his literature teacher is lecturing.]
Hiro: [Pays attention to the lecture until he hears a bumping sound to the left.] "Huh?"
[Hiro looks to his left to see Eievui outside the window again. Now it's panting out of exhaustion and its fur is messed up due to Yamikarasu eating rice from it.]
Random student: "It's that Eievui again!"
Literature teacher: "What's this about?"
Random student: "Teacher, at the beginning of classes, this Eievui tried to smash through the window."
Literature teacher: "Why is everyone so afraid? Eievui's not a very powerful Pokemon. Here, I'll show you."
Multiple students: "Nooo!!"
Hiro: [Chokes.] "Gu...! Stop!"
[The teacher opens the window.]
Literature teacher: "Watch. It's not going to do us any harm."
Eievui: [Looks into the classroom and spots Hiro, then jumps in gleefully.] "BUIIIII!!!"
Students: "UWAAAAA!!!" [Many try shielding themselves.]
Eievui: "Buiii..." [Runs towards Hiro.]
Hiro: "Wait! Stop!" [Frantically waves arms in front of body.]
Eievui: [Jumps onto Hiro's shoulder and nuzzles against his face.] "Bui..."
[Sweatdrops slide down most of the students' faces.]
Literature teacher: [Eyes glow and flames erupt behind him while he walks up to Hiro's desk.] "Kimonooooo....!!!"
Hiro: [Chokes and eyes widen.] "Gi...!"
Literature teacher: "So... that's your Eievui. You weren't very convincing of who your family is in the past, so you try making yourself further convincing by getting an Eievui of your own. Is that is?"
Hiro: [Turns around.] "Wha... what the hell are you talking about? This Eievui just started following me without reason, and when are you going to be convinced that what I say about my sisters is the truth?"
Literature teacher: "The Kimono Sisters do not have a little brother, that's the truth."
Hiro: "They never mentioned me?"
Literature teacher: "They did one time... however, you're close friends with Sakura, they only did it to pity you."
Hiro: [Fist clenches and X-vein appears on forehead as he snarls. He points his finger towards the teacher.] "You're so friggin dense!!! You're an idiot, idiot, idiot!!!"
Eievui: [Gleeful.] "BUI!!" [Jumps off Hiro's shoulder slams into teacher's forehead, then jumps backwards onto Hiro's shoulder again.]
Literature teacher: "GAAAA!!!" [Collapses backwards.]
Students: "Woah..." [Look down at the teacher in surprise.]
Hiro: [Sweats with eyes closed.] "Uh... are you alright?"
Literature teacher: [Slowly opens eyes and lifts head up from the ground.] "I... expect an apology report... before you leave... today..." [Faints.]
[The sun is about to set, and Hiro's just now walking out of the school with Eievui poking out of his book bag.]
Hiro: "Daaaamn... that lousy teacher kept me so late. The idiot just assumed that whole incident was my fault and makes me stay until I finish that report."
Eievui: [Smiles and closes eyes.] "Bui!"
Hiro: [Half-closed eyes look towards the Pokemon on his shoulder.] "Shut up! You caused me even more trouble today."
Eievui: [Looks downwards regretfully.] "buiiiii...."
Hiro: [Closes eyes and smiles.] "Although, I liked watching you hurt that teacher like you did."
Eievui: [Smiles.] "Buii!"
Hiro: [Sighs.] "I really do hate that teacher. It seems he can never be convinced that I'm not lieing and continues putting me through that torment. What's worse, that bas****'s convincing other people that I'm a liar..."
[Hiro continues walking down the sidewalk until he notices a building he's passing by. He stops and looks up at the building, which is rather large and has the words "POKEMON CENTER" written at the top, with "ポケモンセンター" written in small symbols underneath it.]
Hiro: "Maybe... maybe I should consider leaving..."
[Flashback. Sumomo's standing a small distance away.]
Sumomo: "Your meeting with this Pokemon must have been fate."
[Flashback ends. Hiro stares up at the Pokemon Center for a moment. During that time, a couple cars pass by on the street behind him.]
Hiro: "Meh, that's crazy. I don't need to leave, no matter how bad a few people treat me."
[Hiro looks back at the Eievui in his book bag and sighs again.]
Hiro: "Trainer or not, I can't get rid of you, can I?"
Eievui: "Bui!" [Shakes head.]
Hiro: "Crap..." [Tilts head.] "That means I'm forced to get used to you. Oh well..." [Shrugs.] "Guess you're my Pokemon now, Eievui."
Eievui: "BUIII!!" [Jumps out of book bag and prances around Hiro's legs.] "Bui, bui, bui, bui, bui!!!"
Hiro: [Lightly chuckles.] "Come on, let's go home."
[Eievui nods and begins following Hiro down the sidewalk.]
-English language is a required course for Japanese school students.
-Younger family members usually call their elders by a title rather than name. Not just parents, but also older brothers and sisters.
26th October 2004, 10:44 PM
HAPPY ENDING!!!!!! I like it! I tried the old one, and I couldn't read it cause I was bored. When I read this, It brought me to my attention!!!!! So, I can follow! See ya!
31st October 2004, 9:30 PM
just so everyone knows, I editted part of chapter 1. I rewrote that part where Hiro mentioned his sisters not having a big role in his story, because I realized that as I was rewriting everything, I ended up making them do quite a lot more than they did in the past.
Anyway, here's chapter 3. Man, I wasn't expecting that I'd be extending these early parts so much from the old version. I was thinking I'd have a certain event happen by the end of this chapter, but it didn't. Oh well, I guess it's just a sign that I'm not rushing things and doing well with character development this time around ^^.
CHAPTER 3: MY PET
[A view of the twilight sky is shown while the sound of crickets chirping is heard. The view changes to show the ground in front of Hiro's house. A foot wearing a sneaker steps on the ground, along with 4 small, furry legs. The view changes again to a door, which opens to reveal Hiro, wearing his school uniform, and Eievui next to him.]
Hiro: "Grandpa, I'm home! Eh...?"
[Hiro notices a pair of high-heels next to the door. After slipping off his shoes, he and Eievui walk through an opening in the right the hallway and see Tamao sitting on a black leather couch while reading a book.]
Tamao: [Looks up to notice Hiro. She puts the book down and puts hands on her lap.] "Hiro-kun... you're late coming home today."
Hiro: [Closes eyes and sweatdrops.] "But... Sister's early tonight."
Tamao: [Looks down.] "Well..." [Looks to Hiro.] "I wanted to be here when you came home, so I left early."
Tamao: [Gets up from the couch, walks forward, and turns towards Hiro. She then gets onto her knees and bows down.] "What I did to you last night was inexcusible. Please accept this formal apology."
Hiro: "Huh? Is this about you accidentally hitting me?"
Tamao: [Head rises from bow.] "I've had time to think it over, and I know how I can make it up for you. I know someone... whom I could 'convince'..." [Evil smirk appears, then disappears.] "...to take that Eievui."
Hiro: [Eyes widen in excitement.] "Really?"
Tamao: [Nods.] "Yeah."
Hiro: "Huh?" [Looks down at Eievui.]
Eievui: [Sad look on its face as it looks up at Hiro.] "Buuuui.... bui buiiii... bui..."
[Hiro and Eievui stare back at eachother, each one's reflection appearing in the other's eyes. While this occurs, Hiro thinks back to Eievui's cute and cheerful face, then to back when Sakura, Sumomo, and Eifi were playing with Eievui. He then pictures all 5 of his sisters cuddling their respective Pokemon in various ways, all of them looking extremely happy while doing so. Finally, he thinks back to when he and Eievui were in front of the Pokemon Center earlier.]
Hiro: [Sighs.] "I just can't get rid of you, can I? I guess you're my Pokemon now."
[Flashback ends. Eievui continues looking up at Hiro, but Hiro turns towards Tamao.]
Hiro: "Sister, I appreciate it, however..."
Tamao: [Eyes widen.] "Eh? However?"
Hiro: "...however, I decided I'm keeping the Eievui."
[Silence ensues as Hiro, Eievui, and Tamao stay still. Eventually, both Eievui and Tamao grow a smile on their faces.]
Eievui: "BUIIIIIII!!!!" [Jumps up in excitement.]
Tamao: "Yaho!" [Jumps up in excitement as well, eyes closed and arms swinging outwards.] "This means Hiro-kun changed his mind...!"
Hiro: "Don't get the wrong idea!"
Tamao: [Beady eyes open, and she manages to stay in midair during her jump.] "Eh?"
Hiro: [A sweatdrop appears on his head.] "I still don't intend to be a trainer nor go on a journey." [Smirks.] "I just realized that no matter what I do, this Pokemon will keep going to me. I should just endure it. I've had experience with other Eievui in this family before, so it shouldn't be that hard with this type of Pokemon."
Tamao: [Still in previous midair pose.] "So that means no treasure?"
Hiro: [Sighs.] "No."
Tamao: [Falls over backwards with tears streaming down her closed eyes.] "Dammit."
Eievui: [Looks at Tamao and giggles.] "bui..." [Starts laughing.] "BUIIHIHIHIHIHI!!!!"
Hiro: [Turns back towards the hallway and looks back.] "Sister..."
Tamao: [Gets up.] "What?"
Tamao: [Looks at Hiro for a moment before smirking.] "Forget about it."
[Hiro heads towards the staircase while Tamao sits on the floor with her legs crossed.]
Tamao: "Why is that Eievui so attached to him?" [Stares at the ceiling.] "Well, guess I'll have to extort something else out of that guy."
???: [Growling.] "kiiii..."
[Tamao chokes and slowly turns her head around to see her Blackie, growling at her.]
Tamao: [Sweatdrop slides down the side of her head while a twitching cheek forces a half-smile.] "Hehe..." [Closes eyes, smiles, and lightly waves her hand down.] "Joking, joking!"
[Hiro's covered by a blanket as he lays on his futon later that night. Eievui is curled up next to him, sleeping.]
Hiro: [Thinking as he looks over to Eievui.] ("It's never gonna leave me alone, anyway. Besides...")
[Hiro pictures all 5 of his sisters cuddling their Pokemon again before the scene returns to him.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("Everyone always seems so happy with a Pokemon of their own. I might as well try that for myself. I don't need a trainer license for that, right? It's simply my pet.")
[Still looking at Eievui, Hiro smiles before closing his eyes and falling asleep. The scene changes to the front of Hiro's school in the day time and the text "4099年4月17日 ( 金 )" (Friday, April 17, 4099) is displayed. To the right of the doorway, Eievui sits on a tree branch, eyes fixed on the door.]
Eievui: [Yawns, then lays down.] "...bui."
[Eievui thinks back to earlier in the day. It and Hiro were standing in front of the school building.]
Hiro: "Eievui, you need you to understand that you can't follow me in here. If you do, I'll get in trouble like yesterday. Please, just wait outside."
[Flashback ends. A droopy-eyed Eievui wags its tail around in boredom. Its eyes widen when it sees a small stab beetle walking in front of it. Eievui sniffs at it curiously, but the beetle pinches it on the nose.]
Eievui: "BUIIII!!" [Flails around batting at the beetle on its nose while tears form in its eyes.]
[The beetle falls off and lands back onto the branch, where it walks away. However, Eievui falls off the branch and hits the ground.]
Eievui: [Painfully groans.] "buiiii...ii...iii..." [Slowly stands up.]
[The school bell starts to ring, and Eievui immediately looks toward it. After a moment, a large group of students walks out of the front door. Eievui looks at the group and spots Hiro in it eventually. It dashes in between other students in the crowd and begins walking next to Hiro. Hiro doesn't even even notice Eievui until he feels something furry rub against his leg and he looks down. He doesn't speak, just smirks, before looking up again.]
Hiro: "It's my turn to cook dinner tonight. Does Eievui want to watch?"
Eievui: [Smiles.] "Bui!"
Hiro: [Eyes half-close.] "You'd get excited over anything I do, wouldn't you?"
[Hiro and Eievui are walking up the steps to the shrine by Hiro's house. While ascending the stairs, Hiro is carrying plastic grocery bags on each arm. When he reaches the top, he looks towards the shrine.]
[A male figure is shown ringing the bell, and then clapping his hands. Hiro stares at the figure. Eievui does the same, but looks confused while it does so.]
Hiro: "He's Enju City's gym leader. He's a close family friend of ours and visits the shrine often. An extremely spiritual man who longs to be as close to the spirits as the living creatures who are close enough to actually possess spirit-like qualities, Pokemon which he trains."
Eievui: [Looks at the figure in amusement.] "buuiiiii."
Hiro: "Hey, Matsuba-san!"
Matsuba: [Turns around and looks towards Hiro, then smiles before bowing his head.] "Hiro-kun, good afternoon."
Hiro: [Bows back.] "Good afternoon. You look to be in good health." [Walks up to Matsuba.]
Matsuba: "Eh?" [Looks down.] "An Eievui? ....is that your's?"
Hiro: [Nods head.] "Yeah."
Matsuba: "And you always seemed so resilient towards Pokemon training. Maybe you can battle me at my gym some day."
Hiro: [Shakes head.] "No, I'm not officially a trainer."
Matsuba: [Sighs.] "Is that so? So you're still not interested? Such a shame..." [Holds up index finger.] "I've always wanted at least one person from your family to challenge."
[While Hiro and Matsuba are conversing, Eievui curiously sniffs at Hiro's bag on his right side.]
Hiro: "Even if I were a trainer, I doubt I'd be good enough to beat you."
Matsuba: "It's not great for anyone to lack in self-confidence."
Hiro: "Oh?" [Grins.] "Then if I become a trainer, I promise me and Eievui, we'll defeat you together."
[Hiro holds up the bag Eievui was sniffing at so he could hold up a clenched fist, causing Eievui to back away. Eievui runs to Hiro's left and sniffs at that bag instead.]
Matsuba: [Closes eyes and chuckles.] "Now you're being too confident."
[Eievui bites on the left bag and rips the plastic, causing rice bags and wrapped fish fillets to spill out.]
Hiro: [Eyes widen.] "Ah!?" [Looks down at the spilled contents of the bag. An X-vein appears on his head and he closes his eyes.] "Stupid Eievui!"
Eievui: "...buiiii..." [Lowers head while facing backwards, blue vertical lines appear above it.]
Matsuba: [Chuckles again, then smiles.] "It's alright, I can help you with that."
Hiro: [Sighs in relief.] "Thank you very much, Matsuba-san."
[The scene changes to show Hiro storing away all the groceries into the fridge and cupboards while Eievui watches.]
Hiro (narration): "It seemed to happen very rapidly..."
[Hiro's now in his civilian clothes, sits at a low table and works on his homework. Eievui pokes in from under the table in front of Hiro's lap and turns around to look at the papers he's working on. Hiro lifts up his arms when this happens.]
Hiro (narration): "...but within the those three days since meeting, I ended up warming up towards Eievui."
[The next scene involves Hiro, wearing a white apron, in the kitchen. He's boiling rice, cutting vegetables, and grilling fish fillets. Meanwhile, Eievui sits on the window sill watching, but jumps off in terror when it sees a stab beetle land in front of it. Outside the window, Hiro's grandfather is seen sweeping the walkway.]
Hiro (narration): "I still didn't understand why this Pokemon was attracted to me..."
[At a dinner table, Hiro's family is eating the food that Hiro prepared earlier. In the background, all of the family's Pokemon are eating food out of pet dishes including Eievui.]
Hiro (narration): "...I still had no interests in Pokemon..."
[Eievui appears covered in suds. A full shot of Hiro, wrapped in a towl, is seen scrubbing Eievui's fur before turning on a shower head and rinsing it off.]
Hiro (narration): "...but I took it in as my pet anyway. I was giving in to defeat, but I also thought it would be fun."
[Hiro's asleep on his futon again, with Eievui curled up by his side.]
Hiro (narration): "I didn't worry much about it, though, because I knew either way, my peaceful life in Enju City wouldn't change."
[Eievui opens its eyes, then looks back to see that Hiro laid his hands on Eievui in his sleep. Eievui smiles and lays its head back down.]
Hiro (narration): "...but... neither of us... would expect what tomorrow would bring."
31st October 2004, 9:38 PM
right on the money as usual. description was great not too much not too little. pacing was pretty good niether rushing nor dragging. plot and originality are continuing to be pretty impressive. keep it up. I so wanna see this win an award next time they come around.
31st October 2004, 10:01 PM
Umbra-chan said all that I wanted to...;_;..
But I'll say it anyways. The description and flow was good. The plot and originality continue to move forward. Revision was great.
4th November 2004, 7:03 PM
I so wanna see this win an award next time they come around.
I agree with Clow, this revision seems to be getting me much more reviews than the old version. Last time, I practically had to beg someone to nominate me for a couple categories through my sig and posts on the thread, but it seems likely that won't be the case by the next awards. BTW, I should mention that I did get Fanfiction of the Week over on Pokecommunity.
UPDATE: For all you artists out there, you should consider looking here (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?p=836886#post836886).
6th November 2004, 6:02 AM
Hey there. I never got around to reading the old version, although I always meant to, but now that I'm reading this one I thought it was very good. The description was great, just enough so that I could visualize what was going on but not so much that it takes away from the point of the script format. Hiro is an interesting character, as are the people around him. His Literature Teacher was funny, and so was his Grandpa. I thought it was amusing how he never seemed to be doing anything but sweeping everywhere.XD The little things you put in like the sisters bashing each other on the head are really funny, and I can picture exactly what it would look like an an animé or manga. Stuff like that really helps make it feel like it could be an animé or manga, it's just the kind of feel I'd like my fic to have if I ever get around to writing it. That's all for now I guess. Keep up the good work.
6th November 2004, 7:34 AM
hey, your new reader here!! 'tis a good story you have in your hands here, keep it up!!
i found a few errors and such (no spelling), but nothing too drastic, i cant rember all of them part from near the end of chap 3, here it is:
Hiro (narration): "...but within the those three days since meeting, I ended up warming up towards Eievui."
i dont get it, well, i know what youre trying to say, but it didnt come out the way it should, oh well...
great cliff hanger, well, kept me wanting more!! cant wait for your next chap, till then cya!
8th November 2004, 6:10 AM
Golden Char, would you believe I spent three hours that day trying to think of a way to end that chapter correctly, and only ended up jotting down whatever dialogue I could think of because I didn't wanna waste anymore time? As I may've mentioned, chapter 3 and 4 were originally gonna be one chapter, but due to how lengthy chapter 3 ended up being, I had to find a way to split it.
Anyway, I started writing this one a day late (I usually write on Saturday), sorry. I hope this chapter seems written well enough, because it's pretty special. It introduces a character that I, as well as some reviewers of the old version, really like, and I hope new readers will come to love this character as well.
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
CHAPTER 4: ACCIDENTAL DEPARTURE
[A shot of the outside of Hiro's school building is shown, and with it, text is displayed saying "4099年4月18日 ( 土 )" (Saturday, April 18, 4099). Concealed in the bushes outside of the building, Eievui is curled up as it takes a nap. The school bell starts to ring and Eievui slowly opens its eyes.]
Eievui: [Drowsily.] "...bui?"
[A mass of students dressed in uniforms walk out of the doors, among them is Hiro, who suddenly stops when someone in the crowd put a hand on his right shoulder. He looks back and sees Chris.]
Hiro: "Eh... Chris-kun?"
Chris: [Closes eyes and grins.] "Yo, Hiro." [Opens eyes.] "I received something very cool yesterday and I wanted to show you it after school."
Hiro: [Turns around to face him.] "Very cool? What is it?"
Chris: "This!" [Holds out a tiny Monster Ball.]
Hiro: "Monster Ball? The league assigned you your first Pokemon already?"
Chris: [Presses the button on the ball's center, causing it to expand to the size of his hand.] "Actually, this is one of my father's old Pokemon. He didn't use it much, so he's letting me have it to start my trainer's journey with."
[Chris holds up the Monster Ball and tosses it to the ground, causing it to open and release some white energy that materializes into an Airmudo.]
Airmudo: [Spreads wings.] "Gyaaaaaasu!!"
[Many of the school students who were walking out stop to stare at the bird. In the bushes, Eievui has just finished yawning and begins walking out towards Hiro, though unnoticed due to the attention towards Airmudo.]
Hiro: [Irises expand and glitter.] "Sweeeeeet! That looks like it would make an awesome pet!"
Eievui: [Stops upon hearing Hiro's comment.] "Bui!?" [Growls angrily.] "Buiiiiiiii!!!"
[When Chris is about to say something, he's interrupted when he sees Eievui jump onto Hiro's shoulders and gnaw at his head.]
Hiro: [Runs around with arms flailing.] "OW! OWWWW!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!"
Chris: [A sweatdrop slides down his head as he looks at Hiro for a moment, then turns to Airmudo.] "Airmudo, Speedstar!"
[Airmudo lowers its head and shoots a stream of stars from its mouth. The stars hit Eievui, knocking it off of Hiro's head and onto the ground.]
Hiro: [Gasps and crouches down to Eievui, nudging it with his hand.] "Eievui! Are you alright?!"
Eievui: [Gets up.] "bui..."
Chris: [Question mark appears over his head.] "Hiro... you know this Eievui?"
Hiro: [Turns head and nods.] "Yeah. It's mine."
Chris: [More question marks start appearing over his head.] "But... I thought... you and Pokemon training..."
[As the number of question marks build up, the Airmudo's bulging eyes roll towards its trainer as a sweat drop slides down its head. The scene changes to show a humming chicada on a tree, which immediately flies away as Airmudo ends up pecking into the tree.]
Airmudo: "Gyaaasu?" [Eyes roll towards the chicada that flew away.] "...gyaaa...aaasu..." [Closes eyes as tears stream down from them. It then looks over and notices a stream with fish leaping out of it. Walks towards stream.]
Chris's voice: "So just a pet, eh?"
[View changes to show Hiro and Chris sitting on a park bench, while Eievui jumps around chasing a yellow butterfly.]
Hiro: [Nods.] "Uh huh."
Chris: "I noticed you mentioning 'pet' when I showed you Airmudo. So you still don't wanna be a trainer?"
Hiro: [Shakes head.] "Nuh uh."
Chris: "I see..." [Closes eyes and sighs.]
[In the background, Airmudo is both drinking water and tilting its head up to eat small fish whole. Eievui continues chasing the butterfly until a Butterfree floats down in front of it.]
Eievui: [Fur turns bushy and shakes, a sweatdrop appears on the back of its head.] "BUIIIIIIII!!!!" [Runs under the bench that Hiro and Chris are on in fright.]
[Hiro looks at the Butterfree and snickers.]
Chris: [Clenches fist.] "Damn, this is really disheartening. I'm leaving on my trainer's journey tomorrow, and for that moment after you said that Eievui was your's, I was hoping we could start off together."
Hiro: "Sorry. Don't feel so bad, I may have just slowed you down or get in your way if I travelled with you." [Lightly smiles.]
Chris: "You're probably right." [Lightly smiles as well.]
[After Airmudo finishes gulping down another fish, it turns around and digs its beak into the ground, shoveling a layer of grass and dirt into its mouth, which it swallows. Afterwards it eats some more dirt. The shoveling noises causes Hiro to turn around and look.]
Hiro: "Hey Chris, is your Airmudo eating dirt?"
Chris: "Yeah, it does that at the end of a meal."
[Eievui quivers under the bench. However, when the same yellow butterfly floats in front of it, and a stag beetle happens to walk by, its eyes widen as it slowly and silently backs away.]
Chris: "Airmudo's digestive tract is able to process metals, like the sediments in common dirt, into a pure form, thereby giving it its metallic skin." [Stretches arms out.] "You may have never heard it before, but among trainers, especially those who studied Steel-type and Rock-type Pokemon, it's common knowledge."
Hiro: [Turns towards Chris with a sweatdrop and half-closed eyes.] "Was it necessary to say that last part?"
Chris: [Chuckles.] "Hey, before I leave... have you ever wanted to fly?"
[Chris looks at Hiro as a smile slowly creeps across his face. The scene changes to show an aerial view of Enju City. An Airmudo flies by with 3 passengers on its back: Chris, who's firmly holding onto the bird's neck, Hiro, who's holding onto Chris's shoulder with his right hand, and Eievui, who's being held against Hiro's chest with his left hand.]
Chris: "It's exciting, eh?"
Hiro: [Sneezes, leaving a drop of snot to hang from his nose.] "It's cold up here."
Chris: [Chuckles.] "Sorry. Normally, you wear coats while doing this."
Hiro: "Don't you have one?"
Chris: [A large sweatdrop slides down his head.] "I didn't bring it to school." [The wind blows off the sweatdrop, which smacks Hiro and Eievui in the faces. Hiro and Eievui frown.]
Hiro: "However, other than the temperature, I like it. You'll be doing this a lot on your journey?"
Chris: "That's right." [Looks down at the city with a smile.] "Freedom and grace has commonly been represented with flying in the skies. While I don't think I'd have 'grace', I am free from my regular life to become a trainer. My freedom would feel a bit incomplete without having the thing that symbolises it."
Hiro: [Eyes half-closed.] "No need for the poetry. You just want to make travel easier and more convenient, right? A few days ago, weren't you interested in experiencing a real-life 'quest'?"
Chris: "Ah?!" [Closes eyes and forces a laugh.] "Well, there's nothing wrong with using tools or party members gained to make a quest easier."
[Suddenly, an airplane passes by in front of Airmudo, causing it to freak out.]
Airmudo: "GYAAAAAASU!!!!" [Flaps wings rapidly and accidentally throws its passengers upwards.]
Hiro & Chris: [Close eyes.] "WAAAA!!!!"
[Hiro continues hanging onto Chris, who continues hanging onto Airmudo, and they safely land onto its back again. However, Hiro accidentally let go of Eievui and it ends up being thrown away from Airmudo.]
Hiro: [Opens eyes in shock.] "EIEVUIIII!!!!"
[Hiro lets go of Chris and holds out his hands to grab Eievui, which he succeeds in doing. However, he loses balance on Airmudo and ends up falling off as well.]
Hiro (simultaneously): "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Eievui (simultaneously): "BUIIIIII!!!"
Chris: "Hiro! Eievui! Airmudo, descend and grab them!"
Airmudo: "Gyasu!" [Swoops down and uses its beak to snatch Hiro by the pant-leg, then slowly flaps its wings as it starts to descend.]
Hiro: [Hangs upside-down clutching Eievui as he looks up to see Airmudo holding him.] "You moron! You steered Airmudo in the direction of the airport."
Chris: [Rubs back of his head.] "Sorry, sorry! I should've paid better attention. Don't worry, I'm landing now."
[Airmudo proceeds to slowly flap to the ground. However, when it's about 15 meters above the ground, Hiro's pant-leg starts to rip.]
Hiro: "Eh?" [Looks at his pants. Speaks frantically.] "Hurry!"
Chris: "O..." "...K?"
Hiro (simultaneously): "WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Eievui (simultaneously): "BUIIIIII!!!"
[Hiro and Eievui end up landing into a crate of cloths, softening their land.]
Chris: [Sighs.] "That was fortunate."
[The crate immediately has its top covered.]
Chris: [Beady eyes and gaping mouth return.] "WHAAAAAAT!?! How could they not notice those two?"
[Chris watches as the crate gets loaded onto a blimp.]
Chris: "Could anyone really be 'that' occupied with their job?" [Closes eyes and clenches fist.] "S***! Now I have to tell this to his sisters..." [Closed eyes start to stream tears, lower lip raises.] "Koume scares me... she'll kill me instantly..."
[Inside the crate, Hiro bangs on the side.]
Hiro: "HEY!! IS THERE ANYONE THERE?! LET US OUT!!" [Stops banging and sighs.] "Dammit! I happen to land in a crate right when it's being closed, seems too coincidental to have happened."
Eievui: [Looks down.] "...buiii..."
[Hiro hears the sound of something scratching outside. Both he and Eievui turn their heads toward it.]
Hiro: "Thank god... HEY, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD LET US OUT!?"
[Scratching sounds stop. Hiro and Eievui look at eachother in confusion. Suddenly, the side of the crate gets smashed in by a rainbow-colored beam.]
Hiro: [Jumps back along with Eievui.] "WAH!"
[When the beam stops, Hiro peers at the newly-formed hole for a moment. He and Eievui crawl towards it and peep outside.]
Hiro: [Looking around the area.] "This looks like the cargo of an airship. Good, that means it's just a short, pleasure cruise instead of something far from home."
Eievui: [Points its paw at something towards the right.] "Bui bui!"
[Hiro turns his head and sees a Kakureon with a blue, zigzag stripe standing there.]
Hiro: "Pokemon...? That's what let us out?"
[The Kakureon stares at Hiro for a moment, then shoots a rainbow-colored beam from its mouth into Hiro's face before scurrying off.]
Hiro: [Holds hand over his face.] "Ouch..."
???: "What's that noise over there!?"
[Hiro and Eievui's eyes widen and they both go back into the crate to hide.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("What'll I do? I didn't mean to be a stow-away!")
???: "Probably just a Koratta."
[Outside of the crate, there stands a couple men wearing black clothes and hats, a giant red R symbol on their shirts. With the two men is a shorter figure, whose skin can't be seen because he's entirely covered in a cloak and is only about as tall of the other two's knees. This figure holds out a pistol and shoots at the crate.]
short figure: "It's not a Koratta, it's a human! I CAN HEAR YOUR BREATHING!!! COME OUT, NOW!!!"
Hiro: [Looks up to see a newly-formed bullet hole in the wall above him.] "Gi.... WAAAAAHHH!" [Runs out of the crate along with Eievui and holds his hands up.] "Stop! Don't shoot, please!"
[The other two men gasp upon seeing that the shorter figure was right. Meanwhile, the short, cloaked figure walks up to Hiro with a gun still pointed at him.]
short figure: "Do exactly as I say and you can live, understood?"
Hiro: "I understand..." [Slowly nods head.]
short figure: "Good. Now..."
-Japan has school on Saturdays. They're half-days, but school days nontheless.
-I'm using the metric system because I involve a lot of Japanese culture and stylings to my story. Of course, Japan uses the metric system, as well as every other country outside of mine (I live in the US, so you know).
13th November 2004, 10:46 PM
I might not be able to get chapter 5 up this weekend. My harddrive's failing and needs replaced, and I'm currently using someone else's computer to write this. Hopefully, I'll have everything back to normal in less than a week. Sorry for the delay.
13th November 2004, 11:20 PM
Wow, this story is really great, each chapter has a lot of good twists, and there hasn't been anything cliched at all about this story. Each of the characters has their own unique personality, too. I'll be looking forward to reading more as you post it.
23rd November 2004, 11:40 AM
I replaced my harddrive, so my computer's finally up and running again. I intend to get chapter 5 up soon, keep patient.
In the meantime, I should mention that I editted my art request. Kura Ewe, who did the character art in the past, is still going to volunteer for me. However, she doesn't have a good coloring program, so I'm reducing my request down to someone who's very nice with CG colors and such.
27th November 2004, 10:04 AM
Sorry again for being so late writing this. That favorite character of mine, whom premiered cloaked in the previous chapter, is revealed. I can't wait to do revisions of later chapters with this guy, where his deep character gets to be delved into ^^. Oh, and on another note, I'm not very good with Japanese onomatopoeia, and someone more educated in Japanese than me (for that matter, he's the guy who volunteered to translate PMC into Japanese) recently told me that large, predatory bird calls are 'gyaasu', not 'guree' like I previously though. Because of this, I editted Airmudo's call in the previous chapter.
-Rocket Gang=Team Rocket
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Rocket Gang=Rocket Dan
-Psyche Beam=Psyche Kousen
CHAPTER 5: HIJACK
[The short, cloaked figure points a gun at Hiro. Eievui, who's standing next to Hiro's feet, snarls at the figure and tries rushing forward.]
Hiro: "Stop, Eievui!"
Eievui: [Stops on command, then looks up at Hiro questionedly.] "Bui?"
Hiro: "Eievui, we'll do what he instructs us to do, alright?"
Eievui: [Slowly nods head in agreement, but looks down in disappointment.] "Buiii..."
short figure: "Why do you take orders from him?"
Eievui: "Bui?" [Quickly looks up at the figure.]
short figure: "Either way, it would be wise to stay back. Now..."
[The short figure points his gun to the cargo's exit. Hiro and Eievui look confused.]
short figure: "Leave. Warn everyone of our arrival."
[The other two men that were with the short figure gasp in shock.]
man 1: "What are you doing?"
short figure: "Tell everyone that Rocket Gang is on this airship, give them all a chance to prepare."
Hiro: "Rocket Gang? That crime organization?"
[The short figure drops his gun.]
short figure: "I hate using man-made objects to fight." [Walks on top of the gun, where the sound of metal crunching could be heard from underneath the cloak.]
[Hiro and Eievui look at the figure in bewilderment, then start to run towards the cargo exit.]
man 2: [Holds up gun.] "Stop!"
[The short figure immediately runs over and punches the man in the gut, causing him to fall over in pain.]
short figure: "I said they could go."
man 1: "Kiryuu-sama, why are you doing this?"
[The short figure stands there without moving his head nor saying a word.]
man 1: "KIRYUU-SAMA!!!"
Kiryuu (short figure): "Several armed guards and Pokemon trainers are on board. If they were caught by surprise, a chance to test my abilities and skills would be wasted." [Slowly brings his sleeve-wrapped arms together. The sound of knuckles cracking can be heard.]
man 2: [Slowly gets up.] "You bas****..."
[The man tries reaching for his gun, but Kiryuu slides it away. The man then tries reaching for one of the Monster Balls on his belt.]
Kiryuu: "Don't humiliate yourself."
man 2: "...gi..." [Pulls hand away from the belt.]
[The gun that was crushed under Kiryuu's feet earlier is shown, and then the scene changes to the passenger section of the airship. There, a security guard stands in Hiro and Eievui's path.]
Hiro: "Will you please listen to me?"
guard: "Why should I trust a stow-away like yourself?"
Hiro: "Rocket Gang is in the cargo area, I'm telling the truth!"
guard: "You're trying to trick us."
Hiro: "Shut up! Why can't you treat this more seriously!?"
???: "What's going on here?"
[The guard turns around, while Hiro and Eievui look around the guard to see the owner of the voice, Utsugi-hakase.]
Hiro: "Utsugi?" [Looks at the man for a moment.] "You sound familiar."
Utsugi: [Collapses, then gets back up.] "What? You don't know who I am? You are from Jouto, aren't you?"
Hiro: "Yeah. Didn't you appear on television one time?"
Utsugi: [Sweatdrops.] "You're kidding, right?"
[Hiro shakes his head.]
Utsugi: "Well, it's time you learn who I am." [Flames appear in the background.] "I am the great Pokemon researcher of the Jouto area, the man who helps out all of its aspiring trainers, I'm Utsugi-hakase!"
Hiro: "Was stating your name really necessary?"
Utsugi: [Flames disappear as he falls sideways. Gets up and pushes his glasses upwards.] "How bothersome. Anyway, what happened?"
guard: "He's a stow-away, Utsugi-hakase."
Hiro: "I didn't get on this airship on purpose. I'm trying to tell this guard that Rocket Gang is in the cargo area, but he won't believe me."
Utsugi: "Rocket Gang? Even if he is a stow-away, a matter like that should be tooken seriously."
guard: "But he could very well be lying."
Utsugi: "Check the cargo before you come to conclusions."
guard: [Sighs.] "Alright. But if he's lying, there'll be consequences."
Hiro: "I'm already a stow-away, why do something so reckless?"
[Hiro, Eievui, and Utsugi watch as a group of guards head towards the cargo area.]
Utsugi: [Tears stream down eyes.] "I can't believe a Jouto citizen doesn't know who I am."
Hiro: [Closes eyes and sweatdrops.] "Well, I don't study up on things like Pokemon researchers." [Looks down with a puzzled look on face.]
Utsugi: "Eh? What's wrong?"
Eievui: [Jumps onto Hiro's shoulder.] "Bui?"
[As Hiro speaks, scenes of the guards walking are shown.]
Hiro: "Rocket Gang caught me, but they let me go."
[The guards enter the cargo area to find Kiryuu, still cloaked, and his two partners whom are standing to the side.]
Hiro: "This short guy told me to warn everyone, to have them all prepare. They let me go so easily, but why would they do that?"
[The guards point their guns at Kiryuu. The scene ends with Kiryuu looking at the guards as a yellow, inhuman eye glints from underneath his hood.]
Utsugi: "Rocket Gang being merciful? That does sound very odd."
[The scene changes back to where Hiro and Utsugi were. A few battered guards enter the passenger area.]
Utsugi & Hiro: "Huh?"
random guard: [Pants.] "Utsugi-hakase... we failed... Hurry and prepare all trainers on the ship. He's strong, but... battling is our last hope."
Utsugi: "U...understood." [Runs in the opposite direction from the doorway.] "HEY, EVERYONE!! ROCKET GANG IS ON THIS SHIP! COME TOWARDS THE CARGO AREA AND PREPARE YOUR POKEMON FOR BATTLE!!!" [Thinking.] ("Did that guard just say 'he'... as in a singular?")
[As panicked screams are heard in the background, as well as trainers running towards Hiro's location, the beaten guards walk away from the doorway. The same guard that didn't believe Hiro earlier looks at Hiro.]
guard: [Looks down.] "So... sorry..."
Hiro: "It's alright."
guard: [Points at Eievui.] "You're a trainer, correct? Are you gonna try fighting as well?"
Hiro: [Eyes widen.] "Me? I'm not a trainer!"
guard: "Whatever you are, you need to fight. If you lose against Rocket Gang... they'll take your Pokemon away from you."
Hiro: "Wh... what?"
Eievui: [Eyes tear up, jumps down into Hiro's arms and sobs into his chest in fright.] "BUIIII.... IIII.... BUIIII...!"
Hiro: [Looks down at Eievui.] "Eievui..." [Looks at the guard.] "I won't let that happen! Eievui, we never battled, but let's try our best to prevent this."
Eievui: [Looks up at Hiro, teary-eyed, and slowly nods.] "Bui."
[Hiro and Eievui stand and wait for someone to enter the doorway. After a moment, Kiryuu, still cloaked, enters the doorway.]
Hiro: [Points finger at Kiryuu.] "Eh? You're that guy who let me go!"
Kiryuu: [Turns his head towards Hiro for a moment, then towards the horde of trainers that stand before him, then sighs.] "I let the kid go to give you all a head start, but you still hardly seem worth my time."
Hiro: "Huh? That's why he..."
random trainer: "Arrogant bas****! You'll regret messing with us." [Slams a Monster Ball to the ground and releases a Kirinriki.] "Use Psyche Beam!"
Kirinriki: "Kiriiiii!" [A light forms on its horns and it shoots a rainbow beam at Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: [Jumps over the beam.] "Hmph... idiot..." [As he starts to descend from his jump, he goes towards Kirinriki. When he's right in front of its face, a green foot sticks out from his cloak and kicks the opposing Pokemon senseless.]
random trainer: [Gasps.] "Ki... Kirinriki...!" [Collapses to his knees.]
Kiryuu: [Walks past the fainted Kirinriki towards the trainers.] "Huh?" [Suddenly stops, looks back, and sees the Kirinriki's tail is still conscious and biting onto his cloak.]
Kirinriki (tail): [Holding part of cloak in mouth.] "Rikiiiiii!"
[Kirinriki's tail pulls back and rips the cloak off of Kiryuu, revealing him to be a Kimori. Everyone watching this is shocked.]
Hiro: "He's... he's a Pokemon? No way..."
Eievui: [Gasps.] "Buiiiii..."
Utsugi: "I've... I've heard about this. Rocket Gang has some talking Pokemon in the organization. I didn't think I'd actually see one for myself."
Kiryuu: [Snarls at the Kirinriki's tail, who's also got its mouth open in shock, and instantly punches it unconscious. Looks towards the trainers afterwards.] "Stop acting surprised and continue fighting me."
Hiro: [Stands to the side. Thinking.] ("I know I said we should try our best. However, this talking Pokemon... it looks so strong.")
Eievui: [Shivering with face in Hiro's chest.] "buiiiiiii...."
random trainer 2: [Steps forward from the crowd.] "Come on, everyone! Just because it talks doesn't mean it's invincible. This type of Pokemon is weak and unevolved. Even if it were otherwise, as trainers, we need to try beating enemy Pokemon such as this, right?"
crowd: [Uproars.] "YEAAAAAH!!!"
Kiryuu: [Smirks.] "Well, everyone should try attacking me simultaneously."
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("Simultaneously? Is he serious?")
[Kiryuu clenches his fists and dashes forward while all the trainers toss their Monster Balls into the air.]
11th December 2004, 7:21 PM
Sorry for being a week late with this chapter. I'll try to write a second chapter for this weekend to make up for it. Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, the Winter fanfic awards have started. Please consider voting me and this fic. BTW, if any fans of the old version are participating, could I please request that you not vote for something that'd be spoiling to the newer readers. In other words, no characters or mention of plots past the current point of the revision. I will PM Shadow Nokutasu and request he disregard any spoiling votes. Just out of curiousity, though, could you PM me if you were going to vote for a future character or event? I'm still interested in knowing how my material fares.
-Break Claw=Crush Claw
-Megaton Punch=Mega Punch
-Continuous Cut=Fury Cutter
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Risky Tackle=Sutemi Tackle
-Continuous Cut=Renzoku Giri
CHAPTER 6: KIRYUU'S SKILL
Kiryuu: [Stands before a crowd of trainers, eyeing them as he cracks his knuckles.] "All of you, try attacking me at the same time!"
male trainer 1: "Heh, you're pretty stupid." [Turns to the other trainers.] "You heard him! He'll have less of a chance if we all attack together! Release as many Pokemon as you feel you can command!"
male trainer 2: "Gotcha. Go, Sawamuraa! Beat that Kimori until he's senseless!" [Tosses down a Monster Ball that releases a white light that forms into a Sawamuraa.]
Sawamuraa: "Mura!" [Starts running towards Kiryuu.]
crowd: [Toss Monster Balls into the air.] "Let's go!"
[A flurry of Monster Balls open up and release several white lights. A Ringuma, a Pukurin, a Kairikii, a Zangoose, a Kodora, and a Yanyanma all form from them.]
Sawamuraa: "Muraaaaa!" [Jumps up and dives towards Kiryuu with his leg extended outwards.]
Kiryuu: [Smirks.] "Heh!"
[Right as Sawamuraa's about to connect, Kiryuu roles out of the way, and Sawamuraa ends up landing on the ground. Sawamuraa looks behind himself to see the Kimori standing a couple meters away.]
Sawamuraa: [Lowers eyelids in anger.] "Mu... MURAAAAA!!!" [Kicks out its right leg, which quickly begins to extend more than its usual length.]
[Kiryuu drops backwards before he's kicked, then he grabs the leg that's extending above him.]
[Kiryuu stands up and starts spinning around while swinging Sawamuraa, whose leg causes him to extend from his arms and strike down some of the human bystanders. After a while of swinging, Kiryuu lets go, causing the Sawamuraa's body to go flying in the direction of all the trainers' Pokemon. All of them quickly get out of the way except for Kodora, who's just barely missed as Sawamuraa's extended leg grazes the top of its spikes. Sawamuraa crashes through a window.]
male trainer 2: "Waah!" [Immediately runs to the broken window and holds out a Monster Ball.] "Return!" [Peaks head and arm out the window and points the ball downwards as it shoots out a red beam that hits the plummeting Sawamuraa and converts it to a red light that goes back into the ball. Sighs a breath of relief.]
[All the trainers with the exception of the one that retrieved Sawamuraa, their Pokemon, Utsugi-hakase, Hiro, and Eievui stare at Kiryuu with their mouths open, shocked.]
Hiro: [Holding Eievui in his arms.] "It's amazing enough that it's able to talk, now this. Hey, Utsugi-hakase, didn't that trainer earlier say this particular Pokemon is supposed to be weak?"
Utsugi: "I'm surprised too." [Eyes start to twitch.] "Such skill... who could have trained such a Pokemon?"
female trainer: [Snarls.] "Zangoose, Break Claw! Defeat him!" [Holds up a fist.]
male trainer 1: "Pukurin, Risky Tackle! Kairikii, Megaton Punch!"
[Zangoose's claw and Kairikii's fist start to glow with energy, while Pukurin breathes in air to inflate itself, floats up a little, then releases all the air to quickly propel itself into the direction of Kiryuu. Unfortunately, Kiryuu jumps upwards, causing Pukurin to smash into the floor.]
Pukurin: [Gets up with swirls in eyes and stumbling in a daze.] "Pukuuuuu...uuu...uuu..."
Kiryuu: [Lands with a kick to Pukurin's back, causing it to fall forward unconsciously.] "I was hoping for a challenge..." [Looks forward to see Zangoose and Kairikii charging forward with glowing hands.] "...today, I was disappointed again." [As Zangoose's Break Claw is ready to connect, Kiryuu jumps onto the back of Zangoose's head, then propels off it to give Kairikii a hard punch in the stomach before it's able to throw its Megaton Punch.]
Kairikii: [Slowly speaks having just had the wind knocked out of it.] "...ka...iiii...." [Collapses to its knees.]
female trainer: "Damn, we underestimated him. Zangoose, counter speed for speed! Continuous Cut!"
Zangoose: "Zaaaaaan....!" [Turns around and quickly swipes claw towards Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: [Catches claw.] "You think speed is my only advantage?" [Lets go of the claw and then quickly grabs Zangoose by the shoulders, lifts it into the air, and headbutts it in the face, knocking it unconscious.] "I have power as well."
female trainer: [Gasps.] "Zangoose..."
[Kiryuu then twirls around to smack Zangoose's feet into the cheek of Kairikii, who was behind Kiryuu on its knees before finally being brought to the ground. Kiryuu tosses Zangoose onto the ground afterwards.]
male trainer 1: [Wide-eyed.] "Ka... Kairikii.... Pukurin...." [Faces downward with eyes closed.] "Dammit! I didn't think you'd both fail..." [Pulls out two Monster Balls and recalls both of his fainted Pokemon.]
[The female trainer recalls her Zangoose as well. The scene changes to the cargo area, where the two Rocket Gang members that Kiryuu was with earlier are sitting on the ground in wait.]
man 2: [Quietly sits with his legs crossed, then after a while changes his position so he's lying with his knees bent upwards and sighs.] "Hey, I know Kiryuu said he would handle it by himself, but..."
man 1: [Sitting in the same position man 1 was in before lying down.] "But what?"
man 2: "Should we be so confident in his abilities, or his loyalty for that matter?"
man 1: "You don't trust him?"
man 2: "Well, I wouldn't want to be too dependant on him. Afterall, even if he's supposedly strong, he could still come across a problem. Besides, to him, humans are..."
man 1: [Lays down as well.] "Would you rather be confident in him, a high-ranking member, or our own abilities? Let's face it, we may be have weapons, we may have decent Pokemon assigned to us, but do we have the actual skill to implement these things?"
man 2: "Just wait a little longer. Kiryuu-sama will have finished them all off easily."
man 1: [Looks at man 2 with a concerned look on his face, then stares at the ceiling.] "That bas****'s loyalty... I still question it."
Kiryuu: [Sighs.] "If I just battled in an open area, I'd be able to fight more opponents at a time. Another disappointment. Oh well, I have a job to do." [Walks towards Utsugi-hakase.]
Utsugi: "Eh?" [Backs into the wall as he notices Kiryuu approaching.]
[Hiro, still holding onto Eievui, scoots a little away from Utsugi as Kiryuu continues walking towards him.]
Kiryuu: "You're the famous researcher, Utsugi, correct? As a researcher, you have several rare Pokemon with you, and as such, Rocket Gang is very interested." [Stops a meter in front of Utsugi.] "Will you agree to give us such Pokemon, or should I use force?"
Utsugi: [Drops to knees with hands clapped together in front of face.] "Please, don't hurt me. I'd hate to give in to your demands, but I feel I have no other choice."
Kiryuu: [Walks until he's right in front of Utsugi and looks him in the face.] "Good. Now where are your Pokemon?"
Utsugi: [Shudders as Kiryuu looms just a little in front of his face.] "They're... they're all at my lab..."
Kiryuu: "None are on you right now?"
Utsugi: [Slowly shakes head.] "N... no..."
Kiryuu: "That so?" [Turns around.] "I can take all these other Pokemon in the mean time." [Prepares to walk away from Utsugi.]
Utsugi: "Wait... this might not be the right situation to be asking this, but I'm intrigued to know about you. How are you able to talk? Who's your trainer?"
[Kiryuu immediately turns around and throws a fist towards Utsugi, but purposely misses to smash it into the wall just a little next to his face. Utsugi gasps with his eyes wide open.]
Kiryuu: [Angrily stares into Utsugi's eyes.] "I trained myself... no one is my trainer, lest of all a human... understood?"
[Utsugi gulps as he slowly nods.]
Kiryuu: [Turns head in direction of voice.] "What?"
[Across the passenger area, one of the guards from earlier is walking forward.]
guard: "I talked to the pilots, we're going to land soon. When we do, there's gonna be some police ready to take you down."
Kiryuu: "Police? What are they going to do? Did you forget how easily I overcame you and the rest of those armed guards?"
[The guard starts to snarl angrily.]
Kiryuu: "I was going to use a parachute to escape, but it seems you've helped make my escape an easier task." [Looks at Utsugi again.] "Though, it's a shame I won't be able to reach your lab. Perhaps we can take you hostage and exchange you for your rare Pokemon."
[Utsugi chokes at the sound of that last sentence. Meanwhile, a frustrated guard slowly reaches towards his belt for a gun, but stops when he notices Kiryuu glaring towards him.]
Kiryuu: "Even if this thing is landing early, it'll be a while. The last time I glimpsed a window, we were over a large forested area. For now, I'll be taking everyone's Pokemon, or if anyone's confident enough, we could continue battling."
Hiro: "Ei... Eievui... I'm not giving you up. Maybe if we can find a way to avoid him until we land..."
Eievui: [Growls while looking towards Kiryuu in anger.] "Buiiii....!"
Hiro: "Huh? You want to attempt battling?" [Looks down at Eievui for a minute, then quickly shakes his head.] "No! You saw what he did to the others! You'd only end up getting hurt!"
Eievui: [Struggles in Hiro's arms.] "Buiiiii...."
Hiro: "Please listen to me...." [Attempts tightening his grip on Eievui.]
Eievui: "BUI!" [Squeezes out of Hiro's arms despite the tightening. Jumps to the ground.] "Buiiiiiiiiii.....!" [Snarls at Kiryuu.]
Hiro: "Ei... Eievui..."
Eievui: [Looks back at Hiro.] "Bui?"
Hiro: [Looks at Eievui for a moment.] "If you're gonna act so stupid, then at least do your best. Remember what's at risk here."
Eievui: [Smirks then nods.] "Bui!" [Looks towards Kiryuu, who's currently walking towards some of the other trainers.] "BUIIIIIIIIII!!!!" [Dashes towards Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: "Eh?" [Turns head to see Eievui charging towards him.]
11th December 2004, 8:14 PM
*shakes you* how dare you leave a cliffy *burts into tears* i wanna know whats gonna happen. *sniff* anyways good chapter loved Kiryuu's reaction to askign where his trainer was ^-^. decsription was awesome evry movement every attack well defined.plot is progressing nicely from what i can see, keep up the good work i can't wait for the next chapter.
19th December 2004, 5:01 AM
I know I said I'd get this up last weekend so as to make up for being a week late last time. However, my college classes have ended now, I have more free time, so maybe I can get up a make-up chapter for this week.
-Seed Machine Gun=Bullet Seed
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Seed Machine Gun=Tane Machine Gun
CHAPTER 7: COURAGEOUS EIEVUI
Eievui: [Dashing towards Kiryuu.] "BUIIIIIIII!!!!"
Kiryuu: "Eh?" [Turns his head as he sees Eievui charging towards him.]
[A shot of Hiro and Utsugi are shown as the sound of a hit is heard.]
Hiro: [Eyes widen, then lowers head and sighs.] "It was expected..."
Eievui: [Lies on the ground with a swollen cheek.] "bui..." [Stands up again.]
Kiryuu: [Holds his fist downwards, indicating that he hit Eievui just now. His eyes close as he snarls.] "This mission has ended up being more and more of a disappointment for me. Has it really gotten to the point where the only thing left willing to challenge me..."
[Eievui charges towards Kiryuu. Kiryuu, with his eyes still closed, lifts up his foot and puts it against Eievui's face when it reaches him. Eievui tries pushing against against Kiryuu's foot but with no luck.]
Eievui: [Moves legs as hard as it could, only to fail pushing Kiryuu again. Starts to sob.] "BUIIIIIIIII....!!!"
Kiryuu: [Opens eyes.] "...is this weak idiot!?"
[Kiryuu moves his foot away, and before the once-pushing Eievui is able to dash forward due to the recent lack of a block, Kiryuu quickly spins and tries to hit Eievui with his tail. However, Eievui notices and jumps into the air. But Kiryuu, still spinning, holds up his fist as it comes around to the air-borne Eievui and punchs Eievui down to the floor, where he has a rather hard impact.]
Hiro: [Gasps.] "Eievui!"
[Starts running forward, but Utsugi grabs his shoulder, stopping him.]
Hiro: [Turns head towards Utsugi.] "Huh?"
Utsugi: "You don't have a Monster Ball, do you? You can't retrieve your Pokemon from a distance, and you've seen what this enemy's capable of doing."
Hiro: [Turns whole body around and holds arms out to side.] "But.... that's my Pokemon..."
Utsugi: [Looks downwards with half-closed eyes.] "I realize how important Pokemon are. However, in this situation, if you act rashly you'll only put yourself in danger as well. He seems like the type that could snap your neck or..."
Hiro: "LET GO!" [Whacks Utsugi's arm off his shoulder and turns in the direction of Eievui and Kiryuu.] "I see no danger in this. If he wanted to snap someone's neck, that guy would've done it a long time ago." [Slowly smirks.] "The most he'll do is give me a punch in the face.... I'm not afraid to pay such a small price for Eievui."
[Hiro starts to run towards the fight scene, where Eievui continually tries running towards Kiryuu only to get smacked away. As Eievui's getting to his feet after getting knocked away...]
Hiro: "YOU BAS****, LEAVE MY EIEVUI ALONE!!!!" [Runs up and tries to swing his down at Kiryuu, whose back is facing away from Hiro.]
Kiryuu: [Jumps up before the fist makes contact, somersaults in the air, and does a backwards drop-kick on Hiro's face.] "Don't f*** with me!"
[From the kick, Kiryuu does a light jump off Hiro's head. He twirls in the air to strike Hiro's face with his tail. The recoil causes Hiro to lean backwards a bit, allowing Kiryuu to land on his chest, and from there, he repeatedly punches Hiro's face with both his left and right fists. He does this until Hiro falls backwards, to which Kiryuu safely jumps backwards onto the ground. Eievui, without making a sound, tries to tackle Kiryuu from behind, but Kiryuu easily jumps to his right.]
Kiryuu: "You're very persistent...." [Suddenly widens his eyes. He thinks to himself.] ("That's...") [Close-up shot of Kiryuu's eye, which has a reflection of Eievui's right ear.]
Utsugi: [Thinking.] ("What's he so surprised about?")
[Kiryuu immediately gets out of his shock. Eievui's still dashing by Kiryuu, just now realizing that its opponent jumped out of the way. Kiryuu kicks it in the side and sends it flying.]
Hiro: [Weakly gets up.] "...gi...ii..." [Wipes some blood trickling from his mouth and turns his head right to look towards Eievui.] "You alright?"
Eievui: [Slowly gets up again and nods at Hiro.] "bui..."
Kiryuu: "Hey, human..."
[Hiro looks down at Kiryuu. While his head isn't turned to face Hiro, his eyes are rolled to the right, indicating that he was referring to Hiro. Meanwhile, Eievui slowly sneaks around.]
Kiryuu: "Where did you find that Eievui?"
Hiro: "Eh?" [Doesn't speak for a moment out of confusion.] "It... just showed up at my house."
Kiryuu: [Turns his body to face Hiro.] "Where are you from?"
Hiro: "Enju City..."
[Eievui ended up walking to a distant point behind Kiryuu, where he tries charging at the lizard while he's busy talking to Hiro.]
Kiryuu: [Without turning around, swings his tail and slams Eievui downwards as it approaches.] "That so?" [Turns around to look down at the fox.]
Eievui: "bu....buiii...." [Struggles to its feet, but falls back down as it's unable to stand up anymore.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes and sweatdrops.] "Stupid Eievui..."
Kiryuu: [Thinking.] ("That thing earlier.... what was it...?") [Crouches down and reaches his hand towards Eievui.]
Hiro: "Hey, what are you doing!?" [Rises back to his feet and tries running at Kiryuu in an attempt to stop what he's doing.]
[Kiryuu turns his head to shoot a stream of glowing pellets from his mouth at Hiro's chin, knocking him backwards again. He turns back to Eievui.]
Eievui: [Shivers in fright. Speaks weakly.] "...buii..."
Female trainer: "No way.... he has techniques like Seed Machine Gun and didn't even use them to defeat us?"
[Kiryuu continues reaching his hand towards the frightened Pokemon, who's helpless to move at the moment.]
Eievui: [Looks at Kiryuu's hand with barely-opened eyes.] "bui......"
Kiryuu: [Sudden close-up on his widening eye.] "UWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" [A full-body shot shows that he's being slammed onto the floor by a rainbow beam being shot into his back. When the beam subsides, Kiryuu leans onto his right arm as he slowly gets up and looks backwards.] "Whaaaaaat?"
Hiro: [Gets up and looks towards where the beam came from as well. Eyes widen in shock.] "That's...."
[From the entrance to the airship's passenger area, a Kakureon with a blue-stripe starts running towards Kiryuu with a smile on its face.]
Kiryuu: [Finishes getting up and turns around with a clenched fist.] "You bas****....!"
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("Now!") [Immediately jumps forward and holds down Kiryuu's arms.]
Kiryuu: "Huh?" ****ies to struggle out.] "S***.... I let my guard down..."
Hiro: [Clenches his teeth as he tries to stop Kiryuu from moving.] "I'm not letting you free..."
Kakureon: "Kurooooooon!" [Runs towards Kiryuu with tongue hanging out, as if making an attempt to lick Kiryuu.]
[Kiryuu shoots glowing seeds out of his mouth to knock Kakureon down. From there, Kiryuu tries pushing Hiro's hands off of his arms. He turns his head around and fires off more glowing seeds at Hiro's face. Though he cringes, Hiro still doesn't let go.]
Hiro: "..hiii.... everyone, help me...."
[A bunch of the trainers from earlier walk towards Hiro and Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: "Stay back!" [Shoots more glowing seeds at the approaching trainers while he continues trying to break Hiro's grip. Not only does he try pushing Hiro's hands off, but he also swings his tail back and forth, whacking each of Hiro's arms, as well as hitting Hiro's hands with his knees.] "You're as persistent as that Eievui."
[Some of the trainers manage to evade the seeds and grab Kiryuu's legs and tail.]
Kiryuu: [Thinking.] ("Dammit... I'm gonna tire very soon....")
Hiro: [Clenches his teeth in agony.] "Giii.... hurry, someone get rope or something..."
[Kiryuu bites down until Hiro's hand starts to bleed.]
Eievui: "Bui!?" [Eyes widen upon seeing Hiro's blood.] "Buiiiiii.....iiii....." [Struggles to stand up, and it manages to succeed. It then rams into Kiryuu's head, the recoil causing his head to point upwards, therefor stopping him from biting.]
Hiro: [Slowly smiles.] "Thanks, Eievui."
Kiryuu: [Moves his head back down and snarls.] "Dammiiiiit..... GURAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" [Manages to push Hiro's hands away, then wildly thrashes about to escape the grip of the other trainers. Once he's freed, he immediately jumps away from them, though still facing them, possibly so as to watch everyone's movements.]
[Hiro and all the trainers gasp upon seeing that they failed.]
24th December 2004, 11:41 PM
Here's that make-up chapter I promised. In case you haven't noticed, I kinda reworked the chapters so that they now have Japanese titles under the English ones (thanks to Delta Suicune for this). I also replaced my rather tacky "END OF CHAPTER" with つづく, and in case you hadn't looked at the notes in my first post lately, it's read as 'tsudzuku' and translates to 'to be continued'. I won't be able to get a new chapter up this weekend, due to the holidays and all, but I'll try and write it on Monday.
CHAPTER 8: PROFESSOR UTSUGI
[An exhausted Hiro lies on the ground, gasping in shock along with the trainers standing around him as they look at Kiryuu.]
Female trainer: [Looks down with closed eyes and clenched teeth as she holds up a shaking fist.] "Dammit! What can we do now?"
Male trainer 2: "Maybe we can stall him until this thing lands."
Utsugi: [Walks up to group of trainers.] "Actually..." [Points over to Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: "Haaaaa....... haaaaa....." [Slowly rises up and down in his heavy breathing. Looks up towards the group of trainers.]
Female trainer: "Sweet! He must've used up all his strength trying to escape." [Smirks and takes out a Monster Ball, which she juggles in one hand.] "I wonder if Zangoose regained consciousness now."
Male trainer 2: [Runs in front of female trainer.] "No. Me and Sawamuraa want revenge, let us do it."
Male trainer 1: [Holds up a hand, palm outwards.] "Hey, hey, this bas**** wanted to fight all of us." [Grins.] "We should just do that."
Kiryuu: [Thinking.] ("Damn... I need to escape, but... my parachute's in the cargo area...")
[The trainers hold up Monster Balls as they loom over Kiryuu.]
Kiryuu: [Thinking.] ("The airship's emergency parachutes... they're my only option...") [Quickly turns around and runs.]
Male trainer 1: "Huh? Where the hell are you running to?"
[The trainers begin to chase after Kiryuu as he runs across the airship. Hiro and Eievui remain laying on the ground, along with an unconscious, blue-striped Kakureon. A few other people stayed behind, including Utsugi.]
Utsugi: [Walks over to Hiro and helps him up.] "You alright?"
Hiro: [Slowly nods.] "Yes."
Utsugi: [Places Hiro on a nearby seat, then looks back at Eievui.] "Eievui also?"
Eievui: [Slowly walks over to Hiro.] "...bui..."
[In the midst of all this, a young boy walks up to the Kakureon lying on the ground. The scene changes to Kiryuu, who stops in front of an emergency exit with some parachutes hanging next to it. Kiryuu looks back, the crowd of trainers hasn't caught up to him yet. Jumps onto the latch, holding onto it as he pushes it down. The emergency exit swings open, then he jumps from the latch to land next to the parachutes again. He starts to grab one of the parachute packs off the hanger, and as he does so, the trainers arive.]
Male trainer 2: [Runs forward holding up Monster Ball.] "We're not letting you escape!"
[Kiryuu fires several glowing pellets into the face of the approaching trainer, knocking him down. The trainer loses his grip on the Monster Ball, which rolls around the feet of the other trainers. Kiryuu quickly pushes the pack out of the doorway as he holds onto the shoulder strap, taking him along with it. As he plummets, he hangs tightly onto the shoulder strap with both his legs and one arm, the other arm reaching up to the cord. He pulls it, causing the parachute to plume out. Recoil almost knocks him off the parachute, but he hangs on by one of his legs.]
Kiryuu: [Curls body upwards to grab onto the strap with other limbs. Looks down towards the forest below for a moment, then starts to think.] ("That Eievui... what was it I saw?") [Thinks back to when he jumped out of the way and Hiro's Eievui ran in front of him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.] ("Maybe it was nothing. I shouldn't waste my time with it.")
[Kiryuu slowly drifts down towards the forest. Back on the airship, in the cargo area, the two men from Rocket Gang who were with Kiryuu earlier now have their hands up as they're surrounded by several guards pointing rifles toward them.]
Man 2: [Snarls.] "He couldn't be trusted... that bas****..."
[Meanwhile, in the passenger area, one of the guards is holding up Hiro by the front of his shirt.]
Eievui: [Looks up at its trainer.] "BUIIII!"
Hiro: [Cringes.] "..gi...i..."
Guard: "I don't care if you helped us against Rocket Gang, you're still in trouble for what you did earlier."
Utsugi: "What're you doing?"
Guard: [Eyes roll toward Utsugi.] "This guy is a stow-away. He needs to take responsibility for his actions."
Guard: "I appreciate his help, but a crime is a crime."
Utsugi: [Looks down at Hiro's depressed Eievui for a moment, then looks towards the guard again.] "Please... as a representative figure, I ask that you excuse this boy for what he's done."
Guard: [Looks at Utsugi.] "Utsugi...-hakase...?" [Slowly lowers Hiro back to the ground.]
Hiro: [Stumbles a bit, then sits back onto a seat. Looks up at Utsugi.] "Representative figure?"
Eievui: [Smiles and jumps onto Hiro's lap.] "BUI!"
Guard: "Very well then." [Turns and walks away.]
Utsugi: [Watches the guard walking away for a moment, then turns to Hiro with a giggle.] "You're not very smart, are you? Top Pokemon researchers like myself hold a really high status."
Hiro: "That so? Oh..." "Thank you so very much."
???: "Hey Big Brother..."
Hiro: "Eh?" [Brings head back up in confusion.]
[Hiro sees that young boy that walked up to Kakureon earlier.]
Boy: "Here." [Lightly tosses a Monster Ball at Hiro.]
Hiro: [Reflexively catches the ball, then looks down at it.] "Huh?"
Boy: "You deserve it for what you did earlier. And since that lizard knocked it out earlier, and you helped the most in defeating it, this is technically your rightful capture."
Hiro: "But... but I'm not a trainer..."
Boy: "You have an Eievui."
Hiro: "That's different."
Boy: "Whatever. I still think you should take it." [Puts hands behind head and walks away.]
Hiro: "W... wait a second...!" [Reaches hand out towards the boy.]
[The boy ignores him as he walks away.]
Hiro: [Blue vertical lines appear over him as he drops his head.] "Geez."
Eievui: [Jumps onto the ground and looks up at Hiro.] "Bui?"
Utsugi: [Smiles and pats Hiro on the back.] "It's alright. You can just become a trainer."
Hiro: "Not interested."
Utsugi: [Stops smiling and patting.] "Oh..." [Smiles again.] "Don't you want to at least see the Pokemon that was given to you?"
Hiro: [Blue lines disappear as head raises again.] "It's obviously that Pokemon that helped me out earlier. The green thing with the blue stripe, able to fire rainbow beams and such."
Utsugi: "That's a Kakureo...." [Eyes widen.] "Blue stripe?"
Utsugi: "Can I see it?"
Hiro: [Sighs.] "Since you asked." [Tosses the Monster Ball onto the floor, releasing a glowing white energy that forms into a blue-striped Kakureon.]
Utsugi: [Gasps and walks over to the Kakureon, kneeling down before it.] "It's true. But I thought Kakureon had red stripes... maybe this is one of those rare, different-colored Pokemon. You are so lucky to have one of these."
Kakureon: [Looks up at Utsugi, then licks his face.] "Reeee....."
[Utsugi falls backwards with a dazed look.]
Kakureon: "Kuron!" [Inhales hard and then releases a rainbow beam that strikes Utsugi in the chin.]
Utsugi: "Hurry, recall it!"
Hiro: [Holds up Monster Ball and looks at it.] "How?"
Kakureon: [Stops firing the beam for a moment to laugh at Utsugi.] "Hahahahaha!!!"
Utsugi: "Squeeze the two halves closer together to fire a retrieval beam."
Hiro: [Holds up ball.] "Like this?" [Clamps the two halves, releasing a red laser that hits Kakureon and converts it to a red energy that goes back in the ball.]
Utsugi: [Sighs a breath of relief and gets back up.] "Thanks, uh...." [Rubs back of his head.] "That reminds me, I never asked for your name."
Hiro: "Hiro... Enju City's Kimono Hiro."
Utsugi: "Kimono.... such an odd surname...."
Hiro: [Smiles, closes eyes and sweatdrops.] "Maybe my ancestor was a famous taylor or something."
[The scene changes to the outside of the airship, as it's finally making its landing at an airport. The passengers all walk out on a ramp, as well as the guards escorting the Rocket Gang members. Hiro, holding his Eievui, walks alongside Utsugi.]
Hiro: "So Utsugi... will you be able to get me back home?"
Utsugi: "I'll discuss that later. For now, there is another reason I excused you from that guard earlier."
Hiro: [Stops walking.] "Eh? What?"
Utsugi: [Stops and turns to face Hiro.] "I want you to come with me to my research facility."
-Addressing a stranger as 'Big Brother' or 'Big Sister' can be equivalent to calling someone 'Mister' or 'Miss' in English.
-From what I’ve heard, surnames are relatively new in Japanese history. When they were being assigned to commoners, the names were made based on one of that clan’s notable characteristics or habitats.
25th December 2004, 7:41 AM
hey!! im back from not reading this fic, to reading this fic again!!
i find this fic very familiar, yet great. it shows (some parts) how the japanese culture works, and also this fic has a great plot, and i cant wait to read more
i found two errors, both on this page (i cant remember where they are, so sorry) but, two is a very small number for errors (in my books)
so, ill give this fic a ;004;, being such a fic, that im gonna read the rest of the chaps!!
4th January 2005, 9:16 PM
Well this is a fine example of a well written script format although I prefer the original.
6th January 2005, 6:14 PM
Poor Hiro he' stuck with an Eievui and a Kakureon. I have a feeling he's not going to want to work with Kakureon all that much considering it seems to have an attitude. Kiryuu's escape was nice and i'm glad to see it wasn't easy to hold on to the parachute. The only thing I didnt like was that Hiro didn't know how to recall a pokemon he had to have seen his sisters do it at some point and atleast have had a clue, otherwise this was another great chapter.
7th January 2005, 1:29 PM
um... unlike the anime, his sisters' Pokemon aren't kept in a ball. In case you didn't notice, they seem free to just walk around where they please.
Sorry for being so late with this one. Holidays kinda distracted me. I got a new computer, it took me a while to both move my harddrive over to it and get everything working perfectly. Afterwards, Wind Waker distracted me for a while. I was trying to finish it (the 1st quest at least) before I started playing with some of the new games I got for Christmas. Anyway, I'll try to get more chapters in soon to make up for lost time. Oh, and there's this one part near the end where Hiro has a lot of speaking lines and actions occuring. I thought it'd look good if I formatted it so a new line started when he spoke after each action. If I should correctly format this in a different way, though, please tell me.
-Wakaba Town=Newbark Town
-Yoshino City=Cherrygrove City
CHAPTER 9: ARRIVAL IN WAKABA TOWN
[The sun is setting. In front of an unloading airship at the airport, Hiro and the Eievui he's holding are standing before Utsugi.]
Utsugi: "Kimono Hiro, I would like for you to come with me to my research facility."
Hiro: "Eh? Why?"
Utsugi: [Push up his glasses.] "I... have my reasons."
Hiro: [Looks down at his Eievui.] "It's something concerning Eievui, isn't it?"
Utsugi: [Nods head.] "Yes."
Hiro: [Tightly clutches Eievui. Clenches teeth in anger.] "What do you want with it?"
Utsugi: [Closes eyes and holds up hand, palm facing Hiro.] "Please, don't act hesitant. You can trust me."
Hiro: [Calms down and returns to a normal stance.] "Well, you did help me earlier."
Utsugi: [Smiles and holds up index finger.] "And I could probably help find a way to get you back home later."
Hiro: "Huh?" [Looks down towards his Eievui.]
Eievui: [Closes eyes and smiles gleefully.] "Buiiiiii...."
Hiro: "Eievui..." [Looks back towards Utsugi.] "Eievui seems okay with it, so I'll trust
Utsugi: "Alright. Let's go." [Turns around and walks away.]
Hiro: [Runs up to Utsugi and begins to walk alongside him.] "Um.... where are we?"
Utsugi: "Yoshino City. It's located very close to Wakaba Town, where my lab is located."
Hiro: "I see."
[The scene changes to the outside of the airport. Here, we see a lab truck driving away. Inside, Hiro and Eievui are sitting in the front left seat, while Utsugi drives in the front right seat.]
Hiro: "So... what are you going to do with Eievui? Are you still gonna keep that a secret?"
Utsugi: "Well... if you must know..." [Taps chin with right index finger, still steering with left hand.] "Ummm...." [Stops tapping chin after a moment.] "Alright, I'll tell you."[Hiro and Eievui turn towards Utsugi, there attention entirely on him.]
Utsugi: "The thing is... I've studied several Pokemon, but not an Eievui. They're a pretty rare species."
Hiro: "In Enju City, they're actually very common. For that matter, each of my sisters have their own evolution of it."
Utsugi: "That so?"
Hiro: [Nods.] "You were leaving from Enju City's airport?"
Utsugi: "Yes. I was conducting some research there."
Hiro: "Why didn't you just catch a specimen while you were there?"
Utsugi: [Sweatdrop slides down head.] "Um.... I didn't happen to come across any wild Eievui there."
Hiro: [Half-closes eyes.] "You have horrible luck, don't you?"
Utsugi: [Two more sweatdrops appear.] "Perhaps..." [Sweatdrops disappear.] "Hey, about you and your Eievui...?"
Hiro: "Huh? What?"
Utsugi: "You're very close to it, aren't you?"
Hiro: "A little."
Utsugi: "A little? You seemed to have reacted pretty strongly towards it during the
encounter with that Kimori earlier."
Hiro: "I only met this Eievui a few days ago."
Utsugi: "Eh?" [Turns head towards Hiro for a moment. Without his eyes on the road, the truck starts to swerve a bit, but his attention turns back to it when another car beeps its horn.] "Only a few days?"
Hiro: [Nods.] "Yeah."
Utsugi: "And you already developed such a close bond with it?"
[Hiro looks down at Eievui with a puzzled face.]
Eievui: [Looks up at Hiro confusedly.] "Bui?"
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("When I think about it... I'm a bit surprised myself.")
[The scene changes. It's night now, and the truck, with its headlights on, is entering a rather small and peaceful-looking town, full of small houses. Each house being pretty well-spaced apart from eachother and two stories on average, nearly all of which have their indoor lights on. Hiro and Eievui look out the window to gaze at the town's scenery. After a moment, the car parks in a lot next to a large building, about 3 stories high and several decameters in width on each side. There was also a large row of fencing behind the building.]
Hiro: [Gets out of the car and looks up at the building.] "Su-weet... so this is your lab?"
Utsugi: [Nods.] "Let's go."
Eievui: "Bui." [Jumps out of Hiro's arms and follows Utsugi.]
Hiro: [Nods.] "Yeah." [Follows Utsugi as well.]
[The three come up to a double door which Utsugi pushes open. Inside is a large, carpeted room filled with furniture such as couches and a coffee table, as well as a refrigerator, with a water cooler and several dishes next to it. There's also a maid, who was dusting the room until she noticed that they entered.]
Maid: "Ah..." [Bows towards Utsugi.] "Utsugi-sama, welcome back."
Utsugi: "Tomoko-san, good evening." [Waves at her. Looks down at Hiro.] "This is Hiro-kun. He's going to be waiting in here while I examine his Eievui."
Tomoko (maid): "Huh? Eievui.... but you already...."
Utsugi: "Tomoko-san..." [Closes eyes as sweatdrop slides down head.] "I just remembered that I needed you to do a special task today. Come with me."
Tomoko: "Yes." [Goes to a door across from the entrance and holds it open, head bowed down.]
Utsugi: [Walks over to door with Eievui walking next to him. Turns to Hiro.] "I should be finished soon. In the mean time, you can call your family with our video phones over there."
[Points finger in a certain direction.] "The toilets are there...." [Points in another direction.]
[Hiro's stomach growls. Both Hiro and Utsugi sweatdrop.]
Utsugi: "You hadn't eaten for a while, eh? You're allowed to use that fridge there." [Points to the fridge.]
Hiro: "Thank you. See ya, Eievui." [Waves to Eievui.]
Eievui: [Turns towards Hiro.] "Buiii."
[Utsugi and Eievui enter the doorway, with Tomoko following, closing the door behind her. After they left, Hiro opens the fridge door and looks through the selection of food.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] ("I only met Eievui a few days ago.") [Grabs one of the plates stacked next to the fridge and puts a cucumber and a couple riceballs onto it.]
("When I first met it, I didn't even like it.") [Grabs a glass and pours water from the water cooler.]
("And I only took it in as my pet because it wouldn't stop annoying me.") [Places the food and water he gathered onto the coffee table, then lays down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.]
("Yet... afterwards, I refused to get rid of it...") [Thinks back to when Tamao was kneeling before him in apology.]
("I risked my life to save it...") [Thinks back to when Chris's Airmudo grabbed the leg of his pants after he jumped forward to save Eievui from plummeting. In the present, Hiro looks at his torn pant leg.]
("And now, I did everything I could to prevent it from getting stolen.") [Thinks back to when he was holding down the Kimori, Kiryuu, with as much effort as he could. After thinking about that, he grabs the cucumber off the plate with his right hand, removes the clear plastic wrapping, and crumples the wrapping in his left hand.]
("How did I develop a close bond with that Pokemon so quickly?") [While still staring at the ceiling, takes a big crunch out of the cucumber. After chewing and swallowing, he sighs and speaks out loud.]
"I need to remember to call home. How is everyone doing right now?"
[The scene changes to show Chris on his knees, his hands tied behind his back and his head locked in place as it lays against a block of wood. Standing over Chris is a rather slim figure with glowing eyes, wearing a midieval executionar's mask and holding up an axe.]
Chris: "PLEASE STOP IT!!!"
-Japanese cars have the driver seat on the right, passenger seat on the left.
16th January 2005, 6:01 AM
good job! keep it up yamato!
9th February 2005, 10:18 PM
Wow!The entire story is simply amazing! (sorry to use the english names but) An extremely strong Treecko is what completely blew me away. I was thinking of doing something SIMILAR in my fic but it looks like you beat me to it. Don't let this fic die! Keep writing!
14th February 2005, 9:02 AM
Forgive the month-long hiatus. I was busy writing a one-shot for a contest (http://www.serebiiforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=49116&page=5&pp=20) in hopes of winning and gaining extra recognition. In other news, I installed Microsoft Word and am now able to do character counts. If you’ve noticed my previous chapters seemed short, that’s because I was intentionally trying to keep them below 20,000 characters (which is how much is allowed on Pokecommunity). But since I couldn’t do a count, I just ended the chapters when I thought they looked long. That won’t be a problem for me anymore.
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Water Stone=Mizu no Ishi
CHAPTER 10: UTSUGI’S LAB
[The waiting room for Utsugi’s laboratory is shown, with nobody in it apparently. The sound of a toilet is then heard flushing, followed by the sound of a sink dispensing water. After the noise stops, Hiro is seen at a lit doorway. He turns off the light, walks into the waiting room, and closes the door behind him. Hiro looks toward the video phones stationed at the wall across. He nods and walks forward. The scene changes to show Utsugi holding Eievui as he walks across a dimly lit hall, with Tomoko walking next to him. Along the way, Eievui gazes at the stuff along the walls, which includes things such as various Pokemon skeletons, stuffed Pokemon, and body parts contained in jars of alcohol.]
Eievui: [Shudders.] “…bu….iiiiii……”
[Eievui looks up at Utsugi, whose glasses are reflecting light and blocking his eyes at the moment. Tomoko opens the door to a dark room, and upon turning on the light, Eievui gasps and widens its eyes upon seeing what the room contains. In the center is an examination table, and along the walls are posters which display pictures of various Pokemon’s muscular structures, as well as dead Pokemon on their backs, their abdomens cut open and the skin folds pinned outwards to reveal the organs inside, organs with identifiable text next to them on the posters. Among these Pokemon in the posters is an Eievui.]
Eievui: [Closes eyes and shrieks.] “BUIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!”
[The scene changes to show a terrified Chris, who is down on his knees with his hands tied behind his back, and head locked in place as it lays against a slab of wood. Standing over him is a slim figure wearing a midieval executioner’s mask and holding up a giant axe.]
Executioner: [Looks down at Chris.] “You are… ready to see Hell?”
[A little away from Chris and the executioner, Chris’s Airmudo is shrieking in pain while flames surround it.]
Chris: [Closes eyes and shouts.] “Stop! I said ‘sorry’, and don’t you think this is a bit extreme? Stop, please!”
Executioner: [Lowers eyebrows.] “Simple apologies are never enough to repent for the actions you’ve commited.” [Holds up axe.] “Die!”
[Hiro’s grandfather suddenly walks into the scene.]
Grandpa: “Hey, Koume-chan. Hiro’s on the phone right now.”
Executioner: [Keeps holding axe in the air, stares towards Hiro’s grandfather, and blinks a couple times.] “Eh?”
Grandpa: “He’s safe, so stop torturing that boy and come talk to him.” [Turns and walks away.]
Executioner: “Y…..yes!” [Puts axe upright on the ground and pulls off mask, revealing the face of Koume, Hiro’s sister.]
[In the distance, Koume’s Booster is shown to be the one spewing fire at Airmudo, whose eyes are widened into overexaggerated cartooney ovals, large and yellow with a little dot in the middle.]
Koume: [Lets go of axe and lets it fall down toward Chris.] “That’s good, Booster.”
Booster: [Stops breathing fire and nods toward Koume.] “Buusu…”
Chris: [Eyes widen as he looks up toward the falling axe.] “Uwaaaaa!!” [Clenches teeth and eyes shut as he puts head down before the axe hits. The axe ends up bouncing off his neck and landing on the ground. Chris opens his eyes, which now appear beady, with a couple of blinks. He looks toward the axe on the ground.] “This is….. hollow plastic….?”
Airmudo: [Still has eyes overexaggerately open and body appears red and steaming. Eyes return to normal and slowly close as it starts to fall forward.] “….gyaaaasu…” [Hits the ground, slightly bouncing off a couple times before laying still.] “…gya….”
[Gathered around a video phone is Hiro’s five sisters, their Pokemon standing behind them, and his grandfather. Sakura’s talking into the receiver. On the monitor is Hiro, who’s also holding a phone receiver up to his head.]
Sakura: “Hiro, are you alright? Where are you?”
Hiro: “I’m fine. Right now, I’m at Utsugi-hakase’s lab.”
Tamao: [Gasps and snatches the receiver from Sakura. Sakura’s eyes turn beady.] “Eh? Utsugi-hakase? ‘That’ Utsugi-hakase?” [Hiro nods.] “No way! Why are you there?”
Hiro: [Scratches back of head.] “Utsugi says he’s going to find a way to return me home. I’ll explain when I get back.”
Tamao: [Puts on an evil smirk. Looks back at her Blacky, who eyes her suspiciously, then turns back to the receiver and whispers into it.] “Before you leave, please search for any secrets concerning him. Guys like him should have a lot of money.”
Hiro: [Closes eyes.] “No.”
Tamao: [Leans toward the monitor.] “Please.”
Tamao: [Closes eyes, holds receiver to her head with her shoulder and claps hands together in a begging stance.] “Please do it.”
Hiro: [Opens eyes and snarls.] “I said ‘no’!!!”
[Tamao falls backwards after Hiro’s shout. A sweatdrop slides down the head of everyone in the room except Tamao. Tamao’s mouth is gaped open and her closed eyes stream tears. Blacky looks down at her, closes its eyes, sighs, and shakes its head.]
Satsuki: “Is Eievui with you?”
Hiro: [Shakes head.] “Nope…” [Stops shaking head.] “Utsugi wanted to examine it. He’s doing that right now.”
Satsuki: “But wouldn’t a researcher like him already know a lot about it?”
Hiro: [Shrugs.] “He says he hadn’t.”
[The scene changes to show Hiro on the other side of the phone, viewing his family on the monitor. Chris suddenly pops up from the bottom of the screen, with a wooden block hanging down from his neck.]
Hiro: [Eyes widen, sweatdrop slides down head.] “Eh?”
[Chris appears to be shouting on the monitor, but only a faint, muffled voice is head. Satsuki turns to him and closes her eyes.]
Satsuki: “You need to talk into the receiver.” [Holds receiver up to Chris’s head.]
Chris: “Help me, Hiro! Koume is…..” [Closes eyes, tears streaming down them.] “Koume’s been torturing me since I told your family what happened. I’ll never start my trainer’s journey if I remain being treated like a prisoner.”
[Koume, whom has an angry expression on her face, kicks Chris in the back of the head a couple times and then pushes her foot against his back. She appears to be shouting, but again, they’re only muffled sounds.]
Hiro: “Koume Sister…..”
[Koume loses her angry expression and looks toward the screen questionedly.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes.] “Even if it was Chris’s fault, I’m alright now. So could you please release him?”
[Koume closes her eyes, rubs the back of her head, then appears to laugh. She kneels down, unstraps the wooden block off Chris, and unties his hands.]
Chris: [Speaks into the receiver.] “Thank you!” [Immediately dashes off afterwards.]
[The scene changes to Eievui on the examination table, shuddering in fright as Utsugi holds its left ear, which Utsugi peers into. Tomoko stands at a distance looking onward.]
Tomoko: “Don’t be afraid. All those Pokemon were already dead when their bodies were used for scientific research. Utsugi-sama isn’t going to harm you.”
Eievui: [Stops shuddering.] “Bui?”
Utsugi: “Hm…. a Kimori’s eyes are much sharper than a human’s, so maybe…..” [Turns to Tomoko.] “Tomoko-san, you know where the magnifying glasses are?”
Tomoko: “Yes. I’ve washed items in this room before.” [Walks over to a drawer and opens it, revealing its contents of various magnifying lenses.] “Um…..”
Utsugi: “Any type will do.”
Tomoko: [Grabs a magnifying glass, closes the drawer, and walks over to Utsugi.] “So why are you examining this Eievui? And why did you lie to that boy?”
Utsugi: [Grabs magnifying glass.] “I have suspicions.” [Holds magnifying glass in front of eye and continues examining Eievui’s ear with it.]
Tomoko: “Over this Eievui?”
[Utsugi continues searching sections of the ear through the glass. Suddenly his eyes widen, he gasps, and then backs away.]
Tomoko: [Stares toward Utsugi.] “What’s wrong?”
[Utsugi walks over to the drawers, opens several of them, and takes out rubber gloves, which he puts on, as well as tweezers, a q-tip like stick, a couple plastic bags, a tiny syringe, a small bottle, a cotton ball, and a gauze strap.]
Eievui: [Lifts head up and looks toward Utsugi.] “Bui?”
Utsugi: [Walks over to Eievui, holding the items.] “I’m going to the D.N.A.-research room.” [Holds Eievui as he plucks off a few of its hairs.]
Eievui: [Winches.] “….bui!”
[Utsugi puts the hairs into one of the plastic bags.]
Utsugi: [Opens Eievui’s mouth, rubs the stick against the roof of its mouth, and puts the stick in the bag.] “I’ll be there for a while.” [Grabs Eievui’s left foreleg, feels for a vein, spreads the fur from a very narrow bald spot and sticks the syringe into it.]
Eievui: [Closes eyes and screams in pain.] “BUIIIIII!!”
Utsugi: [Pulls out the syringe, now filled with a small amount of blood, and ejects that blood into a small bottle, which he closes afterwards.] “Return Eievui to Hiro. Don’t tell him anything about this.” [Puts cotton ball on Eievui’s foreleg and wraps it in gauze.]
Tomoko: “But….” [Gets handed Eievui, which she holds.]
Utsugi: “Tell him I’m currently trying to book his travel reservations. To let him think that I was fully examining his Eievui, tell him…” [Looks back at Eievui and examines it for a moment.] “Tell him it’s a male, less than a year of age.” [Grabs the plastic bags and bottle, then dashes out of the room.]
Tomoko: [Steps toward Utsugi.] “Please wait…!”
[Utsugi continues to run down the hallway. Tomoko looks down at the Eievui.]
Eievui: [Looks up at Tomoko.] “Bui?”
Tomoko: [Closes eyes and sighs.] “What the hell is happening?”
[Inside of a large laboratory, a short, dark blue-haired man, sporting a lab coat and holding a coffee mug, sits in front of a computer screen. He takes a sip of his mug before placing it on the desk next to the keyboard, then he droops his head forward. On the computer screen, there’re several open windows. In one window, there’s a movie of a Nyorozo touching a Water Stone and evolving into a Nyorobon. In another, there’s a 3D model of a D.N.A. molecule that flashes, then lightly changes in correspondence to the movie of the evolution. In another window, green text is typed out in Roman lettering “ISI_NO_SINKA.DAT” before a long column of text appears below and automatically scrolls downwards.]
Utsugi’s voice: “Manabu-kun!”
[The man suddenly chokes, widens his eyes.]
Man (Manabu): “Se… Sensei….” [Stands up straight and turns around, facing Utsugi, who was behind him.] “I wasn’t getting bored, please trust me. I’ve just been awake since 4 o’clock….”
Utsugi: [Holds up hand.] “It’s alright, it’s alright.”
Manabu: [Sighs and sits back down in his chair.] “So how was your trip to Enju City?”
Utsugi: “Not now….” [Holds up plastic bags and bottle.] “Here.”
Manabu: “Eh?” [Grabs the bag with hairs inside and identifies it.] “These are Massuguma hairs, correct?”
Utsugi: “Your identification skills need improvement.” [Hands the saliva bag and blood bottle to Manabu.] “From an Eievui.”
Manabu: [Holds items in one arm while he snaps his fingers with his other.] “Damn….” [Grabs bottle with his free hand.] “So you want this all identified?”
Utsugi: [Nods.] “Try to find anything unusual about it from average Eievui D.N.A.”
Manabu: “Understood.” [Picks up his coffee mug, looks down at it.] “But I might have to stay up all night for this.” [Sighs, then takes another sip of his mug.]
[Scene changes to the waiting room, where Hiro lays on the couch and holds Eievui over his head.]
Hiro: [Looks up at Eievu’s foreleg, which has a cotton ball wrapped around it, then shudders.] “I dislike blood samplings…. So you’re a male, eh Eievui?”
Hiro: “Strange… I always pictured you to be feminine.”
Eievui: [Clenches teeth, eyes turn pupilless, vein throbs on head, and he begins struggling out of Hiro’s hands.] “Buiiiii…!!!”
Hiro: “I’m kidding.”
Eievui: [Calms down and closes eyes.] “Bui bui…”
Eievui: [Opens eyes and looks down at Eievui questionedly.] “Bui?”
Hiro: [Places Eievui on the couch next to him.] “Why did you suddenly come to my house… why did you suddenly get attached to me…?”
Eievui: [Walks onto Hiro’s chest and stares down into his eyes.] “Iibui, buiiii… bui bui buiiii….” [Closes eyes and smiles.] “Ii… bu… i…”
[Eievui jumps away from Hiro’s chest as Hiro rolls around to lay on his side.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes.] “I wonder when Utsugi can return me home.”
Eievui: [Lays down on the couch in a curled position. Sighs.] “…bui…” [Closes eyes as well.]
[The scene changes to distant view of the outside of Utsugi’s lab. Over the horizon, the sun is beginning to rise. As it slowly does so, a Yorunozuku flaps into a hole in a tree and closes its eyes. Afterwards, a whole swarm of Ledyba and Ledian fly out of some bushes in the distance, flying across the skies as the sun behind them lights up the ground beneath them. Inside Utsugi’s waiting room, sunlight shines through the window and onto the couch, where a sleeping Hiro and Eievui lay. The text "4099年4月19日 ( 日 )" (Sunday, April 19, 4099) is displayed briefly. The sound of a door opening is heard in the distance, and the pair fidget before opening their eyes, yawning, and then getting up and stretching their limbs.]
Hiro: [Rubs eyes.] “Utsugi?” [Turns around to see it was Utsugi that opened the door just now.] “I’m going home soon, right?”
Utsugi: “Um… well, we have a problem.”
Hiro: [Lowers eyelids.] “You said ‘problem’?”
Utsugi: [Nods.] “But don’t worry, we have a solution to it.”
Hiro: [Crosses arms.] “So I see. What is this solution?”
Utsugi: [Pushes glasses upwards.] “Kimono Hiro… you should travel, and…” [Points finger at Hiro.] “Become a Pokemon trainer!”
Hiro: [Mouth gapes open, eyes turn pupilless and widen.] “Wh…. wh…. wh…. wh…. wh….”
Eievui: [Looks at Hiro and slowly backs away before hitting the back of the couch, which he then begins to sink back into.] “…bui…..buiii….”
Utsugi: [Looks toward the stuttering Hiro.] “Eh?” [A word bubble with a question mark in it appears next to him.]
[The scene changes to show the outside of Utsugi’s lab.]
Hiro’s voice: “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!”
[A flock of Poppo flies out of a tree near the lab. The scene changes to the spot in front of the computer in the D.N.A.-research room. Spilt coffee and pieces of a shattered coffee mug lay on the floor. Manabu lays back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling with bags under his eyes.]
Manabu: “In my whole life, I’ve never been this tired…” [Reaches down for the broken handle of his mug.] “And yet, I can’t sleep.” [Lets handle slip out of hand and hit the floor again, cracking a little more.] “That D.N.A…. unusual, yet somehow familiar…” [Closes eyes and leans further back in chair.] “This…. what is this?”
15th February 2005, 5:33 AM
Really captivating and interesting story, so now I'm wondering what's the deal with Eievui, and what's going to happen next. This story is extremely well written, great job.
The Big Al
15th February 2005, 12:35 PM
I'm wondering too. What could be so important about him.
Plastic axe XD.
16th February 2005, 3:21 AM
This is a really interesting story that is just exciting. It's the type of fic where you just can't wait for the next chapter. It also feels different from most journey fics since it feels dark. Keep up the good work.
16th February 2005, 5:17 AM
Kanto Trio, you didn't pay much attention to the old version, did you? Your spoil about Eievui is far from correct. Anyway, I'd refrain from posting any spoilers here, because any curious person could highlight the text and end up ruining up to quite a ways into the story. If anyone is that desperately spoiler-hungry, they can take the effort to read through the old version. Given, many of the stuff there is bound to change, but most of the stuff concerning Eievui's origins in the old version shall remain intact.
17th February 2005, 11:06 AM
great chaps yamayo-san!! nothing i can correct on you, maybe a bit of japanese spellings though:
you wrote Airmudo, i think it should be written Airamudo, there's a e-a-mudo in the pronouncuilation of the name, but i dont care, still great fic!! keep it up!
17th February 2005, 1:32 PM
I'm pretty sure 'ea' is 'air'. I know you can see all the Japanese Pokemon names on that one thread now, but every so often, I will make my own romanizations of a Pokemon's name based on my knowledge of katakana and common sense (ex. I spell "Kootasu" as "Coatoise", since it's a combination of the English words 'coal' and 'tortoise'), so watch out for those.
And I really don't need advice on how the use of English in Katakana works. I have had quite my share of seeing English words written out in symbols, and I've been seeing it for years now. Hell, katakana's among the first things I've learned about Japanese. トラスト・ミー・ホエン・アイ・セイ・アイ・ノー・マイ・ウェイ・アラウンド・ザ・ユース・オブ・イングリ ッシュ・イン・カタカナ (Trust me when I say I know my way around the use of English (Engrish) in Katakana).
17th February 2005, 2:54 PM
That was the greatest fic I've ever read! Could you please PM me when you get the next chapter up? I'm always on here, but I never bother to check all of the threads on here.
By the way, do you still have that other one up? The old one?
The Big Al
19th February 2005, 10:56 PM
I was wondering, will the Rocket Gang try to use Hiro's family against him?
11th March 2005, 3:40 AM
This fanfic's intresting...I've never read a a scirpt before. The plot exceedingly orginial and gave me a few ideas for my own fic. (Sorry for the crappy reveiw but I haven't reviewed in a while)
11th March 2005, 9:08 AM
OK, I had this chapter posted before the forums went down, but since everything between the forums going down and the previous Saturday got deleted, I'm posting this again. And no, I didn't make a new chapter during the downtime, sorry. I just ran into a slight bit of writer's block, please be patient.
BTW, before the forums went down, I requested that people nominate me for the Poke Oscar Awards going on right now. I can only hope the deadline for nominations has been extended due to what's happened. And again, any fans of the old version, do not nominate something that hasn't occured in the revision due to spoilers to new readers and because there's a chance it might be different in the revision, if not removed entirely.
-Thread Spit=String Shot
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Thread Spit=Ito wo Haku
-Pokemon Encyclopedia=Pokemon Zukan
CHAPTER 11: TRAINER’S JOURNEY, BEGIN!
[Inside Utsugi’s waiting room, Eievui sits on the couch while Hiro and Utsugi stand across from eachother.]
Hiro: [Looks downward with a half grin. Makes a light chuckle.] “hehe…. hahaha….”
Hiro: [Raises head and points finger at Utsugi.] “That was a good joke. But seriously, how can I return?”
Utsugi: [Stands speechless for a moment before talking.] “Hiro-kun, I know you said you’re uninterested in being a trainer. However, I’m telling the truth. I can’t book a flight, and everyone here is too busy to escort you. The only way you’ll be able to return is by walking. Out in the wild, you will likely be attacked by wild Pokemon, in which case, you will need to be able to defend yourself.”
Hiro: [Crosses arms and lowers head.] “Geez, you’re serious, aren’t you?” [Raises head and thinks.] (“Damn, what the hell do I do? I can’t abuse Utsugi’s hospitality until another solution arises…. but, to become a trainer?”) [Clenches teeth.]
Utsugi: “You only have to do it until you get back to your home. You can quit afterwards.”
Hiro: “That’s right….”
Utsugi: “And it shouldn’t be too difficult for you. I looked up your records and discovered you had been in an advanced trainer class last year, and you’re currently taking one this year.”
Hiro: [Looks down.] “Um…. I didn’t want to take them. And I never applied whatever I could remember.”
Utsugi: “That so…?” [Sweatdrop slides down head. Thinks.] (“That’s why he couldn’t return that Kakureon earlier.”) [Speaks out loud.] “Well, you only need to know the basics to get a license.”
Hiro: “What about money?”
Utsugi: [Smiles.] “It’s alright. The Pokemon League gets a lot of sponsors, so food and medical care at Pokemon Centers are free. You also get an allowance based on how much you train your Pokemon?”
Hiro: “How….?” [Stops for a moment and widens eyes, then grabs Kakureon’s Monster Ball from his pocket and holds it toward Utsugi.] “Do these things record that kind of data?”
Utsugi: [Closes eyes and nods.] “Yeah. Anyway, I’ll show you to the licensing building.”
Hiro: “Can you direct me to a good tailor as well?”
Utsugi: [Opens eyes.] “Eh?” [Adjusts glasses and looks at the rip on Hiro’s pant leg.] “Ah, right. It would be inconvenient to travel in a school uniform.” [Takes hand off glasses.]
[The scene changes to the inside of a clothing store. Utsugi and Eievui wait outside of a booth with a curtain. After a moment of waiting, Hiro, who was behind the curtain, pushes it aside and reveals him wearing a different set of clothes. He now sports the same clothes he wore at his home earlier, sneakers, jeans, and a baggy white sweater with a blue zigzag pattern at the end of each sleeve.]
Eievui: “Bui!” [Jumps onto Hiro’s shoulder and smiles.] “Bui bui.”
[The scene changes again to show Hiro, Eievui, and Utsugi outside of a large, one-story building.]
Hiro: “So I just go in here, pass a test, and get my license, right?”
[Utsugi nods, then Hiro hands him Kakureon’s Monster Ball.]
Utsugi: [Looks down at it.] “Eh?”
Hiro: “You said uniquely-colored Pokemon like this are rare, right? Take it. Maybe you could use it for research or something.”
Utsugi: “Uh….” [Thinks back to when Kakureon shot a rainbow-colored beam at Utsugi’s chin and laughed at it mischieviously. In the present, he sweatdrops and closes his eyes, handing the ball back to Hiro.] “No, you should keep it. As a rookie trainer, you’ll need as much protection as you can get.” [Walks away and waves at Hiro.] “Good luck getting back home. See you later.”
Hiro: [Looks at Utsugi as he walks away.] “There’s something strange about that guy.” [Turns around and looks at the glass double door entrance to the building.] “Let’s go, Eievui.” [Walks towards the doors.]
Eievui: [Nods and follows Hiro.] “Bui!”
[The scene changes to inside the building. Hiro sits on a chair looking inside a small manual while Eievui looks up at him. On the page of the manual Hiro’s looking at is a picture of a Monster Ball with various writing around it.]
Hiro: [Pulls out Kakureon’s Monster Ball.] “So this button changes size?” [Presses the button on the front and the ball reduces to the size of a marble. He presses it again and the ball returns to its original size. Hiro stares wide-eyed.] “How does it do that?” [Looks in the manual again before looking at his ball again.] “Utsugi told me about that retrieval beam. But if I clamp the two halves together while the Pokemon’s inside, or apply pressure such as tossing it to the ground, I release the Pokemon. Some balls may be faulty and the Pokemon can release themselves at will. If I clamp the halves of an empty ball that isn’t currently assigned to hold a Pokemon, I can throw it at a wild Pokemon in order to contain it.” [Puts down the manual and stretches his arms.] “None of this seems that hard to understand.” [Accidentally lets go of Kakureon’s ball while he stretches. His pupils shrink.] “Eh?”
[Kakureon’s ball hits the floor, bouncing a couple times as Hiro and Eievui watched. Eventually, the ball opens up and releases a white energy that forms into a blue-striped Kakureon. Kakureon observes its surroundings.]
Hiro: “Crap!” [Grabs the ball and attempts to fire a retrieval beam from it.]
Kakureon: [Jumps up to avoid the beam.] “Kuron!” [Jumps sideways to avoid another beam. Breathes in deeply.]
Hiro: “Gi…. Hold still!” [Holds up the ball ready to fire another beam when he’s suddenly struck in the face by a rainbow-colored beam, dropping the Monster Ball.] “That huuuuuurts!!!”
[Kakureon stops firing the beam, leaving a dazed Hiro laying back in his chair. Kakureon turns to its left to see an enraged Eievui.]
Eievui: “Buiiii… bui!” [Jumps toward Kakureon.]
Kakureon: “Rerererere…!” [Lashes out a long tongue that wraps around Eievui’s abdomen.]
Eievui: [Looks at the tongue with wide eyes.] “Bui?”
Kakureon: “Roooooon!!!” [Twirls around and throws Eievui diagonally upward. Tongue returns back inside its mouth afterwards.]
Eievui: “Buiiiiiii!” [Flies at ceiling, then hits it and ricochets back onto the floor. Gets back up weakly.] “….bui….”
Kakureon: [Closes eyes, points at Eievui, and laughs while moving feet up and down.] “Hahahahaha!!” [Accidentally steps on Monster Ball. Widens eyes.] “Kuro?” [The button happened to be facing its other leg. A beam gets fired at it, converting Kakureon to a red energy.] “Kuroooooon!” [Gets contained in the ball once again.]
[Hiro gets out of his chair while holding his head, still in a bit of a daze. He sighs and picks up the ball. Upon doing so, he notices several people were spectating the incident, and a sweatdrop slides down his head in response to that.]
Hiro (narration): “And so, I took the test. I didn’t enjoy it, not one bit. However, some parts of the test managed to seem very easy. When I thought I’d forgotten something about Pokemon training, I suddenly remembered it.”
[Hiro’s shown sitting a desk writing on a sheet of paper as Eievui sits on Hiro’s lap and glances at it.]
Hiro (narration): “Certain parts were very difficult.”
[Hiro stands at one side of a flat, dirt surface ring with Eievui poised in front of him. On the other side is a man dressed in a white jumpsuit with a symbol resembling a Monster Ball on the chest, likely a Pokemon League representative. In front of him stands a Trancel.]
Hiro: [Points forward.] “Eievui, hit that thing!”
Eievui: “Buiiii!” [Charges toward the Trancel.]
League rep: [Crosses arms.] “Harden.”
[As Eievui runs toward it, the Trancel is surrounded by a white glow, which disappears and leaves its surface to appear shiny.]
Eievui: [Rams into Trancel, then tumbles backwards with swirls replacing his eyes and a large bump with an X-shaped bandage appearing on his forehead.] “….buiii…iiiii…..iiii….”
Hiro: [Steps back and clenches teeth.] “Gi…” [Stops clenching teeth and looks upward.] “uh…” [Looks back at the battlefield and shrugs.] “Try hitting it again!”
Eievui: [Swirls turn back to eyes, gets up, shakes head, loses head bump, and sneers.] “Buiii….” [Runs toward Trancel once more.]
League rep: “Thread Spit.”
****ancel shoots silk from a point between and below its eyes. The silk wraps around Eievui’s right foreleg, and due to Eievui’s running, all of his legs get entangled as well within a short amount of time.]
Eievui: [Falls forward and hits the ground, closing eyes.] “Bui!”
League rep: “Pokemon battling, like any competition, should involve strategy. The portion of this test is to show you can’t always defeat your opponent by being purely offensive.”
Hiro: [Clenches eyes shut.] “Dammit!” [Opens eyes and clenches teeth.] “How’s Eievui supposed to defeat this thing? If hitting doesn’t work, what else is he supposed to do? Wag his tail?”
Eievui: [Opens eyes.] “Bui?” [Raises tail and begins to wag it from side to side. At the same time, he begins to chew the silk off his legs.]
Hiro: [Sweatdrop slides down head and eyes turn beady.] “I wasn’t being serious….” [Widens eyes.] “Eh?”
****ancel looks at the tail, then closes its eyes happily. Its body spreads out slightly, as though its inner muscles are becoming less tense.]
Hiro: [Gapes mouth open.] “No way…” [Clenches fists and shouts.] “Now, Eievui!”
Eievui: [Tears the silk off his legs, then hops to his feet.] “Bui!” [Walks back a bit, then charges forward and slams into the relaxed Trancel, knocking it back to its trainer’s feet, unconscious.]
League rep: “You need to memorize technique names better. That aside…” [Takes out Monster Ball and returns Trancel into it.] “Well done.”
Hiro (narration): “However, in the end, I managed to do well enough to pass.”
[Hiro, with Eievui on his shoulder, stands before a counter. The woman at the computer handed Hiro a belt with five Monster Balls on it, a Pokegear, and a Pokemon Encyclopedia, the latter two Hiro holds up and inspects questionedly.]
Hiro: “What are these things?”
Woman: [Looks up from computer screen at Hiro.] “You don’t know? Well…” [Points at the Pokegear.] “That’s a Pokegear. It contains a digital map and can also be used as a cellular phone.”
Hiro: “Cellular phone?” [Closes eyes and smiles.] “Sweet! I’ve wanted one of those.”
Woman: [Closes eyes and smiles, but with a sweatdrop sliding down her head. She reaches over for the Pokemon Encyclopedia in Hiro’s hand.] “That is….” [Presses a button which causes a holographic screen to pop up, surprising Hiro and Eievui, who back their heads slightly.] “Your Pokemon Encyclopedia.”
Hiro: “So it gives me the data on Pokemon?” [Straps belt around waist.]
Woman: [Nods.] “It also contains your trainer ID, so don’t lose it.”
Hiro: “Understood.” [Puts the encyclopedia into a holder on the belt, then clips the back of the Pokegear onto the belt.]
Woman: [Puts a small booklet on the counter.] “Since you’re starting out, this should tell you how to work the Pokemon Encyclopedia.” [Lightly bows toward Hiro.] “Good luck.”
Hiro: “Thanks.” [Grabs the booklet and walks away.]
[At the edge of Wakaba Town, Hiro, now wearing a backpack, and Eievui stand before a long dirt road, with grass and random deciduous trees along the edge. Hiro pulls Kakureon’s Monster Ball from his pocket and slips it onto an empty holder on his belt. Hiro looks out at the wilderness with a look of determination on his face. In a matter of seconds, his determined look droops down to a worried frown.]
Hiro: “That car ride from Yoshino City seemed pretty long.” [Takes out his Pokegear, punches in a couple buttons. Looks at the screen, then after a moment, he falls backward onto the ground.]
Eievui: [Turns to Hiro worriedly.] “Bui bui!”
Hiro: [Stares at the Pokegear he holds above his head, eyes half-closed, one eye twitching.] “15 kilometers to Yoshino City, 20 more kilometers to Kikyou City.” [Gets up and dusts himself off.] “I have to walk so far to get back home.” [Drops head, blue vertical lines appearing over him.] “This sucks.”
Hiro (narration): “Thus, my journey had begun.”
-Are you left wondering what model of Pokemon Encyclopedias has a holographic screen? I take it you didn’t read Toshihiro Ono’s manga, “Pocket Monsters: Dengeki Pikachu” (or “Pokemon: The Electric Tale of Pikachu” in the States). Well, I’m using the spiffy model from that. As usual with my fics, I am not going to try describing what existing characters or objects look like, so you’ll have to either get the manga or look for scans.
12th March 2005, 3:28 AM
I thought the chapter was quite funny. Though the story is going pretty smooth. I think something should spice it up soon.
20th March 2005, 6:47 PM
Late again, so sorry. Anyway, this chapter didn’t occur in the old version, so all readers can expect something new here. BTW, I changed the distance from the previous chapter, so Yoshino City is only 10 kilometers away. I’d like to thank The Big Al, SilverBlaze09, and IceKing for helping me determine how long it’d take an average human to cover that distance.
CHAPTER 12: MISERABLE HIKE
[Hiro and Eievui stand outside Wakaba Town, vast grass fields and several trees spreading out before them. Hiro looks down at his Pokegear, then looks at a dirt road to his left.]
Hiro: “Hmm…. The road does look like it would be easy. However….” [Looks at the wilderness, then down at his Pokegear again.] “If I just go straight, I’ll get there quicker. Normally, I’d get lost doing that, but since I have this navigational device with me.” [Points finger out towards the wilderness.] “Alright! Let’s go that way!” [Walks forward.]
Eievui: [Nods.] “Bui.” [Walks forward with Hiro.]
Hiro: [Walks down a grassy hill while looking down. He groans.] “Geez, I’ve stayed away from the idea of training Pokemon my whole life because I never wanted to travel.” [Pictures his five sisters, grandfather, and Chris.] “Everyone kept saying ‘You should try it’ and ‘It should be fun’ to the point of annoyance. My desire to live peacefully in Enju City never caused me to give in to that.” [Stops at the base of the hill and lowers eyelids.] “But…. now…”
Eievui: [Stops to look at Hiro with a sad, compassionate face.] “buiiiii….?”
Hiro: [Clenches eyes shut, clenches fists, and sneers.] “che….” [Kicks at the grass.] “Dammit!”
Eievui: [Jumps back in surprise.] “BUI!”
Hiro: [Opens eyes and stomps forward.] “Why…? Why did all this happen? Why was I forced into this?” [Stops, looks back to see Eievui catching up to him. He sighs.] “It can’t be helped.” [Continues walking.] “All I can do is try to return as quickly as possible.”
[The scene changes to Hiro and Eievui lying against a tree at night. Hiro’s eating ramen from a wooden bowl, while Eievui eats some dry food pellets on the ground. All the while, a dieing fire with a pot above it sits in front of them.]
Hiro: [Slurps some noodles and swallows, then starts scooping up some more with his chopsticks.] “I have been taught how to start a fire without matches, but packing matches anyway makes things a lot easier.” [Slurps more noodles.] “I wonder if I need to feed that Kakureon.” [Puts down bowl and takes out Pokemon Encyclopedia, as well as the manual explaining how to use it. Flips through the manual’s pages.] “Let’s see…. general raising info.” [Stops at a page, then types in a few buttons on the device.]
Pokemon Encyclopedia: “Feeding Pokemon. If a Pokemon remains in its Monster Ball, it doesn’t require food very often due to the Monster Ball’s life-supporting features and could last several times longer than they’d require food outside the ball. However, being able to eat, as well as freely roam around, is enjoyable to the Pokemon.”
Hiro: “So it just makes them happy….?” [Thinks back to when his blue-striped Kakureon was firing its rainbow-colored beam at Hiro’s face in the trainer registration building. When the thought ends, his head bolts up with his eyes widened. Closes eyes and smiles while a sweatdrop slides down his head.] “It should be kept happy.”
Eievui: [Looks at Hiro in confusion.] “Bui?”
[Pulls out a Monster Ball and opens it, releasing a white light that forms into his blue-striped Kakureon.]
Kakureon: [Looks around.] “Re?”
Hiro: [Holds out a handful of dry food pellets.] “Look.”
[Kakureon looks up at Hiro, who’s standing while holding a bag of Pokemon food in his other arm, eyes closed and smiling all the while.]
Hiro: “This is very delicious. Have some.”
[Kakureon looks at the hand full of pellets, sniffs at it, then looks over at Hiro’s bowl of ramen. Hiro’s once again shown smiling towards it.]
Kakureon: [Stretches out tongue towards Hiro’s face.] “Reeee…!”
Hiro: [Opens eyes and stares at the tongue.] “Eh?”
[The end of Kakureon’s tongue proceeds to wag left and right, slapping Hiro in the face each time. After one last slap, Hiro falls backwards with swirling eyes and swollen cheeks, dropping the bag, as well as the food in his hand in the process.]
Eievui: [Widens eyes and runs over to Hiro’s side.] “Bui bui!”
Kakureon: [Reels tongue back into mouth, then points head toward Hiro’s bowl and stretches tongue out toward it.] “Reeee…!” [Wraps tongue around all the ramen and snaps it back into mouth. Chews and swallows. Smiles and pats hand on belly.] “On!”
Hiro: [Eyes widen in shock. Dashes over to his bowl, notices nothing remains in it, then closes eyes and lowers head while blue, vertical lines appear over his head.] “…damn…” [Holds up Monster Ball, points it behind him, and retrieves Kakureon in a red beam fired from it.] “I can’t satisfy that bas****, can I?”
[Eievui walks over, reaches out his front paw, and pats Hiro on the back. The scene changes to Hiro pouring dirt over the fire. He rolls out a sleeping bag, slips into it, and lays down with Eievui curling up on the ground next to his head.]
Hiro: [Sighs and looks up at the stars.] “According to the Pokegear, I got about halfway there. I wonder if I’ll reach civilization tomorrow.”
[Hiro’s shown laying sideways in his sleeping bag, eyes closed. The scene changes to show Hiro, awake and wearing his school uniform. He walks down the streets of Enju City’s commercial district when Chris, riding atop his Airmudo, flaps down and hovers a distance in front of Hiro.]
Chris: [Closes eyes, smiles, and waves.] “Yo, Hiro!”
Hiro: [Looks at him Chris with wide eyes.] “Chris-kun?”
Chris: “I plan to leave on a Pokemon training journey soon. Wish me luck.” [Winks and holds up a thumb before flying away.]
Hiro: [Sighs and lowers head.] “So many of my friends have left to train Pokemon. Things are really getting boring without them.”
Eievui’s voice: “Bui!”
Hiro: [Quickly lifts head.] “Huh?” [Turns around and notices an Eievui standing behind him.]
[Hiro’s about to walk towards it, but a drop of water falls on his head. He looks up, and tiny droplets of rain hit his face afterwards. The scene changes to show Hiro in his sleeping bag, eyes closed. A drop of water hits him on the cheek, and he slowly opens his eyes. A light rain starts to fall upon his face and the ground around him. "4099年4月20日 ( 月 )" (Monday, April 20, 4099) is displayed for a moment.]
Hiro: “No way!” [Quickly slips out of sleeping bag and rolls it up.]
[As Hiro packs the sleeping bag with the rest of his stuff, the rain slowly turns into a heavy downpour. Hiro slings the supplies over his back then turns his head in several directions.]
Hiro: “Eievui? Where are you?”
Eievui: [Muffled voice.] “…..buiiii bui…”
Hiro: [Widens eyes.] “Ah!” [Takes supplies off back, gets out sleeping bag, and unrolls it, Eievui tumbling out of it.] “Sorry, Eievui.”
Eievui: [Lays on the ground with swirls for eyes.] “Buiii…iiii…”
[Later, it’s still raining, and Hiro stares upward, eyes half closed and his left eyebrow twitching. A distant view reveals that he stands before a steep cliff wall.]
Hiro: [Looks down and clenches fist.] “S***, I should’ve just traveled along the road.” [Glances up at the cliff again.] “Hmm…” [Grabs a protruding rock in the wall and attempts to climb, but slips and falls off when he barely gets his feet off the ground. He gets back up and sighs.] “Eievui probably couldn’t climb anyway.” [Walks to the left, Eievui trailing behind. Both walk slowly due to the mud and heavy downpour.] “Let’s go around it.”
[The clouds are shown, still unleashing a heavy downpour. After a moment, the rain appears to die down. Back on the ground, Eievui shakes his fur coat dry. Ahead of Hiro and Eievui, the cliff merges to the side of a hill.]
Hiro: [Looks ahead.] “That’s…” [Runs toward the base of the hill and sees a dirt path which goes up the hill. Holds up a clenched fist and grins.] “Alright! We’re back on the main road!”
Eievui: [Closes eyes and jumps in celebration as well.] “Bui bui!” [Ears suddenly perk up.] “Bui?”
Hiro: [Stops for a moment, then turns to look at the road leading away from the base of the hill.] “Is that a vehicle?”
[After a moment, the sound of tires rolling along a dirt road grow louder.]
Hiro: [Lips slowly curl up in a smile, then picks a surprised Eievui off the ground. Jumps up and down in joyish laughter while holding Eievui against his chest.] “Lucky! Hahahaha!”
Eievui: [Swirls replace eyes as a result of Hiro’s jumping around.] “Buiiiiiii…!”
[Hiro stops jumping around and, while still holding Eievui with his right arm, holds out his left hand and points his thumb upwards in an attempt to hitchhike. However, a rock suddenly flies through the air and smacks Hiro in the back of the head.]
Eievui: [Looks up at Hiro’s face.] “Bui?”
[Hiro manages to let go of Eievui, but not soon enough that the Pokemon doesn’t get stuck under his body once he hits the ground. Hiro lies with his face in the mud, a small cloud of smoke rising from the back of his head, and Eievui struggles to get from underneath Hiro but to no avail. A large shadow looms over the two.]
Eievui: [Widens eyes.] “Bui?” [Slowly looks up, and the scene briefly shows a nearby tree.] “BUIIIIIII!!!”
[A view of where Hiro and Eievui were shows that they’ve now disappeared. A light green pickup truck carrying crates of produce passes by. Out in a forest clearing, an Oudile is seen carrying an unconscious Hiro over its shoulder, along with Hiro’s supplies, while holding Eievui up by the back of his neck.]
Eievui: [Flails around, attempting to bite and scratch at the hand that holds him.] “BUI BUI!!! IBUIII!!!! BUIIIII!!!”
[The Oudile gently places Hiro on the ground, then places his supplies next to him. It then looks at the enraged Eievui, smirks, and tosses it forward.]
Eievui: [Tumbles on the ground, then gets up and snarls.] “Buiiiii…!” [Dashes at the Oudile.]
[The Oudile begins to glow red as Eievui jumps up. As Eievui’s about to strike it, the Oudile disappears and the fox strikes his head against a tree, which he slowly slides down before rolling back on the ground with a huge bruise on his face. A red retrieval beam is seen going into a bush.]
Hiro: [Slowly moves his arms, groans, and gets up while rubbing the back of his head.] “What the hell happened?” [Opens eyes in realization.] “Ah! The vehicle!” [Jumps to his feet and looks around.] “The road! Where…?” [Snaps fingers.] “Dammit! How’d we end up here?”
Eievui: [Stumbles over to Hiro in a daze.] “…buiii…”
Hiro: [Looks at Eievui.] “Eh?” [Kneels down and looks at Eievui’s face.] “Are you alright?” [Eievui nods in reply and puts on a smile despite being in pain.] “I wonder where we are.”
[Hiro turns around to see an Itomaru looking at the two fiercely, poised as if ready to fight.]
Hiro: “What the hell’s your problem?”
Itomaru: [Walks towards Hiro and Eievui.] “Ito…!”
Hiro: “Go away!” [Kicks the Itomaru.]
[The Itomaru’s sent flying through the air and landing before a tree. Up in the canopy of this tree, several eyes glow in the dark.]
Itomaru: [Gets up, eyes water up, and tears begin to spray out from them.] “ITOUUU…OUUU…!”
[Immediately afterwards, several Ariados and Itomaru leap down from the tree’s canopy, landing in front of the Itomaru to face Hiro.]
Hiro: [Stares at the swarm with widened eyes and clenched teeth.] “Gi… gi…” [Slowly backs away.]
lone Ariados: “RIAAAA!!!” [Runs toward Hiro.]
other Ariados (simultaneously): “RIAAAA!!!” [Follow suit.]
other Itomaru (simultaneously): “ITOUUU!!!” [Follow suit.]
Hiro: [Turns around and runs.] “Run away!”
Eievui: [Follows Hiro.] “BUI!”
[Once all the Itomaru and Ariados are gone, all that remains is Hiro’s supply bag, which he left behind. Something quickly swoops in, grabs it, and jumps behind the bushes quick enough to only be made out as a blur. Afterwards, the sound of human sprinting can be heard. An overhead view of the forest is shown. The clouds from the rain earlier are clearing out, and the sun is beginning to set. Meanwhile, back inside the forest, Hiro and Eievui are frantically fleeing from the swarm of spiders chasing after them.]
Hiro: [Panting.] “Haa… Haa… how much longer are they pursuing us?” [Stops and rests his hand against a tree to catch his breath, Eievui stopping next to him. Looks back to see the swarm coming up to them.] “We need to think of some way to allude them. For now, though, let’s just keep out distance.”
[Hiro and Eievui prepare to run forward again, but one of the Ariados propels a strand of adhesive thread that sticks to Eievui’s leg and makes him trip.]
Hiro: [Turns around.] “Ah! Eievui!”
Eievui: ****ies to crawl forward, but the Ariados reeling in its strand seems to be much stronger.] “BUI BUI!!”
Hiro: “Damn!” ****ies to run toward Eievui, but two Ariados get in his way and begin to walk toward him. A bead of sweat slides down his cheek as he clenches his teeth.] “What do I do? Maybe… it’s risky, but…” [Pulls out a Monster Ball and releases Kakureon.]
Hiro: “Kakureon, fend off those Ariados and help save Eievui!”
[Kakureon looks over at Eievui’s plight, then turns to Hiro, looks at him for a moment, then proceeds to lash its tongue out at him. As the tongue goes towards his face, several thoughts race through Hiro’s mind. He first thinks about Utsugi-hakase.]
Utsugi: “You’re really close to that Eievui, aren’t you?”
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“Why do I protect Eievui? A person who doesn’t even have an interest in Pokemon, and a Pokemon I’ve only known for a few days, why?”)
[Thinks back to Eievui slamming into his teacher’s forehead.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“Was it really just because he stood up for me at that time… even if I got in trouble…?”)
[Thinks to that scene in his earlier dream where Chris flies away on Airmudo.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“Perhaps I was getting lonely.”)
[Pictures a little girl hugging a Purin with a red ribbon tied around its ear.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“Or just maybe, like everyone else, hidden deep down, I…”)
[Hiro immediately holds up his arm, causing the tongue to wrap around it, his hand grabbing the end of the tongue.]
Kakureon: [Eyes widen.] “Kaaa….!?”
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“Whatever the case…”) [Out loud.] “Eievui is my friend! I won’t let him get killed that easily!”
Kakureon: [Clenches fists in anger.] “Kureee…” [Breathes in and shoots out a rainbow beam that travel above its tongue towards Hiro’s face.]
[Hiro leans his head to the left, dodging the beam. Kakureon gapes as a bead of sweat slides down its face.]
Hiro: “…you bas****…” [Lifts up arm and swings Kakureon forward by its tongue.] “STOP SCREWING WITH ME AND DO SOMETHING HELPFUL!!!”
Kakureon: “Kakurouuuun!!!” [Being swung around by Hiro causes it to smack into the two Ariados sideways, knocking them out of Hiro’s path and allowing him to run up to Eievui, who’s still struggling against the Ariados pulling him in.]
Hiro: “Stop iiiiit!” [Swings Kakureon down to slam into the Ariados’s face.] “Kakureon, use your beam attack on that thread!”
Kakureon: [Still attached to Hiro’s arm through its tongue, and currently has swirls in its eyes from all the swinging around earlier.] “Rouuu….ouuun….”
Hiro: “Hey…” [Pats Kakureon’s cheek and lets go of the tip of its tongue.]
Kakureon: “Re!” [Eyes return to normal, unravels tongue from Hiro’s arm and conceals it in its mouth once again. It then follows Hiro’s command and shoots its beam at the thread stuck to Eievui’s leg, successfully breaking it.]
Eievui: [Gets up and smiles gleefully.] “Buii!”
Hiro: [Grins and clenches fist.] “Alright!”
[Hiro suddenly notices an Itomaru’s head needle glow purple and shoot a stream of small purple pins up at him. He quickly reacts by ducking, but doing so causes the pins to hit a sleeping Aipom on an overhead tree branch.]
Aipom: [Suddenly wakes up in a wild flail.] “Ukikkikkikki!!!” [Accidentally slaps a Monjara, who was also on the branch, in the face.]
Monjara: [X-shaped vein appears on its head and it wraps its vines around Aipom.] “Mouuun….!”
Aipom: [Waves hands in front of self while shaking head.] “Eipamu!” [Nods head down in Hiro’s direction.] “Uki!”
[Both Monjara and Aipom look down at Hiro, who’s now getting up from his earlier duck. The two Pokemon make angry faces at him.]
Monjara: “Mouuuuun!!” [Stretches out vines and grabs Hiro.]
Hiro: [Looks down at the vines in confusion.] “What the hell?!” [Is pulled up to the branch.]
Aipom: [Repeatedly slaps Hiro in the face with tail.] “Ukikkikkikkikki…!”
[Eievui and Kakureon look up at Hiro with sweatdrops sliding down their faces. They then look at the swarm surrounding them with their backs facing eachother. Then, a stream of fire shoots at Aipom, knocking it off the branch, and then another stream of fire hits Monjara, making it drop Hiro before falling off as well. The two Pokemon run away with burn marks all over their bodies. Hiro gets up with swollen cheeks, looking confused along with Eievui and Kakureon.]
[They, as well as the swarm, look over to see a Bakuphoon, roaring loudly as fire bursts out around its neck. It picks up one of the Ariados and throws it at another, knocking both unconscious.]
Bakuphoon: “Bakufuuu…” [Breathes out a stream of fire at several Itomaru and Ariados, steering clear of Hiro-tachi.]
Hiro: “Now, let’s go!”
[Hiro, Eievui, and Kakureon run away from the battle scene. After a bit of fleeing through the forest, they see an orange light above some bushes.]
Hiro: “That must be the forest’s exit!”
[The three jump over the bushes and see several tall buildings not too far in front of them.]
Hiro: [Eyes glisten as he smiles.] “That is… Yoshino… City…”
[With exaggerately large, cartoony eyes, they suddenly realize that there is no ground underneath them, due to the bushes, which they just leapt past, being next to a small ledge that leads into a river. They all fall into the water and splash around trying to swim against the current. A long vine reaches out from the ledge, wraps around all three of them, and pulls them out of the river. The vine holds them all in front of its owner, a Meganium, which has Hiro’s supplies on its back.]
Hiro: [Looks at the supplies.] “Are those mine?”
Meganium: “Meganiumu.” [It smiles at them, then jumps across the river while still holding them all. It then places them on the ground and releases its vine from them. Then uses its vine to grab the supplies and place it next to them. It then heads back toward the river.]
Hiro: [Straps the supplies on his back, then waves at the Meganium.] “Thanks a bunch!”
Meganium: [Turns around, closes eyes, and smiles.] “Niumu!” [Jumps across the river again and heads into the forest.]
Hiro: [Looks at Kakureon, who lays on the ground in exhaustion.] “Kakureon, thank you too.”
[Kakureon quickly sits up, blushes, then runs to Hiro, covering its face the whole way, to grab a Monster Ball off his belt and return itself into it.]
Hiro: “What was that?”
Eievui: “Bui.” [Shrugs shoulders.]
Hiro: “Let’s go, Eievui. Just a little further, and we can have a very comfortable rest for the night.”
[Hiro and Eievui proceed to walk toward the city. Back in the river, a Tattsuu peeks its head above the water a looks at them.]
20th March 2005, 8:36 PM
The forest scene was silghtly confusing with the barricade of Pokemon chasing them down. Also, it seems a little odd for the (rare) Pokemon to be in a forest. Other than that, it was handled well.
20th March 2005, 8:48 PM
Also, it seems a little odd for the (rare) Pokemon to be in a forest. Other than that, it was handled well.
um... read between the lines. BTW, thanks for nominating me in the oscars.
20th March 2005, 9:26 PM
BTW, thanks for nominating me in the oscars.
You're welcome. I don't like to suck up to people but you really have managed to create an interesting story using a dificult technique. Not to mention the notes at the end of the chapters give some interesting information.
The Big Al
21st March 2005, 1:09 AM
This reminds me of beginning of "Long Road to Glory" written by a guy on another site. Interesting enough, the main character also had an Eevee but he caught that one later in his journey.
22nd March 2005, 6:55 PM
This is awesome Im fan obsessed I was Imagining a battle with one of Hiros pokemon and a random Pokemon in some kind of tournament and it was so cool like anime style also this new chapter was very good with the script I picture everything so clearly you really are great.
PS. I wont post here any more coz I screwed everything up.
22nd March 2005, 7:41 PM
Silver Fusion, did you read what I was telling Kanto Trio earlier? No spoiler headings, please. BTW, I know I said you could look at the old version if anyone is that desperately spoiler hungry. However, it seems the old version's been deleted now, but just PM me if anyone wants to see it so badly.
22nd March 2005, 8:41 PM
Sorry its just I kinda search for the chapter name so I dont need to read every post in the thread sorry about that.
22nd March 2005, 11:27 PM
um.... think you could edit your post?
My sympathies toward any new readers who regret having had a HUGE part of the story ruined by that alluring black bar.
11th April 2005, 10:19 AM
I'm sorry for being so late again. Just a reminder to everyone, I have a few nominations in the PokeOscar Awardss right now, so please remember to vote. I've been nominated in the following categories:
Tamao as "Most Hilarious Human Character"
Eievui as "Best Overall Pokemon Character"
Kiryuu as "Best Antagonist Pokemon Character" (I only have one opponent in that category ^^)
this fic as "Best Adventure Fan-Fiction"
and myself as "Best Author of 2004-2005"
Good luck, I hope to get lots of votes from all of you.
-Kikyou City=Violet City
-Lightning Speed=Quick Attack
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
CHAPTER 13: FIRST CAPTURE
["4099年4月21日 ( 火 )" (Tuesday, April 21, 4099) is displayed as the sun slowly rises behind the group of buildings that make up Yoshino City. Inside a room with two bunk beds, one on each side, a random male trainer appears to be sleeping in one of the upper bunks, while Hiro, who wears nothing but his jeans and has slightly messy hair, is seen sitting up on the edge of the lower bunk across from the trainer, as he rubs his left eye. Next to Hiro’s pillow, Eievui slowly stretches his legs forward and yawns. The scene changes to the base of the stairs at a Pokemon Center. Walking down them, with their eyes appearing as slits to indicate they’re still waking up, are Eievui and Hiro, who’s now fully clothed and carrying his supplies on his back.]
Hiro: [Puts hand over mouth and yawns. Slowly opens eyes. Looks over at the video phones.] “I didn’t call my family again before leaving Wakaba Town, did I?” [Fully opens eyes. Lightly smacks the side of right fist down onto left palm.] “That’s right. They must be worried that I’m still not there after two days.”
[Hiro’s supplies are shown laying on the ground with a still-sleepy Eievui laying on top of them. Hiro sits in front of a video phone with a receiver held up to his head. The blank screen eventually changes to show Hiro’s grandfather.]
Grandpa: [Eyes widen and smiles.] “Ah, Hiro-kun. How’s your trainer’s journey?”
Hiro: “Hi Grand... eh?” [Mouth gapes open.] “Did you say trainer’s journey?”
Grandpa: “Utsugi-hakase contacted us and said you suddenly wanted to try and be a Pokemon trainer.”
Grandpa: [Closes eyes and grins.] “Hihi… it’s been my dream for someone in this family to become a trainer. Someone to bring home some interesting exotic Pokemon. I would’ve done it myself, but I’ve always had responsibilities here. So what kinds of Pokemon did you get so far?”
Hiro: [Drops head and sighs.] “Are my sisters there?”
Grandpa: “They left already. They all were excited to hear about this as well.”
Hiro: [Slowly raises head.] “That so…? Well, I have to go. So long.”
Grandpa: [Eyes widen.] “Wait! What about my questio…?”
[Hiro hangs up the receiver right as he was finishing his sentence, causing the screen to convert to a menu. Something that catches Hiro’s eye is “ウツギ研究所”.]
Hiro: “Utsugi’s lab is under the center’s speed-dial?”
[Hiro toggles around the menu until “ウツギ研究所” is highlighted. He picks up the receiver, presses enter, and after a moment, a female lab assistant appears on the screen.]
Hiro: [Smiles and closes eyes, speaking in a very polite tone.] “Hello. My name is Kimono Hiro. May I please speak to Utsugi-hakase?”
Assistant: “He doesn’t seem to be busy at the moment. Please wait.” [Gets out of seat and walks away.]
[Utsugi eventually shows up on the video monitor.]
Utsugi: [Waves his hand.] “Hiro-san! You feeling fine?”
Hiro: [An X-shaped vein begins to throb on the forehead above his face, which is still smiling. Opens eyes, which appear to lack pupils, and lowers eyebrows in anger. Flames appear behind him as he clenches his fist.] “YOU BAS****!!!”
[On the video screen, Utsugi clenches his eyes shut and holds the receiver away from him. The room appears to be shaking as Hiro yells into the receiver. This causes Eievui to jump up out of his tired state.]
Eievui: “BUIII!!!” [Flails legs and ends up tumbling backwards off the supply pack.]
Hiro: [Points finger at the monitor.] “What the hell do you think you’re doing telling my family I chose to be a trainer?”
Utsugi: [Opens eyes and brings the receiver towards his face.] “Um… I’m a busy man who can’t be bothered with personal matters. If you called because you wish to transfer a Pokemon for storage, do so. Otherwise, please hang up.”
Hiro: [Turns red and closes eyes, right brow twitching. Grits teeth but forces a half-grin.] “Yes, I want to transfer a Pokemon.” [Takes a Monster Ball off his belt.]
Utsugi: “The notch on the left side of the monitor.”
[Hiro increases the Monster Ball’s size and puts it into the notch. White electricity surges around it before it glows white and disappears. Hiro hangs up the receiver afterwards. Hiro sighs, closes his eyes, regains a more calm complexion, and the flames behind him disappear, revealing several people in the Pokemon Center staring at him wide-eyed.]
Hiro: [Picks up supplies, slings them over one arm, and walks away with free hand in pocket.] “Geez, now my family thinks I’m interested in this sort of thing. This sucks.”
Eievui: “Bui…” [Rolls onto his feet, gets up, and dashes until he’s by Hiro’s side. He walks with Hiro afterwards.]
[In Utsugi’s laboratory, a Monster Ball materializes in the notch on the side of the video phone he was using.]
Utsugi: [Grabs Monster Ball and looks down at it.] “I wonder what kind of Pokemon Hiro got so far…” [Widens eyes and pictures a Kakureon with a blue stripe. Left eye starts to twitch with small, blue, horizontal lines appearing under it.] “Did he even acquire new Pokemon since he left?” [Holds Monster Ball for a moment, then slowly squeezes the two halves together.]
[The outside of the lab is shown. The sound of a Monster Ball opening can be heard, followed by Utsugi screaming.]
[The scene changes to show a young adult woman fishing on the end of a pier. She’s wearing a rugged straw hat, a tied plaid blouse, jeans cut-off at her thighs, and white rubber sandals. Her hair is lilac in coloring, straight, the sides are slung in front of her shoulders, tied in bundles with yellow bands, and extending just a little below her arm pits, while the back is cut off above the shoulders. Her eyes aren’t visible due to the shadow cast on her face by the front of her hat. Behind her, Hiro lays against a tree next to the river, looking at his Pokegear, his supply pack on the ground in front of him. Eievui sips water from the river. Not too far in the distance are buildings, indicating his is a park in the middle of Yoshino City.]
Hiro: [Sighs.] “13 kilometers to Kikyou City. That’s a little longer than last time, but…” [Leans forward and looks inside supply pack.] “The supplies I have now are enough to not need restocking.” [Slips Pokegear onto belt and gets up. Turns head toward Eievui.] “Let’s go, Eievui!”
Eievui: [Lifts head up from drinking, turns around, and nods.] “Bui.” [Starts walking toward Hiro.]
[A fishing pole is shown being cast, then Hiro, who was ready to grab his supplies, gets hit in the back of the head by a red and white floater with a green, tear-shaped fishing lure attached to it.]
Hiro: [Clenches teeth and large stars momentarily replace eyes.] “Ow!” [Floater bounces off head and the hook snags his left sleeve. Rubs back of head.] “What was tha…?” [Notices hook stuck on sleeve. Eyes widen.] “Eh?”
[The hook tugs Hiro’s sleeve, then pulls him to the ground before dragging him.]
Hiro: [Swirls replace eyes.] “Uwaaaaa!!!”
Eievui: [Eyes widen in shock. Chases after Hiro.] “Bui Bui!”
Hiro: “Uwaaaaa!!!” [Stops being dragged.] “…ugh…” [Eyes revert to normal, though half-closed. Right arm reaches up to the end of his left sleeve and starts feeling around for the lure.]
Voice: “You’re a rookie trainer, right?”
Hiro: “Eh?” [Eyes widen. Looks upwards.]
[Footsteps approach, then the woman that was fishing on the pier earlier appears from upside-down. Her eyes are now visible and appear to have a garnet red coloring. At a different angle, it’s shown that she’s leaning over Hiro’s head, indicating that was his viewpoint earlier.]
Eievui: [Snarls at the girl. Fur rises.] “Buiiii…!”
Hiro: [Sits up and turns around to face the girl.] “Bi***! What the hell did you do that for?” [Unhinges hook from sleeve.]
Fisher Woman: [Holds hat against torso, closes eyes, and mouth goes into a zigzag.] “Sorry. I suck at casting.” [Mouth returns to normal, opens eyes, and slightly leans forward.] “You’re a pretty short-tempered trainer, aren’t you?”
Hiro: [Snuffs and turns head away.] “I’m not a trainer.” [Gets up and dusts off clothes.]
Fisher Woman: “Really? Then what’s that?” [Points to the trainer’s belt around Hiro’s waist.]
Hiro: [Walks away with Eievui by his side.] “I’m delivering it to someone.”
[The woman sighs, puts her hat back on, then casts the pole again and starts to reel in.]
[Hiro, who has the lure stuck on the back of his shirt and is holding the front of collar to help loosen it, is pulled towards her, skidding on the heels of his shoes.]
Fisher Woman: “Don’t deny it, you are a trainer!”
Hiro: [Unhinges lure from the back of his shirt and tosses it to the ground.] “It’s not like I wanted to.”
Fisher Woman: “I’ve seen tons of people like you.” [Closes eyes and puts hands to hips.] “’The pride of our family depends on it’ or something else making them feel obligated.”
Hiro: [Sweatdrop slides down back of head.] “It wasn’t like that.”
Fisher Woman: [Opens eyes and points at Hiro.] “Do people like you even try, or do you all automatically assume you won’t like it?” [Crosses arms.] “You probably never even made any of your own captures.”
Hiro: “Let’s go, Eievui.” [Turns around and proceeds to walk.]
Fisher Woman: “Wait! Do you think you’ll last long in the wild with just your Eievui?”
[Hiro stops. He then pictures an Ariados tying Eievui’s back leg with a strand of silk.]
Fisher Woman: “You feel that you’re being forced into this, but can’t you try to find some enjoyment in this?”
Hiro: “My reason for not wanting to be a trainer… enjoyability has nothing to do with it.”
Fisher Woman: [Looks at Hiro with a puzzled face.] “Huh? Whatever… here!” [Holds fishing pole outwards toward Hiro.]
Hiro: [Looks at pole.] “Um…”
Fisher Woman: “You don’t have any other Pokemon of your own, so you should probably learn to capture wild specimens. A water-type might be a good way to start you off.”
Hiro: [Closes eyes and waves hands.] “But I already have Eievui, a Kakureon too.”
Fisher Woman: “That’s not enough.” [Shoves pole into Hiro’s arms. Then walks past him.] “Once you get a Pokemon on your line, you might need to battle and weaken it in order to contain it. Look through your Pokemon Encyclopedia to see what techniques your Pokemon can use.”
Hiro: [Looks at pole, then back at the woman.] “Um… I understand.” [Looks down at Eievui.] “Eievui, get ready.”
Eievui: “Bui!” [Nods.]
[Scene changes to show the floater in water. Hiro stands on the river bank, Eievui standing next to him poised to attack. The woman sits in the shade of the tree Hiro was sitting in earlier. Hiro holds the pole in one hand and browses through his Pokemon Encyclopedia in another, which displays the following…]
[Picture of an Eievui] イーブイの技
Fisher Woman: “You want to live life peacefully?”
Hiro: [Turns head toward her and nods.] “Yeah.”
Fisher Woman: [Looks at Hiro, then lays head against tree, looking upward.] “Sounds like my cousin. She anxiously awaits the day she finds someone to settle with.” [Closes eyes, puts hand to together, and rubs cheek against them.] “’My courageous knight will rescue me from an unexpected danger’ she says.”
Hiro: [Giggles.] “Your cousin is expecting a fairy tale will come true in her life, isn’t she?”
Fisher Woman: [Opens eyes and leans head against knee.] “I can respect simple dreams, but with such a large world out there, doesn’t everyone feel like seeing it?”
Hiro: “Like a sense of adventure? I’m sure everyone feels that deep down, but in reality, many are too scared to actually do it. Thus, they reduce their adventures to imaginative things such as reading or playing a game.”
Fisher Woman: “That’s true…” [Raises head.] “But if you’re already on the adventure, what more is there to be scared of?”
[Floater suddenly bobs underwater.]
Hiro: “Eh?” [Looks at where the floater was and notices the line unreeling itself.] “I got something!” [Puts Pokemon Encyclopedia away, then uses that hand to grab the reel, which he starts to turn.]
Eievui: [Watches the water, remaining poised to attack.] “…buiii…”
[The line starts to bend downward as Hiro continues to reel in. Eventually, Hiro yanks the pole, causing the thing that bit the end, a Tattsuu, to go flying through the air and landing sideways on the ground behind him.]
Tattsuu: [Spits out lure, then hops up to stand on its curled tail.] “Tattsuu!”
Eievui: “Bui!” [Jumps in front of Tattsuu and stares into its face.]
Fisher Woman: [Smiles and points at Tattsuu.] “Oh, you’re lucky. Those grow to be pretty powerful…” [Holds up a fist.] “Come on, battle it.”
Hiro: [Is now facing away from the river and looking towards Eievui and Tattsuu.] “I got it…” [Points forward.] “Eievui, use Tackle!”
Eievui: “Buiiii….!!!” [Runs forward, ready to ram into Tattsuu.]
Tattsuu: “Ta…” [Jumps up, dodging Eievui’s Tackle.]
Eievui: “Bui?” [Skids for a moment, then turns around.]
Tattsuu: “Tsuuu…!!!!” [Still airborne, it fires a stream of foam at Eievui.]
Eievui: [Sneers under the blast of foam.] “Buiiii…” [Once the foam subsides, he tries to run, but seems to be going slow.] “Bui?” [Looks back and sees excess amounts of foam sticking to his body, and also notices he’s kind of wading through some of the foam on the ground.]
Hiro: [Stares with widened eyes.] “What kind of technique was that?”
Fisher Woman: “The Bubble attack. It’s very weak, but the bubbles make up a slightly gelatinous substance that slows the victim down.” [Closes eyes, smiles, and waves hand up and down.] “Don’t worry, your Eievui should have a technique that eliminates such a problem. You do remember those techniques you looked up, right?”
Hiro: “Hmm…” [Puts hand to chin and looks upward. Recalls looking through his Pokemon Encyclopedia and seeing “電光石火”. Eyes widen.] “That’s it.”
Tattsuu: “Tsuu…!” [Inhales, then spits out a small squirt of water towards Eievui.]
Hiro: [Takes hand off chin.] “Eievui…!” [Points forward.] “Lightning Speed!”
Eievui: “buiiii…” [Exudes a white aura, then jumps to his right at a speed fast enough to both leave behind a white streak and get all the foam to fly off his body. Tattsuu’s squirt of water hits the remaining foam on the ground just as Eievui jumps out of it.]
Tattsuu: [Eyes widen.] “Ta…?” [Looks to the left.]
Eievui: [Lands on the ground.] “Bui…” [Jumps at Tattsuu, a white streak still trailing him.]
Tattsuu: [Gets slammed by Eievui and goes flying backwards.] “TSUUUUU…!!!”
[Tattsuu ends up hitting the fisher woman in the head as she was blowing another bubblegum bubble. She falls backwards with her hat flying off and landing upside-down next to her. Tattsuu, meanwhile, bounces onto the ground with swirls in its eyes, and a blue wad of bubblegum stuck to its back fin.]
Hiro: [Gasps and runs forward.] “Ah… sorry, are you alright?”
Fisher Woman: [Gets up rubbing head.] “I’m alright. Hurry up and get that Tattsuu.”
Hiro: “Yes.” [Grabs a Monster Ball off his belt, enlarges it, and tosses it at the unconscious Tattsuu.]
[The Monster Ball hits Tattsuu, opens up, and unleashes a beam of red energy that surrounds Tattsuu. Tattsuu eventually dissolves to this red energy and goes inside the ball, which closes afterwards.]
Hiro: [Walks towards the ball.] “So I got it contained now?”
Fisher Woman: “Wait until it stops wobbling.”
Hiro: “Wobbling?” [Looks at the ball and notices it doing so.]
Fisher Woman: “If a Pokemon’s still strong enough, it could burst out of that thing before it’s completely contained. Do you understand?”
Hiro: [Nods head.] “Yeah.”
[The ball wobbles a few more times, then stops. Hiro looks toward the woman, who nods at him before he picks up the ball.]
Fisher Woman: [Closes eyes and smiles while standing up.] “Congratulations, you got your first Pokemon.”
Hiro: [Widens eyes and looks toward the woman.] “My first? How’d you know I didn’t get Kakureon or Eievui this way?”
Fisher Woman: “Eh?” [Eyes widen and mouth gapes open. Closes eyes and smiles again.] “Um… I could assume from the way you were talking earlier.” [Puts hand to back of head. Eyes widen, feels around her head a bit, then looks down to notice her hat’s upside-down on the ground. She quickly bends down and immediately flips the hat over, looks at Hiro and sees he wasn’t paying attention, then places the hat back on her head.]
[Hiro looks at the Monster Ball in his hand, Eievui looking up at it too. He tosses the Monster Ball into the air, where it opens and releases a white stream of energy that materializes into Tattsuu.]
Eievui: “Bui.” [Walks up to Tattsuu. Closes eyes, smiles and waves his paw at Tattsuu.] “Bui!”
Tattsuu: [Closes eyes in glee.] “Tsuu!”
Fisher Woman: [Eyes widen.] “Huh…. hey…” [Points at Tattsuu’s fin.] “Isn’t that my gum?”
Tattsuu: “Ta?” [Looks back at its fin and notices the wad of gum.]
Eievui: [Pulls the gum off Tattsuu’s fin with his teeth and walks towards the woman with it. Speaks in a muffled voice.] “bui…”
[The Fisher Woman looks at the gum in Eievui’s mouth. Closes eyes, sweatdrop slides down her head, and waves her hand from side to side. Eievui and Tattsuu look at eachother, then Eievui drops the gum on the ground.]
Hiro: [Looks at Eievui and Tattsuu with a puzzled look. He thinks.] (“They were fighting just a moment ago… how can they become friends so easily?”)
Distant Voice: “HELP MEEE!!!”
[Everyone looks over in the direction where the voice came from.]
Fisher Woman: [Runs over to Hiro and grabs his hand.] “Come on, let’s see what that was!”
Hiro: “Hey, wait!”
[The woman runs towards a group of buildings in the distance, pulling Hiro by his hand. Eievui runs alongside them, and Tattsuu hops on its curled tail.]
-for those who are very knowledgeable in Japanese, please don’t point out that the techniques are written out in kanji instead of hiragana. The games were intended for a younger demographic to be able to play them, thus these techniques, which use words that could clearly convert into kanji, were toned down to hiragana to be understood easily.
18th April 2005, 4:44 AM
Yay, I wasn’t late this time. Once again, please remember to vote for me in the PokeOscars.
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
CHAPTER 14: A TRAINER’S ORDEAL
[In Yoshino City’s park, the fisher woman runs towards a group of buildings in the distance, pulling Hiro by his hand. Eievui runs alongside them, and Tattsuu as well, who hops on its curled tail as its means of transporting itself.]
Hiro: “What the hell are you doing?”
Fisher Woman: [Looks back at Hiro.] “Didn’t you hear that cry earlier? Don’t you want to help out?”
Hiro: “Wait a second!” [Yanks hand away from the fisher woman. Everyone stops and looks at him.] “Not to say I don’t want to help, but what do you expect we’re supposed to do from way over here? That cry came over from the busy streets of this city.” [Closes eyes and crosses arms.] “Someone else likely helped him already.”
Voice: “HELP ME!!!”
Hiro: “Eh?” [Eyes open wide. Turns head toward direction of voice.]
[In that direction is a little boy, about five years old, short black hair, white T-shirt, tan shorts, and sandals, running towards Hiro-tachi. Chasing behind him is an enraged Merriep.]
Merriep: [In a bleating voice.] “Meriiiiiiipu!!!” [Discharges electricity towards the boy.]
Boy: “WAH!” [Jumps forward to dodge the electricity, causing it to hit the ground harmlessly. Lands and continues running.] “HELP ME!”
[Hiro, the fisher woman, Eievui, and Tattsuu all jump out of the way as the boy and Merriep charges toward them. Afterwards, they all look towards the running pair.]
Fisher Woman: “We can do something. Look.” [Points at the boy and Merriep.] “You could contain that wild Pokemon in a Monster Ball.”
Hiro: [Turns head toward fisher woman and points at self.] “Me? Why can’t you do anything?”
Fisher Woman: [Closes, grins, and rubs back of head.] “Hehe…. uh… I forgot my Pokemon.”
Hiro: [Sweatdrop slides down head.] “Why the hell were you fishing for water-types?”
Fisher Woman: [Rubs back of head more.] “I wasn’t. I was trying to catch a fish for lunch.”
Boy: “WAAAAH!!!” ****ips and falls onto the ground. Looks back at the Merriep towering over him.]
Merriep: [Glares at boy as small sparks fly off its wool.] “Meriiiiiii…..”
[The boy, paralyzed with fear, only manages to make very shrill wails as opposed to screaming. He closes his eyes and clenches his teeth together.]
Hiro: [Turns away from the fisher woman and looks toward the Merriep and boy.] “Damn, no time for this…” [Looks down at Eievui.] “Hurry, Eievui! Lightning Speed!”
Eievui: “Bui!” [Dashes forward at high speed, a white streak trailing him.]
Merriep: “Meri…” [Steps towards the boy.]
Eievui: “BUIIIIII!!!” [Rams into Merriep’s side, causing it to skid sideways from its former point.]
[The boy looks at the Eievui for a moment as he gets up.]
Hiro: “Hurry! Get out of here!” [Holds up hand from his side.]
Boy: “Yeah.” [Nods and runs away.]
Merriep: [Gets up, shakes head, and looks at Eievui. Puts on an evil grin.] “Meriiiiipu.”
Eievui: [Looks back at Merriep.] “Buiiii…” [A spark suddenly emerges from his body. Eyes widen.] “BUI!” [Closes eyes and cringes.] “buiiii….”
Hiro: [Stares at Eievui.] “Eh? What’s wrong Eievui?”
Fisher Woman: “It’s paralyzed.”
Hiro: [Looks back at fisher woman.] “What?”
Fisher Woman: “With some Electric-type Pokemon, such as that Merriep, it’s not a good idea to come in physical contact with them.”
Hiro: [Looks down.] “Damn.” [Looks over at Eievui again, who’s now laying on his side.] “Eievui can’t do much now…” [Looks down at Tattsuu.] “And I can’t use Tattsuu.”
Fisher Woman: “Why not?”
Hiro: [Turns to fisher woman.] “Tattsuu’s moist body and water-based attacks would be an easy target for electricity, right?”
Fisher Woman: [Crosses arms and lowers head.] “You don’t know much about Pokemon, yet you were able to spot out a weakness like that.” [Raises head and smirks.] “You’re pretty observant. You show potential.”
Hiro: [Looks down.] “Um… that’s….” [Turns toward Eievui again, facing away from the fisher woman.] “It’s not hard to figure out.”
[The fisher woman’s smirk creeps further across her face. Hiro watches as Merriep slowly walks up to the paralyzed Eievui.]
Hiro: [Thinking.] (“What do I do?”)
Merriep: [Raises head and shouts.] “MERIIIIIIIIPU!!!!” [Unleashes a surge of electricity at Eievui.]
Eievui: [Gets struck by electricity and cries out in pain.] “BUIIIIIIII!!!”
Hiro: [Cringes.] “Gi…”
Fisher Woman: “Didn’t you say you have a Kakureon?”
Hiro: “It’s not with me right now…”
Hiro: “Dammit!” [Runs forward.]
Fisher Woman: [Gapes as she watches Hiro advancing. Holds hand out towards him.] “Wait! What are you doing?”
[Hiro grabs Eievui and tosses him aside, putting himself in Merriep’s surge of electricity.]
Eievui: [Slams against the ground, eyes closed, steam rising from his body. He pants hard.] “…haaa….haaa….haaa….” [Opens eyes, then slowly raises head and looks at Hiro getting electrocuted.] “….bui?”
Tattsuu: [Looks at Hiro with wide eyes.] “Tsuu?”
Merriep: [Stops surging electricity and backs away.] “Meri?” [Looks over at where Eievui was thrown, then back at Hiro.]
Hiro: [Drops to knees and pants.] “Haaa…..haaaa…..”
Fisher Woman: “You idiot! What did you do that for?”
Hiro: “I was the one who ordered Eievui to get Merriep away from that kid… he shouldn’t suffer when things started to look hopeless.”
Merriep: [Looks at Hiro, mouth gaping.] “…meriii…”
Hiro: [Pants a few more times and looks up at Merriep.] “I don’t know what your problem is, but…” ****ies to struggle up to his feet until sparks shoot out of his legs, forcing him to crouch down again.] “Please, harm me instead of my friend.”
[Merriep’s and Eievui’s eyes widen. The fisher woman stares at Hiro until she hears a voice.]
Tattsuu’s voice: “….ta…”
Fisher Woman: “Eh?” [Looks down to see Hiro’s Tattsuu, shuddering and squeezing its eyes shut, tear droplets forming from them.] “Tattsuu?”
Tattsuu: [Turns head towards Hiro and Merriep, slowly opening eyes.] “TSUUUUU!!!!” [Jumps forward, tears flying away from its eyes.]
Merriep: “Meriipu?” [Notices Tattsuu hopping towards it. Snarls.] “Meriiiiiipu!” [Walks around Hiro and looks at the approaching Tattsuu. Sparks begin to surge around its body.]
Hiro: [Looks over at Merriep and gasps.] “Stop it, Merriep!”
[Merriep shoots an electrical surge towards Tattsuu. However, Tattsuu uncurls its tail, propelling it high into the air and avoiding the attack.]
Merriep: [Looks upwards.] “Meriii?” [Electricity surges around its body again.]
Tattsuu: “TSUUUU!!!!” [Shoots a large stream of foam from its mouth.]
Merriep: [Ends up being completely covered in foam. Unleashes electricity, but instead of surging out towards Tattsuu, it ends up surging all around the cocoon of foam it’s in. It screams out in pain.] “MERIIIIIIIIIIIPU!!!!”
Hiro: [The yellow light of Merriep shocking itself glows onto his face. Eyes widen and mouth gapes open.] “…sweet…”
[The electrical surge ends, and Merriep falls sideways out of the foam. Tattsuu lands on the ground in front of it.]
Merriep: [Body steams. Clenches eyes shut and groans.] “…meriiii….”
Fisher Woman: [Also widens eyes and gapes mouth open. Shouts out to Hiro.] “Come on, hurry! If you don’t encase it in a Monster Ball before it recovers, it could run away and continue causing problems!”
Hiro: “Got it!” [Cringes as he slowly moves his arm, which has small sparks flying from it, over to his trainer’s belt. Grabs a Monster Ball off the belt, enlarges it, and lightly tosses it towards the Merriep close by.]
[The ball hits Merriep, opens up, and releases a beam of red energy that dissolves Merriep’s form into the same energy. The energy goes inside the ball before it closes and drops to the ground. It wobbles a few times before stopping. Hiro sighs in relief afterwards.]
Eievui’s voice: “…bui…”
[Hiro looks over to see Eievui stumbling over towards him. He no longer has sparks erupting from his body, and he gazes at Hiro with a pair of glistening, watery eyes.]
Eievui: “…bui…iii…iii….” [Closes eyes and proceeds to run towards Hiro, sobbing.] “BUIIII-IIII-IIII….!” [Jumps into Hiro’s chest and continues sobbing.] “Bui-iiii….. buiiii….!”
Hiro: [Looks down at Eievui.] “Sorry, Eievui.” [Slowly lifts up arms. A couple small sparks still manage to appear, but he shakes them off and caresses the back of Eievui’s head.]
Tattsuu: “Tsuu!” [Hops over next to Hiro and looks up at him.] “Tattsuu?”
Hiro: [Looks over at Tattsuu. Closes eyes and grins.] “Tattsuu, thank you.”
Tattsuu: [Closes eyes and jumps up and down in glee.] “Tattsuu tsuu!!”
[The sound of footsteps approaching can be heard. Hiro opens his eyes and looks up, only to have the handle end of a fishing pole slammed in his face. The impact causes him to fall over backwards. Eievui stands on Hiro’s chest and looks upwards in shock, Tattsuu likewise. Eievui jumps off when Hiro sits up, rubbing his head.]
Fisher Woman’s voice: “You idiot!”
[Hiro stops rubbing his head and looks up. It’s shown that the fisher woman was the one who struck him.]
Fisher Woman: [Hand that isn’t holding fishing pole clenches into a quivering fist at her side.] “Eievui was already paralyzed. All you succeeded in doing was getting yourself paralyzed as well. I was unable to do anything, so if your Tattsuu wasn’t there to help out, both you and Eievui…” [Fist stops quivering, then it unclenches.] “In this situation, you both could’ve been severely injured at worst. But, when you’re out in the wild, far away from civilization, it’s extremely important not to be so careless.”
Hiro: [Looks at the fisher woman for a moment, then sighs and looks down.] “That so?” [Stumbles to his feet. Looks over to where Merriep’s Monster Ball was and notices it’s missing.]
Fisher Woman: [Walks up to Hiro, grabs his hand, and puts the Monster Ball in his palm.] “Foolishness…. I guess there is something to fear.” [Lets go of Hiro’s hand.] “Perhaps thinking there’s nothing to fear is foolishness itself. Maybe foolishness is just fear of doing what’s correct.” [Turns around and walks away a bit, then stops.] “You really want to get back home and put an end to this, don’t you?”
Hiro: “Are you saying it’d be correct for me to be a trainer?”
Fisher Woman: “No. It would be correct if you just tried. I was impressed with your observation earlier. However, your Tattsuu just showed that you could have strategized with what you had, whether it appeared a bad choice or not. Instead of using your resources to their fullest potential, you just blindly rushed in thinking you could defend Eievui.” [Walks away again.] “Pokemon training and battles require a lot of thought. Keep that in mind, and maybe over time, you’ll come to truly enjoy it.”
Hiro: [Watches as the woman walks away. Shouts out.] “Hey, wait!” [She doesn’t stop. He sighs and looks down at Merriep’s Monster Ball.] “We forgot to introduce ourselves.”
[The scene changes to show the fisher girl in a crowd of people walking through Yoshino City. She slips out of the crowd and walks down into a deserted alleyway. After rounding a corner in the alley, she stops, leans her fishing pole against a wall, and takes off her hat and observes it. Inside the center, attached to the rim, are six Monster Balls. She holds the hat down to her side and pulls a cell phone out of her pocket. She dials in a few numbers and puts it up to her head. After a few rings are heard, they stop.]
Fisher Woman: “Hello, this is Fujisaki.”
[Outside the Pokemon Center, Hiro and Eievui walk out to be greeted by the boy that Hiro rescued earlier, as well as a girl about Hiro’s age, with a blonde ponytail, green blouse, gray skirt, and sneakers.]
Girl: “My little brother told me you saved him from that Merriep earlier.” [Bows down, along with the boy.] “Thank you so much.”
Hiro: [Looks at the pair as they raise from their bow. Closes eyes and smiles.] “Don’t mention it.”
Boy: [Tugs on his sister’s skirt and looks up at her.] “Hey, Sister, didn’t you say you wanted to give him something to show your appreciation?”
Girl: “Oh, that’s right.” [Puts hands at both sides of her blouse and slowly starts to lift it up.]
Hiro: [Widens eyes, clenches teeth, and backs way. Blushes while a small drop of blood leaks out of his nose.] “Wh… wh… what are you doing?”
Eievui: [Looks up at Hiro confused.] “Bui?”
Girl: [Stares at Hiro.] “Huh?” [Blinks a couple times.] “Don’t you want to have a battle?”
Hiro: “Eh?” [Looks down to see the girl was only lifting her blouse up slightly to uncover her trainer’s belt underneath.]
Boy: [Glares at Hiro.] “Sister says it’s very rude to refuse a battle.”
Girl: “I didn’t know what my brother was up to at that moment. I would like a chance to fight this Merriep.” [Leans toward Hiro and looks at him with glistening eyes.] “You wouldn’t turn me down, would you?”
Hiro: [Closes eyes and forces a smile.] “Oh… no, I wouldn’t turn down a battle, hahahaha…” [Sweatdrop slides down head. Wipes blood away from nose.]
[The scene changes to show a Beedle shooting a stream of purple pins from the tip of the horn on its head at Tattsuu.]
[The scene changes again to show an Arbo slamming Eievui down with its tail.]
[The scene changes once again to show a Chicorita throwing several jagged leaves from its head at Merriep.]
[Now all three of Hiro’s Pokemon are shown in a pile together with X’s in all of their eyes. Hiro stares at his Pokemon with his mouth gaped open. The brother and sister pair, along with the Beedle, Arbo, and Chicorita, stare at Hiro and his Pokemon with half-closed, beady eyes and sweatdrops sliding down their heads.]
Girl: “You were afraid of that Merriep?”
Boy: “This guy really sucks.”
Hiro: [Puts hand to forehead.] “This is so humiliating…” [Hand still on forehead, sits down on the ground before his fallen Pokemon and sighs.] “I’m not interested in raising Pokemon, but this loss is pathetic…” [Pictures the fisher woman.] “Maybe I should consider coming up with better strategies, at least so this doesn’t happen again before I get back.”
[Hiro falls backwards and looks up at the sky.]
20th April 2005, 4:26 AM
I'm sorry that I reveiw your last chapter, I missed it. But this fic really is good. I do realize how it sucks to lose to a easy looking oppenent like that. But will Fujisaki play a main role?
The Big Al
20th April 2005, 9:11 PM
Maybe if Hiro actually paid attention in his Pocket Monster training classes, he would have done better. He better watch it, I assume some trainers and wild Pocket Monsters aren't as friendly as the anime would let you believe.
The story is still top notch, keep up the good work.
24th April 2005, 11:46 PM
Only a week and a half left to vote for the PokeOscars, and I managed to get in some more Kiryuu showcasing. The fact that Kiryuu got only one user nominating him, while Lugia from Pokemon Origins: The Johto Saga got several kinda worries me, but god, I hope he wins. Yeah, I know I have other nominations, and I'd appreciate votes for them as well, but Kiryuu is my personal favorite, and the fact that he's only got one opponent makes it seem like more of a big deal.
Oh yeah, in case you didn't notice, I editted some Pokemon names in the last chapter, one of which carries on into this chapter. Chikorita is spelt as "Chicorita", while Mareep is spelt "Merriep".
-Mankey is pronounced with a short “a”
-Relationship Cave=Union Cave
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Relationship Cave=Tsunagari no Doukutsu
CHAPTER 15: THE ROAD TO KIKYOU CITY
[A Kimori stands in the middle of a tropical forest which has tall concrete walls behind the trees. The Kimori looks around his surroundings for a moment before a pair of Mankey leap towards it from opposite ends.]
Mankey (both simultaneously): “MANKIII!!!”
Mankey (both): “…ki!”
[One Mankey goes slamming into a tree, the other lands into a bush, both end up unconscious. The Kimori jumps back to its feet.]
[The Kimori looks upward to see an Onidrill descending down towards it. The bird starts doing quick aerial twirls as it does so, causing its body to appear like a drill. The Kimori opens its mouth and shoots a stream of green energy pellets at the spinning opponent. Onidrill wobbles a bit in its descent, and then the Kimori jumps up before it hits, causing it to skid along the ground, kicking up a large dust cloud in the process. When its stops skidding, its wings appear to have large bruises and some slight bleeding on them.]
Onidrill: [Closes eyes and cringes.] “…gyaaaasu….”
[The Kimori lands with its back facing the opening of a grove. The Kimori quickly turns around and punches a Granbull, which was charging towards it, in the face and slams it to the ground.]
[The Kimori kneels down and snaps its mouth onto Granbull’s hip.]
Granbull: “GURAAAAAAN!!!” [Screams in pain as a green aura appears around it and transfers into the Kimori’s body.]
[In a window high up in the concrete wall, a group of people dressed in black Rocket uniforms are looking at the Kimori’s performance. A man dressed up the same way (Male Rocket1) passes by and notices the others.]
Male Rocket1: [Walks over and peers down from the window.] “Hey, in the training facility…” [Looks at the others and points down toward the Kimori.] “Is that Kiryuu-senpai?”
Female Rocket1: [Nods.] “Yeah. Incredible, isn’t he?”
Female Rocket2: [Presses face against glass.] “I’ve heard rumors about this guy. He really is strong.”
[The Granbull lays on its side with a bleeding hip, panting heavily. The Kimori, Kiryuu, stands next to it, the last bit of green aura surrounding him and seeping into his body. He wipes some blood from his mouth.]
Male Rocket2: “I’ve heard rumors that if you try containing him within a Monster Ball, he’ll easily break out even if he was sleeping or injured.” [Looks down and shudders.] “And then you’ll get a nasty beating for making the attempt.”
[A Bakuong punches downwards at Kiryuu, who jumps backwards out of the way. The Bakuong continues advancing trying to land a hit, but Kiryuu rolls between the Bakuong’s legs, flips into the air, and kicks it in the back of the head, knocking it forward onto the ground.]
Male Rocket3: “He’s facing some pretty tough opponents in there.”
Female Rocket1: [Half closes eyes and waves hand up and down.] “These guys are nothing. I once saw him take out a Juptle and Jukain.”
Male Rocket3: [Looks at her with wide eyes.] “His evolved forms?”
Female Rocket2: “Cool!”
[The Bakuong gets up, turns around, and angrily stares at Kiryuu.]
[A faint sound of bush leaves moving is heard and Kiryuu briefly turns around. He sees a small bit of blue-gray and smirks.]
Bakuong: [Clenches fists and holds them out from its sides.] “KUOOOOOONGU!!!!” [Small orbs of yellow energy appear and start to cluster into one large orb in its mouth.]
[Kiryuu runs over to the bush and jumps into it. The Bakuong fires off a large beam of yellow energy that collides into the bush and disintegrates it. With it out of the way, it’s revealed that a Nosepass is in the way of the beam.]
[Kiryuu is behind the Nosepass, struggling to push it forward and keep it from falling backwards by the force of the beam. Once the beam recedes, the Nosepass is left smoking with small cracks on its rocky surface. The Bakuong gulps and steps backwards.]
Kiryuu: “HAAAAAA!!!” [Jumps up and slams the Nosepass with its tail.]
[The Nosepass propels forward, skidding along the ground until it slams into Bakuongu, leaving both unconscious. A few pebbles chipped off of Nosepass’s skin, and small bits of blood leak out from where those pebbles used to be. All the Rocket members in the window appear to be gaping in awe, Female Rocket1 withstanding, who just crosses her arms and smirks. Kiryuu looks at his unconscious opponents, snorts, and then walks onto an elevator platform over at a section of the concrete wall. The scene changes to show the outside of an electronic sliding door. The door opens, Kiryuu walks out, and the door closes behind him. Male Rocket1 walks up to him shortly after his exit.]
Kiryuu: [Looks up at the man.] “What?”
Male Rocket1: “Kiryuu-senpai, you’ve been assigned a mission.”
Kiryuu: “That so?”
[The scene changes. Kiryuu sits on a grass-covered hill. His back faces a rugged shack. Despite the scene change, the voices of Male Rocket1 and Kiryuu are heard continuing their conversation.]
Male Rocket1’s voice: “Our researchers have discovered a rare fish that inhabits a cove inside the Relationship Cave. A nearby, non-migrating school of Laplace eating this fish, but a rock wall blocks their access. They only come when the tide is high enough once a month.”
Kiryuu’s voice: “So you’re trying to get all these Laplace in one spot to easily capture them?”
Male Rocket1’s voice: “Yes. You’re needed to help battle the Laplace. While waiting for the moon to reach the phase necessary for the tide to get high enough, you and some other Rocket members will stake out near the cave.”
Kiryuu’s voice: [Pauses momentarily.] “Understood.”
[Kiryuu looks out at a distant cliff wall with a large cavern opening in it. The scene changes to show Hiro walking with his Eievui and Merriep trailing behind him, and Tattsuu hopping ahead of him. "4099年4月22日 ( 水 )" (Wednesday, April 22, 4099) is displayed momentarily.]
Hiro (narration): “I didn’t think I’d be doing this, but I’m making an attempt to train my Pokemon on my way to Kikyou City. I suffered a very humiliating loss back in Yoshino City, one not even I want to deal with again.”
[Hiro holds up his Pokemon Encyclopedia and looks at random things appearing on the holographic screen.]
Hiro (narration): “I’ve been exercising my Pokemon by letting them walk outside of their Monster Balls. I’ve also been looking up what techniques my Pokemon are capable of using and thinking up possible ways to implement them.”
[A picture of Hiro’s blue-striped Kakureon is shown.]
Hiro (narration): “I don’t have Kakureon with me. I was still mad at Utsugi, so I left it with him.”
[A overhead shot of Utsugi’s lab is seen. Various explosions and screams are heard inside. One of Utsugi’s assistants appears to have been thrown out of the 1st floor window and onto the ground. A word bubble pops out from the lab, and the word bubble has a picture of Utsugi’s face with tears streaming down from his eyes.]
Hiro (narration): “Despite what the fisher woman told me, about how I should use my resources to their fullest potential, I felt Eievui, Tattsuu, and Merriep are enough to get me through the wilderness. Many of the wild Pokemon seem weak anyway.”
[Hiro looks, with half-closed eyes, at a Hoho, also with half-closed eyes, sitting on a low tree branch. He pokes at the Hoho, then lightly bonks it on the head with a large stick. He continues bonking until the Hoho widens its eyes, which glow a yellow color. Hiro backs away, but gets surrounded by a yellow aura. He levitates into the air, then is thrown backwards.]
[The Hoho’s eyes stop glowing and its eyelids lower once again.]
Hiro (narration): “They also don’t seem to attack unless bothered.”
[In the next scene, Hiro stands before a river where Tattsuu and a Tosakinto float on the surface staring eachother. "4099年4月23日 ( 木 )" (Thursday, April 23, 4099) is briefly displayed.]
Hiro (narration): “However, according to the Pokemon Encyclopedia, bothering them, then battling them, is one of the best ways to train a Pokemon.”
[Tosakinto charges at Tattsuu, but Tattsuu paddles out of the way. Hiro’s seen issuing an inaudible command before Tattsuu jumps out of the river and onto the bank, landing on its curled tail. The Tosakinto also leaps out of the river. Its horn glows and it tries driving it downwards into Tattsuu. Tattsuu jumps out of the way and Tosakinto slams its horn into the ground, causing several rocks to fly outwards. Tosakinto, now on its belly and still with a glowing horn, leaps towards Tattsuu. Hiro shouts another inaudible command and Tattsuu shoots a stream of foam that sticks Tosakinto to the ground, making it unable to hop around despite its struggling. Hiro says another inaudible thing, and Tattsuu breathes in hard before shooting a tornado from its mouth, a tornado which sends Tosakinto back flying into the river with swirls in its eyes. Tattsuu closes its eyes in glee, and Hiro picks it up and jumps into the air while Eievui and Merriep dance around him. When Hiro comes back down, Merriep tries rubbing against his leg, and both he and Tattsuu end up getting shocked and fall over backwards.]
Hiro (narration): “Oh yeah, traveling with my Pokemon, I managed to notice a few interesting traits about their personalities. Merriep seems to be very affectionate towards me. It constantly wants me to caress it or hug it or something.”
[Hiro, who’s smoldering from the shock, slowly sits up holding Tattsuu, who’s also smoldering, in his lap. Hiro caresses his hand along Merriep’s cheek. Merriep lowers its head, causing Hiro’s hand to accidentally touch the tuft of wool on top of its head, sending a small spark to his finger and making him quickly pull his hand away.]
Hiro (narration): “The problem is that physical contact with its wool is very painful.”
[Hiro looks down at Tattsuu.]
Hiro (narration): “Tattsuu seems to be very fast, even on land. It enjoys showing off.”
[Tattsuu jumps up from Hiro’s lap and lands on the ground, angrily looking at Merriep with an X-shaped vein on its forehead. Merriep’s eyes widen and it slowly backs away, but Tattsuu shoots a tornado from its mouth that sends Merriep flying up into the air.]
Hiro (narration): “When I was last at the Pokemon Center, I also got some interesting data for all my Pokemon inserted into my Pokemon Encyclopedia.”
[Merriep falls back to the ground with swirls in its eyes. Scene changes. The sun’s beginning to set, and Hiro leans against a tree as he looks at the following data on his Pokemon Encyclopedia.]
POKEMON of HIRO KIMONO
[Small picture of Hiro’s Eievui.] イーブイ
[Small picture of Hiro’s Kakureon.] カクレオン ( 色違い )
[Small picture of Hiro’s Tattsuu.] タッツー
[Small picture of Hiro’s Merriep.] メリープ
[Hiro turns off the Pokemon Encyclopedia and puts it away. He stretches his arms and puts his hands behind his head as he leans further against the tree, closing his eyes. The sound of stomachs growling causes him to immediately open them again. He sees his Pokemon standing in front of him.]
Hiro: [Quickly stands up and runs over to his supply pack.] “Ah, sorry. I almost forgot.”
[Scene changes. Hiro holds up a near empty box of Pokemon food while all his Pokemon eat from separate piles of food on the ground.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes and sweatdrop slides down head.] “I didn’t consider I’d have to feed all of them if I kept them out of their balls.”
[Up in the canopy of a nearby tree, the fisher woman Hiro met back in Yoshino City looks down at Hiro while staying concealed in the tree’s leaves. Her hair-style remains unchanged, but her clothes have been replaced with a pair of hiking boots, tan shorts, a trainer’s belt around her waist, and a white tanktop with a tan vest over it. She’s wearing headphones and pointing a long mic in Hiro’s direction.]
Hiro: [Sits down and leans against the tree again.] “Well, food shouldn’t be a major concern. We should reach Kikyou City tomorrow.” [Looks at his Pokemon.] “Training Pokemon… it really is fun, isn’t it?”
Fisher Woman: [Smirks and holds up fist. Thinking.] (“Alright, now he’s interested.”)
Hiro: [Looks up.] “However…”
Fisher Woman: [Widens eyes and chokes.] “Gi…!”
[Hiro pictures himself, as a short kid about 8 years old, getting tossed around by a couple bullies his age in the park. He’s later shown crying, bandages over his face. Koume, who’s about 10, walks up to him, says a few inaudible words, and strikes a fist at the air. Hiro lightly smiles and punches a fist into the air as well. The next scene, those two bullies fall onto the sandy ground, and Hiro, with bruises on his face, stands over them holding up a fist. Both bullies run away. He then pictures himself, 10-years old, and Sumomo, 9-years old, playing a Super Famicom, seen at an angle where the TV screen isn’t visible. Sumomo closes her eyes, smiles, opens her mouth and raises her first. Hiro lowers his head, blue vertical lines appearing over him.]
[He pictures himself, Sakura, Chris, and a couple other kids, all about 10 years old and wearing school uniforms, standing around together, happily chatting within a classroom. Finally, he pictures himself, looking to be closer to his current age, and his grandfather sitting down and watching his sisters, all dressed as geisha, dancing on a wooden stage. The flashbacks end.]
Hiro: “I have to return.”
Fisher Woman: [Thinking.] “What did he say!?”
Hiro: [Closes eyes and grins.] “I’m sick of pissing on trees like an animal.”
[Eievui and Merriep growl and look at Hiro with darkened eyes and a wavy, hot red background behind them.]
Hiro: [Sweatdrop slides down head.] “Sorry.”
Fisher Woman: [Clenches teeth and flails arms around. Thinking.] (“Crap, what do I do?”) [Falls off branch.] “WAH!” [Snatches branch with her right hand and hangs on.]
Hiro: “Eh?” [Looks over at the tree the fisher woman’s on.]
[The fisher woman widens her eyes, thinking she’s noticed. However, some branches immediately move in front of her to keep her concealed.]
Hiro: [Blinks eyes at tree a couple times.] “Hn…” [Looks away.]
Fisher Woman: [Closes eyes and sighs in relief. She whispers.] “Thank you, Metamon.” [Pulls self back onto the branch.]
[A Metamon’s face appears on the branch and smiles up at her.]
Fisher Woman: [Puts finger to chin and looks upward. Whispering.] “Hmmm… Sensei told me to do whatever possible to keep him traveling.” [Pulls out cell phone. Continues whispering.] “Looks like I’ll have to resort to this.”
[Once Hiro’s Pokemon are all finished eating, he retrieves Merriep and Tattsuu into their balls. The scene changes. It’s daytime, and an overhead view of a small city, very modern looking in appearance with the exception of a tall, traditional Japanese tower in the middle of it, is shown. The text "4099年4月23日 ( 木 )" (Thursday, April 23, 4099) is briefly displayed, along with “キキョウシティ” (Kikyou City) displayed underneath it. Hiro’s shown with half-closed eyes, one of which is twitching. From a different angle, he and Eievui are standing in front of the yellow and black tape of a road block, behind which, several men are moving a large pile of fallen trees and shrubs.]
Hiro: “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
-'Senpai' is a name suffix for those who've been around somewhere longer than the speaker, like one's senior at school or workplaces.
The Big Al
25th April 2005, 1:47 AM
Apparently there is a force out there that does not want Hiro to make it home. Who could it be? Keep it up. I'm offically a dedictated reader.
25th April 2005, 3:04 AM
Wow, so fast. I'm jealous of your ability to write so fast. :P But you just conivced me to vote at the Ocsars this fic/Kiryuu/you deserve it. Though I really wonder about Kiryuu's past. And with all the praise he's getting, don'tcha think that he should be called "Kiryuu-sama"?
25th April 2005, 1:08 PM
Remember me? LOL. I haven't had a chance to read the re-write yet, but I followed the original very closesly and was a big fan until like.... chapter 20 or so when things just started getting different. I'll make time to read this through, though. Oh, BTW, I'm HPHQ from the old Serebii forums.
Quickly, could you answer one question for me. Do you still have that geocities page with information about the story and pics? That would be great to find out! Thanks!
12th May 2005, 8:28 AM
Kiryuu is referred as 'senpai' because he's been there for a long time and seems very knowledgable. However, he's not their superior, so he's not being referred to as 'sama'.
No, I don't have a geocities page. BTW, would you mind PMing me what you didn't enjoy past chapter 20? Let it be known, the dark plot was intended from the start.
Anyway, sorry I haven't posted a new chapter lately. Guess I couldn't keep that weekly-streak up for too long. College semester's coming to a close, and with it, I'm trying to meet deadlines on assignments and whatnot. But, it'll all be over with soon. In the meantime, I suggest you all read the following....
To all readers,
Recently, I've been thinking of making a few tweaks to the storyline that I very recently thought up, however, I don't know if I'm going in the right direction with them or not. Of course, I can't post my ideas here at risk of spoiling, so I'm making this offer. This Sunday (5/15/05) at noon, American Pacific time (GMT -8:00), meet me on an AIM chat room that I will title "orochi" (I like snakes, so sue me). It is here that I'll discuss my plans and you can give me your opinions there. Just remember, you come at your own risk of having major spoilers brought upon you. Also, do not consider plagiarizing whatever I haven't posted yet, for there are bound to be people against plagiarizing in the chat room that can back me up if you try to pull anything like that. I hope to see some of you there.
12th May 2005, 1:28 PM
So, at 2:00 in the morning for the Americans in the East Coast?
24th July 2005, 3:07 PM
Actually, if you mean you live in the eastern time zone, that would be 3:00 P.M. Over in California, I have no clue. Somewhere in between, don't ask.
24th July 2005, 11:03 PM
that's already passed long ago, and no one showed up, thank you all very much. Sorry that I haven't had a new chapter in such a long time. I was busy with the end of the college semester, getting through the summer semester, took a break to do a little translation project (which, at the moment, I haven't gotten confirmation whether or not it's acceptable to post here, but you can see it if you happen to go to the other forums I post at), etc. I hope to get the next one up maybe within the next week or two.
The Big Al
25th July 2005, 3:24 AM
I'd like to know what poor Hiro is staring at. It's good here you're still trucking. This is one of my favorite fan fics, right up there with "Long Road to Glory" by Oddish. However, this one is a whole lot funnier.
26th July 2005, 5:44 PM
Well, if my reading is correct, Al, you need to pay more attention to the fic. He's staring at a road block.
Yes, Yamato-san, this is the best fic I've read in a long time. I just downloaded the japanese-character thing so I can see the characters, and they belong in this fic!
The Big Al
26th July 2005, 10:33 PM
But what is causing the road block. They don't just appear out of nohwere you know.
27th July 2005, 6:58 AM
meh. Good point... Next time, be more specific with your question, and you'll get a more strait answer (or none at all). Remember, AaSQGaSA.
7th September 2005, 6:58 AM
Oh god, am I ever so friggin late with this one. I’m so sorry for the four-month delay. Things got pretty hectic, with college finals, I had Summer school to make up a couple classes, still been job-hunting, and in my free time, I got pre-occupied with finishing the item collection sidequest on .hack//quarantine (thus, finally completing the .hack game series that I’ve been playing on and off for the past couple years), started getting into Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana, and some other things. For some reason, it was hard to stay focused on writing this for hours at a time (even when I got started on it, it took me about a month), but I’m finally done. I hope you all enjoy, your opinion on whether or not this was worth the wait, I expect to get my next one up a lot sooner, and god, I’m hoping most my old readers hadn’t given up on me yet.
-Madatsubomi Tower=Sprout Tower
-Shirogane Tournament=Silver Tournament
HOW TO SAY IT IN JAPANESE
-Madatsubomi Tower=Madatsubomi no Tou
-Shirogane Tournament=Shirogane Taikai
[ Hiro, lowering his head with Eievui riding his back, walks along a sidewalk of Kikyou City, which boasts a very traditional Japanese-style appearance.]
Hiro (narration): “I’m Kimono Hiro, 14 years old.” [Eievui walks onto Hiro’s shoulder as he raises his head. Hiro pulls out his Pokegear, pushes a button to turn it on, and both he and Eievui look at the screen.] “I live in Enju City with my grandfather and five older sisters, but… I’m not there right now due to certain circumstances.”
[The Pokegear’s screen displays a digital topographic map of Jouto. Squares represent the various towns and cities, with a blinking square as Kikyou City. Hiro’s finger comes up and points at Kikyou City, then traces it downwards along a lightly-colored area. The view shifts back to Hiro holding the Pokegear.]
Hiro: [Stops walking for a moment, closes eyes, sighs before reopening them, and continues moving forward.] “Alright. I just need to go around this mountain range here, and I should get there.” [Turns off Pokegear. Talks while stashing it away.] “Fortunately, Golden Week’s coming soon. Catching up in school shouldn’t be difficult.”
Hiro (narration): “Journeying doesn’t interest me. I’m accustomed to leading a normal life in Enju. Go to school, live with my family, and…”
[A teen-age boy and girl walk past Hiro. They both wear navy blue Japanese school uniforms, and their eyes are shadowed by their bangs. The girl has pink hair tied in a ponytail that reaches down to her mid-back, and the boy has olive green hair with shoulder-length sideburns and a braid in the back which also reaches his mid-back. The girl’s holding the boy’s left arm, and the boy’s holding a Sabonea with both his hands. Hiro stops to look back at them.]
Girl: [Turns head towards the boy.] “Yuuki-kun, promise me you won’t leave with that Pokemon until after graduation.”
Yuuki: [Rubs the back of his head with his right hand.] “Understood, understood…”
[Hiro continues looking back at them. Eievui looks at him, tilting his head.]
Hiro (narration): “I’d like to get a girlfriend soon.”
Eievui: [Jumps atop Hiro’s head and looks down at him.] “Bui?”
[Hiro looks up at Eievui, smiles, and continues walking.]
CHAPTER 16: FOR LOVE
[A torii, the red archway signifying the entrance of a Shinto shrine, is shown shortly before a 500 yen coin is seen laying atop the thumb of a clenched hand. At a different angle, Hiro looks down at the coin, which is laying on his own thumb, before flipping it into the air and letting it fall into a large wooden box that sits before him. Afterwards, he grabs the red and white rope hanging overhead and shakes it to ring the bell it’s attached to. He puts his hands together and bows forward. Eievui sits atop the supply pack, which is set to the side.]
Eievui: [Gazes at Hiro.] “…..bui….”
[As Eievui stares, the sound of Hiro’s hands clapping twice is heard. When the view shifts back to Hiro, he’s raising from another bow with his hands together, eyes closed.]
Hiro: [Takes a deep breath, then slowly breathes out.] “Oh gods… please…” [Opens eyes slightly, looking downwards.]
[Close-up on Hiro’s right eye, which closes again before a flashback shows him and Eievui falling into a cargo crate. Another flashback shows Utsugi standing in front of Hiro and Eievui, inaudibly moving his mouth, and one more shows Hiro and Eievui standing before the yellow and black-striped tape of a road block, which prevents access to an area with fallen trees and shrubbery being removed by road-workers. The flashbacks end, and Hiro’s shown from a back-view, slowly lowering his head.]
Hiro: “I… truly wish to return home.”
Eievui: [One foot steps down the supply pack towards Hiro momentarily, then he lowers head.] “…buiiii.”
[The scene changes to show a view of the sky, filled with a few clouds. Hiro sits outside the worship hall against a stone pedestal with a statue of a Windie at the top, arms folded behind his head, and Eievui still sitting atop the nearbysupply pack. The two are looking upwards as the shadow of a cloud passes over them.]
Hiro: “Hey, Eievui…”
Eievui: [Turns to Hiro.] “Bui?”
Hiro: “Do you think we’ll ever return?”
[Eievui continues looking at Hiro, tilting his head.]
Woman’s voice: “That’s a new face.”
[Hiro widens his eyes, unfolds his arms to bring them to his sides, and looks forward. He sees a young woman with shoulder-length black hair, light blue eyes, white dress, light pink highheels, tan purse, holding a small wooden board, and being pictured standing against a sparkling background.]
Woman: “I visit this shrine often and this is my first time seeing you. A traveler?”
[Hiro’s face is blushing a deep red and his eyes appear to be dotted. Eievui looks towards him with a question mark appearing over his head.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes, still blushing.] “Y… yes… from Enju City, I’m Hiro.”
Michie: [Closes eyes and smiles.] “Michie. Nice to meet you.”
Hiro: [Eyes open, stops blushing.] “Hn?”
[Hiro notices the wooden board that Michie’s holding, which says the following written in black ink.]
(My family’s well-being.
Michie: [Walks over to a nearby rack with several similar wooden boards hanging on it.] “I love to help out traveling trainers. Would it be good if I showed you around?” [Hangs her board on the rack.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes, smiles, and nods.] “Yeah… that’d be nice.”
[In the next scene, Michie’s walking on the sidewalk alongside a stone wall, which appears to be in front of the courtyard to a tall wooden building. Hiro’s blushing and smiling with his eyes closed as he trails behind, with Eievui by his side.]
Hiro: [Comes to a stop.] “Wonderful, isn’t she Eievui?”
Eievui: [Freezes as he was about to take another step forward. Turns head and looks up at Hiro.] “Bui?”
Hiro: “Cute… kind… loves family…” [End of lips curl up further as flowers and sparkles appear in the background.] “A perfect girl.”
Eievui: [Jumps onto Hiro’s shoulder.] “Bui…” [Waves front paw in front of Hiro’s face.]
Hiro: [Opens eyes and leans forward, holding up fist and grinning.] “Alright, I’ve decided!”
Eievui: [Falls backwards off of Hiro’s shoulder, flailing forelegs.] “Buibuibuiiiii…!” [View is on Hiro’s upper-torso, so only the sound of Eievui hitting the ground is heard.]
Hiro: [Blush disappears. Pulls out Pokegear and looks down at it.] “Before I leave this Kikyou City, I’ll get her phone number without fail…”
Michie: [Stands at a wide, opened metal gate in the wall, shouting over to Hiro and Eievui.] “Hey! Are you coming?!”
[Hiro looks up from his Pokegear, and Eievui’s head, which has an X-shaped bandage on it and a small tear forming in his left eye, pops up next to Hiro’s waist.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes and smiles relaxedly as he stashes away his Pokegear. Sparkles pop up around his head as he calls out.] “Yeeeeees!” [Runs towards the gate.]
[Inside, Hiro, Eievui, and Michie walk through a clear path in the courtyard.]
Hiro: “So, this is the Madatsubomi Tower?”
Michie: [Nods.] “Yeah.”
Hiro: “Why do they call it…?”
[Upon stepping through the open doorway of the tower, Hiro looks forward and gasps. In front of them lies a large, open room, with a ceiling reaching up to, supposedly, the very top of the tower. Several walkways with guardrails and stairs leading up and down to one another line the walls to surround a big square area with a large wooden pillar, which sways back and forth, in the middle. Various visitors and monks walk along the walkways, as well as varying groups of Pokemon, including Koratta, Ratta, Otachi, Poppo, Caterpie, Madatsubomi, and Hanekko, which enter and exit through small, open windows.]
Hiro: [Sets supply pack to the ground and slowly walks up to the guardrail, staring at the swaying pillar as he lays his hands on the guardrail.] “…sweet…”
Michie: “This is one of the most interesting places in Kikyou. That single post supports the whole tower, and despite its swaying, the rest of the tower doesn’t move at all.” [Walks up next to Hiro and lays hands on the guardrail, looking up at the pillar as well.]
[Hiro looks at Michie as she comes up to him. Eievui, meanwhile, wanders towards a nearby group of Poppo and Hanekko, all either hovering or perching at the edge of the walkway.]
Michie: “It’s a very interesting puzzle, isn’t it? It’s not yet fully explained, but several have related the swaying post and the still building to the movements of a Madatsubomi.”
[In the background, Eievui and one of the Hanekko playfully chase eachother around.]
Hiro: “But…” [Eyes turn beady, head tilts.] “What kind of flower bud is that?”
Michie: “Madatsubomi…” [Points to a Madatsubomi standing on the walkway across from them.] “That Pokemon over there is Madatsubomi.”
Madatsubomi: [Body wriggles while head stays in place.] “Tsubo…”
[Eievui jumps up and tackles Hanekko, and the two tumble along the ground a bit. They both look up at eachother up, close their eyes, and laugh playfully.]
Eievui (simultaneous): “BUIHIHIHIHI…!!”
Hanekko (simultaneous): “HAHAHAHAHA…!!”
[In the background, a sweatdrop slides down Hiro’s head, and he forces a laugh.]
Hiro: “Hahahaha…. of course….”
Hanekko: [Opens eyes, hovers off the ground and looks down at Eievui, smiling.] “Hane, hane hane…”
Eievui: [Opens eyes and looks up at Hanekko.] “Bui?”
Hanekko: “Hane! Hane hanene…” [Closes eyes, smiles, and points back towards Hiro and Michie.] “Hane?!”
Eievui: [Closes eyes and nods.] “Bui, bui!”
[Hiro and Michie are still looking up at the post. Hiro takes a quick glance at Michie and blushes before turning away.]
Michie: “Truth is…”
[Hiro looks towards her again.]
Michie: [Blushes and looks downwards.] “I was lonely often. I didn’t make many friends in school, and I used to be distant from my parents and elder sister, so I came here to look at the pillar and clear my mind.” [Closes eyes, smiles, and raises head.] “However, I became friends with the Pokemon here… also…”
Eievui’s voice: “Bui!”
[Hiro and Michie and look down to see Eievui and Hanekko.]
Michie: “Oh?” [Turns to Hiro.] “Look, Hiro, it seems like your Eievui’s made a friend.”
Hiro: [Crouches down and looks at Eievui.] “Really?” [Looks at Hanekko, tilting head.] “This Pokemon is…”
Michie: “It’s a Hanekko.”
Hiro: [Closes eyes, crookedly smiles, and sweatdrops.] “Is… is that so?”
Hanekko: “Hane!” [Hovers up to Michie and sits atop her head.]
Michie: [Closes eyes and smiles.] “Cute!”
Hanekko: “Hane!” [Hovers off Michie’s head and drifts down to her shoulder. Tugs at the strap of her purse.]
Michie: [Dotted eyes plop open.] “Huh?”
Hiro: “Hey, what are you doing?!” ****ies to grab Hanekko.]
[Hanekko slides the purse off Michie’s arm, dodging Hiro by swiftly moving sideways.]
Michie: [Eyes widen.] “M… my purse!!” ****ies to grab her purse, but misses when Hanekko floats upwards.]
Hiro: [Sneers.] “You…” [Jumps at Hanekko.]
[Hanekko hovers beyond the guardrail. Hiro misses again, and this time, the upper half of his body ends up leaning over the guardrail as a result.]
Hiro: [Eyes widen.] “Uwaaaa…!!!” [Closes eyes and flails arms.]
Michie: [Grabs the back of Hiro’s sweater and pulls.] “Giii…” [Closes eyes and clenches teeth until Hiro’s no longer leaning. Afterwards, she lets go and sits down, panting.] “Haa… haa…”
Hiro: [Rests hands and head atop the guardrail.] “I’m saved…”
[Eievui, with a white glow streaking behind him, jumps on top of Hiro’s head. Hiro’s face hits the guardrail, and Eievui jumps at Hanekko, still with a white glow behind him.]
Hanekko: [Closes eyes and smiles.] “Hane hane!” [Ascends.]
Eievui: [Eyes widen.] “Bui?” [Flails legs.] “Buibuibui…!” [Grabs and hangs onto the purse, which is hanging down from Hanekko.]
Hiro: [Gets head up from the guardrail and gasps.] “Eievui!”
[Hiro looks around and spots a nearby staircase leading down. He goes to the base floor just below and runs up to the guardrail. He jumps over the guardrail onto central bottom floor, and a nearby monk notices.]
Hiro: [Runs beneath Hanekko and looks up.] “Eievui, let go!”
Eievui: [Looks down at Hiro.] “…buiii…” [Closes eyes and clenches teeth before letting go of the purse and dropping.]
[As Eievui falls, a vine wraps around Hiro’s torso.]
Hiro: [Looks down at vine.] “Eh?” [Gets pulled backwards by the vine.] “Guooo…!” [Back slams into the guardrail. He cringes.] “Ow ow ow…!”
[The vine appears to originate from a Madatsubomi, which is standing atop the guardrail, and behind the guardrail is the monk from earlier.]
Monk: “You’re not allowed near the post!”
Hiro: [Looks up at the monk.] “But… Eievui…”
Monk: [Points a finger upwards.] “Madatsubomi…!”
Madatsubomi: “Tsubo!!!” [Lashes out a second vine, which goes upwards and circles around Eievui.]
Eievui: [Looks at the vine.] “Bui?” [The vine circle encloses around his torso with a snap, knocking the wind out of him.] “…bua…” [A wad of saliva flies from his mouth before his body drops limp.]
Madatsubomi: “Tsubo…” [Reels in the vine holding Eievui.]
Hiro: [Grabs Eievui.] “Eievui! Are you alright?”
[Madatsubomi unwraps its vines from both Hiro and Eievui and they reel back into its body.]
Eievui: [Slowly raises head and blinks eyes opens.] “…bui…?”
Hiro: “Thank god.”
Michie’s voice: “Hey…”
[Hiro and Eievui look up at Michie, shouting down to them from the upper level.]
Michie: “Are you alright?!”
Hiro: “I’m alright!”
[Hiro gets tapped on the shoulder. He looks back to see the monk. He looks down and notices he’s still outside the guardrail.]
Hiro: “Ah! Excuse me.” [Jumps back over the guardrail, still holding onto Eievui, then returns up the stairs.]
Michie’s voice: “Let go, let go!”
[Hiro looks over at Michie. Hanekko’s flying around her,
Hiro: “Michie!” [Runs over to her.]
Hanekko: “Ha ha!!! Hane hane hane!” [Floats higher up as Hiro approaches.]
Hiro: [Looks at Hanekko. Lets Eievui jump off him onto the ground, then turns to Michie.] “Don’t worry…” [Points thumb to self.] “Leave me to retrieve your purse, Michie-chan.”
Michie: [Looks at Hiro with watery eyes. Closes eyes, smiles, and nods.] “Please!”
[Hiro looks at Michie with a smile before he and Eievui run to some stairs leading upwards.]
Michie: [Eyes widen and blink a couple times.] “Michie… chan?”
[Hiro and Eievui run toward another set of staircases, passing by what appears to be the Kikyou gym leader, Hayato.]
Hayato: “Hn?” [Looks back at Hiro and Eievui.]
[Hiro and Eievui run up the stairs to reach the level that Hanekko’s at. Hanekko drifts over near Hiro, floating just behind the guardrail from him. Hanekko swings the purse towards him.]
Hiro: ****ies to grab it.] “Haaaa….”
Hanekko: [Swings the purse away from him again. Puts one hand to mouth, closes eyes, and giggles.] “Ha ha ha ha!”
Hiro: [Looks up at Hanekko and snorts.] “Damn you…” [Looks down and puts hand to chin.] “Because I’d risk damaging the purse, I can’t use Tattsuu and Merriep’s projectile attacks… so, what…?” [Looks up, takes hand away from chin and snaps fingers.] “That’s it!” [Grabs a Monster Ball off his belt and throws it onto the floor.] “Come out, Tattsuu!”
[The Monster Ball opens and Tattsuu materializes from the white energy released.]
Tattsuu: [Looks up at Hiro.] “Tattsuu?” [Eyes widen open and pupils go white.] “Tsuu?!”
[Hiro grabs Tattsuu rather abruptly and places her atop the guardrail.]
Hiro: “Tattsuu, I need you to put as much pressure into your Water Gun attack as possible.”
Tattsuu: [Pupils return to being black. Sweatdrops and eyes move towards Hiro.] “Tattsuu…” [Nods head.] “Tsuu!” [Breathes in deeply.] “Tattsuuuu…!”
Hiro: [Positions Tattsuu’s head at an upwards angle.] “Eievui, propel yourself with the Water Gun and try to hit Hanekko, then jump off of it back onto here. Understand?”
Eievui: [Nods.] “Bui!” [Jumps onto the guardrail, and positions himself to pounce before Tattsuu.]
[Eievui jumps forward, over Tattsuu, who immediately unleashes a thin jet of water with enough force to send Eievui flying upwards, above Hanekko.]
Hanekko: [Gets passed by Eievui and looks up.] “Hane?”
Eievui: [Once his ascent in the air stops, he flips and positions his head downwards before falling towards Hanekko.] “Buiiiiii…!!!”
Hanekko: [Flails arms and legs as beads of sweat fly off it.] “Hane hane hane hane…!!!” [Floats away from its current position.]
Eievui: “Buiii…!” [Swipes his paw in front of himself and begins twirling, moving towards where Hanekko moved to.]
Hanekko: [Looks up.] “Hane?”
Eievui: [Lifts head upwards before slamming on top of Hanekko with his shoulder.] “BUI!!!”
Hanekko: [Left eye closes and right eye turns into a star.] “Haneeee….” [Loses grip on purse.]
Hiro: [Holds fist up to side and smiles.] “He did it!”
Tattsuu: [Hops on the guardrail a couple times in glee.] “Tattsuu, tattsuu!”
Hiro: “Now, jump…“ [Eyes widen and backs away slightly in shock.] “What the…?”
[Eievui prepares to leap off Hanekko’s head, but a yellow powder drifts upwards, off of Hanekko’s body.]
Eievui: “Bui!” [Leaps upwards slightly, but then drops downwards immediately, with his eyelids slowly closely.] “…buiii iiii…” [Closes eyes completely and continues falling alongside Hanekko and the purse.]
Hiro: “Eievui!” [Pounds guardrail, clenches teeth, and lowers head.] “Dammit, it happened once more!”
Michie: [Looks up at the falling Pokemon and gapes.] “No way!”
Hiro: [Leans over rail and looks down.] “I need to shout down to that monk from earlier…” [Eyes widen.] “Eh?”
[Hayato jumps from the level he was on and dives head-first towards Eievui and Hanekko.]
Hayato: “Go!!!” [Throws a Monster Ball downwards to release a Yorunozuku.]
Yorunozuku: “Zuruuu!” [Dives towards Eievui.]
Hiro: “That guy is…” [Blinks.] “Who is he?”
Tattsuu: [Looks down along with Hiro.] “Tsuu…”
Hayato: “Yorunozuku, Updraft!”
Yorunozuku: [Positions self upright in the air.] “Zuruu!” [Flaps wings rapidly.]
[Strong gusts of wind from Yorunozuku’s wings converge to create an updraft of air beneath Eievui, Hanekko, and the purse. They all rise upwards in the updraft, allowing Hayato to nab the sleeping Eievui on his way down.]
Yorunozuku: [Grabs the back of Hayato’s shirt as he’s grabbing Eievui. Falls with Hayato a bit before it gently flaps its wings.] “Zururururu…!” [Flapping gradually turns from gentle to rapid, allowing it to hold up Hayato.]
Hiro: [Returns Tattsuu to her Monster Ball.] “Alright!” [Runs to the staircase leading downwards.]
[Hayato looks down at the sleeping Eievui and smiles, then looks upwards. Yorunozuku slowly ascends while carrying him. Meanwhile, Hanekko’s slowly coming back to its senses as the updraft carrying it ends and it starts to fall once again, along with the purse.]
Hanekko: [Looks down and widens eyes.] “Hane?” ****ies to move the leaves on its head to fly, but notices they’ve been bent downwards, as a result of Eievui’s earlier assault. Squeezes eyes shut and screams as it hopelessly falls.] “HANEEEEEEE!!!”
[A blue aura suddenly surrounds Hanekko and the purse, and both start to slowly levitate in the air.]
Hiro: [Looks down from the staircase.] “Wha…?”
Hayato: [Stares at Hanekko and the purse.] “What the hell is this?”
[Hanekko and the purse rise up to Hayato’s height, which is at the level Hiro’s currently on, one floor above the entrance.]
Hanekko: [Opens eyes to reveal its eyes are glowing blue. Looks in anger at the Eievui in Hayato’s arms.] “Haneeee…!”
[Hanekko unleashes a blue wave of energy which strikes Hayato, Yorunozuku, and Eievui.]
Hayato (simultaneous): “Uooooo….!!!”
Yorunozuku (simultaneous): “Zuruuuuu…!!!”
[Both Hayato and Yorunozuku, as well as Eievui, slam into a wall.]
Hiro: [Looks over and eyes widen.] “Ah…” [Runs over to Hayato’s landing point.]
Hanekko: [Leaves unbend themselves. The blue aura fades.] “Hane…” [Quickly grabs the purse before it drops.]
[Hayato and Yorunozuku are laying on the floor just below where they slammed into the wall. Eievui drowsily crawls out from Hayato’s arms and shakes his head. Hayato and Yorunozuku slowly get up afterwards.]
Hayato: “That Hanekko… knows Will Power?” [Rubs head.]
Hiro: [Runs up to them.] “Are you alright?”
Hayato: [Nods head.] “Yeah.”
Eievui: [Looks at Hiro and jumps into his arms.] “Bui!”
Hiro: [Looks down at Eievui, then at Hayato.] “Thanks for rescuing Eievui.”
[Hayato grins before standing to his feet. They all look up as Hanekko hovers overhead and out an open window.]
Hiro: “Ah… that Hanekko still has Michie-chan’s purse. Let’s go, Eievui!” [Runs off.]
Eievui: “Bui!” [Runs behind Hiro.]
[Hayato puts his hand on his hip. He and Yorunozuku look at Hiro and Eievui for a moment.]
Hayato: [Smirks.] “Heh… I should still help him, shouldn’t I?”
[Hiro and Eievui step off the stairs and run towards the entrance. Michie’s still standing near the entrance, looking worriedly at Hiro as he runs down the walkway.]
Hiro: [Passes by Michie. Thinks to self.] (“I won’t give up.”) [Dashes out the entrance and looks up at Hanekko from the courtyard. Sneers, clenches fists, looks downward, and speaks softly.] “That kind and pretty girl… I love her…” [Looks up at Hanekko again.] “For her sake…” [Runs toward a nearby tree.] “I’ll do my best to not disappoint her…” [Shouts.] “I WON’T GIVE UP!!!” [Jumps up.] “HAAAAA…!!!” [Grabs a low-hanging branch on the tree. Grunts as he climbs onto the branch.] “…hiii…” [Stands atop the branch. Leans hand against the trunk and looks up towards Hanekko once more.]
Hayato’s voice: “Hey, hey, boy… don’t be so rash.”
Hiro: [Blinks eyes and looks down.] “Hn?”
[Hiro sees Hayato, standing in the courtyard and with his Yorunozuku hovering behind him. Eievui looks toward them as well.]
Hiro: “You again?” [Looks towards the Yorunozuku. Slowly opens mouth and smiles. Points at Hayato.] “Hey, can you let me borrow your bird?”
Hayato: “Hn?” [Turns head back towards Yorunozuku with a confused look.] “You want Yorunozuku?”
Hanekko: [Digs hand around in the purse.] “Hane, hane, hane…” [Pulls out a leather booklet. Eyes widen.] “Hane?!”
[Yorunozuku holds Hiro by the back of his shirt as it flaps up towards Hanekko.]
Hanekko: [Looks down at Hiro and Yorunozuku as they approach.] “Hane…?”
Hiro: [Clenches teeth and grabs a Monster Ball off his belt. Throws the ball up towards Hanekko.] “Take this!”
[The ball opens up and releases a white energy upwards. As the white energy begins to take shape, Hanekko’s eyes glow with a blue light. However, before Hanekko could act, the forming energy makes contact with Hanekko’s body, which suddenly starts to get electrocuted.]
Hanekko: [Eyes widen and stop glowing. Electricity surges through its body as it shouts in pain.] “HAAAA…!!!”
[The energy finally forms into Hiro’s Merriep, whose static wool is causing Hanekko to get electrocuted. Merriep ascends just a little more, along with the Hanekko he’s forcing upwards, before the two fall back down again.]
Hiro: [Catches Merriep’s Monster Ball as it drops back down, then immediately retrieves Merriep with a red beam and puts it on his belt. Pulls out another Monster Ball from his belt. Pushes the button on it, causing it to enlarge. Looks at Hanekko.] “You bas****… return Michie-chan’s purse!” [Throws the Monster Ball at Hanekko.]
[Hanekko drops the leather booklet it was holding onto a nearby tree branch. Afterwards, the Monster Ball hits Hanekko on the top of the head, both Hanekko and the purse convert into energy, and the ball opens up and contains the energy before closing. As the ball falls down, Yorunozuku flies underneath and Hiro catches it. The ball wobbles slightly in his hand before stopping.]
Hiro: [Closes eyes and sighs.] “I did it…” [Opens eyes and notices the booklet that Hanekko dropped, still laying on the tree branch.] “Hey, Yoru…”
Michie’s voice: “That was awesome, Hiro-kun!”
[Hiro looks down to see that Michie was outside, apparently watching the whole time. She waves her hand to him and smiles. Hayato grins, looks down, and gives Hiro a thumbs-up.]
Eievui: [Stands next to Hayato. Smiles and closes eyes.] “Bui bui!”
[Hiro smiles while Yorunozuku descends. Upon landing, Michie walks up to him, holding both hands to her chest.]
Michie: “You retrieved it? You retrieved my purse?”
[Yorunozuku lets go of Hiro’s shirt and lands on the ground, then walks over to Hayato. Hiro nods and opens the Monster Ball to release Hanekko.]
Hanekko: [Looks around in confusion, still holding Michie’s purse.] “Hane?”
[Michie tries to grab her purse back, but Hanekko hovers upwards again, causing her to miss.]
Michie: [Widens eyes and a sweat bead flies off her head.] “Haa…?” [Looks up at Hanekko.]
Hanekko: [Laughs.] “Ha ha ha ha ha ha…!”
Hiro: [X-shaped vein pops on his head. Shouts at Hanekko.] “Hey, Hanekko! Don’t play! Return her purse!”
Eievui: [Jumps on top of Hiro’s head and shouts at Hanekko also.] “BUI!!!”
Hanekko: [Looks at Hiro and Eievui, then lowers head.] “Haneeee…” [Descends.]
[Michie grabs her purse and hugs it.]
Hiro: “Hey, Hanekko, could you retrieve the thing you dropped on the branch up there?” [Points up.]
Hanekko: [Looks at Hiro, then nods.] “Hane!” [Hovers upwards.]
Hayato: [Kneels down and rubs Yorunozuku’s back.] “You did good, Yorunozuku.”
Yorunozuku: [Closes eyes and spreads wings.] “Zuruuu!”
Hayato: [Takes out a Monster Ball, retrieves Yorunozuku, stashes away Monster Ball, then stands up.] “Well, boy, it was good that I could help out. But now, I need to go.” [Walks towards the open gate.] “I’ll see you again.” [Holds out one hand and waves as he walks away.]
Hiro: [Slowly waves back.] “Bye bye…” [Watches Hayato round the corner of the gate, then turns around.]
Michie: [Steps in front of Hiro, still hugging her purse.] “Thank you so very much.”
Hiro: [Closes eyes, steps back, and sweatdrops.] “Ah… um…” [Half-opens eyes, lowers head, and scratches his cheek.] “That’s…”
[Eievui’s looking looking up at Hiro with question marks surrounding his head. Hanekko, meanwhile, Hanekko has floated up to the leather booklet.]
Hiro: [Stands up straight.] “Yo… you’re welco…”
Hanekko: [Holds up the leather booklet and shouts down to Hiro.] “Hane hane!” [Tosses down the booklet.]
Hiro: [Looks up.] “Hn?”
Michie: [Smiles and shouts.] “Ah, Dear!” [Runs past Hiro.]
Hiro: [Looks forward with eyes wide open, one eye twitching.] “D… Dear!?” [Booklet lands on top of his head.]
Michie’s voice: “Why are you here?”
Hiro: [Slowly grabs the booklet off the top of his head and looks at the leather cover for a moment. Opens the booklet, and almost immediately, a katana flies out of nowhere and imbeds itself in between Hiro’s neck and shoulder.] “Gya…” [Eyes turn into white circles with a roughly-drawn outline around them. Raises arm before falling backwards.]
Eievui: [Looks down at Hiro with small, beady eyes. A sweatdrop slides down his head.] “Buiiii…?” [More question marks pop around its head.]
[Blood leaks outwards from Hiro, and in his hand, which has twitching fingers, is the opened booklet, with a photograph fitted into a sleeve on each side. In the left sleeve is a picture of Michie wearing a western-style wedding dress, closing her eyes, opening her mouth with a cheerful smile, and leaning onto the arm of a man with short, brown hair, red eyes, a black kimono, and smiling. They both are walking down the steps of a Shinto shrine. The other picture shows Michie in a hospital bed, her hair slightly messy, smiling with half-closed eyes, wearing a pink maternity dress, and holding up a baby wrapped in white cloth. Behind her is the man from the other picture, only this time, he has a thin mustache going around his lip, is wearing jeans and a white T-shirt that reveals his muscular tone. He’s placing his hand on Michie’s shoulder, closing his eyes, and grinning.]
Michie’s voice: “Let me show you the boy who helped me out just now.”
[Michie, with her purse now strapped around her shoulder, walks up. Trailing behind her is her husband, who looks just like he did in the right picture, only this time, he’s wearing an orange T-shirt, as well as a little boy, about two years old, with messy brown hair, blue eyes, overall jeans, and green/yellow-striped shirt.]
Michie: “Hiro-kun, this is…” [Looks down at Hiro.] “Huh? What’s wrong?”
Hiro: [Lays on the ground, sword still stabbed between his neck and shoulder, eyes closes with tears streaming down them.] “It… it’s nothing…”
Michie’s voice: “Ah… you got my pictures back too… thanks!”
[The scene changes to the outside of a two-story house. It’s night, so the house’s inner lights are on. The scene changes again to show, sitting at each side of a low, square table in respective clockwise order, Hiro, Michie’s husband, Michie, and Michie’s son, all eating dinner, not wearing shoes. Hiro’s Eievui, Tattsuu, Merriep, and Hanekko are near where Michie’s sitting, eating from a few small bowls.]
Hiro: [Holds up a clump of rice with his chopsticks, holding a bowl of rice in the other hand.] “Thanks for letting me stay here.” [Puts rice in his mouth.]
Michie: [Holds a soup bowl in both hands. Closes eyes and smiles.] “Don’t mention it.” [Opens eyes and points chopsticks toward Hiro.] “Those Pokemon Centers are a free service, so their quality isn’t as great as a night spent at a household.”
Hiro: [Closes eyes and nods in agreement.] “Yeah, yeah, that’s right.” [Eats some more rice.]
Michie’s husband: [Leans toward Hiro and grins.] “My wife’s wonderful, isn’t she?”
Hiro: [Eyes bulge out. Takes chopsticks out of mouth and thumps hand at chest a couple times. Grabs a glass of water and gulps it down. Takes glass away, throws head downward, and gasps for air.] “Fuaa…” [Blushes, closes eyes and turns to Michie’s husband.] “Yeah, wonderful… haha…” [Forces a laugh. Sweatdrop slides down head.]
Michie’s son: [Puts an empty bowl on the table and sets his pair of chopsticks on top of it. Closes eyes and claps hands together.] “Thank you for the meal!” [Separates hands, opens eyes, and looks up at Hiro.] “Big Brother, can I play with your Pokemon?”
Hiro: [Blush disappears and turns to Michie’s son. Nods.] “Yeah.”
[Michie’s son gets up and walks over to where Hiro’s Pokemon are eating.]
Hiro: [Suddenly widens his eyes and holds his hand forward.] “Wait! Don’t touch Merriep!”
[Michie’s son was about to rub his hand against Merriep’s fur.]
Michie’s son: [Looks back at Hiro.] “Hn?” [Turns back to Merriep. A small spark flies off of Merriep’s fur and onto his hand.] “Uwaa!” [Widens eyes and jumps back. Rubs his hand, looks at Merriep for a moment, then proceeds to rub Eievui’s fur instead.]
[Hiro puts his hand back down, lowers his head, and sighs. Michie and her husband, who had their heads turned toward their son, turn back toward Hiro.]
Michie: “Hey, Hiro, how many badges have you won so far?”
Hiro: [Has a fried shrimp sticking out of his mouth.] “Badge?” [Chews and swallows the shrimp.] “None.”
Michie’s husband: “Still a rookie, eh? I thought that, seeing your low number of Pokemon.” [Looks back at Hiro’s Pokemon.]
[Michie’s son is rubbing his hands along Hanekko’s leaves.]
Hanekko: [Closes eyes, puts hands to hand and wriggles leaves to escape his grip.] “Hane!”
Michie’s husband: [Turns back to Hiro.] “You’re striving towards Pokemon Master, aren’t you?”
[Michie and her husband look at eachother.]
Michie: [Leans forward, hands on the table.] “Well, I wonder if you’re going to compete in this year’s tournament.”
Michie’s husband: “Return home with lots of Pokemon friends?”
Michie: “Become a Coordinator?”
Hiro: “Become a what?”
Michie’s husband: “Live as a traveler?”
Hiro: “Absolutely not.”
Michie: [Takes hands off table and sits back down.] “That’s so…” [Looks up at Hiro.] “Then, why did you become a trainer?”
Hiro: [Looks down and closes eyes. Places bowl and chopsticks atop the table.] “The only thing I’m planning to do is…” [Slowly opens eyes and lifts head.] “Return to my home.”
[Things turn silent for a moment. Michie and her husband look at eachother, then nod. The view changes to outside the house.]
Hiro’s voice: “Huh? What… what’s this…! Let go!”
[Door opens and Hiro flies out, landing facedown onto the cement walkway leading to the door.]
Hiro: “…giii…” [Places a hand on the ground and lifts himself up with it. Looks back at Michie and her husband standing in the door, both with their eyebrows lowered in anger.] “What the hell are you doing!?”
[Hiro’s shoes get thrown into his face and he falls back down.]
Michie: [Points finger at Hiro.] “What the hell are you doing!? You become a trainer, but you’re not gonna take things seriously?”
Hiro: [Sits up.] “It couldn’t be helped.”
Michie: [Folds arms across chest.] “What couldn’t be helped? You became a trainer, and when you’re still new, you try to quit!”
Hiro: [Climbs to his feet.] “That’s not it!”
Michie: “Don’t lie!”
Michie’s husband: [Holds head up and shouts in pain.] “OW!!!”
[Hiro and Michie look back at her husband. Next to his leg, which appears slightly singed, is Hiro’s Merriep. Behind her are Hiro’s other Pokemon and Michie’s son. Michie’s husband steps aside and all of Hiro’s Pokemon run over to their trainer, except Hanekko, who hovers to him instead. Michie’s son watches Hiro from behind his parents. Michie’s husband holds up his singed leg and rubs it a bit.]
Hiro: [Looks down at his Pokemon, then looks back at Michie.] “Why do you care? You’re not a trainer!”
Michie: [Faces down and snorts.] “Fu…” [Walks up to a desk near the doorway. Opens one of the drawers, and pulls out a Pokemon Encyclopedia. She walks over to the doorway and holds it up in front of Hiro. She looks down and closes her eyes.] “My husband’s a trainer as well. Our Pokemon are in storage, but we intend to participate in this year’s Shirogane Tournament.” [Holds Pokemon Encyclopedia down to her side.]
Hiro: [Looks down for a moment in silence.] “I don’t want to enter any tournaments like you… I never even wanted to travel.” [Looks at Michie and points at her.] “Michie-san… you find family to be important, don’t you?”
Michie: [Eyes widen open.] “Ah…”
Hiro: [Looks down again with clenched teeth, bringing his arm back down.] “My home… my family… I loved them too much to want to leave.” [Starts clenching his fist. Eyes clench shut.] “However, things have occurred beyond my control. That’s the truth.” [Half-opens eyes.] “Now…” [Holds up fist and steps forward, eyes open all the way.] “I’m trying to return to what’s important! Don’t you understand?!”
Michie’s husband: [Steps forward.] “Leave this house!”
Michie: [Holds hand up to her husband.] “Wait, Dear!”
[Michie’s husband looks down at her and backs away.]
Michie: [Steps towards Hiro.] “Is this true?”
Hiro: [Puts fist down, looks at Michie, and nods.] “It’s complicated, but it’s the truth.”
Eievui’s voice: “Bui!”
[Michie looks down to see Eievui nodding in agreement.]
Michie: [Slowly smiles. Turns and walks back to the door.] “Come in!”
Hiro: “Ah…” [Smiles as his eyes start to glimmer. Closes eyes and nods.] “Yes!” [Starts to walk toward the door, but then walks back and bends down to pick up his shoes.]
[Binocular frames surround the scene of Hiro and his Pokemon going back into Michie’s house. The view changes, and we see the fisher woman holding a pair of binoculars to her eyes. She’s leaning her foot against the parapet of a tall building which overlooks most of Kikyou City. Her hair gently flutters back in the breeze.]
Fisher Woman: [Takes binoculars away from her eyes. Lays the arm holding them across her knee.] “It’s sad, isn’t it…? Ensuring that boy’s always traveling with his Eievui, but keeping him away from what he holds important.”
[A shadowed figure walks up from behind her.]
???: “We have our reasons.”
Fisher Woman: “I understand.” [Turns head back toward the figure.] “But we can’t force him forever. Couldn’t we have at least explained the situation to him?”
???: “Some day… But for now, we can only do our best to increase his interests in journeying.”
[A Yorunozuku flaps onto the top of a nearby light pole.]
Yorunozuku: [Eyes glow in the dark.] “Zuru…”
[Underneath, the shadowey figure slowly walks towards the light.]
Fisher Woman: [Narrows eyes.] “I’m counting on you…”
[The figure walks into the light and reveals himself to be Hayato.]
Fisher Woman: “…Hayato…”
-Golden Week is around the end of April/beginning of May. It’s a week containing a few Japanese national holidays that occur around the same time.
-I’ll keep this short and simple. Whatever it was Hiro and Michie were doing at the shrine involves the Shinto religion. If you’re interested to know more, look it up. I recommend the keywords “ema” and “haiden”.
-“Tsubomi” means “flower bud” and is part of Madatsubomi’s name derivation. Until Michie points out the Pokemon, Hiro thought the tower was named after an everyday plant.
The Big Al
7th September 2005, 6:35 PM
Note to Hiro: Stay away from older women. She has to be at the youngest 19.
A very enjoyable chapter and Hiro's reaction to Michie's being married slayed me.
7th September 2005, 10:24 PM
Damn, it would have been so cool if Hiro hooked up with her. *sigh*
Nice chapter, l particurally enjoy how Hayato is evil.
8th September 2005, 12:08 AM
Note to Hiro: Stay away from older women. She has to be at the youngest 19.
thing is, in most anime, it's kinda hard to distinguish people who are in their teens and people in their young adult years, so... yeah.
The Big Al
8th September 2005, 8:18 PM
I guess that could be so. The reaction was still priceless.
9th September 2005, 2:16 AM
I have a question (and I didn't want to risk it anyway...)
Can you tell us anything that's non-spoilable (or not too spoilable, at least...) about why did she change her mind?
10th September 2005, 3:53 PM
good chapter... and nice about Hayoto being an antagonist...
The Big Al
10th September 2005, 4:09 PM
How do know the people trying to keep Hiro on the road are the antagonists? They could be the good guys for all we know.
30th October 2005, 8:08 AM
I still don't have a new chapter. However, I'm just letting everyone know you can now view my ad in the commercial thread. Go here (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?p=2276293#post2276293). Be warned, in case you choose to ignore the little message I have before the ad, that it does contain some spoilers.
The Big Al
30th October 2005, 1:20 PM
Sweetness Yamato. That's got draw in some readers.
30th October 2005, 10:43 PM
Sweet... really awsome.
The Big Al
3rd November 2005, 10:54 AM
Just curious. When can we expect Chapter 17?
4th November 2005, 2:10 AM
don't know, really. I haven't been sticking to a weekly schedule anymore, so I just kinda work on these when I feel like it. I was thinking of maybe working on a couple more Pokesho translations between now and when I begin work on the next chapter. I do hope I'll get it in sooner than last time, though. I'm still kinda thinking up the plot, for that matter, considering I have greatly altered certain events from the previous version thus far.
25th May 2006, 1:31 AM
Great story, Yamato-san. I am really looking forward to Chapter 17. There are some things that I am wondering about the Japanese language and the name suffix-things, but that's beside the point.
I would rate this a 7.7/10 (see sig)
The Big Al
25th May 2006, 3:30 AM
I believe it goes something like this.
san = adults and young adults
kun = young boys
chan = young girls, family, and close friends
sama = respect for a superior
sempai (sp?) = superior or someone with more tenior
And there are others. But I don't know them.
As for Chapter 17. *Blows into conch shell* Calling Yamato-san.
25th May 2006, 11:31 AM
Technically, '-san' can be used as a main respectful suffix, but it's used the most between adults.
And you got '-sempai' right.
25th May 2006, 7:52 PM
Thanks, but I thought -chan was used for younger children and/or sweethearts, but that's just the impression I've gotten over the years. -san was, to me, just a way to address someone who you knew the name of but weren't good friends with (but not enemies of, either), and that's really about it.
If I remember right, though:
26th May 2006, 12:11 AM
Those can be used as single words, too (ergo, you can say 'oniisan' instead of 'Shiro-oniisan').
The Big Al
26th May 2006, 1:47 AM
I also believe the younger brothers and sisters call their older brothers and sisters by their title and not name (like how they call their parents by their titles).
*stamps foot and blow into conch again* Yamato-san! *blows into conch again* At least give us a status report. *blows into conch again* *random person takes conch and breaks it over head*
29th May 2006, 6:12 AM
heh heh.... what a coincidence. I clicked the links in my sig after god knows how long.... turns out the Nippon Ichi Club I joined has been pruned. But on the other side of the spectrum, this thread had been revived by Xumahare a mere few days ago. How's that for interesting? XD
I guess I owe it to The Big Al and my other loyal readers, after stating that I'd try to get this next chapter in earlier than last time, to provide an explanation: I'm sorry... I know I said I planned against it before, but I'm going to start from scratch again. I'm still not completely sure about certain things in this story, and posting here is not helping if I want fan feedback. I'm seeking advice from various other, more professional sources now. On top of that, when I get back, I won't be doing a fanfic.... in the couple years I've been doing this, I realize one thing: I am not fit for fanfiction, a fact I've made quite apparent. The only reason I did it in the first place was because I couldn't do a manga.... I lacked confidence in my art abilities, and I feared the difficulty of correcting a mistake. This time, though, I'm gonna try, dammit! I still lack a scanner, and I still suck at drawing with a mouse, but I've been practicing on that. Look...
I sketched Jukain's head off of the front page a couple months ago (it's the pic of him using Leaf Blade on Ukon's Dirtengu, for reference). Though I'm shakey with a mouse, I figure I did well by tracing over lines repeatedly to give it a sketch look. Later on, I also tried to do a bishoujo eye, even give it a bit of a manga shading tone.
I might be able to improve greatly over time, even with a mouse. Just keep practicing, closely observing traditional manga artwork, it could end up looking great. Also, these sketches were done in MSPaint... I intend to use Photoshop to refine them better (I'm still waiting to borrow a disc). I intend to do this manga in authentic Japanese this time, too. I feel I know enough now, especially after doing some translation work, plus I intend to recruit a proofreader from Pokesho forums or some other place I'm familiar with to help me out on that (an English translation will be provided, of course).
I don't know how well this will end up working out, and god only knows how slow progress will be (drawing is usually more time-consuming, plus I'm swamped with job-searching, translation projects, college, and my other hobbies), but I hope you'll all bear with me on this. I wish to reject this fanfiction realm that I've only been forcing myself into and start anew, doing the Japanese doujinshi that I've always wanted to work on. I intend to really get things going (that, or more practice) once I get Photoshop installed. I intend to start off with a small preview of chapter 1, The Mysterious Eievui, before working on my contest one-shot, A Master's Dream, as sort of a test run before I attempt work on a long-running series.
29th May 2006, 11:11 AM
Oh well. You told me already, but it seriously doesn't mean I don't feel sad for this.
Still, it's your story, and it's what you want to do with it that matters, so I have nothing to say against it.
Hopefully you'll manage to draw it faster than you write, though... *chuckles quietly*
The Big Al
29th May 2006, 12:44 PM
Don;t be so sure. Though I'd rather have a great story drawn slowly than a bad comic drawn quickly. Keep up the good fight Yamato-san.
3rd June 2006, 5:52 PM
Did I hear you right, Yamato? You are discontinuing your story? Even after all of the good reviews you've gotten? Isn't that just having too little confidence in your writing abilities? Just like you had too little in your drawing abilities to do a manga? I know that most people would say that "what the author thinks is best", but with discontinuing a great story like this one, do you really still think that way? I'm not trying to stop you from doing what you want, and some people would rather have this story deleted than having to wait months for the next chapter, but why not just re-read the story while your waiting? That's what I've been doing. Why can't you?
EDIT: Sorry about all of the rambling and possibly offending questions, but when I have something to say, then I say it! Sorry again if I offended any of you...
6th June 2006, 7:06 AM
Did I hear you right, Yamato? You are discontinuing your story? Even after all of the good reviews you've gotten? Isn't that just having too little confidence in your writing abilities? Just like you had too little in your drawing abilities to do a manga? I know that most people would say that "what the author thinks is best", but with discontinuing a great story like this one, do you really still think that way? I'm not trying to stop you from doing what you want, and some people would rather have this story deleted than having to wait months for the next chapter, but why not just re-read the story while your waiting? That's what I've been doing. Why can't you?
EDIT: Sorry about all of the rambling and possibly offending questions, but when I have something to say, then I say it! Sorry again if I offended any of you...
You obviously didn't hear right. I didn't say I'm discontinuing my story, just the fanfic. I may've lacked confidence in my drawing abilities, but I said I'm going to try it this time, and after a while, I'll revise this story as a manga. I hardly lack confidence in my writing abilities as you say, and "what the author thinks is best" still applies. As author, I find that my attempts at writing a narrative and a script are still nothing compared to the manga I wanted. Besides, drawing actually sounds a lot easier for me than trying to put things in words.
BTW, earlier I said I'd start things off with a manga based off my contest-submitted one-shot, but now I'm not so sure. After watching a certain episode earlier today, I feel compelled to write a one-shot focusing on Kaede's relationship with this character (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=122116). I'm hoping not to abandon my other one-shot, though I still need to think up a better ending to it than the one I used before. I might end up working on both before starting the series.
The Big Al
6th June 2006, 10:19 AM
I'll be sure to read these one shots. They sound like they could be interesting at least. Especially the new one.
Oh, btw, are you talking about the Hoenn League Kaede or the Manga Kaede *points to sig*?
Just joking, I know who you're talking about.
And if you have trouble drawing, you could probably pick up a book on drawing manga at your local library. I'll be cheering you on.
7th June 2006, 5:34 PM
Sorry I missread, Yamato-san. I hope that your manga will turn out as good as your story has so far. BTW, is it going to be read the Japanese way of right-to-left or the normal "comic-book" way of left-to-right?
The Big Al
7th June 2006, 5:57 PM
I'm hoping right to left. I've gotten used to Manga being read that way.
8th June 2006, 1:23 AM
right-to-left, of course. I said I'm doing a Japanese manga, and I intend to make it look as traditional as possible. This also means it'll be uncolored for the most part (I pray Photoshop can help me make it not seem so pixelated... some kind of rough paper toning would also be *****in').
3rd August 2006, 11:37 PM
Good luck with that, Yamato-san! Can't wait!
19th February 2007, 12:06 PM
god damn, I've gone a while without an update on things. I'm still getting to it, so please be patient. I've been kinda busy with things (I finally got a friggin' job ^^), and I've been talking with guys like TSC and HellKorn for advice on story depth (also, after TSC gave me some advice on drawing manga, I probably will scan drawings as opposed to my Photoshop method). All I can ask from all of you is to remain patient. I can assure everyone that I'll be hard-pressed to completely drop this after all this time (this has probably been the longest time a story's been on my mind without completely dropping it), and even if it takes me a decade, I'm hoping to see this doujin project of mine through all the way.
Also, I thought I'd let all of you be aware that there's going to be a title change. Pocket Monsters Chronicles really isn't working out for several reasons. For one thing, my brother was being a little bastard about the "rights" to the story (like there was any copyrighting involved in the first place... he still manages to be an annoying little prick nonetheless). His title has little to do with the story (I've always felt awkward about that fact), and I figure I've differentiated the story enough from what little concepts he had that I could call it my own by now (I'll probably change the main character, for that matter), so **** him, I say. The problem between us has since been resolved, but since I won't doubt he'll bring up this crap again just to be a cheapskate and get something he wants out of me like he always does (hell, he had long-since abandoned this story until he wanted to force me into loaning him money or something, which he has a very bad tendency of never returning, and thus causing the aforementioned argument to come up), I figured this was the best option. There's also the fact that 4kids already used the name "Pokemon Chronicles" by this point and proceeded to give it a bad name like there's no friggin' tomorrow. With that said, I've already got a new title planned, but I figure I'll keep it a surprise from all of you until I make further announcements. ^^ Look forward to it, everyone.
31st March 2007, 3:58 AM
Well. I wasn't really expecting an update on this thread again. I just decided to check it out on the very small chance that there might be. And there was!
Anyway, will you be posting the updated fic name in this thread? If not, that's fine, I'll just keep searching for it until it's up.
Have fun with that, Yamato-san.
31st March 2007, 10:10 AM
yes, all new info will continue to be posted in this thread until I get around to drawing stuff (in which case, I'll proceed to post in the artwork thread, or possibly link to a different site altogether).
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