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YourFavoriteUser
12th January 2012, 12:31 AM
Rated PG for mild violence and adult themes.
Shiny Zek
nightfall


The Prologue or the Part that Comes Before the Part that Matters


The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Pokeverse has this to say about prologues:

Prologues are that annoying part of a story that come before a story and everything worth mentioning that happens in it, right before the story. So basically, you have a story that is incredibly interesting and you have an entire chapter that keeps you from sweet, sweet entertainment.

Now, in a regular novel, these aren’t much of a problem, because if it’s really that big a pain to use, you can just skip it. But when it’s a fanfiction where chapter are posted once in a blue moon, only when it’s convenient for the author, so it’s a wait before anything interesting happens.

One of history’s worst examples of a prologue was the one that proceeded the fanfiction The Hitchhiker’s Guile to the Pokeverse which contained only a single Guide entry that is irrelevant to the overall plot of the fanfiction, which the author, ShinyRaikou, promises will be wonderful.

He could've start with the invasion and destruction of Earth by the Deoxys army. He could’ve started with President Zaphod stealing the Heart of Gold spaceship and using its improbability drive to reveal that Pokemon is real to two humans, which scientists have theorized is the third least probable thing possible. Assuming it is possible, which, giving the fanfiction following this idiotic prologue, seems certain.

Even if the author chose not to put any of the story in the prologue, he could’ve tried for humor, perhaps mocking Twilight or Justin Bieber, although doing either may lose him popularity with the female toddlers of the world, although they aren’t likely to be reading this fic in the first place.

Besides, it’s just filler. All it is is just rambling about what a prologue is, which most of you already know, and how awful his fanfiction, or more precisely, the prologue to the fanfiction, is. These are generally shorter than an average chapter, and this one is no exception, as it will end in a few paragraphs.

This is definitely one of the most hypocritical Guide entries, because it talks about how horrible a prologue is, yet it functions as a prologue.

One has to wonder if this entry has low self-esteem. Of course, this entry, not being animate, would require a great deal of personification for that to even be probable. And the more probable something is, the less likely the improbability drive is to make it even possible, creating a paradox destroying the universe.

And all you asked is ‘What is a prologue?’

Good bye, and thanks for all the Magikarp.

Shiny Zek
12th January 2012, 12:42 AM
Genius. At first, I though there would be a million references to 42, but this is amazing. Hypocritical prologues. Wow. The second-to-last sentence was the best xD

Please put me on the PM List.







THERE IS NO FOURTH WALL.

Gaiano
12th January 2012, 1:19 AM
Haha, this sounds like it'll be great :)

Knightfall
12th January 2012, 2:33 AM
This sounds interesting, I'll be keeping a eye on this.


PM list if you would?

Knightfall signing off...;005;

Psychic
12th January 2012, 5:21 AM
As a reminder to readers, please remember to say something slightly substantial about the fic in your responses. Specify what you did or didn't like instead of making general statements you could c/p into any thread. Anyway.


Interesting. Douglas Adams uses a very particular writing style, and while I wouldn't say that this mimics it perfectly, you did a fair job adapting it and giving us an idea of what to expect in the story without actually telling us anything.

This was something different to see, for certain. As I said, nothing actually happened, but that was really the point of it. It didn't get boring or long. Your tone works well, and you manage to do a decent job writing about nothing in a way that didn’t feel too tedious. I do have some nitpicks, though.

The Fan Fiction Rules ask that you not change the default font colour, and there’s a reason. I’m not the only person who uses the Dark-Type forum skin, so your black font on black background was absolutely impossible to read. Please change it for everyone’s sake. I also noticed that you put the font and italics tags around every single paragraph. You don’t have to! The tags will continue for every single paragraph until you end the tag. :> Also doing this makes your posts unnecessarily messy.

I’m also going to pull apart your grammar a little. Remember that your prologue was short, meaning it should be easy to proofread and edit. My main gripe about your writing is that it lacks something called parallel writing/structure, which is used by writers to make sentences easy to read and so the grammar doesn’t get out of control.



Prologues are that annoying part that come before a story and everything worth mentioning that happens in it, right before the story happens.
That annoying part of what? This is a bit unclear since a part is considered a part of a whole (and we don’t know what that whole is), so just clarify “the annoying part of a story” or “the annoying bit.” Also remove the repetition of “happens,” preferably the second one, because that’s a poor word to describe a story unfolding.



So basically, you have a story that is incredibly interesting and you have an entire chapter that keeps you from sweet, sweet entertainment.
I wouldn’t assume right off the bat that it will be interesting, and it sounds a little conceited to say so, and not in a parodic way. Add the word “potentially” before “incredibly.”



But when it’s a fanfiction where chapter are posted once in a blue moon, only when it’s convenient for the author, so it’s a wait before anything interesting happens.
Be careful of the way you structure your sentences so you don’t start to set up an explanation through phrasing (the “so when”) and then never finish the thought. I’m not sure what you wanted to say here – maybe that if it updates rarely the prologue makes readers feel like they already have part of the story, but not the interesting bits they’re waiting for.



One of history’s worst examples of a prologue was the one that proceeded the fanfiction The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Pokeverse which contained only a single Guide entry that is irrelevant to the overall plot of the fanfiction, which the author, ShinyRaikou, promises will be wonderful.
I did like this bit, though. It’s a funny little self-reflexive morsel that establishes that no, we’re not kidding about nothing happening in this prologue.



He could start with the invasion and destruction of Earth by the Deoxys army. He could’ve started with President Zaphod stealing the Heart of Gold spaceship and using it’s improbability drive to reveal that Pokemon is real to two humans, which scientists have theorized is the third least probable thing possible.
Parallel structure is important in writing – that means that you can’t say “he could” one time and “he could’ve” another. Either may them both “could” or “could’ve” so the construction and grammar of the sentences is parallel. Also, “it’s” means “it is” – you want the word “its,” which means “belonging to it.”



Even if the author chose not to put any of the story in the prologue, he could’ve tried for humor, perhaps mocking Twilight or Justin Bieber, although doing either may lose him popularity with the female toddlers of the world, although they aren’t likely to be reading it in the first place.
You seem to really like long sentences. That isn’t a bad thing, but they get a little difficult to read. Also, I would make the “may” into a “might” and replace the “it” at the end with “this fic” to clarify.



One has to wonder if this entry has low self-esteem. Of course, this entry, not being animate, would require a great deal of personification for that to even be probable.
I was thinking the same thing to myself after the first sentence, and I like that it was clarified.



And the more probable something is, the improbability drive is less likely to make it even possible, creating a paradox destroying the universe.
Again, parallel structure and grammar is important. “The more probable something is, the less likely it is that the improbability drive will make it happen.” Does that make sense?



And all you asked is ‘What is a prologue?’
Actually, I didn’t. :O Dun dun dunnn!


Anyhow, I hope you'll make the corrections I've pointed out and spend a little more time perfecting and tightening up your grammar in the future so it doesn't distract from the story. Otherwise, it was a cute prologue.

~Psychic

YourFavoriteUser
12th January 2012, 9:50 PM
The Fan Fiction Rules ask that you not change the default font colour, and there’s a reason. I’m not the only person who uses the Dark-Type forum skin, so your black font on black background was absolutely impossible to read. Please change it for everyone’s sake. I also noticed that you put the font and italics tags around every single paragraph. You don’t have to! The tags will continue for every single paragraph until you end the tag. :> Also doing this makes your posts unnecessarily messy.
~Psychic
That's just an annoying thing my computer does when I copy and paste from words; it changes the color of everything and wraps tags around every individual paragraph.

Zibdas
12th January 2012, 11:21 PM
Wow, fantastic prologue. I must hope that you know of the dangers of writing multiple fics at one time, yes? Other than that, great job, and thanks for all the Feebas Words.

YourFavoriteUser
21st January 2012, 10:18 PM
Chapter 1 or the Chapter Where Things Begin to Happen

It seemed like an ordinary Wednesday, but as you probably know, not everything is what it seems. Said Wednesday was a beginning and an ending. It was the beginning of a fan fiction and Arthur Dent’s journey throughout the Pokeverse; but it was also the end of Earth.

Arthur Dent was just a normal human; like all humans he lived on Earth, breathed oxygen, and was ignorant of the existence of Pokemon and the true purpose of his home planet. Of course, Arthur was not pondering whether or not Pokemon existed; nor did he expect that this would be the last day he spent in his home.

Arthur woke up, got dressed, made a cup of coffee, brushed his teeth and got ready for work. While he was putting the toothpaste on his toothbrush, he saw it. Right outside his house, there was construction going on. That’s when Arthur remembered that this day wouldn’t have been normal even if Earth wasn’t scheduled for demolition. Something else was scheduled for demolition. And by something, I mean Arthur’s house, and by demolition I mean destroyed. Arthur brushed his teeth, put in his contacts, ran outside, and before he knew it, he was laying on his back, right in front of a bulldozer.

As you have probably guessed, Arthur Dent was just a normal Homo Sapien. His best friend, Ford Prefect, however, was not a normal Homo Sapien in any sense of the word. In fact, he was about as far from it as you can get. Ford was not a human, nor was he born on Earth. In actuality, he was an artificially created Pokemon commonly referred to as MissingNo, who came to Earth to research The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Pokeverse. The Guide has this to say about MissingNo:

MissingNo is an artificially created Pokemon, created solely to research the Pokeverse for information for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. In fact, because they were created artificially, and according to some, unintentionally, MissingNo are often not considered to be Pokemon.

MissingNo was added to the first Pokemon games, leading to much conspiracy, do to rumors of it totally destroying your game. Nintendo, the creator’s of the game recommend releasing MissingNo, should you catch it.

MissingNo is a popular subject to many fanfics, usually as an antagonist, although occasionally appearing as a protagonist. Despite this, MissingNo are not inherently evil, and how this myth came to be will never be known.

MissingNo have been noted to have the ability to transform into anything, so they can pass themselves off as anything for an infinite amount of time. Therefore, it would not be improbable to assume that you are secretly a MissingNo and you’re the only one aware of that fact.

Because of this, MissingNo are used to go undercover and collect information for the Guide, which is the reason Ford Prefect was on Earth in the first place. Unfortunately, since MissingNo are so good at hiding their species, he was unable to find any to help him get off Earth after his ‘borrowed’ spaceship crashed, and thus became stranded on Earth for about a decade.

So long, and please, don’t panic.

Unlike Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect was well aware of the fact that Earth was about to be destroyed, and he was not about to let himself be killed, nor would he let his one and only friend on Earth be blown to bits with everyone else.

So naturally, Ford went to Arthur Dent’s house with a shopping cart full of peanuts and beer.

“Look,” the head of construction said to Arthur “The plans for the bypass have been on display for over a month. If you wanted to make a protest, you should’ve done it long before now.”

“Now you look,” Arthur replied “I’m not about to let you totally demolish my house. I don’t care why this bypass needs to be built, I don’t care that people have such a desire to get from point A to point B, I don’t care if my house is in the way of point B, you will not knock it down.”

As anyone could tell, the man in charge of construction was clearly irritated. He was very, very, dangerously close to just letting the bulldozer run over Arthur Dent, but he knew very well that was not an option. It would lead to a lot of paper work, much more than what he was in the mood to fill out. And knowing his lawyers, they would not be very happy with him if he had Arthur run over by a bulldozer.

Arthur was also very irritated, and he didn’t want this bypass to be built. It was rather understandable, of course; the destruction of your home is bound to ruin your week. Not quite as bad as having your planet destroyed, but still bad.

Just as Arthur Dent was ignorant that Earth was about to be destroyed, Ford Prefect was ignorant of the fact that Arthur’s house would be meeting the same fate, thus he was confused to see an entire construction crew in Arthur’s yard.

“Arthur!” Ford called out “What’s going on?”

“These bozos want to demolish my house,” Arthur answered.

“Bozos?” asked the head of construction.

“So you’re sitting in front of a bulldozer?” asked Ford “Even if the world wasn’t about to be destroyed, that would be ridiculous.”

“What do you mean ridiculous?” asked Arthur “Wait, what did you just say about the end of the world?”

“Well,” Ford explained “You should’ve made your protest weeks ago.”

“Yes, that,” Arthur replied “But what do you mean by the end of the world?”

“I have a lot of explaining to do,” Ford said “Come with me.”

“I can’t just leave and let them tear down my house,” Arthur protested.

“I think they can wait fifteen minutes,” Ford turned to the head of construction “Let’s make a deal. I give you some beer, and you wait fifteen minutes before starting construction.”

“I don’t drink,” the head of construction replied.

“What if I gave you some peanuts?” Ford asked.

“Dang,” the head of construction said “You know my one true weakness. Give.”

Ford handed him a pack of peanuts and the man promised not to begin construction for fifteen minutes.

“C’mon Arthur,” Ford said.

“Do you really think they’ll wait?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t see why it would matter,” Ford answered “The world has about ten minutes before it’s blown up.”

ebilly99
23rd January 2012, 3:09 AM
SQUEEEE. This is awesome. Are you sure you are not Dougles Adams?

Zangoose1129
27th June 2012, 1:30 AM
This is good so far, but I am kind of lost at the moment.