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KantoMasta
3rd February 2012, 8:05 PM
Hey all. New to this part of the forums, but I've been writing for awhile. I've been working on this fic for awhile now, and when i wrote this originally, the prologue and chapter 1 were seperate, but they're too short, so i combined them.I now have a PM list, so ill PM you on every chapter. Just comment if you want on.

Current PM list:
Nobody yet


Current Chapters:
Chapter 1: below
Chapter 2: here (http://serebiiforums.com/showpost.php?p=14151606&postcount=7) Enjoy!
Chapter 3: here (http://serebiiforums.com/showpost.php?p=14196589&postcount=13)
Chapter 1:

Prologue
Do you remember the days when Squirtle, Charmander, and I were your starters? Back before they discovered any new regions? Well, if you do, congrats, if you don't, too bad, because this is where my story takes place. In good 'ole Kanto.

I was just a baby at the time when the professer found me. I was the runt of my litter, so they abandoned me, left me on Route One, where a Pidgey was sure to get me. I can remember the day like it was yesterday.

The day was a dark, rainy day. I was running, trying to find a shelter. While running, I stumbled and fell. The fall injured my back leg, making me unable to run. I curled up in a ball, not knowing what else to do. That's when I heard a noise. It was silent, but I could faintly hear someone moving. I looked around, but was unable to see anything but wet, green vegetation. That's when they appeared. Two Ekans and an Arbok. They circled me, then began closing. I had no clue what to do. It was useless to fight them, three against one.

"Slowking, stop those pokemon!" shouted a voice. A pink pokemon with a shell on its head suddenly appeared next to me. It's eyes flashed pink, then suddenly, the attackers fell asleep.

"Good job Slowking!" shouted the voice. I looked and saw a two leg standing behind a bush. The two leg ran over to me and examined my leg. The two leg grabbed a bottle of some kind from a pouch he was carrying, and sprayed his contents over my leg. I was instantly healed, my leg feeling fine.

The two leg reached into his pouch again and pulled out a sphere. The sphere was red on top, with a white bottom half. The two leg threw the sphere at me, bouncing it off my bulb. The sphere then opened, sucking me in…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was falling, falling out of the sky. It was a slow fall though, like I was drifting down to earth. I looked down and saw pokemon running around. Lots of Pokemon. I was scared, having grown up around Pidgey and Rattata, not these kind of pokemon. I didn't know what to think. I touched down to the ground softly. I was in the middle of a big grass field. I could see trees to my right, a big lake in front of me, and mountains behind me. The field just continued to my left. From the lake, a small blue turtle came running towards me. From the mountains, a red lizard with a flame on its tail.

The turtle reached me first. He was just a little bigger then me, but he seemed friendy. The lizard also appeared behind me. He also looked friendly, no bigger then the turtle. "I'm Squirtle," the turtle pokemon said. "This is Charmander. You must be the new starter that we heard would be coming."

I eyeballed them. They were obviously young, like me. "Where am I? What's a starter? Who told you I would be coming?" I blurted out. Charmander smiled at this.

"Your young, aren't ya?" he asked. I nodded. The Squirtle took a step towards me.

"Well, where to start? Oh, I know, Trainers. Trainers are the two legs. Trainers raise us, then have us battle. In a trainer battle we don't have to worry abut death like we do in the wild. We just faint instead. Right now you are in a pokeball. A trainer has these pokeballs, to help carry us around. Every trainer also has a land like this, but they can't see it. All of a trainers pokeballs are connected, s any of the pokemon they own come here," Squirtle explained.

I nodded, eager to learn more. We ended up staying there for hours, them teaching me about even more aspects of the world. From battling to catching. The gyms to the champions. The starters to the legendaries. I listened to every word....

haitianzero
3rd February 2012, 8:59 PM
This was interesting. I really like how you characterized Bulbasaur. I'm looking forward to what happens next. Sorry, I don't much to say since not much as happen in this prologue.

I can't wait to see your next chapter.

YourFavoriteUser
4th February 2012, 12:11 AM
Hmmm... this seems like an interesting idea. It's a little on the short side, but of course, it is just a prolouge, so the regular chapters might be longer. I always wondered what happens to that starter nobody chooses. This seems pretty good, and be sure to keep checking up on it.

Agonist
4th February 2012, 12:40 AM
Let me start off by saying this is an interesting concept. That being said, a few comments:


I was just a baby at the time when the professer found me. I was the runt of my litter, so they abandoned me, left me on Route One, where a Pidgey was sure to get me. I can remember the day like it was yesterday.

From what I can recall, the starters are specially bred for the Professors to hand out to young trainers, although admittedly, I doubt Professor Oak would just leave a young Pokemon to die.


I eyeballed them. They were obviously young, like me. "Where am I? What's a starter? Who told you I would be coming?" I blurted out. Charmander smiled at this.

"Your young, aren't ya?" he asked. I nodded. The Squirtle took a step towards me.

"Well, where to start? Oh, I know, Trainers. Trainers are the two legs. Trainers raise us, then have us battle. In a trainer battle we don't have to worry abut death like we do in the wild. We just faint instead. Right now you are in a pokeball. A trainer has these pokeballs, to help carry us around. Every trainer also has a land like this, but they can't see it. All of a trainers pokeballs are connected, s any of the pokemon they own come here," Squirtle explained.

To me it seems as though it'd be fairly unlikely that a starter would know all that much about the outside world, as they would have almost no exposure to any of it until they were chosen. Admittedly, some of Professor Oak's pokemon could have relayed the information on, but anyway, moving on.


Every trainer also has a land like this, but they can't see it.

This line confused me. Do you mean that every trainer has a plot of land where their surplus Pokemon get sent, or that every trainer that Professor Oak gives a starter to sends their extra Pokemon to hang out at his lab?

Also, it'd be nice to see make the chapters a bit longer. Right now they're a bit on the short side. That being said, good job on this first chapter, and good luck with the rest of them!

Calamity™
4th February 2012, 1:00 AM
I'm quite excited after reading the prologue for what you're going to come up with. I don't normally read Fan Fiction, so I'm not sure if this has been done before, but I absolutely love the idea of creating a story like this through a Pokémon's perspective. It's also interesting that you've decided to explore what goes on when Pokémon are in their Pokéballs. The possibilities are endless! I'll definitely be reading on as you continue!



"Your young, aren't ya?" he asked. I nodded. The Squirtle took a step towards me.

All of a trainers pokeballs are connected, s any of the pokemon they own come here," Squirtle explained.


If you're bothered about mistakes, there's two that I found that you can change. (:

KantoMasta
4th February 2012, 4:48 AM
Replies:
First off, im suprised at how many reviews this got! :)

haitianzero:
Thanks, and ya, i have to agree that not much happened.

ShinyRaikou:
Yes, the regular chapters are longer. Chapter two alone is already the size of the prologue and 1 combined.

11tjcoulombe:


From what I can recall, the starters are specially bred for the Professors to hand out to young trainers, although admittedly, I doubt Professor Oak would just leave a young Pokemon to die.


Yes, i know. I just wanted to throw out a small twist.


To me it seems as though it'd be fairly unlikely that a starter would know all that much about the outside world, as they would have almost no exposure to any of it until they were chosen. Admittedly, some of Professor Oak's pokemon could have relayed the information on, but anyway, moving on.

Slowking is like a father to all ;)


This line confused me. Do you mean that every trainer has a plot of land where their surplus Pokemon get sent, or that every trainer that Professor Oak gives a starter to sends their extra Pokemon to hang out at his lab?

Well, I wanted to give a new idea to pokeballs. Instead of pokemon just sitting in a small ball, they get sent to a place that's like a whole nother world. This will be explained as the chapter's go on. But for example: Right now, all three starters are in the Proffesser's world, as all three are owned by him. when they are handed out, they will no longer see eachother in these "worlds" as each trainer has their own.



Calamitу:

Thanks for pointing those out!



And to all, I am hoping to have chapter 2 up by sunday or monday my time. (Pacific)

KantoMasta
14th February 2012, 2:55 AM
Wow, i fell way behind schedule. Anyway, it was the last week for basketball here so i was caught up in that. From now on I am hoping to have a chapter up every monday. Im starting a mention list as well, so ill @yourname when a new chapter comes out. Just say if you want on. Well, here's chapter 2:



Chapter 2: Green

I awoke to Charmander shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes. "Come on, today's when we get picked!," Charmander said excitedly. When I stood up, he took off for a giant boulder that sat in the middle of the large field. I followed, seeing Slowking in front of the stone. As i walked over, he spoke.

"Welcome everyone, as you all know, today is a day that we see off three great pokemon. Charmander, Bulbasaur and Squirtle. Now, if you three would, please climb onto the stone," he said. We all climbed up. "Goodbye, and good luck. I trust that all of you will do good on your journeys."

We all began to float into the air. After we rose about twenty feet, we shot up, fast....


The world was different here. I was on a metal table with Squirtle by my side. I could see Charmander on the other side of the table. We all looked at each other and smiled, knowing that whatever happened, we had eachother. In front of us stood four two-legs, or trainers. One of them i recognized as the Professor, the other three were kids, two boys and a girl. The first boy took a step forward. He was wearing a hat that tried to conceal black hair, but didn't do a good job. He picked Charmander up. "Hi little guy, wanna be my starter?" he asked with a smile. Charmander smiled back, nodding.

The second boy stepped forward. He had brown hair and a necklace that could hold a pokeball. "O.K Red, I'll pick Squirtle so i can beat you!" the boy said. Squirtle jumped off the table, running to the boy.

The girl stepped forward last. She slowly reached a hand towards me. "H-hey little guy, w-wanna be my friend?" she said. I nodded, smiling to show that i was friendly and she didn't have to be nervous. "Ok, I'm Green, can i call you Bulb?" I nodded again.

"Yes!" I exclaimed to Green, but all the humans heard was Bulba! She looked curiously at me, which i thought was strange. Oh well. I jumped into her arms, and she stepped backwards to keep her balance. Green smiled at me, holding me.

"Hey, let's go outside and have our first battle!" Red exclaimed. The other boy, Blue, nodded. Green looked at me.

"Do you want to?" she asked me. I nodded excitedly. All six of us, trainers and pokemon, ran outside to a huge field and took positions at different ends. All three of us pokemon moved towards the middle.

"Ok Charmander, use Flamethrower on Bulbasaur!" Red commanded. Charmander looked back at Red, obviously confused. He didn't know Flamethrower. In fact, i don't think our trainers knew our moves. I took this as an advantage. I ran towards Charmander, who had his back turned. Lowering my shoulder, i slammed him hard enough to send him rolling to Red. I then looked at Squirtle.

"Bulbasaur, go get him!" Green yelled. I looked at Squirtle and smiled. Running forward, i tucked my shoulder and slammed Squirtle. Squirtle fell backwards, landing on his shell. Tackle. Blue shouted randomly, with no real word, excited by the battle.

"Ok Squirtle, counter attack with a move you know!" Blue commanded. Squirtle jumped to his feet and stared me down. His claws grew and he held his arms behind his back. He then began charging at me. As he neared me, he swung an arm forward and Scratched me right across the cheek. The spot where he hit me throbbed and hurt like crazy. I smiled and slammed him again, but both of us fell as i hit him, already tired. I glanced at Red as I went down.

"Fire Spin! Flame Wheel! Earthquake!" Red yelled. Charmander just continued giving him a confused look. That's when i had a plan.

"One combo hit, we can get him, you up for it?" I asked Squirtle, who was starting to get up. He gave a slight nod.

Our trainers called attacks in unison. Scratch and Tackle again. Instead of hitting each other though, we turned and headed towards Charmander. Charmander still had his back towards us. Right before impact, something amazing happened.

"Now!" yelled Red. Charmander jumped into the air, starting a backflip. His claws grew as he gained height. He then came down and i felt a terrible pain behind my head. I fell to the ground, blacking out...

PhantomDragon
15th February 2012, 2:26 PM
This looks really good. I like the idea of telling the story from the starter's POV instead of the Trainer's.
I thought it was a bit short, and I noticed that you didn't always capitalize I when Bulbasaur was referring to itself. For example:


As i walked over, he spoke

Apart from that, I enjoyed this. Looking forward to seeing what happens :)

Calamity™
15th February 2012, 3:38 PM
Hey KantoMasta, a great chapter two! I quite enjoyed reading the action filled, three way battle they all had. I also like how you've already started giving the three characters a personality, which should be fun to see how they expand as characters. I'm quite interested to see what kind of journey Bulba will have now, whether he stays with his friends or goes alone with Green. ^_^ As I did last time, I came across a few mistakes and noted them down for you.

The mistakes:


You used i rather than I in many places, so I didn't bother quoting all of those.




"Welcome everyone, as you all know, today is a day

I was thinking perhaps you were supposed to use 'the day' rather than 'a day'?




"Goodbye, and good luck. I trust that all of you will do good on your journeys.

Needs a speech mark at the end.




I was on a metal table with squirtle by my side.

You capitalised the names throughout, so Squirtle needs a capital.




We all looked at eachother and smiled, knowing that whatever happened, we had eachother.

'Eachother' is not a word. It should be each other.




In front of us stood four four-legs, or trainers.

Humans with four legs? D: Did you mean two legged?




One of them i recognized as the Professer

Professor*



but didnt do a good job.

Needs an apostrophe - didn't.




but all the humans heard was Bulba!.

No need for the full stop.




and she steped backwards

stepped*




Red excaimed.

exclaimed*




"Do you want to?" se asked me.

she*




and took positions at different end.

I think you need to use 'ends', not 'end'.




Lwering my shoulder,

Lowering*




I looked at Squirtle and smied.

smiled*




Tackle. Blue shouted, excited by the battle.

Speech marks?



Instead of hitting eachother

each other*



His claws grew as he gaine height.

gained*



Also, you might want to edit in the chapter (and any future chapters) to your original post.

KantoMasta
15th February 2012, 3:45 PM
Calamity Wow, lots of typos. Thanks Calamity :) and in the first part, i did mean a day, as slowking has been through lots of those days. May i ask what you mean by edit it into the first post? the rules say only one chapter per post?


PhantomDragon Thanks for the review!

Calamity™
15th February 2012, 3:54 PM
Calamity Wow, lots of typos. Thanks Calamity :) and in the first part, i did mean a day, as slowking has been through lots of those days. May i ask what you mean by edit it into the first post? the rules say only one chapter per post?

Never mind, completely forgot about that rule. Got it mixed up with something else on the forums. Also, I got a bit confused with the first paragraph, thought it was the Professor talking to the Pokémon but it was actually that Slowking lol. So yes, that part doesn't need any changing! (:

3D992
15th February 2012, 10:31 PM
I like this story so far. Although I wasnt around for the Kanto games, Kanto is still my favorite region.

KantoMasta
23rd February 2012, 1:44 AM
ok, just a few days late, but heres chapter 3, i think this is my longest chapter yet. It was 6 pages written, while the other two were four. Oh well, here it is:

Chapter 3

I came to my senses lying in an open field. I jumped to my feet, suddenly alert. My head hurt like crazy. It felt like a bad headache. I looked around, suddenly realizing where I was. I was in Green's "Earth"! Since I'm Greens only pokemon, I'm the only one here!

Suddenly, glowing red stripes came flowing down from the sky. There moved in a circular motion. As they hit the ground, passing me, my headache got better and better, until it was gone. Unfortunately, the red stripes didnt last long. Not long after they quit, I started to float into the air...

I landed on a hard floor. Charmander stood in front of me, smiling. Squirtle then began to materalize beside me.

"Sorry bout knockin ya'll out like that, jus' doin what my traina' told me," Charmander explained. Where did the accent come from though? Squirtle seemed as puzzled as me.

"Ummm, have you ALWAYS had that accent?" I asked. Charmander shook his head, smiling.

"Ya see, when i dun beat both of ya fellers in the battle, I leveled up. It's almos' like maturin' for the two legs," Charmander continued to explain. After hearing this, I was almost scared to win, I didn't want to change. I like my voice how it is.

I then felt a hand on my bulb. "You did great out there," Green said, smiling.I then realized where we were. We were at the lab! The machine in the corner that had slots for pokeballs must have been what made the red stripes. The proffesor then walked up to us. He had three red devices and fifteen pokeballs.

"One pokedex and five pokeballs for each of you," he explained. "The Pokedex is a device that can give you information about any pokemon you may see, catch or own. Go ahead, try it out on your starters." He handed each trainer a pokedex and the pokeballs. Green put the pokeballs in her backpack, then aimed the pokedex at me, flipping it open.
"
"Bulbasaur, the grass pokeon. The Bulb on it's back is said to grow and blossom as the Bulbasaur grows. Bulbasaur is the pre-evolution of Ivysaur." the pokedex said. I was suprised it knew that much about me.

Green then put the pokedex in another slot of her backpack. "Guys, if we want to get a good start by sundown, we better go," Green said, looking at the five of us. Blue was first to reply.

"Ya, I guess we better go. It just seems weird that after wanting this day to come for forever, im nervous now that it's here," Blue explained.

"Well, I guess I've stalled long enough, come on you guys," Proffesor Oak said.

Our trainers gave him a puzzled look. We just followed though, not wanting to question Oak. This walk was oing to take forever unfortunately, as I think Oak purposely walked slow.

We walked outside and past a few houses before getting to where we were going. When I saw it, I gasped. There were children running around, and adults were talking. When they saw us though, they all started clapping and cheering. Our traine's parents ran over to us.

"What do you think? Pretty good huh?" Red's mom asked.

The three of us pokemon smiled, but ran to where Route 1 started, wanting some last few minutes alone befre we left.

"Jus' think, our journeys begginin' here, on dis route. Too bad we ain't gunna be together," Charmander said. A flock of Pidgey flew over us.

"That's going to be the first pokemon Blue and I catch," Squirtle sad, pointing to the largest Pidgey in the flock.

I shook my head. "Rattata's better, they're fast and tough. I actually battled one once, whe I was little," I explained. The other two laughed.

"Guys, I just realized something. Only one of us can become the champion, what will we do then?" Squirtle asked.

"We'll have one last battle, just the three of us. And we won't have any backflip scratches," I said. Squirtle busted up laughing, but Charmander blushed.

I looked at the sun, which was just going over the horizon. "Guy's, I think it's time," Charmander said, sad. As he said this, I saw our trainers walking towards us.

"I can't believe it's finally time," Blue said again. I saw tears swelling up in his eyes. i also felt them in my own.

"After eleven years of just the three of us, we're finally parting ways. We'll meet again sometime though, right?" Blue asked. The other two nodded. I realized all six of us were holding tears back. Trying not to cry, Red sped things up.

"Well, I guss I'll see ya'll later, come on Charmander," Red said. He shook Blue's hnd then hugged Green. Turning and walking away, Charmander waved as he followed Red.

Blue and Squirtle left next. Blue hugged Green as well, then walked off, in a different direction, trying to seperate their jouneys. I looked up at Green, holding tears back.

Green walked towards our right, a different path than the other two. We took our first steps into our journeys, our new lives. I followed her, wondering what awaited us on route 1....


Authors note: This chapter was fun to write. I like writin sadder scenes liek at the end, and I LOVE Charmander's accent. P.S, that @ list that i mentioned before is now a P.M list, as i realized you can't @ on here.

PhantomDragon
26th February 2012, 7:30 PM
Review time! And as I did so badly at finding mistakes last time, I will do my best next time around.


I was in Green's "Earth"! Since I'm Greens only pokemon, I'm the only one here!


The change from past tense to present tense feels a bit misplaced here...


Unfortunately, the red stripes didn't last long

Missed the apostrophe there.


The proffesor

I'm fairly sure that "professor" only has one 'f'...and two lots of 's'.


"One pokedex and five pokeballs for each of you," he explained. "The Pokedex is a device that can give you information about any pokemon you may see, catch or own. Go ahead, try it out on your starters." He handed each trainer a pokedex and the pokeballs. Green put the pokeballs in her backpack, then aimed the pokedex at me, flipping it open.
"
"Bulbasaur, the grass pokemon

Random speech marks between lines and misspelling of Pokemon.


The Bulb on its back

There shouldn't be an apostrophe there.


This walk was going to take forever

Missed the 'g'.


as I think Oak purposely walked slow.

Haha, I don't know how to explain this but I can kind of see Oak walking really slowly on purpose to annoy newbie trainers... :)


Our trainer's parents

Missed the 'r'


wanting some last few minutes alone before we left

Missed the 'o'


Squirtle said, pointing

Missed 'i'


when I was little

Missed 'n'


"Guys, I think it's time,"

Don't need apostrophe here either.


I also felt them

Should have been capital 'I'



I'm really glad you finally got round to putting another chapter up - looking forward to seeing what happens on Route 1. :)

KantoMasta
27th February 2012, 6:18 AM
Wow, less mistakes then last time at least. I's seem to be my biggest problem :P. Oh well. I actually can't wait for what happens, as i have it all planned out. Expect more chaptrs soon!