View Full Version : Star Wars: Dawn of the Pokémon

2nd April 2012, 12:12 AM
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. . . .



(Words scroll across a black sky, with scattered stars, and disappear into the distance.)

It is a period of peace and prosperity. The Galactic Republic has been restored to its previous power. Extremists for the old Galactic Empire are being hunted down by the New Republic.

Nearly a century ago, Republic leaders secretly sent agents to travel outside of the known galaxy in search of other life forms. Almost two decades later, they returned to find Chancellor Palpatine in an almost totalitarian Republic. He secretly ordered their findings, a being called MEW, to be hidden on Mustafar, where it would be experimented on.

After years of evolution and reproduction on the uninhabited planet, these beings have fought back against their captors and taken control of their ships. Many will soon find out about a century old secret that may change the galaxy. . . .

Darth Revan
Dark Searchman

Darth Revan
2nd April 2012, 12:14 AM
Holy crap. Amazing!!!!!!

2nd April 2012, 12:15 AM
Pretty sure it's supposed to be longer, but I'm intrigued!

2nd April 2012, 12:17 AM
Thanks. It's short because it's a prologue so I tried to imitate the beginning thing of all the star wars movies.

2nd April 2012, 2:07 AM
This is an interesting plot idea, but it needs to be much, much longer.
The minimum length for chapters is TWO PAGES.

Suggest you fix this problem before this is closed by a mod. Please take my advice.
Other than that, I hope it works out.

Knightfall signing off...;005;

2nd April 2012, 2:10 AM
Thanks. It's short because it's a prologue so I tried to imitate the beginning thing of all the star wars movies.
There is no length rules for prologues.

2nd April 2012, 2:15 AM
True, but I was mainly talking for future chapters.
I was just trying to make sure that this didn't get closed.
I've been waiting a long time for a crossover fic like this.

Edit: Apprently I'm not the only one waiting for a fic like this.

I'll be waiting to read the first chapter.
Knightfall signing off...;005;

2nd April 2012, 2:34 AM
I'll be following this for sure. Could you make a PM list and add me to it?

2nd April 2012, 2:44 AM
Sure. Hopefully this fan fic turns out good.

2nd April 2012, 3:27 AM
Uh, yeah. I seriously would like to be added to the PM list, please. I know this is going to be good.

2nd April 2012, 3:32 AM
I am a Star Wars and a Pokemon fan. This intro definitely caught my interest. Add me to your PM list when you get the chance. I look forward to seeing this unfold!

2nd April 2012, 4:15 AM
PM list please!

2nd April 2012, 5:43 AM
While the prologue is short, it is technically not breaking any rules. If you were hoping to give off the effect of the words floating through space of the actual films, you could consider actually saying "against a dark background dotted with stars, yellow block letters begin to scroll downwards" or something like that. Depends how serious you want to be, really.

To all readers, please be aware that your responses to a fic need substance. "This is amazing" or "put me on the PM list" is not a sufficient post in response to a fic, as explained in the Rules. Quoted for your convenience.

11) The following posts are considered SPAM and will get you into trouble with the Mods:

–Posts that say nothing about the fic itself such as: “I like this fic!” “That was awesome!” “You’re a great writer!” These kinds of posts can be posted anywhere and don’t show that the poster even read the story. If a writer put in the effort to write a fic, the least you can do it type up a few lines’ reply.

–Posts asking about fic updates: “When will the next chapter be up?” “Are you almost done the next chapter?” They are rude, period.

Generally, a post in reply to a Fan Fiction thread should consist of:
What you liked and thought was well-done in the story
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These three points will help the writer improve his/her abilities and gain confidence to do so. However if you feel too unsure of yourself to critique, please ensure that you show at least evidence of you reading the written work; “I like this” could be posted on any thread without even reading the story, so it doesn't tell the writer anything about their own story. Such posts are considered SPAM and will get you into trouble, as people have done this in the past just to increase post-count. All you have to do is say something specific: “I liked this fic and my favourite part was the battle between Charizard and Rayquaza” or “the description could have been better, such as when you were describing Misty in Chapter Three” to show signs of actually reading it and to be helpful.

This is a note for all users who wish to post in the forum again, and for future readers of this fic. I'd really rather not have to hand out infractions. Thanks for your understanding.


2nd April 2012, 6:58 PM
Psychic, thanks. I added a part that hopefully made it clear that it was like the movies.

Darth Revan
2nd April 2012, 8:11 PM
Add me to the PM list please.

2nd April 2012, 9:44 PM
May I please be added to the PM list?

Knightfall signing off...;005;

Dark Searchman
3rd April 2012, 10:18 AM
Wow, this prologue really does show the potential that this story can have. When I was a kid, I'd imagine different Pokemon in Star Wars, and now we have something that can turn my imaginings into an interesting, new reality. I'd like you to add me to your PM list because I want to see how this turns out.

4th May 2012, 2:16 AM


A small gray ship flew through space. The ship was a cargo carrier with small, fat wings, not good for fast maneuvering or fighting.

It neared a mostly black planet, which would have been completely black if it wasn’t for the millions of lights clustered together in a random way. Each small cluster meant there was a city. In fact, the whole planet used to be one city, before the Emperor came to power. It was called Coruscant. It has almost always been the home of the Galactic Senate for the Republic and the Jedi Council.

As the ship approached Coruscant, the cities became visible. Small car-sized speeders raced through streets and in between buildings, both at ground level and twenty stories high. Long, whale-sized buses and other public transports carried inhabitants throughout the city.

Platforms floated in the air for foreign guests to land on and get assistance or a ride to wherever they were going.

The cargo ship landed on the arm of a Y-shaped platform and the hatch opened beneath it.

A man dressed in robes walked out of the ship and towards the middle of the platform. He had short black hair, and a scruffy beard; the combination of his unshaven face and dirty robes made him appear poor, however, he was very much the opposite.

Following him was a man in faded white armor. He carried a helmet that would cover his head if he were to wear it. His right shoulder had a royal blue insignia, similar to the one on his helmet.

He caught up to the man in robes and asked, “General Quinn, what will the council do when they hear the message?”

“I don’t know,” Quinn said with a bit of annoyance in his voice, “Can’t you wait until we get there.”

“Sorry I asked. I just was hoping we’d get a mission assigned to us that isn’t about some damn cargo transport.”

“You and I both, Wesley.”

A small speeder stopped next to the platform and the two men stepped in.

“Where you goin?” the driver asked in his gruff uncaring voice.

“To the Jedi Temple, please,” requested Quinn.

“You’re a Jedi?” asked the driver. Quinn nodded. “Haa! I remember when Jedi were noble, high class politicians. You look like a bum!”

“Just take us to the temple.”


Onboard a massive red and gray freighter, creatures unknown to this galaxy argued about their past and future actions. Two creatures in particular argued. One was a tall, gray humanoid, with a green tail and bulbous fingertips; and the other a small fiery “animal” that had a tan stomach and a blue back.

“We must do it to escape!” said the gray humanoid, “We’ve been held captive for too long! We must stand out against evil!” The crowd roared from all over the ship.

The smaller creature said, “What you’re proposing is evil itself. It won’t stop evil; it will only fuel it.” A few claps were heard, but many hissed as the creature spoke.

A pink, crowned creature stood behind the fiery one. “Quilava, can’t you see?” he whispered, “You can’t win. Not now, not under these circumstances. Mewtwo is a convincing speaker. If we gain the help of the natives of this world, we may be able to stop them, but all you’re doing now is just going to hurry you’re execution.”


“Yes! Mewtwo will execute you and all the others against him, as soon as he organizes the other pokemon.”

“Slowking, I really hope we can trust the natives.” Then he spoke aloud, “Okay. It’s the only way. These monsters who captured us won’t acknowledge anything but violent movements. Mewtwo, lead us out of slavery!” The crowd roared with excitement.

The mob began to disperse and Mewtwo walked closer to Quilava and said, “Good choice. You will find my methods as superior to yours. If you want to live I would suggest following me. I will be watching you very closely.”

Quilava nodded in fear. Standing next to Mewtwo, he felt smaller, weaker, and less important. Mewtwo wasn’t the biggest pokemon. There were true monsters like Mamoswine and Tyranitar and Steelix, but Mewtwo had power.

“Psssst.” Quilava looked for the source of the hiss. “Pssssssst.” Again he looked, but couldn’t find it. “Uggh. Over here,” said the voice, aggravated that Quilava couldn’t find it.

“A vulpix? Have I met you before?” asked Quilava.

“No, you haven’t,” said the strange, orange pokemon, “Why the hell did you give up? You had a chance to beat Mewtwo and then you just blew it.”

“I didn’t have a chance. I lost before I even began arguing. I’m going to get help from the natives of this place. Hopefully, it will–”

“Who told you that?! Was it that Slowking?!” Before Quilava could get a word out, she continued her rant, “Ooaahh, I just wanna kill him sometimes! He always gets in the way of everyone who tries to speak against Mewtwo. You know what I think?” Quilava walked away slowly to let her continue complaining on her own, “I think he’s working for Mewtwo…”

What’s her problem, thought Quilava, I need to think over things a little bit. Quilava left to rest in a quieter part of the ship.

4th May 2012, 12:31 PM
THis is neat.
PM rotomknight today

Darth Revan
5th May 2012, 1:32 AM
What’s her problem, thought Quilava, I need to think over things a little bit. Quilava left to rest in a quieter part of the ship.

It's nice but i would suggest putting the thoughts of characters in Italics. just my opinion.

5th May 2012, 2:28 PM
Thanks. And sorry, I put them in italics when I typed it in Word, but I forgot to do it when I copy/pasted it here. I'll fix it.

5th May 2012, 5:04 PM
Good story so far. It's the exposition, so it's a little slow right now, but I'm willing to wait. Is the Mewtwo shiny? Normally Mewtwo's tail is purple.

5th May 2012, 7:41 PM
Yes the Mewtwo is shiny.