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View Full Version : The true history of Hoenn: Introduction



Migi
10th April 2012, 4:54 AM
It all started after the two colossus Pokemon Kyogre and Groundon battled it out and Rayquaza summoned peace to the Hoenn region. Sky tower has crumbled and men are working to build it back to it's former glory.

A young man about 16 named NoteLobo was cleaning up the rubble. He hated the work but hey they were being paid. A couple hours into the clean-up NoteLobo spotted something sitting in a groove in a crack at the base of the tower. It was a light green, blue, and red translucent stone with a pointed tip. Curiosity got the best of NoteLobo so he picked it up and tucked it in his pocket for safe keeping.

After the day was over NoteLobo rode down to Professor Birch, the Pokemon professor of the Hoenn. NoteLobo asked Birch what this stone might be. After hours of analysis he told him that he had no idea what this artifact was. While walking home disappointed, NoteLobo felt like he was being watched. He looked behind him and when he looked up he thought he saw a shape in the distance. Rayquaza. No doubt about it. No one could mistake that figure. NoteLobo looked away and when he looked back the shape in the night was gone. He figured he was seeing things from the hard day of work.

NoteLobo headed to the fossil fanatic the next day. Not that long of a walk really due to the fact that NoteLobo lives in the Soot Mountains. When he walks in with the rock in his hand the man had a spaz attack at the sight of the stone. He told him the whole history to it.

The Stone had the power to control Rayquaza. An switch the control of Rayquaza you have control of Kyogre and Groundon which allows you to control all the land in Hoenn. After this spiel of information NoteLobo was amazed at this stone. The boy ran home the second he heard this. While at home he sat on a ghost cushion and was staring at the stone from a distance.

He could alter the whole Hoenn with this. But he is only a kid. If he wanted to own the Hoenn he had to wait. He had to wait with a plan. And the ultimate Pokemon team.

Forty years have passed since then.






END OF INTRODUCTION.

Migi
10th April 2012, 4:55 AM
All made on my IPod at 10:00 at night hope you enjoy!

Charizardfan900
11th April 2012, 7:40 PM
Ok, very interesting concept.

But this is to short to start with.

Also there is no dialogue, no description and the story is very lacking.

Only the concept has me interested.

Also stories have to be written in microsoft word or similar to that.

Also you must rate your story.

If you haven't already, you should read the rules.

Practice your writing and you will have a story I will give another go because (as I said) I like the idea.

Chibi_Muffin
11th April 2012, 8:40 PM
Seconded. You could describe, for example, what the rubble looks like, how the legendaries fought, and what NoteLobo's work is like, as well as the environment around them - is it a city? What is the weather like? Etc. The scenes with Birch and the fanatic could easily be made with dialogue (you could say what research Birch is doing and any of his theories on it for the former, while you could go further into detail on the legend for the latter). Also, you could describe more how the characters feel, as well as what they look like. And make it much longer, though description would help with that. Also, you really don't want to say the fanatic had a 'spaz attack', it could be seen as offensive. You could use an alternate way to describe how he feels instead.

Koss Birro
6th May 2012, 2:42 AM
I'm with them. I can't wait to see the rest. But next time please give more detail.