View Full Version : Felix the mutant Pikachu-The craziest in the world!

Felix Feral Fezirix
7th May 2005, 3:55 AM
Hi. This is my first fan fic. I've been storing each story in my head for the last few years so it's kinda long. The prologue was made through weeks of nights before falling asleep of contemplation. Any clash with other's stories is entirely coincidental. Hope you enjoy it. Please rate it!

The green Dragon stared at his most favoured subordinate. He had been betrayed. And he was getting retribution. "He hath known the day would cometh, and knew, someday, his death wath nigh..." The rather familiar looking figure stared as remorsely back. For the last 10 years of his little 50 years of his life, he had tolerated. Endured. But he could take no more. He had enough of his master's treachery. And he alone had to oppotunity to have ended it earlier but no, he let it happen, let his heart be broken, he had had it. He charged up and unleashed his ultimate attack...


A blinding flash, and the world was gone...well, almost.

-Prologue 2-
A young girl made her way around the Forest, dressed in a plain white shirt and black long pants. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer. She had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened. But she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.
She would find out the truth today.
As she sauntered uneasily around, she was aware that the place was dark. Very dark. She had even brushed the brown hair out of her eyes just to be sure. Just then, she saw something flash somewhere. She distinctly heard a "Chuuuuuuuuu!" sound. She headed towards the sound, happy to see the most famous and the cutest pokemon in the forest (in her opinion). She absentmindedly brushed away the leaves as she headed towards the light. She didn't bother when her hand brushed against something hard and came away sticky from something. She burst into a clearing and saw...
A Pikachu!
She rushed towards it and hugged it. Just as the Pikachu was about to zap her in defense, it suddenly changed its mind and stood still. She picked the little pikachu up and kissed it. It squirmed and thrashed but she held it still as she headed towards the exit (She knew where it was because the nice trainer had given her a map of the forest and forgot to take it back), talking to it all the while. Just then she heard a buzzing sound. She dropped "dear little pika"(that was what she called it while she was talking to it) and looked around, brown ponytail slapping her back as she did so. Her blue eyes widened. She saw a swarm of Beedrill fly towards her. The Pikachu felt a strong desire to protect the girl and zapped every Beedrill it saw.
It wasn't enough.
Both girl and Pikachu were stung again and again... till all went black.

The girl found herself in a hospital bed, hurting all over, with her mother at the side, sleeping in a chair. Somehow, the woman sensed the girl's awakening and awoke. She gently reprimanded her daughter, but she knew her chiding was just the calm before the storm...
The girl's father burst in.
The girl had never seen her dad so angry before.
He looked like he would burst every blood vessel in his body in a minute.
"How could you wander into the forest without anybody!? Do you know you could have gotten killed!"He raged.
The lecture went on. The volume of his voice ascended every minute.
Then it got violent and hysterical and loud.
The girl screamed.
The mother screamed and pleaded with her husband.
The man was yelling.
The ordeal ended when the nurses and the doctors dragged Ruby out of the room to avoid further disturbance to the patients and mental harm to the girl and the mother. The latter collapsed into a chair and sobbed into her hands. The former hid behind a curtain and cried. She hurt badly. Both physically and mentally. But she was determined to visit "dear little pika" everyday, even if she was beaten up everyday. she would do it persevere...

-A few months later-

The family was leaving Kanto. She had said goodbye to everyone. She had also said goodbye to the nice young woman who had introduced her to Pokemon. But she was still worried. Worried about "dear little pika". She had given him a memento. It was a round pendant. she had broken half of it and given it to "dear little pika" and asked him to keep it safely so that...
"When we see each other again... we'll use this to find each other...okay?"
"dear little pika" had nodded.
"I'll come back for you, someday!"
As girl and pokemon waved good bye, the girl cried. She knew that they would not meet again...

Little did she know she was wrong. They would meet again. And the Pikachu. It did not know of its true potential. But it would be revealed to it...one day. And thus will the world know of the legend of...

Felix the mutant Pikachu!

Also the craziest one of them all.

7th May 2005, 9:15 AM
Ever hear of primer language? It's a way of writing in short, choppy sentences that gets straight to the point and helps readers understand facts much more quickly. While alright in the prolouge, I believe that you did not intend to write in it for the first chapter. Take this for example:

A young girl made her way around the Forest. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer. She had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened. But she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.Very choppy and . . . well, blah sounding IMO.

A young girl made her way around the Forest. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer who had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened, but she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.

Still a choppy first sentence, but you can still combine some sentences with punctuation (commas, semi-colons, etc.). Try not to have just an independant clause (sentences with just a predicate and subject) for sentences like that first sentence. Something like:

A young girl made her way around the forest, eyes cast toward the dirt ground scattered with broken pieces of dry leaves.

You know lol. Perhaps less crappy than that pathetic example I just wrote. By the way, "forest" in that sentence doesn't need to be capitalized since you didn't state what specific forest we were in just yet.

Animals usually run away when something they do not know of comes their way, like wild bunnies and humans. I figure that if something like a Pikachu saw a human, it would either run or fight back and not just stand there. o0 The fact that the girl kinda ran up and smuggled it in love was rather . . . interesting too. o.0 lol.

Now the hospital scene I liked. I liked how you worded it. I think the short sentences really did have some effect. Short and quick, kind of like what I believed to be Ruby's anger managment level. I also like Rinoa's nickname for the Pikachu. "Dear little pika" heh. It's kinda sweet. The pendant thing was nice as well; reminds me of that one Pokémon episode with Jessie and the Blissey. ^_^

Your word choice though, like "reprimanded", doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the story. You write in a somewhat simplistic vocabulary (which is always nice since everyone can understand it and I don't need dictionary.com up lol), so using words like that and "ascended" is rather awkward sounding. Of course, this is just my opinion; you can use all the five-dollar words you wanna. Do not depend on a thesaurus though for you can end up saying something like:

"The veracious mortal perambulated toward his backer and uttered that he was dregs."

Which means:

"The truthful man walked toward his friend and said that he was scum."

See, what sounds better lol? Of course, I was overexaggerating, but you get my point right?

It's an interesting start. I wonder how exactly this mutant Pikachu is coming to be and how it got one hell of a random name, Felix. o.0 Lol, 'tis cool though. It sounds like an insanity fics really. I suppose the "craziest Pikachu" got to me.

Not half bad. I'd defintely give this fic a chance.

LaTeR dAyZ!

7th May 2005, 3:42 PM
I liked this beginning a lot, and I agree with Breezy. Also could you give the characters names? That would make the going smoother and easier to read.

~Skipper~ ;258;

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th May 2005, 3:00 PM
Whee!This is the first chapter. Please tolerate the violence. Please have a sense of humour. Enjoy!

Chapter 1
-The Beginning-
A lone figure walked down the dark streets of Goldenrod. She knew how angry her father would be when she got home. She was soaked in insect repellent after her bug-catching contest. But she didn't catch a single Caterpie. In fact, everybody would keel over the minute she actually caught something.

Because she had no Pokemon.

She felt the bitter taste of defeat in her throat. Her black fringe hid her blood red eyes, which showed disappointment and bitterness. She gripped her plain white shirt tightly. She had been so sure that her Pokedolls would help her catch even one Caterpie. But now, all her efforts were in vain. But it was a bit funny. Who in their right minds would enter the competition without a Pokemon? Rinoa felt tears well up in her eyes. All her pocket money had been spent on Pokedolls and... She felt horrible. Today was the last time she would enter the competition anyway... Tomorrow they were moving to Hoenn anyway. She had hardly handled Pokemon, except when she was 4, when a nice trainer called Yellow had taught how to use Pokemon. She had befriended a Pikachu. Why it hadn't run away when it saw her she had no idea. Yellow had told her it might be because she was born in Viridian. She had no idea what that meant. As she passed by a window, she heard a radio blare a song:

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore...
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before.
She stopped to listen.
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing,
Cuz everyone listens when I start to...Bzaat!Zap!Crackle!

She heard the owner turn it off and curse horribly in words not fit for kiddies' eyes and ears. She walked on and thought. Was she a normal person? She was. What talent did she have? None. Tears began to well up in her eyes but she wiped them away. She was normal. Normal... She began to recall memories. Memories that made her happy.
Just as she was thinking about "Dear little Pika"...Her face bashed into the door and she nearly broke her nose. She gave a little cry of pain (example: Ouch!) but it was minor in contrast to what happened next.

She was standing in front of the front door of her house.

She didn't call it home. It was no home. It wasn't even fit to be called a home to Rinoa. Would you call a place home when you return everyday with a beating in store or when your father gives you a frown all day, like you owe him something, looking as if he is itching to give you a beating? Perhaps not.

The door flung open.

Ruby stood framed in the doorway. Rinoa had never seen him so angry before except the time when she walked into the forest and nearly died of poison stings from Beedrill. She had disrupted a nest of them by accidentally touching the nest as she had headed towards "dear little pika" when she met it for the first time.

"Hi Dad," Rinoa said.

He didn't say anything. He just grasped her by the collar and threw her bodily into the house. He shut the door so hard the door flew off the hinges, broke through the wood frame and flew out into the street, where it was smashed by a car. Rinoa was used to it already. She knew what would happen next. She would find herself in a hospital bed for the next few days with an horrible back injury (in the doctor's opinion, but to her it was normal). As she got to her feet Ruby lashed out at her with his foot, kicking her sideways into the next room, where she skidded violently across the smooth marble floor and
hit the wall. Her mother could only watch as her daughter was tortured. Many people had remarked that Rinoa looked exactly like her, but was slightly alike with her father in temperament. Rinoa heard a poof in the next room and the ground trembled as whatever it was walked into the room. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she thought of what Pokemon would her father unleash on her this time.

Her grandpa's Slaking walked in, disregarding the destruction it was causing in the house. Its head had hit the top of the doorway and effectively turned it into dust when it fell and was stepped on. The marble cracked where it stepped. Her father followed behind.

"Why did you go for the competition?" Ruby said in a barely controlled voice.

"I wanted a Pokemon," Rinoa answered defiantly.

Suddenly she found herself at another wall and her back hurting horribly. She could guess what had taken place. She got to her feet. He withdrew Slaking.

"Why do you keep wanting to have pokemon?" he said threateningly.

"Why won't you give me a Pokemon!?" she shouted back at him.

Ruby grasped Rinoa's collar and threw her against the first wall. It gave way and she found herself sprawling outside, head throbbing and back hurting so much she wanted to scream. But she didn't. She would not give him the satsifaction of making her scream.
Ruby walked out of the hole, ducking a little so that his head would not hit the top of the hole. He was clutching a piece of fabric. Rinoa looked at her shirt and realised her father had torn a small piece of fabric from her shirt. She staggered to her feet.


"Why can't I take part in battles!? Pokemon battles aren't dangerous! There are Pokemon there are cute, like Pikachu-"


"Stop it!Both of you!"

Both father and daughter looked around. Standing a distance away was Rinoa's mother. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Why do you always have to fight everytime? I never see you two smile at each other at all. Everyday both of you return home without a smile on your faces...like sworn enemies. Can't you two make peace with each other? It hurts for me to see the gap between you two widening...and it always looks like I'm the only bridge between you two. Can't you ever sit down and discuss? I wish...that one day the two of you could get along..."
Ruby turned on his heels. Suddenly there was a loud thud. Ruby turned around once again and rushed forward...


In bed...

"Ruby, tomorrow we're moving to Hoenn... and it's Rinoa's tenth birthday... Have you thought of what to give her?"Rinoa's mother said.

"I'll give her the best present ever, in her opinion. I just wonder if I can arrange it on the plane. I'll let her see how hard it is to survive outside. God knows how many more of those lame evil organisations are there. Tons of people die when they go on some lame scheme, like Team Aqua & Magma 20 years ago. How is she anyway?"Ruby asked.

"Fast asleep. She's hurt badly. Do you always have to give her such a violent beating?"

"...We should get some sleep. We're setting off early tomorrow. And--"he whispered the rest to her.Then he went to sleep

She sighed. As her mind drifted off to sleep she wondered what had come over her husband.


The next afternoon...

The truck ran over a hump in the road so hard the truck literally bounced on its axles. Rinoa winced as she jolted forward and then backward, causing her to feel a great deal of pain at her back. She hadn't recovered from her beating yesterday. She said to her mother,"Mum, don't drive so violently. You're killing me. I bet the truck bounced at least a centimeter of the road."

"Don't complain. We'll be there soon. Relax."

"...How do I relax at the back of a truck with a horrible driver and my injured back resting on metal? It hurts you know."

"...Sometimes I wish you were more like me in temperament," her mother said as she absentmindedly drove over another hump at high speed.

Rinoa howled. The pain was getting unbearable.

"Is it really that bad?" her mother asked.

"You bet it is! Try being me."

"Alright. We're there now. I'll let you out now,"the woman said.

"Is there anything actually interesting around here?"Rinoa asked.

"Well, you might like to visit a certain professor that researches Pokemon. He's our next door neighbour.

Her eyes lit up. She wanted to see what Pokemon the professor had. As soon as the door opened, she hopped out and attempted to make a beeline for the professor's house but was thwarted by her mother.

"Not now. We need to unpack and anyway his family and nephew is coming over later. Besides you might disturb any research going on in his lab and cause him trouble, so you're staying at home till they come," her mother said.

"Sheesh," she said, and followed her mother into the house to unpack all the things.


"Whew! Pokemon are so useful. If it weren't for them we would still be unpacking. Right, Rinoa?"

"Yep! Hmm... YOW! Where're my enclyclopedias?"Rinoa shrieked, leaping out of the chair, yell in pain and sit down again.

"I unpacked them,"her mother replied, putting particular emphasis on the word unpacked.

The room was silent for a while. Then...

"Mum, can I have a Pokemon?"Rinoa asked.

Her mother replied,"I don't think so. You see, your dad thinks that you can't handle anything out there--"

"What? Just because I couldn't handle I bunch of Beedrill?But that was ages ago!"Rinoa said, cutting her mother off, feeling anger boil inside her, and leaping out of the chair, ignoring the pain."I'm ten! Everyone who's ten except me has a Pokemon. Even the biggest sissy in the world has a stupid, lousy, idiotic Clefairy! So why can't I have a Pokemon. It's not

"Oh that's only what he thinks," said her mother. "Don't be so muddle headed! Go prove to him you can have a Pokemon! All you need to do is to walk up to him and argue your way into a battle! Simple as that! Now... why don't you go read your enclyclopedias."
Rinoa meekly obeyed and went to her bedroom. When she lay in bed reading her enclyclopedias she realised that her back wasn't hurting anymore. Then she started yelling in response to the pain she felt before she went up to her room.

That night...

Professor Birch sweated. Ruby's daughter was asking a lot of questions he didn't know the answer to.

It was dinnertime at Ruby and his family's new house. The smell was fragrant, the food was delicious, the ambience was great but Professor Birch was busy deflecting a barrage of questions.

Suddenly she asked,"Would it be technically possible for humans and Pokemon(not counting Porygon and Porygon 2) to enter cyberspace physically?" He just said, "Yes, if there is a portal of sorts linking to there. Then finally she stopped her barrage and talked with his nephew instead. He breathed a sigh of relief.
Through her short conversation with the professor, Rinoa could tell all he knew about was Pokemon. If she asked him some sort of question related to Pokemon that even the Science teachers couldn't answer he would answer within a second with confidence. Any other sort of genre and she could hear the lack of confidence in his voice even though he answered just as quickly. Basically, she concluded, he was just a Pokemaniac. It was easy for her to tell what sort of personality a person had. As easily as Pokemon. Over years of luring and attempting to catch more docile Pokemon, she had learnt how to tell a person's or a Pokemon's nature.

She found Brandan more interesting.

He constantly helped his uncle with his fieldwork and thus... He had pokemon powerful enough to blow gym leaders to kingdom come. But he gave them to his uncle for research(How stupid he is, hmm? Tossing away a Dragonite for research?). They talked about a lot of things. He was interesting yes, but he was a bit too loyal for his own good.(In her opinion, that is.)They finished their conversation just as he needed to go to the toilet.

And then she turned and looked at her father.

"Dad, I want to battle you later," she said.

"Later, yes, later..."Ruby said absentmindedly.

Rinoa smirked as she turned away. So did Ruby. He was looking forward to it...

"Argh!" Ruby spilled soup all over himself. Everybody was laughing. He joined in. As she watched him laugh, Rinoa wondered...


Professor Birch and his family had left the house. Ruby glanced into the kitchen where his wife was washing dishes. Then he stiffened his resolve and walked upstairs. He knocked on the door to Rinoa's room and left a few dents on the door.

"Yeah?" He heard his daughter's voice utter the single word in reply to the knock.

He opened the door, shut it and looked at his daughter. She looked surprised.

"What do you want, dad?"she broke the silence.

"It's regarding your birthday present. I've decided to let you go do what you want to do."

She stared at him, mouth open.

"However,"he turned his back on her,"if you want to do so, you must grasp basics,"He put a paticular emphasis on the word basics,"not mere theories, therefore we are going outdoors to conduct a little lesson. So follow me."He left the room.
Suddenly Rinoa's back didn't hurt anymore.

It was chilly. But she was about to start her first Pokemon battle. She felt her back hurt and goosebumps rise up all over her skin. She threw the Pokeball in her hand. So did her father.

Two Charizard faced each other.

"Flamethrower!"ordered Rinoa. She had a grin on her face.

"There's a blind spot in your attack! Move to get a better view like this!"He waited for the attack to stop before giving a command and showing an example of moving to eliminate blind spots.

"Flamethrower!"He ordered, running to the side.

"You're not going to get me! Dragon rage!"

"Oh no!"


As she watched, Rinoa's mother smiled. It was the first time she had seen them have fun together. They're both the same, she thought. They both forgive and forget easily...

Leader of the Band lyrics (edited)
By Dan Fogelburg(But I edited it!)
The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old...
But his blood runs through my pokeball
And his words are in my soul.
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy of the leader of the band.


Both father and daughter were exhausted. Both were still feeling a adrenaline rush.

"I hope now you know how to battle,"said Ruby.

"Yes!"Rinoa gasped.

"Tomorrow I'm going to assume my duties as gym leader. You rest till your back recovers. And then you'll go to Kanto to start your journey. I don't know what you want to be, but you had better come back and beat me!"

"Okay!"she gasped again.

"Now you better go get some rest. It's very late."

"Good night dad."she gasped one more time

"You go sleep well for god's sake! Better enjoy your bed while you still can!"

"Yeah, I know..."she gasped yet again.

A few days later...

The plane interior was cold. Insanely cold. Rinoa thought that she should have worn something thicker to the airport but it
was too late to do anything about it except grin and bear it. The plane was taxiing anyway.
She thought of her mother at
home and knew that she would be lonely. Then she thought about "dear little pika". She hoped she could see it again. She
tightened her grip on the black box she had been holding in her hand all along. Then she opened it. Inside was a broken
pendant. The broken piece was nowhere to be found. She knew it was with "dear little pika". She wanted to find that piece
and "dear little pika". She was going to find out where it was, no matter what the cost...

She would. And the price would not be high.

Song lyrics(Forgot what song it was)
Like the corners of my mind
Misty watercoloured memories,
Of the way we were...
Shattered pictures, like the smiles we left behind.
Smiles we gave to one another,
Of the way we were...

“Thank you for the music” by ABBA

8th June 2005, 8:01 AM
Nice. Really good, except I kinda wanted to see part of the story from "little pika" to see how it was doing. This is getting to be quite an interesting story. Keep up the good work.

Felix Feral Fezirix
13th June 2005, 5:34 AM
Thanks Shiny_Deoxys! Since you extended the goodwill to me I shall return it! *Runs off to read Siny_Deoxys' fic*

Felix Feral Fezirix
13th June 2005, 11:46 AM
Aye aye Cap'n! I'm finally done! Woohoo! I read people's fanfics so much that I forgot to write my own(namely Shiny deoxys and ryman...). Anyway read and comment!

Here comes the main Pokemon! Humour time! I am trying to be deliberately lame here(Lame, geddit!? Mwahaha!). Minor swearing warning! Look carefully and you might find some links to some later events that will be revealed in later chapters. In which chapters that have these links I will not mention, but look carefully(Hint hint. This chapter is the first one). There are two types of censors. ***** type is for vulgar language that is censored in most countries and ^^^^^ type is usually accepted but still undesirable for young children so that why I censor it so that little kids reading don't pick it up and use it and I get blamed. Whee!

Chapter 2
-The craziest Pikachu on earth-

After arriving in Pallet Town two days after she set off from Littleroot airport, which is covered in blotches of paint(pallette! Geddit!?), Rinoa made a beeline for the lab. As she dashed in... she skided on the wet floor and comically flailed in the air and ended up in a heap.

"Whoops! So you're the new trainer! You're early. I expected you at 10. It's now 9. I thought I would clean the place before you came. Hehe!"Professor Green Oak said.

"Whee... It's sooooooo fun falling down,"Rinoa said, voice gushing with as much sarcasm as the amount of water that falls off Niagara Falls in 24 hours and getting off the floor. Blue resisted the temptation to yell about the human shaped imprint Rinoa left on the wet floor and winced visibly with each step she took, which left black footprints all over the floor.

"So you want a Pokemon?"Green said, controlling his tone carefully. He took the time to study the girl. She was not tall, yet not short. She was not thin, but not fat either. A bandanna was tied on her head. He bet she might be mistaken for a pirate if the bandanna completely covered her black fringe. He mused that she might be asked to play pirate with the kids if it did. Her hair was cropped short at the back. Her eyes glowed with such radience that if the sun ceased to exist you could yank her eye out and make do with it. She was just entering puberty. He could see that she was excited. She was wearing a shirt and bike shorts, as well as white gloves tipped with black. Her shoes were one of the new running shoes made by Devon. Ruby had stretched his connections just to get a pair. She was treading carefully so as not to slip. Finished with his observation and just reaching the door he wanted to go through, he turned left and walked into the door. Biting his tougue before he could curse(there's a kid around!), he opened the door and walked in, careful not to damage anymore of his dignity as he ambled in. Rinoa followed.
"There's only one Pokemon here that's left. All the other trainers picked the others. I had to prepare for the last minute. There's only one left in. I gotta warn you, it's one troublemaker. Going through my books, wrecking my library... Oh it's the very definition of trouble all right. That *******..."

As Green babbled on about the irritating pokemon while looking for the pokemon's pokeball("It likes to jump in and out of its pokeball as it pleases. Nothing I can do about it,"Green had mentioned), Rinoa muttered under her breath,"I never liked libraries anyway. Let's see if I can take out his library before I leave with my pokemon."

Suddenly Green said,"Well, I've found its pokeball. It should be inside. I threatened to not let any trainer have a chance to pick him again if he dares run off. It's the biggest woogieman I have over him. I use it rarely. Let's see..." He walked over to a machine with the pokeball in hand. It looked like a plastic cage. Rinoa s******ed. What would the professor do to the pokemon? "I want to prevent him from going nuts, so I'm putting him in this machine so that he can't raise hell while I introduce you to him." Rinoa smirked.

"The last time he did that he turned this building into smoke. Let my Charizard loose and taunted him into Hyper Beaming the building. At least that's what I think," he put a emphasis on "think", "happened. I was coming back from buying groceries when I saw him on the ground, my Charizard in the sky and charging a Hyper beam. ^^^^^^^ that idiot!" Rinoa was close to bursting out with laughter, but she held it back. He placed the pokeball in a slot slightly underneath the center of the cage and pressed a button as Rinoa looked on eagerly, forgetting about laughing. The pokeball seemed to take a google years to reach the base of the cage in the glass. "So far so good," Green muttered, training his eyes on the ball. Rinoa stifled the desire to reply, "I heard that." Green hit another button.

The pokeball opened...

The plastic shattered.

Instantly a box appeared. It sat there, unmoving. There was a crank in the side. And obviously it was too big for the cage or the glass wouldn't have shattered.

"That's my pokemon?"Rinoa thought, surprised.

"I told it not to leave the pokeball but it doesn't listen! Ah well, I get him when he comes back. We'll go catch another pokemon. Let's see what he left in the box," Green said.

Rinoa felt like punching that pokemon in the face. She had been looking forwand to burning the professor's library down.

Just then...

"AIIIYEEEEEEEEE!******* bug! Yah! Ah! NOOOO! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Green then screamed like a sissy as a really cute butterfree doll chased Green around the room, occasionally touching him. Rinoa slipped and fell on the wet floor, landing on her butt, then she started rolling on the floor, laughing all the while, tears streaming out of her eyes. The source of the commotion came from the hook in the doll attached to a string attached to a rod held by two yellow hands sticked out the box. The pokemon was twitching inside the box and the box vibrated violently. There must have been a 12.9 on the Richter scale boxquake in the box. The pokemon had enough talent to laugh uncontrollably while chasing the professor with a Butterfree on a string. He was full well demonstrating how much mayhem he could cause. It wasn't even a fraction of what he could do. Soon enough, unable to control his laughter anymore, he dropped the rod and twitched so much the box fell from the machine and the pokemon tumbled out of the box, revealing itself to be a Pikachu. It had a calendar in its hand and had tears streaming out of his eyes. It landed right next to its future trainer and rolled around in perfect synchonisation with her. The professor, recovering from shock, dragged Rinoa to her feet and kicked the Pikachu such that he banged his head into the wall. The Pikachu hopped up, leapt onto the broken machine and glared at the professor with such fury that when converted to heat could fry an egg in an instant. The professor stared back and said, "Why did you do that?" in a very calm, controlled voice. Breaking the stare, the Pikachu smirked and whipped out the calendar. He pointed at a date. 1st April. Also known as (Also known as a.k.a) April fool's day. He waited for the professor's reaction.

He anime-fell.

It was enough to start another round of laughter from Rinoa and the Pikachu until he got up from the ground.

"ANYWAY," the professor yelled, trying to cover the sound of their laughter and releasing his anger from falling prey to a April fool's trick, "WE NEED TO DEAL WITH FORMALITIES NOW!" The laughter continued. "NOW!!!!", he yelled again, eyes bulging, about to lose his temper.

The laughter stopped.

"That's better," he said. "Anyway, Rinoa, this is your pokemon. It's ---"

"A Pikachu. I know. Thank you very much." Rinoa said sarcastically. She was trying to stop laughing and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Now, you lousy ^^^^^^^ ******* pikachu, this is your new trainer. This might be your new trainer if she likes you." the professor said, clearly ignoring the fact that he had been swearing throughout the last 10 minutes with a child around. If the Pikachu had a mouth he would have said, "Of course she will. Better than you you lousy stuck up ol' losar." Rinoa could tell just by looking at his eyes. For some reason she didn't know, she could read his thoughts by concetrating on him.

"Anyway, Rinoa, why don't you carry your pokemon. We're going to another room to register you as a trainer." He watched as the Pikachu charged electricity in its pouches. The trainer didn't seem to notice. He smirked. This time it was his turn to enjoy a joke. He turned, expecting a horrified scream to sound behind him and the Pikachu dropped on the floor. He decided not to s****** yet.


Rinoa picked up the Pikachu and cuddled it close to her. Just as the Pikachu was about to unleash his deadly trick on his trainer, he found his nose pressed against her skin for an instant. In that instant, he smelt her scent and was surprised to find it familiar. Mermories floated back from both recent and distant pasts for that one moment, then it was gone. Rinoa felt some long memory from some where float into her mind in that instant. Memories she didn't recall having. Before she could control herself, she murmured, "I'll call you Felix. Felix..." The Pikachu snuggled into her chest.

Just then she heard footsteps and saw that the professor had left the room and followed. Meanwhile the Pikachu released its discharge while she wasn't looking. The duo followed him into another room. Green, feeling slightly disappointed that the trainer didn't get zapped, waited for the duo to enter before diverting his attention to the giant machine that nearly filled the room. He hit a button and the screen lit up.

"Now this is where we issue trainer cards, pokedexes, trainer card readers, register you as a trainer and the like. Your trainer card is a very important thing. Card readers can be bought, pokedexs can be replaced. But trainer cards are like ID cards. They also contain any money you get from defeating gyms, given by your parents, winning battles and contests and competitions and the like. They also are some sort of email account. If your parents or other trainers send you a message you will be notified the next time you read your card which should be quite often. If it's just text that it will show up on the reader. Otherwise you have to head to a pokemon center or a lab or a police center or a phone booth to get and receive messages and packages your parents or other trainers-- ah anyone--" Green said, exasperated, with a red face, clearly out of breath,"sends you. It's free at all of the abovementioned places except at phone booths. Basically, that's it. If you lose your card you have to report it ASAP before someone uses it. Now we'll carry on with procedures." The professor started typing rapidly on a keyboard, hit a few buttons, asked Rinoa to put her thumb on a pad to read fingerprints and then ordered her out while he finished registering her. In the meantime the duo hatched a plot...

Felix and Rinoa walked out of the lab. Rinoa was giggling. Felix had a very human-like smirk on his face. The professor would have a big shock when the homemade explosive detonated. Felix messed about with the professor's books so much that he had learned to read, write and listen to over 10 different languages, as well as learning how to hack, how to rig an explosive, nuclear warfare, how to handle weapons, and a variety of subjects that enhanced the brainy pikachu's knowledge.

Felix lifted his palm and counted down with his fingers as he stood on Rinoa's shoulder, looking back at the lab, camcorder in hand.


Rinoa's giggles became more violent. It nearly threw the crafty pikachu off her shoulder.


Felix clung on to the back of Rinoa's shirt and hopped back onto her shoulder, fingers still stuck valiantly into the air, his other hand clutching the camcorder tightly, taping the lab.


Rinoa started running with the 6-kg load on her shoulder, trying to keep her shoulders steady so as not to disrupt the filming.


She stopped and turned around, clutching the pikachu at the same time to prevent him from falling. The camera remained steady as the camerapikachu used superior acrobatics to balance on its toes with a camcorder in its hand.


The duo tensed...


The library was going up in flames. Rinoa gaped open-mouth at the sheer force of the explosion. Felix stopped recording, hopped down, placed the camcorder on the ground. There was a note on it.

It said: This is your camera. There is a tape inside. Look what we have done to yo library. P.S. Libraries ****. Never build another one again or we will be forced to take it out again.

The part of the building containing the library burned down as the library terminators struted off.

A while later Rinoa's mother in Hoenn heard someone yell faintly,"^^^^ those ^^^^^^^ ******* duo!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Rinoa and her new pokemon were walking down route 1. Rinoa was trying to grapple with the new items she had received. Felix was playing with the new whiteboard Rinoa had bought for him.

"Erm, pokedex, er, where's the instruction sheet, Ow I dropped the pokedex again!"Rinoa said as she dropped the pokedex for the millionth time in half an hour. Felix was giving his eyes exercise by rolling them. Sonic the hedgehog met his match in the speed of the rotating eyeballs of the pikachu. Finding the instructuion sheet, Rinoa read it. "Erm... press the button after aiming the pokedex at the target. How about that rock?"she said as she pointed the pokedex at a rock and pressed the button. The screen remained blank.

Unable to resist any longer, the pikachu leapt onto the back pouch Rinoa was carrying, took out super glue and glued a sturdy branch he broke with thundershock to the whiteboard and wrote,"Point it at a pokemon for goodness sake! Even a turkey could figure that out!" and lifted it high for Rinoa to see(From this point on, I will just say wrote/write.). She pointed it at the pikachu and hit the button. The result was stupid. Freaked out by the sudden reading out of data from the pokedex, Rinoa dropped the pokedex again and Felix anime-fell as a result. Humiliated, the girl put the device into the pouch and drew out her trainer card and card reader. Using her common sense, she slotted the card through the only card slot right at the top at the device and anticipated a sudden voice emerging out of the speakers at the side. As she anticipated, a voice said,"You have one new message. Receive it at the receiving locations."

"There must be a parcel," Rinoa muttered. Seeing a phone booth nearby, she walked towards it. Meanwhile she looked at the device. There were some buttons on the device. Five buttons were laid out on the top horizontally. They said Inbox, Read, Reply, Delete, Write. Below that were four buttons, bearing the symbols of play, stop, pause, record. Below that was a pad with arrows similar to those found on some handphones and a number pad that was exactly the same as the kind on handphones. At the left side of the arrow pad were two buttons, money and transfer. On the other side there was a button and a small screen. The button said Random number. There was a projection machine built into the blue device. I'll find out more about these buttons later, she thought.
Just then she nearly ran into the booth itself. It was nearly as big as an ordinary phone booth. Placing the reader into her pouch and holding on to her card tightly, she opened the door and walked in, nearly shutting the pikachu out. She shut the opaque door behind her and looked at the opaque walls. Light filtered into the room through the glass ceiling. The booth was soundproof. Oxygen entered through a special machine that reduced vibration in the air that goes into it. She looked at the phone. There was a screen at the top, a number pad below it, a card slot that read trainer cards, phone cards and credit cards, a slot for coins, and two empty spaces at the bottom. One was slightly bigger than the largest size of parcel (which was about as large as a CPU) allowed for postage and one looked like a pokeball slot. The screen flickered and lighted up as the sensor on the yellow floor detected the pressure of her feet on the floor. The screen said,"Either pick up receiver and deposit coin or place credit card or trainer card or phone card in slot to call or place trainer card in slot to receive messages". She slid her card through the slot. The screen flickered. "You have one new message," the screen said. "Press ok to read. Amount will be deducted from card." She hit the button on the touch screen.
The screen flickered again. It now showed her mother speaking. It was a video message.

"Rinoa, I know you are reading this message now. I don't know where you are, but I want you to know that we miss you. Don't get into any more trouble. The professor just called saying that you burnt his library down. I admit it was quite funny but you could get into a lot of trouble. Fortunately the professor was nice enough to let it slide. Your father got ahold of some very special items that he wanted you to have. He also got you another pokemon for god knows what reason. I've also sending another set of clothes and a pokegear so that we can call you whenever we want to get in touch. Do your best in whatever you want to do okay? For now you could hang around Kanto and check out the pokemon and people around. You can learn a lot more about pokemon that way. Well, good bye and have fun! Call me with your pokegear when you get this message or when you have time!" The screen went blank and a gigantic parcel and a pokeball dropped out of the slots. Rinoa stood there in a daze. Suddenly she came to her senses and realised that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. Wiping away her tears, she grabbed the parcel and found it very heavy. She just managed to drag it outside and Felix helped carry the pokeball out. Once outside Rinoa was just about to open the parcel when she heard a loud and shocked "Pi pika chu cha!!??" emerge from the pikachu. She turned to face the pokemon. With his trusty signboard, he proceeded to explain his sudden outburst, complete with punctuation marks.

It said:"Your father sent you a Torchic! Torchic do not reside in Kanto. According to Pokemon league rulebooks you need to be a previous or current league champion or understudy to be able to have the privillege to have pokemon in your party that do not reside in the particular region. Otherwise you will have to apply for a temporary pass for contests or competitions or buy a permanent pass which costs a pretty penny. Your parents must be rich."

"No,"Rinoa replied. "Let's give it a name."

She released the Torchic. "Tor?" said the Torchic, confused.

"It's saying 'What?'"Felix wrote.

"Why don't you talk to it while I get everything into the bag,"she said.

Felix looked at her, confused. Then he turned and talked to the torchic.

She turned away and opened the parcel and put on the pokegear and put the rest of the things inside into her bag. Unfortunately it was too big and she had to use the shrinking and expanding device they stole from Green and then everything fit. All the while she was crying.

Thank you, Mum and Dad, she thought as she put everything away into her bag. Wiping her tears away, she turned.

"Now, what should I call you?" she mused aloud. The pokemon stopped talking.

"She's a girl," Felix wrote.

Rinoa pointed the pokedex at the torchic and hit the button. The Torchic decided to move just then and the pokedex went blank. Felix told the Torchic to stop running. She stopped.
"I'll just call you Chick!" Rinoa decided as she pocketed the pokedex.

"Chick!"Chick said happily. Rinoa smirked and withdrew the Torchic. Felix wrote, "I name you, you name me, all of us are namertrees," and Rinoa bashed him over the head.
Then they moved on when Felix suddenly and literally raised a question.

"What are we gonna do?" he asked.

"Well..."She hesitated then said, "I dunno."

Felix anime-fell and flipped himself back up again.

"But we might as well go defeat the gym leaders for fun," she said.

Felix got into position and started doing push-ups.

"Just walk and quit doing weird stuff!" she yelled at the Pikachu. He obeyed.

Just then, they saw a bunch of children Rinoa's age wandering around. They ran behind them when they spotted them.

"Please help us!" a boy said. Rinoa was puzzled.

"Help you what?"

"Get us to Viridian!"

"Can't you just walk 7km? we've walked 5km out of 12."

"We're scared of the wild pokemon."

"Don't you have pokemon?"

"No! They were taken!"

"What! By whom?"


"Him who?"

"There! He's coming!"

"Wahhhh!" all the children yelled. Rinoa just narrowed her eyes. They’re so childish! She thought.

"Let's run away before he comes and takes away your pokemon and money in a battle!" a girl said.

"I'll beat him to a pulp!" Rinoa said.

"He's got evolved pokemon! You're no match!" the girl replied.

"Mwahaha!"A man in scruffy clothes appeared."Give me your money and pokemon before you lose horribly!" the man said.

"Not in a million years!" Rinoa scoffed.

"Talking big, eh?" the man said, smirking.

"No," Rinoa replied."Let's have a bet. You win, you can take my pokemon and money and kill all of us. You lose, you leave the pokemon you took and give me all your money."

"Fair enough!" he said.

“Hold it! You’re betting our lives too!!!” the rest yelled.

“I’ll beat him, just wait!” Rinoa said confidently.

“Well if you say so, then…”

“Let it rip!!!” Felix wrote on the board. Rinoa bashed him on the head just as it began.

13th June 2005, 9:31 PM
Very good.
I liked that chapter the best of all, mostly because it was funny and I laughed reading it. I love Felix's personality, it makes me laugh. I feel sorry for Green, I can tell he is probably going to get a beating in the future. Smart with how you communicate through Felix. The end seemed a little rushed, but other than that it was a great chapter. You read my novels, I read yours. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Felix Feral Fezirix
15th June 2005, 3:10 AM
Yar. I was reading other people's fics and forgot to write my own! *Shudders* Anyway thanks for dropping by and reading and giving comments. This post was edited due to inability to double post. Haha. Crossover quote and move here. Clue: Both are from a Sonic game. If you know which game it's from, who said/did it, and when PM me. Closest answer is the winner! Winner gets a minor, lame character in upcoming chapters.

Chapter 3
-Red's near loss-

"Go! Charmeleon, Wartortle, Ivysaur!"the man yelled.

Three pokeballs flew out and unleashed the three pokemon.

"Go Chick, Felix!" Rinoa yelled as she threw a pokeball. Felix rushed in front with his signboard. He scribbled on the board and threw it backwards. It landed at Rinoa's feet and read: "Okay! Time to fight!"

The Torchic appeared right beside the Pikachu. It exhaled a little fire and got ready to showdown.

"Hey! You big bully! You actually need 3 evolved pokemon to take out one basic pokemon!? You're useless!"Rinoa said to the man.

Felix grabbed his board and wrote, "Zeusless, you mean."

"Scared?" the man said tauntingly.

"Of course not!" Rinoa replied.

"Wartortle, Surf! Charmeleon, Ember! Ivysaur, Razor Leaf!" The attacks mixed to make one big wave of blue and red, with some parts white due to the embedded razor leaves. Rinoa could actually feel the opponent's pokemon grinning, smirking and determination to win. Well, I won't let them have their way, she thought.

"Thunderbolt, Ember!"Rinoa issued a command right back, fully unaware that Felix couldn't have learnt Thunderbolt at his level and would ignore the command. At least, that's what the man and the other children thought. Chick unleashed a flurry of fireballs and Felix fired thunderbolts which mixed into the Ember attack. The result was a gigantic explosion that threw everybody backwards. As everyone got to their feet they saw a badly injured Ivysaur and Torchic staggering, a Charmeleon and a Wartortle covered in bruises and a Pikachu bouncing energetically like a professional boxer, with absolutely no injures on it at all.

As everyone was gazing around in shock(including the man and the pokemon) Rinoa issued another command.

"Ember! Thunder!" Chick shot a few dozen pellets at the Ivysaur which caught it unawares and knocked it out. Then Chick collapsed.

Meanwhile Felix was starting a full-fledged thunderstorm(without the rain) and was zapping the Wartortle into soot-black piles of garbage. The Wartortle collapsed before the last one reached him. The man recovered after seeing two of his pokemon being downed. Now it was truly one-on-one.

"Charmeleon, Fire slash! Maximum speed!"

Flames burst from the Charmeleon's claws as it charged at 50km/h at the Pikachu.

Somehow, Rinoa could sense the desperation in Charmeleon.

It was over in a second.

There was a loud thump as two things hit the ground simultanously, one steaming.
"That was great Felix!"Rinoa complimented her pokemon as they walked out of Route 1 into Viridian city.

"Don't mention it," the recipent replied on his signboard.

At that critical moment, Felix had leapt into the air and bounced down so hard on the Charmeleon's skull it forced the Charmeleon's face into the ground and its claws into its face, leaving it steaming and unconscious, skull fractured.

Rinoa took out her Torchic's pokeball and said," You did great too."

"Toooorchicccc......." The pokemon said, exhausted.

"Guess we have to spend the night here... no wait!"Rinoa said excitedly."Let's go visit Miss Yellow! She'll heal Chick in a jiffy!" Having finished, she sped towards the heart of the city using her running shoes. Felix carried Chick on his head and pursued his trainer and caught up.

"Do you have an inkling if she's moved? Or has she married?" Felix wrote on his board.
Rinoa came to a screeching halt and Felix had to stop and run back to his trainer, together with Chick, which had fallen off Felix's head.

"Well, erm... ahhh... no," Rinoa said uncertainly and her pokemon anime-fell.

"Honestly, couldn't you have told us earlier?" Felix wrote as he and Chick got to their feet."We wouldn't have to rush around. Anyway, you're as dumb as a rock. I'm amazed you can actually find your way around."

Rinoa proceeded to layth the smackdownth on her pokemon in anger. Chick watched with anime-drops of sweat on the back of her red head the severe beating up of the Pikachu.

After Rinoa was done with beating him up, Felix, despite the many bruises and cuts inflicted on him, wrote while Rinoa turned and walked towards Yellow's house,"She is definitely a rock. Stupid but packs a punch." Chick rolled her eyes and followed after her trainer. Felix followed, limping behind.


*Ding dong!*

"Who might that be?"A woman with blond hair, a sweet voice and eyes like raisins said. She walked over to a device near and said into it,"Hello, this is Viridian Daycare center.
“What can I--"

"Whoops, looks like we got the wrong place guys."A girl's voice cut in before the woman had finished."Maybe Miss Yellow did move."

Suddenly the woman had a flash of a memory 6 years ago or so, but she could not put her finger on what was so familiar.

There was a loud scraping sound outside and the voice said again,"I'll try. And stop scratching the wall with your signboard. You'll damage it. Hello, is Miss Yellow there?"

"Yes,"the woman replied. It must be another fan, she thought. I only defeated the Elite four with everybody's help but I'm famous. She sighed.

"Great! I think we've got the right place. Can I see her?"

"I suppose you can, seeing that she runs the daycare,"Yellow said as she opened the door.
Out in the sunlight stood Rinoa with dirt and dust all over her after her scuffle with Felix. A white Felix stood beside her on crutches. Chick was panting and looked exhausted.

"Oh my! What have you got into? You look like a mess!"Yellow exclaimed.

"I beat up my Pikachu because he was ^^^^ naughty and my Torchic got injured in a battle,"Rinoa explained sheepishly.

"Why don't you come in and rest while I heal up your pokemon?"Yellow said.

"I think 7 years made you forget all about me."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I'm Rinoa, Miss Yellow. I moved to Johto 7 years ago... You said I could drop by anytime for a visit so... here I am." Rinoa finished somewhat lamely.

A flash of realisation flickered over Yellow's face. 7 years ago... Back then she was 23.
She met Rinoa, who was so interested in the Ratatas running around, the Pikachus going wild once in a while, the occasional Caterpie or Weedle that made the trip from the forest to the city alive. She made friends with her and brought her on an excursion into the forest once. It made her happy. She also wanted to see a Pikachu but they would always run away before they were sighted. In fact she liked Pikachus a lot. Once she made her way into the forest herself. It ended in a huge family quarrel and made her want to go back into the forest. Then Rinoa told Yellow about what she was going to do and Yellow had helped her by giving her pokedolls before she set off to distract any hostile pokemon she might encounter. She kept bringing back a certain Pikachu from the forest. Apparently it had taken a liking to her when they met. It didn't run away from her like the other pikachu. And apparently it had protected her from the beedrill shortly after that. Yellow had brought this up to Green, who was still doing reseach on the phenomena after 7 years. In the end, when she had to leave she was sad. Because she had to leave the Pikachu. She kept calling it "dear little pika" as a pet name.

Felix looked at Yellow. Somehow, she seemed familiar. So was Rinoa. And somewhere, another memory of another Rinoa wearing different clothes appeared vaguely for a moment before disappearing.

"Go take a bath while I heal your pokemon, Rinoa. Get all that dirt and dust off you, you're dirtying the center. Some pokemon are really sensitive to dirt and dust and it might affect them. The layout of the house hasn't changed except a few rooms out back to simulate different surroundings for different pokemon," Yellow said.

"Okay,"Rinoa said as she headed for the bathroom.

Yellow took a look at Chick and at Felix and decided to heal the latter first.

"Remove all your bandages and sit on that sofa,"Yellow commanded.

Felix limped over to the sofa and jumped so that he could sit on it. Next, he removed the bandages and dropped the crutches. The injuries that Yellow saw made her jaw drop in amazement.

Felix was no longer yellow and black. He was black and blue all over except for some small streaks of red here and there. Controlling herself, Yellow stretched out a hand towards Felix and closed her eyes. A soft hum echoed throughout the quiet room and Felix closed his eyes as the injuries began to heal. His body began to return to its original colour. The scratches closed and the blood vanished. The broken leg mended. In a minute, Felix was healed. He leapt down from the sofa and started jumping around. Meanwhile Yellow placed Chick on the sofa and healed it too. In a moment the pokemon were energized. But they were hungry. She made them wait till Rinoa came out of the bath then they all ate lunch together. Just then a difficulty presented itself in the form of Felix being picky about his food.

"I don't want this pokechow,"he wrote."I want the pikachu blend!"

"Don't be picky, just eat,"Rinoa replied.

"Easy for you to say,"Felix retorted defiantly."Look at your food!"

She did. There were all sorts of delicacies from all over the globe, from Sharpedo's fin soup, Clambalone, a small portion of Black Pepper Kingler to a giant plate of Spice-a-Spoink(all fake of course, Yellow would never take it lying down if they were real).
"I wish I could eat those,"Felix wrote."You humans get ta eat way more than us. It's unfair."

"It's fake anyway," Yellow said.

"Yeah, but it tastes better than this pokechow." came the reply.

Chick nudged her new buddy and whispered something.

"You like it, I don't." Felix stated flatly. "I'm Pikachu, you're Torchic. We're different."

"I wish I could just evolve him so that he shuts the ^^^^ up," Rinoa whispered to Yellow.

The latter sighed and said, "Well, you sit on the chair and eat and let's see how it tastes."

"Good idea," came the reply, stopping the argument between the two pokemon. He hopped onto the chair, took a bite out of the Clambalone and wrote, "What the ****, human eat this ^^^^!? ^^^^, this tastes worse than that stupid ******* pokechow *********!" It earned him a beating from all present and he was thrown out of the house via a Double Kick attack initated by Chick in her anger. After that she took a peck out of her pokechow and used Double Kick alternately, testing out her new
move while the two humans watched and ate at the same time.


As a man wearing a red cap, black shirt, red and white coat and blue trousers approached the daycare center, he saw a Pikachu with a collection of injuries on the gravel outside the boundaries of the fence outside the house itself lying spreadeagled and holding a signboard that said, "Screw all of them!" He picked the little guy up and walked up to the door and pressed the bell while inspecting the pikachu-shaped hole in the door.


"Who could that be?" said Yellow as she answered the door."Hello, Viridian Daycare center-"

"Cut that short, Yellow, and just lemme in," a voice cut Yellow short for the second time in a day. She looked irritated.

"^^^^, do you always have to do that? It's irritating," Yellow answered as she opened the door. "It's enough having two people cut me short and one irritating pikachu being picky."

The door opened and the man stepped in. "Are you referring to this guy?" he said.

"Yeah," Rinoa answered from the table. Yellow glared at her, angry at the rudeness.

"He was holding a very interesting sign. It said: Screw all of them!"

"Red, would you mind helping me beat the ^^^^ out of the guy? I'll really appreciate it. I really do," Yellow said.

Felix broke out in cold sweat and wrote,"I'm innocent!"

"^^^^ yeah you're innocent," said his trainer, standing up. "Hey Chick, let's go bash him."

Minutes later, Rinoa's mother in Hoenn could faintly hear a Pikachu howl.

After the short bashing session a photo had been taken of Felix in all his injured glory. Then Yellow healed him and he was currently taking a nap, relieved that he was out of torture. The rest were playing Pokepoly. Chick was sleeping too, using her trainer's lap as a bed while she played the game. After the game they went around(Chick had woken up) and looked at some of the pokemon that were prancing around. There was a couple of Pidgey singing choir-style and a Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee sparring. Chick ran towards Hitmonlee and started to imitate Hitmonlee's kicks. Just then, Red had an idea.

"Hey, I've an idea," he said. "How about Rinoa and I spar and I can give her some pointers?"

She immediately replied,"Okay!"

"But we have to wait till your Pikachu wakes up," Red said. "I want you to use both our pokemon and I'll use one of mine."

"No need to wait," Yellow said. "Look there."

They looked.

Felix took a running start and dropkicked the two fighting pokemon in the face and proceeded to layth the smackdownth on them. The two pokemon then crawled into a corner and nursed their injuries. Yellow ran towards them and healed them.
Meanwhile Felix was put into a stranglehold by his trainer as they walked out of the house to have a match. Yellow watched from inside the house from an open window. The pokemon running around kept well clear of the battle field.

"Gyarados!" Red shouted as he threw the ball.

"Felix!" The Pikachu hopped forward and bounced like a professional boxer.

The gigantic Gyarados appeared. Undaunted, the little guy took advantage of his five fingers on each hand to make an incredibly rude sign. If they weren't in a battle, Felix would get another beating he would never forget.

"Gyarados, Dragonbreath!"

"Felix, Thunderbolt!"

The thunderbolt appeared first and hit Gyarados in the stomach. It howled in pain, and unleashed its pain and fury in its attack. It went far and wide.

"Gyarados, control yourself and use Rage!"Red yelled. Sweat beads appeared on his forehead.

Rinoa and Felix threw themselves flat on the ground to avoid the attack. She could sense the surprise in Red as well as the Gyarados, but didn't know why.

"Thunderpunch!" Felix seized the chance to punch the location where the crotch should be on a Gyarados if it were human. Gyarados screamed in pain.

"Earthquake!" He followed his trainer's command, unleashing his pain and anger once more. Rinoa fell back and bashed her head on a rock. Blood streamed from her head as she struggled to stand after the powerful attack. Felix was stumbling like he was confused.

"Return!" Felix returned to his pokeball and didn't attempt to come out. She held it tightly in her hand as she threw another one.

"Chick!" The Torchic hopped out, ready to battle.

"Hydro pump!" The jet of water missed the pokemon but hit the girl, throwing her back. Her back hit the fence. Chick turned and looked at her trainer, confused. Gyarados took the chance to blast the little chick with a devastating Hydro pump and it flew backwards and landed beside its trainer.

"Tor...?"It said as it pressed against its trainer and fainted.

"Return..."Rinoa said weakly. She could hardly stand. Blood was dripping onto the ground from the back of her head. The fence was bloody from her blood. She could sense that Gyarados was worn out. Yeah, but I'm worse off, she thought. I'll take a shot!

"Felix, go!" She yelled at the top of the voice, trying to get rid of the nervewracking pain.

Yellow looked at her with concern but she ignored her. "Thunderpunch!"

"Don't let them Gyarados! Hyper Beam!" Red said, showing no mercy.

Yellow watched in horror as Gyarados unleashed his deadly payload towards the pokemon and his trainer. It was too late for her to do anything now except watch.

Rinoa ran, picked up Felix and shielded him from the beam as it hit them.


As the dust cleared, the first visible thing was a signboard that said, "Game over? You ^^^^ right we're over!"

21st June 2005, 7:12 AM
Nice. This chapter is really realistic, like a pokemon battle should be, though a little violent, but we are talking Gyarados here. Very descriptive, and I like how things are going on. Though I can't tell what is going to happen next, I can tell you are not going to let us down.

Felix Feral Fezirix
21st June 2005, 6:38 PM
I'll reveal something: The thing you're3 waiting for appears in next chapter. And the last line was from a card in WWE trading card game from HHH. If you understand, okay. If not bleahz. A blood bank will be compulsory after the battle, I can tell you that.

Felix Feral Fezirix
23rd June 2005, 2:11 PM
You’ll discover the mini identity of a major character in this chapter. Have fun reading! And here comes:

Chapter 4
-“Dear little pika”-

The dust settled and Red saw the Pokemon and his trainer behind a Light Screen.

“I may be too late to shield my trainer but I shielded myself!” wrote Felix. “I’m gonna whack you in the crotch again, just you wait, and layth the smackdownth on you too, just you wait, and make you cry too, just you wait, and-”He paused to rub off his words to write more. “Screw you too, just you wait, and play my acoustic guitarrr till yer yers break, just you wait and ^^^^ yeah I’ll kick yer *** so hard you’ll kiss the moon too, just you wait, and you gonna wish you’d never been born, just you wait and-”

“Do me a favour and shut the ^^^^ up about the just you waits or your marker’s gonna run out of ink, just you wait and before you begin to attempt to beat the living crap out of me-”Red was cut off by the signboard being raised.

“Yeah you gonna more crap when I beat the crap out of you mon, just you wait-”

“JUST SHUT THE **** UP ABOUT THE JUST YOU WAITS, WILL YOU?” Red yelled, angry. “You’re out and that’s it!”

“Aww ^^^^ no I ain’t done yet mon, just you wait, I’ll show you-”

Red controlled his voice as he talked to the Pikachu. “You’re out.”

“Why, Mr. Have-to-use-Hyper-Beam-to-defeat-us-weakling?”

Yellow tensed as she thought Red would give the little guy the finger.

He controlled himself and said, “Your trainer is out cold. According to league regulations-”

“Ahha!” came the triumphant word. “That’s the plan, huh? Knock out my trainer and say I win you loossse huh? Dun crap wif mi man, I kick yer *** to da moon I tell ya, mwahaha, losar!” The guy laughed and rolled about on the floor.

Red was about to reply when Yellow said, “Alright, that’s it! Keep arguing and someone’ll die. Shut up already!” as she ran out of the house towards the girl.

The two arguing turned. The Pokemon ran to his trainer and snapped to attention. The other withdrew his Gyarados which looked very angry and ran over to the girl lying on the ground.

The evening sun was setting. Yellow watched the sun set from a window on the second floor as well as watching Rinoa and her Pikachu and her Torchic catch some Pokemon near the grass patch near the Pokemon league Headquarters (Her house was near the patch). She sighed as she thought about all that had happened that day.

They had carried her inside the house and Felix grabbed ahold of two Zubat from the dark room and asked if they needed blood for Rinoa. Yellow had said no although she was not sure. She wanted to send her to the hospital but Red said she would be fine. Instead of her bandanna, she was now wearing a bandage around her head. She had changed out of the clothes she had been wearing and was now wearing a loose shirt and loose shorts that she had brought. Yellow looked down at the area where the battle had taken place and grimaced. She would have to repaint the fence where the blood was. The two Zubat that Felix had grabbed just now were now outside licking up Rinoa’s blood from the grass, not minding the light. Just then the bell rang and Yellow answered the door. Rinoa was back from catching Pokemon. There was a mountain of pokeballs in her hands and even Felix and Chick were kept busy holding the pokeballs. Actually Chick just kicked them around.

“I caught all these…”Rinoa panted as she heaved the pokeballs onto the table. Red, who was reading a newspaper, looked over the paper and gaped at the amount of pokeballs there were. There were about 50 of them. It was even more than the amount of pokeballs Red had 20 years ago when he first met Bill, transformed into a Ratata. Rinoa looked pale from losing all that blood but she was less pale than when she first woke up. “They’re just for my pokedex anyway, but there’s one guy I’m gonna bring around.” She dropped a pokeball and a Spearow hopped out. “Speary Speary!” it said.

“Hey you learn your name fast!” Rinoa said as she cradled Speary in her arms. “It’s a girl.”

“Why don’t you send all those pokeballs into the retrieval system?” Yellow asked.

“I can’t figure out how to haul them to the center,” she replied.

“Then use Yellow’s transporter,” Red said. “It’s easier.”

“She has one?” Rinoa said, surprised.

“Heya rock,” Felix wrote, “Daycare centers are entitled to a registered and free transporter so that it’s easier to send the Pokemon to the owner(s).” Rinoa resisted the temptation to punch him.

30 minutes later…

“We’re done,” said Rinoa said as the last 10 pokeballs were beamed off. “And now to buy a certain guy Pikachu blend pokechow.” She glared at Felix.

“Gimme your trainer card and I’ll buy it,” wrote Felix.

“No way,” Rinoa said, “You’re going to use it to buy a thousand boxes of pokechow.”

He paused for a moment, then wrote, “Plan foiled.”

Rinoa just rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go together and we can catch more Pokemon.”

“Race you there!” he wrote before dashing off. Rinoa followed. She remembered to shut the door.

The minute the door closed, Red looked over the newspaper he was poring over and walked over to the kitchen where Yellow was preparing dinner.

“Wassup, Red?” Yellow asked as he stepped in. “More spice on your chicken?”

“Nah,” Red said. “It’s something else.”

“What?” Yellow said absentmindedly.

“Don’t you notice something strange from just now?”

“No, the only thing I noticed was that you,” she turned off the fire, grabbed a clean spatula, turned around and prodded Red in the chest with each syllable she said. “used a Hy-per Beam on a help-less be-gin-ning train-er.” She turned around, cleaned the spatula and started cooking again.

“I didn’t want to lose,” Red said sheepishly.

“For heaven’s sake!” Yellow exclaimed. “How could you lose to a Pikachu? I think you’re underrating yourself.”

“Gyarados howled, Yellow. The last time he howled was 18 years ago when I fought Bruno on Mount Moon. And he only does it when he’s really hurting. Bad,” Red said.

“Okay, so what’s so strange about the battle?”

“First off, That Pikachu’s Thunderbolt and Thunderpunch did way too much damage even though it didn’t hit Gyarados’ vital spot, which is the forehead. The damage nearly knocked out Gyarados.”


“Second, Light Screen. Pikachu can’t learn Light Screen, and there isn’t a Technical Machine for it.”


“Third, Felix was about to faint after I nailed him with Earthquake, but when Rinoa threw him out again he had full health.”


“Fourth, they nearly beat me. Gyarados had very little energy left.”

“What’s up with that?”

“That means-”

“Yeah, she has the power of the Viridian Forest just like me. Right?”

“Not just that.” Red had a maniac gleam in his eye. “This Pikachu is no ordinary Pikachu, that’s for sure.”

“Oh whatever,” said Yellow.

“Sheesh,” Red said as he left the room. As he did, Yellow thought that he might be right…

Later at dinnertime…

“This is more like it,” wrote the troublesome yellow pokemon. “Finally I get some Pikachu-blend pokechow.”

“Shut up and eat or you’ll eat another Double Kick!” was the general message sent to Felix via 3 humans and 2 pokemon glaring at him. Felix shut up meekly. Dinner continued and ended peacefully without any other trouble.

Later that night…

It was late. Rinoa had fallen asleep. So had Felix, Chick and Speary. Chick and Speary were right beside their trainer. Felix however, was a different story. He was in a baby chair in front of Yellow’s computer. Evidently he had gone hacking and had hacked several Neopokemon accounts and swapped lots of stuff. Beginners found themselves filthy rich and veterans were as poor as beggars. Inventories were filled and drained. His activities were on a window which was wide open at the moment.

Yellow was at the moment trying to wake Red up so that he could go home.

“Red, wake up!” Yellow said. “You… lousy IDIOT!” She yelled as she heaved him upright. Looks like I have to recharge his batteries, Yellow thought. And I know just the thing!

She walked over to Felix. “Get up, Felix!” A loud snore met her ears. She looked up and studied the screen. The result(“WHAT THE ****!? FELIX! YOU LITTLE ********!”) woke both Red and Felix up. The profanities seemed to have an effect on both of them.

Just as Felix was about to get blasted into oblivion, the door to Yellow’s room opened.

“A bunch of Dragonite has just gone nuts in Fuchsia!” Rinoa said as she ran out of the room, Chick and Speary at her heels. Just then Red’s pokegear rang. He answered it.

“What!? A bunch of Dragonite running loose!? Okay, I’ll be right over.” He hung up, looked back at Rinoa, waved a quick goodbye to both Rinoa and Yellow and dashed off. Outside, Red released Aerodactyl. Rinoa just knew that Aerodactyl was not very happy that it was interrupted in its sleep.

“How did you know that?” Yellow asked.

“I just feel them trying to break out of something then they did and I woke up, and somehow I knew it was real. Just now I knew that Red’s Aerodactyl was unhappy to be woken up in his sleep even though I didn’t want to know.” Yellow was silent for a moment. She looked outside the window and asked, “How do the Zubats outside feel?” at the same time stretching her hand out of the window and closing her eyes to read the Zubats’ feelings.

Before Yellow was even done, Rinoa said, “Happy because it’s nighttime and they’ve got blood to lick.”

Yellow found that true.

“What about my Butterfree?” Yellow asked again, pointing to her pocket. Rinoa instantly said without moving anything except her mouth, “It’s dreaming of eating honey in the morning.” Yellow used her powers again and found that true.

“Now your Pikachu.” She pointed to Felix, who had fallen asleep again.

“Simple enough. Dreaming of eating and swimming and drowning infinite boxes of Pikachu blend pokechow.” Yellow found it true also.

Just then Yellow beat up Felix and threw him on the ground. “Try healing him.” Yellow said. Rinoa just
looked at him and the wounds began to heal. She turned away and the wounds were still healing. When Felix was back to his original form, the healing stopped. Rinoa turned again and looked at Yellow. She took a seat on the sofa. Rinoa followed her lead.

“You have the power of the Viridian forest, Rinoa. Except that your powers are far more enhanced than mine or any other person that has this power. The range of reading Pokemon’s thoughts and emotions for you stretches all the way to Fuchsia or even further. Maybe a radius of a few hundred kilometers. Your powers of healing could also be used this way. I don’t know. You also don’t show any sign of doing any such thing ordinarily unless you tell us or the pokemon does. Or maybe when someone is sharp enough to catch you healing a pokemon or reading its thoughts. That’s all I have to say about you. Now go get some sleep. I hope I answered all the questions in your head.”

Rinoa couldn’t sleep. Felix knew because she kept tossing and turning on the mattress on the ground. They were sleeping in Yellow’s room. Soft breathing sounds came from Yellow’s bed. Well, Felix thought, she was the one who didn’t want the bed, so now she’s not enjoying her sleep because of that. Chick and Speary had already fallen asleep. Images of eating pokechow wafted in his brain and before he knew it, he was asleep.

Felix woke up in the middle of the night due to Chick pecking him in the groin. Angry, he ran out of the house to escape the pecking terror which sleepwalked after him before he left the house. He left by the back door.

Outside he saw Rinoa lying on the grass. She had removed the bandages from her head. The back of her head wasn’t bleeding anymore. The Zubat were still feeding on her blood, this time the blood on the fence. He had never seen Rinoa without anything on her head before(He and Red were still fighting when they got inside the house and didn’t pay much attention to Yellow dressing Rinoa’s wound) and sneaked closer to look. She was looking at the stars and had a pendant in her hand. The pendant was broken. And Felix had a sudden flash of realization. He made his way back into Yellow’s room to sleep, cautiously avoiding the sleepwalking Chick and her new partner, Speary.

The next morning…

Rinoa had left Yellow’s house and now headed towards the forest with two purposes. As they entered the forest, Felix leapt from her shoulder and ran away.

“Felix, where’re you going?” she asked. “Argh!” she said as she nearly tripped over a root. She followed him off the path and through a maze of trees for about an hour(because she got lost).
How am I gonna find him? Rinoa thought. Just then, she saw Felix in front of a bush. Rinoa caught up with him.

“Why *puff* did you *huff* bring me *puff* here *huff*?” She asked Felix while gasping for air.

He opened the bush and Rinoa gasped in surprise.

30th June 2005, 1:14 AM
that is cool it is funny the way they keep beating up felix and when felix and reana(?) blew up the lab. And i think it is samel oak NOT green oak. ;196;

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st July 2005, 12:54 PM
This is 20 years down the road from a Japanese Manga series of Pokemon. There are novelisations of it on Serebii.net. Samuel Oak is 6 feet under. And the lab is being cleaned when Rinoa arrives because *Felix decides to grab writer and attempt strangulation to stop him from revealing plot*. Well *cough cough*, you get the point.

Rinoa is the name of Squall's girlfriend or whatever you want to call her in Final Fantasy 8. In other words she's a main character in Final Fantasy 8. Just a bit of trivia. *Felix jumps on writer and decides to get rid of him before he reveals the plot anymore*

Just a little note: If you can't bear the lameness of it, I suggest you don't read a part in the next chapter. It's VERY sick

Felix Feral Fezirix
8th July 2005, 12:53 PM
Time to nickname some very famous losers! Ahaha! And also from now on all censors are cut to minimum. Very minimum.

Chapter 5
-Team Socket-the team of Suckers-

A broken shining fragment lay on the ground underneath the bush. Felix took it with a swipe and handed it to Rinoa. She could sense Felix’s thought: You know what the **** you do with that. She did. She took out the broken pendant. Felix smirked. The pieces fitted and were reunited after 7 long years of separation(Ahem! Not funny at all!).

“How did you know this was here?” she asked him.

She probed into his thoughts and got the answer before he even wrote it. “’Cuz it belongs to me. ME! ME!”

She smiled and placed the pendant(now completed) into her bag again. “Let’s go, Dear little pika,” she said.

“What the hell!? Call me Felix! Not that mushy, sissy name! Please, Mademoiselle, I’ve outgrown it!”

“You’re less mature right now than when I first met you. So… Let’s go Dear little pika!” Rinoa walked off, smirking.

“ARRRRGHHHH! RINOA YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT! WHAT THE ****!? I’LL GET YOU, HELL YEAH, JUST YOU WAIT, YOU *****!” The poisonous thoughts spewing from within Felix’s brain reached his trainer before it reached the whiteboard so before he could write anything he was beaten to a pulp. And they moved on.

6 hours later…

“Hairy, are you absolutely sure there are trainers around, even a single powerful trainer?” Airy asked.

“There should be, shut up and quit whining, and scope in on any rookie. Or any trainer for that matter,” Fairy said.

“I have our evolved pokemon ready!” Hairy said in glee.

“Oh! I see a girl!” Airy exclaimed.

“Ready team… Strike!” Fairy ordered.

Hooooolld on there! Let’s cut to our heroine and her hero Pikachu.(Narrator got screwed in the face by Felix for calling Rinoa a heroine) *Biff Baff Powwow Ouch Damn **** Argh*

“Argh… too many pokeballs, can’t… carry… at…all.” Rinoa huffed as she lugged a hundred pokeballs through the forest in a sack provided by the logistic pokemon, which happened to be yellow and has black tipped ears. He himself was heaving 10 sacks of 9 pokeballs and literally had his hands full right then, unable to write anything, but he could think. Rinoa’s reply was, “Yeah, but you’ve got to train your strength. Take it as training.” The pikachu’s murderous look right then would have scared the crap out of lots of people, but not his trainer.

“Gimme a break, I’m heaving pokeballs too,” Rinoa said. The glare attack shifted to Chick and Speary at the front, chatting away, at the same time looking out for bug type pokemon to kill. The chatting instantly stopped when the glare shifted, and both bird pokemon were breaking out in cold sweat. If they were humans, they would have peed in their pants or whatever it is they would wear. Need to learn how to glare? Come to Felix, the expert. Felix decided to cut his new buddies some slack and turned to look at the trees
around when-

“Prepare for rockers and make it triple!”

“To protect our boss from devastation!”

“To unite all power within the nations!”

“To increase the goodness of false and hate!”

“To extend our strength to the stars above!”

A man appeared. He looked like a giant sized ball with a small head and small limbs stuck on using superglue. It was a scientific marvel that his legs didn’t break from the bulk they had to support. “Airy!” he said.

A wolf appeared, tottering on its hind legs. Rinoa nearly screamed. It was giant sized, towering over Rinoa at 1 1/4 her height(which is 144cm, by the way). As Felix analysed the wolf, he screamed. Not in horror. In fury. Pure fury. He was actually a man covered in fur, complete with realistic looking eyes and nose and face features and something big swinging around near the groin, which Felix had no problem figuring out. It was the man’s…… Good god. The message that Felix’s brain was emitting right then was, “WHAT THE ****!?”

“Hairy!” the wolf said.

“And Fairy!” Another man appeared. He was the opposite of a fairy, having no wings, being fat and pudgy and heavy, being unable to fly, not having a halo around his head and bearing the most sinister appearance and twisted smile in the world. Even the masked man, Pryce couldn’t match the maliciousness of the man. “Now hand over your pokemon now before we beat the crap out of you and your pokemon.”

Rinoa scanned the scene and cringed at the sight of the man in the wolf skin. She decided to close an eye to that and look the other way. She didn’t need to reply. The answer was raised, “Try us, lamZ0r n00bs(lame n00bs).”

“Venusaur!” said Fairy.

“Blastoise!” said Hairy.

“Charizard!” said Airy.

The pokemon were released. Neither the weirdos nor the pokemon looked happy about the last comment.
“We’re not gonna go easy on you for that,” Fairy said menacingly. Rinoa and her Pokemon were not affected by the attempt to intimidate them. Chick and Speary hopped forward, Felix dropped his signboard and started bouncing like a boxer. The quartet looked like they ready to fight to the end, to win or at the very least, give the not very intimidating men hell while they were at it.

“Tackle!” Fairy sang. Rinoa had anime sweat drops at the back of her head as Speary dodged it.

“Drill peck!” Venusaur was given hell by the tiny weeny Spearow as a deep red wound appeared as the beak spun like its life depended on it.

“Scratch!” Airy’s command led Charizard to aid its friend by using Scratch. Speary ran for it and the wound worsened when the claws sliced through Venusaur’s back, right on the wound. Venusaur was having a tough time.

“Speary, entertain those two. Felix, Thunderpunch Blastoise on the chin! Chick, Double team!” The punch flipped the pile of blue fat and muscle and bone and skin into the air where it seized the chance to retaliate with Water Gun. The Water Gun flew right through the little chick running around in circles. The trio had their mouths wide open (and Hairy’s thing was…well…never mind) and their pokemon stood wide open for another strike.

“Chick, Flamethrower. Speary, Drill Peck,” Rinoa said, bored, “Felix, some
entertainment.” Felix whipped out a pair of sunglasses and a guitar from who knows where, and started playing something that sounded like Satan’s favourite song, with undisclosed stream of profanities as lyrics. The sound caught on with Charizard and Blastoise so much they decided to attack to the music. Jets of water and blasts of fire flew all over the path, razing trees and putting out fires. Felix changed tack. Playing a snazzy disco tune, Felix busted a move to beat the band(which was himself), and the pokemon followed, entranced. Airy and Hairy found themselves unable to command the pokemon to attack and turned to Fairy for advice.

Venusaur and Fairy were in a deep stew of their own. While Speary drilled further into Venusaur’s wound, Chick was keeping up a Flamethrower to roast the pokemon from green to 100% black, crisp and barbequed dinosaur, with unsightly black liquid dripping from its wound. Venusaur could no longer hold out against the assault and collapsed.

Felix whipped off his sunglasses and quickly hid the guitar and took out a violin before the pokemon realized the music had stopped. He played a sweet, soothing, sleep-inducing tone and swayed from side to side. Charizard and Blastoise soon succumbed to the music and the motions, and lay fast asleep on the ground, one over the other. Hiding the violin, Felix summoned five huge bolts of yellow and blue to utterly barbeque the pokemon.

Realising defeat, the trio attempted to flee, but Felix cut off their escape route(which was behind them) while they were withdrawing their pokemon. He was wearing a baseball cap and holding a baseball bat just right for his size. They spun around. As they did, Felix’s baseball bat accidentally deliberately hit them on their pivoting foot which made them collapse to the ground, forcing them into a kneeling position in front of Rinoa.

“Merci, Mademoiselle!” the trio yelled in unison, kowtowing to her.

The signboard behind the men prompted her reply, “I’m not married, and what are you thanking me for?”

The men were quiet.

“Sheesh, whatta bunch of losers,” Rinoa said, “From whither thou hail?”

“Team Rocket!” the trio stood up and declared with a hint of pride, “Our boss and his left hand man will squash you!”

“Isn’t it right hand man?” Rinoa asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Well, he always stands on our left hand side,” countered Hairy. Rinoa and her pokemon nearly anime-fell.

“For goodness’ sake…” Rinoa groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead.

“Idiots, the bunch of them,” Felix wrote, “ Calling them Team Rocket’s an insult. Let’s call them Team Sucket.”

“Do you have to be that vulgar?” Rinoa said, “Let’s call them Team Socket.”

“Yar. Get lost Team Socket!”

After looking back and forth a few times to alternate watching Rinoa talk and reading what Felix wrote, at Felix’s words they turned and ran into the trees off the path. Rinoa smirked and moved on, trailing her pokemon behind her.

She had not walked far when a beam hit the ground.

Rinoa found herself thrown sideways though the trees, her arms scraping against countless tree trunks and finally screeched to a stop on her back in a clearing. Her clothes were slightly damaged from the explosion and her short flight through the trees. Her pokemon landed beside her. Both trainer and pokemon were bruised and cut. The sky darkened suddenly from white(it was noon) to black as if someone had thrown the light switch for the sun(if there actually was one). Mist filled the clearing like the smoke from the smoke canisters theatres use filling the stage. Rinoa and her pokemon got up and watched the mist carefully…

A dark form appeared through the mist, dropping in from the sky. It slowly tottered towards them, like a baby was learning to walk. They tensed themselves for battle…

21st July 2005, 1:31 AM
okay thank you and tell felix i said not to kill you or i will send rayquaza.

Felix Feral Fezirix
22nd July 2005, 8:33 AM
The first serious chapter in the story that is important to the plot. If you scream at the sheer horror of it, there’s nothing much I can do. The only humour there is going to be in the chapter is the name on one of the characters. And sorry for all the caps and formatting, it was necessary.

Chapter 6
-The Maniac *******-
The figure sauntered out of the mist. There was nothing special about the person. S/he just wore a hooded cloak. Rinoa yawned. She had been expecting something more original as her assailant. Suddenly the person rose a few centimeters from the ground and hovered, at the same time breathing with rasping sounds. From the place where hands should be, stubs of arms appeared, with fingers protruding from the stub. From what Rinoa could see, this person was deformed to a horrible extent. But she was skeptical about it, it was too fake.

“Who the **** do you think you are, blasting us like that?” Felix asked, more than a little angry.

“I…AM…THE…MANIAC…*******…LIKE…IT…OR…NOT…YOUR…***…I S…MINE…” the slow dragging voice emanated from the depths of the hood.

“Why are you insulting your parents? That’s stupid,” Rinoa said.


“Well, if you’re trying to get rid of us, we’d better start before you lose it.” Rinoa wrote.

“Bring it on, sucker!”

“VERY…WELL… I...SHALL…FINISH…YOU…LIKE…MY…MASTER…ORDERED…DRAGON ITE!” a Dragonite emerged from a pokeball from somewhere in the folds of his cloak. A Dragonite appeared, but was nothing like Rinoa had ever seen before. It was glinting. Rinoa gasped as a realization of what it was gripped her.

The Dragonite was covered in metal.

If the Maniac ******* was planning on killing them, he wasn’t taking any chances.

“Chick!” Rinoa was not going to let the crazed fool push her over like an ant. She was going to either win or give him hell before she went down.

“Tor!” Chick said, hopping forward. But before anyone could brace themselves, a Hyper Beam smashed into the ground, right in front of the group consisting Felix, Rinoa, Speary and Chick, throwing them all backwards. They hit the ground, hurt badly from the giant blast. Chick fainted instantly.

“Chick!” Rinoa exclaimed. The red pokemon lay unconscious on the ground.

“EARTHQUAKE…” the voice sounded from nowhere. The steel foot crashed into the ground, shaking things up. The trees fell like dominos, as if a giant baby had pushed them down. By the time the attack ended, the clearing(which had a radius of 100m)had been expanded by 3 times. Speary was unaffected by the attack, but her friends were. Blood trickled out the corner of Rinoa’s mouth and her clothes were ripped and torn like a piece of paper cut by some baby with a scissors, and Felix could hardly stand, wobbling like a drunkard. Chick still lay down on the ground. Speary looked nearly like a fried chicken from the blast.

“BREATHE…ON…THEM…” The metal Dragonite sucked in a huge breath and sneezed. The gust that came out of its nose whirled like a tornado, whipping Rinoa and gang into the air, with the exception of a certain drunkard looking pokemon which was valiantly attempting to push against the wind, making a Herculean effort to strike. When Rinoa had hit the ground on her back, Felix was about to give the Dragonite hell. The fist he drew back fizzled and he was about to strike when it hit.

Earlier on, the Maniac ******* had already noticed Felix. With a slight wave of his cloak, a Metagross had appeared and sent a huge meteor which connected just as he was about to give Dragonite the shock of his life. The explosion rocked the ground. Felix flew and landed next to Rinoa. Speary, injured badly from the gust, just managed to get up for a second before it had no more strength and collapsed. Neither Rinoa or her pokemon could be able to fight anymore if they were hit again. And the Manaic ******* knew it. Rinoa knew that she was going to die right here, because she had done something that the guy wasn’t happy about.

If that guy can kill me so easily, how many more times is his master stronger by? I just know I don’t stand a chance against him. I’m dead meat, Rinoa thought as she lay on the ground, the dark sky above her sliding in and out of focus.

“BEFORE…YOU…LEAVE…THIS…WORLD…LET…ME…TELL…YOU…WHAT… YOU…HAVE…DONE…TO…WARRANT…MY…WRATH…” the Maniac ******* said. “YOU…HAVE…HAD…THE…HONOUR…TO…MEET…MY…SUBORDINATES…A LREADY…HAVEN’NT…YOU…? THEY…WERE…UTTER…FAILURES…THEY…FAILED…TO…REALISE…TH AT…THIS…IS…PART…OF…MY…MASTER’S…GREAT…PLAN! FOOLS…THEY…ARE…THEY…NEARLY…RUINED…HIS…PLAN…THEY…WI LL…PAY…FOR…IT…WE…SHALL…SEE…TOO…BAD…YOU…ARE…BEAUTIU L…YOUNG…LADY…BUT…YOUR…LIFE…ENDS…NOW!” A Tyrannitar appeared from out of nowhere, with the same metal armour as the Dragonite. The three titans stood side by side, with their master in front, charging up one white ball in each of their mouths.

Rinoa got up. She wasn’t going to die on the ground. She was going to laugh in the face of death. Felix took the signboard and after flipping himself onto his feet, wrote a perfectly insulting message, “I pity da stinkin’, stupid, weak, idiotic, ****ing, sonnuva***** of a foo!”(no grammar errors there)

Slowly the other pokemon stood too.

“VERY…WELL…THEN…I…SHALL…GRANT…YOUR…DEATH…WISHES…EA RLY…HAHA…CHRISTMAS…COMES…EARLY!” the Maniac ******* cackled like a witch from one of those old superstitious stories.

“SO…YOU…WANT…ME…TO…WRITE…LIKE…THIS…SUCKA? YOU…CAN…GO…TO…HELL…FER…ALL…I…CARE…*******! Really, let’s cut to the chase. Take this!” Dropping his signboard, he stood his ground like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to, he drew back the hand with the baseball-sized rock like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to, he lifted a leg 90 degrees into the air like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to. Just as he was about to pitch, he realized that he had never read a book called “Professional Baseball Tactics”, but he threw with gusto anyway, but he inserted a bloodcurdling yell(as bloodcurdling as a Pikachus “Pika!” can get) and pitched a ball from hell. If he had the time he would have made the heavy rock blaze a trail of hellfire and be trailed by the smell of brimstone to make it look like one.

Now on to the ball. Any batter in the world would have peed in his pants just by looking at the pitch. And run off screaming like some sissy too. The Dragonite, however, decided to be the batter. Still charging the beam, it stepped out and flicked the ball, changing its trajectory as it flew 45 degrees into the air, never to be seen again. Its landing site was through the roof of a certain someone’s new house in Littleroot in Hoenn and onto Ruby’s head while he was eating luncheon with his wife. Furious, he flung the stone out of the same hole with great accuracy. Its final destination was in the garden outside that house. Amazingly, Ruby was unhurt.

Right then, Rinoa’s parents had no idea what deep **** she was in. The only thing that got to them was the stone anyway.

Back in the forest Felix was using at least 20 curses per sentence to curse their antagonist to hell. He wasn’t very happy. But the end was near. The huge balls of white were now at least 20 times the size of the stone. Rinoa, Chick and Speary was doing every single thing she could to take out the 3 pokemon.

“Ember! Gust!”

The attacks didn’t do much. Meanwhile, Felix attempted the craziest maneuver in history. He threw another baseball-sized rock at the pokemon and then flipped himself into standing with one finger, and with that done he spun like a top, not unlike a Hitmontop. Hey, that rhymes. Whatever. The weight pivoted around the finger as he played a game of Pong against the giant-sized pokemon, only upwards. Rinoa decided to get Chick and Speary to attack the ball so that the pokemon would be at least weakened in some amount.

The ploy didn’t work anyway. The psychopath let off another laugh and said, “USELESS…UTTERLY…USELESS…FOOLS…STRUGGLING…WELL…IT’ S…THE…LAST…TIME…YOU…DO…SO…ENJOY…IT…HAHA…LOSERS…TOT AL…LOSERS…MWAHAHAH!”

Crap! Rinoa thought, We’re dead!


A huge blast came from the three giant beams combined. They converged and formed a gargantuan beam that looked like it had the potential to utterly disintegrate anything in its path. Rinoa, Felix(who had stopped spinning and returned to his mistress’s side *Felix beats the crap out of narrator for that, ouchie daisie ouch damn **** crap*), Chick and Speary watched open-mouthed as the huge beam loomed menacingly in front of them. Just 10 seconds before impact, a shadow flitted past, and a huge ethereal shield materialized in front of them. The jaws slackened so much that they threatened to dislocate themselves.

The beam hit just as they were about to turn their head.

The shield didn’t help. The beam blasted through it, shattered it. It hit Rinoa square in the chest. She screamed as the pain wracked her nerves, her body, her brain and her senses(including the sixth), destroying her sensitivity to other things, like the fact that her pokemon were too in pain, their cries showed that.

She didn’t even feel anything when she hit the ground.

“Hey kid, wake up,” a gruff voice said, “Are you okay? Wake up!” There was a sigh. “Unconcsious. Looks like I’m going to have to lug this dead weight to the nearest hospital…”

10th August 2005, 5:41 AM
Be a good boy now Felix. Sorry it has been so long since I have written, but I had to finish my last novel as you know and have now been working on the next. I really enjoy your work though others might not. Keep it up, really. Your work is great.

11th August 2005, 3:06 PM
;330; Ok Fred the barmy Pikachu, this is the funniest fic I have ever read. I was having trouble stifling my laughs in the earlier chapters.

;359; I thought it was Frank the Nutty pikachu.

;373; Well written, occasional spelling errors and immense humour. I thought S.F. used a lot of swear words in New Land, New Heroes. And it was Philip the Crazy Pikachu.

;307;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........ .......

;249-d; This is the first fic I've laughed with, not at.

;330; Don't worry Sheila the frankly ordinary pikachu, that was the best compliment you'll get from Jack.

Felix Feral Fezirix
11th August 2005, 4:22 PM
What? You thought there weren’t any more chapters? Wrong. A new character appears in the story. He is a main character. That’s all I can say because if I say anymore *Felix makes another suffocation attempt to stop narrator from revealing plot*. This is the first time in the story I switch P.O.V It will be shown by this: :::Insert name here::: . I know this one is ultra long but whatever.

Chapter 7
-The first Badge-


“Ugh…”I groaned as my eyes slowly opened. I twitched my fingers. When my eyes focused, I was staring at a white ceiling. Was this heaven? Or hell? Or the afterlife? I didn’t care. I tried to get up but felt such excruciating pain in my chest I fell back again, screaming at the same time.

“Crap!” I swore and unleashed a flurry of vulgarities, rubbing my chest at the same time and wincing from the pain induced by rubbing my own chest. The only thing that prevented me from screaming again was that my lip was being bitten(by who else? Me of course). Of course I stopped rubbing my chest, who in their right minds would deliberately inflict pain on themselves? Hoping to get an answer to why my chest was hurting even though I was dead, I lay back on my pillow and all went black.


There’s just one thing about entertainment. It’s great if both you and your audience enjoy your performance. I am probably a top-notch comedian and entertainer when ranked against humans. Against my own kind, well… I’m the only one of my kind. Shut the **** up about me being the only pokemon that can actually communicate with humans without some interpreter or you’ll get a fist in your mouth and a foot up your ***. It’s that simple. Back to my second sentence in this paragraph. It’s horrible when neither you nor your audience.

I enjoy entertaining kids and adults. They’re fun. If Rinoa hadn’t come across me I think I would have been a great performer and went to live a glamourous life and maybe even get to Pokewood(This world’s version of Hollywood. Duh). What the heck. But old prunes are borrring, zeusless, idiotic, loserrrish, l4mZ0r(lame in leetspeak, also known as 1337sp34k. Don’t ask me why), stupid, just plain UNfashionable. What the ****, I have to play these stupid Chinese instruments. Worst part, I didn’t even know how to play. The prunes would have given me the finger if they actually knew about it, ‘cause the music was horrible. And it was part of my daily schedule. Damn. Rinoa had better wake up soon or I’d bash her up so that she does.

We are only 30 metres away from the Pewter City Gym! God! Wake up Rinoa! Save me from the prunes of doom! And the ****ing medical smell! Get us out of this stupid hospital, dammit!


Felix’s erhu(the instrument he was playing right then) snapped(It was made of wood and whale whiskers(or whatever you call them)). The old men and women, disgusted with his performance, left the scene. Visibly angry, the little guy went to the room, incredibly outraged that he had to go as low down as to make some stupid ****ing Chinese music to keep those pruned suckers happy. Unable to reach the doorknob(like always), he made a huge racquet(pardon the pun) and waited for a nurse to open the door for him.


I heard such a loud noise that I became conscious instantly. My hands automatically shot to my ears to filter out the noise. When it finally stopped, the door opened and a nurse said, “Alright now, get in. Next time just ask at the counter.”

Just as the door was about to close I said, “Excuse me? What’s wrong with me?” My voice creaked like an unoiled hinge. I cleared my throat.

The reply came, “Taking a Hyper Beam to the chest hurts, girl. But you can be discharged if you want to.”

“Discharged?” I got a shock. “Aren’t I dead?”

“If you were dead what would you be doing here?”

I didn’t have time to answer before Felix literally and practically hammered the fact that I wasn’t dead into my brain. After that, he released Chick and Speary. The three of us were hugging each other while Felix puked into the toilet bowl in the toilet in the room.

Half an hour later, I was out of the hospital(with my own clothes back on, patched a bit here and there. Apparently my clothes had tons of holes in it including one big one where the hyper beam hit me. You thought the hospital was gonna give me clothes? Fat hope.) and Felix was giving me background research on the gym leader(on his bloody signboard of course, what the hell did you expect? Gimme 1000 pages of research to read? God, I’ve got better things to do), what type of Pokemon he used(rock) and demonstrating that he could either smash a rock like hammer bashing egg or slice through rock like chopper through meat, thus showing his readiness to rumble(whatta showoff). Chick had Double Kick, a fighting move that could beat through the rock type pokemon. Unfortunately I had to leave Speary out, since she didn’t have a single anti-rock move. With these preparations, I headed to the gym. The heavy steel double doors were no obstacle as I kicked them open.

Inside was a battlefield, rocks strewn all around. The grown over-30-year-old man dashed out of the door on the other side in the nude, surprised at the sudden sound. Evidently he was busy changing, and in his haste he just ran out without considering the fact that the visitor could be a girl. Male chauvinistic pig. Sexist. Whatever. I spun around quickly, not willing to allow my innocent mind to be exposed to such immorality.

“What?” he said. I couldn’t see him anyway. I wasn’t going to look at him unless he put some clothes on.

“I’m here to challenge you,” came my reply, cold truly, despite my back facing him and my embarrassment.

“Just fight my friend first while I get ready,” he replied, running in. I spun around and saw his ***. I felt like kicking it but I restrained myself



“Sandshrew! Diglett!” the boy opposite me yelled. He was only 8. Even though I was only 2 years his senior, I felt a great satisfaction that I was older and therefore more mature than him. But thinking about this makes me feel less mature. Hmmm. What a dilemma. The two pokemon appeared.

“Chick. Speary,” I said, bored, calling my pokemon out of their balls(no sickness intended *Felix retches at the sickness*). Felix had gotten a deck chair from nowhere and had fallen asleep in it already. I myself felt like sleeping. This match was going to be a pushover. But I had other things to think about.

“Double scratch!”

“Gust. Double Kick,” I wasn’t going to take this seriously. I spent more time thinking about my match. I had to devise some way of winning without bending physically, otherwise I would feel the consequences. Consequences being pain of course, what do you think it was? You need a course on how to use your common sense if you couldn’t figure that out.

The Diglett and his best friend Sandshrew were in deep ****. Their attacks missed because Speary airlifted Chick out of reach. Sandshrew got blown into the opposite wall and broke his back. Somehow I had a deep satisfaction watching him break his back. It was like watching my dad and I quarrelling. Suddenly I realized that I missed my parents, but I shook it off for now. This was important. The Diglett was probably pretty young, because its body components wasn’t very tough, proved by Chick’s first kick that went right through the back of his head, and the second kick that smashed his teeth right into the mouth. The two pokemon lay with severe damages on the ground. What weaklings.

“Noooooooooooo-” the boy cried.

“Yessss…” I interrupted his long exclamation and yawned at the same time.

“oooooooooooo! Sandsand, Digger!” he finished crying over his pokemon’s spilt blood, stood up and said to me with gusto:

“You’re going to pay for this!”

I had a mind to teach him some manners, but just then his ‘best friend’ came in.

“Daddy! She bullied me!” The effect of this simple sentence on me was another round of heartache, accompanied by tears welling up in my eyes. I could never have confided with my parents like that. Now that I looked back, I saw that I was a independent person, but to the point that I had neglected my parents and my surroundings. Have I ever thought about how they felt.

Just then a tap on my shoulder from someone that was supposed to be lying in a deckchair taking a nap prompted me to cast my thoughts aside and wipe my tears away. The lousy referee was announcing the rules. I didn’t care. 3 pokemon for each side. First one to run out loses. No switching allowed unless any pokemon was knocked out. Both sides can switch pokemon during that time. This was gonna be a pushover.



The pokemon looked at each other, sizing up the opponent.

“Rock throw!”

“Double kick!”

Chick took a run and executed a jumpkick out of the Matrix that took her halfway across the field, bashing out the rocks that flew her way and kicking the Geodude’s face. She used the second kick to kick the Geodude’s face again to launch her into the air and land back where she started. Chick had hit the pile of rock in the eyes. It was now blundering around.

“Double kick!”

Chick leapt into a mid air flip that would make her feet beat the little guy in the face. Just as she was about to land, the reply came, “Rock slide!”

Nice move. He wasn’t aiming for Chick, but for me. If he managed to knock Felix out and smash Speary’s pokeball, victory was in the bag. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me. Felix was dicing the rocks like onions and I didn’t have to move my injured body. So much for good skills.

By the time the rock slide ended Chick had already beat the hell out of the Geodude. The game was up.

“Return,” Brock said weakly. I merely gestured, and Felix ran in and Chick ran out.



That huge rock snake loomed over a 0.6 m tall yellow pokemon. Any pokemon in that position would have run out immediately. But not the best of the best, the coolest of the cool, the toughest of the tough, the pwner of the pwners, the smartest of the smart, the strongest of the strong, the cutest of the cute, the most egoistic among the egoistic! ME! I know it’s self praise, but you know what? It’s true, it’s true!

“Iron tail!” The attack went far ‘n wide as I used Rollout to get closer to him.

“Iron tail!” Rinoa’s sharp voice reached my ears and I did so dutifully. I turned on my side, stuck out my tail and continued spinning, clockwise vertically to the ground. Right then I looked like a severely modified Beyblade(illegally too). I went for his tail(actually I count that as 5 blocks of his body out of 12) before he could lift it from the ground and sliced ‘n diced it like onions and garlics and gingers. You want some? Come get some. But it’s rock, so don’t blame me if your teeth break.

“Wrap!” The severed tail couldn’t reach me as I spun out of reach and stood up. Brock was in a state of shock. “Get up, Onix!” was all he could say. Onix was flat on the ground and trying in vain to stand up from trying to reach me

“Iron tail!” Rinoa’s voice said to me clearly in my mind as she stared at Brock, but I could tell she was using her powers to cheat. Ah. Bad girl. Using her powers for her own selfish desires. I obeyed anyway. I wouldn’t get my Pikachu blend pokechow if I didn’t(yes yes, bribery, I know).

I decided to put the guy out of his misery. He had blue liquid oozing from his new rear end and blue liquid was all over the floor from his diced up parts. Hardening my tail and putting on a N95 mask, I set to work on the most detailed and extensive butchering and dicing job ever done in the world. When I was done, it was like Onix had never come save for rocks strewn all ovarrr(couldn’t resist) the floor and blue liquid all ovarrr(Shoot! Again!) the place.

“Return…” Brock looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He looked like what he was right now: The very image of patheticism. I would have laughed at him if I were Rinoa. A girl just humiliated him twice in a day, and a proper cap off was to have Rinoa laugh at him. But she didn’t(I felt like whacking her in the face for passing up such a good opportunity). Instead she stood still with a calm, self-confident smile on her face. Hell she deserved to be whacked.

“Forretress!” His choice shocked the two of us. He was supposed to specialize in rock, but now he was going out of his area of expertise. Hmmm… I wonder what the **** he’s up to.


I could sense Felix’s thoughts and I knew that he was wondering why Brock wasn’t using another rock type pokemon. The answer was simple: Using another rock type pokemon would lead to a quick defeat by dicing. Hence the importance of using another type. Steel type pokemon were around the same as rock pokemon, but with less weaknesses but not many pokemon had a weakness to Steel type attacks. I was betting my health that the Forretress definitely had a powerful ground or rock offensive move. He wouldn’t use it unless it had a rock type attack anyway. I ordered Chick in and Felix out. If I could score an Ember before Forretress attacked this one was over.

“Ember!” I didn’t waste time.

“Rock slide!”

Uh-oh. Wrong move.

Rocks began to rain like hail and though Felix did another good butchering job to protect me, Chick was doused by them and crushed to oblivion. I could hear my dear Torchic’s cries as she got bashed up by the rocks.

“Chick!” I yelled, worried for my pokemon. Chick was down already. She had stopped crying. There was a pile of rocks on the ground where Chick lay. I silently returned her to her pokeball. Brock had planned this well. Very well. I should have just gone for a Double Kick but I overlooked that fact and thinking that Ember would do more damage, I had used the wrong move. Time for a test run.

“Speary!” I knew full well that Speary was being sent to her doom, but I couldn’t use my ace. Not now.

“Rock slide,” Brock said in a singsong tone. He thought he was going to push me over. Never. Impossible. If he only had Rock slide I could smash that steel crap to pieces easily. Time for my trump card.

I made the switch within a second and now the rocks headed for a familiar yellow mouse.

The game was in the bag.


Hell no. That guy thinks that a shower of rocks could kill me? Fat hope. I climbed up using the rocks as stepping stones for fun. When the attack ended, I instantly entered attack mode and dashed for the guy(or gal if you please). Rinoa used her powers to give orders. She was probably thinking about thinking. Humans are so lame.

“Agility,” a voice echoed in my mind. I used the attack and Forretress could only watch as his attacks were all evaded. Finally Brock had had enough.


Oh ****! ****! Damn! That ****er got smart!

The ground started vibrating and before long I was suffering damage. The attack was taking its toll on my health. Rinoa was trying to keep her balance so that she wouldn’t hurt her back. I was on my own.

Time for my own strategy.

I rolled onto my tail and pushed. I flew into the air. I’m flying! Haha! Now read very carefully.

I had poised myself on a 80 degree angle before launching myself into the air. If all went well I would kick the rustbucket’s face and put a few dents in it and put it out of commission. I now I could foresee one problem.

I pushed myself too lightly. I was going to hit that hunk of scrap metal tail on. This was my only and last chance. If I didn’t turn that guy into crap we would lose. I could feel my body reaching its physical limits. If I went any further I would transform and reveal myself, of which my body was not ready for yet. I didn’t have enough energy. If I did that I would probably kill myself. Hang on, what was I saying? Why did I say that? Weird.

I began to descend. I hardened my tail and waited for the hit. I crossed my fingers and tried to pump every single inch of muscle and energy into the tail to put that pile of **** on the ground and make Brock grovel at Rinoa’s feet. Now that would be fun.

Suddenly my tail felt like it was on fire. If I was on the ground I would be running around like my *** was on fire. Wait a minute… Don’t tell me my *** is really on fire?


I watched as Felix’s flaming tail cut that *****’s head off(actually cut that ***** into half). Brock sank to the ground as his pokemon lay steaming on the ground. A plate of diced and dented pokemon was on Brock’s menu, topped with fried Forretress, served by yours truly.


I toyed around with the badge in my hand. I flipped it like a coin and tossed it into the air and caught it. The light from the setting sun hit it and it sone like a beacon. While I was admiring my new badge, Felix was eating a box of Pikachu-blend Pokechow as tea. This was to appease him, as the hospital had called to say that I should stay there until my body had fully recovered. Chick had to recover from her fractures(caused by all the rocks crushing her) too. I decided to stay for the benefit on Chick and I. The only one not happy about that was Felix. I sighed and walked towards the hospital to lie in bed to rest my body.


A figure ran across the street and ran into Rinoa, sending the 10-year-old sprawling. The badge flew out of her hand, and Felix caught in his pokechow box and took it out. Rinoa began to get to her feet slowly and painfully, but before she did the figure stopped and pulled her to her feet. It was a boy around her age.

“Are you okay?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she said, studying his features. His blond hair was spiked and his piercing grey eyes studied her carefully. Somehow there was an aura of mysteriousness around him, and his eyes made her feel afraid of him but still liking him at the same time. He was gentlemanly and amiable. She thought that if she were to marry someone it would be someone like him but he himself would be best.

“What’s your name?” he suddenly asked.

“Rinoa. What’s yours?” In a moment she was looking down. She didn’t want the boy to see she was blushing. Her heart felt like a sledgehammer against her chest. What could I be feeling? Rinoa thought.

“Serge. Where’re you going? I’ll give you a lift.”

She allowed him to give her a lift on his Arcanine(which had been standing beside him all along). When he had left the hospital and she was safely back in bed, having bathed and changed her clothes, she began to think of the boy. Meanwhile Felix had stolen her trainer card to get more boxes of pokechow for dinner.

Typical him.

11th August 2005, 4:51 PM
Well well well.
I really enjoyed this one. I think that we are starting to see what the first part of the story was about, the one with the Giga Explosion and such. It was funny to see Brock so pitifully beaten. It also seems like Brock finally found a woman, something he has been looking for for a looooooooooong time. I love your book, keep it up.

11th August 2005, 8:10 PM
;330; Awesome. George the slightly Drunk Pikachu rocks! He wiped the floor with Onix and Forretress. Keep it up. It's funny and the new guy is either called Gary, Green Blue or Squall.(Or possibly the guy who turned on them in FF8, his name evades me, because I don't like him)

;359; I still think it's Frank the Nutty Pikachu.

;373; Description, good. Length, Good. Humour, Off the scales! Seriosly, this is funnier than xXSaberXx's CoF.

;307;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... ...........

;249-d; If I say what I'm thinking S.F. will set Rayquaza on me....

;330; D*** straight I will, you petty little...

;359; We all hate Jack, so stop ranting S.F. And next time, can Amidamaru join in?

;330; Sure your Absol can Cina, and if Ricardo the short and fat pikachu wants to help kick Jack's butt, he can as well.

12th August 2005, 5:58 PM
Alright, basic premise of the story is:
1) Over-spamming of vulgarities
2) Certain attempts at humour
3) Pikachu...
4) Pwnage of all enemies.
5) Pikachu...

Honestly, just so you know, Red is the most powerful trainer in the pokemon world. Sheesh. You pwned him.
At least give him a proper development stage so that we can rest with the fact that there is a freaking powerful !Pikachu! (WHAT?!) that does not start off being more than able to defeat a level 100 Gyrados. Because that's what Red's Gyrados is. Level 100.
While I do admit that some people will get quite a laugh from it, you can rest assured that it will wear thin by Chapter 20. Find new means of creating jokes as opposed to spamming vulgarities, pokemon abuse and lame puns. 1337 will not get you very far either just so you know.

Make your trainer fit her history, or at least in time make her do so. Having a Mewtwo powered Pikachu and still being an idiot? Bleagh.

Alright, less on your stupidity and more on your writing. For a first, having a person who is a tortured, powerful, child of a main character is just not right. The fact that she also personally knows Red, Yellow, Green, probably Blue and every other manga character just screams Sue all over. Plus, a broken back SHOULD very well leave you paralysed waist down.
I mean, if it was a joke device it would be alright, but as it is, it is not. Thus I believe that your writing was screwed up from the beginning.

Oh well, you can always improve, and there is plenty of space to do so in the future. Oh, and since I know you personally, let's just advice you: Make the evolution method a little more complicated than the King's Rock. Slowbro already has that.

The Thumbs: Somewhere in the middle (Lowered by the fact that your main villian is called Maniac 13astard...)

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th August 2005, 7:14 PM
Ski just stop the bloody Pikachu discrimination. And stop spilling the beans for god's sake! You're ruining my fic! *Felix attempts strangulation before a Stream of Profanity is unleashed* We shall talk at school n00b(P.S. Choco Love is funny. I am attempting to be funnier. Live with it.).

Sorry for above paragraph. Ski is someone I know personally and I get abbuse because I like Pikachus. He goes for ubers(eg. Dragonite Metagross Tyrannitar etcera). Thanks for taking the time to read and post Shiny_Deoxys(For a little trivia there's someone with the name Shiny Deoxys if I'm not wrong. Now to figure out how not to mix these two up) and Shiny Flygon(Great! Another cryptic post! Whoopie! [/ISnotBEINGsarcasticWITHINbracket]). I guess I'm gonna post the next chapter through edit. It's gonna be big(duh) so I don't need to double post anyway.

P.S. Typing in the dark is very hard especially with an outdated Windows 95 computer and simple day-use keyboard and mouse that should have been smashed, stomped on and turned into ashes years ago.
~Words of wisdom by Felix_the_mutant_Pikachu

Felix Feral Fezirix
14th August 2005, 5:28 PM
I don't care, I'm gonna double post because I'm feeling very rebellious today, so...Mwahahahaha. Come and catch me. Right, here we go.

If you cannot guess what happened to Rinoa you need to think in a more mature fashion(or you are thinking innocent thoughts, which, you should have known by now, are not used very much in this story). You should be thinking evil thoughts. Eeeeeeeeevil thoughts(Okay not that evil. Think a bit more mature?). Don’t knock yourself out.

Chapter 8


After I had gotten over thinking about Serge, I began to think about something else. It nagged at the corners at my mind.

It was Felix’s flaming tail.

At the critical moment he had unleashed that move, yet after the match when I asked him to use the attack he had no idea how to(Normal ones can’t, Pikachus do not possess powers that make their tail burn like a Charmander’s). That was definitely true. How could he escape my mental interrogation? I could probe into the very thoughts of his mind easily, even from a distance(when he needed to take a **** I could still interrogate him from the bed). That was one big unsolved mystery.

I had stayed in the hospital for a week, and I found out that a man had dropped me off at the hospital in the dead of the night. The nurse who was at the counter that day couldn’t remember the person’s appearance. The weird part was that the nurse was known for good memory and could easily remember things she had seen years and years ago. Even the cameras did not record anything about him. The mysteriously blacked out for 20 minutes or so, which was the amount of time the man spent there. I inferred that he didn’t want anyone to know about him. He must have his reasons, I thought to myself.

I was taking my daily morning walk around town. I was heading for the museum like I always did to see if there was anything new. My chest was much better now, after taking a steroid that multiplied the speed at which cells divided over some time. It helped my back recover faster due to faster cell division to replace my dead cells. The side effects were incredible speed of growth. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to(I didn’t grow any taller), but my hair grew a lot longer. I trimmed my fringe slightly, and the hair at the back was tied into a ponytail. I was wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts. My parents wouldn’t be able to recognize me if they saw me now(In fact she would definitely get a stroke).

I entered through the back gate. In itself it was a security device. The creak it emitted could wake the dead faster than Hilliam Wung(Do not hit me for this. Plus I’m a girl and chances are if you are my age I can kick your *** so hard you’ll kiss the moon. So there [Note by Felix: She also has a knack for misspelling and mixing up words]). Felix was doing menial labour to get more Pikachu blend Pokechow. At that particular moment he passed by holding a small piece of rectangular wood like a battering ram. As he passed by he flashed the finger. I ignored him and walked further in, remembering to shut the gate behind me(Again the gate creaked in the same way). I walked up to a door in the back of the building. The infamous back door. I had unlimited access what with talk my slaughtering Brock’s pokemon all over town. I flung it open. Of course it was huge news that I was leaving soon, but there was something new coming in today. Apparently it was a fossil. I decided to check it out for fun.

The minute I walked in, I didn’t need to ask where it was. Immediately I was shoved towards the fossil. That was when I saw a small lump of something yellow. I overheard a scientist saying, “-a great fossil it is! Look, the shine of the amber-!” Great? It looked really uninteresting. Then I overheard something else.

“-heard there’s a research lab on Cinnabar that can revive fossils. There’s gonna be a lot of people entering. The winner gets to bring the amber to Cinnabar and revive and keep the result!” Some scientist talking animatedly to his colleague.

“I bet that kid wins-!” His colleague. I had no doubt he was talking about me. Heck, bring it to Cinnabar? That was simple. I’ll go for it. I registered within minutes and spent the rest of the morning training(Not too strenuous though).

That afternoon I wasted half of it razoring through everyone with Iron Tail, Razor Wind, Double Kick, Peck, Wing Attack and other assorted moves. Before long I was qualified for the finals, and half the time through the entire I was sleepwalking. The half of the time was in battle. I felt like yawning. Stupid people. Just give up and you wouldn’t have your pokemon diced like Brock’s. Brock was a pushover. Fighting these people was like a Dragonite wasting time to squish a Magikarp. Yawn.

“Will the finalists please report to the arena at once!” A voice blared out of a loudspeaker above a bench all of us were dozing on. Time to go. I ran to the arena. I had expected a pushover. I got a nasty surprise in return.

I walked onto the stage and awaited my opponent. The stage consisted of a raised, square platform with markings for each trainer to stand in. Felix carried a baseball bat. Lately he had taken to batting opponents away. Rules state that once a pokemon lands outside an arena it loses. I guess he wasn’t going to waste energy and muscle power beating up some miserable pokemon when he could just score a home run with them. Sheesh.

My opponent arrived. My jaw dropped in shock. My pokemon gaped at me. All eyes were on me.

Brendan Birch!

Dammit! This was going to be hard. I mean, only a trainer of considerable ability should be able to raise a Dragonite! And also give it away like an old toy. Felix swapped out the baseball bat in favour of a loaded 44. God knows how he got ahold of one. I commanded him to put the darn thing away. He did. Now he took out a bamboo pole that reached up to my hips. Hmm. I wonder what he would do with it. I began to think of the countless possibilities…

“Hi Rinoa!” that fool greeted me, interrupting my train of thought.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. Better to know. I could exploit any weakness he had.

He didn’t get to answer though; the match started just then.

“Kipper!” A Mudkip raced out.

“Felix!” I was gonna screw that water type pokemon badly. One zap would put it out of commission.

“Water Gun,” he said with lazy confidence. That was my trademark. And that ******* dared steal it.

“Thunderbolt! Show no mercy!” I yelled. He was so gonna pay for taking my trademark.

“Change attack. Mud Shot,” he replied. I quickly ordered Felix to instead do whatever he wanted.

His Water Gun was way off and it suddenly ended. Now Felix had to deal with the new Mud Shot. How annoying. But he just spun the pole. At the end he was unharmed, but the rest of us were spattered with mud(meaning me, Chick and Speary). Yuck. Next he ran and delivered a hard blow with the stick on that Mudkip’s head while it was reloading. Pathetic.

“Pathetic!” he yelled back. What!? That ******* cheeked me!? He was so gonna pay.

Just then Felix bounced and landed on the ground. “Stupid water/ground *******,” he wrote, “conjured a Light Screen from out of nowhere.” I agreed with him for once.

“Earthquake!” Brendan was taking this up a notch now. I was gonna show him.

“Dice that pile of blue crap!” I yelled.


The following is a display of superior acrobatics.
1. I planted the pole into the ground
2. I leapt to the top.
3. I grasped the top of the pole and began hopping with it.
4. After I gauged the distance, I leapt.
5. After performing a variety of aerial stunts, I bring my Iron Tail onto that loser’s head.
6. Such is the way.


Brendan’s Mudkip’s head got sliced into half anyway. Brendan was beaming even though he just lost a pokemon.

“Excellent. William!” he said. Man, he was a glutton for punishment. He was so dead.

A male Nidoran emerged. I never bother going into details but there was something special about this guy. He looked like his lifelong ambition was to kill, steal and plunder. Sheesh. I got Speary to get out and do him in. I could tell she was excited. I just wanted to beat the living crap out of Brendan. Well, time to rock.

“Horn Attack,” he said and yawned. He actually dared yawn in front of me. This ******* was dead.

That Nidoran came head on. I issued a command via… I dunno, brainwaves? Speary jumped on the guy’s back and began stomping on it like nuts. Fury attack, except using legs. Now I yawned. A huge yawn. Brendan didn’t like me doing that of course, you could see his face. The Nidoran was on a rampage, trying to shake the pesky Spearow off.

“Rinoa, is that the best you can do?” he asked, apparently bored.

“Shut up and concentrate!” I snapped back at him.

“Rollout,” Brendan gave a command.

Nidoran began to spin. I ordered Speary to get off silently. The Nidoran spun round and round. I ordered her to tail the ball of purple as close as possible. Soon the little guy got tired of spinning that he stopped.

“Drill Peck!” I ordered as a finishing move.

“Roll backwards,” Brendan said, s******ing like it was a joke.

Speary was undoubtly squished under Nidoran. I had lost my first pokemon.

Without a second thought I ordered Chick out and withdrew Speary. I wanted revenge.

“Nidoran, Earthquake,” Brendan said lazily.

The ground rumbled. Ordinarily Chick would have been hit by the attack. But with all the training flying lessons Speary had given her Chick flapped hard and she managed to hover above the ground. Felix was jumping like a kangaroo. I got shoved off the arena by the attack.

“Argh!” I said as I hit the ground and rolled. The audience were trying not to fall over too, so I took the opportunity to scramble back on the arena. That pesky Nidoran was still bashing the ground with his foot. Yawn. Now to end this **** with a **** you and have a nice day, in Felix’s words.

“Flamethrower!” I yelled. Chick obeyed and shot a huge flame at the Nidoran. It blasted at the pile of purple crap but it rolled out of the way anyway(hmm…that sounds like a joke). Big miss. Damn.

“Rollout!” Brendan ordered. The spiked menace spun into a ball again and went after Chick. Right then I began to plot a way of revenge. Brendan had humiliated me enough. I would push him off the stage like he did me.

“Jump on that idiot and use a flaming Double Kick!” I yelled. I hoped the Nidoran would lose control and run into Brendan and knock him off. The ball of purple was fast becoming barbeque in a ball. Even if the Nidoran didn’t hit Brendan he would fry to hell anyway.

As I expected, the pokemon kept his cool and rolled around waiting for Brendan’s next command. Chick was going nuts on top of him, what with trying to balance, kick, keep up the blaze and cause damage. She was sweating like she’d been put in a sauna set at 700 degrees Celsius. The game was in the bag. Yet Brendan had a smile on his face. He probably had an ace up his sleeve. But I couldn’t figure it out. This was infuriating! Then suddenly I saw the glow. Then I knew what Brendan had been thinking all along.


I took one look at the face of the brunette with a ponytail standing in front of me, and decided to end the fight. William was evolving with her pokemon on top. A white halo surrounded my pokemon. Muscles began to bulge, the horn lengthened and thickened, the limbs lengthened and thickened like the horn did. When the halo vanished, Rinoa’s mouth was wide open. I could probably stuff my fist into her mouth right then and she wouldn’t even notice. The game was over. Rinoa was incapable of speech.

“Horn Drill,” I spoke confidently. William landed on his four feet and Rinoa’s Torchic flew into the air.

“TOOOOORRR!” she screamed(You think I can’t differentiate pokemon gender at a glance when I have studied and made some of the most comprehensive notes on pokemon ever?) in fear. She spun a few times in the air screeching away. Rinoa could only watch as William ran forward, horn spinning and impaled the helpless Torchic on his horn. Right then, Rinoa opened her mouth and screamed.



Rinoa was on the verge of tears. She was losing it. Tears streamed down her face. As for me, right then I realized how it felt for Brock’s pokemon when I diced them. I wasn’t a very happy Pikachu right then. I was gonna make their *** mine, whether they liked it or not. I bet a box of Pikachu blend pokechow not.

I scampered up. My eyes were blazing in anger. I took the rod and prepared to wage war. The pile of spiked crap tossed my buddy aside like she was nothing. There was a bleeding hole in the middle of her body. Rinoa, who was on her knees, withdrew the pokemon. ***kicking time.

Holding the end, I used it to poke the Nidorino, trying to make it get ****** off. It didn’t. In fact, it smiled, raised its foot and stomped. In fact I wondered if Brendan could read my mind like Rinoa. In fact, I had no time to think about that. In fact, I was gonna be thrown off the arena, resulting in my disqualification and Rinoa’s loss. In fact, at that moment Rinoa was still moping over the rest, especially Chick. In fact, I thought that she would have been healing Chick with her powers. In fact, I was on my own again.
In fact, I was now right at the edge, having been thrown there by the Earthquake attacks. In fact I was balancing by poking the stick rapidly everywhere to steady myself. In fact, my feet hadn’t touched the ground, so I hadn’t been disqualified.

Now let’s cut that stupid thing about “In fact” out shall we? Right then, ‘William’ charged at me. Right then, I grabbed his horn and attempted to maneuver myself into safety and push that ***hole out. Right then, I felt something sink into my groin. Right then I knew if I tried what I was thinking my genitals would be ripped and torn out of my body. Right then, we flew off stage. Right then, he let go of me. Right then, his feet touched the ground. Right then, I flipped over. Right then my feet touched the ground. Right then, it was all over.


14th August 2005, 8:00 PM
so felix knows fire punch(using his tail) thats just as cool as my pikachu zap cannon he knows flamethrower. keep going great so far.

14th August 2005, 8:21 PM
Now Felix, be nice. I do not love ubers. I just happen to respect them more than Pikachu. The only one I really like is Dragonite, although I will willingly admit any day the Tyranitar is the superior fighter, and Metagross the superior tank.
I have something about the wyrms that I like. Charizard, Dragonite and stuff.
Although I dare say Alakazam, Gengar, Machamp, Gyrados, Dragonite and Charizard is a rather overpowered team, I have used it before. Except the trade-evolved were at their second stage cause I was being gay and using an emulator.
Now, reading past the chapter, I must admit that you have built up your characters pretty well. Much better than some stories I read.
Excuse my crappy English, it is very late and I need to get a lot of sleep.

That is all.

Felix Feral Fezirix
14th August 2005, 8:26 PM
Actually a spoiler is that Felix can do EVERY SINGLE ATTACK(you saw that right) even Transform at the end of book 3(which takes place in Hoenn). And no, Felix is gorging himself on Pikachu blend pokechow at the moment which is why I can tell you this. And Felix has the stats of... oops, too late. Ahhhhhhhh! *Felix commits another crime of attempted murder by strangulation and ends with one of 4 possible trademarks*

15th August 2005, 2:59 AM
Okay, I think I get what you are trying to say. I don't want to say anything for fear that it will bring forth the wrath of Felix, so I'll just sit back and see if my prediction is true. This book is great, the comic relief is a blast, and I hope you keep up the good work, regardless of what others say. Anyway, I'm off. *Tosses Felix a special order of Pokechow all the way from Ecruteak City.* I hope you enjoy it, Darren and Eve will be seeing you in Ecruteak in a while.

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th August 2005, 8:55 AM
It may take years to get there... I don't know how many chapters its going to take to take it to near ********** where *huge spoiler occurs*. Hey who censored my post? *Felix confesses*

The True Champion
18th August 2005, 8:14 PM
This fic is great so far and it is really cool how Rinoa can read minds and heal pokemon. It is also cool how Felix is really smart and that he first met Rinoa when she was 4. keep up the good work and i am looking forward to the next chapter!

21st August 2005, 1:29 PM
;330;To the bonnie wee pikachu called Rinoa the ricaeous(umm... I think that's right) Pikachu, firstly thanks for the advice on my fic, and secondly great chapter!

;359; I'm finally awake and I have this to say. Rinoa soooooooooooooooo likes Brendan and vice versa. Also Ginny the red headed Pikachu should nick the amber in the next chapter. Give him William Wallace's Sword! It's five foot in height!

;373; Great chapter. Nothing much I can complain about except Mudkip isn't a ground type until it evolves into Marshtomp. And to Cina and S.F., it's Frank the Barmy Pikachu.

El hariyamer
23rd August 2005, 8:16 AM
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
I am protesting at your lack of goodwil towards Brock. I happen to think that it is a gross outrage at the way you are treating him, Mr. Antpikachu. Mr Antpikachu, please review your writing style.

El hariyamer
23rd August 2005, 4:40 PM
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
I would also write a long lengthy review about your general disregard to life in general, but I gave up. So I'll just tell you, Mr Antpikachu. Stop killing off stuff, Mr Antpikachu. And stop giving away unneeded spoilers, Mr Antpikachu.

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th August 2005, 9:38 PM
Thanks to Shiny_Deoxys and Shiny Flygon for reading and replying(I shall leave my school friends out of this...El Hariyama you are going to die tomorrow).

Thanks to Shiny_Deoxys and Shiny Flygon for reading and replying(I shall leave my school friends out of this...El Hariyama you are going to die tomorrow).

Sorry for the long wait I have schoolwork and exams and other stuff so I had little time to write but here it is! Chapter 9!
In the far future there will be four invented pokemon and five if I manage to write two sequels.

Chapter 9
-Blast the Clefairy!-


“-Consolation prizes, a Luxury Ball. Will those whose names have been called come up on stage. Regan. Gon. Ski.” So on and so forth. The list went on. I stared at the two pokeballs in my hands. Chick lay fast asleep after her ordeal. Speary was looking at the prize presentation. Felix, well… Let’s just say he’s having an operation at the centre to retain his manliness(or so he calls it). You couldn’t imagine how angry he was when he got thrown off stage. If what he did went on air(tlevsion[Note by Felix: See, she can’t spell. *Rinoa ignores him*] I mean), there would be an hour of dead air(screen black, no sound).

“3rd prize: A Dratini! Will…” I looked up and my jaw dropped.

It was Serge!

I sat there, trying to control my emotions. I lowered my head to hide my burning face and I clutched my pokeballs tightly. My fringe hung down from my head like… well, dog ears. Okay, now I admit it was stupid to cut my hair like this but I had it for three years already and a quick change wouldn’t help.

“2nd prize: A…” I got ready to stand as my name was called.

A couple of hours later, I was sitting at a table after checking in to the Pokemon Center. It was already 10pm and as Nurse Joy said, a little too late to be having dinner. Everyone else was eating supper and the only one eating dinner was me. Together with Brendan and Serge.

I ate my fried rice with chicken quietly instead of talking to the two of them while they argued over who was stronger. Apparently I was too busy lolling around and whiling time away that I failed to notice the two of them being called to a battle, much less watched their battle. Serge apparently had mediocre pokemon(according to Brendan). If a team of Wartortle, Ninetales, Dratini and Kadabra was mediocre, I was completely out of the league. Brendan tripped all of them out(except Dratini which he just got it from the prize presentation) and was currently bragging that his pokemon were too intelligent for Serge’s pokemon. I didn’t know what to say. This was the first time I was talking to people who were friendly with me without adult supervision. I had no idea what to do.

“So what if you tripped my pokemon off the stage?” Serge answered calmly, brushed back his blond hair and met Brendan’s red eyes with his own blue eyes. “It just proves you are so pathetic you have to resort to different ways and means to force people out. Pathetic.”

“WHAT?! Hey, it’s called strategy for god’s sake! If you can’t understand strategy you are the worst ******* in the world! If you went into the league you’ll have your rear end kicked so hard you’ll kiss the damn moon and you can **** it for all I care too! Right, Rinoa?” Brendan’s raised voice had everyone staring.

“What?” My face instantly turned crimson. I sat there, looking down, saying nothing.

“Aw, forget it. Anyway-“ Serge began but Brendan cut him off by stuffing his fist into Serge’s mouth.

“We-can-shut-the-hell-up-till-she-answers!” Brendan said as he multi-tasked talking to Serge and straining to prevent him from talking till I did. By then I looked like I was going to pop a vessel out of sheer pressure from all the blood rushing to my head. I gathered up my courage and spoke.

“Well……I guess Brendan’s right…” I mumbled. Brendan let go of Serge and gave a triumphant remark(See?).

“In case you guys haven’t noticed,” I said even more softly, “Everyone’s watching us.”

They looked around. I saw their faces go white as they looked around at the variety of glares, curious look and the great attention we were getting. It was like walking onto stage and having the spotlight shone directly on you.

“I need the gents,” Brendan croaked and rushed off.

“Me too,” he was closely followed by a nervous Serge, leaving me all alone at the table. Trembling, I picked up the fork and spoon, trying to disperse the attention by doing something uninteresting. Soon everyone had their eyes off the boring black-haired girl sitting alone at the table eating her fried rice quietly. However many men muttered something to their company and went into the toilet. Glad to have the attention off me, I stopped trembling and my face turned into its usual olive again.

Minutes later Brendan and Serge rushed back to the table and gobbled down their food before rushing off again. I took my own sweet time and when I was done(1 minute later. I was scooping up the last few grains of my rice when they rushed off) I helped them return their utensils as well. As I was about to leave I spotted their room keys on the floor. I pocketed them and returned to my room.

Felix was lying facedown on the ground when I came in and Chick put a foot on Felix’s head and I could understand what she said next. It was definitely a play made by Felix, the words she said were too deep for her(and me and Speary) to conjure up. I merely smiled I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. The minute the lock clicked Felix uttered some expletives that were a sign that Chick had messed up her line and another pokemon’s voice told her the line again. It ran, “You should have said, ‘quoting Julius Caesar, Veni, Vedi, Veci! I came, I saw and I conquered!’”

Chick began to argue with the other two, and Speary joined in in defending Chick. Smiling, I stripped and got into the bathtub. Running some warm water in, I lay in the warm water and dozed, while the screeches outside turned into thuds and whacks, and soon crashing and breaking sounds were heard.

I lay there for god knows how long after the noise had subsided(which was very long) before I unwillingly got up, drained the water and bathed. It was a long time since I had taken a bath since I left home. As I dried myself, my towel ran over the fire-shaped birthmark on my shoulder and I looked at it. For the second time in my life, I felt that something bad was going to happen in the near future. I tried to shake it off but couldn’t. The last time this had happened I got stung by a bunch of Beedrill and my dad had railed at me for god knows how long and I ended up behind the curtains with my mother trying to protect me. I decided not to brood on it so much. Whatever would be would be. I dressed myself in a loose shirt and shorts and opened the door.

Instantly I saw a Pikachu brandishing a loaded 44. at my new acquirement, who was sitting on the top deck of the double-decker bed on the left side of the room. Chick and Speary were lying face down on the ground with no doubt an engineered pool of blood made from tomato sauce and other ingredients that I don’t want to specify. They both had a broken leg and wing. Felix was threatening to fire a couple of rounds out of his gun and my new acquirement s******ed at him, applied more makeup on her face and attempted to charm him by giving him a seductive look.

“Get off it, Mandy, Felix!” Felix tried to hide his gun behind his back, but it did as much good as a Cheshire cat trying to hide its grin as my new Charmander leapt off the top deck, grabbed the gun and pointed it at Felix. Felix kicked the gun and it flew into the air and landed on the top deck on the other side of the room. The two pokemon began to stare each other down. Soon Mandy gave him another haughty look, spun around in a pirouette, whipped out the makeup kit and applied her makeup. I sighed. I had just gotten the female version of Felix. Just that she needed more money to replenish that makeup kit. She probably ferreted it out from my bag and used it while I was still in the bath.

“If you want it so much then take it.” I didn’t use it much anyway. Maybe if I didn’t give it to her she would kick up a big ruckus like Felix. Most likely on a lower scale. Felix would probably leave bullet marks all over the room. Bang bang bang. And I would have to pay for it. Not to mention it might hit someone and then there would be a real pool of blood on the nice shiny tiled floor. The most Mandy could do was to set fire and leave claw marks around.

I walked over, sat beside Chick and Speary, put my hand over them and began to heal and read their memories to discover what had happened. While their wounds were healing, I found out the truth. When I was done, I stood up and sat on a bed.


“Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gays and lesbians, autistics and dyslexics, perverts and rapists, pokemon and people, humble and proud, straights and unstraights, welcome to the…” A drum appeared out of nowhere and Mandy was playing a drum roll. “Show of Little Red Riding Hood: Reborn! It is made by pokemon, performed by pokemon, directed by pokemon, thought up by pokemon, produced by Felix Corporation and translated by projector and laptop and screen. Enjoy the show!” The Pikachu at the side of the “stage”(which was defined by an area that had stealthily been cordoned off while I was listening to Felix: I could read his mind to tell what had happened) ran out of the “stage”.

Speary pecked a couple of times at something near the top deck of the bed opposite me and a screen unfurled and an projecter instantly switched on on the bed above me. For an impromptu performance, it was efficient that everything was done during Felix’s speech.

Immediately Mandy strutted onto stage. Chick was fuming by the sidelines. Apparently Chick was supposed to be Red Riding Hood but Mandy was thought to be better because she could remember the lines and also do some other things that were better than what Chick could do.


Controlling the laptop and hitting the button as they say a line is hard. The translations appear word by word and with each word they said I had to press once. Precise attention. No time to rig up something to do it for me. I had spent a lot of time rigging up some things required already.

“Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum,” Mandy hummed as she skipped around the stage with a basket and a red hood. I had to click like nuts for this one.

“Today I shall sweettalk Grandma into giving me some money and sweets for bringing her things and visiting her. Hahahahahaha. And of course, I’ll steal the secret of her special makeup! Ahahahahahahaha!” 25 clicks. Damn. Mandy ran back in. Time to show part one. I threw a cube in, placed one with wheels at my side and picked up a remote control with some buttons and a screen while Mandy took over the laptop.

I hit a button and the cube next to me detonated, projecting a life-sized life-like hologram of me wearing a wolf mask(From now on I shall refer to this as I). I walked out like a wolf, growling, keeping my arms to myself. The real McCoy sat backstage, controlling the fake with a joystick and more buttons.

“Where IS MY LUNCH!?” I took a leaf out of Mister Maniac B*stard’s book. “I can smeeeeeeelllll foooooooood…OVAR DAR!” I pointed to a house that had been magically projected(Actually it involved a lot of technical jargon so you only need to know that I spent the whole time Rinoa was having dinner to do this) from the same hologram. I moved towards the house but it moved too so I chased it backstage.

I hit another button and the other cube detonated and a cardboard cut out house with what appeared to be three walls appeared together with a bed I shrank and robbed from the storage room in the pokemon centre. Speary was already in the bed when the dust had cleared. Great timing. The bed was right in the middle of the room with a desk on the left side of the room and a wardrobe on the other.

Mr Wolf kicked the holographic door down like some possessed sonuvva*****, gave a loud howl of, “LUNCHEON!!!” and chased after Speary. I finally cornered her in the top right corner of the room and my legs were right next to the bed. I grabbed her and ate her like nothing. In reality Speary just flapped and pretended to be grabbed and disappeared into the hologram and went under the bed where she could go backstage and take over Mandy. My stomach grew bigger. Immediately I began to search through the cupboard in search of clothes. When I I was done with preparation I dunked myself into bed and waited to see if more luncheon would come.

Mandy suddenly kicked open the house door without warning and rushed to the bed and began shaking me and talking like a madwoman, “Where is the damn recipe? Give it to me now you b*tch.” I denied to having such an object and proudly advertised myself as the wolf who chowed her grandma. Before I could eat her I was shot with a Desert Eagle. She then opened a window and yelled, “ Give me a ****ing axe you f*cktard of a woodcutter!!” When one did come she grabbed his axe and shot him, then carried on to slash open my stomach. A hologram of Speary appeared and she grabbed her by the throat and asked, “Where the hell is that bloody recipe?”

“The recipe’s on the desk,” she croaked feebly and a moment later she was shot dead. She took the recipe and left. Then everything disappeared and Mandy was pictured looking great and beautiful.

Speary flashed the “The End” message on the screen and we all came out and bowed. Just then we heard Brendan’s voice say, “Rinoa, there’s a play competition downstairs. Go take a look.” At this we all left the room.


Felix was over the moon. He was showing off his great inventions and propagating that he was great to have written and added sound effects to the play. I plainly ignored him and got into the bed on the top deck. The rest were doing a can-can together. Even though they won hands down, that didn’t give them a reason to deprive me of sleep. Soon, after threatening to stop feeding them if they make another sound, I managed to put them all to sleep. Only at 1am did I get peace and quiet to sleep.

I woke up the next day with Brendan attempting to break my door down. I quickly changed into my clothes(I forgot to brush my teeth and wash my face and all that) and headed for Mount Moon immediately after checking out.

What was the occasion? I was racing with Brendan and Serge to complete Mount Moon the fastest without taking the damned cable car or flying over it. It was to settle some stupid guy thing between them and I participated to ‘represent’ women in particular. At 10.45 sharp(After screwing countless hordes of wild pokemon and trainers) we began the race. We entered the first level cave and went our split ways. Brendan right, Serge left, centre for me. Soon coming to an dead end, I turned in Serge’s direction and moved on, following the route, avoiding trainers to the best of my ability, attempting to reach the second level. Serge was ahead, so I had to move faster. How did I know I was on the right path? There were trainers everywhere along there, that’s why I knew. Did you take me for a fool? And Felix had his nose taped. He wasn’t allowed to help out. You could never imagine how badly he was fuming all the way.


-Hoenn, Litteroot, a certain familiar residence-

“When are you going to tell her, Ruby?” Maria asked.

“When she reaches Cerulean,” the cold reply came.

“Are you crazy!? You know full well from your sources some trap is going to be set for her there!”

“Maria, if she cannot even escape that, god knows how she is going to beat the league, let alone me. And you too know that she will not live through the task we will set her if she is unable to pass this test. Even if no one did that, I would arrange one for her myself.”

“You actually know the contents of the test!?”


“Tell me!!”

“Martial arts. Why are you so afraid? Have faith in her.”

“I do!” Maria broke down. “I-I-I-it’s just that I’m worried for her!”

“Whatever for?”

“I’m her mother!”


-Mount Moon-

I kept my eyes peeled for Clefairy throughout my journey but I could not find one. The journey was probably nearing its end(it was now 12 noon) and I was getting more and more irritated(my face was become more like Felix’s). The minutes ticked by and just as I rounded a corner I struck gold.

Three human-sized Clefairy huddling together. One was round and fat, the other had a…oh, forget it! The third one was perfectly normal. As soon as I stared at them they looked behind and ran for their lives. I followed, knowing full well that if I caught one I would be filthy rich. The road they ran up got steeper and steeper, and we kept rising. They made a sudden turn and I followed. We emerged into a large cavern that looked like the stage for something. The floor was rocky but not that rocky, there were fragments of rock scattered around, the walls were rough and the entire structure was shaped like a dome. Suddenly a huge rock fell and covered the entrance.

“PIKAAAAA-!” Felix yelled but suddenly disappeared. I smirked then realised the Clefairy weren’t here. No one was except me. I ran forward to the walls and pressed around in panic. Where was I?

Suddenly I heard a voice that chilled me to the marrow. I prayed that it wouldn’t be him and spun round.

Too bad for me. My premonition last night that I had gotten while drying myself had come true. In the worst way possible.

I was soooooo dead.

-End of Chapter 9-

29th August 2005, 9:58 PM
;330; Great chapter. I have a question for Felix. If Jack plays up once more, does he want to help severly maim him?(We can't kill him, it would ruin the joke).

;359;Serge and Rinoa sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Question to Serge. Do you like Rinoa? Question to Rinoa. Do you really really like Serge? Question to Felix. Do you hold any opinions on the couple?

;373; Well written, good length. Description I'm not gonna go into. Question to Mandy. Are you really that vain?

;307; Question to Chick and Speary. How can you put up with Felix and Mandy?

;249-d; Question to Felix Don't(Gagged)

;330; Just ignore Jack.

Felix Feral Fezirix
30th August 2005, 7:23 AM
Okay... I can't figure out who's Jack!(I'm guessing he's Mr Dark Lugia... he's going to become the next big chow...)
Thanks for providing some questions but I think there are some sensitive questions that will be conducted separately for each character so that no harm shall be dealt to anyone in anyway...(Especially Felix's opinion on the relationship. He'll be hung for it if his trainer reads his mind)

Guess who the guy is... if you can't thou art a fool.

30th August 2005, 10:37 AM
;005; ;075;
Well, Felix... I dare say Rinoa is in lurve... Or something...
Anyway, for reviewing's sake, your fic is funny to a certain extent, but I dare say single sentences of mine are slightly better...
Oh well...

Oh, and Ski wants to know where Felix keeps his stuff.

El hariyamer
30th August 2005, 3:27 PM
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
Mr Oydoggy would like to know where Felix learns advanced laptop modding so he can add a holoprojector and where does he learn advanced Pokemon language translating, advanced holoprojecting (Grade A) and advanced theaterical language analyzing?

30th August 2005, 4:09 PM
;330; Yeah Jack's the Dark Lugia guy. OK, but I really wanted to know what Felix thought.

The True Champion
31st August 2005, 2:20 AM
Very nice the chapter was pretty funny but acouple before were more but that was because this was a more serious chapter. Felix is the coolest! I have a question for Felix does he like Mandy since she is the female verison of him? Keep up the good work lookin forward to chapter ten!!!!

1st September 2005, 8:14 PM
OMG...can't read anymore...head going to burst *head explodes*...........................xD!! Owowowowowoowow, that hurts...this fic is crazy?! Pikachu is funny as hel*l, though I think it's a little wrong for him to get beatings all the time xP though he does ask for it...I love the sign board it's awesome! Rinoa totally changed too. In the prologue, she was quiet, and in the first chapter she stood up for herself and showed some back bone (which her father promptly destroyed xD poor girl...)then she became a real mischief maker with Felix at her side. DAM*N! I think she beats him because she was beat, so she kinda retains that habit from her childhood. Again, Felix is hilarious, he shoulda totally kicked that Gyrados's as*s though, I mean it's Water and Flying! Some say FISH STICKS! Seriously, no matter how strong it is, it should still be toast (I know I said fish sticks, but I like toast better :) so :p). Overall, I like it, and I'll read the rest laterz.

9th September 2005, 10:40 PM
FISH STICKS! only because you asked. geep going *does odd dance *to some people* for you.*

13th September 2005, 12:53 AM
NO! Please don't stop it's getting very good! ;280; ;249-d; ;315; :meowthbal :025ball:

14th September 2005, 12:01 AM
this is the best fan fic i have ever read i nearly wet my self when hairy came out and felix went "WHAT THE ****!!"

The PikaMew Fanatic
14th September 2005, 10:19 PM
Pretty good fic. Very funny.
*;025;: Hey Felix, can you show me how to make a bomb?*
*;025;: Lousy @#$%! *
Do you think you could give Felix an extra beating for me? He's teaching Pika to curse. Armor, care to help?
*;348;: Gladly (evil smile)*
*;025;: O_o meep*

24th September 2005, 3:47 PM
When are you gonna make Chapter 10?

Felix Feral Fezirix
24th September 2005, 8:26 PM
I'm doing it! Sorry for not posting for so long. ^_^ But I've been around for darn long and didn't post... and did you grab all that from my siggy Tazzari? Please be a bit more original and read the newbie help thread to find out how to put animation in your siggy. And you can take the chain sig if you want to but NOT MY TC INFO AND MY BISHIE!!! You're lucky I'm not evil around here or you'll be toast. Period.

Dragondude, do you want Felix's rear end served sunny side up or down? It would help a lot in his punishment thanks a lot. And don't worry in chapter 10 he's going to take a bad beating. Very bad.

;025; *Hacks Armor's head off with his sword* Creator, gimme a Police Protection order from dragond00d!

Never. And I don't see why he shouldn't kill you after you mispelt his name. Ah.

;025; You can't do this to me!

Don't worry, you'll live. Not for long though. Your rear end will be hurting after 10.

;025; ***-Mmmph!

No swearing in my post! get that right!

Some quotes that will be appearing very long away from now...enjoy while I write chapter 10. Exams are starting soon on my side so I won't be writing that much till 2 weeks into Octpber.



"No way...It can't be...so...you're the Maniac *******...it's not possible..."



Yellow once told me that Red told her that Pokemon could be scary, but they were basically kind, loving creatures. If the owner is bad and trains the pokemon to do bad things then the pokemon would turn out to be bad. But if you care for them with a kind and gentle heart, then they'll always be your friends.

"How...no...It can't...It's not possible...How could you be my twin brother!?"

:::Felix:::(And other affilates)

"Damn, Lucifer, will you please shut the **** up about the ****ing vulgarities?"

"Beelzebub-san, I don't want to curse you. It taints my holyness."

"I'm taking over, suckers."

No matter how much I (removed because of massive spoiler) Rinoa, we could never be together forever. She would disappear with the sands of time and I would be alone once more. I cursed my patheticity. I was more powerful than Rayquaza, Ho-oh, and the titans of Hoenn, and yet I too had to submit to the laws of nature. Why? Curse God! Curse Nature! Curse Deoxys!...? Wait, who was Deoxys? Another blank piece of memory I didn't retrieve? Then it all came back to me...

"No, you're not taking them! Never! I want to cherish them while I can. I won't ever share them!"



Those blue eyes and the weird fringe...I remembered the other her now...



That night was the happiest night I had ever spent in Rinoa's company, in that I felt bliss.

"Damn! Rinoa! Karmen!"

"I don't understand why she keeps calling me a pervert. I mean, those were just accidents."



""How about we take the route seperately?"

"What!? Some guy nearly killed you guys with metal encased pokemon!? That's like, impossible!

"Damn! You're really good!"


"So this is the guy you guys were talking about!?"


"You won't get me. Spirit of fire, arise."


"It's too late for you Rinoa. I killed Karmen. Now it's your turn. So what if you found out my identity?"

"Our paths crossing weren't merely a coincidence. Rather, this all happened because you met those three bunglers..."


"This is the site of our epic battle."




Well that's probably all and I didn't use a spellchecker, so...yeah, enjoy it!

The PikaMew Fanatic
24th September 2005, 10:51 PM
Sunny side up please. -evil smile and laugh-
*;025;: Run Fel -gets whacked with frying pan- ouch*

Felix Feral Fezirix
24th September 2005, 11:39 PM
;025; Wilson, not that, not that, oh my god, noooooooo!!!!!!

1 hour later

Two Felix's butts, served sunny side up to dragon_dude35d who gives an evil laugh and eats them*

Tasty? And what about the little previews?

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th September 2005, 3:45 AM
A little crisp.
*;025;: You are a cruel little man. Are you okay Felix?*
*;184;: Pie. ^__^*
Shut the &*^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*$!@$%#@#%$":<>#%($@ up!
*;184;&;025;: O_o*

25th September 2005, 5:23 AM
I'm doing it! Sorry for not posting for so long. ^_^ But I've been around for darn long and didn't post... and did you grab all that from my siggy Tazzari? Please be a bit more original and read the newbie help thread to find out how to put animation in your siggy. And you can take the chain sig if you want to but NOT MY TC INFO AND MY BISHIE!!! You're lucky I'm not evil around here or you'll be toast. Period.

Dragondude, do you want Felix's rear end served sunny side up or down? It would help a lot in his punishment thanks a lot. And don't worry in chapter 10 he's going to take a bad beating. Very bad.

;025; *Hacks Armor's head off with his sword* Creator, gimme a Police Protection order from dragond00d!

Never. And I don't see why he shouldn't kill you after you mispelt his name. Ah.

;025; You can't do this to me!

Don't worry, you'll live. Not for long though. Your rear end will be hurting after 10.

;025; ***-Mmmph!

No swearing in my post! get that right!

Some quotes that will be appearing very long away from now...enjoy while I write chapter 10. Exams are starting soon on my side so I won't be writing that much till 2 weeks into Octpber.



"No way...It can't be...so...you're the Maniac *******...it's not possible..."



Yellow once told me that Red told her that Pokemon could be scary, but they were basically kind, loving creatures. If the owner is bad and trains the pokemon to do bad things then the pokemon would turn out to be bad. But if you care for them with a kind and gentle heart, then they'll always be your friends.

"How...no...It can't...It's not possible...How could you be my twin brother!?"

:::Felix:::(And other affilates)

"Damn, Lucifer, will you please shut the **** up about the ****ing vulgarities?"

"Beelzebub-san, I don't want to curse you. It taints my holyness."

"I'm taking over, suckers."

No matter how much I (removed because of massive spoiler) Rinoa, we could never be together forever. She would disappear with the sands of time and I would be alone once more. I cursed my patheticity. I was more powerful than Rayquaza, Ho-oh, and the titans of Hoenn, and yet I too had to submit to the laws of nature. Why? Curse God! Curse Nature! Curse Deoxys!...? Wait, who was Deoxys? Another blank piece of memory I didn't retrieve? Then it all came back to me...

"No, you're not taking them! Never! I want to cherish them while I can. I won't ever share them!"



Those blue eyes and the weird fringe...I remembered the other her now...



That night was the happiest night I had ever spent in Rinoa's company, in that I felt bliss.

"Damn! Rinoa! Karmen!"

"I don't understand why she keeps calling me a pervert. I mean, those were just accidents."



""How about we take the route seperately?"

"What!? Some guy nearly killed you guys with metal encased pokemon!? That's like, impossible!

"Damn! You're really good!"


"So this is the guy you guys were talking about!?"


"You won't get me. Spirit of fire, arise."


"It's too late for you Rinoa. I killed Karmen. Now it's your turn. So what if you found out my identity?"

"Our paths crossing weren't merely a coincidence. Rather, this all happened because you met those three bunglers..."


"This is the site of our epic battle."




Well that's probably all and I didn't use a spellchecker, so...yeah, enjoy it!

Yeah! Ok, thanks for helping me and taking it easy on me!

Felix Feral Fezirix
26th September 2005, 10:12 AM
;025; I just came back from filming and I love my creator. He gave me ultimate PWNAGE!!! Well...I am a bit grossed out but I still PWNED! PWNED I TELL YOU!

Okay Chapter 10 is coming out soon but it's going to be quite short though...but Felix has ultimate pwnage in that one though. Right, any other questions?(There's this interview that I'm going to hold every ten chapters so any questions sent in will be noted. Well at least you can clear some doubts.Lol)

Felix Feral Fezirix
28th September 2005, 11:34 PM
Well...I double-posted because no one posted before me anyway...so...lolz.

As you may have seen around, Felix has been very active within my posts lately.

;025; Like the friggin' one above, or this one. Right, the thanks list. Darn can't read over the keyboard. I'm not doing this.

Then I'll take it. We have...*starts from page 2 top. Please do not take offense at the following* The true(st) champion, Sig(nature)CMugen, Legendary(Horse)Rider, Pegasus(mon), Umbreon lover(lurver.lol.), Dragon_dude(d00d)35d, Tazzari(You...win. I can't find anything to make fun of. O_o), *Page 1* Shiny Fly(ing)gon, Skiboydoggy(Skiing boy with doggy) and El Hariyamer(Sombrero d00d!).

;025; Damn, there's my script. Damn you creator. Anyway there's going to be a chapter one edit soon to clear up inconsistancies. Anyway here it comes!

First tenth chapter! The post 10-chapter interview will be added tomorrow probably. This chapter is a very fast-paced chapter, more of action than of talking. Keep your eyes peeled. There is a pretty gory part for those sadistic ones. Heh heh…I won’t tell you where.

Chapter 10
-Maniac B*stard’s playground-


What are the chances of survival and saving your trainer if you are up against a Machamp sealed in a metal casing in a sealed chamber? Near zero for a Pikachu like me. For an Alakazam like the one which teleported me here, away from Rinoa, it would be easy as pie. For a 0.6m tall, 6kg mouse? Okay…Real hard.

He lunged at me suddenly without warning. I leapt up, and attempted to kick his head but he grabbed my foot just as it was about to connect and slammed me on the ground right on the back. Next he flipped me over and attempted an ankle lock but I let loose an electric charge. Howling, he let go and I got up. We were equally matched. Or so it seemed. Immediately he lunged at me again. I ducked down and hardened my tail. As he passed me, I was about to trip him with my tail when he grasped me by the tail and rolled. I was dragged along with him and just as I was getting dizzy I felt my back crunch against rock and then my back was smashed against what felt like a metal knee and my body felt like it had been broken in two. Next I was hurled and my back bashed against rock once again. I fell and landed on the ground. I was paralysed by pain. Too bad that the pile of brawn had brains too. Now my back was hurting so much I felt like giving up. But this wasn’t a wrestling ring. I had already understood that. The ***hole had filled me in about what was going to happen. A fight to the death. The entire rock cavity of an arena was made by his metal-encased pokemon. There was no escape. Rinoa had to beat whatever she had to beat or she would die. I wondered what was happening to her. Somehow this gave me new strength to fight back, but it was too late. As my eyes shot open Mr. Smart Machamp had already lumbered over. Grasping my ankle, he transported me to a world of pain. I screamed as loudly and high-pitchedly as a Pikachu could.


He stood behind me with his deformed hands hanging limp at side. He twitched a finger and an android appeared.

“HELLO…MY…DEAR…GIRL…” The Maniac *******’voice boomed around the cavern.“I…TRUST…THAT…YOU…ARE…IN…GOOD…HEALTH…LET…ME …FILL…YOU…IN…THIS…CAVITY…WAS…MADE…BY…MY…GOOD… POKEM ON…TO…TEST…YOU…AND…YOU…ALONE…AND…OF…COURSE…THAT …YE LLOW…FREAK…DON’T…BOTHER…REACHING…FOR…YOUR…POKEBAL L S…THE…BUTTONS…ARE…SMASHED…DEFEAT…THE…ANDROID…A ND…Y OU…ARE…FREE…TO…GO…HOWEVER…I…THINK…YOU…WON’T…EVE N…L IVE…LONG…ENOUGH…TO…DEFEAT…IT…HAHAHAHA!” He disappeared in the next second, his evil laugh echoing. He actually thought of my welfare. Amazing. I looked the android and wondered what he came up with.

His voice echoed around again. “I…AM…WATCHING.”

Immediately the robot leapt forward in a lightning-fast kick that was coming towards me. I didn’t have time to respond before it planted its foot on my chest and pushed. I staggered a few feet backward. It followed up with another kick that went right into my head. Both of us hit the ground, but as it flipped back onto its feet I staggered to my feet. I had to wise up before I fractured more bones. The kick to my head wasn’t as powerful as the last but I was still seeing stars. It lunged at me with a punch but I dodged it by stepping to the right. It turned out to be a feint as it lashed out with its right foot. It smashed into my groin.

“Ugh.” I couldn’t even find the strength to scream. The pain had spread all over my nerves like poison spreading through your body and it had taken over, preventing me from screaming and numbing any sense of pain. I felt another blow to my stomach and I staggered another few steps backward. Then I felt a flurry of blows smashing into my stomach. Suddenly I regained my sense on touch, and I immediately wished I could be like what I was a few moments ago, oblivious to pain. The metal fists pummeling my stomach were picking up speed and I couldn’t do anything except feel the pain. Suddenly it stopped. I just stood there, stunned, relieved that it was over. Then a metal fist slammed into my chin and an instant later, a metallic foot smashed into my stomach. I felt myself spit out a spray of blood as I fell and landed on the ground, looking dreamily at the cavern ceiling. And I could hear the maniacal, cackling laughter of the madman as his creation put its foot on my head. It was over……

Or so they thought. I wasn’t going to give up. I took my chance to strike back, pummeling the android’s groin. It responded by lifting its leg off my head and bringing it down on my stomach. My stomach was now on fire. It then grasped my fringe and yanked me up. I howled in pain as I was dragged to my feet by my hair. As I resisted, the pain intensified as my hair tore from my scalp. When I had finally gotten to my feet, the android put a hand on my shoulder, and with the other hand threw the many strands of brown hair in its hand away. Then it suddenly wrapped an arm around my right leg and flipped me upside down and held me there. I screamed in terror and began to hit it with my fists, but I knew it was futile. A pile of metal can’t feel pain. Then I heard the sound of a rock being moved and turning my head to look at the ground, I saw a sharp point pointing towards me and it was getting closer faster and faster…

I realized at the last second what was happening, but it was already too late.



I heard my trainer scream. It was a sound that somehow drove fear into my heart. Anger too. A lot of it. And right now I was feeling incredibly p*ssed with the hunk of muscle twisting my foot and holding it against his chest like a treasure. I had it. I turned on my back, twisting my ankle even more but then I raised my other foot to the Machamp’s chest and pushed with both feet. It was surprised by this resistance and let go. I immediately whipped out my radio and tuned it to an inbuilt device called “Sound Effects” and hit play. Then I went over to the Machamp and stood toe to toe with him. A familiar music began to play and the Machamp’s eyes brightened. He recognized the tune. Good. Do or die. Now or never. Perfect.


Immediately we began to exchange blows. He lashed out with a punch which I easily ducked under and headbutted him in the groin. He responded by staggering backwards and lashing out with his foot at the same time. It hit me in the face, and I smashed into the wall. A rock fell and landed on my head, and something happened.

I began to feel adrenaline…no, it wasn’t even adrenaline. My powers were doubling, tripling, quadrupling! I rose up from the ground to the Machamp’s height. Something burst from my back, and my tail thickened, lengthened and toughened. Primal instincts raged inside me and I gave a loud roar that shook the cavern and sent rocks tumbling down. I felt like the ultimate fighting machine. Better than that stupid hunk of muscle. He had lots of power and some brains. Me? Now, big brain, big power! Somehow, I wanted to restart the music, and it suddenly did. We stood toe to toe with each other again, man to man and waited for the fight to begin once again.


-Lavender Town-

“I see. The time has come.” A voice said gravely.

“For what, Grandma? Wait. Is it time…?” A young boy answered. He was about 10. He had blue hair and black eyes that seemed to cover up everything that he knew. He wore a shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Yes…So the heavenly spirits predict. They sense his awakening soon. Destroy him before he truly awakens!” The voice said again.

“Yes, Grandma!” The boy answered enthusiastically.

“Put your years of training to use. Remember what you have learnt. Or you will never beat him now, much less awakened.” The voice warned.

“Yes, Grandma,” he answered in a very bored voice.


I heard a loud roar from nowhere that instantly filled me with energy. What was it? I didn’t care. I was so full of energy I felt I could tear that rustbucket apart, considering that it had just drove my right cheek into a sharp, hard rock. It was lucky that it missed my eye but it still left a rather deep cut. Better hurt than blind. The original purpose was to drive the top of my head into the rock. This time, curiosity nearly killed the cat. If I made another mistake like this again it would be a serious consequence.

I was now lying face up on the ground clutching my wound with my right hand. The android had apparently freaked out and ran to check the cavern for holes. I took my chance. I picked the bloodstained rock from the ground and threw it like a javelin. It missed. Big miss, considering it hit the ceiling of the cavern above the robot. It immediately walked towards me with an evil(well, somehow sinister) look in its eye. I tried to get up but couldn’t. It stood over me and leered. Than it raised its foot and drove it straight into my stomach.

“Ugh!” I clutched my stomach and rolled over onto my front. How did I get involved in this mess in the first place? Maybe I should have taken another path through the forest, then I wouldn’t have met the Maniac B******. None of this would have happened then, really. I felt fingers run through my fringe, and suddenly they tightened around a lot of my hair and yanked.

“Ahh!” My scalp felt like it was on fire. The android pulled me to my feet and let go. I clutched my fringe and glared at the android. It had a sadistic look in its eye(it just looked sadistic) and opened and dusted its hand. Strands of brown hair floated to the ground like snow. I was angry now. Who the **** did it think it was, grabbing me by the hair? Just as I was thinking about what to do next, it charged towards me.

--WARNING—Sadism in this Felix part. Please skip to the next perspective if you cannot take sadism.

I gave a loud battle cry and shattered my own radio with sound waves. I felt alive and my fur turned black. The black of night. Anyway, who cared about music? The Machamp looked a bit disturbed and dopey as it staggered backward in shock from my cry. Then I punched him. He caught it with one hand. I tried the other hand. He grabbed that too. I tried to hit him with my tail and he stepped on it and pinned it to the ground. No matter. Quickly(and by quick I mean as fast as Agility running speed for Pikachu) I planted my feet on his chest and pushed. He let go of me and fell backwards, stunned. I did a somersault in the air and landed on my feet. Then I ran towards him and tried a leg drop. He responded by holding me up with all four arms. But he overlooked one thing. I twisted as much as I could and barely managed to send one to the groin. He yelled in pain and dropped me. I crashed onto him. That was a lot of damage. I got up and stepped on his noggin. That would teach him a lesson. Well, he had four arms and two covered his crotch and the other pair his face. I stood beside his stomach, raised one leg perpendicular to the ground so that my legs were a single line and brought it right down on his stomach. All four hands left their positions and I took the chance to jump up high and land with my feet on his groin and his noggin at the same time. He screamed in agony, and also for mercy, but I simply grabbed his ankle, raised it up in the air and twisted it. He screamed in agony once more, and I twisted it harder. And harder. And even harder.


His ankle broke. I then seized the other one and twisted it too till it broke. Then I raised one of his legs in the air and then placed my foot on his knee and applied pressure till I heard the satisfying snap. I repeated it for the other knee. He was in a world of pain. He couldn’t even lift an arm or even scream. I worked my way up his body, fracturing every single joint or important point I could reach. His elbow, his wrist, his shoulder, his back, even tearing out his genitals and throat and leaving them squirming on the ground in a pool of blood. I lifted him up in the air. Somebody was gonna get hurt real bad. Somebody. And you knew who it was very well.

I slammed him against the wall, smashed his face against the wall and proceeding to grind it against the wall. He tried to resist, but he was weak with pain. I told you someone was gonna get hurt real bad. HAHAHAHAHA! Somebody got hurt real bad! I felt joy. I spun him around, kicked him in the noggin, stuffed my fingers into his eyes, opened his mouth, tore his tongue out and ripped him from limb to limb. Then, I left the severely mutilated corpse on the ground and drank all the blood streaming from his body before smashing the walls of rocks and finding my way to my trainer.


The android tried to punch me, but I stepped aside and tripped it. It fell on its face and dented it in. I laughed in spite of myself and I felt a metal fist sink into my already heavily damaged stomach. I doubled over and it kicked me in the face, then punched me in the face with its right hand once. And again. Then it dealt an uppercut with its right hand and I was sent flying. I then felt its foot smash into my chest and I landed heavily on the ground. I tried to get up, but it loomed over me and stepped on my scrabbling hands. Then I lifted my legs to try to kick it but it pinned them down with its arms. This left its crotch area open from underneath, and my head was right underneath.

“Yah!” My head bashed into its groin and I came away seeing stars. But I didn’t even dent it. Not one bit. Then it returned the “favour” by headbutting me in the groin. I cried out. Then again. And again. One more time. Then I summoned enough strength to shift myself a bit to the right and it missed, bashed its head on the ground and let go. There was another dent in its head. I got up and kicked its head. I got another dent in it.

Suddenly I had a brainwave. What would happen if I bashed his head in? Well, time to find out. I tried to punch it in the face but it grabbed my arm and twisted it aikido-style. I screamed and tried to make it release its grip but it maintained an iron vice-grip and I was trapped.


I heard a loud scream just then and smashed the rocks in front of me very hard. Instantly there was a loud rumbling sound. I pummelled the walls around me and the sound got so much louder. Then the rocks around collapsed, leaving mounds of sand. But this time round the path stretched so much longer. I ran forward and resumed my punching, but now I broke so much rock in one punch. Suddenly I heard another scream and the force that issued from me was so powerful that the rocks in front of me instantly disintegrated upon contact and this continued for a longer distance thean I had been punching. Giving a ferocious roar, I dashed through the tunnel, kicking up the dust of the rocks as I went.


“Your pokemon are healed!” The nurse said as she carried a tray towards the counter. Nowadays it wasn’t just Nurse Joy. Ever read about the caste system in India? Everyone had a job the minute they were born and the economy stagnated, stayed constant, and bored the people to hell. That was what was happening in the police force and the pokemon centre staff, but then the head of the centre or police station was always a Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny, depending on which one you were talking about.

Getting over Mount Moon had been easy. Plus, I managed to catch everything except the legendary Clefairy. I had wanted to search more for one but both me and my pokemon were exhausted and so we went to Cerulean to rest. Misty would wait till I ate something. I wondered where Rinoa was. I beat her rather easily but she was quite a good trainer. And besides, she didn’t seem to be the type to hunt around for pokemon. I expected her to have been waiting for me here. Something could have cropped up. I began to worry. What could have happened to her? Then I dismissed the thought. She was so tough and wilful, nothing could break her. Well, she could be here any moment. Just then my pokegear rang.

It was Rinoa’s mother. I answered the call.

“Hello Mrs Ruby?”

“Hello? Brendan, is that you?”

“I’m in Cerulean. Did my uncle ask you to check on me?”

“No. I need you to do something.”

“What the-!”

“No swearing, young man. Please very kindly go up to Mount Moon and see if Rinoa is there. And get her down.”

“What, she can’t come down herself?” I said. Suddenly she hung up. I swore, said a brief thank you to the nurse(who was looking at me interestedly), grabbed all my pokeballs and stuffed them into my bag and rushed off.


I screamed again in pain. It was twisting my arm so badly! I had it. I swung my foot over, kicked its head and it reeled back and let go of my arm. There was now a shoe shaped dent in its head. I laughed at it and it attempted to kick my chin with its right foot. I blocked it with my left arm and suddenly the foot smashed through my arm and fractured it badly, leaving my arm hanging on by the skin and the bone fragments flying everywhere. I cried out and lashed out with my right leg, my right arm clutching my left. It blocked with its left arm and my right leg fractured in the same way as my left arm and it kicked me in the stomach. Hard. I went down on my back and it stood over me, leering. Right then I was aware of only one fact.

I was trapped.

I tried to get up, but I could hardly attempt that without my skin stretching to a further limit and more pain shooting through me.

Suddenly it began to rumble and shake, then something like a landslide occurred. It started raining rocks. The android was having its head bashed in. I was getting hurt too, but I knew I had to try something to save my life.

A huge rock hit me in the stomach. I picked it up and threw the rock at my antagonist’s head. It missed, dropping to the ground far before it was supposed to hit. Another rock hit me in the head. I picked it up too. Then I threw it real hard at the rustbucket.

It was too busy flailing away at other rocks hitting its head but neglected the lethal one. Idiot.

The rock smashed right through the crappy skull and the robot fell to the ground. I summoned all the strength I had left and crawled over to the metallic corpse, looked down on it, and smirked. I beat it. Right now, that was all that mattered. I was going to fall asleep now. Then I heard something counting down. And it had already reached one.

“Zero,” The robotic voice counted emotionlessly.

There was a flash of light, and I began to feel intense pain all over my body. I felt my mouth opening and closing once before I hit the ground and all went black.
The chapter ended!
Rinoa: Hey, stop attempting to kill me, stupid guy.
O_o Attitiude.

Last call for questions for the interview *see top for details*. closing time: When I post. Probably tomorrow at...5pm on my side(GMT+8) Right. Pikachu has to sleep now(it is now 6am on this side) bye.

*Felix beats creator into subconsciousness*

The PikaMew Fanatic
29th September 2005, 1:00 AM
-me and Pika holding eachother in fright-
O_O Damn. -faints-
*;025;:Run and scream!!!!*

29th September 2005, 1:20 PM
... Not funny, little description, and way too much gore for a fic like yours.

You either do blood as an art or do not do it at all.

One of your worst chapters so far.

;006; Ahem, I concur. Besides, what is with the ankle snapping? Plus, the Maniac ******* is an idiot. Machamp should wield Earthquake against Pikechus. Baka.

Ahem, Charizard, not everyone is as efficient a move tutor as me.

;006; Bah.

The True Champion
29th September 2005, 9:32 PM
Nice chapter one of the best so far and i thought it was amazing how that power was unlocked in Felix. But i am willing to bet he will go back to normal before Brendon comes to help out. Keep it up!!!!!

30th September 2005, 8:25 PM
;249-d; Rayquaza's trying to kill me!
;330; Thanks a lot Jack for ruining the chain of shock. And what do you expect Jack, it's Rayquaza's favourite hobby. Anyway, great chapter FTMP, it ruled. SB can go fight Black and lose.

;373; FLYGON AWARD!!!! Yep, Flygon award for this fic. Well done, keep it up.

;307; Basically, if I read it, it's good. and I read it, therefore it's good.

;330; And of course Jack turned up, that means you've got an awesome baddy. I decided to save time and taser, gag and lock him in Rayquaza's cage before I rated, but after I read. Anyway, keep it up!

30th September 2005, 11:31 PM
... Not funny, little description, and way too much gore for a fic like yours.

You either do blood as an art or do not do it at all.

One of your worst chapters so far.

;006; Ahem, I concur. Besides, what is with the ankle snapping? Plus, the Maniac ******* is an idiot. Machamp should wield Earthquake against Pikechus. Baka.

Ahem, Charizard, not everyone is as efficient a move tutor as me.

;006; Bah.

i disagree i'v read awsome fics based on pokemon and this fic compared to his this is barney. keep going.

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st October 2005, 2:06 AM
Which...Barney...Legendary Rider? Please don't let it be the PURPLE DINO! AIEEE!

Yay! Flygon award! Yes! Yes!

;025; this post is being hijacked by Felix Hijacker Version 2.0.
I did the work, you stupid creator! Wow, no more wuestions for post10th chapter interview? I'll post it sometime later. And that darn human splashed so much black paint on me now I'm black and yellow!

Right, gotta get back to filming now you pesky hijacker!

;025; DON'T! Do it! Or I'll get dangerous.

O_o right...I'll let you fix machines for an hour 'kay?

*whispers* You don't want to know what happens when he gets dangerous. Feeling scared now Dragon_dude35d?

Hidden mew, you won't ever get to see Mr Black again. It's supposed to go in a third series if I get around to writing a trilogy. This is just something I would like to add just in case I don't write the third book(there is a high chance I might write the second). You'll see the other forms though.

Some info on Black:
Height: 2.0m
Type: Dark/Electric/Flying
Trademark move: ForeverZero(I know I ripped this off a game but then it does fit the effect.
Effect: Teleports all opponents to an area with incredibly high gravity where they will get squished before he sucks their blood and leaves. He doesn't get squished because he has so much power holding his body agaist the force is easy. And he is also prepared.
Dex Data: This pokemon has never been sighted. However, it is said that it is a vampire that works at any time of the day.

1st October 2005, 2:29 AM
Ok, first off, for those who believe that there are "rules" to writing:
you are wrong. Period, end of discussion. Writing is a form of artwork, and with artwork, there are no limitations. To place a limit on someone's creativity is wrong, and stupid, because then you don't get the author's best work. The only limit is the author's imagination. Anyways Felix, I'll have to read the rest of your fic. I'll give a full review laters, k? I just got back form work, and I'm very tired, and hungry, so I'll eat and take a nap and then review your fic. That ok?

Felix Feral Fezirix
4th October 2005, 1:30 PM
Right, teh first interview! Note: Chapter 1 has been edited.

Post 10th chapter interview!
Some random guy is hired for the interview…his name is Wilson(which is my name…funny). He’s fat, but able to keep things in control… and as creator of Felix I deny him authority to harm my namesake. (Felix:You can’t do that!) Yes I can. Shut up. (Felix: Mmmmmph!) That’s better.

Wilson: First up, Rinoa. (brings her to a room and locks the door and soundproofs it. Don’t worry, nothing evil is going to happen here.)

Wilson: First Question: Do you really really like Serge?
Rinoa: Me!? Well…… erm……Uh……Yes… Don’t you tell him!
Wilson: Okay we won’t. No more questions for you. Can you lure the pokechow machine here?
Rinoa: Glad to. *goes off to do her task*

Wilson: Okay… Now… don’t blow…
Wilson: Cool it dude, it’s just an interview. And we are filming this y’know.
Felix: Okay…Shoot b*stard, or I will do it for you. Seriously.
Wilson: Fine… Question 1: Do you hold any opinions of the couple of Serge and Rinoa?
Felix: Hang on. Let me wear a foil hat first. I hope it stops Rinoa from reading my mind. I would be happy to annihilate that loser called Brendan with the two of them and have them live happily ever after frankly… Yes I would. Very much. Although I wish they would-
Wilson: Let’s not dwell on adult topics, shall we?
Felix: Sorry for being too mature.
Wilson: Question 2: If Jack plays up once more, do you want to help severely maim him?(We can't kill him, it would ruin the joke).
Felix: Bwahahahahaha…I want to… It would feed my evil side well.
Wilson: Next: Where do you keep your stuff?
Felix: In a durable safety deposit box that is shrunk. You don’t see it cuz it’s painted yellow and somewhere on me, not to mention I take it out of the ultra small locker before enlarging it.
Wilson: Next question is seriously elongated but the summary is… Why the hell are you guys able to quote Caesar?
Felix: Ancient History appears in this story dimwit. It will do you good to read up.
Wilson: Okay……From where did you learn advanced laptop modding so you can add a holoprojector and where do you learn advanced Pokemon language translating, advanced holoprojecting (Grade A) and advanced theaterical language analyzing?
Felix: Go visit Green’s library sometime. His library is so full of information you would spent your entire ****ing lifetime sitting in a couch and reading.
Wilson: Okay…… Next: Do you like Mandy?
Felix: Why the **** would I like that b*tch? She’s so b*tchy it’s driving me crazy. I’ll rather kill Rinoa than like that b*tch(Sorry Rinoa…but you can’t hear me[Rinoa: I heard everything.] Uh oh).
Wilson: Okay Felix call in Serge for me please.(Felix staggers out like he just got turned into stone.

Serge: Shoot man, I haven’t got all day.
Wilson: Okay. Do you like Rinoa?
Serge: …I think we should leave that for another day. It’ll spoil the plot.
Wilson: Hang on…How did you know the plot?
Serge: Heard of laptops and PCs? Heard of the Internet? Heard of Wireless Connection? Heard of Broadband? Heard of Dial-up?
Wilson: Okay…Point taken.

Mandy: Charchar!
Wilson: Okay we need a translator. *Felix walks in with signboard*
Mandy: Shoot. *Applies some more makeup and brushes her fur quickly*
Wilson: Okay. Are you really that vain?
Mandy: Of course! If not why would I have taken Rinoa’s makeup kit? Come on, all girls want to look pretty, it just varies in different girls... For example, me. I’m on the end of the vain scale. Okay? Chick is probably at the other end, the poor thing. Hahaha.
Wilson: Ooookay. Call Chick and Speary in.
Mandy: Roger. *Mandy leaves. Felix remains*

Wilson: Okay guys listen up.
Speary: What?
Chick: Oh damn the ****ing b*tch… She’ll be sorry for that comment.
Wilson: You can insult Mandy for al I care with this question Chick: How can you put up with Felix and Mandy?
Speary: Felix is easy. He’s more of a practical joker. The stuff he does usually tries to make everyone laugh along… But sometimes he goes a bit too far or accidents happen. He’s a really nice guy. Mandy on the other hand is a complete b*tch. We’ll leave that to Chick to scream about. She’s perpetually p*ssed off with Mandy.
Chick: I agree with Speary on everything… That b*tch Mandy! She keeps insulting us and calling us flat girls or something like that. Like she’s not flat too! And she’s probably ugly, that’s why she puts so much makeup! To hide her ugliness! However the two of us are so beautiful we don’t even need makeup to look nice! Ha! That should teach her!
Wilson: Let’s end this before stuff gets too heated up. Okay this is the end of the first interview. Hope you enjoyed it!

The PikaMew Fanatic
4th October 2005, 4:51 PM
HA! Funny! I can't wait for the next interview.

4th October 2005, 8:23 PM
Hehe, that rules. Good to see Felix supports what Cina calls Felixshipping!(She would have called F x Mandy Unbelievableshipping, but she knows that will never happen and the retributon would be great).

4th October 2005, 10:10 PM
Ok. The swearing and viloence is way to much. I didnt like the flow to much.

8th October 2005, 3:55 PM
Then I'll take it. We have...*starts from page 2 top. Please do not take offense at the following* The true(st) champion, Sig(nature)CMugen, Legendary(Horse)Rider, Pegasus(mon), Umbreon lover(lurver.lol.), Dragon_dude(d00d)35d, Tazzari(You...win. I can't find anything to make fun of. O_o), *Page 1* Shiny Fly(ing)gon, Skiboydoggy(Skiing boy with doggy) and El Hariyamer(Sombrero d00d!).

What was that for???

Felix Feral Fezirix
8th October 2005, 6:43 PM
You do have to thank people. And I will not be as mundane as people who just go through the list like some stupid politician in my country does. Well, I made up some stupid terms for you to gag with. And I said take no offense. At least you don't fall asleep reading that.

8th October 2005, 8:07 PM
I think a funnier version of my name would be Shining Flygone with the wind!. Anyway thanks for the thanks.

Felix Feral Fezirix
8th October 2005, 9:23 PM
Well Look at my policy in the siggy. And it's hard to type in the dark with one hand in constant danger of hitting the monitor you know. Hehe. Okay, that was funnier but then... How about "Shiny Flygon(e with the wind. Ah, glare in my eyes!!! He's too shiny! He's too 1337! *faints*)" lol. Well, I should be getting some sleep. It's 3plus on my side. Right ctach you some other time!

9th October 2005, 3:51 AM
How come I don't get to be laughed at? I feel so left-out *cries a lot*.

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th October 2005, 8:28 AM
Sorry Tazzari, but I just can't find out anything. Well the best is Tazz(plex)ari(hurry), and thanks if you laugh your 455 off. Anyway there is something I would like to bring to attention.

I have decided on a rating finally: PG-12. Well that's what I think could be. Swearing en masse. lol. A...well...slightly mature scene...but only one...and it's going to be more censored than Felix's language. Well he doesn't swear very much from now on to keep the rating and in fact he undergoes change to stop swearing anyway, but then he still keeps his attitude. Which in itself is a problem. lol.

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th October 2005, 11:57 PM
I cannot and shall not edit post. It's the last night before the last day of my exams on this side. Right, to da point. 15 pages. That's a record! Here it is.

Hehe. Nothing to much to say this time. Just read. And enjoy. Or I’ll whack you with my new and improved signboard. Wait, Felix’s new and improved signboard.

EDIT: There is an edit due to my defiment of physics. Blastoise eating Thunder in water = anyone else with him also eats electricity. Also due to a technical error the red colour for the text has been removed. Also. Read above and find the irony.

Chapter XI(That's ridiculous. It's not even funny.)
-Showdown and tears. Not the water from your eyes. Ripping the paper kinda tear.-


“Ugh…” I opened my eyes. Everything was blurred. I tried to speak, but all that escaped my lips was a single croak. Damn, I was sounding like a frog now. My head hurt as if I had run headfirst into a wall while running. I could feel bandages around my head. A steady beeping sound was the only thing I heard. I tried to lift my hands to rub my eyes but only my right arm moved. My left arm was weighed down by something. So was my right leg. I felt something clamped around my right finger. I tried to lift my head, but couldn’t find the strength to. There was something covering my nose and mouth, but strangely I could breathe. It was cold, but the blanket covering most of my body gave me some warmth. I felt drained and exhausted.

Slowly, my vision cleared. I summoned all my strength and turned my head to the right slowly. A stand with a TV screen like thingy stood solitarily, a cord running from it to the thing clamped around my right finger. A steady series of beeps emitted from it at regular intervals. Suddenly it sounded familiar. I had heard it somewhere before.

I awoke and found my mother sitting on a chair. I felt drowsy. I thought I was in the forest seconds before. Where was the Pikachu? And what was that strange beeping sound…

I drifted back to reality with my answer and felt a chill run down my spine. Where was I? What was I doing here? Did the Maniac ******* kidnap me or something? I panicked, and quickly turned my head. There was nothing there. I was beginning to feel scared. What was happening? Where was everyone? Where were my pokemon? I tried to get up, but my strength failed me and lay still in bed.

I didn’t give up. I strained and tried to get up once more. I couldn’t move my hands to support me while I did, so I concentrated on trying to sit up. Soon, I felt my body leave the bed. I felt sweat trickle down my cheek. I…was…succeeding…I…slowly felt…my…body…rise higher…higher…

Suddenly everything went black.


“Rinoa, where are you?” I yelled as I jogged through endless rock paths, caverns, mountain trails, and other places. My running shoes were running out of batteries, and I had only searched half of the entire mountain range. Mount Moon wasn’t a single mountain. It was one of the many that made up a huge wall of fold mountains cutting off Pewter and Cerulean from each other. It was something to do with plate tectonics and plate collision, but I didn’t care. Right now I was searching for a missing friend. Serge, who was also helping, was searching from the other end.

I was now running on raw leg muscle power, although it was already in short supply. You still needed to use energy when running with running shoes. And my running shoes, although the same as Rinoa’s, the best in the market, it still needed to recharge by using it while walking or running or whatever. And it was also solar powered. Well, it was to be expected. After all, it was jointly made by the two most powerful companies in the world, the Silph Company and the Devon Corporation. And there were a lot of other features on it, but I didn’t have time to explore them right now.

I was sweating like hell and my legs were tired. My voice had also cracked and I had a ravaging thirst. I tried to lift my right leg, but suddenly I lost my strength, and collapsed face down. I tried to get up, but couldn’t. It was as if someone had severed all my muscles except those used for breathing, which I couldn’t recall right then. My breathing was ragged and right then, I knew I was going to die of thirst if someone didn’t come along and help me.

I felt something pop at my side, and a small blue thing ran right in my face, bent down and looked at me. “Mud?”

“Kipper, gimme some water,” I croaked. He obliged and shot a stream of water into my mouth. It wasn’t cold, and it looked disgusting to any passer-by, but it didn’t matter. Your life is more precious than your reputation.

“Hey Brendan, you okay?” I felt someone flip me over and then I saw Serge looking at me. “You don’t look so good. I think you should get some rest.”

“Hey, you got to Cerulean just six days ago and started searching today…I’ve been searching since a week ago…” I complained.

“Whatever. We had better get to a Pokemon Centre before you die of heatstroke,” he said, grabbing me and hauling me to my feet. “Arf!” The huge Arcanine appeared, shaking his head and lifting his left back paw to scratch his ear. Serge lifted me and draped me on his pokemon.

“What kind of retarded nickname is that? Arf?” I remarked.

He placed Kipper on his Arcanine’s head and got on. “Arf, to the nearest Pokemon Centre,” he calmly said. I stared at him, surprised. Then he smashed his fist into my stomach, which earned him a Water Gun from Kipper. Then we both started laughing for no reason at all. Even though my stomach throbbed painfully with each laugh.


My eyes instantly shot open, and I sat up and looked around wildly. I was in hospital. But how did I get here from wherever I was before now? The questions swirled around in my head. I got out of bed. The bandages and cast that were on me before were gone. Strange. I looked to my left and saw my bag and my pokemon. I looked closer. Chick. Speary. Mandy. All fast asleep. Everyone was here. Or was it? I quickly counted through again.

“Oh great,” I muttered as I realised who was missing. I quickly dismissed the questions swirling in my head and focused on the most important one. I pulled open the door, dashed out…

And tripped over a small yellow being.

“That hurt! **** YOU *****!” The signboard and the familiar voice ringing through my head confirmed his identity.

I got to my feet. “You are sooooo in a world of pain.”


Barely a couple of hours later, I found myself walking through Mount Moon once again, having been enlightened upon my plight before I awoke two hours ago. I was back in my adventuring attire and the only change in me was my ponytail, which had grown considerably longer. Felix had apparently also learnt hair dressing, cutting my hair to original length and tying up my ponytail, which he didn’t cut. Because he had no idea whether to do it or not. After the severe punishment I had meted out to him, he told me that I had been in a critical condition and explain all the different aspects of the items used on me. Which he got hit for when he touched on casts. I already bloody hell knew what a cast was for. The TV device was measuring my pulse, and the plastic mask covering my nose and mouth was to ensure that I got a good supply of oxygen.

Right at that moment, my saviour was enlightening me upon how he found me while doing his job, and he was no older than me.

“…I was supervising my group while they were looking sat some really cool stalagmite and stalactite formations and then I heard some rumbling. I asked my Zubat to take over watching then I ran towards the rumbling and saw this small path with rocks tumbling down the path and it was blocked up by boulders. So I got my Geodude to smash it with Rock Smash and then we ran up the path and found this cave where you were lying. Your Pikachu was beside you and then there was this huge tunnel that lead away. Yeah, that’s how I found you.”

“Uh-huh.” I said to the fat boy with black hair and red eyes strolling beside me.

“And I found something really cool too. I’ll show you later.”

“Okay. Thanks for saving me, uh…”


“God knows why the hell you have a name that rhymes with mine. I mean, Felix and Helix!? That is just stupid.” Felix complained. We ignored him. We passed a Pokemon Centre, and finally came to a cave entrance.

“Lots of trainers head up the mountain even though it’s longer and harder to get through ‘cause it’s really dark and you need light to get around, but a few like you have-”

“A pokemon that can emit light. I know.” I yawned and stretched. It felt good to be out of bed after a week being unconscious in one.

“Well, I shall begin my tour.” We stopped at the entrance.

“Can we just skip most of it and get to wherever you want to show me?” I said impatiently.

“Got running shoes? So that we can speed this up.” Helix said.

“Are you KIDDING? I have the latest version!” I said, showing off my red shoes.

“Cool! I heard there are a lot of special functions on it! And it runs so much faster than mine. I mean, it’s the first version.” He griped.

“Get over it. Let’s go!” I said.

“Let’s play follow da leader!” He said and dashed off. I of course followed, leaving Felix behind…or so I thought for a second.

“Watch out for Felix X!” His signboard proclaimed as he zoomed neck to neck with Helix on two feet. Well, neck to shin actually. “Two legs good, four legs better!” Felix said gleefully.

“Oh yeah?” Helix said, “Let’s take it up a notch!” He moved at his top speed.

“Four legs pwn!” Felix wrote before putting away his board and dashing after him. Then I had a serious doubt.

I upped the speed and caught up to them. “Do you know where we have to stop?” I yelled.

“Are you kidding? I know the cave like the back of my hand!” He exclaimed, “We’re reaching…STOP!” We screeched to a stop and Felix did a drift as if he were a car, sliding to a stop while turning 90 degrees. Which looked cool. But I didn’t care. Neither did Helix. We just walked up the small path Airy, Hairy and Fairy had tricked me onto as fake Clefairys.

”Hey, that was the pwnage!” Felix clamoured. “How can you ignore that? Hey!” He then chased after us.

We walked into the opening where I had entered. I could now see the extent of the explosion. There were bloodstains on the ground. No question whose it was. Metal bits lay everywhere. A huge black spot marked the explosion point.

“Hey, that tunnel’s collapsed. Ah well, I wanted to check it out… Hey, let’s go to the real attraction!” He walked on with Felix. I stood there in a daze. The tunnel… It had collapsed…but the entrance was still noticeable. It was made by something huge…around 2 metres tall. Did Felix get here through the tunnel? Or was he just dropped next to me.

My thoughts were severely interrupted with a huge whoop of joy. I immediately rushed over.

“W00T! W00T! THIS MUST BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I WANNA THANK MY MUM, MY DAD, YOUR ***, MY ***, EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE! AND ALSO-” Felix yelled and waved his signboard like no one’s business.


“SHUT THE MOTHERF*UCKING F*UCKING F*UCK UP!” Helix suddenly chorused together with me.

“Ah. Nasty,” he remarked.

A split second later he had, in a Chinese direct translation(in his own words), a foot biscuit on his head. Make that two. Actually, the product of a decade and a couple of dozen, the two largest of course being supplied by…well, you know.

“Well…I can still bloody grind a rail with footprints in my bloody face! Give it up for…” Somehow, someway, he pulled out a skateboard. God knows how he got the money. I mean, you already now where the blue hell he keeps it, but the money…

“Just in case you were wondering, I’ve been looting trainers everywhere we went.”

Ah. “What about Helix’s?” I asked, smirking as a very angry living being loomed over Felix. Sorry. Make that two.

“Nearly all of my wish list has bean fulfilled except one(good been/bean pun eh?), which is my everlasting wish for infinite boxes of pokechow, which you-” he glared at me, “-have the responsibility to satisfy, and I will not ****ing stoop to the level of looting someone whose name rhymes with mine. It’s fun to have someone like that for a friend.”

I merely rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

Oh yeah. Back to reality.

We were in this huge cave facing out. It was almost a one way view. A huge bunch of leaves obscured an otherwise majestic view, but the main event was a rail starting right in the middle of the cavity, running at a slanted level off the edge of the cliff.

“Back on topic. What is this rail for?”

Immediately Helix onslaughted me with a bunch of facts. Sometimes I just wonder whether Helix and Felix were ever related to each other.

“It’s supposed to be a legend,” he began, “That there was a secret area unknown to others. You can only access it from the air, and even then, few have found it, and swear to keep it a secret, either out of selfish reasons or because of the sign over there,” he pointed at a sign that I had just noticed. It said: If you happen to chance upon this place,


It was scary in its own right. Because the effect of the words looked as if it had been written in blood. I forced out the thought that it was real blood. It was too gruesome. I shuddered. Somehow I had the feeling it was human blood.

Back to Helix’s little speech. “Well, for whatever reason, this place is pretty much secret, probably because a lot of trees surround Mt Moon, at around this altitude. And according to my sources-” he whipped out a compass and read it, “-yep, this leads right to Cerulean. So if you ride it, it’ll take you right there. I’m going like now.” He whipped out another skateboard. Now I began to have serious doubts about Helix’s and Felix’s parentage. Maybe they were twin products of an act of sodomy(Felix’s note: Act of sodomy = ****ing an animal. Or having (censored for your sanity) with animals. Well, 3 letters. Starts with S, ends with X. Also referring to gender). Oh well. And please ignore that note Felix made if you already know the meaning. If you don’t, you have an IQ of a turkey. Was it 4? Yep, it was. I think you can learn lots of general stuff by living with Felix…

Back to the point. Helix readied himself. So did Felix. “Coming?” they asked.

I looked at myself and searched myself up and down. I was missing something crucial. “What the hell do a grind the rail with without a skateboard?”

Felix slapped a small hand to his forehead. He was leaning on his sign board for support, which said, “Gimme the running shoes manual before I pop a vessel. Please.” I rummaged through my bag and found the object in question. He leafed through it and then wrote, “Find two sweat bands. I’m sure there were only two on my last count.” Rummaging through my bag and flinging most of its contents behind me. Then I found it.

“Here.” I handed it to him.

The result was…stupid. He exploded and threw so many profanities at me that I can’t even give an exact recall of what he said. The point of which, of course, was to get me to put it on. The sweat bands were weird. They didn’t match. Each one had different patterns. One was half red, half blue, and in the middle of these patches was a small green and orange patch respectively, as in in the middle of the red patch the orange and the blue green while the other had four different roughly fingerprint size patches spread evenly apart on it, one light blue, one brown, one grey and one yellow. I put the second one on my left hand and the first on my right.

And I was then given a briefing.

“Right…we shall ignore that band on your right hand first, and zoom in on the finer aspects of the left one, seeing that it is the most crucial one currently…the different buttons indicate different modes on your running shoes. White is normal. Light blue is snowboard mode. Brown one is sk8board mode(he resorted to shortcuts to save space). Gray one is surfboard. Yellow is levitation mode.” Felix finished with barely a millimetre of space to spare.

“What the hell does that all mean?” I asked.

“You’ll find out. For now, our immediate use is the brown button. And don’t hesitate to use the sweat bands for their original purpose, because the buttons are fingerprint sensitive and can only be reset by the creating companies. I bet you a ***whooping that your dad already had it set for you.”

“I reject.” I ignored him and poked the brown button sceptically. Immediately my eyes widened as a huge board shot out from under my left foot and grew wheels. Only one word for it.

“Wow.” I stared at my feet.

“Let’s rock n roll then!” The “elix” duo hopped onto the rail, Felix first. I wondered how the fat Helix managed to balance the fat bulk on the rail. I stood there stunned, gaping at Felix until…

“YO SHE-*****, LET’S GO!” They both yelled as they disappeared over the edge.

My blood began to boil. And when that happens…somehow everything seems possible right then.

And that falls into the category of riding something you didn’t even know how to in the first place like you’ve done it your entire life. Or maybe because I read Felix’s mind like a skating guidebook thoroughly before even doing that.

Either way, I pushed with my right foot to move the board until I nearly was at the edge of the cliff. I had been heading at an angle so that I was going to run into the rail or fall off. Or both. And that’s when I did it.

Placing both feet firmly on the board, I jumped. The board detached and did a beautiful barrel roll before I landed on it again on the rail and grinded down it. Perfect! I was soon surrounded by the leaf canopy tunnel. Helix, slightly in front of me, gaped at me and said, “That pwned!” I ignored that, looked down and shuddered. I became suddenly aware that I was high up in the air. If I fell…I didn’t even want to think about it.

“W00T!” Someone yelled. And I snapped back to reality.

And realised the rail ended right in front of me. There was a huge gap. And a bit below and in front of me, rode Helix, with Felix further in front with a “THIS IS ****ING GOOD!” sign. Helix gave me a thumbs up sign, and that gave me the courage to do something I didn’t dare do otherwise.

The edge loomed ever closer. My heart was still. It required split second timing. My nerves screamed to jump. But I controlled myself.

Until the last moment.

I pushed and I flew up high, inertia and the force from jumping off the rail’s steep gradient propelling me forward. The board detached from my foot and did a couple of barrel rolls. Inside my ribcage, so was my heart. I could only pray I landed safely…

My board smashed into the rail, the impact knocking the wind out of me. Well, at least I didn’t fall off. I gave Helix a thumbs up sign right back as the board lock itself back into place.

“OLE!” Felix yelled somewhere in front, and Helix did the same thing moments later. I gasped as I realised what happened.

Another jump. Bigger. Meaner. And the other end facing away at another angle. I wasn’t sure if I could make it… somewhere in front and below me, Felix leapt again, spinning a full round in the air while his board did five barrel rolls before he landed. And that one…I’ll tell you later. The bigger threat was looming ahead. I felt scared. I didn’t know what to do. Should I jump?

Yes, My brain answered. At least you have a single chance of making it out of here alive. Well, off this rail alive.

I tensed myself as I slid closer to the edge. My knees bent slightly, ready to straighten and push me into the air. I had something else in mind though.

I jumped. Except I tried to spin 45 degrees so that I could land straight on it. And that went horribly wrong. In my opinion though. Inertia spun me further than that, and I began to look like a living top. My eyes were a blur. I saw green with little patches of blue only. And little yellow things flying around my head.

I smashed into the rail board first, facing the front, and I resumed grinding the rail. Or rather, the board did. And I gasped.

A turn in the path. Nasty. I was dead if I couldn’t figure out…

“Just enjoy the scenery! Let the board lead you!” Helix yelled. In the background, a familiar board said, “May the board be with you.” I smiled and suddenly the board jerked as it grinded the turn.

“Whoa!” I nearly lost my balance, which would have resulted in a long fall that would end with serious injuries, if not death. And then there was another jump. God.

I barely made it, jumping too early. I clutched my chest. Too close. And then another turn. Which made me make a downwards slanting U-turn. Imagine the roller coaster doing that. Then imagine you are on a skateboard with no safety stuff at all. Scary.

“Whee! Oh hey Rinoa, be bloody sharp, your part is gonna get really wild soon!” Helix yelled.

Which meant bad news.

A jump! I made it and immediately after landing there was a turn that nearly threw me off literally. Then a series of hairpin bends and a couple of jumps. Then I made it through another jump after getting past an area where the rail spiralled down, my heart pumping like crazy, and suddenly another hairpin bend spun me around and I saw a blue substance. It was crystal clear. The rail ended right there. The tunnel a little before that. As I realised what the substance was and I appeared back in broad daylight, someone told me to jump. I did, at the same time unconsciously stabbing the white button on the left sweat band.

“Waaaaaaaaa!” I yelled as I flew a few metres before splashing into the water. Which turned out to be a fast flowing river. Oh joy. How did I know that? The pressure of the water behind me pushing me forward at a high speed told me everything. I swam to the surface quickly so that I wouldn’t suffocate. Then I wished I hadn’t.

A huge waterfall loomed ahead. How did I know again? Well, the river ended right there and I could see the horizon, plus the current was incredibly strong here…Felix and Helix must have gone over…they were nowhere near. And then I did too.



I looked across the room at the fat guy smiling around with Felix. Actually, smiling was the wrong word. They both had big grins plastered on their faces. Apparently his name was Helix. His clothes were nearly dry, and he was sipping hot chocolate with Felix while I watched them. I was feeling hungry myself…But then I just had a heatstroke on the mountain. And Nurse Joy suggested I not eat anything.

We were in the room that Serge and I were sharing in the Cerulean City Pokemon Centre. Serge had gone out on some “private business”. I had wanted to battle Misty, but right now, my legs were tired and my wits dulled. I resembled a walking corpse with a white hat. I was sitting the bunk below mine, leaning against the wall, and watched as they began a game of “Scissors, Paper and Stone”. They were sitting on the floor next to the bed. The wet Felix was creating a huge wet spot on the ground.

I heard the bathroom door open. Rinoa walked into the room wearing her spare clothes, most of her damp hair tied in a ponytail. She was wearing a white shirt which didn’t say anything on the front and a pair of shorts that reached down to her knees.

“Did you get any for me?” She asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Yep. On that table.” I pointed to a small bedside table with a mug on it.

She strode over and picked up the mug of hot chocolate. Felix and Helix were now engaged in an arm wrestling match. Their grunts were the only thing that could be heard in the room. She glared at them, then walked over and sat down beside me, leaning on the wall like I did, and sipping her mug of hot chocolate.

We didn’t say anything. She stared into the mug while I tried not to doze off. It might lead to some embarrassing things…

“Sorry Brendan,” she said softly, “And thanks.”

I didn’t say anything. I turned my head to look at the wall.

“You didn’t have to spend an entire week searching on Mount Moon…My mum only asked you to search for a few days…Besides, my dad has a lot of connections…He should have located me by the end of three days.”

“Uh-huh.” I was trying not to fall asleep, yet I was zoning in and out. I was really gonna fall asleep.

“And thanks for saving us back here.”

That somehow charged me with energy. I turned my head and looked at her. She was staring into the cup. I studied her blue eyes. She turned her head towards me and smiled. “If you didn’t we would have been goners.”

“Well…errr…thanks. Even though I only got my dad to return it to me to search for you…” I said sheepishly, “And I didn’t plan on it to find and grab you guys on the way over from Hoenn.”

“I know, but you still saved us. God knows what would have happened if he hadn’t come along…” Her voice trailed off. I knew what she was thinking. When my Dragonite arrived from Hoenn, he had brought along all three of them, and while Helix and Felix had been good-naturedly talking to Dragonite, Rinoa was unconscious. And those nitwits didn’t realise that her head had been bleeding from a bad injury on a rock. Luckily it had been a shallow wound, but if they were stranded in the river for long, Rinoa would have been dead.

“Let me see your cut.” I sat up and looked her head over for the wound, but couldn’t find it.

“Here.” She sat up too, pointing a finger at the back of her head. I looked behind her and saw a small plaster marking its location.

“Ah. You okay?” I leaned back on the wall again.


“Say, what happened on Mount Moon?” I asked.

She sighed. “A long story.” And then she told me everything. When she had finished, I was shocked.

“What the hell…?” I said slowly.

“It’s true…” She sighed and drained the mug of its contents before standing up, walking over to the table and putting it down. She then turned around. “Hey, Brendan, can I sleep on your bed? I’m really tired.”

“Yeah. Chuck my stuff down, I’m too exhausted from running around for so long. And it’s already 10pm. You really need that sleep, and I do too.”

She smiled at me. “Thanks.”


I stood on the rooftop of a random building. I didn’t care. I only cared that Rinoa didn’t come looking for me at 2am in the night. I wanted some space to think.

Rinoa might have thought that I had escaped out last encounter with the Maniac ******* unscathed. That was what she said to Brendan before she slept last night. Well, she was wrong. Just because it didn’t show didn’t mean it wasn’t there…

A breeze blew, washing over me, taking away the heat, but not the phobia I had. Of myself.

I wanted to go back to the time and let myself be beat by the Machamp. I would rather face the physical consequences than experiencing the horror of my own actions.

What was it in me that gave me that desire? It was so powerful, it even killed that Machamp at its strength. It couldn’t have been me. It couldn’t. Only a monster could have done that, and I wasn’t! I was just an ordinary Pikachu. With extraordinary abilities yes, but deep inside me I never wanted all of this. I never knew my parents. I never told Rinoa I didn’t like it when she read my mind and delved into my memories. Because I could do the same thing while the link was there. And even though I didn’t want to, I was forced into her memories. She was neglected. Her father kept beating her, while her mother could only beg him to show her mercy.

Well, it was better than never knowing your parents. You never had comfort, no one could support you. You had to live on your own. Like in the Viridian Forest. I was the pack leader, the strongest, the one that everyone envied… Yet, I envied the others. I tried not to look into the trees most of the time, because I didn’t want to see a couple of Butterfree fawning over their new child, or a Kakuna Breaking out of its shell and smiling at its full grown parents.

I was a loner. No one comforted me. Everyone was scared of me. I was emotionless. Hard-bitten. Cold. Empty. No one had ever showed me anything but coldness. I had no parents to show me the meaning of love. No Pikachu aged older than me by five years dared touch me.

Wise men said that even the hardest criminal had love and warmth inside them. I was the only being alive that defied that saying. It applied to everyone. But me. I created an atmosphere of fear simply by opening my eyes. There was a reason I was untouchable.

It was because I had no mercy.

I strolled through the forest like I owned it. No one complained. I was a hardened hooligan as everyone knew, and no one dared challenge me. The last time I fought, I killed the sweet shop owner’s son. He was 5 years older than me. I still remembered the entire sequence. He wanted a fight to see who was the toughest. A boxing match. His family was rich, affording him the best equipment. It was the talk of town for weeks. And when we actually fought, he had the best of everything, gloves, boots, shoes, even underwear. He was a big bully. Many people were bribed into supporting him. It was either that or death. But people still supported me. I came empty handed.

It ended only one second. He charged towards me and I dealt a purposely fatal blow to his throat. It completely decapitated him. The crowd screamed in horror. I however, looked at my bloodstained hand, smiled and licked it clean. “Delicious.”

The crowd stared at me like I was a monster. I sneered at them. They didn’t know what true power was. Blood soon spread over the grass. I turned my back and left.

“Wait!” The sweet shop owner said, furious. He had tears in his eyes. “Give me back my son! You can’t just leave like that! I want compensation!”

I shoved him to the ground. “Compensation my foot,” I sneered, “Accidents DO happen you know.”

“That was no accident! You purposely killed him.” He yelled at me.

“DON’T. YELL AT ME.” I glared at him. “F*CKING *******, DIE.”

I kicked him in the stomach and grabbed the sharpest rock I could find. I stabbed it into him, ripping out his organs. I particularly enjoyed ripping out his genitals as he screamed in pain, and I left the heart for last. When he had died, I stabbed the rock right into his skull, stuffed his heart into his mouth and left to wash the blood from my fur.

As I was walking to a nearby stream, I allowed myself the rare privilege of an evil laugh that shot through the forest and struck fear in the hearts of both pokemon and human alike.

Of Felix.


I snapped out of my flashback. It was so vivid…and so like what I had done. I was scared. Was I fated to this? Was I going to be a madman? I shoved the thought out of my head. For now. It was some monster inside of me. Going to swallow me whole. Erasing my sanity, replacing it with madness. I then picked up the violin lying at my feet and began to play something sad. For the Machamp.


Light shone on my face, waking me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I peeked over the side of the bed and found Brendan peacefully snoring. I smirked and looked over to the other side. Both Serge and Helix were gone. I returned to a sitting position in my bed and checked my pokegear. It was eight in the morning. Just as I was about to clip the pokegear back on the bag strap, it vibrated and I found my mother calling.

“Oh f*ck,” I said, lying back into bed and using the pillow to cover most of my hair. So that my mum wouldn’t know I had long hair. She disapproved of it. Until, in her words, I was more “elegant and lady-like”. To hell with that.

I hit the ‘receive’ button.

“Hello Rinoa,” my mother said.

“Hi,” I answered.

“By the way, I’m okay with you having long hair you know. That stupid thing about elegance was something I said around 6 years ago. So…I think you fit that criteria now!” She chuckled.

“Let me guess,” I said in a mock tone, “I was being spied on?”

“Absolutely correct. I don’t have much time so I’ll just quickly pass you the message.”

“What?” I said lazily.

“Did you ever know you had a twin brother?” my mother said.

“I DO!?” Brendan immediately cursed at the top of his voice. Something along the lines of “Shut the **** up!”. Heh.

“Yes, you do,” my mother sighed.

“So…How come I’ve never seen him before?”

“He was missing. From the day you were born,” my mother explained.


“I want you to look for him while you’re travelling around. I’m not asking you to spend extra time in each town to look for him, but just try to find him as you go along. He should look just like you, except with red eyes. And no, don’t bother checking Brendan, he’s not.”


“Forget it.”

“Is there something that can confirm for sure that someone’s my twin brother?” I asked.

“Your birthmarks. Fine, they’re different. Yours is red and looks like fire right?”


“His is the opposite. Blue, water drop. Well, gotta go!”

“Bye mom!”

We hung up.

Honestly, I didn’t care about him anyways. Well, at least I didn’t have to go out of my way to find him.

An hour later I was standing outside Cerulean Gym. I was back in my own clothes. I was ready, but someone else wasn’t.

“Hurry up and finish that ****ing muffin before I shove it up your ***.”

“Not your, it’s j00.”

“Well, whichever! Just finish it already!”

Felix swallowed his muffin whole.

“Now let’s go!”

“Hey, I’ll have indigest-”

He was promptly silenced by a Spearow, a Torchic and a Charmander who all wanted lots of exercise.


He nodded with a white face.

We entered.

And found a young woman with red hair in her early twenties waiting for us in a completely devoid of water gym. Which was strange. Cerulean Gym was supposed to be part swimming complex and part aquarium. And they should be connected.

“I heard from Brock. Of course I want to test you to the limit. And everything here has been modified especially for you,” Misty said.

I gulped.

“I hope you have a swimsuit,” Misty said, “knowledge of how to swim and luck.” She smirked. “You’ll need it.

“I do have a swimsuit,” I said slowly. “But where do I change?”

“See any boys or windows around?”


“Then get to it.”


The thing about swimsuits was that before they were wet, they were annoying. Right then, I envied Misty. I had let down my hair, which reached down to my ***. I should get Felix to trim it slightly after this. Hmmm…

I studied the ground. There was the traditional chalk box on the ground, but there wasn’t a referee.

“It’s going to be videotaped.” It was as if she could read my mind. “Now stand in the box.”

“Right.” I obeyed.

Suddenly the ground split open and I fell into the gap.

“AHHHHH-!” I soon hit water, and it got into my mouth. I swallowed it and gagged. Chlorine was no good for my health. I surfaced, gasping. I coughed violently.

“You okay?” Misty had a nasty smirk on her face. That *****. Test me? Humiliate me, more like. I was so going to kill her. The thought of revenge was sweet.

“It’s a 3 on 3 battle. Get ready to be thrashed.” Misty sneered. “Starmie!”

“Starting with your ace already? Shame. Felix!”

“Ooh la la!” He smashed into the water with a surfboard of course, the trademark signboard. It was the right thing to do.

The entire battlefield had been turned into a swimming pool.

“Use electricity, you get zapped. Speak for yourself.” Misty said my thoughts aloud.

“You too.” I said emotionlessly.

I began to tread water. If I didn’t…I already had a scheme. If I used too much energy, I couldn’t beat Misty. With my life intact, that is.

“BATTLE START.” A computer voice emotionlessly said.

“Barrier!” Starmie conjured a colourful barrier.

“Brick break and Iron tail!” Felix smashed the barrier and tried to smash Starmie with his tail. Starmie of course, dodged it. But that wasn’t the point. It was high up in the air…

“Oh ****! Starmie, Barrier!”

“THUNDER!” I screamed triumphantly. Before the starfish could surround itself with a barrier, it became a fried fish. No doubt about that. A loud sizzling noise was heard whenever its charred body touched the water.

“Return.” I could have sworn that she was smirking. “Togetic!”

The white pokemon with pure white wings and weird shapes on its belly appeared. It was in the air…If the battle continued like this, I wouldn’t have to use my trick.

“Return!” The pokemon flew out, ready to smash Felix in the face. I decided to play along.

“Use the same move!” They clashed together, and where they made contact, a white light glowed. They broke contact and sprang back. Both pokemon looked dazed and out of focus. I grabbed the golden opportunity. Or rather white flying opportunity.



History repeated itself as the Togetic, a Normal/Flying type, was turned into another fried food item. This time, I dare say it’s chicken.

Felix smirked.

“Return. Blastoise!” Misty ordered out her final pokemon.

The huge turtle floated in the middle of the pool. Oversized. Whatever.

“Quick Attack!”

Suddenly I could see a victorious smirk on Misty’s face. “Hydrocannon.”

“****. Agility.” I telepathically said to Felix.

But it wasn’t aiming at me.

The huge water blast smashed me in the face and tossed me backwards. I smashed into a wall and slid underneath the cool water…

Turning red.


I dashed to my trainer and tried to help her. Blood streamed down the back of her head. Another nasty hit. There was a dent and some cracks surrounding it where her head had hit.

I put her my surfboard so that I could get dangerous without hurting her. and woke her with a small jolt.

“Ready?” Misty smirked across the room. She merely nodded.

“Hydrocannon again. Sweep the room.”

I was now a man with a plan. Or rather, a Pikachu with a plan.

Ever played Megaman? Ever seen them slide down and jump on the frickin’ wall?

I sprinted 45 degrees up the wall, getting closer to the Blastoise.

“Zoom in on that *****’s *******!”

Now I couldn’t take that one lying down. It was waaaaay too mature. **** that b*tch. Calling me a b*tch’s b*stard.

“Let’s end this sh*t with a f*uck you and have a ****ing nice day!” I screamed as I unleashed a Thunderbolt that utterly fried the Blastoise. Misty screamed in pain as the electricity surged through her body. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that my surfboard was plastic? Insulator of electrcity? Hellooooo. And Rinoa had enough sense to stay completely on the surfboard, thank you very much, even though she was a complete jack***. Which means stupid. Blargh. Don't you understand?

One problem.

He was still standing.

Blastoise was out of jack. A sitting duck. And yet…


My eyes widened. I couldn’t move. My heart had already frozen in terror.

The monster was fighting for control. And suddenly something hit me right in the face. I flew back and smashed into the wall. And all went black.



I grabbed my yellow antagonist and shook him.

“Give it up. Even if he wakes up, all his muscles should be torn. There’s no way he can still fight. That’s our special move.” Misty smirked.

I placed Felix on the surfboard. “Speary!”

My Spearow floated down.

“Crappy pokemon. Hydrocannon!”

I remained silent.

“Heh. I am assured of victory.” She said haughtily. Now I knew why the others were ****ed with Mandy. Too arrogant.

“Not yet.”


The Hydrocannon bounced off the Mirror Move twice in a perfect angle such that it flew right back. And Blastoise was outta it.

The attack smashed it and smashed its shell covering, splattering blood all over.

It was over.

And suddenly Speary had a white halo around her.

“Speary!?” We watched as her wings extended to its full length and beyond, the wing muscles tightening and toughening, her legs lengthen and thicken. Her beak became longer, Her entire body colour changed to brown. The plumage at the top of her head was that only thing that was not brown, but it was red.

A majestic Fearow stood before me and squawked.

For man is man and master of his fate.
Alfred Tennyson

13th October 2005, 12:08 AM
Good language is good,..... but too much of it is just...weird...no offence! But English, please, use English.

The PikaMew Fanatic
13th October 2005, 12:55 AM
Better and better.

Felix Feral Fezirix
13th October 2005, 4:11 AM
Dragon_dude: Thanks. Glad you managed to protect your PC. Now gurad your password with your life.

umbreot: Too much good language? O_o I didn't use any good language at all. I think. If not I'll be breaking my policy. I plead not guilty My Honour. It's a good thing, but I try to make it simple so that I don't end up messing up long words. Although Felix does use supercallifragelisticexpealitdocious on occasions(and I'm sure I spelt that wrong), I don't think that's good language. Hehe. Well, if you think that's good language, fine with me. Well, actually I'm thinking bad but that's not the point. Thanks for reading and posting! ^_^

P.S. to everyone: I'm in school waiting for my second exam to start. Bwahahaha. See you.

The True Champion
13th October 2005, 6:48 PM
Nice chapter it was amazing so action packed i don't think it can get any better. Keep up thr good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13th October 2005, 8:59 PM
;330;Sorry I'm late FTMP, but life comes first. Anyway awesome, and the evolution and quote were awesome. Plus Felix's past is amazing. I mean, it kicks Nylf's past out the window. Laiw(the Wailord, his name is still a work in progress) is still currently a rock in terms of history, and I'm digressing. Sos. Anyway awesome.

;359; Hmmm, maybe Brendan x Rinoa. It's certainly sweet how he spent a week looking for her, even though three days was the limit. And then getting his Dragonite to help find her. Hmm...

;373; Not going to spoil it, but I think I know who Rinoa's twin brother is. Anyway, Flygon fic. Well deserved.

;307; I read it! It ruled!

;330; No baddie, no Jack. Though he was impressed by Felix's psyco side. Now what's Felix going to think of that? *Jack let's out girly high-pitched scream*

Felix Feral Fezirix
14th October 2005, 2:52 AM
A little spoiler: Felix's different forms and triggers

Black: Psychotic, out of control mood or extreme emotional pain and stress
Grey: Extreme Righteous anger
White: Happy!(Super Mario RPG, do da, do da, Super Mario RPG, oh, do da day[sing to tune of some stupid song I picked up when I was young)
Blue: Angry. Very angry. That's when he gets dangerous(This isn't the most dangerous though...).
Yellow: Normal

Because exams are over, you may see the next chapter faster than the others. And today is a holiday! (;025; do da, do da) *;025; is set to the cotton field to pick cotton while Rinoa sews shirts and threatened with no pokechow if he doesn't get to it*

Take your time S.F. I can't expect you to errr... read everytime it immediately comes out. I releant the lesson that life comes first when I was reading 22 pages of CoF. And Saber told me to get a job. And my mom was screaming for me to get of teh compy and study for exams(which I didn't do in the first place at all...and I made it through easily)

Thank you Champ. I'm still headless because S.F hasn't sewn my head onto my body yet. I can't say a lot of stuff to you because I don't know how to make that kind of length of reply(^look up) with a one liner. Hmm...it must be my craptastic Literature skillz.

Well that's all for today-

;004; Oh my God, !Felix is picking the cotton! Go !Felix!

Well...If you figure out how to pronouce above sentence correctly you get a trial of using !Felix to do WHATEVER you want. Even kill Joe(Just kidding. Please don't go to that length). Well actually you can decide what he can do...he's going to be immobile in bed for a week

EDIT: 1337 Pikachu post hijacking machine equipped with delete message function. Source: t=64294&page=2&post=78

;025; Heh. That dumb creator and Rinoa hasn't noticed I rigged a machine to cut and bring in the cotton while I hijacked the post with teh trusty laptop. Hehe. Rayquaza is going to get chopped into three far far away into Hoenn. And it's till going to be the same fic. Imagine Jack, think. If Rayquaza dies, who takes over. And when that happens, Somebody gonna getder hurt leel bad. Somebody. I'm not gonna say who. But I think you might know him very well!

14th October 2005, 3:15 PM
So where is the next Chapter? Are you still thinking about it or do you have not much time?

14th October 2005, 8:46 PM
;330; I tazered Jack so he couldn't speak. I'm afraid to say there's always's two Rayquaza's, and a Ho-oh with the power of rebirth, who is the great, great, great, great, great uncle of said Rayquaza's.(They still call him brother since the rest of the sacred four reset their clocks when he is reborn)

;384; Yep, and I don't care how powerful you are, I have connections to a power that surpasses even yours. I'm surprisingly religous.

;250; We believe and all that nonsense. You kick our butt, someone else comes anew. And I'm immortal so you shouldn't even bother attempting to kill me.

;330; Yep, that's right you guys. I apologise for Cina, she's a nutter. Anyway, couldn't you think of better names for the Pigonchu than their colours?

;373; This coming from the guy who called a Flygon "Fly".....

;330; *Mutter* ****** Mobius Oh and I did sew you're head back on, I just couldn't post it since it's SPAM.

Felix Feral Fezirix
15th October 2005, 4:08 AM
They do have English names, but it would be spoiler...

Black: Psycho nut/***hat
White: Lucifer
Blue: Beelzebub
Yellow: Lord Pigonchu/Original Pigonchu/Felix
Grey: Duplicate Pigonchu/B*stard/Weirdo
Original Felix: Felix/weak boy/waterboy/loser

They have names because:

"**** you Lucifer."Beelzebub

"Beelzebub, I would kindly ask you to not swear in front of me."Lucifer


"Grrrrarrrrr..."Psycho nut

"Yawn..."Lord Pigonchu

"What the heck is going on in my brain?"Original Felix

Yeah, something like that. By the way this chapter should have been on last night, technically this morning at 0030 hours on my side, but my sis hogged the phone and dial-up crapped up... Heh.

;025; And my sword is sacred. Nothing can regenerate after it comes in contact with the sword. On the molecular level, all your cells will malfunction and you will be unable to regenerate. So I can slay j00 azz Ho-oh, and Rayquaza becomes my "good friend" later anyways....

Bwahahahahaha. Lame. Read on. Maniac ******* is the pwnage. Oh yeah, I think I’ll be adding quotes to the end of each chapter from now on until I run out. Heh. Okay, there’s some nudity in the chapter but the what the heck.

Chapter Dozen(Twelve. XII. Whatever.)


I sat on a seat outside an operating room. I was dozing off, my head nodding to one side. There were now a huge patch of bandages on the back of my head. Apparently the injury I got when fighting Misty had merged with my old one over the waterfall.


The red light disappeared from above the door. I looked up. Nurse Joy walked out of the room, wiping sweat from her brow.

“Nurse Joy, how’s my Pikachu?” I asked.

“Well, we’ve managed to fix up those tears, but even then it would have to take a week for it to completely heal,” I was about to ask something before she continued, “With or without using your empathic powers.” I nearly swore but bit my tongue. I wasn’t going to swear in front of her. I bet she had already asked Yellow. The Nurse Joys often talked to each other over the phone and I already knew that the Nurse Joy in Cerulean and the Nurse Joy in Viridian were well-acquainted. And the Nurse Joy in Viridian knew Yellow very well.

“Well, you can move to the next town first, and we’ll send it to you when he’s okay. Is that fine with you?”


“Well, then go.” She smiled as she left.

I smiled too. I could get rid of that annoying pest for a week! And that was pretty much all that mattered. Maybe Misty tearing Felix’s muscles with a special Hydrocannon attack was a good thing after all.

I strode out of the Pokemon Centre and walked behind the centre. I was about to find a way out of Cerulean when a big sign attracted me. It said: NUGGET BRIDGE! ACCEPTING ALL CHALLENGERS!

I smirked. I had the Cascade badge already. There was no chance in hell no one could beat me. I walked towards the bridge.

10 minutes later, I emerged from the other side, studying the silver nugget the stupid organizer had given me. I yawned. I should probably find some string and string the nugget through and give it to Mandy. The summer heat was getting to me. I was falling asleep while walking. Half-sleep walking I called it. And unwittingly I wandered into the tall grass. I ran into another trainer 1 month older than me which I smothered Mandy.

Then I wandered out and walked around. It was so relaxing without Felix beside me; no one to berate, yell at, bash the head in, attempt to do away with the marker or stuffing up the oral cavity. Peace and quiet all to myself for once. Chick and Mandy walked behind me in sullen silence. I kept Speary in her pokeball. I didn’t want her to get carried away. Flying. No, not by Team Rocket, but getting carried away flying around in the sky and enjoying herself. And I couldn’t go after her all the way to Cinnabar and come back and get the other badges. Well, something like that.

I wandered North-east and then I strolled around. Which spelt big trouble.

“Hey kid, let’s battle!”

“Show me your fighting skills!”

“Hey, let’s battle!”

“Yo *****, let’s battle!”

“Let’s…see…how…you…can…beat...me…Yawwwwwwn.” “Slooooooowpoke.”

‘Hey you! Let’s see you get thrashed!”

“Why are you staring at my boyfriend, *****? You like him right? Let’s battle to see who’s more worthy!”

“Hey, Amigo, let’s see your mad fighting skillz.”

After the flurry of battles that had come my way, I was so bored I actually walked into a streetlight. I staggered back to the Pokemon Center to put some ointment on my bruised forehead. And I was also seeing stars. Well, I thought I was walking to the Pokemon Centre before I tripped and fell over something.

I moaned. Today was horrible. Well, it would have been worse if Felix was around. He would have been laughing his *** off right about now. My forehead and the back of my head hurt badly.

I felt a shadow loom over me, and I opened my eyes.

“How are you feeling kid?” A Bellsprout said. But it wasn’t an ordinary one. Instead of a bell like thing for a head, it had a human head with white hair and brown eyes. “Sorry for making you trip over me.”

“What…the…****…” I said slowly. “I think my brain must be addled.”

“No it’s not,” the Bellsprout pinched me.

“I must be going insane after spending so much time with Felix then.”

“NO! I’m Bill, and I was perfecting another transporting machine that could transport ANYTHING to trainers via their pokedex and the parcel system could have utilized it to benefit people like you. Trouble is, like 20 years ago, I hooked something and the machine started up. And some freak accident happened and I switched bodies with a Bellsprout which is currently in my mansion lab. And I need someone to bring me in and switch me back.”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“Because I’m not tall enough and the guards will see me.”

“…You know I know someone who could do that and no one would notice, but he’s currently in hospital.”

“Well then you do it!” Bill screeched.


10 minutes later I had ferreted out all of Felix’s various gadgets in my bag. And a good thing he packed them with instruction manuals each. They were computer processed, which made it easy to read. And we were huddled inside a surprisingly pristine Dumpster outside Bill’s mansion and lab.

“Who made all these?” Bill said.

“My Pikachu.”

“What the hell!?”

“It’s true.”

“God, look! A homemade grenade launcher, tear gas or real thing or smoke grenade, a modified C4 for distraction rather than explosion, improved night goggles with static for knocking out opponents by touch of goggles, an automatic machine gun, a ninja suit that is invisible on radar or any other device that tracks location, and…POKEDOLLS!? Hey, no instructions on how to use them…”

“Those are mine!” I grabbed them from Bill. I was about to stuff it into the bag when I decided not to.

“I’ve got a plan.”

“Hey, there’s even more stuff inside!” Bill jabbed at my bag.

“Well then we can make the plan more foolproof.”


I woke up and sat up. And looked around. And…hmm…I was sounding like Felix. Then again, how the hell did I know how he sounded like? Forget it.

No one was in the room. The occupants of the messy opposite bed were gone. I looked up to the top bunk and it was empty. I got out of bed and checked the one above me. No one there either. Then I checked my pokegear.

“HOLY CRAP!” I quickly dressed and left the room, picking up all my things in the process.

I rushed outside with an angry Nurse Joy glaring after me. I couldn’t believe I had slept till the sun had set. The sky was inky black. I ran to Cerulean Gym, hoping it was still open.

No one was in. “Hellooooooooo! Anybody home for me to thrash?”

No answer. I cursed myself for listening to my mother to “search until you drop”. Sometimes, my mother was still lame. Anyway, I had wasted a week looking for someone I didn’t even want to look for.

“It’s already nine ****ing pm. Go back.” A female voice said.

“C’mon. Just this once won’t kill you. I’ll make it quick.”

“Oh. Confident. Well, JUST THIS ONCE. And if it drags, you’ll be swimming 500 hundred rounds around the pool.”

“What pool?”

“Just get into the challenger’s corner and remove all your electronic stuff.” I did so.

“Now hurry up!”

The back of the Gym opened and Misty walked in in a bikini. I tried not to look at the wrong places and instead bored my eyes into her skull.

The ground slid open under my feet and I fell. I was too busy concerned with doing the right thing than to be surprised by that.

Immediately after I heard the splash I looked down. I was in water. I was surprised.

“Heh. Foiled your plan, did I?”

“No.” It didn’t matter where I was anyway.



A huge form appeared in the water and caused a huge splash, flinging most of the water out of the pool. My view was obscured by a huge orange bulk. He flicked his tail experimentally and a small scale tsunami swept towards the wall. Misty’s eyes widened.

“Ice Beam!”


In a second the pool turned red as a crushed blue starfish nine arms spurted blood from openings on its body. My Dragonite yawned and flicked its tail to get rid of the blood.

“Togetic!” Misty yelled, withdrawing her bleeding Starmie.

“Blizzard,” I yawned as my Dragonite grasped me, flew up and fired a huge blast of cold wind that would definitely have made hell freeze over. A solitary flying figure stood on an ice pedestal wrapped by ice.

“Grrr…Blastoise!” She threw out a huge blue turtle with cannons on its back. It stood straight up and gave a loud cry.


A few thunderclouds gathered over Blastoise. It used the ice to skid from under it and kept moving.

“Ice Beam!”

It stopped in the corner and shot a beam of ice.

“Block it with Fire Punch.” The flame from Dragger’s hand melted the ice before it even hit him. The thunderclouds loomed dangerously over Blastoise, and before Misty realized what had happened, a charred, blackened body lay on the ice. I collected my badge and my money and Technical Machine before withdrawing my prized pokemon and leaving.


The lid of a Dumpster opened and a figure crept out. But not stealthily like you think, but loudly. With a crash and a bang, the figure fell out of the Dumpster and the object in question toppled over the figure. He or she whimpered and with great difficulty, shoved the Dumpster to its original position before hiding in it again. There was a window above the Dumpster, and it was now open, a head looking out and down into the murky darkness to find the one who had made the noise. Finding nothing, it withdrew into the house and the window shut.

In the Dumpster, Rinoa pulled off the mask and breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. She had nearly been discovered. She sat on the bottom of the fancy trash can and stretched her legs as far as she could, her waist pouch at her side. She blinked as something began to rattle in her pocket and took it out.

“What the hell are you sitting here for? Get in and switch my body back!”

“Hang on! I dunno if any guard saw us…”

“Well then check!”

The girl shook her head, her ponytail shaking from side to side. “What if they really find out?”

“I know my guards better than you, you little daughter of a-”

“Don’t make me crush your pokeball and use the broken shards to stab you to death like one of those voodoo dolls. And then I’ll have all my pokemon pee and sh*t on you and blow you up with a real C4. And I’ll rip the genitals off your real body too.”

“Okay…” Seconds later an audible swear word was heard, at which the pokeball cracked from force exerted on the outside.

“I heard that.”

The girl stowed the pokeball in her pocket and carefully lifted the lid of the Dumpster and attempted to creep out again. This time, she threw the lid right back and did a back somersault out of the fancy trash bin, landing perfectly on her feet right outside the Dumpster and shutting the lid. Then she climbed on top and jumped, grabbing hold of the windowsill. Bit by bit, she pulled herself up and opened the window. Checking there was no one, she hauled herself in, shut the window and dived sideways into a dark room with an open door just as a guard walked down the corridor.

She quickly hid behind a king-sized bed and consulted her live, breathing map. “Where’s the lab?”

“Down the other end.”

“Any other rooms nearby?

“Yep. Opposite side, further up. And this is my room, if anything happens, you-”

“I volunteered to do this in the first f*cking place, so I can just leave you here and leave. Now shut up.”

She pulled out something from her pockets. It was a weird, grey box. She hit some buttons and placed it on the floor, before peeking out of the room and, seeing that the coast was clear, dashed and dived into the nearest room, hid behind the nearest large object and consulted the “map”.

And so she repeated that for five whole minutes, once nearly being caught when she was seen diving into the next room. Hiding in the closet, the guard missed her. Finally she was in a room right next to the lab. Hiding under a bed.


“What the **** was that?” Three voices said simultaneously. She heard footsteps and quickly peeked down the corridor, seeing all three guards running towards the bomb. She ran out, threw some pokedolls towards the opposite end and hit a button. Then she ran towards the lab door and twisted the knob. It was locked. She took something else out of her pocket, stabbed it into the keyhole and twisted it. The door opened, and she dashed in, locking the door behind her. Then the heroine removed her mask and tossed it on the ground.

“Right, Bill, what the heck am I supposed to do?”

-Somewhere else-

“Transporter link set!”

“Cable connected and working!”




10 minutes later, after jabbing countless buttons and typing incomprehensible commands, the machine was ready. I stuffed him into one side, and the Bellsprout with Bill’s body on the other. It was quite funny though: the Bellsprout’s small head and Bill’s big body made a hilarious combination. And vice versa.

“Ready?” Bill nodded. I jabbed the final button.

You might have asked if I knew what was going to happen next, would I press the button? I don’t know myself. But one thing was for sure.

You could never undo some actions.

Maybe it might be a swear word in front of your parents. Maybe a harsh phrase that hurt the ones you loved. Maybe a blow that killed someone. Maybe an action you would regret your entire life.

Or something that severely endangered your life.

The heads switched place. But that wasn’t the point.

Right after that, the door opened and both Bellsprout and Bill fell out. And something else appeared.

I gasped in horror.

The Maniac ******* stood in one capsule. His face was hidden by the hood of his cloak as usual. And in the other was another hooded figure, much like my antagonist, except that that person wore brown and his? hers? its? hands and fingers were covered by the cloak. Well, at least that person seemed normal. His feet were touching the ground, unlike the Maniac *******, hovering over the ground and he had no feet.

I started. Two Maniac *******s in one city was no good. One was bad enough. Two? God save us.

Unexpectedly, the first one turned to the second one and said, “YOU…YOU…AGAIN…BACK…IN…THE…FOREST…HOW…ARE…YOU…GOIN G…TO…STOP…ME…THIS…TIME…?”

The second guy turned towards me and jumped. I screamed, frozen to the spot. Somebody tackled me to the side.

“Rinoa, you okay?” Bill asked.

“Y-yeah…” I looked up just in time to see the Maniac ******* following his opponent through a window facing towards the back of the house, where I had been in the way a second earlier. “Go get help… I’ll fight them.”

“You can’t.” Bill looked at me. “You’re pale and shaking. If I let you go out there…” His voice trailed off. “Stay here. Take this as a favour.”

I shook my head. “There’s no other way. I have to stall them until help comes.”

“If you get hit, you could get killed in this state,” he berated me.

“I won’t.” I got to my feet shakily and rushed out before Bill could respond.

I ran like my life depended on it. The guards saw me and tried to shoot me, but I heard Bill yell, “Stop!” and the firing ceased. It was too late though; a bullet had found its mark in my shoulder. I covered the wound with my other hand, my gloves soaking up the red liquid pouring from my wound.

I dashed out to the Dumpster, opened it and got in, neglecting to shut the lid. I tore the suit from my body and the hair pins in my hair, the cold air battering my naked body as I got back into my own clothes, stuffed the suit into my waist pouch, and strapped the pouch around my waist before I heard a huge explosion and I was thrown out of the stupid bin as it flipped over and skidded. The back of my head hit something, and warm liquid trickling down the back of my neck told me my wound had reopened. I couldn’t waste any more time. Getting up on my shaky legs once more, I dashed towards the back of the house.


I lost my appetite looking at the person in front of me eat. He was wolfing down the fried rice he had ordered and even licking the plate. I looked down at my bowl of ramen and decided to eat it all before I succumbed and gave it to him.

Helix looked visibly annoyed as I ate the last of the noodles and drank the soup. Suddenly a short sequence of notes played, and we listened carefully to Nurse Joy’s voice over the intercom. The second she repeated it, we rushed to the front counter of the Pokemon Centre.

A man in his forties awaited us along with Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy.

“What’s wrong?” I said.

“Whazzup?” Helix’s voice was muffled by a couple of garlic bread in his mouth. He probably nicked them off a table.

“Your friend is in danger,” the man said.


“Feraligator, Blizzard!”



“AHHHHHH!” I screamed as the attack blasted away the Blizzard and made contact. The force threw me back and I hit the ground.

“Nkh!” It was the thousandth time I had fallen, and this time round, my back smashed against a rock, leaving me in pain.

I opened my eyes and staggered to my feet once more. A Dragonite coated in metal armour grinned triumphantly as the huge crocodile crashed to the ground.

I released my pokemon while I had the chance. I was also in shock. Dragonite had used Blast Burn, a move that only the Charizard family could learn. Mandy’s eyes narrowed. I could feel the anger she was feeling. The ******* had defied the laws of nature, giving sacred moves to those who didn’t own it. Speary sympathized with Mandy. Chick…just went along for the ride. I grabbed my chance.

“Drill Peck and Flamethrower!” All three pokemon combined their attacks, firing them at the metal titan lording over the battle already. It had no effect.


“I’M NOT LITTLE!” I yelled back. How dare he insult me.


“DRAGON CLAW!” A Kingdra sprang forward and stabbed its claws into the Dragonite’s eyes. Dragonite’s eyes suddenly blazed, and I watched in horror as he sank his teeth into the other pokemon’s stomach and ripped out his intestines…


“Let’s go! What are we waiting for?”

“No…Serge is not here yet…”

“To hell with him! There’s no time! We have to go before…”My voice trailed off and I choked.

“If you say so.” He hopped into Officer Jenny’s car, squashing me with his fat bulk. The car zoomed off. I gritted my teeth, clutching Dragger’s pokeball in one hand. Nobody messed with my friends. Especially when I had a Dragonite. No one could beat Dragger. His performance with Misty had already showed his invincibility…

The car screeched to a stop. “Boys, we’ll have to stop here. Any closer and we might take some damage. We bolted out of the car and turned on the running shoes.

The car had stopped in the hedge maze before Bill’s mansion. We ran like our lives depended on it. Then I decided to do something else.

“Dragger!” I hopped onto my trusty friend of four years’ back. “Move on ahead!” We left Helix behind.


“You try and catch up, I’ll move ahead and help!”

Suddenly I heard someone scream. I decided to take it up a notch.

“Use Extremespeed and get up ahead quickly!” Dragger nodded and hit the maximum speed he could go. Within a minute we saw a small red shape in the distance, surrounded by other shapes that looked as if they were lying on the ground which disappeared into a red light that went back to the red figure. That had to be her. But there was something bigger near her. I looked closely and gasped.

A metal Dragonite! But that was impossible. We reached there within the next ten seconds. The metal hulk stood over another hooded person in brown. Its eyes were completely red.

“Dragger, Fire Blast!” I yelled as I got off and ran to Rinoa, lying on her front. She looked hurt. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head. “My back…”

“I’ll help you. C’mon.” I stretched out my hand, which she grasped and I yanked her up.

“Is that your Dragonite?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, it’ll beat that guy’s into a pulp, no problem. You go-”

“Look behind you.” She said so softly it was almost a whisper.

I spun around.



I watched as Brendan sank to his knees. I walked over to him. “Let’s get further back,” I told him gently.

Tears were streaming in his eyes. I felt pity for him. But I couldn’t do anything. Chick and Speary were unconscious, blood streaming from their beaks. Mandy was barely alive. I couldn’t let her fight.

I looked up and felt my own tears well in my own eyes as the metal Dragonite tossed the other Dragonite it had just impaled in the chest with its claws away.

“FOOL…HOW…DARE…YOU…CHALLENGE…ME…IT…DESERVED…IT…MWA HAHAHAHA!” I felt so sick I wanted to throw up. How could he think nothing of killing a pokemon? Anger blazed in me. Now I wished I had Felix. He always came through, was always reliable, never ready to accept defeat, even down to the point when his muscles were torn. I could still remember the expression on his face while he struggled.

I felt Mandy’s pokeball rattle. I put a hand to it, stopping its rattling.

“No.” Brendan got to his feet. He lifted a hand, and the Dragonite shot back to its pokeball. “We can’t give in…”

“Sneasel, Icy Wind.” The other hooded figure had gathered up all his Kingdra’s intestines, and withdrew it into his pokeball, and was now unleashing another pokemon.

“OH…? DIE…FULL…POWER…FIRE…BLAST…” The fire blazed around the field and the hooded figure shielded itself from the fire. But his Sneasel came up from behind and froze the Dragonite to the spot and causing it what should have been immeasurable damage that should have knocked it right out. But it didn’t. He spun around and dealt the Sneasel a powerful Dynamic Punch which went right through his body. Then it withdrew his fist and flicked the blood from it. The Sneasel was near death, and his trainer quickly withdrew him.

“Go Kipper, William!” Brendan yelled. The two pokemon appeared, a Mudkip with an angry expression on its face, and a male Nidoran with eyes lolling around like a nut. Suddenly a flash of light shot from my pocket, and Mandy appeared. She was breathing hard.

“Mandy, no!” I stretched out a hand…

And watched in amazement as the healing began to take place. I had completely forgotten about my powers. Soon, Mandy stood her ground, ready to fight. Brendan was amazed too. And a brainwave hit both of us at the same time.

He handed me Dragger’s pokeball, and I took out Speary. Then I tried to heal them.

I waited. And waited. But nothing happened. I was almost screaming at myself.

“Rinoa, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know!” I released my frustration.

“Calm down and think. There’s a reason why it’s called empathic powers.” He put an arm around my shoulder. I concentrated. But somehow, my powers…

My eyes shot open. They were being blocked.

“It’s no use. Someone, somehow shut them down…”

“Then what do we do?”


We looked behind. The Bellsprout that had been involved in the entire freak accident had waddle up. “BELL!” It glared at the Dragonite.

I couldn’t understand it, but we got the gist of it.

“Water Gun, Poison Sting!”


“Bell!” It suddenly shot to twice its height. It was now my height. Brendan’s attacks were ineffectual. But Mandy…Instead of using Flamethrower, a huge beam of fire shot from her mouth. Blast Burn. It smashed into the side of the Dragonite, and it howled in pain.

“WHAT!?” The Maniac ******* spun around.

“Now.” A Gyarados, Ursaring and Murkrow appeared together, the Gyarados shooting forth a Fire Blast to surround the Dragonite and burning it steadily, while Ursaring charged up with Fire Punch, and Murkrow attacked with Drill Peck. The attacks together ripped a hole in the otherwise inpenetratable armour.

The Bellsprout gave another cry and doubled its height again, towering over me, while Brendan redoubled his efforts for revenge. Mandy somehow recharged in record time, firing another Blast Burn

The combined efforts of all the pokemon wore the dragon out. It was panting, its bleeding eyes dripping blood. It was now that I began to wonder how he managed to see even though he was supposed to be blinded. His trainer decided that enough was enough.


The three titans stood side by side. They towered above the others. Before any of the other pokemon could respond, the trainer issued the fatal command.


The energy beams shot from their mouths combined to form one huge beam that obliterated everything in its path. The hooded figure was first to go. His pokemon disappeared, and he did too.

Maybe I was hysterical. Maybe I relied too much on Felix. Whatever it was, I screamed, “FELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!”


My eyes shot open. I thought I heard Rinoa’s voice. I tried to dismiss it as a figment of my imagination, but then… Like an old man, I began to recount memories…But I didn’t even know half of them.

It was a sunny day. I stood on the edge of a cliff, the wind blasting in my face and rippling my fur. I heard footsteps behind me, and looked behind.

Sylvia stood behind me, her brown hair flying in the wind. Her blue eyes stared at me, and she had a smile on her face. She looked so much like Rinoa…

“You said you wanted to give something to me, O Lord Pigonchu , now where is it?” She said haughtily, hands on her hips.

“Nothing. Just a trick,” I lied, smirking. I looked out over the cliff so that she wouldn’t see it.

“Hand it over, or I’ll mess up your office again.”

I acted like I was scared. “Okay okay, I give! Here.” I walked up to her and handed her a whistle.

“What’s this?” She fiddled around with it.

“Something to get me when you need me. I’ll come. It’s special. It has two tunes. Pretty much sounds like when you’re screaming my name. Another one of my inventions. Now if you’ll excuse me, good day. I’ve got a meeting to attend with Rayquaza.” I smirked, then turned to run off the cliff, flapping my wings and shooting into the air. I looked down one last time and saw her waving at me and as I shot into the horizon, I could still hear what she had yelled.

“Good luck!”

I felt myself exert a great power from my body before I fell unconscious again.


Suddenly, a huge Light Screen appeared out of nowhere, shielding us from the devastating attack. We still felt the pain as the attack hit us, but as much as the real thing. We were all thrown backwards, and quickly withdrew our pokemon to shield them from getting hit again as the beam made a return sweep. The other hooded figure was gone, probably disintegrated and currently mixing with the other atoms.

Crazy as it seems, the Light Screen changed into a Mirror Coat. The powerful attack was reflected at the three titans that were combining forces to do it. It smashed them in the face, knocking out all three. They collapsed to the ground, making the ground shudder like an Earthquake attack had been used.

The remaining hooded figure seemed in shock. And then he spoke, “YOU…MAY…HAVE…WON…THIS…TIME…BUT…NEXT…TIME…YOU’LL…B E…DEAD…!MWAHA…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” With that, he disappeared into thin air.

I looked over at Rinoa. “What was that all about?”

She didn’t answer. She stood like a statue, her eyes lifeless.

“Hey Rinoa, talk to me. Hey!” I walked closer. “Rinoa?”

She suddenly fell to her knees, before collapsing onto the ground.

I ran towards her and flipped her over before shaking her. “Rinoa, Rinoa, wake up, don’t scare me. Hey!” I slapped her face. I put a hand under her head and felt something warm trickling through my fingers and wetting my fingerless gloves.


Too much experience is a dangerous thing.
Oscar Wilde

The PikaMew Fanatic
15th October 2005, 4:58 AM
*;025;: Felix, you are totally RADICAL!*
I have just one thing to say about this: AWESOME!! And I'm guessing that Pigonchu means dra(GON) (PI)ka(CHU). Am I right?

15th October 2005, 5:41 AM
wow......(Speechless) (in a good way)

15th October 2005, 1:08 PM
;330; Man that was quick, and sorry I'm late(for me!). PIGONCHU RULE! Awesome cliify. Over to the rest of me!


;373; Since you got fed up of Cina screaming all over your post, I gagged her. She was also about to scream about something else that SF got after we were relaxing from coursework. Anyway amazing. Have I given this the Flygon award yet? 'Cos if I haven't, it's got it now!

;308; I evolved! All these great fics have caused me to evolve! This is so cool I can actually move my legs! Anyway I read it, so you now get the neww and improved Omi award!

;249-d;*Gagged, Tazered and locked in a pen with Yellow, Rayquaza, Shadow Lugia, Lugia, Ho-oh, all of whom are very annoyed since Jack started poking them repeatedly with a stick*

15th October 2005, 3:32 PM
*;025;: Felix, you are totally RADICAL!*
I have just one thing to say about this: AWESOME!! And I'm guessing that Pigonchu means dra(GON) (PI)ka(CHU). Am I right?

If that were true, how can it happen in the first place? I mean, Felix being half dragon? Just plain weird...

The PikaMew Fanatic
15th October 2005, 3:44 PM
Dude, the title is "Felix the MUTANT Pikachu". Of course it's weird.

16th October 2005, 7:42 AM
Dude, the title is "Felix the MUTANT Pikachu". Of course it's weird.

It may be weird, but not that weird! I mean, how would he be able to be half dragon in the first place? What might have happened that turned him into a dragon? [Soree, I just like finding-out new stuff! XP]

Felix Feral Fezirix
16th October 2005, 7:48 AM
;025; I decline to comment on my past 58- *is smashed over the head by a tool that will appear next chapter probably*

It is Dragon Pikachu. It's his nickname by the world he lived in, although someone had enough guts to shorten that...Big guess who. If you can't figure it out you will be smashed over the head by the unknown tool. PM please if you want to confirm. lol. Although I guess you won't need it.

One more thing. *Has Yellow transform into Black and suck all Jack's blood out of him, following up with the rest. Blargh, hungry Pigonchu wanna saaaaahhhhk j00 blahhhd...

Oh yeah, the final final final final team at the end of everything should be:

Shiny Shuckle(EDIT: Scratch that Shuckle. Should be blank spot)
Shiny Tyranitar

lol my drawing is bad... And Skiboydoggy and El Hariyamer keep saying that it sucks to hell. Help me gather some evidence that it is better than Ski's crap...just kidding. Some links:

Shiny anything
20th October 2005, 9:44 PM
hey great story,ive been reading it for a long time now but ive never replied, i dont know why......Well keep up the great work!

20th October 2005, 9:48 PM
On the pictures. First one is hilarious, second one is disturbing.

El hariyamer
22nd October 2005, 8:34 AM
Greetings, Mr Antpikachu. About the pictures, I would allege that you are an aeolist, but being eleemosynary, I shall simply say that you were probably nebulochaotic when delineating those.

29th October 2005, 12:28 AM
I just read your fanfic. I like it, but a little to violent for me. BTW, what is Felix's origin? I'm sure lots of people would like to know. Anyway, keep up the good work! ^_^

29th October 2005, 1:12 AM
Which...Barney...Legendary Rider? Please don't let it be the PURPLE DINO! AIEEE!

Yay! Flygon award! Yes! Yes!

;025; this post is being hijacked by Felix Hijacker Version 2.0.
I did the work, you stupid creator! Wow, no more wuestions for post10th chapter interview? I'll post it sometime later. And that darn human splashed so much black paint on me now I'm black and yellow!

Right, gotta get back to filming now you pesky hijacker!

;025; DON'T! Do it! Or I'll get dangerous.

O_o right...I'll let you fix machines for an hour 'kay?

*whispers* You don't want to know what happens when he gets dangerous. Feeling scared now Dragon_dude35d?

Hidden mew, you won't ever get to see Mr Black again. It's supposed to go in a third series if I get around to writing a trilogy. This is just something I would like to add just in case I don't write the third book(there is a high chance I might write the second). You'll see the other forms though.

Some info on Black:
Height: 2.0m
Type: Dark/Electric/Flying
Trademark move: ForeverZero(I know I ripped this off a game but then it does fit the effect.
Effect: Teleports all opponents to an area with incredibly high gravity where they will get squished before he sucks their blood and leaves. He doesn't get squished because he has so much power holding his body agaist the force is easy. And he is also prepared.
Dex Data: This pokemon has never been sighted. However, it is said that it is a vampire that works at any time of the day.

the purple dinosaur that sings to little kids

29th October 2005, 1:51 AM
*Pant! Pant!* I finally caught up. Gosh, that took me a freakin long time. Anyway here I am. Great writing Felix. It has changed a lot since the beginning of the book, but I guess that is to be expected. Felix and Rinoa sure have developed a lot since the last time I read. Keep it up.

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th October 2005, 1:54 PM
Quick thanks: Shiny Flygon, Shiny_Deoxys(congrats on completing that short marathon!), legendaryrider, Americanpuppy104, dragon_dude35d, umbreon_lover, Tazzari, Shiny_anything. No time to make up list.

Has no comment on my fic being called Barney. Umm...It can be taken in different opinions... And Felix's origin is a major plot point, so don't worry about it. I'll keep dropping evil little hints though. Hehe.


Okay. I’m not good at describing clothes, so sue me. Graaaagh. Go ahead and crap about horrible description of clothes, but of course there has to be something *else* about your talk...And I want my cookie.

Chapter 13 (Unluckiness! AHHHH!)
-The Maniac B*stard’s numbers: Deathtantz Scyther Part 1-


I walked through the streets of Cerulean in my spare clothes, looking around for something that would serve a very special purpose once Felix returned to my team.

Seeing another tool shop around the corner, I walked in. I smiled as I saw the item. I walked out of the shop with an evil glint in my eye and a devilish smirk, holding a plastic bag in which the item was concealed.

“Hi Rinoa!” Brendan walked up to me with a can of Pokecoke in hand. He took a sip from it as he asked, “What’s in there?”

I opened the bag and took it out.

“HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT FOR!?” I smashed him over the head with one end, stuffed it into the bag again and ran as fast as I could back to the Pokemon Centre. And hoped no one heard.

I rushed back into our room, quickly shut the door and hid the bag in my bag after shrinking it to an ideal size. Which was quite small.

The door opened and Brendan walked in massaging his forehead. “What was that all about?”

“Nothing.” I walked out of the room to get some breakfast. I looked at my pokegear and groaned. 5 more days. Well, at least I was prepared for it. Now Felix had to stop making so many wisecracks.


Checking to see that no one was looking(especially Helix, who was as nutty as Felix, who had taken to hiding under the bed, in the bathroom, in the clothes cupboard, under the mattress and various other places despite his fat bulk), I opened Rinoa’s bag, and expanded the object and took it out. It was dangerous. Very dangerous. I shuddered to think how long Felix would have to stay in hospital with each use. Although I guess she should have learnt her lesson from two nights before.

After the whole thing, she had fainted on the ground and I had to carry her all the way back to Bill’s mansion where they got an ambulance, while Helix, somehow, someway, ended back at the centre eating Pikachu blend Pokechow(I swear to god that was true) and apparently he got lost in some hedge maze Bill had in his back yard. Dragger was probably now in Johto, under the care of Clair, the Dragon Master of Blackthorn. I could only hope he had gotten better. Of course, my mother sent me another threat to “do the right thing”. And my mother’s death threats were usually…shall we say…barbaric and uncivilized. In the sense that castration was minor. Needless to say, I try to avoid trouble from my mother at all costs.

Back to the point, Rinoa ended up in hospital for a couple of nights to get enough blood pumped in so that her cells got enough air. Specifically her brain cells. Or she might just get even dumber. I mean, she can’t even spell television. That is crazy.

Serge later showed up out of nowhere next morning. Of course I was angry he wasn’t there, we got our ***es kicked big time while he was “hunting for pokemon somewhere south of Cerulean”. Apparently he didn’t find anything too amazing as he didn’t have any new pokemon.

I had been unconsciously twirling the item in my hand when Helix suddenly stormed in, acting like a nut. And of course…

“EEK! OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT S-” I promptly smashed him over the head with the lethal end, making sure he only got knocked out. I quickly hid Rinoa’s insurance against Felix in her bag as…

Speak of the Devil.

Well, it was quite literal. He was dressed like some evil satanic representation, with horns on the head, the traditional trident in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

“Get lost.” Rinoa just happened to enter just then and kicked him aside. “Gimme my bag, Brendan, and I’m going to hide my-”

“Forget it. Look there.” I pointed at a certain spot.

“Oh ****.” She said as she realized what had happened.


The room was deadly silent.

“I need the gents.” I scrambled into the toilet, dragging Helix with me.

I quickly dashed in, shut the door, plugged my ears and shut my eyes, afterwards doing the same for Helix too, except the last one. Shutting his eyes, if you couldn’t figure that out.


[WARNING: the following scene is incredibly violent. Please, don’t try this at home.]

If Felix wasn’t too angry about now, he would have seen imaginary smoke rising out of my head. I was ****ed and angry. One, because Nurse Joy played a trick on me. Two, because he had come back early. And I had had this hope that I would have another 5 days of peace and quiet.

Felix spun around and was going to leave the room. I walked ahead and locked the door, at the same time holding my insurance behind my back.

“Wad der hell are you doin’!?” he said with a slight Indian accent. It sounded funny, but now wasn’t the time for jokes.

“Ever heard of Misty’s mallet?” I said, hiding my face from him, letting an evil smirk spread across my face.

“What the **** about that?”

“Here’s the new and improved version.” I swung the metallic tool from behind my back. His eyes flashed in recognition of the object, but it was too late as it bashed his face in. He collapsed backwards.

I stood over him, working myself into a fury. I raised the object and brought it on his stomach. He didn’t say anything. Then I began to yell at him, and with each word, I smashed him with the object once.

“YOU-****ING-*******-SHUT-THE-****-UP-AND-NOW-I-HAVE-****ING-INSURANCE-THAT-WILL-KEEP-YOU-IN-****ING-LINE-GOT-IT!?” By then he was a bloodied mess. My shiny new sledgehammer had just tasted the blood of Felix, and it would for a very long time. And I continued my slaughterfest. On a coward.


I heard someone knock on the door. “GET OUT BRENDAN, OR I WILL TEAR THE DOOR DOWN!” Rinoa’s voice rang through all the toilet paper I had stuffed in my ears.

“What for?”


“Can you even get in?” I sneered at her.

A minute’s silence. I smirked. She was stumped. Little did I know I was wrong. So wrong I was dead.

I heard footsteps, and gasped as an enraged Rinoa smashed the door down with one blow. The door hit the edge of the sink so hard it snapped into half, and hid the unconscious Helix under it. I had dodged the falling door and now she glared at me, a blazing fire in her eyes, and a bloodied sledgehammer in her right hand.

“You. Die.” She raised the hammer, and I quickly stepped over and grasped it, trying to get the dangerous instrument out of her hand. It didn’t work though; I got thrown out of the bathroom and crushed Felix in my landing. She marched up to me with an air of an angry Charizard mum.

“Experiment that on HIM!” I pointed at Felix as I tried to run out of the room for my life. The door was locked though.

“You do not deserve-” she began.

“You should meet my mum. You two talk soooooo similarly. Need her number?” I offered.

“No. I just want your head. Because I must eliminate all evidence of me buying this-”

“If you hid it most of the time no one would know.” I offered, breaking out in cold sweat.

“That’s true,” she said thoughtfully. “BUT I STILL WANNA HIT YOU!” She raised the hammer.

“WHY ME!?”

“I dunno. Just feel like hitting you.” She smirked. “Maybe because you are a coward.”

“Well then just hit me lightly on the side of the head. Here.” I pointed at the spot.

“Right. Here?” I felt the metal against my head.


“Right. One, two,-”


The sledgehammer made contact with my skull hard, and if Rinoa had had enough strength, I would have been dead. I went sprawling, eyesight blurred and foaming at the mouth.

“Mission accomplished.”


6 hours later, all of us were sporting a bandage somewhere on our head. In the case of Felix, all over his body. He had been hospitalized again. And now I really had another 5 days of rest. Provided Nurse Joy didn’t lie again. Which I doubted. If she did I would just bash Felix all over again and send him right back through express mail dismembered and stuffed into the smallest parcel size possible.

Brendan and I were both walking down a path to Vermilion. Helix had left us to explore Rock Tunnel like the tunnel fanatic he was. Serge had decided to strike out on his own. Somehow, I knew that we would all meet again. Brendan, however, wasn’t leaving. He had somehow persuaded me to get me to travel with him, and although I had forgotten most of the details, the point was if he didn’t go with me, his mother would really attempt castration and if I didn’t, my mum would be worried sick and I would keep getting so badly injured it wasn’t even funny. And so it was.

Of course we had our different likes and dislikes, and we had to get over them. I didn’t really trust Brendan, but then I had my sledgehammer and the many days my father had taught me martial arts. So I should be safe. And Brendan seemed like a nice guy.


The afternoon sun was hot, and the guards guarding Saffron city’s gate were being idiots, only letting us through if we got them some of Celadon’s great drinks. And a particularly pervertic one said that he would let us through if I… you know. Of course, we both told him to get off the idea, and the rest told us to run away while they handled the nut.

So we were stuck with nothing to do but to watch the stones grow. We explored around, searched around and found nothing. We decided to head back to Cerulean when a sheltered place sticking out of nowhere caught my attention.

“Hey, Brendan,” I tapped my companion on the shoulder, “is that what we’re looking for?”

His eyes flicked up and down before smiling and saying, “Yep, this is it. The underground tunnel to Vermillion.”

“Finally. And we’ve been searching around for a couple of hours.”

We entered the cool shade of the underpass, and met a girl heading for Cerulean who was trying to trade a male Nidoran for a female one. Brendan of course declined the trade, and we then looked down the steps into the inky darkness below.

“I don’t like this.” I shivered.

“We’ll just run through it!” Brendan said. “No problem!”

I glanced at him. “You’re reminding me more and more of a female character in some RPG.”

“What? What the hell is wrong with my saying…”

“That’s the hundredth time you’ve said ‘no problem’! I mean, you sound just like her!”

“Yeah and you sound just like her best friend, who only wants to eat, sleep and lead a normal life hunt-” I smashed him over the head with my sledgehammer and he teetered dangerously over the edge, at which I smashed him in the stomach, resulting in his toppling backwards, foaming at the mouth. I walked down the steps, at the same time concealing the vital tool. I was smirking.

But my smirk disappeared soon. I stood at the bottom of the steps, peering as far as I could into the badly lit tunnel.

“Hello…?” I said uncertainly. Echoes immediately followed.

“Brendan…?” No answer. Just echoes. I summoned all my courage and swallowed.

“BRENDAN BIRCH! GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I STUFF FELIX’S C4-” I stopped suddenly and gasped as something nudged my leg.

“-up your ***……” I froze. I didn’t dare to do anything. I felt a clawed hand on my shoulder…



I clutched my stomach in pain. I was breathless, and every time I laughed, my stomach hurt worse, not to mention bringing me a step closer to suffocation. Well, I had her incredibly high-pitched scream recorded in my Pokegear, so I could hear it again anytime anyway. I tried to stop myself from laughing and walked down the steps.

10 minutes later, I was worried. Rinoa was nowhere to be found and her waist pouch had been left lying on the floor. I had searched all over the dimly lit tunnel and hadn’t found another trace of her. Stupid idiot. Where the hell did she go? I knew she had less-than-stellar intelligence, but she definitely had enough brains not to get lost. I decided to head to Vermillion and make a police report.

Activating my running shoes, I ran down the tunnel at around 20km/h. At least that was what the speedometer said. Soon, I came to the end of the tunnel. I turned off the shoes…

…And suddenly I skidded, twirling and whirling in weird ways and I had to counter with some rather slick twisting and turning to stay on balance.

Then I ran into the wall.

Ran was the wrong word though. I flew through the wall, smashed into the real wall and fell backwards.

When I had taken stock of my surroundings I was in shock.

A banner stood on the real wall, proclaiming: YOU JUST GOT TRICKED BY FELIX AND THE HAUNT-TLE SQUAD! And the masterminds danced around like nobody’s business.

The thing that was really shocking me was the person lying on top of me.

I tried to ease myself from under her to avoid her waking up and going after me with the sledgehammer, a job made easier by the oil slick those b*stards had set up. But I foresaw an unavoidable problem.

As I finally slipped out from under her, her head hit the oil, reviving my companion. I quickly scampered far far away from her. But I jabbed her with a Paralyze Heal first.

Rinoa groaned as she twitched her fingers. Felix, the four Squirtles and the Haunter watched together with me as she sat up and shook her head, sending oil flying everywhere.

“What the hell…” Her half-opened blue eyes scanned six guilty faces and a terrified friend.

We waited for the blow to fall.


We shall now leave our protagonists and zoom in on another character…

A lone figure strayed down a path in the evening sun, a bottle in hand. Behind him trailed 5 other figures. One a rock with arms, another just like our electric protagonist except for an afro-like hair style, a weird duck with hands permanently stuck to its head, a cute little fox with six tails and something that looked like the handiwork of a skilled puppeteer with no sense of fashion.

“Long long -hic- time way back in -hic-tory,
There lived a -hic- by the name of Pika Chu,
When all there was to -hic- was nothing but -hic-s beer beer beer -hic- tiddly beer beer beer beer -hic-……”

“Geo…” The rock sweatdropped.

“…” The electric mouse followed the lead of his friend, sweatdropping.

“…” The fox collapsed onto her rocky friend, who was more than happy to support her.

“Psy -hic- aye aye aye -hic- aye aye…” The resident idiot, which was the duck, sang in a drunken stupor.

“Mime?” The puppet was entirely clueless as to what was going on.

Their master collapsed, and the pokemon crowded around Helix, who was currently foaming at the mouth after his fifth illegal bottle of beer.

For the sake of the readers, who, unlike Rinoa, cannot understand Poketalk(no offense intended), translations will be done till the end of the perspective.

“What the ****…he even sung the lines wrongly and mixed them all up…” the Geodude sweatdropped once again.

“Look on the bright side, he got one line right…” the Afro-chu commented.

“I feel ill…” the poor Vulpix twisted her head and threw up before collapsing on the ground.

“Graaagh. Beer -hic- beer -hic- beer -hic- beer -hic- tiddly -hic- beer -hic- beer -hic- beer -hic- beer -hic-…” the Psyduck took his trainer’s lead and collapsed spreadeagled on the ground.

“Whazzup?” the Mr. Mime said.

“Rock tunnel is only just there…” the Geodude pointed into the distance.

“Actually, this could take a while.” The Pikachu commented.



“Yes sir!”




“But has the leader given permission?”


“Never sir, never!”



We sat opposite each other at a table. Felix was watching the finale of Digital Monsters(a.k.a Digimon) with the other pokemon, so we were left to our own quiet devices. At least that’s what Rinoa said.

We ate dinner in silence. I looked across the table at the mild-mannered girl sitting opposite and found it hard to believe that 4 hours ago, the same person had kicked my *** so hard I practically kissed the moon, while she spared the pokemon no mercy with the almighty sledgehammer and enraged female fire pokemon. Well, she did heal them all up afterwards, but that was beside the point.

We had obviously bathed and changed. After wandering around in circles twice for 4 hours each, even the most idiotic fool had enough common sense to wash up. And it being ten in the night, we were starving, and gobbled down the food like nobody’s business. The 5 plates of fried rice I had that were equivalent to a few hundred boxes of Pikachu blend pokechow was demolish within two minutes, and Rinoa downed 10 plates of spaghetti in no more than two and a half minutes, where each plate was equal to no more than five hundred boxes of pokechow. Well, it might be exaggerating, but we ate incredibly quickly at a speed which put even Felix’s record of downing pokechow to shame.

And after walking around for 8 hours straight and exerting strenuous exercise either from escaping from the wrath of a potentially dangerous sledgehammer or wielding aforementioned sledgehammer, we collapsed into bed after walking back to our room like zombies. I fell asleep immediately the minute I reached the top deck, and before I even touched the bed I was a log. And I couldn’t remember anything after that.

(Author’s notes: Due to Rinoa earlier hammering our poor character’s head and pummeling his groin, his brain is currently incredibly screwed, and thus can only skim through events and not describe them. The actor in question is now sitting immobile for 6 hours straight now.)



“Shut up and let me sleep…” Rinoa’s muffled voice came from under two pillows, a bolster, two incredibly thick blankets and her waistpouch.


“Will you just shut the bloody ****ing **** UP!?” Her muffled voice replied.


Silence. It was too silent. The only sound was Brendan snoring, and that wasn’t too reassuring.

Everything on top of Rinoa’s head flipped off her head as she sat up and pointed a finger at me.

“What the **** did you say?” Her voice was soft, but the threat was there. I backed up against the wall.

“N-nothing.” I flashed a smile that I hoped was innocent.

Her hand wrapped around my throat and squeezed the air and life out of me. I tried to shock her but nothing happened. I didn’t have enough energy to try a full charged electric attack, but I could use everything…

My plan was foiled when she shoved my face into a pillow and began to suffocate me.


I gave a thumbs up signal and she removed the pillow from my face, and later kicking me off the bed. I stared at her wearing a shirt that was way too big for her and covered her *** and most of her shorts before I blacked out in fatigue.


I lay back in bed and sighed. I was tired after a long day of walking around in circles due to my horrible sense of direction, and Brendan hadn’t been helping by crawling around after I smashed him in the groin many times over with a combination of my sledgehammer and my foot. To make things worse, Felix was annoying the bloody crap out of me when I just wanted to sleep.

Well the sledgehammer was a valuable investment. Misty had told me a mallet was a useful way to keep boys under control, and I took it further with a more lethal object. If I didn’t have it, it would be much harder to survive with two idiots bugging the hell out of me.

I lay back on the bed and shut my eyes. I was so tired…I rested my hand on my stomach. So drained…I tilted my head to one side and all went black.

I was awoken by the offensive behavior of the opposite gender in the wee hours of the morning.




“NOOO-” Loud scuffling noises could be heard.

I sat up rather violently. “SHUT THE **** UP! WHAT THE HELL IS THE TIME ANYWAY!?”


“Rinoa, you won’t believe it, BRENDAN-”


“Don’t listen to him-”

“He’s trying to cover up-”

Drastic times called for drastic measures, and I employed the former to deal with the latter.

Two hours later, at eight am, we stood in front of a bush that blocked the only way into the Vermillion Gym.

And we had been trying to cut it down since an hour ago.

“STUPID THORNS!” I yelled as I ordered another Ember attack from Chick and Mandy.

“No good…” Brendan sighed.

“There has to be a way!”

“Well, there’s a Cut technique that does just that, but you need a Hidden Machine or a Move Tutor to teach it.”

“Well then find one!”

“Why don’t we split up?” Brendan suggested.

“Split up where!?” I withdrew my pokemon.

“Take this.” He handed me a ticket.

“What for!?”

“I’ll search the town and you’ll search that ship.” He pointed to the huge cruise ship in the dock. The words on its side were: S.S. Anne. “Apparently the captain’s the Cut Master.”

“Okay.” I grabbed the ticket and gasped. “Wait a minute, it’s a first class ticket! Where DID you get this!?”

“Remember that Bill?”


“He asked me to pass this to you after we were back in the Pokemon Center. I just kept forgetting,” he said sheepishly.

“Right…I’ll be going!” I sped off towards the ship.


I wandered around town, thinking about where would be the best place to begin my search. Then I chanced upon the very building that I was looking for.

The Pokemon Fan Club.

There had to be someone in there who knew the move that would take us to our third badge. So I went in.

Big mistake.

I was soon swamped by people who stole my pokeballs and let out the pokemon residing within.

“What wonderful pokemon!”

“This Mudkip’s so cyuuuute!!!”

“This one’s wonderfully ***holish!”

“This one’s a beauty! A black Charmander!”

“Oh my! Such a beautiful Butterfree!”

“Hey, gimme back my poke- Oomph…” I said as I was promptly cut off by a fat lady sitting on top of the sofa I was shoved on. And she sat on my face.

Mayhem ensued, and it wasn’t pretty. Whichever it was, I was still stuck inside.

So much for intuition. I could only hope Rinoa was doing well.


I ran towards the ship as fast as I could(which happened to be how fast I dared to make the running shoes go) and stopped at the entrance, gave the guy my ticket and walked in.

As I looked at the interior of my surroundings I gasped.

Beautiful chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Fantastic murals were painted on the walls of wars and epic battles. The carpet was soft and nice to walk on and had a picture of every species of Pokemon Crystal, a legendary Pokemon capturer, had caught.

If you had told me that I had just entered the lion’s mouth, I wouldn’t have believed you. But it had been a grave mistake. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t talk about the past so much.

I heard a loud cheering and rushed over to see the source of the commotion.

Soon, I stood at a balcony jutting out over a battle arena. One side was a bunch of trainers, and on the other, the Cut Master himself. Or what I assumed would be him.

He was an old man, nearly bald, nearly toothless and a hunchback. He had on the captain’s uniform though, so I was sure it was him.

I watched as he defeated all of the pokemon with one Cut attack from his Scyther. And as another batch of pokemon were released, the Scyther disappeared and next moment, the pokemon had been decimated.

I gaped in amazement and applauded with the audience as the Cut Master took a bow and asked, “Any questions?”

Everyone rushed forward and I leapt off the balcony, landing in front of the audience. We crowded around the Cut Master and asked for the Cut Hidden Machine. His eyes suddenly flicked over me and he said, “Back off, back off now, one at a time, don’t rush…”

And when we had retreated to the other side, the most amazing thing happened.

He ripped off his clothes, revealing a metal Scyther underneath. With razor sharp claws.

I mentally kicked myself. I was going to die. No doubt what that was.

“Where’s the Cut Master?” everyone echoed.

“Dead. And all of you will be too if you don’t run.” The people all ran except for three brave trainers that decided to face the threat head on. I ran to a corner, waiting to see what this monster could do.

“Blastoise, Hydrocannon!”

“Charizard, Blast Burn!”

“Venusaur, Frenzy Plant!”

The huge pokemon appeared and fired their respective attacks. A vine shot up from the ground where the Scyther was, and the beams smashed into the plant and decimated it.

But the Scyther was no longer there. It had disappeared. My intuition told me to run. I ran further up.

I was lucky I had followed my intuition.

The Scyther reappeared on the other side, unharmed. I gasped at what happened next.

A line appeared in the three trainers and their pokemon’s bodies. The two boys and girl’s eyes widened as blood spurted from the wound that had separated their body into half and the top part of their body fell from the bottom. Same went for the Pokemon. And soon, I huge pool of blood gathered on the ground.

The Scyther then turned around.

“Hello, Rinoa. I see that you have met my master. I am Deathtantz Scyther, one of the Maniac B*stard’s numbers! And I will decimate you with my claws!


A big hologram said as a siren beeped twice, and my trusty Pikachu appeared, panting.

“Where were you?”

“Running here. I’m not in good shape.”

“Bad shape then.”

“Oh well.” We chorused.

Life is rather like a tin of sardines, we’re all of us looking for the key.
Alan Bennett

The PikaMew Fanatic
29th October 2005, 3:46 PM
That was just... whoa. BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
*;277;: Happy birthday to you,*
*;257;: You should live in a zoo,*
*;184;: Cause you look like a monkey,*
*;348;: And you smell like one too!*
Be nice! Oh, and here's your cookie! -throws cookie-
*;025;: No! I want it!
Tough toenails. ^__^

29th October 2005, 6:23 PM

;359;.....(Gagged befoe she starts screaming about B x R)




;384; Shut up, you just ruined the groups shock moment.

;330; Thanks Nylf, anyway, that was a very good chapter, if a little worrying that Rinoa needs a lethal weapon to control a Pikachu and a Brendan. As i said we gagged Cina.

;373; Length, great, description, could've been worse, Plot, Grand, Battle Description, Fine. Overall, Great, keep it up.

;308; I evolved, that means this is very good.

;330; And Jack would send his kudo's to the Manic *******, but, well Rayquaza's in the house. Happy Birthday, and I've already given you 11 cookies. But have 7 more. I'm that generous.

30th October 2005, 5:30 PM
Ahem, I'll give you your present on Thursday Felix. Anyway, quite a nice chapter, even though the Megaman Zero tribute/parody thing is vaguely... Disturbing.
And yes I have abandoned my fic until I decide it's good enough by my own standards. You have no idea how many of the fics here fail them.

Felix Feral Fezirix
5th November 2005, 5:57 AM
I now have 20 cookies(of which that lousy Pikachu stole 2 to turn into a google boxes of pokechow...AGAIN...) and I still want cookies from those that read that chapter. Graaagh. And I'll eat 'em all next year! And I went to skiboydoggy's house and met his namesake, and wormed a cookie out of him. Although it was a hard task to keep it, seeing that his Siberian Husky called Ski tries to kill me whenever I get in range.

I decided to add a little summary/preview out of boredom. Bah. Sue me.

A disastrous battle is about to begin.

Meanwhile, our bruised and battered hero staggers back to their meeting point, expecting another beating, but having not getting it, his search begins.

As for the heroine*is smashed over the head by the companion Pikachu*, she begins a seemingly futile fight to defeat the metallic monster, as well as saving her life.

At the same time, the Manaic B*stard has begun production of his numbers again. Starting with the Power Plant. As well as planting his other numbers around Kanto.

Will all of them succeed?

Shiny anything
9th November 2005, 7:41 PM
here u go 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 cookies, I hope felix doesnt eat all septillion,that would mean very bad pika gas,which i dont even want to know what that would smell like,p.s. buy some pepto bismal

Volt Tackle
10th November 2005, 3:18 AM
Chapter 10 is very hillarious.

10th November 2005, 7:26 PM
awsome new chapters can rinoa hit me with her sledge hammer pleeeeeaase?

28th November 2005, 8:12 AM
Tee hee. I love this fic. I don't know why, but every time i read it I just crack up laughing! I mean everything is just so funny and I love Felix. Seriously, he is probably the best character on this entire site.
Anyway, I hope you post again soon.

Shiny anything
29th November 2005, 1:32 AM
i completely agree with shiny deoxys this is an awesome fic

Felix Feral Fezirix
9th December 2005, 12:43 PM
Right. You guys can all punch me. Too much Kingdom Hearts and Megaman have kept me from writing the chapter. So hit me. I don't mind. Just don't set Ski's dog on me.

*Has Rinoa take a Earth-sized sledgehammer and pound umbreon lover with it. Ouch*

Thanks all you guys who've read, and new people, enter the circle of madpeople. Old people, I promote you. Now go crazy on your juniors! Never mind.

;025; I have bad Pika gas. *Earth-sized sledgehammer lands on him. Go figure*

So. Here's the moment you've all been waiting for! Tan-ta-ran-ta-ran! Pre-senting Chapter... 14!

P.S. Shiny_Deoxys has the privellege of killing me.

Read and enjoy. Or die. Never mind. Even though waaaaaay shorter than usual.

Chapter 14
-Deathtantz Scyther-Part 2-


Almost instantly, the metal shimmered, before the mantis Pokemon disappeared. I stood there in shock for a moment.

Suddenly I jumped to one side for no reason. My subconscious had done it; my conscious was going to find out why.

A potted plant split into half as the freak of nature reappeared. Felix ran off into a corridor. I stood and began to run. I felt something tear my shirt as I ran off and when I looked behind, the metallic pokemon had slashed the wall. I tried to delve into its mind to find its weakness, but I couldn’t. In fact, I couldn’t even reach its mind.

Suddenly the silver demon disappeared, and I was forced to run for my life. I quickly dashed down a corridor, turned the corner, turned another corner and came back to the battlefield. I ran right and entered another corridor, where I stopped, leant against the wall and slid down it, trying to catch my breath. I wasn’t particularly good at running, since I didn’t have much stamina.

I heard crashing and smashing. Then an angry Scyther appeared.

“CHIKA!” He dashed at me. This was the end…

Suddenly I jumped towards him, keeping close to the ground, hoping that I would go right between his legs. I felt my shoulders barely graze something before I landed. I quickly got up and ran.


I searched the room like a madman, flinging things around. No briefcases or any suspicious object. I dashed out, heading for another room. I had a theory: If that thing was metal, things that were effective against it would work and reveal its weak points. We already tried fire: nothing had happened. So now, I was searching for something more lethal.

I smashed into the next room with a Rollout, and found a briefcase on the standard table that appeared in every room. I ripped it open.

Inside was clothes, clothes, and more clothes. I was about to shut the case when I saw something glinting. It could be nothing or everything.

Minutes later, I was outside the room. I whipped out a very tall ladder used in construction out of my trusty “nowhere” and set it up, climbing up onto it. I took out a portable welder, and ripped open the grill to the air vent. Then I climbed in, stored everything away, replaced the grill and ran on fours. I checked the GPS. Rinoa was two corridors down from my location(Of course I put a tracker on her. I’m not stupid y’know). I ran like my life depended on it and called her on an upgraded PokeNav.

“Hello?” Rinoa sounded tired and scared. Of course she was. A whole hour of running away from a mad pokemon that could easily sever you into half would do that to anyone.

“It’s me.” I had no doubt that she could understand that. “Try to get that little guy stuck.”

“How?” She began to run.

I consulted a map on the premises. “Turn left at the next opportunity.” I checked the GPS against the map I had. She did. I began to order her around for the next one-sixth of an hour while walking towards where I wanted her to be. I was sorry that she had to be the bait. But…there wasn’t any choice. Bloody hell, I didn’t see any other bait around.

“Now turn right at the next opportunity. Then enter the first room you see.” I finally ordered. A silver dot razored up and down corridors, but never turning, only moving in straight lines. This guy’s weakness was that he couldn’t turn or change direction. The Maniac B*stard was crazy. This had to be the worst place to get his minion to fight in.

“Now what?” Rinoa was panting and there was desperation in her voice. Bah. Humans. When they need you, they don’t complain. After that, they go back to before. Sheesh.

“Follow this to the dot.” I reluctantly commanded.


A metal flash in the sky, then a solitary, Grim Reaper-like figure fell from the sky, missing a scythe, and its hood covering its face. It hovered above the ground as it was missing legs. Its hands were horribly deformed, the fingers attached directly to the wrist.

It stood in front of an abandoned power plant, the old power plant for the Kanto-Johto Magnet train. The door opened by itself, creaking on its hinges, and the personification of impending doom floated in.

Instantly all the electric pokemon feeding spun around in fear, and gathered in front of the intruder to protect their homes. Voltorb, Electrode, Pikachu, Raichu, even baby Pichu…all gathered around the intimidating presence.

All of them combined their powers and launched an attack of unseen proportions. A mere wave, a wall of energy appeared, and both attack and barrier disappeared. The pokemon were shocked. It had failed.

A mere flick of a finger, a colossus appeared, its head smashing through the roof as it fired a giant orange beam at all present, creating a huge flash and a thick smokescreen.

As the smoke cleared and the light vanished, a cruel sight beheld. A huge pool of blood was all over the place. The bones and internal organs of each and every one of those who dared to stand up to the infernal demon littered the ground. It was as if each and everyone of them had been blown up by a bomb that didn’t destroy their remains.

The creature merely continued on, returning the titan to its ball. Amazing how even the most powerful of beasts could be contained within a mere ball that could fit in your pocket.

In another place, a book vibrated, and fell to the ground from its giant shelf. The book itself was gigantic, thicker than the height of a ten-storey building. The pages ruffled and turned to a blank page. Words began to appear, continuing where the words had last ended.

Date: 29th March 5831331 AD

In six years time...A new threat will arise…


I had my back to the wall. This was crazy. I had done all that Felix had asked me to, and I doubted the credibility of his scheme. But he had never failed me anyway, so I had to just wait and see. If it didn’t work, I was so dead. I was directly facing the door, so I was very visible. But I was the bait(though unwillingly), and baits have to make themselves easily seen.

The janitors’ room on the S.S. Anne was quite small, but had multiple exits to facilitate the janitors moving tools.

“CHIKA!” An angry metal blur shot past, and a deep rent marked the place where the freak of nature had clawed the wall in order to come to a stop. Seconds later, the Maniac B*stard’s minion appeared, intent on killing me.

I would have no chance of living through this if it hadn’t been for his carelessness.

He failed to notice the marbles on the floor, and the superglue coated in a thick layer after that.

His feet hit the marbles, and he slipped, lost his balance and did a fantastic somersault before he fell mid-flip and got stuck in the glue.

“SYAAAAA!” He had landed face-up, and he was angry.

I began to run. I had already been briefed on what to do, and I dashed out of another door and shut it just as a huge explosion occurred.


One of the dumbest plans in the world had been set in motion. It was something out of Home Alone or another one of Wile E. Coyote’s lame schemes. Nevertheless, the plan was pretty much foolproof. A killing machine doesn’t really need a brain, and that is its downfall.

Suddenly something metal appeared in my “cross-hairs”, and the killing machine let loose a loud roar, discontent that it had been caught.

“****tard,” I muttered as I quickly welded open the air vent grate beside me, and took out a shiny spherical capsule.

A grenade. But it wasn’t an ordinary grenade. It was one that was designed to pierce through metal. In short, armour-piercing grenades. Some bodyguards usually brought them along in their bag of tricks. And only rich or important people had bodyguards. And the chances of such a bodyguard on a luxury liner that costs maybe half a million per ticket? 75% on my last calculation.

The bag of tricks I had stolen included a few standard guns, as well as machine guns and sniper rifles. Really, this bodyguard had to be an assassin in disguise.

He had also kindly provided 10 of those armour-piercing grenades for me. One was enough. But I loved overkill anyway. I pulled off all their safetys, pressed the button that would began the countdown, shoved them all down and ran, not bothering to shut the hatch. You see, I had ten or less seconds to run, and ten seconds already isn’t a lot of time. Call me a crazy b*stard, but what the hell.

I ran like nuts, knowing full well that I could die if I didn’t run fast enough.

“AIEEE!” Flames licked my feet, and I pushed my speed further than what I normally managed.

I think I could see La-la land just about then, some crazy concept of Heaven that some nutty Pidgey had muttered this morning during my morning training session. Even though I felt bad, I kicked its *** using various unarmed martial arts and then cut it into four with my new twin swords. If Rinoa ever found out how much I spent, she’d kill me. And God would be absolutely displeased with the way I was training even though I mangled him and brought him into the Pokemon Centre innocently enough to be believed. Back to my exploits.

Soon, the metal under my feet heated up. You have to remember that I’m in an air vent, and air vents are typically made of metal, and metal conducts heat very well. Get my drift? Hope so.

I think I made a sonicboom as I ran like crazy to escape the heat. Ouchie for my blisters after that. Never mind.

Of course, soon the flames stopped attempting to take my life by disappearing for good, and I returned to my bag of tricks to pick out insurance.

The AK-47 is nothing short of a powerful gun, and if you play Counter-Strike, you would be aware of its 1337ness, and if you haven’t played the famed game, you would do best to remember that the AK-47 is insanely powerful.

Anyway, in real life, the AK is a gun nonetheless, and it happened to be the gun in the box with the most amount of ammo. Which is good insurance. Check your local dictionary or library if you are unsure of the term insurance.

Anyway, inspection is necessary. And I will not compromise my safety. Nooooo. I ran all the way back and fell into the room.

The room was completely darkened. The lights fused, the air vent stopped short of the room, and an insane nutter was waiting to kill me.

I heard the sound of air being cut, and I fired at will.(No one called Will is on the ship, so take it as the ordinary dictionary definition of will, as a noun) A loud scream, and the cyborg ran out of the room. No matter how it survived. Taking care of Number One is most important, and I ran to a completely wrecked door where four limbs were struggling to heave a heavy metal door of the body beneath. (GPS rulez.) I used the gun as a lever to lift the door high enough so that the person underneath could escape(only because I was too lazy to kick the door off her), and Rinoa crawled out, panting.

“Couldn’t you have warned me about that?” She whined. “Suddenly the door just squashed me under it! Do you have any idea how heavy it was?”

“Apparently our quarry has survived the impossible. So shut up and run.” I ran up the nearest air vent as quickly as possible and headed for my “base”.


The hooded figure glided into the next room, having survived the Explosions of fifty Electrodes together and twenty Raichu Thunderbolts together in addition to killing off most of the abandoned building’s inhabitants in a single attack after nullifying their combined attack. He glided to the Generator Room, where a giant yellow bird stood ready to fight to the death.

“ZAPDOS!” He cried. The hooded figure simply waved a hand, and a Scyther whose scythes and legs were covered in adamantium appeared. It was panting, and smoke billowed from its body. Instantly the air turned to ice. The hooded figure’s presence was so intimidating, even the air changed with his emotions. Zapdos screeched.

A huge Thunderbolt ripped through the roof and struck the Scyther, making it drop to one knee. Zapdos flew into the air, screeching triumphantly. The figure waved its hand again, and the Scyther screeched in pain and got to its feet. The figure flicked a finger, and suddenly Zapdos collapsed. The bird looked to the left, where his wing had been, there was a red liquid and a numbing pain. It felt as if its back was broken.

The figure glided in front of Zapdos and bent down. It held out a single red-and-white ball. Zapdos screeched. Getting captured was bad enough. Captured by a mere red-and-white-ball used for the common pokemon…He would not let himself be captured so easily!

He snapped at the hooded figure, and the hooded figure stabbed his fingers into his eyes, tearing the eyeballs out. Zapdos screamed in pain, and he felt his other wing leave him, as well as his legs. Then he felt the pokeball suck him in, where he gained temporary peace. The ping of the pokeball announced his humility to all in the building, the soft sound in the icy silence echoing around.

The figure waved a hand and the Scyther disappeared. Then he raised his head to the sky and the hood fell back, and his face contorted into an evil laugh as the sound echoed all around.

The Maniac B*stard disappeared after reveiling in his victory…


2 minutes before, I had been walking. Now, I was firing at the crazy invention of a madman, who was now spinning his blades in a perfect circle.

It had been ten minutes after the last attack, and now the guy was back to kill. The entire metallic body had been torn off during the explosion, save for the mechanism that made his legs move so incredibly fast, and the razor-sharp claws covered by adamantium that made the feat of deflecting bullets possible as well as ripping anything in its way into pieces. Incredibly, underneath the armour was real flesh and blood. Work of a genius.

Crazy pet for a crazy b*stard. Heck.

Soon I completely ran out of bullets, and I might have found myself at his mercy if not for…

As he charged for a slash, I ripped out one of my swords and parried the blows while escaping into an air vent built into the wall, then ran for my life back to my bag of tricks to find other effective equipment.

I searched and searched, but I kept coming up with bad news. Now I required strategy.


I heard a clanging sound as I was about to turn the corner and spun around. The sight beholding me made me gasp.

The machine was still alive. But it wasn’t just a machine. It was the real deal sealed into an invincible walking crypt. Near invincible, but you get my point. Most of the metal had been blasted off his body, but the metal at its arms and legs still held. And I could tell those were essential to its efficiency.

“GRAAA!!!” It disappeared, and I ran for it. I turned a corner, just in time for the Scyther to smash into the wall.

I don’t know what made me do what I did next. Maybe it was desperation. Or a rash move.

“Mandy, Flamethrower!” I cried as I sent out the fire lizard.

“Take this, metal crap!” She yelled as she let loose a stream of fire that razed the mantis. Obviously every single one of my pokemon had witnessed the fight I had had.

The mantis screamed in pain as it walked towards us like a zombie regardless of the pain.

“HARDER!” I screamed in frustration. I was going to die. The Scyther was about to reach Mandy. A close enough distance to kill her. Then it would be my turn to taste the fatal claws…

Mandy put all her power into the attack, but still it managed to struggle into range, and just as he was about to go off with Mandy’s head…

Mandy began to grow bigger. Her muscles bulged, she grew a horn-like structure sticking out of the back of her head, her skin colour darkened, and the flame on her tail burst into a gigantic flame as her Flamethrower became more intense in power, and the Scyther shrieked in pain.

“BLAST BURN!” I screamed. Mandy immediately blasted a giant beam of fire from her mouth without ceasing Flamethrower, and the mantis smashed into the wall, the armour on its legs melted and burnt. I could see the deformed legs of the pokemon, and pity filled my heart.

I heard a thump. Mandy had collapsed. I withdrew her into her pokeball and put it back in the bag, whispering thanks to her as I did. Then I quickly ran.


“Oh man…” I was tired and thirsty and most definitely injured. I had been accused of being a molester, got beaten by humans, then had another round of getting beaten up by pokemon before I was thrown out of the building with my pokemon. I could almost hear broken bones grinding against each other with every single step I took, and I was still cross-eyed from the Karate Chop a Machop had smashed me with. My hands were limp, and my legs hurt so much they could hardly hold me up.

“Today is a horrible day.” I muttered under my breath, and my pokemon shook their heads and sighed. I was running late, and I now had another bruising appointment.

I reached the bush, and I was surprised to find that I was still staring as blank air. I wasn’t looking at a very angry person nor was my face pressed against the ground after a large metal object made quick work of me.

“No beating?” Suddenly all my injuries seemed to vanish as I realised what had happened.

“Hallelujah?” My Mudkip seemed to say.

“Nope.” I thought aloud for my Mudkip. “I must find Rinoa.”

He had a skeptical look on his face. “Leave her.”

I stared at him. “Are you kidding? I’ll get killed twice over. Rinoa’ll kill me, and then when my body reaches my mum she’ll mangle it before burying it. After that she’d kill herself, come to Heaven and beat the living **** out of me for eternity.”

I learnt that my Mudkip had a few million facial expressions right then as he raised an eyebrow. “You have a bad lot in life.”

“Sue the gods above. Whatever you believe in.” I headed off to the Pokemon Centre.

Three minutes later, I was out of the center unscathed and with a rapidly increasing heart rate, and though I would have liked nothing better than to take a nap, I began a slow search of the city.


“Son of a b*tch, oh son of a b*tch, we cannot ween we must admit.
Who could it be, who set j00 free, he really must be an ox-head.” I sang as I ran from a burnt, unhappy, and very violent cyborg while attempting to shoot it dead. I checked my watch. 5 pm. Yawn. When we got out of this mess, there would be another mess to clean up.

Back to the point, the bumbling half-machine’s claws had held, and the bullets merely ricocheted off the spinning cyclone of the blades.

“How could a place unabundant with charm create a b*stard with a scythe for an arm?” I sang another line as I ran up a vent, and seconds later a scythe punctured the vent and began to tear a straight line for me. And it moved faster than I did.

“COCKY SON OF A B*TCH!” the mantis screamed.

“Wow. I thought you were mute,” I replied. All the running was beginning to take its toll, and I was beginning to tire from all the bloody running. And the blade was about to cut my ***.

“DIE!” The scythe sank into my butt.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OWWWR!” I made a very ear-splitting screech that combined a cat’s screech with some random cowboy’s idiot cry.

“Flamethrower!” I heard a familiar voice yell.

Instantly my antagonist screeched, and I ran for my swords and my life. Blood dripped from my ***, but that was the least of my priorities. That lousy b*stard had humiliated me, and it still smart(well, it being only a couple o’ minutes later…). Of course I wanted my revenge. It’s sweet, ya’ know. Sweet as heaven. Especially when you save your own *** in the process. [Author’s note: What an irony. Felix: Okay. BUT YOU WROTE THE DAMN SCRIPT! Author: Argh! Can’t delete this note! Curse that creation!]

I grabbed two very shiny sheaths with their contents safely inside and tied a headband around my head. I didn’t have a samurai helmet, so some bloody **** I picked up from a book would do. Anyway, I strapped those sheaths to my…errr…roly-poly body and began a crafty scheme.


One hour had passed, and I still had no luck. And a few run-ins with fences, pillars, lampposts, dustbins and general obstructions made me still cross-eyed. And as I made my way back to the Pokemon Center I nearly got into 20 car accidents and ran into a further 10 more lampposts. I mentally rated this the worst day of my life.

Just as I was about to run into the hard cement of the Pokemon Center, I heard footsteps. It miraculously cured me of cross-eyeness, and I spun around only to see a face before I was comically run over and stomped on by a crowd. Go figure.

When I could finally pick myself up, I saw many people headed in my direction(which would make sense because I was right beside the door to the Center) from the gargantuan ship in the dock of Vermillion Port. A brainwave hit me, and I ran towards the ship.

The police were already there when I arrived.

“Hey kid, you can’t go in!” Officer Jenny said, holding me back.

Before I go on, I would like to explain something about our police force. Basically every town has an Officer Jenny overseeing the entire operations of the town’s police force, while recruits are fair game to join. Same goes for Nurse Joys and the Pokemon Center staff. Okay, enough explanation.

“I think my friend’s in there,” I said coolly.

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you show some tension?”

“After running into a gazillion lampposts and numerous building walls? Hard. And my brain’s a plate of scrambled eggs.”

Officer Jenny rolled her eyes and grabbed a walkie-talkie from the belt on her waist. “Alpha, there could be a-” She paused and asked me, “How does your friend look like?”

“She has brown hair, blue eyes, and has one of those prototype running shoes that can reach 200km/h.”

Amazingly, all that information was relayed. But I wasn’t done. As attention slipped off me, I dashed right into the boat without being seen.



And it’s big and it’s strong and it’s quite plain to see
That this is a job for the great Crazy One.

And the one he believes in, of course.

Prophecy 13:37


I was running away as fast as I could. With three pokemon out of my four down, and the last one being somewhere in damn ceiling way up high, I was pretty much defenceless. And the crazy guy’s claws hadn’t melted. I only managed to smash all of the metal on his arms, but the dangerous portion has still there.

I spun a corner and rested for a while behind the wall. The insane pokemon must be tearing up the tunnels I had run up. His metallic leg implants had given him an incredible speed boost, but in return when destroyed his legs were so incredibly weak that an exhausted me could outrun him, and coupled with all the damage he had taken he was like a snail. I was safe for now.

“Crazy b*stard…” I muttered as I panted, trying to recover my breath.



I could almost smell the blood I was going to draw. I had already drawn a lot though. Eight humans and fifteen Pokemon. Five police and three civilians. I licked my lips. Make that four civilians.

I watched as she doubled over, her hands on her knees, gasping for air. I could smell the sweat in her hair, on her skin, dripping from her body.

I walked out from the corner I was peeking from. I could see my charade had paid off as she looked up and her brilliant blue eyes widened in shock. Before she could muster the strength to run, I charged up to her and slashed.


“Oh where, oh where could that ***hole be
Oh where, oh where could he be?

With his *** so wide
And his feet ****ed up
Oh where, oh where could he be?” I sang as I marched through another corridor. I stopped at a corner, unable to contain the pent-up rage I had at my inability to find that Scyther, the cowardly creep.

Just then Rinoa flew out from that corner and slammed against the wall. It was a T-shaped intersection, so she flew at a 90-degree angle. There was a deep gash in her stomach and blood was streaming from it. Her red eyes were barely open, liquid the same colour as her eyes was streaming out of the corner of her mouth and she looked like she was in incredible pain. Her right hand was over the wound and her left hand was at her side.

“Guh!” Her eyes shot wide open and looked at me before her eyes closed and her head slumped to one side.

I heard the sound of metal hitting metal and I knew what to do.

“KAMEKAZE!!!” I charged around the corner, hands closed around the hilts of my swords.

He ran. Faster than I did. I ignored the pain in my *** and ran faster.

We zigzagged through various corridors, and then we turned a corner, and immediately he stopped at the end. I had chased him into a dead end, containing doors to rooms. He was cornered.

But so was I. How would I get across those insane claws?


The two Pokemon stood facing each other across the length of the corridor. The Scyther crossed his arms and placed them at either side. The Pikachu’s arms crossed, and his hands gripped the hilts of the swords at his side. They both bowed and inclined their heads.

Good swordsmanship…

Suddenly they ran at each other, and in the blink of an eye, they had stopped where their opponent had been a second earlier, both with their blades held in front of them.

You must be strong…child…

A boy wearing a weird hat, carrying a girl in his arms, chanced upon the scene.


His mouth fell open at what he saw next.

You were meant to save us…not desert us…

A white flash…


Progress is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow.

The PikaMew Fanatic
9th December 2005, 5:55 PM
Awesome chapter. Good description and no spelling mistakes as far as I can see. I think my favorite part of this chapter would be when Mandy evolved.

The True Champion
9th December 2005, 8:14 PM
That was a great chapter and i have to agree with shiny deoxys felix is the best and it was so cool when mandy evovled i thought chic would first but maybe she did i don't remember but what ever great chapter i can wait for the next one. Keep up the good work!

11th December 2005, 1:57 PM
;330;Sorry I'm late. Very nice, though the cliff hanger is an evil nearly worthy of myself.(You won't believe a cliff hanger I have planned).
;359;(Gagged on request)
;373; Everything fine, but the note midway ticked me off a little. But I blame Felix the Pikachu not Felix the author for that. Overall, Flygon award easily. Keep it up.
;249-d;Deathtantz! Deathtantz!
;384; You yelled, ah Jack? Is it that time already?
;249-d;Oh no*girly scream as Rayquaza pulls out his custom chainsaw/shotgun/buster sword/Ultimate Weapon/you name it it's in there:D*
;330; Ah, I missed that. Anyway awesome, keep it up.

Felix Feral Fezirix
11th December 2005, 4:47 PM
Formerly Dragon_dude35d: *salute* Thanks a bunch. And you're maturing. I think. And hit me anyway if I'm wrong.

;005; MY LOOKS ARE RUINED! *inconsolable*

;025; *hands over new book, "101 ways to annoy people(for Pikachus)" to you. Or your Pikachu. We'd prefer the Pikachu.*

Thanks again. *promptly kills off Felix with a shotgun*

EDIT: You'll love what happened between Felix and Deathtantz. Megaman Zero-style ending. Hehehe.

Teh true champ(but you ain't the people's champ): I know Felix rocks, it's MY OWN customized bedtime story, and if I don't enjoy it, something's wrong. Hehehe.

Don't worry, Chick didn't evolve. I'll save that for something of epic porportions. I ensure an increased heart rate when she does.

Nylf(Shiny Flygon my ***[/SPOILER]): I couldn't resist putting that note in, so I covered with Felix. So I'm at fault. *expects punch*

Aww...I have worst cliffhangers planned. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened. Okay, roughly what happened.

Send my regards to Jack and tell him I might make a bumbling evil Metal Rayquaza. I have worse planned though. If I tell you everyone will explode. And Rayquaza can't wield a Buster Sword, he's too weak. Hehehe. And Rayquaza can't pull out his intestinal tract, right? No way. Nuh-uh.

Between housework, holiday homework and gaming, I'll try to write as much as possible... Right now get speculating. Hehehehehehehe.

The PikaMew Fanatic
11th December 2005, 6:29 PM
Formerly Dragon_dude35d: *salute* Thanks a bunch. And you're maturing. I think. And hit me anyway if I'm wrong.

;005; MY LOOKS ARE RUINED! *inconsolable*

;025; *hands over new book, "101 ways to annoy people(for Pikachus)" to you. Or your Pikachu. We'd prefer the Pikachu.*

Thanks again. *promptly kills off Felix with a shotgun*

EDIT: You'll love what happened between Felix and Deathtantz. Megaman Zero-style ending. Hehehe.
*;025;:Thanks for the book! -evil laugh- Sorry I haven't been around much, I've been on vacation.*
-shoves Pika out of way- You're right. I am maturing. Not by much, but I am more mature. Can't wait for the next chapter. BTW which MZ game do you mean?

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th December 2005, 2:18 AM
Doesn't matter. Prefer 3/4 though. Kill a boss with your Z-Saber. Mwahahaha

12th December 2005, 3:52 AM
...Do I always have to give in in the end, Felix?

Okay, you guys may not know me, but Felix there *Points at the innocent looking Pikachu with Puppy dog eyes* introduced me to Serebii about six months ago. Now, ever since the Christmas awards started, he has been constantly nagging me for no reason to stop being a clost reader in his fic and review. I didn't want to but somehow... I always give in. (You're gonna pay, Felix-boy).

A-HEM! Now, onto the review.

I like the touch of humor in this story, though not as funny as T-girls XDXD. Very 'colorful' language, it does make me flinch a little. *Twitches* (For pete's sake, Fe, you're only 13!) (-.-) Anyway... interesting storyline, good descrpition, not many grammar mistakes, a few typos and spelling errors; nothing too bad. I still like the Scyther. Hopefully, you'll add more dark pokemon. (As you can see, I have an attachmant to 'em Dark-types) My persornal fave was when the Pika kill the Ma-whatever with his sword/inpoke strength (Or size)...whatever. --;

For now, I'll give it a 8/10.

Knightblazer - ;359;

PS: Felix, I have still one question to ask in MSN.

The PikaMew Fanatic
12th December 2005, 4:10 AM
Doesn't matter. Prefer 3/4 though. Kill a boss with your Z-Saber. Mwahahaha
Oh, do you mean when you slash them for the final hit and they explode? That's cool...

12th December 2005, 5:37 PM
Yes! Felix finally wrote another freakin' chapter. I've been waiting for this for like, ever. Anyways, I caught a few spelling errors,

was pretty much defenceless

It's defenseless.

all my injuries seemed to vanish as I realised what had happened


disappeared after reveiling in his victory…


I made a sonicboom as I ran like crazy
Sonic boom.

Meh, there might be more, but I'm too lazy to go that far in depth. All in all, it was great and I'm glad to have read it. I really like the personification of this Scyther, it is a truly wicked character. Thanks for writing, and if you keep it up I won't have to kill you!!!

13th December 2005, 4:12 PM
Spelt Kamikazae wrongly.
Anyway, a little more awkward than your previous chapters, partially because of the lessened amount of humour, but decent nonetheless.

14th December 2005, 7:53 PM
I read through the first few chapters! I really like Felix. Is that your name or something? I will continue reading. I think this it has a great story and good writing.

16th December 2005, 12:31 PM
To answer Spewy, no it is not his name. His name is Wilson, as you will discover at about Chapter 10.
Oh, and Felix, you have an RP you need to reply to. And KB as well. Grr...

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th December 2005, 8:25 PM
Merry Christmas! When's the next chap?

28th December 2005, 5:21 PM
Um... I may be annoying but is anyone gonna be here or am I the only (and last) one to check this Thread out?

The PikaMew Fanatic
28th December 2005, 7:11 PM
Um... I may be annoying but is anyone gonna be here or am I the only (and last) one to check this Thread out?
I'm still here. Everyone else is just waiting for the next chap to be posted.

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th December 2005, 3:13 AM
I do check back. Just that I don't bother to reply because my mum is watching what I type like a hawk.

I'm halfway through, and when I figure out where to stuff in some fluff, I'll put it up. Hehehehe. 9/15 pages.

29th December 2005, 9:30 AM
Oh okie. Just asking this. Thanks, at least I know now that this Thread isn't being abandoned. Still, someone could talk about something here while the author is writing/working on the story, right? Sorry if I'm acting so childish or anything... heheh...

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th January 2006, 9:10 AM
After struggling with homework, housework and urge to play games, I bring you Chapter 15. Which you guys are anticipating. I deserve a knuckle sandwich for the way it turned out though. Read on and feel free to send a knuckle sandwich if you need to.

Chapter 15
-Vermillion Gym-Home of the explosives-


A bloodied body lay in front of the throne in the darkened room. It was like a tomb. Its occupant looked up at the screen hanging from the ceiling in a strategic position, the eyes behind the hood staring at events unfolding on the screen, and its subordinates knelt on the ground in front of the diabolical genius, before the bloodied creature. It choked and spasmed, pain wracking its body.

Any other pokemon couldn’t have survived what it had gone through, but the sheer power the suit it had been had given kept him alive. He was lucky his master hadn’t blown him up, for it was rather uncertain as to whether he had fulfilled his mission. Usually in uncertainty its master would merely blow up the unlucky pokemon involved, and get a replacement. But the master’s most faithful and powerful servants were never replaced, their power far outmatching any legendary. Even he, a lowly Scyther that should have been destroyed by the great Zapdos, had not only beaten Zapdos, but had also humiliated him horribly.

“Ssyah!!!” The large bird in the corner screeched, attempting to struggle out of his cage. But it didn’t work. With each surge of electricity he zapped the cage with, he weakened, and the electricity conducted back to electrify the bird. When he had grown tired, his tired body collapsed onto the ground, battered, and fell asleep, only to wake up and repeat everything again.

But the mastermind of all these concentrated on the screen. He had something important to do.

“SO…” the Maniac B*stard’s voice echoed around the room. He watched as the Pikachu and his subject dashed towards each other.

“FREEZE!” The video stopped. “PLAY…IT…FRAME…BY…FRAME…”

Slowly, the two Pokemon charged towards each other. The genius observed that the Pikachu held the swords in a peculiar way.

Ten frames later, they met. The Scyther and the Pikachu each executed a cross-slash, and they both scored. Then the Pikachu flipped its swords 180 degrees and brought hem down into another slash.

“FREEZE!” The deranged man had found his answer. He looked down at the Scyther, gasping its last breaths. It explained the entire reason why it had been cut into four very separate pieces of flesh and blood.


“Yes sir!” The ever loyal Hairy, Airy and Fairy said as they wheeled the Scyther away.

The monster got down from his throne, smiling as he removed his attire and slammed the door shut.

Zapdos jerked awake, and screeched in horror and surprise at the sight beholding him…


I opened the door to the Pokemon Center room quietly. It was noon, and Rinoa lay unconscious on one of the beds on the lower deck. I walked over to her and looked down at her. She snoozed peacefully on. If it were any other day I would find myself beaten into a bloody mess and throttled within an inch of my life before I could say, “Hey!”

I smirked and placed a hand on her forehead.

“You owe me one.”

I walked to her bag and was about to raid it for the sledgehammer when I realized there were a few strands of black hair stuck in the zip(most likely placed there by a certain someone upon request). I sighed. The disturbingly observant Pikachu had pulled out all the stops, and if I placed the hairs more than five millimeters from their original position I would find my *** kicked so hard I would knock myself out on Pluto.

I decided against taking that chance and went up to my own bed and began to do a bit of self-schooling. Pulling out a book that was titled, “Mathematics textbook, Grade 6,” I began to read its contents from page 144, as my psychotic mother had ordered. Hell, the damn book was two grades above my level! Oh well.

Square Root, Cube root, Square and Cube

A square root is…

I skipped that portion and went down to the tables. I groaned. I had to memorize everything by tonight, and I was going to get hell if I didn’t.

A table of Squares

Square of 1 is 1
Square of 2 is 4
Square of 3 is 9
Square of 4 is 16
Square of 5 is 25
Square of 6 is 36
Square of 7 is 49
Square of 8 is 64
Square of 9 is 81

“Square…of…ten…is…99…” I pitched forward and fell asleep.

When I came to my senses, I found myself being shaken by someone. I didn’t know who as my head was lolling about on my head, but I sure as hell knew someone was shaking me.

“Brendan, wake up!” The person released her hold, and I collapsed backwards, keeping my eyes shut. But I already knew who it was, so there was no need to peek.

“Damn!” Rinoa muttered. “Oh well, if you’re not going to wake up I shall take drastic measures…”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

Five minutes later, a larger-than-usual sledgehammer threatened to squish me as I was chased around the room.

“COME BACK HERE!” Do I need to tell you who said that?

“What did I do wrong this time!?”

“YOU TOUCHED ME!” the young lady shrieked as the sledgehammer landed on my head again.

I stopped and collapsed on the nearest bed. My head was spinning and I was reeling from impact.

“DIE!” The sledgehammer was about to incapacitate me when…

“Agh!” She dropped the hammer, clutched her side and fell backwards onto the ground.

I shot up from the bed and inspected my friend, “Are you okay?”

A hand smacked into my cheek and I decided to leave her alone. “You should leave that hammer alone until that gash heals,” I remarked, “It’s not gonna do you any good if you keep opening your wound.” I heard her mutter something as she got up.

“Have you gone to see Felix?” I asked her. She merely nodded.

I went back to memorizing the squares of numbers 1 to 10(because 11-30 was for tomorrow) and the room was silent. I heard pages ruffle as they were turned, and I looked across the room to see Rinoa reading a Pokemon Encyclopedia. I burned with jealousy. Damn hell I wanted the book, never got it, and now I was stuck memorizing squares and their roots and Rinoa seemed to be taunting me, reading the book within my sights.

Focus, I told myself. Better safe than sorry. I tried to memorize…


“I’m discharged. Sort of.” Felix had a large grin plastered all over his face, and stitches where he had been sewn up. Deathtantz had nearly cut him into four separate pieces of Pikachu, and it was quite a miracle that he survived. Of course carrying Rinoa and Felix at the same time wasn’t easy, but who said being good was easy? Carrying Rinoa to safety also resulted in the earlier scene with a certain sledgehammer.

“Come here.” Rinoa walked in front of Felix and put a hand over his head and closed her eyes. I stared in amazement as a humming filled the room and the wound sealed normally without any scars, the stitches popping out.

“Fangs,” He wrote as he shut the door.

My stomach growled and I checked my Pokegear. “We really should get some lunch. It’s like, five and I haven’t eaten.”

“Sounds good to me.” Rinoa made for the door

“I want my Pokechow.” Big guess who that was.

“Sheesh.” I said.

Amazing how it only takes a day to recover from injuries.


“SYAHH!!! SHSHHHHKLJMKLXCMS” the creature shrieked incomprehensibly as adamantium welded, seamlessly integrated and grafted itself onto its host.

“Sir, stop it, please!” The creature pleaded after another scream erupted from its already worn throat.

“It’ll make you stronger.” A fat man pushed a lever to speed up the process and the scream intensified. “I’ve sped up the process, so that it’ll be over soon.”

“Thanks. SYAAAAAAAAH!” Another screech filled the air.



“Yes.” A hooded figure stood up.




“Of course.”





I woke up and quickly checked my Pokegear. “Eight am…”

Five minutes later, I cradled a HM in my hands and stared at my Pokemon while sitting on a bed. A Mudkip, a Nidorino and a Diglett. Great.

“What am I gonna do with this…?” I sighed, looking down at the Hidden Machine in my hand. It contained the technique for Cut, the move required to get past the stupid bush near the Vermillion Gym. The problem was that I didn’t have any pokemon capable of learning such a move. As far as I could see. My Nidorino was too thick to learn any move, Kipper, my Mudkip, would probably damage the HM with boogers due to a severe case of cold, and my Diglett had no claws whatsoever.

“Mud-KIP!” The mud-fish gave a fantastic sneeze that threw him across the room and smashed him into the wall, at the same time spraying boogers and air at approximately a hundred miles per hour. He slid to the floor and wiped his nose apologetically. I looked up at where Rinoa was sleeping. She still hadn’t woken up. Sheesh. Heavy sleeper.

“Diglett!” The small pokemon screeched and slashed the mud-fish. I sighed. Girls…

Suddenly I realized something. I smacked my head against the metal frame of the upper deck before staggering upright.

“I am sooooo dumb,” I muttered to myself as I staggered down for breakfast, my pokemon trailing behind.

An hour later I stood outside the bush blocking the way to more cash and a step towards bragging rights. And I was going to cut it. Literally and practically. Get past the bush and beat crap out of that stupid ex-Lieutenant. I did have the advantage. Provided I was right.

“Digger!” The little pokemon appeared. “Cut that damned bush down!” She did. Grudgingly though. She just can’t seem to take swearing well.

The path was clear.

I walked in and watched two medics comically carrying a guy off in a stretcher open-mouthed. The guy looked like he’d been blown up.


“GAAAAAAAARGH!” Another guy came flying out of the open double doors of the Gym. Now I realized what the wall was for. And why the entire place was so hard to access.

Too dangerous.

The guy smashed into the wall where another bunch of medics were waiting. Within a minute he was carried off in the same fashion as the first guy. I raised an eyebrow and ran towards the Gym.

I felt hands grab me and spin me around to face their owner.

“Young man, you are NOT going in there.” Officer Jenny looked tired, and so did the other policemen standing behind her.

I rolled my eyes. “Dragonite beats any explosion.”

“You don’t understand the damn situation!” Officer Jenny was beginning to lose her temper. “That Gym Leader's paranoid! He's put pressure-sensitive explosives under random tiles, and if you press the button in the wrong bin, it'll blow up right in your face! It's a damn disaster! We had to have medics on 24/7 just in case some guy walks in and gets blown up! Luckily they don't kill, but they cause enough damage. I think all the army days has gone to his head."

“Why don’t you try barging in and stopping him?” I was curious.

“Last time we tried, 20 men went to hospital. I’m not taking any more risks again.”

“Well, I’m going in and getting that-”

“ARE YOU INSANE!?” This time the entire squad hollered.

“What if I am?”

“Fine. At your own risk.” Officer Jenny gave in.

“But ma’am-”

“He’s just a kid-”

“-let him risk his life-”

“OH SHUUUUUUUUUT UP ALREADY!” Officer Jenny yelled. “He’s going in!”

The entire squad groaned and I entered the gym.


“Uh…” I sat up and rubbed the sand out of my eyes. I scratched my head as I stood up. Or tried to.

“Ouch!” I smashed my head against the ceiling and sat down heavily again. “Dammitall!”

“Can’t an injured person rest in peace…?” A voice came from below. Diagonally below, to be specific.

“What the hell have you done to yourself this time?” I got out of the bed and went to look at the origin of the voice.

“See for yourself.”

“Holy-!” My eyes ran over the bandages covering Brendan’s beat-up body. “What the hell did you do to yourself!?”

“Challenge the bloody Gym Leader of doom who sets explosives in floor tiles and switches in dustbins.”

“Wha?” I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Step on the wrong tile and you get blown out of the building,” Brendan said miserably.

“Just who are you referring to?!” I was getting mad.

“Do I have to spell it out for you? A Lieutenant that goes by the name Surge.”

“I don’t get it.”

If Brendan could slap his forehead, he would have. “Can’t you put two and two together? Lieutenant…”


“Read it all together now.”

“Lieutenant Surge?”

“YES. Wow, Rinoa got the answer, give her a round of applause! Sheesh! Took you waaay too long. Someone should check inside your-”

One blow on a male cranium and twenty minutes later…

“Soooooo…This little thingy is supposed to help me cut the bush?” I held the Hidden Machine in hand as I stood in front of the bush. “I don’t get it. There isn’t anything on it that suggests it can cut the bush.”

My Pokegear suddenly rang and I answered it.

Brendan’s bandaged face appeared on the screen.

“Good timing! I was going to ask you how I was gonna cut that bush with this thingy.”

“I figured…” Brendan sighed. “Look, Technical Machines and Hidden Machines are used to teach Pokemon moves. In the case of Hidden Machines, they teach moves that allow you to get past certain obstacles. These obstacles have specially made to withstand nearly EVERYTHING but the move it’s supposed to react to. Few normal attacks can demolish bushes, and those are insanely powerful.”


“So back to the point. This Hidden Machine is programmed with the move Cut. Most people get it by beating the living **** out of the Officer Jenny in this town, but it’s a reward for the two of us.”

“Now how do I use it?”

“Just like how you use a Technical Machine. Sheesh. And teach it to a Pokemon that can scratch stuff.” Brendan rolled his eyes.

“I am very tempted to smash your head with a certain metal object again. Please don’t make me do it.” I had a demented smile on my face.

“Whatever.” More eye rolling.

“I’m gonna make you wish you were dead when I get back,” I snarled.

“No way.” Brendan’s face was covered with a smirk.

“That’s it! You’re sooooo dead!”

“Suit yourself. And don’t call me when you need help. My Pokegear will be off.” Another annoying smirk and the line was cut off.

“Boys!” I muttered as I released Mandy.

“CHAR!” Mandy emerged from her ball. She flicked her tail experimentally and nearly set my clothes on fire.

“Whoa!” I was shocked by Mandy’s sudden change of behavior.

“Wow! I evolved! I feel great! Time to battle!” Mandy got into a battle stance.

“Mandy, we’re not going to battle. Yet. I need you to learn a move.”

“What move?”


“What’s that?”

“I’m not so sure myself.”

“Okay…” I placed the disc on her head and watched as she relaxed, absorbed the data and learned the move.

“I know!” Mandy suddenly jumped up, making the disc land on the ground. I quickly pocketed it and followed after her.

She charged right up to the bush and with one mighty blow, she sliced the infernal bush into half. So much for toughness. We marched right in…

And stared at Officer Jenny and her squad with a bunch of medics gaped open-mouthed at the bush.

“Er…Hellooooo…” I waved a hand in front of her face.

“No way….” She stared blankly on at the bush as it regrew. “He got out unscathed…”

When I realized the connotations, I ran right into the Gym. “Stupid Brendan, he lied to me! Now how the hell do you get across this minefield? Provided he did tell the truth…”
I stared across the floor.

“I think he is right though…”

“Need help?” A certain signboard appeared in front of me.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Any pokeballs?” Felix wrote.

“I do have everyone with me. That was rhetorical.” I glared at the yellow being.

“Empty ones, Miss Rock.” Cue sledgehammer. “And if you smack me no one can help you.” Un-cue sledgehammer.

“So what do I do?” I asked Felix, putting a little faith in his intelligence.

“Chuck the Pokeballs into the trash bins.”

“WHAT!?” I was outraged. “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ONE COSTS!?”

“The alternative is a week in hospital,” Felix retorted, “give or take. Of course you could be insanely lucky…”

“Fine…FINE…” I flicked one at the nearest bin(2 metres away) and it barely went ten centimeters near the bin. Go figure.

“I’ll do it.” Felix grabbed one and bicycle-kicked it into the bin and instantly there was an explosion.

“Wrong bin then. Moving on…” Felix sent five pokeballs flying in various directions in various ways which amazingly landed in a bin each. All blew up.

“How long are we gonna take?” I tapped a foot impatiently.

“Watch your step.” Felix flung another ten Pokeballs through the air and all landed in different bins. Sometimes I wonder what in the blue hell he has been doing in the Professor’s lab when he could beat down stuff like nobodies’ business.

The bins all exploded once again. Yawn.

“Only one left.” Felix kicked the Pokeball at the final bin and there was a loud, satisfying click.

“Not so fast!” A voice echoed out of hidden speakers just as I was about to take a step out of the gigantic two by two metre square I was in. “There’s another switch. And find it soon…there’s a time limit.” Manaical laughter shot through the speakers. “And rules on what not to use the time for and the fitting punishment. Hehehe. If you cry, you’ll be binned. If you complain, you’ll be binned. If you can’t keep up, you’ll be binned. Between you and me, little girl, that crazy little Pikachu has been helping you all along, which is against MY rules and I want to bin you. Your three minutes starts NOW!” The man sank into another round of maniacal laughter before the speakers were cut off.

“Cheery guy.” Felix noted in a notepad he pulled out of nowhere.

“Whazzat?” I pointed to the notepad.

“Personal Diary.” Felix stowed it away. “Any more spare balls?”

“Uh….” I hesitated.

“Give it to me!”

“It’s YOUR Pokeball.”

“You know I don’t need one and you can just find a replacement. Now give it to me!” I did so and he kicked it into an adjacent can from the first. Another click.


“Can we retrieve the Pokeballs? I want them back.” I was totally out of Pokeballs.

“No.” The Gym Leader’s voice echoed throughout the Gym. “Now get your *** in here so that I can kick it.”

“Wait! One more question!”


“Felix, how the hell did you know where the second switch was?”

“Inside info.” Both man and Pokemon said.

“Okaay….” I strode towards the back of the Gym, where double doors were waiting and walked right through.

“Close sesame.” The door swung shut at the command of the Gym Leader.

His spiky hair was white, and he still wore a soldier’s uniform with the Lieutenant rank on it.

I looked around the room. It was relatively small battle arena, with a staircase in one corner. Probably the command centre for the insane security system.

“Hehehehehehe. I’ll fill you in a little about myself. I used to be a Lieutenant in the army before I joined Team Rocket-”


“What?” He looked at me blankly. “Team Rocket died years ago.”

“No. There’s another Team Rocket. They deployed one guy onto the S.S. Anne and it sunk after I fought that guy so damn hard.”

“Hmm…That calls for some investigation…But let’s get battling first. Three ln three, no time limit. Electrode!”


A Torchic and an Electrode faced each other.


“Jump on it!”

The agile little chick hopped onto the Electrode, which was beginning to roll.

“Bad move. Rapid Spin together with Rollout!”


The Electrode began to spin impossibly, rolling randomly and spinning in different directions at the same time. Chick began to get dizzy.

“Chick, get off that Electrode!” I quickly ordered. She obeyed, landing right next to the Electrode, staggering because of disorientation and dizziness.

“Now use Rollout on it.” Lieutenant Surge smirked. He had already won. Chick had a severe type disadvantage to the Rock-type attack. Coupled with her dizziness, she was basically a sitting duck.

“CHICK! DODGE!” My Pokemon was too dizzy to notice the giant ball squish her into the ground. Hopefully she didn’t feel the pain too. “Return!” I looked into her Pokeball, found her unconscious and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Mandy!” My Charmeleon appeared, ready to battle.

“Continue Rollout!” The Gym Leader began to whistle infuriatingly.

“I’m no pushover! Dig!”

“What?” Surge stopped whistling.

“Wait, Mandy. Just wait. Trail it around.” I told the Charmeleon using my mind.

“Roger.” The reply came.

I watched Surge and his Electrode look all over the arena, disoriented by Mandy’s disappearance.

How did Mandy learn Dig you ask? It’s a natural ability that comes when born. Though to be used in desperate situations.

The Electrode finally stopped Rollout and stood confused.

“NOW!” A claw ripped through the ground from right under the Pokemon, stabbing it and tearing it right through.



Mandy hadn’t finished her attack when the Electrode received the command. It was hanging on by a few seconds, and with the last of its strength, it exploded very violently. The force threw me backwards, and I crashed into the ground.

“Damn…” Both of us withdrew our Pokemon.

“Two birds with one stone. Down to your last Pokemon now, eh?” The Gym Leader grinned evilly. “Magneton!”

I gritted my teeth. Speary would be destroyed before two minutes had passed if I sent her out. The only choice was…


The Pikachu hopped out with boxing gloves and immediately I knew what to do.

“Interesting…” The Gym Leader muttered.

“Double Kick!”


Felix took the blow head-on gamely and smashed a couple of kicks into the Magneton’s face. The metallic pokemon reeled.

“Hmm…Let’s see…” Lieutenant Surge frowned.

“Double Kick!”

“Isn’t this getting repetitive? Flash.”


Bright light shot into Felix’s eyes, blinding him. But he still managed to land another two blows on the Magneton’s face, making it fly backwards into the wall destructively. Bothe pokemon made their way back in front of their trainers.

“Felix, you okay?” I asked him telepathically.

“Stupid light…but I can still find that lousy b*stard. Ultrasonic humming.”

“Okay.” I released the breath I was holding.

The Magneton was nearly done. It was spinning and moving randomly. Another blow would blast it out of battle.

“Felix, charge at Magneton!” Felix rocketed towards the Pokemon

“Magneton, Explosion!” Magneton began to prime Explosion.


“What the ****!?”

Magneton was about to blow when Felix stuck out his tougue at the Magneton and did something else that horribly humiliated the Pokemon, then went rolling like a wheel back to his side of the field. Magneton got so mad its circuits fused, putting it out of the match.

“Interesting…self-destructing Magneton are rare and few people know about them…How did you know?” Lieutenant Surge returned the smoking Pokemon back into its Pkeball

“Uh-huh. Soooooo predictable.” I smirked.

“Well, the next one won’t blow up. Raichu!”


The Raichu appeared, obviously more experienced, powerful and hardened than Felix. Felix and I needed a whole load of brain power to beat this one.

“I thought you might expect it.” The man chuckled. “Mega Kick!”

“I hope your eyesight cleared up Felix. Grab his leg and kick him right back in any sensitive area!”

“Roger. And my eyesight HAS cleared up. Stupid Magneton’s fall was an eyeopener.

Felix grabbed his leg and was about to throw his own kick when the Raichu grabbed Felix’s leg.

“Stalemate.” I racked my brains.

“Flash!” Both of us said simultaneously.

Instantly both electric mice jumped away from each other, their eyes smarting in pain.

“I know you can find that stupid Raichu, get over there and whoop his *** however you want!” I yelled.

“Same thing Raichu!” Lieutenant Surge countered.

They staggered over to each other. Then both stood at attention, bowed, got into a battle stance and began fighting. Trouble is, their limbs moved so fast I couldn’t figure out which way the fight was going. The only indication was all the ducking and sidestepping and head shifting they were doing. Which reminded me of Dragonball.

Finally both landed a blow on each other’s stomach when their eyesight cleared up, and both slid back and landed on their bottoms.

“Felix, you okay?”

“For now.” He stood up.

I watched my opponent inspect his Pokemon and helping it up.

“Okay, I want you to engage in a grappling match. Slam him around,” I told Felix telepathically again.”

“Okay.” Felix flexed his arms.


(The last Point Of View has gone on too long so I shall take ovarrr.)

“Get ready little man, I shall b*tchslap you with the floor.” The Raichu did a bit of trash talking.

“I’m going to wipe the floor with your *** before you do. Literally.” I smirked.

“That just makes it more gross.”

“You’ll be pleading for mercy when I’m done.”

“Sheesh. I’ll get my own back.”

“Slam!” My opponent was about to smack me with his tail when I grasped it firmly and threw him across the battlefield.

“Dammit!” He got up painfully. For my genetic family getting your tail pulled is sh*t painful.

“Mega Punch then, Raichu!”

“Take this!” The Raichu drew back a fist and threw it at me.

Big mistake.

I grabbed his wrist, twisted it, led him around and around and around me, then threw him painfully back first on the ground over my head.

“Ow…You’ll pay for that!” I hopped away as he attempted to punch me.

“That’s right, Felix, keep going!” I heard Rinoa yell.

“Raichu, get up and try to get him with one of your combos!”

“You learn combos!? Gay Raichu.” I raised an eyebrow.

“So what if I do? I’m gonna smash your face in!” He spat and rushed forward.

And so he left his nards wide open. And they got kicked.

He doubled over in pain, and I stuffed his head between my legs, lifted him so that he was perpendicular towards the ground and piledrivered him.

He went down after that. Not six feet under kind of down, just fainting very peaceably.

“Nice one.” Raichu’s master gaped at me.

“Alright!” Big guess who that was.

Five minutes later, we exited from the Gym richer and weighed down by another badge and Technical Machine. And of course another gaping squad.

“Holy sh*t…that’s a record…Twice in a day!” Officer Jenny said as we left by the bush. Sensitive ears rule.

Back to the Pokemon Centre. Someone was gonna get hurt real bad…

“BRENDAN BIRCH!!!” Once again, big guess who that was. You can’t figure that out? Oh bother.

Rinoa was screaming at Brendan. To her, he was probably shivering under the covers, because of the Brendan-like protrusion in the covers. Thank God the door was shut. Her voice was deafening.

“HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP UP THIS FACADE!?” And in the first place any idiot would have realized if Brendan were really blown up he would be in hospital. Obviously he had ran for it somewhere *else*.

“Really!” She pulled of the covers and I started laughing at the expression on her face as she gaped at the bolsters and pillows that made up a fake Brendan under the covers.

I watched her suck in as much air as she could and walk out of the room. Immediately I shut the door and plugged my ears with parsley I pulled out of my safety deposit box.

“I’LL FIND YOU SOMEHOW, BRENDAN!” I heard her storm into a lift.

Nobody home. Chick was snoozing in a bed, and Mandy and Speary were chatting merrily. The last time I interrupted them, I ate a few Drill Pecks and Embers.

Brendan’s pokemon? Nah, he had gone somewhere else.

Something clicked in my brain. Brendan’s bag was by the side of the bed. Which meant…

“Is she gone?” Brendan whispered. I lip-read him and scribbled a reply on my signboard before I kept the parsley in my safety deposit box.

“Ain’t it obvious?”

“Phew. I’ve been hiding in the bathroom for hours…Some fresh air at last.” He sighed in relief.

Little did we know Rinoa had gotten smarter.

“AHA!” The door opened and Rinoa suddenly appeared.

“Oh boy,” I wrote to him.

“Oh sh*t.”

Let’s just end this here and sum it down to someone got hurt real bad by a certain metal object.

All’s well that ends well.

“But wait!” You ask. “What about Brendan’s battle!?”

Apparently he had Kipper Mud Slap Electrode and Kipper went down with Electrode, William(that nasty Nidorino who bit me in the nards) Double-Kicking Magneton to hell and dieing together with him and his Diglett, Digger, whom he had captured during training, smash my arch enemy Raichu to death via Dig. That’s just unfair, isn’t it? Now let’s end this chapter.


He who commences many things finishes but few.

The PikaMew Fanatic
10th January 2006, 3:58 PM
Awesome chapter. I like how you added that air of suspense with the Maniac B*stard. I also REALLY feel sorry for Brendan right now.
*;025;: Felix, YOU ROCK!!!*

10th January 2006, 8:30 PM
Da ha ha!!! *clears throat* Okay, I think I'm better now. But man, Felix, that was freakin amazing.

At first when you were describing the creature in the metal suit that should have died I thought you were referring to Mewtwo, like from the movie, but then I remembered your last chapter and remembered Scyther.

Oh, and regarding Gardevoir. Either today or tomorrow I will do a freakin' mass update and post new chapters to all of my stories. So never fear, you will find out what happens to Gardevoir.

Anyway, I found nothing to gripe about. See ya later.

10th January 2006, 9:47 PM
“Empty ones, Miss Rock.” Cue sledgehammer. “And if you smack me no one can help you.” Un-cue sledgehammer.
Nice, very nice. I had something liked that planned in EL. Why did I say that? So you don't think I copied you. Anyway very nice, I only saw about two errors, but can't be bothered to nitpick. overall great and funny, keep it up.

;359;(Gagged as pre-requested)

;373; Description: Some places great, some places not so great, plot, umm, no comment, but so far really, really good, characters, you're one of the few people to create a Pikachu you either hate or love, well done, and Rinoas a refreshing break from your standard heroine.

;094; AWESOME, Omi award!!!!

;249-d; The Manic (censored) rules, go Deathtantz!

;330; Could you get Felix to lend us a hand, Rayquaza's busy at helping me at the moment, and Jack's getting very annoying, so we need someone who can (censored) woop twice as well as old Rayquaza?

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th January 2006, 10:02 PM
PikaMew Fanatic: You could feel sorry for Rinoa too. Her side is going to burn like hell. I will ensure that.

Shiny_Deoxys: Deathtantz will be the few metal freaks that survive their run-in with Felix and co. *hint hint* There will be more videos though. And Dragonite is left for the grand finale. Well, not exactly finale, but tense enough.

Nylf: How about this fic's Rayquaza?

Felix: If you don't whoop the living sh*t out of him I shall poke you in the liver with my finger. It doesn't still hurt after I hacked it up, right?

Rayquaza: *gulp* Ookay.

And Felix is a bit like durian; You either hate him to hell or love him so much you wanna marry him *Yuck*. But too much of him reduces his 1337ness after a while. But still fun.

Oh yeah if anyone did take a little notice Rinoa's hair turned black somewhere in the chapter if I remember correctly. THIS IS NOT A MISTAKE. I already told Nylf about certain changes, and Rinoa's hair will become black and her eyes red. Will post edited chapters this afternoon(my time). Felix still opens up cans of whoop-***, and an improved Chapter 2 will be back. Mwahahahahahaha.

11th January 2006, 3:56 PM
That's a really great story you got there, when will the next chappie be up;094;

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th January 2006, 7:33 AM
m0jj0: I don't know. If schedule allows, maybe the end of next week. Toodles.

Note: If I manage to use the compy at home(I am now on school com) I WILL post the pictures that I've drawn damn long ago. Hehehehehehe.

12th January 2006, 8:10 AM
;094; ;094; ;094; ;094; ;094; ;094; ;008;

Hi. This is my first fan fic. I've been storing each story in my head for the last few years so it's kinda long. The prologue was made through weeks of nights before falling asleep of contemplation. Any clash with other's stories is entirely coincidental. Hope you enjoy it. Please rate it!

The green Dragon stared at his most favoured subordinate. He had been betrayed. And he was getting retribution. "He hath known the day would cometh, and knew, someday, his death wath nigh..." The rather familiar looking figure stared as remorsely back. For the last 10 years of his little 50 years of his life, he had tolerated. Endured. But he could take no more. He had enough of his master's treachery. And he alone had to oppotunity to have ended it earlier but no, he let it happen, let his heart be broken, he had had it. He charged up and unleashed his ultimate attack...


A blinding flash, and the world was gone...well, almost.

-Prologue 2-
A young girl made her way around the Forest, dressed in a plain white shirt and black long pants. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer. She had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened. But she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.
She would find out the truth today.
As she sauntered uneasily around, she was aware that the place was dark. Very dark. She had even brushed the brown hair out of her eyes just to be sure. Just then, she saw something flash somewhere. She distinctly heard a "Chuuuuuuuuu!" sound. She headed towards the sound, happy to see the most famous and the cutest pokemon in the forest (in her opinion). She absentmindedly brushed away the leaves as she headed towards the light. She didn't bother when her hand brushed against something hard and came away sticky from something. She burst into a clearing and saw...
A Pikachu!
She rushed towards it and hugged it. Just as the Pikachu was about to zap her in defense, it suddenly changed its mind and stood still. She picked the little pikachu up and kissed it. It squirmed and thrashed but she held it still as she headed towards the exit (She knew where it was because the nice trainer had given her a map of the forest and forgot to take it back), talking to it all the while. Just then she heard a buzzing sound. She dropped "dear little pika"(that was what she called it while she was talking to it) and looked around, brown ponytail slapping her back as she did so. Her blue eyes widened. She saw a swarm of Beedrill fly towards her. The Pikachu felt a strong desire to protect the girl and zapped every Beedrill it saw.
It wasn't enough.
Both girl and Pikachu were stung again and again... till all went black.

The girl found herself in a hospital bed, hurting all over, with her mother at the side, sleeping in a chair. Somehow, the woman sensed the girl's awakening and awoke. She gently reprimanded her daughter, but she knew her chiding was just the calm before the storm...
The girl's father burst in.
The girl had never seen her dad so angry before.
He looked like he would burst every blood vessel in his body in a minute.
"How could you wander into the forest without anybody!? Do you know you could have gotten killed!"He raged.
The lecture went on. The volume of his voice ascended every minute.
Then it got violent and hysterical and loud.
The girl screamed.
The mother screamed and pleaded with her husband.
The man was yelling.
The ordeal ended when the nurses and the doctors dragged Ruby out of the room to avoid further disturbance to the patients and mental harm to the girl and the mother. The latter collapsed into a chair and sobbed into her hands. The former hid behind a curtain and cried. She hurt badly. Both physically and mentally. But she was determined to visit "dear little pika" everyday, even if she was beaten up everyday. she would do it persevere...

-A few months later-

The family was leaving Kanto. She had said goodbye to everyone. She had also said goodbye to the nice young woman who had introduced her to Pokemon. But she was still worried. Worried about "dear little pika". She had given him a memento. It was a round pendant. she had broken half of it and given it to "dear little pika" and asked him to keep it safely so that...
"When we see each other again... we'll use this to find each other...okay?"
"dear little pika" had nodded.
"I'll come back for you, someday!"
As girl and pokemon waved good bye, the girl cried. She knew that they would not meet again...

Little did she know she was wrong. They would meet again. And the Pikachu. It did not know of its true potential. But it would be revealed to it...one day. And thus will the world know of the legend of...

Felix the mutant Pikachu!

Also the craziest one of them all.

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th January 2006, 8:20 AM
Look...I'd appreciate it if you merely typed what you put in the title and left it at that. But you had to go on smiley spammage and quote my prologue, thus making me guess you are intelligent enough to write properly, and that just p*sses me off. So, because I'm feeling nice today, I'm telling you to edit your post or get beat. I can come up with something funnier at your expense, and I'm being nice by not immediately joking at your expense and reporting you. So there.

EDIT: I got teh pictures! Mwahahahahaha. Below:
Another Rinoa pic. (http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/7931/rinoa23cq.jpg)

It could be considered a comic...but I decided not. Note: Read from right to left. Text in order: "HOLY SH*T!" "IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM! (http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/8584/jumbosword1md.jpg)

Finally a Felix picture! Fine, I know it sucks, but there's only so much scanners can do... (http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/9752/ssword7wd.jpg)

EDIT EDIT: Chapters edited! And I accidentally deleted opening crap for the first seven chapters... (T.T) Oh well. What's done's done. Pika out. Once and for all.

;025; Which mean he finally lies six feet under after falling nine storeys.

Sh*t. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

20th January 2006, 3:32 PM
But too much of him reduces his 1337ness after a while. But still fun.

Oh yeah if anyone did take a little notice Rinoa's hair turned black somewhere in the chapter if I remember correctly.

I didn't really get those two things. What's 1337ness mean in letters? And which Chapter are you talking about when you said Rinoa's hair turned black? (I'm so sorry if my posts are n00bish and stuff! ^^;; )

Felix Feral Fezirix
21st January 2006, 2:30 AM
1337 is a language. A launguage for the lazy elite. 1337 stands for leet. Yup. But some prefer eleet. it sounds cooler. Of course they don't type it in letters like I do now, but rather in 1337 and 31337 to sound cooler. lol.

ANd I was referring to Chapter 16 at the (halfway through the chapter) part. I edited all the chapters now. Now go look at my pictures. *kick*

21st January 2006, 5:07 PM
Okie, thanx for answering! :D

Felix Feral Fezirix
22nd January 2006, 1:24 PM
Someone go look at my pics. *kick*

The PikaMew Fanatic
22nd January 2006, 4:06 PM
I got teh pictures! Mwahahahahaha. Below:
Another Rinoa pic. (http://%22http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/7931/rinoa23cq.jpg%22)

It could be considered a comic...but I decided not. Note: Read from right to left. Text in order: "HOLY SH*T!" "IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM! (http://%22http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/8584/jumbosword1md.jpg%22)

Finally a Felix picture! Fine, I know it sucks, but there's only so much scanners can do... (http://%22http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/9752/ssword7wd.jpg%22)
I hate to bust your bubble, but these links all lead to the Microsoft website.

22nd January 2006, 8:10 PM
I got teh pictures! Mwahahahahaha. Below:
Another Rinoa pic.

It could be considered a comic...but I decided not. Note: Read from right to left. Text in order: "HOLY SH*T!" "IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!

Finally a Felix picture! Fine, I know it sucks, but there's only so much scanners can do...

I always get the "This Page Can Not be Displayed" when I try to look at them.

Shiny anything
26th January 2006, 10:39 PM
me two i cant get them up

Felix Feral Fezirix
27th January 2006, 3:19 AM
Losy crap...can't figure out what's wrong. I'll repost the pictures somehow.

29th January 2006, 6:03 AM
Soree if this is a SPAM post but I agree with Shiny deoxys. I tried it again and again but it wouldn't work...

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th January 2006, 2:06 PM
I'm trying ta get it fixed!!! get off mi back!

4th February 2006, 3:59 AM
:surfpika: I love ure story!It took me 4hours to read the story,but it was worth it.I give it a 9/10.

Felix Feral Fezirix
4th February 2006, 6:48 AM
Me fixed problem! Me pwn! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Okay okay, this time, I assure you that it works. Now go look.

Minachu: Thank you! And I like Pikachu on surfboard too. Nyahahahahaha.

Felix Feral Fezirix
19th March 2006, 2:09 PM
Finally! I have finished Chapter 16 against all odds! -ish sneaking on currently- Read and enjoy, people. Longest chapter EVAR. 24 pages of stuff. Don't worry, you'll be overloaded after this. Too many things happening!

Some interesting stuff. And an ode to something. And a cool battle. And sorry for not completing sooner. I HATE HOUSEWORK! GAH! AND HOMEWORK! GAH! ROT IN HELL! AND GROUNDING FROM COMPUTER! DIE, ALL YOU EVIL SINS! Ahem.

And these brackets [] indicate translation. I’m in my country’s Police Cadet Corps, so I know all the commands, problem is, I only use them in Malay, thus the translation.

This chapter touches a lot on the emotional aspects. Lots of fluff, and some interesting stuff. As well as cliffhanger.

Chapter 16
-Peter and Crobat Schiltz-


“Those are some ill pants.”

The gangster and his cronies s******ed at they walked past me as I took a nice, long stroll. It wasn’t a wrong statement: Rinoa had made sure she’d left all the pants I had in a horrible state in addition to smacking me twice on the head with a sledgehammer before her side hurt.

Anyway, I didn’t give a sh*t about those losers. I had some things to worry about. Like getting a decent pair of pants.

I checked my Pokegear. April had gone and passed. Nearing the end of May, I had already collected three badges. Wow.

I didn’t know why, but I started thinking about myself. What I had become and accomplished since I began studying. I chuckled. Back then, I wouldn’t even have done something like that. I’d be like one of those idiots who mocked my trousers.

Life was bad. Like a stupid roulette game. You win, you lose. Everyone was trying to win. Problem was I wasn’t on the winning end from the start.

Despite my mum being Gym Leader of Mahogany, I was still…shall we say…deprived.

Let’s not trail on about unpleasant things, shall we?

I had time to myself for once. Felix wasn’t there to talk to or yell at or generally be annoyed with, and Rinoa was involuntarily dragged off with him. Apparently he wanted payment for bashing the crap out of the beloved Lieutenant. Our Pokeballs had been left at the Center, so no chance of my Pokémon popping out and creating a commotion.

A piece of paper was about to run into my face when I grabbed it and smoothed it out, before having a desire to bash my head against the wall. For the thousandth time, another one of the old geezer’s flyers had shown up, proclaiming that he would take on ANYTHING and ANYBODY who cared to attempt to beat him. And he said he wanted us there for the end. He wanted a stupid rematch of sorts to cream us once and for all. Of course, it wouldn’t be until midnight, and it was only eight now, so basically I was left alone.

And just because two people whipped his *** like a solstice turkey doesn’t mean he has to go around challenging anyone. Yawn. In fact, insane as it might sound, he might have been celebrating the fact that someone thrashed his Gym. Well, since hardly anyone could even REACH him in the first place…

Felix bounded out of an alleyway, an ice-cream in one hand and a finely polished and sharpened sword in another.

“Yo.” He waved the sword hand and went on with his business. Which was apparently running away from an extremely red-faced Rinoa.

“Damn!” She swore as she stopped in front of me. “Where’s he gone now!?” She didn’t notice me. I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about that. “Bloody b*stard…” She ran off again.

Before she had gone a couple of steps, she turned back and saw me. Great.

“Say, do you know where Felix went?” Rinoa panted.

“That-a-way.” I pointed to the direction which I was walking.

“Okay…thanks.” Rinoa stormed off. “Stupid Pikachu…”

I kept on walking. I needed some time to myself. I consulted the map of Kanto I had, and the next Gym on the route was Celadon. Grass Pokémon. I groaned. I required a nice little strategy to wipe the floor with Erika’s butt.

A little while later, I entered the deserted residential area. Of course it was deserted. Nearly everyone would be watching Lieutenant whip crap out of everyone challenging him. Or getting whipped.

Little did I know I was damn wrong.


“Gah!” I let loose the anger inside me. That stupid Pikachu wanted me to buy him a nice toolbox a whole bunch of gizmos and crap, and he had gotten me lost. I sighed and looked around. Damn Brendan Birch, pointing me in the wrong direction…

Suddenly I realized that I shouldn’t have been here in the first place. What in the blue hell would a professional DIY shop be doing around a residential area?

This I realized too late as an arm wrapped itself around my throat and a hand cupped itself over my mouth. It was too late to scream. I tried to lash out with my legs at my attacker’s groin, but missed every single time. The hold tightened and cut off my air supply. I choked and struggled with the forearm that held me tightly as well as bite the hand covering my mouth, but to no avail. Well, the only thing I accomplished was making me feel as if my side had been split open again.

After being dragged backwards for less than a minute, I was thrown hard onto the ground face first and then picked and shoved against a wall. From there I could see outside the alleyway I was in between the legs of the goons that brought me there. Their bodies were in shadow. I couldn’t see anything identifiable.

I shivered. I was scared.

Who wouldn’t?

I let loose a ear-piercing scream and prayed that someone heard me as a goon smashed me over the head with a bat.

“Shut up. Save your screaming until we start having our fun.”

Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes for no reason. When the night was over, I would be feeling worse than dead.

I screamed again as loudly as I could. I could feel my body panicking together with my brain. I was going hysterical.

I felt something touch my chest and I screamed again.

Suddenly a goon turned and said, “What are you looking at?”

A familiar voice said, “Four punks who’re about to make a career change.”


I watched as Brendan slapped Rinoa’s face. “Rinoa, wake up!” I yawned as Brendan made the thousandth attempt to awaken Sleeping Beauty(Actually, it should be Sleeping jack***, but that’s beside the point).

“Nnh…” Rinoa’s red eyes fluttered open slowly.

“You okay?” I shivered. Brendan sure changed mood fast.

“Y-yeah…” Rinoa weakly got to her feet.

Sometimes being dumb was good.

Rinoa failed to notice the bodies lying on the ground around us. They had been brutally knocked out. Very brutally.

I realized my wrong assumption a few seconds later.

“Whoa!” She jumped back and crashed into the wall, hurting herself and sliding all the way back down and groaning.

“……I think I better carry you back,” Brendan said as he reached for her.

“WHAT!? I can walk on my own, thank you very much sir!” Rinoa quickly got to her feet, wincing.

“Suit yourself.” Brendan began to walk back to the Pokémon Center. Another fast mood change. Wow. Brendan changed overnight.

We walked quietly back to the Pokémon Center after that. Rinoa was doubtlessly brooding over a strategy. I didn’t. In fact, I had a proposal to make. But I had a lot to brood about. I kept my thoughts as locked up as possible. It wouldn’t do good for Rinoa to know what I was thinking.

She didn’t.

Some twenty minutes later, we were sitting back on the beds in the Pokémon Center. I was perfectly fine, but Rinoa was nursing her injury from jumping backwards into the wall. Since Rinoa had given me a death threat to be quiet after I had made my proposal to her, I sat silently, brooding about the five minutes twenty-something minutes ago. I wondered whether to tell her about what I had witnessed. Suddenly I opened my big, fat mouth.


“Hmm….?” She was busy gritting her teeth, rubbing ointment onto the bruise on her calf. Apparently there had been a blunt point jutting out of the wall, and when she jumped backwards, she’d bruised herself on it.

“I……” I stopped mid-sentence. If I told her, she’d definitely confront Brendan, and then I would be chow. I had seen his wrath, and I wasn’t going to get on the receiving end of it on purpose.

“What?” She looked directly at me now, her piercing red eyes boring into my eyes and through it out through the back of my skull. I got together a response quickly.

“If we win, you’re buying me ten boxes of Pokechow for me for each meal per week!”

“Okay okay…That’s the thousandth time you’ve said it!” she grumbled as she went back to nursing her injury. “And here I thought you had something important to say.” She mumbled, but my sensitive ears heard it.

“Say what?”


I left it at that.


I stepped up to the pretty crude fighting arena. The chalk was being redrawn by Gym Leader’s Pokémon on the hard ground. Crude was a good word. All there was were chalked boxes situated right outside the Pokémon Center. And of course, some barriers for protection. The insane ex-Lieutenant intended for the match to get messy. Not unexpected, since people of his kind walk their talk or try drastically to.

If a certain female had been there, she would have screamed my support, but she wasn’t allowed. Surge had instructed her to be incapacitated until the time came for her match.

The minutes were ticking. There was a sixty-minute time limit on the battle, and I knew it was redundant.

The clock struck eleven.

From the next sentence he uttered, I knew the Gym Leader had gone nuts.

“Electabuzz-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-zz!” The ex-lieutenant yelled, as if he had been electrocuted and had lived to tell the tale one time too many, “THUNDERPUNCH-UCH-UCH-UCH-UCH-UCH!!!”

“Elec!” The giant yellow creature flung itself at me, fist drawn, and a potentially lethal electric charge gathering in one fist.

A collective gasp from the crowd. This Electabuzz was ready to rumble at full power, and it looked so mature and so tough that a single attack would be lethal for most pokémon.

The keyword is most.

I threw a pokeball right in front of the raging Pokémon, and it redirected its punch to the spot where the Pokémon would appear.

It never came.

Another gasp.

My Diglett had gone far beyond the reach of the Electric Pokémon, and even if the attack hit, it would do nothing. Thunderpunches are famous for doing nothing when a Ground Pokémon takes a direct hit. The punch itself is so weak it does minimal damage, but the charge is amazingly strong and dishes out all the damage in the first place.

I never would have predicted that with Lieutenant, it would be a whole new punch game, if you would pardon the pun. Actually it isn’t a pun. It’s just…..something.

Actually if you think about it, insane ex-Lieutenants being insane ex-Lieutenants, I would have seen it coming.

The fist hit the ground.


There was an explosion that rocked the whole ground. Dust sprayed around, hurting everyone’s eyes, and when the smoke cleared, the Electabuzz stood drumming its fists against its chest.

In the middle of a giant crater.

Another collective gasp. But before you go on about how many more there are, I would like to remind you that the Electabuzz hadn’t been unleashed on another Pokémon for years. The Pokémon Association probably banned Surge from ever using it in a Gym Battle.

It was his ultimate Pokémon.

But I could outsmart it.

“Dig!” A small timid hole appeared behind Electabuzz. Digger was scared, and she was showing it.

“EARTHQUAKE!” Like a gorilla titan leashed out of hell, the Electabuzz jumped up and down angrily, shaking the ground heavily. The barriers rattled and fell over, and the people fell like domino blocks. Including me.

“DIGG!” Digger screeched as pain hit her. She was thrown far underground, as the ground cracked.

Lieutenant decided to wait a few minutes before continuing his assault. No sound could be heard after the barriers were rearranged, and the people stood expectant of the game ender.

The worst part was, Digger’s soft wails could be heard above the deafening silence.

“SHUT UP, DIGGER!” I didn’t need the dear Lieutenant to catch on and deliver a final blow.

“Too late.” Surge smirked, and I knew it was the end. “FISSURE!”

“Oh no.” My hands fell limp to my sides, where they had been tightly gripping each other behind my back.

Then Digger shot out of the ground right between the Electabuzz’s legs…

Burying herself in the Electabuzz’s anus and clawing rapidly.

A quick rule: No matter how tough a Pokémon may be on the outside, its internal organs are probably so weak they’re fair game and asking for an instantaneous knockout.

It came to pass.

Electabuzz toppled backwards, ruined after the unorthodox Dig/Slash combination attack.

“Dugtrio!” Another two Digletts appeared and rejoined Digger.

Three Digletts?

Then I understood.



“Ow…” I rubbed my wrists and my ankles together as well as my mouth and eyes and ears. How I managed to accomplish all that, I didn’t know. “Stupid b*stards!”

I had every right to be angry. They were supposed to incapacitate me, not bind me so tight like I was being kidnapped and I wasn’t supposed to escape. The blindfold was so dirty it hurt my eyes, the tape on my mouth so sticky it hurt like sh*t when they took it off, and my limbs bound so tight together even if there were broken bottle pieces on the ground I wouldn’t be able to cut myself free even if I wanted to.

I stood in a chalked box. Uneven ground marked where a crater had been, and various holes were left in the ground where Brendan’s Diglett had made her appearance. Brendan was currently being challenged a few hundred times over and with everyone watching, so Lieutenant and I were left to our devices. With the barriers intact still though.

Until we tossed the Pokeballs.

Surge had warned me this one was much meaner than the one Brendan fought, so it was going to be much harder.

A lot harder. By about two times.

“Electabuzz-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-zz! THUNDERPUNCH-UCH-UCH-UCH-UCH-UCH!!!”

“DIE!” A yellow giant charged towards me.

“Felix Figga Fezirix, Quick Attack!” I ordered.

“WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET ME A FULL NAME!!!” Felix screamed to be heard over the cry of the Electabuzz as he charged into battle a yellow blur too fast to follow.

Mind-reading told me Felix was gonna hand his yellow playmate a shot in the behind. And the speed added the three and the four to the one-two punch.


“F*CK YOU!!!” The Electabuzz cussed too loudly as he did a technical roll to recover from the attack and went after a super-fast yellow blur again.

“QUICK THUNDERPUNCH!” Lieutenant barked his laugh into the air as Electabuzz accelerated.

“YERSH! I WEEEEEN!” Electabuzz gained on Felix.

“Nope.” Felix defiantly said and telepathically told me as he zoomed under Electabuzz’s feet and came back with a Headbutt in the rear, throwing the poor Electabuzz into his trainer.

“Where was I again?” Felix’s brain had been addled by the bony contact by his skull with the Electabuzz’s pelvis.

“THUNDERPUNCH!!!” A very angry Electabuzz charged for a brain-damaged Pikachu.

“F*CK YOU B*TCH!!!” Electabuzz threw a right straight into the ground where Felix stood.


The bone of Electabuzz’s fist smashed into another bone, and after a few seconds, I found myself flat on my back, with Felix on my chest.

“FELIX!” I picked up the yellow being as I got to my feet.


“Can you fight?”


“Say something other than Ouch.”




“Oh dammitall!” I slapped Felix across the face, losing my patience.

“It hurts, okay? I wanna buy a new skull.” Felix grimaced.

“Can you fight?” I asked him again.

“Yes, if only to save my dignity.” I placed him on the ground as the Electabuzz finished drumming its chest and gave a mighty roar.

“Great, now he’s become angrier. I swear he’s like a mad bull.” Felix whipped out a red cloth. “Fortunately, humans have invented a way to defeat mad bulls.”

“Aren’t you making it angrier with a red cloth?” I asked.

“Yes, but the angrier you get, the more sense you lose. And it’s not so much the colour as….something. I forgot. Anyway bulls are colour-blind, so it’s definitely not the colour.” Felix waved the cloth matador-style. “C’mon baby, hit me one more time!”

“YOU AIN’T DEAD! WELL, YOU WILL BE! CHARGE!!!!” Electabuzz roared as Surge ordered another Thunderpunch. Sunny side up.

Electabuzz charged…

At the cloth.

Felix flipped it to the other side as the poor Electabuzz lost his target and rolled head over heels, crashing into the barrier and lying there, stunned.

“OLÉ!” The crowd roared appropriately, and I jumped, just realizing that they were there.

“Lalala.” Felix whistled nonchalantly, waving the cloth in an annoying way that made you want to punch him. Actually the cloth was more annoying, but whatever.

“DAMN YOU!!!! EKREHL CHARGE!!!!!” True to Felix’s word, Electabuzz had lost his all common-sense.

And thus this continued ten times over, with all ten successes echoed by an “OLÉ!” from the crowd.

“Ouch….Damn….Fugg….” Electabuzz climbed painfully from the ground for the tenth time. Somehow, he lost all his strength just then, and flopped back down.

“NOW!” I yelled.

“This bull’s going down!” Felix dropped his matador cloth and went in for a bloody melee that consisted of a one-two punch, with the three and the four added to it in the electricity gathering in his fists.

Both fists connected painfully with the cranium, tearing the skin apart, and Electabuzz fell.

“FELIX!” I screamed.

With his fainting breath, Electabuzz dealt a counterblow to Felix’s cranium, and Felix too fell to the ground with a loud crack.

The crowd began to chant to ten.



I buried my face in my gloved hands.

“FIVE…” Three seconds had flown. What had happened? I peeked up and watched both Pokémon get to their feet.

“EIGHT…” Another three seconds passed by as they stood on one knee.

“NINE…” They were on their feet now…


Both collapsed.

And Felix earned himself a tie to his pretty much untainted record.


“You okay?” I asked Rinoa as she sat at the edge of her bed, her wet hair hanging from her head, her red eyes staring emotionless at the floor.

“Yeah.” Her voice answered emotionlessly.

“Pikaaaarrrgh.” Felix gargled and began to foam at the mouth again like a psycho. He was on a bed, and for the sake of his sanity, we chained him so that he wouldn’t be harmful to himself. We would have put him in a Pokeball but that would definitely make him a shoo-in for the asylum.

We were at the Pokémon Center, after Felix had been diagnosed with a cracked skull. They sealed his skull together with cranium super-glue or something of the sort, and tomorrow he’d be up as usual, and running on extra crack. For now, he was experiencing the side-effects of the drug.

“Listen, it’s not your fault you know. No one would have seen it coming. Like when my Pokémon dug her way into Electabuzz’s anus.”

“Lucky you,” Rinoa replied bitterly, still not looking up. She wore a blue blouse and green shorts that I had dug out of her bag for her. Truth was, she was sick with worry. She couldn’t sleep. All she did was stare at the ground.

I slapped my forehead. “Everyone loses at least once. It’s not like you’ll win every single time.”

She looked up into my eyes, and her hate in her red eyes was so strong like the blast of heat you get when you mix caesium with water that I took a step back surprised. (Caesium and water is a potentially lethal mixture, so fearing that it would have the same results, I backed off. Well, in retrospect.)

“SHUT UP! YOU’VE NEVER LOST BEFORE, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!?” Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes, and she was now on her feet, her fist curled. Then she stormed out of the room, sobbing. I looked after her.

“Girls.” I muttered as I went back to cleaning the foam off Felix. Dammit, the Pikachu looked like he was going through drug withdrawal symptoms. Well, if I didn’t know better, I would have suggested the drug was an overload of artificial adrenalin. Of course there was no basis for that statement, but he was so energetic most of the time, I sometimes wondered whether he did take artificial adrenalin. Anyway, it’s easily available nowadays. The word is chocolate. Okay, chocolate is the most primitive form, but you get my point.

Sighing, I walked out of the room to find my female companion, hoping that she had cooled down sufficiently when I did.


I sat up and looked around. Of course I was faking all the mouth-foaming and crap. Rule number 133 of the Art of Sneaking dictates that to fool your enemies, first fool your friends. And thus I was practicing my skills on that.

Jabbing the button on every single Pokéball, I stood at attention as all the Pokémon of the two trainers appeared.

‘Room.’ Felix said as all the Pokémon appeared in front of him, in various shapes and sizes, standing as well as they could at attention.

‘You.’ I pointed at Brendan’s Nidorino, William. ‘Report. And you too.’ Felix pointed at Chick.

William marched up as well as he could on four legs. ‘Brendan’s squad reporting, sir. Strength: 3, Present: 3, 2 boys, 1 girl. Permission to carry on sir?’

‘Carry on.’ Yay. I loved certain procedures. William made a feeble attempt to salute me before heading back to his cozy spot under a bed.

Chick walked up to me. “Um……’

‘Count me in,’ I said.

‘Right. Um…… Strength: 4……Present: 4……1 boy...3 girls……Permission to carry on sir.’

‘Carry on.’ She stepped back and leapt onto a bed where the rest were huddled, while I sat down and pulled a sheaf of papers out of nowhere.

‘Weekly General Meeting #1.’ I flicked through the papers. ‘First issue. Should we get a higher budget of food, what would you want: Quality or Quantity? Those who want Quality say ‘aye’ and raise your hands.’

A loud chorus and all hands raised.

‘Okay. Next…..’ I leafed through the papers today. ‘Regarding our trainers.’

The response was varied. Mandy, Speary and Kipper squealed in delight, while Chick, William and Digger sat in a corner, pretending to puke.

‘………Did I mention ANYTHING about hooking them together?” I said exasperatedly. Everyone stopped moving.

‘Good. Now……We all know that Rinoa is sad now. Are we all on?’ Nodding from everyone.

Here came the clincher. ‘Any bets on whether Brendan’ll do something romantic with her?’

Within a minute, the matter had been settled, with all six of them betting a meal on Yes.

‘And then another thing. This is inside inside inside information from a reliable source. Okay, you people might have seen the source. Brendan Birch is insanely dangerous. He knocked out four people and…….er…….destroyed their manhood. Try not to get him angry, ja?’

The congregation sat in shock as I proceeded to the next topic.

‘Next….’ More leafing through papers. ‘General Discussion. Make your complaints, start a new topic……Oh whatever. Just talk.’

‘Stop Mandy from calling me a ****.’ Chick ruffled her feathers and pouted.

‘WHAT!? Hey, you called me all beauty and no brains, ****!’ the Charmeleon in question jumped up and pointed a finger at the Torchic.

‘I rest my case, Felix.’ Chick glared menacingly at the more powerful Fire Pokémon.

‘The way I see it, Mandy, the day you stepped into my community, you started insulting, flaming, harassing, and humiliating Chick. If I hear another word insulting Chick from your mouth, I will ensure a slow, painful punishment, and ban you from future meetings, as well as having everyone else ignore you. That agreed?’

‘Yes.’ She mumbled angrily.


Nothing came.

‘So I can say something! Yay! All right chuckles!’ I jabbed a finger at William. ‘I want compensation for that match we had back in Pewter. How about one bowl of Pokéchow? All in favour?’


‘Okay okay,’ William sulked. ‘Just because I beat you….’

‘Yeah yeah whatever. Anything else?’

‘I swear the ground’s damn rough out here.’ Digger complained. ‘I can’t battle properly you know. The soil tastes like crap. All the food here is probably sucky, so try not to eat too much.’

‘Thanks for the advice. Anything else?’

‘Um……Everyone prepare to get a new aqueous teammate.’ Speary shrugged. ‘I hear lots of people like to get their first Water Pokémon here, unless they started with one.’

‘Good point.’ I raised an eyebrow. ‘Do we have something else?

‘The water here is real salty, so none of you land Pokémon should touch it. It makes you feel even more thirsty after you drink it, so be careful of what you drink.’ Kipper waggled a finger as well as he could, which was not very well, seeing that he was four-legged.

“Right. Nothing else?’

No response.

‘End of Weekly General Meeting #1. Sedia![Attention!]’

Everyone snapped to it.


Everyone turned ninety degrees to the right, saluted, walked three steps and stomped on the ground once.

‘That went pretty well people.’ I smiled. ‘To bed!’

The congregation agreed, except for a certain red chick.

“Whaddya want?” I yawned hugely at my partner-in-crime. Sort of.

Chick scratched the ground nervously with her foot, not daring to look me in the eyes. “Well…..I was thinking….you know….maybe we should go look for them. You know…..I’m….worried.” She admitted.

Ah. Confession. Took her long enough. Now for theatrics.

“That’s horrible! How could you do such a thing!?” I told her, horrified. Her eyes widened.

Dramatic pause.

“But I like it.”

I love theatrics.


It was raining.

I sat with my knees drawn to my chin, my arms resting on top, while the rain came down and battered my body, wet my hair, soaked my clothes through. It also left me with a bad cold, and I sneezed violently between sobs.

Useless. So useless.

I stared into my arms, my body shaking with anger, sadness and the cold.

I was so useless.

The whole time, I had been a complete idiot, standing there while Felix attacked completely on his own.

And me, his trainer, not helping him. I had waited till it was too late before I intervened……

Why? Why was I so useless? A bloody fool. One that needed protection.

Protection that I didn’t want.

Stupid, useless, idiot.

Why did I even begin this journey, when I was such a fool?

I was about to answer myself when I heard something.


“Go away!” Guilt shook me as I went back to crying.

The sound didn’t stop. Whoever it was, he wasn’t listening.

Soon, feet appeared next to me, and the sound stopped. I could somehow hear the person’s breath above the sound of the rain, and I realized that the person was sitting next to me.

“It’s not good to stay out here.” A familiar voice said and my heart leapt.

“Serge?” I lifted my head to face the person.

There he was, his spiky blond hair swaying in the wind, his blue eyes boing right into mine, and I felt transparent.

“You’ve been crying.” He placed a hand on my cheek, and I could feel the warmth radiating from it. I felt heat gather in my face and backed away, going back to sulking.

“What’re you doing here?” I mumbled.

“Staying the night to rest after getting this.” He dug into one of his many pockets, pulling out a familiar, shiny yellow shape.

“Oh.” I faced the ground again as my face grew hotter. I hadn’t even been around to watch him get it. He’d probably watched me pull off a stupid draw with my ace in the hole. Dammit.

“My turn for a question. Why are you crying?” He said as he moved to my side, touching my cheek again. Immediately after that he swiped at my nose suddenly and flicked off whatever was on his hand. “Booger,” he explained as he wiped his hands on his pants. “So?”

I stayed silent.

“Must be that draw eh?”


“Guilty as charged,” I heard myself say heavily.

“You know, everyone loses and draws. It’s like making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s just whether you learn from them, and not commit them again,” he said gently.

“I know.” My eyes began to well up with tears again. “ But I just keep making the same mistakes over and over again, and I never learn.” I felt anger well up in me at myself. Stupid, useless idiot, my brain echoed over and over again.

“But there’s plenty of time to learn.” He flicked a lock of hair out of his eyes. “There’s still a long way to go.”


My reply shocked him.

“What do you mean, no? Are you going to give up now, with three badges, and only a single loss and a draw to your record? Why, other people have lost much more times than you, and they’re still fighting. Are you so weak?”

His last sentence echoed in my brain over and over again.

Then I snapped.


I got to my feet, tears streaming down my cheeks, my eyes glaring at his blue ones. My body shook with anger, and I controlled myself enough to take a deep breath.




My eyes were wide with shock as Serge got up and took hold of me, placing a hand over my mouth.

“You’ll wake up the whole neighbourhood at this rate,” he said simply.

I glared at him.

“You’re wrong too. Not everyone despises you. There’s me.” He smiled. “There’s the Gym Leaders too. They keep saying you’re one of the best trainers that have battled them so far. Even that crackpot Surge; he wouldn’t have used his banned-from-Gym-Battles Electabuzz against you if he didn’t think you were up to the challenge.”

At least I got one assumption right today.

“Most of the people in Kanto know you as a very tough trainer……Do you remember every single trainer you beat?”

“No,” I admitted.

“They keep ranting about an influx of powerful trainers…..To quote them, ‘First this guy, then this girl, and now YOU!’ Note that you’re included.”

“How do you know so much?” I asked, curious.

“Part of following in your wake.” He shrugged. “I’m slow, I know.”


“I don’t know what you’ve gone through before……But whatever it was, it must have hurt you deeply.”

Something happened to me just then. I just broke down in Serge’s arms and cried. I sobbed into his shirt, my arms around his neck, my face feeling the heat from his body.

I just stood there and cried while he gently patted my head……

:::Chick::: (Now this is a first)

“Felix…..Can’t we get out of the rain?” I complained. Being a fire chick, I hated the rain. Plus it was hard to dry off completely after this. Another reason why I hated baths without a towel.

We had been only outside of shelter for about 5 minutes, and already I was drenched so much that I was beginning to feel cold internally.

“Shh! Look across!” He had his self-invented auto-focus binoculars(whatever that was) shoved into his face, and so did I. Well, I didn’t have any hands, so it had to be strapped on.

I did, and my eyes widened with shock.

“Oh my god.”

“I would prefer you add a f*cking there, but that’s beside the point for now.”

We watched from a neighbouring rooftop as Serge emerged onto the rooftop and sat beside Rinoa. We stared as the drama unfolded in front of us, ending with Rinoa sobbing into Serge’s shirt. I began to despair. Stupid Brendan still hadn’t made his way up, and it looked like it was going to be too late.

Suddenly headphones were clapped over where my ears would have been if I were human, and I could hear what was being said on the roof. Not much other than Rinoa sobbing.

We stood there, watching Rinoa sob continuously, then the both sat down, and the same thing continued until our trainer had cried herself to sleep.

It was at this time the door to the rooftop opened gently, and Brendan walked out calmly towards the duo. I was shocked. He had been behind the door all along……But he didn’t dare barge in. I began to wonder. Had Serge appeared on purpose, or was it really coincidental?

“Is she asleep?” I heard Brendan say.

“Obviously. I knew you were hiding behind the door all the time, you coward.”

“……You were already there, and she was kinda getting along well with you. If I appeared, she’d probably beat me half-dead and then throw me off the building.” He sighed deeply.

“As I said, you’re a bloody coward.” Serge got up, laying Rinoa gently on the floor. ‘I’m leaving her to you now.” He began to walk back towards the entrance to the roof.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to carry her or something?” I heard Brendan say.

“That’s your department.” He turned around to flash Brendan an evil smirk. “Cleanup and backup. Behind-the-scenes. Suits your cowardice anyhow.” He turned back. ‘I’m leaving. I’ve got a lot to do.”

I watched Brendan stare resignedly at Serge’s retreating back. I could see his frustration, but he couldn’t do anything to improve the situation.

Then he carried Rinoa in his arms, and walked back into the building.

I felt the headphones and the binoculars being removed for me as Felix lassoed an air-conditioning unit on the other side with a piece of tough rope. He then withdrew me into the pokeball we had brought out and tossed it over to the other side. Then I watched from the safety of the ball as he swung across and failed, and then climbed the rope back up, then kept the rope before releasing me.

A thousand thoughts ran in our minds as we headed back to the room. I wondered what Felix’s were, wondered about so many other things.

When we had returned to the room, we both got into a bed (Our size was considerably small, and most of the others were huddled together on the same bed) and lay there.

We watched Brendan dry our trainer with a towel, then left her on the lower deck to sleep. The lights went out soon after that, and we lay there, thinking about thinking about thinking. Must have been telepathy.

After some time, Felix remarked, “I still can’t figure out who won, Chick.”

I replied, “Let’s not think about it too much.”

He mumbled, “They’ll pester me tomorrow for their Pokéchow, as you very well know. How am I gonna tell them it’s yes and no?”

I rolled my eyes. “You could just use your own f*cked up logic and tell them since positive plus negative equal neutral, there is no winner and no exchange of Pokéchow.”

“Good point. I should really get back to being myself.” He slapped his forehead. “Stupid Electabuzz must have messed up my cranium. It’ll probably be better tomorrow.”

“It had better,” I said as I shifted on the bed, meeting Mandy’s face and trying to keep myself from freaking out at her freakish sleep muttering.

“By the way, I was faking that cranium super glue’s side-effects. It didn’t have any effect on me at all, but hell, if I faked it, they’d leave me alone.”

“Right……” My eyelids were drooping, and my brain was beginning to doze.

“Hey, are you listening at all?” He poked me.

“Yes. And those General Meetings suck. We should cancel them.”

Before I could hear Felix’s noisy outbreak, I had already fallen into dreamland, full of Felix running after me, ranting and poking me with an electrified metal rod, and me freaking out from his ranting and his poking, and watching Mandy drool over some fugly b*stard.


As expected, the next morning Felix was up and running on crack. Actually crack would be an understatement. Extra-crack fit it.


Actually it wasn’t entirely his fault. Every single one of our Pokémon were chasing him around the canteen and out of it. He was merely running helter-skelter for his life. Chick had the same fate as him, but she was marginally slower than him.


The entourage made into the canteen, its yellow leader not bothering to look where he was headed, and ran headlong into a Chansey with considerable force.

The pink giant turned around, visibly angry. The rest of the Pokémon, except Chick, backed away until they were ten feet away from the Pokémon Center assistant. Chick merely went right up, flashed the sweetest smile she could muster, mumbled something, and quickly pecked Felix and took one step back.

Chansey wasn’t pleased at all.

I tried to ignore the Egg Bombs flying around and the screams of both our Pokémon and the other patrons as I turned back to look at Rinoa, who was blankly staring at her plate and not eating anything.

“Hey, Rinoa……” I ventured cautiously, fearing that she might get angry again.

“Yeah?” She looked at me blankly.

“Try and eat something. We’re gonna walk a long way later.”

“I’m stuffed.” She rubbed her stomach.

“How is that possible? You haven’t even eaten.”

“While you were looking at their idiotic chase, you jack***, I already ate ten pieces of bread and too much egg and bacon for my own good.” She frowned.

“Whoa.” My brain decided to jam just then.

“Whoa all you like, but I’ll have to figure out how to burn off all that sh*t I ate before I get fat.”

“……Right……” I was unable to think of a better response when a large black shadow dramatically covered us, and we looked at the person standing at our table.

“Can you please take care of these troublemakers?” She pointed at the floor, where all our Pokémon were currently nursing their injuries. “And you have a lot of paperwork to do.” An evil glint appeared in her eye.

Felix sat on top of Rinoa’s bandanna as we walked down Route 11. The sun had gone a long way over the sky, and currently it was inching ever so slowly over the horizon to light another area. And don’t ask why we spent so long back in the Pokémon Centre. We had to sign so many papers our heads felt like exploding, and we were forced to pay lots of money (such that we were left with a quarter of what we had, which was quite a sum), and finally, when everything had been settled, we had to stuff ourselves with dinner before we went crazy with hunger. Now back to walking.

We passed Diglett’s Cave (which I had already explored) and we entered a small plains with small roads turning off here and there.

“Weird,” Rinoa commented.

“Damn straight,” Felix and I echoed.

We wandered around. The place was quiet as death, and I had a great foreboding. Twice Rinoa tripped over a rock, tossing Felix to the ground, but he kept getting up and onto her head, muttering.

It took some time for me to realize what was wrong.

There was nothing around. Not even a single wild Pokémon. Even when we walked noisily in the tall grass, no Pokémon assailed us. This was getting weirder and weirder.

One more thing, we were lost.

It was supposed to be a straightforward path towards the exit, but we had been walking for very long, with the end nowhere in sight.

Suddenly we were in a mist, but we pressed on. Sensing Rinoa’s great fear, I slipped my hand into hers, and she clutched it tightly. Goosebumps were beginning to rise up on my skin too, and Felix shivered audibly.

We soon saw a figure in the mist, and as we approached it, it soon turned out to be a boy our age, wearing something similar to a monk’s outfit, and holding a shiny golden rod in one hand. At this point, we were merely metres apart.

“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting.” He greeted us, even though we didn’t even know who it was.

I didn’t know why I did what I did next. Perhaps it was loss of control. Or maybe because I was checking to see if he was real. Or maybe it was to quell my own fears.

I pulled my hand out of Rinoa’s grip and charged towards him, launching a kick to his head when in range.

He merely held out his rod, and as the top part of my foot came into contact with the rod, I heard a loud crack, felt a sharp pain, cried out, and collapsed in a heap.

“Stupid.” He insulted me with one word.

“Brendan!” Rinoa was kneeling at my side now. “Are you alright?”

Felix was hanging on to the top of her bandanna and holding up a signboard at the same time. I looked up, my teeth gritted in pain. “Where does it hurt-”

Before I could finish reading the words, he was swiped off Rinoa’s head. She winced as her bandanna came off along with Felix and a bunch of hairs, leaving her back of her head exposed.

“What’s that for you b*stard!?” She yelled at the boy. Then her brain caught onto something I was already speculating from my injury. “Are you our enemy?”

“No.” He closed his eyes. “I’m only interested in the dirty slimeball inside that Pikachu.”

We stared, me included, in spite of my pain.

“What do you mean?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Ask it.”

“It? Hey, Felix is a he, you jack***!” Rinoa yelled, but it went unnoticed by the boy.

Then all eyes swiveled to look at Felix.

“How do you have such power?” the boy asked simply.

Felix was missing his signboard, so he merely pointed to himself, and shrugged.

“What about your language abilities?”

Same response.

“This proves it,” he smirked.

“Proves what!? You’ve proven nothing!” I yelled at him.

“He is a vessel for the devil.”

There was a deafening silence. Then Rinoa started laughing uncontrollably.

“Devil!? Ha, you believe in this sh*t!? Let me tell you.” She stood up. “This is reality, not some crackpot-”

The boy smashed her in the side of the head with the rod, and she went sprawling.

“Rinoa!” I crawled over to the girl, careful not to touch the ground with my injured foot.

“THAT’S IT, YOU SON-OF-A-B*TCH!” Felix was charging electricity for a potentially fatal blow.

“Humph. Let’s see how your powers match against my blessed ones.” He was beginning to get on my nerves, the crazy fanatic. No way a Pikachu could be anything evil. Or could it?

He summoned a large bolt of lightning from the skies, but the boy merely squatted down, and left the rod alone, standing. I began to see where this was heading.

“Felix, he’s using that rod as a lightning rod!” I yelled to him.

The bolt hit the rod, and sure enough, the boy was unharmed (He wasn’t holding on to it, anyway). All the laws of physics had been obeyed.

I reached Rinoa’s side, and shook her.

“Ugh……” She turned to face me, her eyes blurred. It seemed that she was trying to focus on my face, but she kept losing it.

“Hang in there,” I encouraged her.

“Gastly, Mean Look!” I heard the boy say.

Rinoa pushed herself upright, and looked at the scene unfolding in front of her. She shook her head, probably trying to dislodge her blurred vision. Her black ponytail swung about as she did so, and I tried to stop looking at her at all, and turned back to the battle.

Felix was currently using every electric trick in his book to beat the boy, but he was failing horribly. Nothing was happening. In fact, all the boy and his Gastly did was stand there and do nothing while the rod conducted all the electricity.

“You may leave. I only require the Pikachu.” The boy said.

“Who are you…?” Rinoa said, with difficulty.

“My name is Peter. Just Peter.”


I couldn’t focus on anything. The blow to my head hurt like hell, and my brain refused to function properly after that shock.

“Rinoa, leave with Brendan! I can handle stuff on my own! Catch up with you later!” I heard Felix say.

“Rinoa? Are you going to leave this to him?” I heard Brendan say.

I looked straight into his eyes, and suddenly my brain began functioning properly. With absolute certainty, I nodded. “Besides, we need to get your foot checked,” I said calmly. “Don’t worry, Felix’ll probably do better without us around.”

It was true. Thunderclouds were gathering, and the only thing that stopped Felix from letting all the electricity in the air go ignored was because of us.

“Guess you’re right.” He shrugged. I could see the worry in his eyes.

“Let’s go.” We both got to our feet, and I put one of his arms over my shoulder, supporting him. I gave Felix a thumbs up, and we left.

We limped out of the mist painfully, saying nothing. I could feel that Brendan was in pain, but said nothing. After all, it might make things worse.

When we finally emerged out of the mist, we had nearly reached the end of the route, the guardhouse , barely visible in the dying light, indicating so.

After some walking, we entered the guard house.

It was deadly quiet. The path was blocked by a barrier. The place wasn’t disused, yet there was no one around.

My intuition told me the whole thing was a trap. By then it was already too late.

The door slammed behind us, and the lock clicked.

The barrier suddenly split cleanly into three, and hit the floor with an ominous clang.

We stared at it.

Then a metal body with four metal wings floated down from the ceiling, hovering effortlessly at the other side of the barrier.

An admantium Crobat.

He coolly said, “Don’t you know how to knock, you barbaric humans?”

We stared at each other now.

“Crobat Shiltz, at your service. I am one of the Maniac B*stard’s Numbers. Your fate lies as diced meat. Prepare for your end.”


”If you would go up high, then use your own legs!”


Just something to add. Peter isn't a bad guy. For just this appearance, he represents Felix haters. Okay, not in that religious sense. ANd don't take offense at that religion thingy. His family is extremist when it comes to such things. Like those crazy terrorists that claim that Islam asks them to go bomb stuff and do so. Obviously they are the only ones who deserve to be kicked, not the whole community. Graagh. If you're not convinced, my Inbox is open for argument.

Aqua Umbreon 198
21st April 2006, 8:32 PM
Exelent fanfic. You deserve teal's fanfic award.(if she gives you one you're lucky) besides, I like violence, humor, and randomocity.

Felix Feral Fezirix
22nd April 2006, 3:34 AM
Heh. Thank you! I thought this fic was just about dead. >_< But never mind.

Hmm.....-looks up Teal with informers and user search-

Graagh. I need to play my Leaf Green to research Chapter 17!

Enjoy yourself, Aqua_Umbreon!

Aqua Umbreon 198
22nd April 2006, 9:39 PM
oh really! it just so happens that i have beaten that game already, perhaps i could help? Hahaha! Oh, I have a pic of Teal in my very cramped up sig. I managed to fit her! I'm also working on it. I have Umbreons up for adoption if you want one for the fic.
Edit:That pic is no longer in my sig.7-4-06

Felix Feral Fezirix
23rd April 2006, 2:45 PM
Nah. No Umbreons are going to appear for a long time.

ANd I rather do my own research, thanks. Much easier. And I'm more visual-spatial. So sue me.

Back to analysing the Vermillion Guardhouse. -turns on GBA-

Felix Feral Fezirix
2nd June 2006, 10:10 AM

Meh. Stupidity. Sorry for taking so long, but hell, I needed to get out all the details. Of course, the first part’s total crap, but never mind.

Chapter 17


I quickly took out my swords and charged at the crazy ******* standing before me.

Before I knew it, a Gengar appeared.


There was no time to dodge. Pain wracked by body, and soon, I ended up a sorry lump on the ground.

“DIE!” He raised a sword above me and stabbed down.


Nah. That’s an ode to Felix haters. Now to the real thing.

Note: Felix draws his swords straight out of his nowhere. So there. No need to take out the sheath.

Chapter 17
-Crobat Schiltz-


Rinoa and Brendan were long gone. They were probably heading to Lavender to get Brendan’s injury treated. Judging by the sound made when the rod made contact, it was probably a dislocated ankle. I didn’t really care. Right now, all that mattered was to take down this scumbag.

He is a demon!

Did he find out about my past?

He must be destroyed!

Such familiar words……

A raging thirst erupted within me. It was not any other thirst.

A thirst for blood.

The many times I ripped the hearts out of my brethren with my own, bare hands……..

A demon awoke inside me, urging me to murder again.


It was too late.

I drew my swords. I just had their edges lined with adamantium.

Hard, sharp, adamantium.

Ordinarily, the sword would have had a nice cool feeling in my hand.

Today, it was a mere extension of my arm.

A weapon to kill.

I charged forth, letting out a horrendous battle cry, the swords primed for the kill.

The boy took the rod in his hands, and used it to block my attack.

I was ready.

I was gripping the swords as one would grip a dagger for a stab. With precision I had no idea I possessed, I sliced the rod clean into three with a double upward slash, narrowly missing the boy’s head. His eyes widened in surprise.

Well, they would be frozen there forever in the next few seconds.

Dexterously flipping the swords, I now held them in the traditional way.

Right-side up.

I slashed downwards.

In an instant, the move became familiar.

The move I used to dispatch Deathtantz Scyther.

Well, the same trick was going to work twice this time.

‘Shadow Ball!”

A mass of black slammed into me, throwing me sideways before the swords could make contact.

Crashing into the ground, I cursed and got up slowly. The blow had left me winded, and alerted me to the fact that I should have paid attention to the Gastly. It maintained its glare on me.

I spat blood out of my mouth. His same trick wasn’t going to work twice.

What to do next?


Things were going rather well currently, seeing as we weren’t dead yet. Our earlier survival rating of 0.00000001% had just increased to 5%. Fantastic. A promising start.

We were hiding right behind the guard’s gigantic desk, listening to Schlitz let off a bloodcurdling screech as he swept back into the ground floor, creating another hole in the wall and tore through the desk on the other side of the room. Well, I assumed so from the way it sounded. And it didn’t sound good. I shivered suddenly, goosebumps rising on my skin. If he did that to our desk, we would be kiddie kebab.

We had to think, fast. Faster than that Crobat, at any rate.

Schlitz was incredibly dumb. He had swept out of the building at once after crashing the barricade, and we had crept behind the desk on our left. There wasn’t anywhere else to hide, so we had to make do with what we had. I believe they call it improvisation. He did a few passes before tearing through the desks. So much for intelligence.

So there we were, me biting my lip, and Brendan gnawing on a fingernail as we brainstormed an idea to get out of this mess.

We heard another desk begin tearing apart, and we knew thinking time was up.

“Rinoa, gimme a shove.” Brendan attempted to get over the desk, but failed horribly due to his injured foot. He said it was “disorientated” or something like that, but I didn’t really care. Currently, he was stuck with his stomach on the desk and Schiltz approaching fast.

I shoved him over, went over myself, and scampered to the other side as he tore through where we were. If we were still there, we would have been dead. I became suddenly aware that we had only made it just in time.

“I SEE YOU!!!” He thundered, shooting out of the building and giving a cackling laugh that made me want to scream.

“Quick, up here!” Brendan attempted to drag me towards the staircase, the only other thing left standing in the room. I took the cue and we hobbled along, like contestants in a three-legged race.

We got far enough on the staircase to be unseen when Schiltz shot through the ground floor and out again, laughing maniacally. Like creator, like creation, as……uh……someone said.

We crawled up the staircase painfully. This was becoming a nightmare, except it wasn’t. We had no idea what to do next. Perhaps we would find answers upstairs.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Brendan, and looked at his face, stretched in pain.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“My. Foot,” he said as if in excruciating pain. I looked down, mentally kicked myself, and began dragging him painfully upstairs instead. Actually, it was only a few more steps, so it didn’t matter much. Well, at least I stopped standing on his…..what? Disjointed-or-something foot. [AUTHOR: We all know it’s friggin’ dislocated, but the poor heroine shall stay in the dark.]

We had only reached the top, when I realized something that hadn’t occurred to me on the way up.

I could hear Schiltz coming back to rip through the building again. There was no time to do anything regular. Only something drastic.

Of course, I had to be the sacrifice.

I let go.

Brendan toppled down the staircase as the freak of nature tore through the wall, and my eyes widened involuntarily.

Before my body could turn to face the same direction as my head, I felt his fangs sink into my back, felt the hot, gooey, purple fluid flow into my veins just as the metallic anomalies withdrew from my back.

And I screamed.

A single, high-pitched, shrill scream.


I stood opposite the Gastly, which had been deflecting all my attacks so far. Whatever I threw at it, it just took the damage and went on. I had no idea how it managed to keep it up, always staying there, ethereal, glaring and smirking at me.

Inviting me to attack.

I knew if I tried to run through it to get to that boy, he would blast sleeping gas on me the minute I went through, so no go with direct attacks.

Of course, there was also the unorthodox course of action.

I ran up to the Gastly, and its mouth broke into a wan grin, faint beginnings of sleeping gas appearing at the rim of its gas cloud. I ignored that, took a leap forward, and bit down on the ethereal core.

The attack had its desired effect. The Gastly gasped as the attack ripped its life force apart. Floundering around, it eventually fell to the ground, and remained there.

The boy remained silent, returning the Gastly to its Pokeball.

Just then, the storm hanging over our heads broke in, and he released a Wobbuffet.

This guy. Now he required some quick thinking. Time to try an attack.

I shot forward, faking a Quick Attack. The telltale red aura began to glow around it, and I quickly switched from Quick Attack to good old ThunderPunch.

The attack crashed into Wobbuffet full-force, but there was something wrong.

The aura intensified, then shot back a powerful electric attack that threw me high into the air.

A Mirror Coat. But I didn’t see it change auras. Either that thing was impossibly fast, or it predicted me.

I took the second assumption and maneuvered myself into a dive towards it, electricity charging in my cheeks.

Dilemma? You betcha.

I watched it stall.

“Mirrorter!” My enemy ordered.

Did I hear that right?

I went through with Quick Attack and Thunderbolt at the same time, impacting heavily with the Wobbuffet, causing it a lot of electrical damage at the same time.

When the dust cleared, Wobbuffet was still standing.

But that wasn’t the most important part.

He held a big, nasty ball of electric energy in his hand, and he was radiating power.


“Say good night.” The Wobbuffet smirked evilly. So evilly to the point that I actually felt goosebumps rise on my skin.

“ARGH!” The Wobbuffet rammed full on into me, at the same time releasing his evil electric ball.

I collapsed heavily on the ground, taking the damage.

“RAWR!!!” I screamed, getting to my feet, the berserker rage awakening once again (It went down while playing in Gastly’s stalling game, but then it comes back……).

“SUM*****!” I screamed, ready to make him pay. In fact, I was already Charging.

“Wob117, get ready for Mirror Coat!” Mr. Peter ordered.

“YOU AIN’T GONNA SURVIVE THIS!” The thunderclouds were gathering over me. And I was feeling the loose voltage in the air gathering in my cheek pouches. What I wouldn’t give to fry them BOTH………..


I shot a gigantic beam of electric energy at the duo, creating a gigantic smoke screen.

And just then, I heard a girl scream in the distance.


I toppled unceremoniously down the stairs, rolling head over heels, yelping in pain everytime my foot or my head came in contact with the stairs. Dammit.

I had no idea how much I yelled, but Rinoa cut my yelp short with a scream.

I landed right after that.

“RINOA!” I yelled. I scrambled to my knees and began attempting to crawl up the steps.

I succeeded, and when I could see over the steps, I saw my friend lying prone on the ground across the room, her body shuddering as a foreign agent attacked her organs. Her back was facing me, and I could see blood streaming from two large holes in her shirt.

Crawling over to her, I gripped her hand tightly. “Hang in there, Rinoa.”

“Agh……” She groaned.

“Damn, this is really bad……” I said. “We’re both pretty badly hurt. Can’t fight on this way.”

“Says……who……” Rinoa struggled into a sitting position, her face wrinkled in agony. “I’m not down yet……”

The Crobat burst in, a large, monstrous grin plastered on his face.

“Die.” He swooped towards us, intent on dealing a killing strike.

Rinoa will kill me for this afterwards, I thought as I dived forward towards her, flattening her on the ground, while the Crobat swept over our heads, ripping a little material from my hat at the same time.

“Get. Off. Me. NOW.” Rinoa still managed to be threatening even in pain.

Then I realized we were in a really embarrassing position. I lay on top of her, our lips meeting should I relax my head muscles and not turn my head to another angle.

Which was what was happening 5 seconds ago.

I scrambled away from her as she struggled to sit up again, this time failing.

“We gotta find somewhere to hide,” I ventured, attempting to find a way out of the situation.

She shot a weak glare at me, sitting up successfully this time.

My eyes searched the room, and found two pairs of pay-per-use binoculars, a couple of tables and four chairs. Enough to live.

“C’mon Rinoa, let’s get under that table,” I ordered, beginning to crawl towards the nearest table.

“Damn……Wait up…” She crawled too, grimacing.

Somehow, someway, we got under the table in time before the Crobat came back.

We breathed a sigh of relief, and just as I turned around to check on Rinoa…

The table suddenly ripped apart over our heads, the sharp edge of an adamantium blade narrowly missing my face by a millimeter as it ran right through the table.


“NYAHAHAHAHA!” Schiltz screeched, flying out of the building while splinters rained over us.

After about a few seconds, something was wrong. If he left the building, there wouldn’t be so many noises.

I heaved the downed table aside and looked around the room.

I was in time to see him leaving, and I saw, to my horror, that he had destroyed every single thing in the room, including the binoculars. For some reason, he’d missed the windows.

Holy crap.


Wob117. Smart name. Too bad he got owned for sh*t.

The Wobbuffet had used the last of his energy to shield is trainer from my supercallifragelisticexpealidocious blast of electricity, but Peter didn’t escape unscathed.

He emerged from the smoke, looking burnt, his robes in tatters. Sucker.

A Pokeball dropped on the ground, and a giant Gengar exploded from it.

My neck strained so much that I was practically looking straight up just to see his face.

Right then, I knew I was way out of my league. How strong was this guy? A couple of thousand times tougher than Gastly?

F*ck that sumb*tch. This one was going down.


The earth shook before I even detected any movement from Mr. Gengar. I was thrown around mercilessly, my already damaged body battering against rocks and other random stuff that just happened to be around. Like shards of the staff.

“Argh!” A pointy edge of the severed staff jabbed me in the back as I rolled to a stop.

A promising start.

My @$%.

“RAWR!!!” I drew the latent electric power in the air into my cheek pouches, charging for another power blast.

“SHADOW BALL!” Peter roared, pointing his finger at me.

The giant obliged, shooting a mass of black at me almost instantly.

The mass of black was moving too damn fast for most Pokemon to dodge normally. Unfortunately for Peter and his crony, I wasn’t most Pokémon.

I shot out from right under the blast with a much needed boost from Agility, and even then, I wasn’t totally out of the blast radius. Though it was much better than getting hit head on.

If that happened, I was a goner.

I flew into the air, somersaulting and cursing and basically having a screwed up brain. In short, I couldn’t think.

I landed very painfully on my tail. Must be retribution for my tail-pulling of dear old Lieutenant’s Raichu. And that piledriver.

I got to my feet, on crack now. Extra stored energy gives Pikachus boosts. Kinda like drugs, so we try to avoid them. But this case had to make an exception. I had to finish him in a single move.

I felt the energy peaking. I couldn’t hold in the power for long. But this wasn’t enough energy. Not enough power to pull off that beam.

Suddenly I lost my mind.

F*ck the beam. Full-scale attack.

“THUNDERBOLT!!!” I screamed, letting off all the latent energy residing in my cheek pouches.

The blast got the Gengar right in the chest, and it smirked.

The realization hit me that I was now finished. The energy had been driving me along all this time. Now I’d used it all up.

And there wasn’t any more time to charge.

A giant ball of black energy flew towards me. It engulfed my whole body.

And the world went black.



I was still in shock when a black void entered my mind. A large black void. A yawning, gaping hole where Felix was.

“FELIX!” I tried to reach out to him, but there was no reply.

No. Impossible.

Felix……had died?

“Rinoa!” Brendan’s voice shook me out of my stupor, and the pain came rushing back at once.

I staggered and realized I was on my feet, supported by Brendan. He was leaning on his good foot.

“Wha?” I was still disoriented from everything happening at once.

“Come ON.” He heaved me. “Like walk on your own and support me instead.”

I grimaced and what he said, trying to ignore the pain. “Where the hell are we going?”

He bit his lip. “I don’t know. Our options are like, running out.”

Looking around, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out.

Schiltz hadn’t left anything to chance. He even cut the potted plants in the corner to pieces. Go figure.

The wall in front of us began to crack, and I found myself shoved to the side.

I hit the window painfully and I spun to face Brendan, an angry look on my face.

Everything happened quickly after that, but it seemed to be played in slow motion.

Schiltz burst in, heading for Brendan, who was standing his ground, staring bravely ahead, and my eyes widened in shock as I realized what he was trying to do.

But he changed direction at the last moment.

He flew towards me, right beside me.

I felt a sharp, searing pain at my stomach area.

The force threw me backwards, crashing into the window.

Breaking it.

My back scraping against the windowsill.

On the shattered glass on the windowsill.

My body flying out of the window.

My centre of gravity going outside the window.




Landing on my head.

Things stabbing into my head.

Rolling backwards.

Landing on fours.

Collapsing forward……

I could hear a faint yell Brendan as my eyes almost closed.

I won’t faint……I WON’T!

Fighting against the pain, fighting to stay awake……

Fighting and losing.

The world went black.


The large ball of energy hit the Pikachu head on, but nothing happened.

There wasn’t even a trace of the attack.

Peter gasped. How is that possible? After that last Shadow Ball……He should have gone down!

Then he remembered. This is the devil. Of course, he can withstand my attacks! Then I shall opt for a more decisive blow…

“Don’t bother.” A human voice. From the Pikachu.

Wait. It wasn’t a normal Pikachu.

The Pikachu was twice its size, its face hidden from view due to that fact that it was looking down.

Its skin was black.

Peter staggered back in horror. I MUST DESTROY THIS ABOMINATION! Fresh determination surged through him.


“Gengar,” His companion obliged, summoning the powerful light from the skies, and it struck the Pikachu.


The Pikachu raised its head, a smirk plastered over its face.

“Game over.”

Both trainer and Pokémon stared into his eyes, those evil, diabolical, pupiless red eyes.

With a single blast of energy, what was Felix blew everything away.

The things around vaporized.

The Gengar turned into a red light, returning to its orb, but even there, he writhed in pain, attacked by an overwhelmingly powerful, foreign force.

Peter was less fortunate. He bore the full brunt of the attack.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” Blood poured from his eyes, his nose, his mouth, and all other openings in his body. He felt like he was being torn apart atom by atom and crushed into tight ball of matter all at the same time.

The Pikachu grasped the helpless ten-year-old. “Tell your granny I send regards.”

Peter choked.

“I’ll let you off easy this time.” The Pikachu threw the boy away like a child would an unwanted rag doll, and teleported him back to wherever he came from. “I’ve got other things to do.”

Felix stopped his attack.

Most of the route had now vaporized.

But that didn’t matter.

Right now, all that mattered……

Was what he was going to do next.


Schiltz ripped out through the roof, laughing manaically as I stood there in shock.

How did he do that? How did he know……I’d shoved Rinoa there? No……Why…….

I ran to the window, tears in my eyes.

It can’t be.…..

I saw her lying motionless on the ground.


And the building exploded suddenly.

I was flung into the air.

Everything was a blur.

I couldn’t remain conscious.

As my brain began to shut down, I saw a black blur.

Pure black.

One that radiated pure evil.

:::Crobat Schiltz:::

“ARGH!” The building exploded beneath and I was flung up into the air.

Whatever the hell it was, it couldn’t beat me.

“DAMN YOU!” I righted myself, and saw my adversity.

A black, gigantic Pikachu.

I was stunned. Unable to move.

In that time, I was bested.

I felt a powerful crunching blow hit me from above, and I plummeted right into the ground.

I couldn’t move.

My body felt crippled. I could only move my head.

I did, and saw the girl lying on the dock. Well, at least I succeeded. But I didn’t want to return now. Master’s repairs were painful. And best case scenario, I was severely damaged.

Better to just end it all.

“Schiltz to Master,” I gasped with my last breath as I activated the self-destruct, “I will finish those cretins once and for all. I’ll kill them with one blast!”

I terminated the connection just as the Pikachu crashed down in front of me, rear end facing me.

He was going to die.

The timer beeped my last three seconds.


I smiled.



He spun around.






2nd June 2006, 10:55 AM
;330;(CENSORED)!! I hate you for that cliffhanger. Hate you hear me, hate! Okay, not really hate, but that is one (censored) of a cliffhanger. Awesome chapter overall.

;359; OOH! I love those moments where it is incredibly awkward. Nylf has like 50 dozen of them planned in his fics, if he can ever be bothered to write further than the fifth chapter of ANYTHING. Though it was hard to tell, did their lips actually meet or not? Hard to tell.

;373; Good description, very talky, great action, near satanic level evil cliffhangers(sorry satanists, we're all Catholic in this post, so it's kinda obvious where we stand on satanism), and of course, plot twists that make FFVII easy to follow.

;249-d; YAY! Felix died!

;330; Did you actually read the entire chapter?

;249-d; No, just that awesome bit where in which Felix died!

;330;*sigh* Shut up Jack before I go Texas Chainsaw Massacre on your (censored)*Jack cowers in corner*. Anyway, great chapter, keep it up.

Felix Feral Fezirix
15th June 2006, 2:47 AM
Cina, their lips met. End of story.

I'm so evil...I feel evil. >:3

I can safely tell you Felix will never fall until Chapter 200+! >_< NEVER!

And in that state, the explosion probably did nothing. >_< Not even a scratch. The power of insane berserkers...Mwahahahaha...

Now to get back to writing Chapter 18 before you start killing me, Nylf. >_<

Aqua Umbreon 198
28th June 2006, 1:57 AM
(cencored)you (censored)!
*looks after finishing game*
oh sorry I was playing Super Smash Bros. Melee before I realized I forgot to post.
Kept getting killed. (:3)
More randomosity, bombs, and insanity eh?
yeah I've been in Tennesse(sp?) the whole time.
(Note to all who play Melee:Never Use Pikachu when fighting C.Falcon, Bowser, and DK.It requires some one tall.)

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st July 2006, 4:19 AM
Note to self: Make a game where a Pikachu is t3h ultimate character. -evil laugh-

If you've read all the way, Aqua Umbreon, you'd know that randomosity, bombs and insanity is my middle name. Yes, it's long, but hyphens are almighty.

Yes. We're all engrossed in games! Must...stop...playing...GOLDEN SUN: THE LOST AGE!!!

-looks around- Oh dear.

-runs before he is killed by unknown forces-

Aqua Umbreon 198
5th July 2006, 12:53 AM
You're playing Golden Sun:tla? That is an awsome game! ,but I never could do some things on it I was at Jupiter Lighthouse till my game got lost. My cousin gave me Golden sun:tla,but then my other cousin gave me the first one after I lost the second one. Very good game. And, yes I did read the other chapters.

Felix Feral Fezirix
5th July 2006, 4:32 PM
Back to the point, I really should start brainstorming and stop thinking about Golden Sun shippings...>_<

28th February 2007, 12:52 PM
Man, that was a good fic!!!! Love the story-line! Anywayz, A 5/5 for me!

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st March 2007, 1:26 PM
OMG liek thanks honey. XD It's somehow fun to shorten your name to just honey...

Thanks for your post! I feel the fire burn hot within me! I must wrtie copiously TODAY! RAWR!

(I recently started managing at least 15 minutes a day... XD)

Though when this thing get started again, it'll be in a new thread. T.T

Still, perservere I must!

Pika out.

20th April 2007, 8:26 AM
Really? Well I'm glad I helped you! Good luck!

Get going on it! :)


23rd April 2007, 3:39 AM
I just read it all and I LOVED IT! awesomeness all the way! although i found some scenes where it was wierd uhh like you worded it wierd I mean to say you uhh... (crams head with forgotten knowledge) uhh... (continues cramming) oh ya now i know! you forgot to put in a word or combined two or you kinda just did sometin like that.

when you restart it you MUST!!!!!!!!!!!! send me a PM CUZ IF YOU DONT! I WILL murderize you!

I like to write too but i wont post anytin here... made that mistake twice and got screamed at by two people and didn't write anything for like 4 months... ya...

anyway I am TOTALLY shocked that you play Golden Sun: The Lost Age, its one of THE best games EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (i do that when i get hyper) (which i is) i have beaten it... how many times? (begins counting on fingers... loses count... begins again and loses count) i'll just say I have beaten too many times to count. who is your favorite character? and have you played the first one? I have beaten but not as many times as TLA... TLA has a storyline that is like... better than yours better than most... and yours comes in a VERY close second I have too say but i've read fics with better storylines well only one... but that one is only barely.

i ask again who is your favorite character? mine is i think uhh... umm... there all so awesome... although Felix's personality and Isaacs make a HUGE change from golden sun and TLA.

uhh... and my favorite character of your fic is very hard to telll between Rino and Felix who has the same name as the main-main character from TLA which is cool.

anyhoo ya I is hyper and i tends to make a zerology of sense when I is hyperz.

24th April 2007, 10:15 AM
Super fic!!!Took me about 4hrs reading this.
And on the first post, you should have posted the links to differnt chapters so people will not have to search for the chapters.

My favourite character would be Rinoa.All shall bow to the mighty metal sledghammer!!

25th April 2007, 12:08 PM
ya the MIGHTY SLEDGEHAMMER OF OLD has returned. I can't Believe they switched Misty with May; that sue of a character doesn't realize that a venasaur that was training before she was born can't be beaten by a pokemon that being trained for like 4 months tops... type advantage or no... Sorry you May fans out there she a sue in my eyes and i respect your opinion if you like her or not i won't dispute it.

back to the point... My fave is either Felix or Rinoa... i can hardly tells. on one hand we got giant sledgehammer of head bashing. on the other we got flaming tail of doom. flaming tail, giant hammer, flaming tail, giant hammer, flaming tail, giant hammer, I CANT CHOOSE

ya... and i just read all posts u get more into the story (i do) if you read what peoples' thoughts were as it was made.

and a question for the author...

If you say, HAD to give the characters of Brendan Rinoa and Felix a religion wich religion would they have? (you may make up your own if ur ready to describe everything about it =) good luck)

Felix Feral Fezirix
25th April 2007, 12:47 PM
Ultaflame: I will...X_X When I actually manage to do it, that is.

Anyway, the new revised version will have differently named characters and a whole new depth...But don't worry, your favourite characters will retain their flavour. One will just go by a different name.


Four hours!? You give me too much credit. Was it THAT long...?

ANd anyway, sorry for the searching, but I find it better since you can read people's comments. ^_^ And that's some of the fun, mehthinks.

ANd don't worry, Sledgehammer will see as much screentime as here, if not more. Mostly because Sledgehammer's anti-Felix powers help keep everyone sane. XD

If I had to give Brendan, Felix and Rinoa a religion...

Brendan: Christian (Just fits him somehow.)
Rinoa: Atheist (She doesn't believe in anything, not even herself.)
Felix: Pikachuism (Felix founded Pikachuism. Pikachuism forever!)

And there's your answer. XD

25th April 2007, 9:13 PM
oh darn it! I again find myself debating between Rinoa and Felix...

your not going to rename Rinoa are you? and rename the characters so they arent Yellow and blue or red that could be a last name.

oh? the new reason to debate between them? haha i am atheist but with the introduction to Pikachuism may be enough to convert me to Pikachuism i dont know if i should remain atheist or become Pikachuistic.

what do u tink?

ATHEISM/PIKACHUISM FOREVER WOO WOO WOO ATHEISM/PIKACHUISM IS DA BEST CUZ *insert beat and rythym from...* WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! THATS RIGHT ATHEISM/PIKACHUISM WILL HUH? YES US OF THE ATHEISM/PIKACHUISM WILL! ROCK YOU! WE WILL! WE WILL WHAT? *characters in background* ROCK YOU*singers* WE WILL WE WILL *for the 'Rock You' part both background and singers sing* ROCK YOU WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!*song repeats this verse 3 times before fading out to 'We Will We Will Rock You!'* *when fade finishes* ATHEIS/PIKACHUISM ROCK YOU SOCKS!

take out either Atheism or Pikachuism in the song leaving the one you follow in the lyrics.

I made a song thats basically a copy off an old (but awesome) song. lols should i delete that part of my post? if you say yes I will readily exterminatify it...