PDA

View Full Version : Emerald lands



Nylf
21st July 2005, 8:14 PM
Yep, a third fanfic by me, and I haven't been here a week yet!

Prologue

In Hoenn, many trainers have one goal, the Hoenn League.
One kid dreams but is unable to acieve, yet.

In the desert by Lavaridge, a little boy was sitting in the searing heat and sandstorms as if it was a cool breeze. Beside him was a small orange chick, with a yellow feather on it's head and little yellow wings.It was a Torchic. Also, there was a black bug with a massive head, 4 tiny legs and a smallish black body with orange lines running around the edge. This was a shiny Trapinch. Above them watching was a 6ft tall dragon with a light green body, a light and dark green striped tail with 3 red diamond shapes with green borders at the end. It had tiny clawed arms, big light green feet with dark green toes. It had 2 huge light green wings with dark green borders. It's head had two red bug-eye-like capsules covering it's slanted eyes, and 2 large green antennae. It was a Flygon, and the Trapinch's mother.

A dark blue helicopter, with a skull and crossbones like "A" on the side, appeared. It landed in front of a huge, temple-like rock. 9 men in pirate like clothes got out and headed towards it. The Flygon descended and landed right in the men's way, stopping them in their tracks. "Ah, the infamous guardian, well we came prepared. Go Glalie!". The men threw 2 pokeballs, which opened to reveal 2 large black and white snowball like creatures, with slanted eyes and 2 massive black horns. "Glalie, Ice beam!" the two men at the front yelled as the snowballs fired a blue, freezing cold beams at Flygon, which encased it in a block of ice. They turned to a man with a black beard, and navy business suit. He was wearing a light blue bandanna, with the same "A" emblem as earlier on the front. "What do we do now Archie sir?" the man at front asked. The man with a beard replied "Load that ice cube into the helicopter, then check the rock".

While all this was happening, the kid, Torchic and Trapinch had hidden behind a nearby rock. The Trapinch was curled up in a ball behind the boy, and he was reassuring the black insect.

The men had just finished checking the rock. "Nothing sir!", Archie simply replied "well then let's go, and we'd better dump this ice cube in the sea before it melts and attacks us". The men climbed into the helicopter and left. At that point, the boys Trapinch gave off an aura and the sandstorm seemed to intensify.

3 weeks later, the boy and his 2 pokemon were sitting in their room watching a live news broadcast from Lilycove. "I am here on the scene at Lilycove, where a famale Flygon has just washed ashore. Not much has been confirmed on this issue, but what has been confirmed by medical practitioners is that this Flygon has died of accute hypothermia!" The boy switched off his T.V. and turned to his Trapinch. The little bug was crying and had dug a hole in the floor to hide and cry in.

3 years passed since that day. The boy, now 14 years old, has just left his house to begin his journey. His name was Drake, and at his side were the same Torchic and Trapinch as 3 years ago. He was walking down the road, when he saw 2 trainers in a battle. One of the pokemon they were using used an Ice Beam attack. The Trapinch cowerd behind Drake, and began to cry....



Opinions soon please.

Saya
21st July 2005, 9:21 PM
Hmm...not too bad. It was a little short, but since it is a prologue I'll let it slide. Just remember that your chapters should be longer though; at least two pages on MS WORD. I liked your idea, and thought it was pretty original (though the teamsAqua and Magma are a little overused). You had some pretty good description at the beginning, but near the end you got very vague. There was almost no description by the last paragraph. You might want to cut out that last paragraph too, as it would be better to flesh it out for the first chapter. It would give us a better idea of the impact that day had on Drake and his Pokemon. Unless you have something else in mind of course. That's not for me to decide, but it's just a pointer.

Also, your use of numbers was slightly off. Whenever you use numbers in your writing never type them out like this: 3, unless the number is something higher than ten. Even then I like to see them written out. Three. That makes the story flow a lot better. Also, whenever someone speaks it should be a new paragraph. It makes your writing longer, and its easier on the readers eyes. It will usually help attract readers to your fic. I know from personal experience. ~_^

You had a few typos and such, but overall I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning of your fic. I'm hoping that your next chapter will astound me! ~_^

Keep up the great writing!

~Saya~

Nylf
21st July 2005, 9:30 PM
;330;Thanks, but I don't use MS Word, or any wordprocessor, since I write mine on A4. Maybe I should start wordprocessing though. And in the beginning I like to be vague, since it gets people interested. And just to spoil it, this will be a to-league story with a little romance(won't reveal new character) with a little final destiny thrown in! And Team Magma aren't in it yet but I have a really good reason for using those teams. Anyway next chapter when I write it.

Saya
22nd July 2005, 12:17 AM
Well, i think you should always use a WORD processor (except if you don't have one) as it's easier for everyone.

Sometimes vague isn't so good, but if it is what oyu want for your story then it's fine. Well, now that oyu mentiond a romance I'm interested :P Anyway, I hope you'll post chapter one soon!

Saffire Persian
22nd July 2005, 5:43 AM
Prologue

In Hoenn, many trainers have one goal, the Hoenn League.
One kid dreams but is unable to acieve, yet.


4 tiny legs and a smallish black body with orange lines running around the edge. This was a shiny Trapinch. Above them watching was a 6ft tall dragon with a light green body, a light and dark green striped tail with 3 red diamond shapes with green borders at the end.

Where the numbers are, spell them out. So four instead of '4'. That's the traditional way of doing it. You write out the name of the number fully up to a hundred. Anything after that, it's acceptable to use numbers. The only exception is when the number value is the price of an item. Ex: 19.95


The men had just finished checking the rock.

Perhaps you could explain the procedure they had to do while checking the rock?

3
where a famale Flygon has just washed ashore.

Female, not famale. And.. died by Hypothermia? Not by drowning? since it was found in the washed upon shore and all... and obviously wasn't an icecube when they found here (or so I'm assuming).



The Trapinch cowerd behind Drake, and began to cry....

Just the reaction I would've expected from the Trapinch. Good showing of the after effects of its mother's death.

Nylf
22nd July 2005, 7:54 PM
;330;Thanks, and the checking of the rock wasn't important. Flygon's death will be explained later in the story. Trapinch's experience is practically a curse. And speaking of drowning........(whistles and looks at a ;357;) Anyway just to spoil it if you have emerald you will recognise 4 of Drake's team soon. Drake's team is the team I'm gonna use in Emerald. Oh and there will be three main characters.

Oh, I won't be here for a week since I'm going on holiday for a week, so I'll write the next chapter to this and my other two fanfics while I'm off enjoying myself.

Nylf
1st August 2005, 6:56 PM
Sorry to double post, but had to write next chapter. I have taken your advice and started using MWWP to write my fanfics. Well here it is!


Suila

At Littleroot Town, a girl who had blue hair tied back in a ponytail, and who was wearing a form fitting aqua-blue shirt and a turquoise mini skirt walked into a large white building.

Once inside, she found she was surrounded by a large array of bookshelves and confusing machinery. She entered a room, where she was greeted by an assistant, and was asked to sit down. She felt really out of place, but she also really wanted that Mudkip…..

Meanwhile, a boy in a green hoody, with green hair, a yellow T-shirt and black track-suit bottoms was riding on the back of a large brown and green dinosaur with a leaf helmet, three bananas hanging from it’s neck and four huge palm leaves for wings, alongside a tall man in a pale T-shirt, grey trousers, numerous tattoos and short black hair. It was Drake and his father, flying on the back his father’s Tropius. “Dad, why do I have to start at Littleroot? I would have been better starting at Lavaridge, it’s way nearer to home” Drake asked in a whiny tone, “I would like to let you, but your Torchic and Trapinch are at a very low level, so you’re better off starting in Littleroot, and following the same journey route as most trainers. Anyway, you need to collect something from your Uncle Birch.”
“Birch!?!” Drake thought to himself, “Last thing he gave me was Torchic, and that was three years ago. Wonder what it will be this time?”
“Okay, we’re here Drake, I’ll see you after you get your third Gym Badge.” said his father, as his Tropius landed and Drake dismounted. “Bye Dad, I’ll see you soon!” Drake shouted, as his dad flew off on his Tropius. “One of these days, I’m gonna get a Tropius as well, and it’s gonna be stronger than even yours Dad!” Drake thought to himself happily. He then turned and entered the lab.

Back at Birches Lab, the girl from earlier has finally met with Professor Birch. A burly man, with thick brown hair and a similarly thick and brown beard, dressed in the usual ”professor“ garb greeted her. “Ah, you must be Suila. Your mother called earlier. I’ll suppose you want to choose a starter Pokemon, am I right?”
“Yes!!!” she replied, in a very excited tone. “Well I am afraid to say that two of my three starter Pokemon have already been taken, so you will have to settle for the one I give you, alright?” he replied, slightly patronisingly. Suila’s excitement disappeared. She answered very weakly “Sure.” She thought to herself “PLEASE BE MUDKIP,PLEASE BE MUDKIP!” as the Professor picked up a small, round, red and white Pokeball, and opened it………

At that point, Drake had made it to Birch’s office, and was sitting in the same waiting room as Suila had sat in earlier. “Great, another trainer. Maybe I’ll challenge them to a battle, I could use the practice.” He looked down at the two Pokemon sitting at his feet. Trapinch had dozed off, and Torchic looked ready to do the same. Drake thought “What would the pre-evolved form of Wobbuffet say in this situation? ’Whynaut!’” and Drake then proceeded to doze off.

Back in the office, Suila was now staring eye-to-eye with a small blue fish, which had four little legs, a large blue fin on it’s head, two sets of three orange gills on each cheek, and a large light blue tail fin. Suila was grinning ear to ear. “Yes!! I finally got a Mudkip” she thought to herself, but somehow Birch knew what was going through her head. “Well here’s it Pokeball, take good care of it”.
“I will!” she replied happily.
“Oh, before you leave, which challenge are you taking; Gym or Contest!”
“Gym, why?”
“I’ll explain in a minute. Drake get in here!” he yelled.

Drake awoke. With Torchic and Trapinch at his heel, he entered the room. “You called Uncle Birch?” he said drowsily.
“Wait, you’re professor Birch’s nephew?” Suila immediately questioned in her usual excited tone.
“Yawwwwwwn, yeah, why?” was all Drake could think to say. He was still rather drowsy, but he couldn’t help noticing the stunning appearance of the girl standing in front of him.
“Well you must know all about different kinds of Pokemon and…” There was a subtly dry cough from behind them, which interrupted Suila mid sentence.
“Well I don’t mean to interrupt your rather frankly riveting conversation, but there is a reason I called my nephew in here. I wanted to give you both a Pokedex. Since you are both doing the Gym challenge, and one of my more recent receivers of a Torchic annoyingly chose to do the contest challenge, I was hoping you two would fill these for me?”

“Sure Uncle!”
“Yeah why not!” the two teenagers replied. They were both handed Pokedexes, and then went outside.
“Hey, Birch’s nephew, why don’t we have a battle, to test our new Pokemon?” asked Suila, still using the same excited tone.
“Well mine are hardly new, but they haven’t got so much battle experience, so why not? Go Trapinch! And by the way, the name is Drake, Drake Dragonheart” Drake hastily replied.
“My name is Suila Tsunami, nice to meet you, now go Mudkip!” Mudkip and Trapinch both appeared in front of their respective trainers.
“Mudkip, Tackle!” Suila commanded, as the blue fish charged headlong at the black bug.
“Trapinch, Bite” Drake said quite calmly, as the black bug opened it’s cavernous mouth, catching the poor Mudkip mid tackle, which emphasised the “Trap” part of Trapinch.” Now throw it into the wall!” Drake yelled, as Trapinch threw the blue fish into the white wall at the front of the lab. “Now use Faint Attack!” he added, as Trapinch ran head-first into the weakened blue fish, knocking it into a blue skateboard with a Tsunami pattern on the underside. “Now use Crunch!” Rick shouted,
“Mudkip dodge!” was all Suila could think to tell her Mudkip, as it jumped out of the way of the charging black bug, which led to Trapinch engulfing the skateboard, instead of Mudkip. In it’s confusion, it closed it’s mouth and snapped the board in two.

“No, my skateboard! Your Trapinch broke my skateboard Drake Dragonheart! You’re gonna have to pay me back for it!” Suila yelled. (Wait a minute! I could have sworn I have seen something like this situation before, but I can’t remember where. Oh well, on with the fic) Drake sweat dropped. He promptly returned both his Pokemon and ran as fast as he could away.

“Don’t think you can get away so easily Drake Dragonheart! I’m gonna follow you till you pay up!” She yelled after Drake, as she promptly returned her Mudkip, then ran after him…



Any similarity to a scene in the first two episodes of pokemon is completely coincidental. Really, it is!

lone_wolf816
11th August 2005, 11:09 PM
Interesting!! It has to be a bit longer though:p and make a new paragraph every time someelse starts talking. other then that a great start!

;133;

WaterTrainer243
12th August 2005, 12:09 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Drake's gonna have to pay for Suila's skateboard just as Ash had to with Misty's bike! Keep this coming!

Nylf
12th August 2005, 4:29 PM
;330; It's like that? I never noticed(*cough*) Anyway I'm off on holiday tommorrow, so the next chapter may not be up for a while.(About a week).

metallic_pikachu
14th August 2005, 4:00 PM
I thought the kid was Brendan at the beginning...eh heh...*sweatdrops*

legendaryrider
14th August 2005, 8:12 PM
poor trapinch. this is about drake the hoenn(SP) dragon master?

Nylf
20th August 2005, 9:35 PM
;330;No, here's the biggest spoiler. It's his grandson!

Nylf
23rd August 2005, 10:41 PM
;330;Sorry to double post. Here’s the next chapter!

With just a Lotad of Help.

“Where are you Drake?!” Suila yelled angrily, “I know you’re here, Mudkip can sense you’re here with it’s fin.”
“Great, just great.” Drake muttered. He had destroyed Suila’s skateboard the day before by accident, during their Pokemon battle, and has been forced to hide on route 101 and in Oldale. Other than hide, he battled some wild Pokemon, but when he did Suila noticed and forced him to run all the way into the town, and hide in alleys. He was lucky he packed a large lunch, since otherwise he would have had to come out of hiding. Drake knew his grandfather and father had given him some good advice, but he had forgotten it, of course.

“Dammit that skateboard cost a fortune! Come out and pay up Drake! Otherwise I will find you and kill you!” Suila was still ranting. Her parents were lucky to afford that awesome skateboard. They barely had enough to keep all three of them in food and water every week. It helped she’s now left on her quest, they don’t have to be so tight with their budget. Anyway it cost them so much, and Drake just destroyed it. She had been planning on asking if she could journey with that kid after their battle. Now she had no clue what to do. She didn’t even know where she was. She had just followed Drake. Her skateboard was wrecked, her hopes of having a partner on the journey dashed (I mean seriously, if she didn’t know where she was know, how was she supposed to find her way out, and meet other trainers to journey with?), and she was lost. Things couldn’t get worse….

“That’s it!” Drake yelled, completely forgetting the fact Suila was trying to find and kill him. His dad and granddad always said “If you in a row or argument, and it seems hopeless, make a compromise”. Now what should he do. He knew what to do, but not how to do it. He might as well examine the situation in more detail. Let’s see…, Suila doesn’t seem to be the best trainer, in fact she’s kinda clueless (and slightly homicidal). And he didn’t have much money, and the quickest way for trainers to make money was to journey and beat other trainers and….. Eureka! He jumped out of his hiding place, and Suila swiftly turned to face him, her anger quite visible on her normally smiling face. She had Mudkip in her hand, and pointing it rather ominously like a gun at Drake. She was just about to fire when Drake yelled,
“Hey Suila, before you kill me, I have an idea. I don’t have enough money to pay you back right now, so I’ll journey with you till I can pay you back, if that’s okay with you”.

She was stunned. He just offered to journey with her till he paid her back. Yes! Her problems were solved. She’s got a travelling partner, she’s gonna be paid back and she wasn’t going to be imprisoned for homicide! Perfect! But she shouldn’t seem to eager. She put on a huffy face, lowered Mudkip slowly, then dropped him, and finally replied in a rather moody tone, “Fine, that’ll do. So what do we do now?” Even though she trying her best to not be pleased, she couldn’t help but giggle when Drake took her arm in arm to the Pokemon Centre.

That night…..

“ So why are you travelling Suila?” Drake inquired, as they sat in the pure white waiting room of the Pokemon Centre. The blue, fluffy cushions of the sofa he and Suila were sat on really helped take the tension of earlier away. He couldn’t believe he was talking civilly with the person who had attempted to kill him earlier. It didn’t hurt they both had small cups of hot cocoa and it was a clear night outside, which meant some moonlight was coming into the room, so the lights weren’t on and the room itself had a gentle, warm glow.
“Well I want to prove you can be a Pokemon master using just one of the base three types as the centre of your team,” she replied, smiling. ‘Drake’s a nice kid’ she thought. He had shown her round the Pokemon Centre, explaining everything as they went. He then showed her round the town, acting as if he was a tour guide (she found it particularly funny when he pointed to an old woman with a Anorith, and said “Here we have a fine example of the ancient Pokemon of Hoenn, who thrived 5’000 years ago. Looks like she caught hers back when it’s kind were thriving”) After showing her round town, he went into the Poke’ Mart and bought her all the basic equipment (pokeballs, potions, that sorta thing, and she made a mental note to knock some of his debt off for that). Finally he took her into the Pokemon Centre again, and had booked them a room for the night. She couldn’t believe she had tried to kill him earlier. It would have been easier to stay calm. Still, she couldn’t help the way she was. And Drake seems to have gotten over it.
“What type are you using?” Stupid question. Very stupid question. He should have guessed by her starter.
“Water, I figure you would have guessed, Mr. Smarty-Dragon. Why are you travelling by the way?” She couldn’t believe he hadn’t guessed. ‘Oh well,’ she thought, ‘At least I’ve got a great nickname for him now!’
“Same as most people, to become a Pokemon Master. It’s actual a kind of family tradition. My grandpa’s in the Hoenn Elite Four, my dad’s a retired gym leader, my mum’s a master coordinator, my Dad’s brother is in the Kanto Elite Four, my brother’s a Pokemon Master in Kanto, Johto and Hoenn, and my mum’s brother is a Professor Birch.” ‘Oops, that sounded like bragging. Great, now she’ll either be annoyed or go fan girl on me,” Drake thought.
“Oh, so who’s your grandpa and uncle on your dad’s side?” ‘Quite the family history, who knew one person could be related to so many great trainers’ Suila thought, as she drank more cocoa.
“My grandpa’s Drake Dragonheart Sr., and my uncle’s Lance Dragonheart,” ‘Here we go, she’s gonna go fan girl on me,’ Drake thought, preparing himself mentally.
“Oh, that’s cool,” ‘I should of guessed by the name. Still, Drake Sr. and Lance may be cool, but they’re no Lorelei Tidal or Glacia Tundara’
“Thanks, we’d better collect our Pokemon and turn in for the night.” ‘Oh my God, she didn’t go fan girl on me. That’s a first’ Drake thought, both shocked and relieved at the same time.
“Right” She replied, throwing her cocoa cup in the bin and heading over to the room.

“Well here we are, our room!” went Drake, showing Suila.
“Wait, we’re sharing a room?” Suila immediately questioned, looking sort of worried.
“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry, just wear your T-shirt and underwear to bed, there are only blankets, so it gets kinda cold at night”,
“Ummm, slight problem with that,”
“What, you’re not wearing a t-shirt?”
“There’s that, and I’m also not sorta wearing the other thing…..”

The next morning….

“Time to go Suila!” Drake said, poking the sleeping girl. She looked different without her ponytail.
“Wazzaf***isgoingontimeisit?” she said, extremely drowsily.
“It’s time to leave, and it’s half past six in the morning” he replied, surprisingly awake-sounding.
“SIX THIRTY!!?? You’re awake at this hour?!” (Didn’t take her long to wake up, did it?)
“Yeah, and for good reason. The wild Pokemon are still drowsy, and there aren’t many other trainers out at this time, so we don’t have to worry about too many fights” he replied to Suila’s surprisingly loud and awake question.
“Since you put it like that, could you leave so I can get dressed?” She said, not daring to sit up (you heard what those two were talking about last night).
“Yeah, fine” answered Drake, putting his hands on his neck and leaving, his Trapinch and Torchic at heel.

10 minutes later….

“OK, let’s go!” Suila said, and as she said it she stood on one leg, then raised the opposite hand in the air, cheerleader-like. Drake, Mudkip, Torchic and Trapinch all sweat dropped. Once Drake and the Pokemon regained there composition, and Suila stopped standing on one leg, they set of down route 102.

They walked through the tree’s at the edge of town, and finally out onto the path. They were greeted by a spectacular scene. Thick, green grass, crystal clear pools of water, thick patches of trees and of course, trainers, their Pokemon and wild Pokemon.
“Hmmm.. the dex says that the Pokemon on route are Poochyena, Zigzagoon, Ralts, Wurmple, Lotad and Seedot, nothing I want to catch in particular, what about you?” Drake said, turning his sideways and finding Suila peeking over his shoulder.
“Well which are water Pokemon?” Suila answered and asked.
“Lotad’s the only water Pokemon, and you could just do this on your own dex, instead of peeking over my shoulder.” Drake replied, narrowing his eyes when he looked back at Suila after checking his dex once more. Suila giggled, embarrassed, Drake was right, she could have. She promptly looked up Lotad in her dex, and found it.
“Lotad, Water and Grass element. No further information available, due to lack of capture.” A robotic voice said.
“Well then, I want one. I need a grass type, and Lotad is sooooooooooo cute!” she said, doing the same stance she did earlier, which also led to the same reaction as before.

Drake was sitting by a particularly large pool of water. The best place he could think of to find a Lotad. He himself had caught every other Pokemon there was here, and promptly teleported them to Professor Birch. Once he had caught one of a type of Pokemon, he then just had either Trapinch or Torchic defeat it. It had been so long that Trapinch and Torchic were now both level ten. Suila on the other hand, was crawling around the grass behind them, and was getting attacked more often, but generally the high pitched screech she always let out when she ran into one always sent them running. The few who did stay, she never caught them just beat them. Eventually, Suila came over to Drake holding an unconscious Mudkip in her arms. Drake sighed. She gave him Mudkip with a worried expression on her face, while he simply pulled a small yellow gem out his bag. He placed it in Mudkip’s mouth, then sprayed it with a potion. Mudkip woke up, and Suila thanked Drake by giving him a hug on impulse. Drake blushed slightly, and his two Pokemon sweat dropped, while Mudkip seemed utterly fascinated. Then a small creature leapt out the water.

“Lotad!” the creature said, as Suila and Drake broke out of their embrace and stared at it. It was a small blue bug, with a duck beak, blank expression, and six stubby little legs. To top of it’s unusual appearance, it had an enormous lily pad on it’s back.
“I can’t remember, is that it?” Suila asked, still staring at the blue creature.
“Yep” Drake replied.
“Now what do I do?” Drake face faulted at this comment. He dragged himself up and answered,
“You battle it, and then when it’s weak you throw a Pokeball.”
“Ok, go Mudkip,” she said, as the little blue fish/frog thing leapt forward. “Use Tackle attack Mudkip,” yelled Suila, pointing at Lotad. Mudkip immediately charged headfirst into Lotad, knocking it over. It didn’t get up.
“Ok, that seemed too easy, Suila what level’s your Mudkip?” Drake asked quizzically.
“Later, I want to catch Lotad first, OK?”, she said, as she looked over to Drake, and he merely nodded. “Pokeball, go!” Suila yelled, as she threw a Pokeball at Lotad. It missed it.
Drake and all the conscious Pokemon (I.e.: not Lotad) face faulted. “Oops, Mudkip, could you get it so the big white button on the red and white ball touches Lotad?” Suila asked, rubbing the back of her head nervously. Mudkip nodded, then shot a stream of water at the Pokeball, causing it to roll towards Lotad until the button touched it. The ball opened and a red light shot out. The light dematerialised Lotad, and sucked it inside. It then started to shake, once, twice, thrice, ‘Ping’. The button flashed red, which meant a successful capture, Drake got up, picked up Lotad’s ball and threw it to Suila.
“Well done, but work on your aim a little, OK?” Drake said as he threw the ball.
“Yeah, whatever,” went Suila as she caught it, then waved her free hand in a ’I don’t really care’ manner, “ Anyway, I caught a Lotad!” She performed her cheerleader stance, with Lotad’s Pokeball in her raised hand. Drake sweat dropped, laughing a little. Suila realised Lotad from it’s ball, and the two trainers and their four Pokemon continued on their journey.

There you have it. Opinions soon please.

lone_wolf816
23rd August 2005, 11:13 PM
Finally an update! I like the humour and the description like when Drake joked about the old lady! And i think my Umbreon Shadow has something to say to you...

;197; Drake and Suila sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! i'm sensing some shipping!

now that thats out of my system i will say that your writing is getting better but you need to make more paragraphs.

;197;

Nylf
24th August 2005, 3:44 PM
;359;Shoulda seen sommat like that coming.

;330; That's what you get for doing stuff like that Cina, and what did I tell you about the first spot?

;359; Sorry S.F.

;330; S'alright Cina. Now then, I'm saying nothing 'bout the plot. But did you read the part about the rooms, I added it when I was typing and it was hard not to laugh.

legendaryrider
24th August 2005, 10:07 PM
;330;No, here's the biggest spoiler. It's his grandson!

Okay. i just thought it was drake because his fave pokemon is flygon.

Nylf
24th August 2005, 10:23 PM
;330;I thought Drake's favourite was Salamence, oh well. Thanks Lone_wolf for the review.

Nylf
7th September 2005, 8:38 PM
;330; Sorry to double post, but the next chapters coming along slowly b , so I'm giving a long distance preview.

The desert sands whipped around the trio. Nylf was overjoyed, he was home. He immediatly buzzed over to the local Trapinch colony. Drake was overjoyed as well. The searing heat and vicious wind were like a soothing breeze to him. He and his grandfather had spent many an afternoon just relaxing here. It held the fondest memeories of his childhood. Which helped him overcome the deep melancoly he had been suffering for a while.

Tac had his arm around Suila, who seemed surprisingly colder than usual. Her Marshtomp seemed happy to be in the desert, as did Tac's Metang and Camerupt. Drake's gut plummeted. He hated seeing Tac and Suila together. But what his grandpa had said, and about the way Suila seemed to be less warm to Tac than she had been assissted him in the task of keeping a straight face.

It's jumping ahead a bit, but I think this is too good a preview to not show.

Felix Feral Fezirix
12th September 2005, 11:37 PM
That was a big spoiler. Very big one.

Prologue
It's a bit too short aand I think you learned how most people get their grammar right in their fic. Hehehe. Well you managed to show why Trapinch is so afraid of Ice Beams.

Chapter 1
Some jokes here! Yippee!
Okay... The one about the bed was funny. Innocent people are unable to understand it....The Anorith one was slightly funny. Overall an okay chapter.

GoldenHouou
13th September 2005, 12:09 AM
I like this fic, and I´m glad to see the improvement from the prologue. You did as the other people suggested. ^_^

There were few grammar errors, but nothing serious. The lenght of the chapter was good too.
I hope you continue it soon.

The PikaMew Fanatic
13th September 2005, 2:35 AM
Poor Flygon! -sobs for Trapinch's loss-
It was funny when the skateboard got crunched though. ^___^
Very good fic.

Nylf
13th September 2005, 9:18 PM
FTMP: The underwear joke was in chapter two. Next chapter soon, I hope. God, wherever you are, get rid of my WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!
GH:Wow, that get the word out thread works. Thanks. Um, I'm unused to new reviewers, so nice to have you here. And thanks, I love to laugh, so I put jokes in fics. My favourite things are epic jurneys filled with romance and laughter.
DD35d: Thanks, and Trapinch isn't the only traumitised Pokemon in this fic. All my(I mean Drake's)Pokemon have a story. Heartbreak, taunting, traumitisation, crushed hope and a poor past. Torchic's past I hope will turn up in the next chapter.

GoldenHouou
13th September 2005, 9:22 PM
I like fics with jokes and funny things too. ^_^ Yeah, I´m a new rewiewer, but I try to rewiew as good as I can. And I think I will be in the fanfiction section more often now. Oh, but man, I´m getting off topic.

I´m looking forward to see the other pokemon´s stories as well. Hmm, and I also wonder what the other pokemons are. I bet at least a Tropius and a Bagon.

Nylf
13th September 2005, 9:28 PM
;330; They're both gonna be in it, but that doesn't mean they are going to be Drake's.....

GoldenHouou
13th September 2005, 9:30 PM
Well yeah, I suppose Drake has the same pokemons that are in the trainer card in your sig. ^_^

Nylf
24th September 2005, 4:48 PM
He did, then RazorLeaf killed it. Oh well, I've done a decent recovery(I got back my awesome AAML banner, it rules. You can see the Ho-oh) Anyway, NEW CHAPTER!!

Double Trouble

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The matter of one’s birth are irrelevant, it is what one does with the gift of life that determines who you are," Mewtwo, Pokemon the Movie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suila and Drake were relaxing on the coast of Route 104. She was soaking her feet in the crystal clear sea water while her Pokemon played around, and Drake was helping his Trapinch perfect his Sand Tomb attack. The sun was covered by clouds, and the pair were glad of the rest from their journey.

“How’s the training going Drake?” Suila said, as she turned her head to look over towards her travelling partner, her carefree smile beaming as usual.

“Just finished, Nylf can now use Sand Tomb!” Drake answered, brushing sand off of his green hoody.

“Nylf?” She questioned.

“Trapinch’s nickname. I’m calling Torchic Zel!” Suila shrugged at his reply. She wasn’t one for nicknaming Pokemon, but it wasn’t up to her what Drake did. Then there was a ringing from her bag. She rooted around and pulled out a small blue device with four black buttons and an orange scanner. Her personalised Poke’nav.

“Who’s calling you Suila?” Drake asked, shaking more sand out of his hair.

“Oh my gosh it’s Tac!” she squealed.

“OK, let’s say I don’t know who Tac is, who is he?” Drake inquired.

“My boyfriend!” Suila yelled in an excited tone. Drake’s heart sank. He’d known Suila for about a week now, and he’d grown really fond of her, But, it wasn’t like he hadn’t gone through this before. Nearly every girl he’d ever liked had already had a boyfriend before he had had a chance to ask them out. So he immediately decided to do what he always did. He shrugged, went

“That’s nice,”

And went on with his life. Suila didn’t notice, she was already deep in conversation,

“I’m at route 104 sweetie, oh that’s great, I can’t believe how quickly you’ve got your first badge, how’s Bagon?….”

“Life is just a bed of ****** roses,” Drake muttered as he fell asleep in the midday sun.

Later that day, after a raging, ok really easy, battle with a rich trainer, Drake and Suila were in Petalburg Woods. Other than a few beams of light that broke through the thick canopy of deciduous trees, it was dark. Suila was clutching Drake’s arm tightly, and Drake was muttering

“She’s got a boyfriend, she’s got a boyfriend,” under his breath.

Drake then heard a loud shout, then another, then a full on argument. He ran off to investigate, Suila close behind. If Drake had known exactly what was in front of him, he might not have laughed so hard, but he didn’t and he did. In front of him, a woman in tight jeans, a striped top and a blue bandana with orange hair was in a fight with a man in a red, horned hood and brown trousers. A black haired man in a business suit with a wet patch on his trousers and a sweat drop was also staring on, looking absolutely terrified.

“Hey mister, what’s going on?” Suila asked quite calmly.

“Well the man in the red shirt was trying to steal my briefcase, when the woman turned up and said she wanted to steal it as well, and then they both started arguing over something I have no clue about, then this” he answered, pointing towards the writhing mass on the leafy green forest floor. Frequent swearwords and insults were heard, but Drake only laughed harder. Eventually, Drake regained his composure, and then politely asked

“Could you bozos kindly move your asses so we can get through?”

“Did you just call me..” the man said angrily, but before he could have finished, the woman cut in,

“,,A bozo!?” You could see the vein throbbing in their foreheads. They were angry. Drake and Suila immediately drew Mudkip and Zel’s poke balls, foreseeing a fight.

“Go Poochyena!” the man and woman both yelled, as they threw two poke balls.

“Go Zel !” Drake yelled,

“Go Mudkip!” exclaimed Suila.

Two small grey dogs appeared in front of the man and woman. They both had the same stance, leering down Zel and Mudkip, their small white fangs gleaming.

“Poochyena, use Tackle!” The woman commanded, as her dog ran forwards and rammed right into the little red Zel, knocking him out the way and leaving him apparently unconscious.

“Now Poochyena, use Bite on the punk with the green hair!” the man sneered, as his dog then leapt at the now defenceless Drake, mouth open and prepared to sink it’s fangs into Drake.

“Mudkip, use Water Gun!” Suila ordered, as her Mudkip shot a sniper-accurate blast of water at he Poochyena, right before it finished it’s attack.

“Thank Sui!” Drake called out, while Suila simply winked and said

“Partners have to look out for each other” Drake smiled, as the woman’s Poochyena suddenly turned and prepared to attack Mudkip. Drake knew what he had to do. He only hoped Zel was ready…

Meanwhile, while the rest of the battle had been going on, Zel had actually been deep in thought…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why do I suck so bad? All the other Torchic were right, I am good for nothing. I could never win. That’s why my previous trainer abandoned me. I wish I had never been found by Birch. Back when I was with my mom, everything had been great.

She always said I was destined for great things. She was a great Blaziken. Her trainer cared about her like a sister. Those two were inseparable. Then when she had me, her trainer looked after me like I was her own. But then, Prof. Birch came. He had heard about my mom’s talent, and wondered if he could take a few of her offspring to give to new trainers. She let me go because she knew I would do better with a trainer who would raise me in real battle situations on my level, not just let me watch, like mom’s trainer. I agreed and went willingly.

When I got there it was horrible. All the other Torchic’s were bullies. They treated me like dirt, and always forced me out the way whenever a trainer came. In the end, when they were all taken as well as the Mudkips and Treeckos, small green lizards with a large leafy tail, a trainer arrived. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t my fault he abandoned m. He was a spoiled brat who only picked me because I was all there was. Back then it didn’t bother me. I was just happy to have a trainer. But my happiness faded quickly once we left.

I was having trouble meeting his expectations. I had inherited Rock Slide and Smelling Salt from my dad, but this kid expected me to use moves like Ember and Flamethrower, and never once bothered to check my actual moves. I lost often, and the one time I almost won, he caught the Pokemon. That was the last battle I was in with that brat. He threw me away once he had caught that stupid Treecko, and I wandered back to Professor Birch’s.

He healed me, had the brat banned from legal battles for a year, then gave me to Drake for his birthday. To be honest, after what I had gone through, I wasn’t thrilled.

But a year passed, and I grew to trust Drake. He looked a lot like my previous trainer, but he was nice. Nylf was cool as well, and so was his mom. Whenever I saw Nylf and his mom together, I missed my mom. But I’m okay now. Mom’s settled into a nice retirement, and she now enjoys her days at her trainers new Breeding Centre, serving as a foster mom for orphans. Like Nylf. That day Nylf was orphaned really made me appreciate Drake. The whole time, Drake helped Nylf. It made me want to prove myself to him. And I will. Drake needs me now. I must help him!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drake sensed that Zel’s emotions had peaked. It was time to use the secret technique his grandpa had taught him before he had left. If he was ever going to use it on Zel, now was the time. He channelled all his emotions into Zel, and felt Zel channelling all of his emotions into him. Zel immediately got up, then burst into flames. Out of the flames, emerged two long yellow arms with three claws, a pair of strong red legs, a well built red and yellow body, a short red tail and a proud yellow head, with a red beak, three red feathers forming a crest on it’s head and a pair of orangey red eyes, glaring right into the Poochyena causing it to halt it’s Tackle attack.

<“ Yo doggy, your *** doth now be mine!”> the Combusken yelled.

Drake grinned. He had managed to use the spirit link again. It allowed a Pokemon to both increase in strength and, if timed right, evolve early. It also linked Zel’s soul with all those he called allies, and in the future would automatically do the same. This meant all those who were linked to Zel would now be able to understand him, human or Pokemon. Drake had already spirit linked with Nylf, way back when Nylf’s mother had died, to both help comfort the Trapinch, and to learn how to use the technique in the first place. The link had strengthened Nylf, but it was way to early to trigger early evolution.

“Hey Drake, am I hearing things, or did Zel just talk!?” Suila exclaimed in shock. The man and woman hadn’t understood the chicken, since the link had not affected them, so they just thought Suila had gone crazy.

“Long story, I’ll explain later, but in the meantime, Zel use Quick attack!” Drake ordered, as Zel disappeared and reappeared behind the small grey dog, before administering an immense kick, sending the dog flying into a large oak, KO’ing it instantly.

“You’d better, now Mudkip, use Stomp!” Suila commanded, as Mudkip jumped in the air, it’s forelegs glowing white, before slamming on top of the Poochyena, crushing it against the floor, KO’ing it as well. The businessman just stared on in awe, his trousers wetter than before.

“Grr, we’ll be back punks!” the hooded man yelled angrily, as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“You’re father will hear of this Suila!” the woman angrily yelled, as she disappeared in a flash of light. Drake and Suila were about to move somewhere more private to discuss the recent revelations, when the hooded man’s voice yelled out, seemingly from nowhere

“You got lucky kiddies, but I doubt you’ll be so lucky in Rustboro!”

“Well that wasn’t so hard,” Suila smirked.

“Wow, I have never seen such an amazing battle(‘You should get out of the office more’ Drake thought). Thanks, your quite the couple(Both Suila and Drake blushed and tried to make it clear they weren’t a couple). Have these as a reward. If those crooks are going to Rustboro, I’ve got to stop them. I’ll see you around.” The man said. Handing the m both a green and white poke ball, before running of.

“Great, Great balls, some reward. And he really thinks he can stop them?” Drake said moodily.

“Yeah, you have a point. And what was that thing you did which allowed you Zel to evolve and us to understand him?” Suila questioned, a smug look on her face.

“Well it’s hard to explain, but technically I shouldn’t tell you, but I think gramps won’t mind. It’s called a spirit link, When both your emotions and your Pokemon’s emotions peak, you can exchange a piece of your soul with them. The piece of your Pokemon’s soul will merge with your soul, and vice versa. It’s a secret technique that only the Dragonheart family has mastered. A lot of trainers do it without realising, but if they don’t realise they lose some of the advantages. If you master it, you can decide when it happens, and this already gives you an advantage, since spirit linking increases your Pokemon’s strength to an amazingly high level. The other advantages include early evolution, but that only happens if timed right, and the ability for all those the Pokemon considers allies to understand it, Pokemon or human. The last one is automatic, so if we have anymore people join our travelling group, they’ll understand Zel and Nylf as well. There is one other thing, but it can be classed as an advantage or disadvantage, depending how you see it. Once you spirit link with a Pokemon, if you abandon or deposit it, terrible consequences will occur. You can release them, but only if it is what you both want. This means if you spirit link, you must have complete trust in your Pokemon, and it must have complete trust in you. That is why it’s useful to master the technique, so you don’t link with a Pokemon you may consider abandoning or depositing against it’s will.”

“Woh, who knew,” Suila went, in awe.

“My family, anyway, now I have a question. How did that woman know you’re name, and did she mean ‘You’re father will hear of this!’,” Suila looked down at the floor, her smile fading instantaneously,

“I was hoping you didn’t hear that,” she mumbled in a much sadder tone than usual, “Well, since you heard I can’t deny it. That woman was one of my fathers grunts. My dad’s Archie, the leader of Team Aqua,” at this, an immense anger rose up inside Drake. Team Aqua were the monsters who had killed Nylf’s mother, and her father had been the one to mercilessly order it.

“Please, don’t hate me Drake, I have never agreed with what my father’s been doing. Please, other than Tac and my mom, you’re the only one who has ever cared about me!” Suila was crying, her makeup smeared by the salty tears running down her face. The anger inside Drake died down. He hated Archie for what he had done to Nylf and Nylf’s mother, but he cared so much for Suila right now. He didn’t know what to do. Seeing her crying like this, he knew she was nothing like her father. He moved closer to Suila, and wrapped his arms around her to help comfort her. Even though she was crying, she still felt warm against his chest. As he gently rubbed her hair, he quietly said,

“Don’t worry Sui, I’ll always be here for you. We’ve only known each other for a week, but you’re the best friend I’ve ever had who wasn’t family or a Pokemon. You’re nothing like Archie. He’s an evil man who would do anything to get what he wants, but you’re ,well, you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
They were both looking directly into each other’s eyes, and Drake carefully wiped away Suila’s tears, then broke their embrace before they both did something they would regret. He slowly headed down the forest path, and beckoned Suila to catch up. She sniffed, smiled, and ran after him. Drake was smiling as well, but only on the outside. Inside, he was kicking himself. He had grown so close to Suila in such a short period of time, but he knew this meant nothing. She was going out with Tac, and that meant he and she would never be more than friends. Once Suila caught up, he patted her on the shoulder, and said reassuringly,

“Don’t worry about your family Suila, my granddad has a saying, ‘The matter of one’s birth is irrelevant, it is what one does with the gift of life that determines who you are ’,” Suila smiled at this, and hugged Drake tightly.

Well, maybe not never……

The PikaMew Fanatic
24th September 2005, 6:02 PM
Yay! First replier! Good plot and an unexpected twist with Archie. 4 stars.

Nylf
24th September 2005, 6:43 PM
Only four? Oh well, it's more good than bad. I would like to know what people think of the moment between Drake and Suila, and Zel's past mostly, D and S because it's my first actual attempt at a romantic scene, even though almost all my fics involve a little romance, and I need to know if it's good or bad. Zel because, well I'm trying to give all of Drake's Pokemon epic pasts. His confirmed team is:

Flygon
Blaziken
Manectric
Tropius
Volbeat
Wailord

If you we're reading this earlier, you would've seen the trianer card confirming this, but my sig got killed. Anyway, let your minds try and work out all of Drake's team's stories. You know Nylf's and Zel's. all I can tell you is that they are epic! I could write one shots on each Pokemon.

Felix Feral Fezirix
24th September 2005, 7:28 PM
;025; Well that was fine. It's quite good. but there's still room for improvement. And nice one with Archie. Didn't see that coming.

[/;025;]

And you missed out a few things like here:


Eventually, Drake regained his composure, and then politely asked

“Could you bozos kindly move your asses so we can get through?”

It should be in a entirely new paragraph by itself.

;025; And I ain't though with you yet! What's the meaning of this:


<“ Yo doggy, your *** doth now be mine!”> the Combusken yelled.

It should be <Yo doggy, yo *** doth now be mine!>

And that is not 1337 enough compared to my "stfu d00d, you r teh suk j00 *** is mine you are about to experience severe pwnage get ready to kiss the moon" *Is thrown out of post*

[/;025;]

Or something like Felix said.

WaterTrainer243
24th September 2005, 7:42 PM
I wish I could ask if it was alright to submit my character, but I'll refrain from that. So I'll just say keep it up.

Nylf
24th September 2005, 7:49 PM
If you want to submit trainers you can. All gens, even 4th and my fakemon(You'll have to read NL, NH to see the dex of my fakemon). And thanks FTMP. But here's Nylf's saying as a Trapinch:

"Give it up for da black bug!"(not racist)
Then Vibrava:
"Kick you *zz I will!"
Flygon
"Listen, just forfeit and save us both the energy of wupping your ***"
Rayquaza(you heard me)
"Don't blame me for this, you made him pull out the Black Emerald. Now, just turn around and bend over, it will make kicking your *** so much easier and quicker"

Felix Feral Fezirix
24th September 2005, 9:05 PM
Lol S.F You already put my trainer down in your list somewhere but I don't think I'll be using your fakemon for Rinoa ('^_^) Sorry but I already set her team. And no matter what you say Felix always has a better phrase...

;025; Like "I got a fist in j00 mouth and a foot up j00 *** already, what else do you have to say?"

Nylf
24th September 2005, 9:14 PM
So far Rinoa's only a cameo way at the end. Since it's already spoiled in "The Final Link" One-shot now reciding in completed fics, I'll say exactly waht I did. Ages in the future, the gang are taken to a place called the Cave of Destiny, by some events I won't mention owing to spoilers. This place is a secret of the legendaries, and it possesses Celebi's ability to remind you of the best moments of your life. Engraved in it's walls are a record of people and pokemon who are/were destined for greatness, and what they do. I have read a lot of fics, and the main heroes of most the fics I've read are mentioned. So far the list is:

Rinoa(Felix The Mutant pikachu)
Keiko(Hidden Mew)
Kyle(Kyle of Pallet)
Kionna(Snoring Frog)
Kai(Lone_Wolf816)
Sieg/Rick(Shiny Flygon, or mine!)

And when the actual chapter cames, in maybe over a year's time, there will be more.

The PikaMew Fanatic
24th September 2005, 11:11 PM
Do you think I could also be a character in your fic plz? Call me Taylor. Thnx ^__^

lone_wolf816
24th September 2005, 11:13 PM
This was a good chapter! Plot: great! Characters: Good! Spelling: Minor problems. I'm glad I'm on th list of heroes^_^ I also liked how the guy peed hiis pants!

;197;- Lone Wolf

Zerodius
24th September 2005, 11:13 PM
Another short review... reviews aren't my forte.

Anyway, here comes my review:

Altought some Pokemon (*COUH*Lotad*COUGH!*) seems to have as much personality as rocks and that the Team Aqua Grunts suffered from a lack of personality as well, the fact still is that the main characters are interesting and that the main plot seems quite decent.

Well... that's all!

Have a nice day.

Nylf
25th September 2005, 12:12 PM
OK then DD35d, what did you do? I should mention what each hero/ine did:

Rinoa(Save World)
Keiko(Save World)
Kyle(Save World)
Kionna(Hmm... I believe it is save all Absols)
Kai(Save Johto, and more than likely the whole world)
Sieg(Save the entire world twice from being conquered by...I'm not telling)

That's the hero/ine list. If you want to be a character in the fic you must submit a name, team, personalty and description. And it helps to submit a max team. And the Shiny Flygon space has been taken up on a team(by Lone_Wolf816, don't ask about Nylf, there's too many spoilers involved, but both Drake's Nylf and Lone_Wolf816's Spirit are Shiny Flygons)

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th September 2005, 5:51 PM
I would like to be Archie's or Maxie's right hand man. Prefferably Maxie. Kay? Thnx.

Nylf
25th September 2005, 6:58 PM
Fine, BUT WHAT'S YOUR TEAM!? I can't put you in IF YOU DON'T HAVE A TEAM OF POKEMON! The only reason the others are in is because they're just names on a wall. And Lone_Wolf816 is in is because he PM'd me a team. I can't make a character like Maxie's right han man without a team. The Pokemon restricted are:
Most Pokemon you can't get on Emerald(Two will appear, but they are Suila's and the third character's, and that's because of Drake Sr.)
Legendaries.
I will allow some of the following Pokemon who aren't in Emerald:
Larvitar & evos.
Eevee & evos.
NidoranF & evos.
NidoranM & evos.
Mantine
That's it. All ones other than legendaries, Pokemon you can't get in Emerald other than the 15 mentioned above, Shiny Flygon and Shiny Salamence.

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th September 2005, 7:23 PM
Sorry bout that. How about Blaziken, Tyranitar, Swampert, Camerupt, Metagross, and Gyarados. Thnx. Again, sorry.

Nylf
25th September 2005, 7:27 PM
Lose Gyarados and Swampert, they don't suit a Magma admin, A better team would be:
Tyranitar
Metagross
Blaziken
Camerupt
Mightyena
Crobat

I mean, your an ADMIN FOR MAGMA! you wouldn't use water pokemon.

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th September 2005, 8:40 PM
Good point. Yeah, I think I'll use Crobat and Mighteyena. Sorry for the trouble that I'm givin ya.

Nylf
25th September 2005, 8:47 PM
I'm in a good mood, so I'll let you off. Next chapter may not be written for a long time, since I have three other fics to look after, plus coursework and homework.

The PikaMew Fanatic
25th September 2005, 10:30 PM
Works for me. ^__^

GoldenHouou
25th September 2005, 10:52 PM
This chapter was good, but I don´t really like Pokémon evolving too soon. It somehow makes the battles too easy and such.

But anyway, I liked it, and I saw only few spelling mistakes. Nothing serious.

So you are accepting characters? You have guite a lot there, but if you need one more, I would want to submit one.

Nylf
27th September 2005, 9:17 PM
I have only two, so sure. Just don't expect a regular spot. Lone_Wolf816 is Suila's rival, Drake and the third partner are rivals, so I don't need anymore in that department, and DD35d is a Magma Admin, but overall it will depend on your character and their Pokemon. On another note, my Starter has usually evolved by then, so I didn't see a problem, and chapter 4 or 5 is going to be the gym chapter, and I am going by my level regime to the gyms, so to clearify, here it is:

Gym1: Lv16
Gym2: Lv20
Gym3: Lv25
Gym4: Lv30
Gym5: Lv33
Gym6: Lv36
Gym7: Lv42
Gym8: Lv50
League: Level60

So that's why there was an evolution. And I really would prefer to know what you think of the scene between Suila and Drake after the battle.

GoldenHouou
27th September 2005, 9:40 PM
Well like I have said before, I´m not too into romantic happenings and such, nor can I imagine being in either of their position.

But I still liked it, not as much as battle parts of the fic, but still, its good to know that people have something to think about. Their relationship turning into more than just friendship and such. And few of the things seemed what someone would say in real life if found in a same kind of situation. But forgiving instantly, and trusting in her again that easily, well, I´m not sure could anyone be fully trusting in that place, with no doubt in their minds at all. Of course there might be some, you didn´t tell us yet, so maybe I´m going ahead of things. ^_^;

And about the levels of your Pokémon, I know that you can have Combusken in that point, but that makes the game pretty easy. I hope that the gym battle won´t be axactly same as in your game though, because it would be a too easy victory.

And no, I weren´t planning to make a rival or anything, I had different character in mind. Should I PM it to you or post it here? And erm, what do I need to tell about him/her. I guess at least name, Pokémons, personality and appearence, correct?

Anyway, I hope you do keep up with this fic, and that you read mine when you have the time. I assure you I will keep reading, as long as you keep writing. ;D

Nylf
27th September 2005, 9:44 PM
PM, and Drake wasn't forgiving her. He thought about it. He knew what Suila was like, and he knew what Archie was like, and he had long been taught the saying of Mewtwo's. He hasn't forgiven Archie, he's just convinced himelf that Suila is nothing like her father. Although there will be unrest....(I mean, it's not the sort of thing you forget is it?)

GoldenHouou
27th September 2005, 10:30 PM
That´s exatly what I mean. You couldn´t just forget that and live on. So I was ging ahead of things then. I´ll wait to see what you have planned. I´ll PM the character to you soon. I assume you don´t need it right away, am I right?

WaterTrainer243
28th September 2005, 3:03 AM
^Uh dude...please put normal text and the title is just fine by me.

Nylf
30th September 2005, 8:37 PM
Chary888, don't advertise in my fics. Never enter my fics again, unless you are actually giving a proper rating, not flaming or advertising something that has nothing to do with fanfics.

Water Trainer, thanks.

GoldenHo-oh, yeah, there's no rush on trainers, so PM me whenever.

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st October 2005, 1:48 AM
What...the...heck...you do not(censored) advertise in someone's fic!

S.F...I think I should send you my team via PM soon. You left me dafuggout...

WaterTrainer243
1st October 2005, 2:54 AM
I've already reported his post, hope the mods take this into account.

Nylf
1st October 2005, 11:48 AM
Err, Dafuggout? Translation if it's not a problem.

Felix Feral Fezirix
2nd October 2005, 2:04 AM
It's not spam! And it's another one of my little tricks again anyway. Watertrainer you just pretty much got me in trouble... Translation: the (censored) out. It's not very harmful is it.... If you still don't get it read it aloud.

S.F, I was just wondering if I should PM the team or post it right here. Lol

WaterTrainer243
2nd October 2005, 2:18 AM
I reported the other guy not you Felix.

Nylf
2nd October 2005, 12:51 PM
OK from now on just PM me the teams, that applies to everyone from this point onwards.

xXSaberXx
13th October 2005, 8:17 AM
LOLZ.

>DDD

Alright, lemme just lay this out nice and simple. Pros and Cons. Gotta love em.



PROS:

-Characters

The Characters, (Namely Drake and Suila) are very pleasing, in a down to earth, human-y kind of way. Very refreshing. However, things are moving quite fast between them, and if you don't slow it down a tad, you could end up losing the nice bond they have.

-Plot

Namely, the Lotad one. xD Hilarious! Newest chapter was good as well, jsut A LOT of fluff. xP Really early too. O_o Never rush! I know it may seem like YOU HAFTA do it this moment cause you feel like writing something, DON'T. Listen to you're mind, not your heart. It may fuddle things up a bit.


-Pokemon

While the pokemon themselves have little development, the interesting choices of starters and beyond is nice to see.



CONS

-Format

It is, in entirety, kind of hard to read. Try using Tab, A LOT. It helps. Whenever someone is speaking, make a new paragraph, no matter how short the one before it. It will help, trust me.

-Description


You have some very good bits of description here, but the get lost in the dialouge and mushed up paragraphs. Try expanding more on your description, such as when you describe a city, give maybe the buildings desc and a fountain and the sounds and smells and feel of it. Anything you can add, add it.

-Speed

Overall, this fic is going by, VERY FAST. Even though you have it all technically planned and only three epi's out so far, there is a lot you still need to do and are rushing. DON'T RUSH. DON'T BE HASTY OR GIVE OUT ENOURMUS SPOILERS. EVER.

It helps to have a trick or two up your sleeve to keep readers coming back.



Well, that's it for now. Keep up the good work! I plan to see improvements on your part. ^^ This fic has 00ber potential. Use it to your advantage.


PS. Awesome fluff. xP


Toodles!

Saber

Nylf
13th October 2005, 9:16 PM
Thanks, and I can see the cons. I just wanted to get Suila's past out. Fluff dies down a little now, but there are moments. And of course, Drake hasn't the best history with Archie, so that will be used. And I'm improving more each chapter.(I may just apply that town description in my latest AAML chapter. It's hard venting all the fluff screaming to get out, and only having one certain gateway)

Ice_Scyther
14th October 2005, 3:15 AM
Wow, this is pretty good. I would have never expected for Suila to be Archie's daughter. Wow. Oh yeah, I'm pming you my chracter stuff.

-I.S. ;123;

Nylf
23rd October 2005, 9:42 PM
Sorry I'm late in answering, I've been busy. Thanks, and really, it was that unpredictable? I guess it must be, conseidering how she is. Umm, deleted most character stuff by accident, so if you submitted one, re-PM me it. For those who read my AAML, a week more, tops! And to the readers of this, Merry Christmas!(By which I mean, it'll see you then more than likely. Unless I manage three chapters in a fortnight.)

Ledian_X
1st November 2005, 10:27 PM
Wow. This is a great Trainer fic with loads of twists and turns. Some of which I didn't expect from the death of Flygon to the reveal. I hope you write more of this story because it's really good. I give this 9/10.

Grammar's good but sometimes it's easier to space out the quotes when people talk. like this:

"Hey Frank."

"Hi, Jane."

The descriptions are excellent and I like that it's not your typical trainer fic.

TwilightFacade
2nd November 2005, 2:43 AM
Wow, great story so far. Never saw the suila-archie relationship coming. Try not to give so many spoilers. Other than that the plot and characters both get a 9.5/10 in my opinion.

Nylf
5th November 2005, 9:34 PM
Well you'll be pleased to know it keeps up. The final twist will blow your minds out your ears, though you have to be patient. Next chapter is a mental work in progress, though all I can promise is Lotad develops a personality and we learn more about Mudkip's past. Also, Nylf starts to become more of a character. The only spoiler I can give now is:

"Okay Nylf,"

<"Nylf Schwarz Draconis the first, if you please,">

"Whatever, what do you think the odds are of Suila breaking up with Tac before this journey is over?"

<"Hmm, knowing your average teen, it's high, but you and Suila aren't your average teen. So good luck, I'm rooting for you. I haven't seen you this crazy about one girl in years! And shouldn't you be more focused on your Gym Battle?">

"No, Zel's doing fine,"

"And the winner is ZEL!" the announcer cried,

"What did I tell you?"

<"I hate it when you do that,">

That's all I got. Expect a summary when I'm closer to completion.

Ice_Scyther
19th November 2005, 10:11 PM
Dang! WHEN WILL THE NEXT CHAPTER BE UP!!!!!!
*twitches continously*

-I.S. ;212; <-The scyther at the end pf my posts has evolved. Fear it!

Nylf
20th November 2005, 6:48 PM
I'm having trouble getting time to write, but I finally have it roughly down, so here's a summary:

A Rocky Start!
Drake and Suila finally reach Rustboro. The Pokemon have decided that they are going to do whatever they can to get those two together, but they going to keep it quiet. Though by Pokemon I mean Nylf. And by quiet, I mean only tell Drake if it's hard to hide. Suila learns to soul link, and we learn the relatively unspectacular past of Mudkip and the weird past of Lotad. They take on Roxanne, recently graduated Gym Leader of Rustboro, and Aqua attack again! Nylf causes chaos when he decideds Suila's undies make a great hat. That and much more, next time in Emerald Lands, A Legend Reborn!

I'm evil for doing that. Hate me!

The PikaMew Fanatic
20th November 2005, 7:57 PM
Undies as a hat!!! -dies of laughter- I just got to see this! Seriously though, can't wait for the next chap.

Felix Feral Fezirix
21st November 2005, 4:25 AM
S.F. You really need a psychiatrist. Nylf using undies as a hat is way weird. Suila is going to kill him with Ice Beam. Never mind.

Ice_Scyther
28th November 2005, 1:26 AM
Must You Torture Us With These Summaries?????????

-i.s. ;212;

Saffire Persian
13th December 2005, 5:14 AM
Probably about time I reviewed again.. after all the reviews you gave me with nothing in return.. XD I hope you don't take offense with my comments... I only mean it to help!


At Littleroot Town, a girl who had blue hair tied back in a ponytail, and who was wearing a form fitting aqua-blue shirt and a turquoise mini skirt walked into a large white building.

Mini-skirt is hyphenated, I believe... And the "String" of description here(the bolded part) I found a bit choppy. Naturally, description _is_ good. However, making it into a stringy short of sentence.. no. Often, describing a character outright in one paragraph dump isn't always super effective.. sometimes it can be called for, yes, but oftentimes it's better just to sneak in bits of description in sentences here and t here.. (after all, us readers often form a mental picture of a character ourselves.. whether or not it fits your description exactly.)




She felt really out of place, but she also really wanted that Mudkip…..

Why does she feel out of place? I assume she's in a Pokemon Lab at this point (I'm reviewing as I read). And if she knew where she was going, you could have stated it in the paragraph before.. more concrete language means better imagery.

For example: Animal ---> Dog ---> Black and white dog ---> Dalmatian.

Though black and white dog is just fine and dandy - like your "White building", wouldn't you say Dalmatian gives us a better picture of what the dog is?



Meanwhile, a boy in a green hoody, with green hair, a yellow T-shirt and black track-suit bottoms

More of that stringy description I told ya about! Egadz


“Dad, why do I have to start at Littleroot? I would have been better starting at Lavaridge, it’s way nearer to home” Drake asked in a whiny tone, “I would like to let you, but your Torchic and Trapinch are at a very low level, so you’re better off starting in Littleroot, and following the same journey route as most trainers. Anyway, you need to collect something from your Uncle Birch.”

Interesting idea. He could have started in Lavaridge, but was made to come to Littleroot because of the lower levels. I like it.


“Birch!?!” Drake thought to himself, “Last thing he gave me was Torchic, and that was three years ago. Wonder what it will be this time?”
“Okay, we’re here Drake, I’ll see you after you get your third Gym Badge.” said his father, as his Tropius landed and Drake dismounted. “Bye Dad, I’ll see you soon!” [quote]

This is all bunched together. Start a new paragraph when beginning a new idea/dialogue, whatever.. easier on the eyes, yes.

[quote]Back at Birches Lab, the girl from earlier has finally met with Professor Birch.

Eh.. tense change.. Keep it one tense, unless there's some consistancy in it.. which at this point doesn't have any.


’Whynaut!’” and Drake then proceeded to doze off.

Interesting sense of humor. XD


“Yes!! I finally got a Mudkip” she thought to herself, but somehow Birch knew what was going through her head. “Well here’s it Pokeball, take good care of it”.
“I will!” she replied happily.

This seems to be.. eh.. sterotypical dialogue.. nothing to distinguish it... more personality would be great.. actions.. anything!



“Yawwwwwwn, yeah, why?”

Though I can't stop you, I prefer you leave "Yawwn..Sigh..gasp" stuff out of dialogue.. use it in narrative. Drake yawned widely. "Yeah, why?"


“My name is Suila Tsunami, nice to meet you, now go Mudkip!” Mudkip and Trapinch both appeared in front of their respective trainers.
“Mudkip, Tackle!” Suila commanded, as the blue fish charged headlong at the black bug.

XD... More description.. and all that "lets suddenly battleness..."... And the dialogue.. Don't follow the games :D.. They have static dialogue.


“No, my skateboard! Your Trapinch broke my skateboard

Bike.. skateboard.... .. familiarity here. I could so see breaking though.. found it amusing.

'Till next time.

Nylf
14th December 2005, 8:18 PM
Thanks SP, though I think I might've fixd some of those complaints in the chapter afterwards. Can't remember though I'm reasonably sure I fixed the description thing, or at least stopped using it as much and the next one had some comedy. On a side note, I have finally begun actually WRITING the next chapter. I've only done the first, and probably craziest bit, but expect the next chapter around Christmas, aka a week on Sunday my end.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas(I'm a very Christmassy person, the moment it hit's the 13th of December I always say this when given the chance)

katiekitten
15th December 2005, 2:22 PM
As you have been reading my fic, I thought it would only be fair to read yours. :) Sorry for not reading sooner...

This is pretty good so far! Good description, interesting plot. The Archie-Suilas' dad thing was a bit of a surpirse, well done.
The romance scene? Well done. It came out very well, it correctly portrade Drakes feelings for her, and his restraint. Better than I could have done. (I am no good at romance)

All in all, pretty good! *thumbs up*

Nylf
15th December 2005, 10:30 PM
Thanks KK, and sorry I'm late on reviews, I'm busy at the moment(christmas, school stuff, managing a dismal love life which I won't go into, trying to keep my dignity at above none, running Metamorphic Battles, actually fully working out MB's plot, making a new Yu-Gi-Oh RPG etc.) but I will catch up.

The PikaMew Fanatic
16th December 2005, 12:30 AM
Thanks KK, and sorry I'm late on reviews, I'm busy at the moment(christmas, school stuff, managing a dismal love life which I won't go into, trying to keep my dignity at above none, running Metamorphic Battles, actually fully working out MB's plot, making a new Yu-Gi-Oh RPG etc.) but I will catch up.
Woah, looks like you've got your hands full.

Ice_Scyther
24th December 2005, 8:42 PM
Need...Next...chapter...*twitches* Undies! as a hat! Heehee!

-I.S. ;212;

Nylf
24th December 2005, 8:48 PM
Listen, just be patient. It should, hopefully be done next week. I've got as far as the Gym. All I can say is:
1/ I've fixed Lotad
2/ Nylf is finally what I wanted him to be.
3/ Merry Christmas and be patient.

I make no promises on next week though, FTMP needs to pf it once I'm done. And SP I checked the other chapters, and the description thing, well it improves by a smigin. I think I fixed it in the one I'm writing though.

Flame Man
24th December 2005, 9:28 PM
Lol! I practically died of laughter when I read this. The only thing that I see that you need to work on is your grammar. Overall, 9/10.

P.s. I am gonna PM u my trainer to see if he can be in if it is alright.

Nylf
2nd January 2006, 11:38 AM
A New Year, and a new CHAPTER!
Well here it is finally, enjoy!

Chapter Four: A Rocky Start!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.”Amarant Coral, FFIX
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The golden sun dappled over the hilltops, the forest behind them gleamed with fresh morning dew and the various bird Pokemon that filled the trees let off a cheery morning chorus. It was a picturesque morning. Then Suila Maria Tsunami woke up.

“DRAKE!!”

“What? Who died?” Drake shot up from the comfortable realms of sleep.

“I can’t find my thong!”

“You’re WHAT?!”

“My thong, have you seen it?”

“Sui, it’s six ‘o’ clock in the morning. Right now all I can see is a half naked girl running around the tent,” Suila immediately turned bright crimson. It had been about a month since she and Drake had started the journey, and she still had a habit of forgetting she can’t do a lot of things she could at home when it was just her and her mother. For the blue haired water master in training there was only one course of action. She grabbed the unsuspecting sleeping Lotad and threw it at Drake, leading to the huge green lily pad that Lotad’s are famous for covering the poor boy’s face.

“If you’re not going to help, then get out of the tent! And DON’T LOOK!”

“Fine, fine” Drake replied drowsily, trying his best to navigate his way out of the tent despite the water bug currently latched to his face. The one thing that amazed Drake most about the situation was that Lotad had not only stayed perfectly calm, but in fact not even stirred in the slightest. The manoeuvring through the tent was made yet harder by the fact he had to pull his trousers on while he left.

Once out of the tent, Drake, with surprising accuracy despite the obvious handicap, sat down on a mossy rock, and began to think about the situation. Something smelt very fishy about this, and it wasn’t the water Pokemon that was still stuck to his face. Suila may not be the brightest Volbeat in the forest, but she wasn’t stupid enough to lose something like a thong. He finally removed the bug, who at last woke up and proceeded to jump into the nearby lake with what Drake could only guess was a shout of ‘Banzai!”, and then proceeded to look at all possible scenarios mentally. Who in their right mind would steal a girl’s underwear?

<“Dodedodedodedo, dodedodedo, dodedodedodedo, dodedodedo!”>

Then it hit Drake, someone who was rarely in their right mind.

“NYLF!”

<“You yelled?”> The black bug, who had been the one whistling the odd ditty which had helped Drake realise the culprit of the panty raid, popped his head out from the hole in the ground he had dug. At first there was nothing unusual, until you noticed the bizarre head piece the Trapinch had donned. An incredibly revealing sea blue thong.

“Nylf, why have you got Suila’s thong on your head?”

<“Do I have to tell you?”> The bug tilted his head sideways, trying his best to pull off a cutesy puppy dog expression. Drake wasn’t impressed, he simply raised one eyebrow and answered the question.

“No, but you’ll have to tell her. HEY SUILA, I’VE FOUND YOUR THONG!”

“WHERE!?” Suila ran out of the tent, with a turquoise towel wrapped around her lower extremities, and her standard blue sweatshirt on her top half. She looked around hastily, before noticing the shiny Trapinch standing around with her thong on his head.

“Drake, why has Nylf got my thong on his head?”

“If I knew I’d tell you,”

<“If you must know, they’re comfy!”> the bug butted in, with a huge toothy grin on his face.

<“Listen bug butt just give Suila her thong back or I’ll kick your shiny *** from here to Oore!”> Zel was grumpy from being rudely awakened by all the havoc.

“Yeah, what the chicken said!” Suila added, while Zel anime fell. He hated being called a chicken.

<“Over my shiny Trapinch ***!”> Nylf yelled. Drake sweatdropped. That was what they were planning on doing. It really did puzzle him how Nylf had become the way he was. The insane thing wasn’t a constant, but it was pretty often. He and Nylf were roughly the same age, so all Drake could put it down to was that Nylf, like most human teenagers, got mood swings. While Drake had been contemplating this, Suila had grabbed Mudkip and was now pointing him like a gun at the bug, much the same way she had threatened Drake after Nylf had eaten her skateboard.

“Now listen buggy, hand over the thong and no-one gets hurt!” she yelled, while Zel desperately tried to punch the shockingly fast Trapinch. Drake had had enough. He walked over, thwacked both his Pokemon on the head and removed Suila’s thong from Nylf’s cranium and handed it to Suila, who dropped Mudkip, resulting in the fish landing head first on a rock and ending up with a concussion much like Zel and Nylf.

“Here, now go get changed, I doubt you’ll set a good impression with the Rustboro gym leader if you turn up in a towel,” Suila blushed once again at the comment, and went back in to finish changing, leaving a concussed Zel, Nylf and Mudkip, a fed up Drake and a surprisingly amused Lotad in her wake.

Later that day, about noon to be precise, they reached Rustboro. They were in awe at the tall skyscrapers, seemingly made of glass as they had so many windows. It had been a long time since either of them had seen anything like the huge buildings. Suila sat down on the rim of the fountain, which was located near the centre of the huge city, while Drake checked his Poke’nav. He fiddled around with it, trying to find out which of the black buttons started up the blue scanner. He finally found it, and then looked over the map which had now appeared.

“Okay Suila, gym or food?” Drake asked, taking a seat on the fountains rim while calmly swatting Nylf into the water before the scheming Trapinch could pull down Suila’s skirt. Why Nylf wanted to do so defied Drake, but then prevention is better than cure.

“Food!” she happily replied. Suila apparently had remained oblivious to the attack on her dignity.

<“I hate water..”> Nylf muttered as he grumpily pulled himself out of the crystal clear liquid he had been knocked into, and followed after Drake and Suila doing his best to dry off as well. The three walked into a fancy restaurant called “Le Filleted Crawdaunt”. Nylf looked at the sign. It was made of neon, and was flashing the name and an image of filleted Crawdaunt. Nylf wasn’t one for fish, but anything was better than that rubbish he got from Poke’Marts in his opinion. Though he wouldn’t be there long enough to sample the cuisine…

The first thing about the place that caught the bugs eyes was how fancy it was. It was incredibly posh. The seats were in Sunday best. Velvet drapes hung from above the windows, golden candelabras gleamed from above his head, there was even a….. frozen Flygon? Nylf shook his head. It was just an ice sculpture. Of a swan. But then it was a Flygon again. Which got encased in ice. Then it thawed out and slumped on the floor, it’s blank, dead eyes boring through the eye covers and straight into Nylf’s mind. He collapsed on the floor, holding his head in his stumpy forelegs. He just had to remember it was a hallucination. Just a hallucination. Just his mother lying dead in front of him. A cold sweat began to trickle down the sides of his head, images of his mother’s murder, death and corpse flashing through his mind, coming and going in seconds. The pain was terrible, he started to scream and writhe in pain, every memory causing him more agony than anything a Pokemon attack could do. The mental strain finally got too much. His pupils dilated, and he collapsed to the floor, as all pain and feeling left him, his fears and emotions being gradually replaced by nothingness. His last thought was simply ‘Why me?’ Before he finally lost all consciousness and fainted.

He opened his eyes wearily. There was a weird green fuzz and a squiggly blue line in front of eyes.

<”Great, I’ve finally lost it completely,”> he thought, rubbing his eyes and realising the green fuzz and squiggly blue line were Drake and Suila staring over him, looks of worry on their faces.

“You doing okay Nylf?”

<“Of course I am, that’s why I’m lying on my back in a Pokemon Centre,”>

“I’ll take that as a yes then. What happened?”

<“I don’t want to talk about It,”> Drake noticed that Nylf seemed more serious than he had been that morning. That could only really mean one thing, but he daren’t double guess with the bug.

“If you don’t talk about it we can’t help you,” Suila said sympathetically, trying to get the Trapinch to respond.

<“You certainly can’t help me, no-one can,” he let out a deep sigh before continuing, “But if you must now, it happened again Drake,”

“I thought so, what triggered it this time?” Drake answered thoughtfully.

<“That ice sculpture in the restaurant,”>

“What are you two talking about?” Suila couldn’t stand it when people were discussing something she didn’t understand when she was standing right next to them

“Sorry, I forgot you didn’t know. I guess it’s time I filled you in on Nylf’s full story,” Nylf turned away, as Drake told her about how someone had murdered Nylf’s mother. He figured it would be best not to mention that her father was the culprit, she hated him enough as it was, and he didn’t want to consider how she’d feel if she found out her father had done something as bad as this.

“Must be rough, I can’t say I know how you feel, because I don’t. No-one should if that’s what it does to you,”

“Yeah, well Nylf hardly understands it himself,” Suila couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way she had treated Nylf, threatening him with Mudkip, sitting on him whenever he nicked her food, throwing Lotad at him on a number of occasions. He noticed that she was looking guilty, and his right mind actually started up for a change.

<“Don’t worry Suila, I’d rather you treat me like you do now than if I was special. It’s not like I’ve got the hardest life, and anyway, I won’t be insane forever, right?” He had a patronising tone, but it helped Suila stop feeling guilty anyway.

“Well now we’re all settled, I guess we’d better go to the gym, though Nylf, I’m using Zel, even if you say you’re okay I can’t risk it,”

<“Poopy,”>

It was evening when the pair set off for the gym. Mudkip and Zel were talking as Suila and Drake started planning what to do.

<Hey fish butt, bet I can beat the gym without Drake,”>

<“Yeah right bird brain, You couldn’t beat a Poochyena without evolving,”>

<“That was a one off. So are we on?”>

<“Fine, but if you lose I won’t be holding in my laughter,”>

<“Likewise,”>

“What are you two arguing about now? I can understand Zel but not Mudkip,” Suila asked, looking down on the two.

<“Nothing Suila, just a gentlemanly wager,”>

“You’re not gentle, and Mudkip isn’t even a man, she’s a Pokemon much like you,”

<“YOU’RE A GIRL?!”> Zel yelled in confusion. Mudkip simply sighed. She was beginning to dislike this chicken more and more. Suila chuckled at Zel.

“Anyway what’s this wager and how am I involved?” Drake butted in.

<“Basically, can you just leave me battle on my own?”>

“Fine, but if you start losing I’m taking over, okay?”

<“Fine, whatever, now anyway we’re here!”> As Zel had said, they were at the gym. It was huge. The door was carved out of solid rock, there were huge marble pillars and the roof had numerous slate tiles. The five were in awe. This place had a sort of aura of power about it.

“So, what type of gym do you think this is Drake?” Suila asked as drake anime fell. He got up and rubbed his head embarrassedly.

“I’m going to take a stab in the dark here and say rock,”

<“Are we going in or not?”> Zel forced in, he just wanted to fight right now. Drake and Suila nodded, and forced the front doors open. It didn’t work, but then, as Zel was about to kick the doors down, they opened on their own, with probably the eeriest creak known to man or Pokemon. Suila shuddered, and Nylf simply blinked.

“Welcome to my Gym, I am Roxanne Geode, leader here,” They were greeted with a very plain arena, just dirt, rocks, and the official borderlines. In the middle with was a girl. Her black hair was formed into two ponytails that shook as she walked over to Drake and Suila. She was in a teacher’s uniform, a pink skirt and purple blazer. Her shirt rustled in the draft filled gym, much like Suila’s skirt and Drake’s bird’s nest of hair.

“Hey, shouldn’t you have extra trainers in here?”

“They’re on a union break. Though I have to say I’m glad they’re gone, I haven’t had a challenger as handsome as you in a while,” Drake blushed, Roxanne was roughly his and Suila’s age. It’s not that he wasn’t used to it, but just like every time, he didn’t really see her as the type he’d go out with. Didn’t stop him feeling flattered. Suila had a slightly moody face on. She wasn’t sure what, but something in her was telling her to slap Roxanne. She was just worried that Drake might stop travelling with her if he got involved with a Gym leader. That was it. It had to be.

“Are we going to battle or what?” she angrily butted in.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise he was taken,”

“He isn’t, I’m just not in the mood for chatter,”

“Fine, we’ll continue this chat over dinner later,”

“He’s busy later,”

“Umm, as flattering as all this is, I would also kinda like to get on with the gym battle,” Drake, sounding very embarrassed and currently a bright shade of red, said.

“Fine, let us begin. I’ll assume you are familiar with the rules for group challenges?”

“No, enlighten me,” Drake said, his emotions returning to normal.

“Fine, it’s quite simple, each trainer of the group takes part in a one-on-one challenge, and each victor gets the badge. It’s basically a single challenge multiplied by however many are in your group.”

Roxanne took her place in the Gym Leader’s box of the field, and Drake stood in the challenger’s. The white markings that covered the field were much like the ones on a playground or football pitch, except there was a white box at each end, a line running down the middle and a Pokeball symbol on the central line. Drake’s Zel leapt onto the field, taking the classic one legged battle stance Combuskens were famous for, while Roxanne released her Pokemon from it’s red and white container. It was a large boulder, with two pairs of rocky arms, and a stone cold stare fixed on it’s face. A Geodude, which meant that Drake had been right. Though since his grandfather had told him each Gym Leader and their type it wasn’t surprising. Drake simply nodded towards Zel as Roxanne gave Geodude it’s first order. It slammed it’s hard fist against the ground causing numerous stones to fall from the ceiling. Zel artfully dodged each one, and then countered with a barrage of kicks, each one hitting the Geodude in the same spot. Nylf came and sat next to Drake, and since he had nothing better to do they began to chat.

"Okay Nylf,"

<"Nylf Schwarz Draconis the first, if you please,">

“What’s that about?”

<“I felt Nylf was too bland, and why should only humans get middle and surnames?”>

"Whatever, what do you think the odds are of Suila breaking up with Tac before this journey is over?"

<"Hmm, knowing your average teen, it's high, but you and Suila aren't your average teen. So good luck, I'm rooting for you. I haven't seen you this crazy about one girl in years! And shouldn't you be more focused on your Gym Battle?">

"No, Zel's doing fine,"

"And the winner is ZEL!" the referee, who had just turned up late as usual, cried,

"What did I tell you?"

<"I hate you so much right now"> Zel walked past, a cocky grin on his face and his arms behind his head.

<“Told you I could do it!”> he laughed as he passed Mudkip, who simply snorted and leapt onto the battlefield.

“Go Nosepass!” Roxanne released her second Pokemon. Suila burst into laughter at the sight of it. It was a large statue like Pokemon, with closed eyes, an elongated face. And an enormous, red nose. Drake knew this Pokemon was no laughing matter, but Suila didn’t feel the same way. She slowly regained her senses and got up.

“Sorry, but seriously, that Pokemon looks so stupid,”

“Yeah, well looks aren’t everything, Nosepass use Thunderbolt!” Suila was in shock, how could a rock Pokemon use an electric attack? However it could use it, it was, as it’s red nose began to glow and shot off a huge bolt of lightning that shook the field, and Mudkip was lucky to have dodged.

“HOW CAN A ROCK POKEMON USE AN ELECTRIC ATTACK?!” Suila yelled out in shock, as Mudkip started to breathe heavily. It had taken a lot of her energy to avoid that blast.

“It’s just one of the many tricks my Nosepass has to deal with water types. Anyway Nosepass use Rock Tomb!” the huge statue slammed it’s tiny round foot on the floor, and four huge boulders shot up around Mudkip, boxing it in. It was trapped.

“Mudkip, use Water Gun, blast your way out of there!” the fish nodded and shot a loud of water at the rocks. It didn’t work, it was still trapped.

“Nosepass, use Zap Cannon!”

“MUDKIP!” The head shaped Pokemon began to charge up it’s nose once more. Mudkip stared on, too in shock to move. She began to reflect on her life and dreams, as if that Zap Cannon hit her hard enough the odds were she wouldn’t make it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zel’s told me his past. It‘s rough, and Nylf’s is rougher. Me, I couldn’t understand. I’m not some abandoned Pokemon, my parents are fine and happy with their trainer. I’m nothing special. Doesn’t mean I can’t be though. My mum always used to say,

“You make your way through this world, and so you should make it the way you want to,”

I want to be someone who stands out. I don’t want to be just another Mudkip, Marshtomp whatever. I want to say I’ve seen and done it all. That I’ve lived life to the fullest. Sure, it’s wishful thinking, but there’s a world out there waiting for me and I won’t get anywhere being just another Mudkip. Zel may be an idiot but sometimes he does have a point, besides his beak. He always says that if you’re going to get anywhere, you’ve got to get there yourself. Friends and family help, but in the end only you can make your dreams come true. And he’s right. My dream may not be to the best, or be the most famous, but it’s better than nothing. And how many Pokemon can say they’ve seen the world? Not many, that’s who. It’s time I stop seeing this fight as the end. If I lose, I lose. I’ll just come back stronger. Time I kick it up a notch though, because I don't plan on letting a statue’s stop me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mudkip began to glow, as Suila realised that she and it had become linked. At first she was confused, but then she realised, she was soul linking. It felt kind of funny, as her emotions and Mudkips became one. It was a mix of feeling like you’re sitting in front of a warm fire, and you’re riding a roller coaster straight down. Both comfortably pleasant and uncomfortably shocking at the same time. Or something like that, it’s hard to describe. Mudkip glowed brighter until the link was finished, and then the very boulders around her began to melt, and then the earth she was standing on became to swirl around her, forming a protective vortex. Nosepass unleashed it’s blast, but the swirling soil cancelled it out. Then, slowly the earth began to settle, and a new Pokemon stood where Mudkip had. It had two navy blue fins on it’s head, that both very much resembled Elvis Presley’s quaff. It’s skin had changed colour, from the light blue of Mudkip to the turquoise of it’s new form, with white underbelly. It’s tail was now a long, curving ridge. Tough the biggest difference was this Pokemon was standing on . It was quite impressive.

<“Oh yeah, who da fish!”> the Marshtomp laughed, as Drake smiled, and Zel’s jaw dropped. Well his lower beak.

“Nice timing, but evolving won’t help you, Nosepass use Zap Cannon again!” the statue charged up and released another enormous blast of electrical energy, but Marshtomp merely stood there and took it, before brushing it off as if it was nothing.

“Apparently it will, Marshtomp’s a ground Pokemon which means electric attacks no longer affect it,” Drake calmly said as Suila smiled. It was good knowing you could count on your friends, even if one was a freaky two legged fish.

“Oh flip I forgot, well I surrender,”

“WHAT!?” Suila yelled, expecting a hardy finish to their battle.

“Yeah, well Nosepass is no match for a Water/Ground Pokemon, any fool knows that. I figured I’d cut my losses, follow me I’ll get your badges,” she returned her Pokemon in a flash of red light, as Drake and Suila looked slightly stunned. Marshtomp laughed in joy while Zel looked slightly ripped off. Nylf on the other hand was busily digging in the field for some reason only he knows. Eventually, after they finally took in everything, the two followed Roxanne into her office.

“Well here you go, your gym badges,” she handed each of them two small badges, made of two golden arrow heads facing opposite directions with a brown bridge connecting them. They were quite different in Drake’s opinion, as he pinned it to the inside of his hoody. Suila on the other hand had pulled a long ribbon out of her bag, and was pinning her badge to it.

“What’s with the ribbon?”

“I only have sweaters and T-shirts, so I use this to carry my badges,” well it made sense Drake guessed. Roxanne also handed each of them a brown compact disk.

“That’s the Technical Machine for Rock Tomb, that move I used on Mudkip, I mean Marshtomp, in our battle. Use it if you want,” Suila looked clueless, as Roxanne sweat dropped.

“Judging by your expression, you don’t know how to use it do you?” Suila shook her head, and Drake simply went outside to wait. Roxanne sighed.

“You put the disc in your Pokedex, then point it at the Pokemon you want to teach the attack to. If the two are compatible, the Pokedex will emit a signal that tells the Pokemon how to use the attack. Though TMs are one use only, so they immediately get wiped clean after you use it, understand?” Suila nodded, despite the fact she still had no clue. She was going to let Drake handle TMs in the future. Roxanne sighed, and ushered the two out of the gym. Drake may be cute in her opinion, but she just couldn’t handle another minute with Suila.

The two went back to the fountain, and sat down. They had had the mental foresight to keep Marshtomp and Zel in their Pokeballs for the time being. Suila had her feet in the water, and Drake was thinking what to do. They couldn’t reach the next town without a boat or a large water Pokemon, though Suila’s Marshtomp and Lotad didn’t count, they were too small. He was just about to sit down when he heard someone yelling and screaming. He looked at Suila, and they both nodded as she pulled her shoes on and they ran off to see exactly what was going on.

They kept running until they reached the edge of the city, where they found the same business man from Petalburg Woods shouting and screaming about something, a wet patch on his trousers as usual. Did this guy have bladder problems or something? Anyway, Drake ran over to him and quickly got to the point.

“Listen, what are you screaming about this time?”

“Ah, it’s you, that young man and woman from the woods! I need your help, a Team Aqua grunt just stole some important goods which need to go to Slateport!” Drake suddenly had another surge of temper, and Suila immediately looked worried.

“Where did they go?” Drake asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“They ran off to Route 104!”

“Right, Suila, let’s go!” She nodded, and the two set off as fast as they could go through the city. They stopped a few times for a breather, but by some power that defies me they reached the other edge of Rustboro and they were only slightly exhausted.

“Drake, we’ll never catch him at this rate,”

“C’mon, he only had a minute on us, and we’ve got running shoes on, so he shouldn’t be much further ahead,” Suila sighed. Drake really did hate her father’s team. They set off again, this time at a mild jog, taking the quick way down the northern part of Route 104, leaving numerous stunned trainers and Pokemon in their wake, until they came back to the woods. They jumped most of the ledges, and they finally passed through to the other side, though by now it was nightfall, and most of the nocturnal Pokemon such as Zubat and Poochyena had reared their heads.

They walked onwards, by now they were completely exhausted. Drake had released Zel who had created a small fireball to serve as a torch. They collapsed on the ground.

“I think we’ve lost him Drake, we should give up for now, and why do you even care so much about stopping a petty theft?”

“Team Aqua aren’t petty thieves, they always have some big plan. Your father’s the head ******* I would’ve thought you’d know,”

“Sheesh, don’t get so moody, and what’s with the temper?” Drake sighed, he was losing it again. He really shouldn’t have snapped.

“Sorry Suila, but Team Aqua gets me so riled up,”

“It didn’t back when Zel evolved,”

“Yeah, well I was in a different state of mind. What with Nylf’s collapse this morning, well it just brought back bad memories of what they do, and sorry for calling your father a *******,”

“Ah forget about it, I’ve called him worse,” it was then they heard shouting coming from a small hut. They crept closer, and it became clearer…

“Listen old man give me a ride to Slateport and your precious bird lives,”

“Fine you bilge rat but just don’t hurt Peeko, and answer me this what’s that keel haul worthy son of mine up to these days?”

“The boss’s schemes don’t matter to you, so let’s just get on with this,”

“Fine, fine, just wait right there while I get the keys..” Suila and Drake waited until they heard the old man leave, then Drake jumped into the small hut. Suila knew best not to reveal herself so soon to one of her father’s grunts.

“Right you grunt hand over the Devon goods!” Drake yelled, as Zel leapt forward. The grunt shook his head with a sinister grin on his face. He was in pretty much the same gear as the woman from back in the Woods.

“Afraid not boy, I’ll be the one giving orders here, as I’m the one with a hostage,” he put his right hand forward, revealing a small knife, and in his left hand it turned out he was holding a cage. It was hard to see as the room was only candle lit. Zel spat a flame at a few other candles to help see a little better, and the contents of the cage were revealed. It was a small white bird, it’s wings folded close against it’s body, and a long yellow beak sticking out of the cage. It was called a Wingull, and this one was clearly upset.

“Now, just go away and this here Wingull lives, y’here me runt!” he held the knife dangerously close to the seagulls apparently non-existent throat. Drake began to sweat and grit his teeth in fury, but unnoticed to either of them a small human shaped figure slipped into the room, and began to glow a light blue aura.

The knife in the man’s gloved hand was surrounded in the same aura as the small creature now standing behind Drake. It slowly was lifted out of the grunts hand, then seemingly thrown across the room, leaving it stuck in the wall. The grunt was in shock as he watched this odd event, and Drake too was slightly confused. Though Zel let out a small grin, as a telepathic voice suddenly burst out,

[I]<“Hey Zel, it’s been a while….”>




Hehehe. Who is this mysterious figure? How does it know Zel? Who is this old man? And when will Lotad actually get any attention? These questions, well maybe not the one on Lotad, answered next time in Emerald Lands, The War Reborn!

Thanks to Pikachuism for proof reading.

The PikaMew Fanatic
2nd January 2006, 5:33 PM
Great storyline, but a few grammer mixe-ups. Overall, this is a pretty good chapter. I espesially liked the bit the thong. ^__^ The old man is obviously Briny, and I'm guessing from this quote that he's Suila's grandpa. Right?

“Fine you bilge rat but just don’t hurt Peeko, and answer me this what’s that keel haul worthy son of mine up to these days?”

“The boss’s schemes don’t matter to you, so let’s just get on with this,”

Nylf
2nd January 2006, 7:54 PM
I'm not sayinbg anything yet. Though yes. I purposefully put that in. I wanted to leave a lot of questions for me to answer in the next chapter, because it's mostly a filler.

Ice_Scyther
2nd January 2006, 9:31 PM
Yay! go nylf the Trapinch!!!!!!

Favorite Quotes-


“So, what type of gym do you think this is Drake?” Suila asked as drake anime fell. He got up and rubbed his head embarrassedly.

“I’m going to take a stab in the dark here and say rock,”




“Hey, shouldn’t you have extra trainers in here?”

“They’re on a union break."



"Okay Nylf,"

<"Nylf Schwarz Draconis the first, if you please,">

“What’s that about?”

<“I felt Nylf was too bland, and why should only humans get middle and surnames?”>
"Whatever, what do you think the odds are of Suila breaking up with Tac before this journey is over?"

<"Hmm, knowing your average teen, it's high, but you and Suila aren't your average teen. So good luck, I'm rooting for you. I haven't seen you this crazy about one girl in years! And shouldn't you be more focused on your Gym Battle?">

"No, Zel's doing fine,"

"And the winner is ZEL!" the referee, who had just turned up late as usual, cried,

"What did I tell you?"

that was good. yay Nylf! Only thing that was bad was some missing punctuation here and there.

The PikaMew Fanatic
3rd January 2006, 4:20 AM
I'm not sayinbg anything yet. Though yes. I purposefully put that in. I wanted to leave a lot of questions for me to answer in the next chapter, because it's mostly a filler.
Works for me.

Felix Feral Fezirix
3rd January 2006, 7:10 AM
Briney is Suila's grandpa if you have enough mental capacity to put two and two together. Which everyone does except for a select few. And obviously none of them would be reading this. It would first require mental capacity to find this site. Go figure. (No offense to anyone)

As I said over PM, nice chappie, though Nylf should be shaking slightly after that shock. lol. Hehehehehehehe.

Shadowcat
3rd January 2006, 9:01 AM
NYLF! *glomps* You didn't tell me about this!?

Now, the Prologue was okay. Pretty Decent. But, like others have said, type out the spelling of the number instead of using the number itself.

Now, depending on whether I get off my lazy a** and review Chapter One, you might not see me here.

Nylf
3rd January 2006, 8:35 PM
OK, thanks Sapphire. And IS, those were some of my favourite moments too. Much like PIkachuism and his fic, this fic is my personal bedtime story. Though I skip to the end too much:D As in, the ends all planned, Nylf only knows the middle stuff. I'm leaving off my AAML so it can be pruned and I can give it a fresh start, so the next chaptet of this will be up a lot sooner than usual. As in only two months, not four:D Anyway it's a filler and ractically planned so it won't take much to do.

A Trip Down Memory Route 104
After a hectic moment, an old figure from Zel's abondoned days arrives, while the old man let's Drake and co break at his house. But who is this figure, and what is the real relationship between Zel and her?

Warning, fluff incoming. Very, very fluffy fluff.

Hoenn Warrior
3rd January 2006, 9:20 PM
Just finished reading all of the chapters and im very impressed!! And its clear that Briney is Suila's grandpa like many have figured out. Cant wait to see the mystery figure of Zel's past. Hope Nylf evolves soon.

Nylf
3rd January 2006, 9:31 PM
Thanks HW, but NYLF EVOLVING SOON? He's a Trapinch, they evolve at LV35, I like to keep my evolution's timed with my gaming, and my Trapinch's never evolve till Winona.

Felix Feral Fezirix
4th January 2006, 8:08 AM
I shall now encourage Sapphire to swear...Mwahahahahahahahha

Hoenn Warrior
4th January 2006, 6:50 PM
Well that is ture that they take a while to evolve, but the Thong wearing Trapinch is a funny Pokemon that has major issues with his past is a interesting character to see in your story so I can wait to see him evolve.

Felix Feral Fezirix
5th January 2006, 4:09 AM
My Trapinch evolve after I beat the living crap out of the 31337 4 because I catch them after the 31337 4. lol.

katiekitten
6th January 2006, 8:42 PM
Pretty good Nylf! Just read the next chappie. There were a couple of typos, missed capital letters and such, but they always slip through the net. I look forward to the next installment! :D

Nylf
6th January 2006, 9:00 PM
Thanks, did a few edits. And you won't be waiting as long as usual. Here's a preview:

<"So, how long's it been?">

<"Nearly four years">

<"I've missed you a lot,">

<"Same here,">

<"I never forgot our days together,">

<"Me neither, we certainly proved Andy wrong didn't we?">

<"Yeah, he was the biggest idiot I've ever met, and I've met a few,">

<"Me too, though Nylf jut beats him in my opinion,">

<"You mean that Shiny Trapinch? I guess, he strikes me more as weird than stupid. My horns have been working overtime though around you and him. He's one messed up Pokemon, his emotions are unbelieveably high,">

<"Yeah, well I can't blame the guy. I mean, I dislike him and everything, but you have to feel sorry for him, at least you and I can still see our parents, he's lost everyone in his family,">

<"Yeah, Zel...">

<"Hmm?">

<"I'm glad you're back,">

<"Me to">

Warned you it got fluffy.

Nylf
21st January 2006, 11:46 PM
Sorry to double post. Told you this wouldn’t take too long.

A Trip Down Memory Route 104

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can anything so easy be so hard to say? : Misty, Pokemon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<“ Just fine Ro, just fine,”>

“Not meaning to ruin the happy moment, but Zel could you save the Wingull?”

<“No worries, I got it,”> this Ro’s telepathic voice said once more, as a light blue aura surrounded the mysterious figures body once more. The cage was surrounded by the aura and slowly lifted away from the grunt. He tried desperately to keep his hold, but Zel punched him in the stomach, as the cage was then given to Drake.

“Now then, who has the upper hand again?” Drake said, a smile on both his and Zel’s faces. The grunt was in shock. What could he do? He grabbed his case and ran, shoving past Zel and Drake before they could react. But Suila was ready.

She stuck her leg out in front of the door, and the grunt was left flat on his face. She took the case out of his hands and then snuck away before he could realise what happened. He dragged himself out of the dirt and found his case gone, Drake and Zel standing in front of him with very smug looks on their faces, and a Shiny Trapinch with a very…blank look on his face behind him. Not good.

“Zel, use Quick Attack!” Zel sped forwards invisibly fast, and slammed the grunt clean in the stomach. He collapsed to the floor, winded. Then he just…vanished, along with the briefcase.

“Hold on, what happened?”

<“I teleported the briefcase to the man it belonged to, and I sent the man to a Petalburg prison,”> Ro’s voice echoed out once more.

“Okay, thank you, but who are you?”

<“Sorry, I guess Zel didn’t tell you yet, well I guess it’s time you meet me,”> a small figure stepped out from the shadows of the building. It was small and white, hardy taller than Zel. It had long green hair, with two red horns poking out of each side of it’s head. Two red eyes gleamed out from within it’s long hair, and it’s lower body had the appearance of a tutu. It was standing on two thin green legs. Suila took out her dex, and the Pokemon appeared on it’s screen, as the same monotonous computer voice read out all the information.

“ Kirlia, the Emotion Pokemon. Psychic element. A Kirlia has the psychic power to create a rip in the dimensions and see into the future. It is said to dance with pleasure on sunny mornings,”

Suila looked back and forth from the Pokedex to ‘Ro’. Something was different about this Kirlia to the one in the dex. Then she noticed the small blue ribbon that was tied in it’s hair. The dainty Pokemon corrected the ribbon in it’s hair, then walked over to Zel.

<“How long has it been now, seriously?”>

<“Three years, but who’s counting?”> she laughed, sticking her tongue out teasingly.

“As nice as this is Zel, is she a friend of yours?”

<“Yeah Drake, she is. We go back to my original trainer,”>

“Ahh, well then, be quick to catch up, we’ve got to get going soon,”

“Not so fast ye’ wee swabby!” the old man’s voice boomed out, as he stepped out from his hut. He was a tall man, dressed in a tatty old brown shirt, which lacked sleeves. He wore baggy shorts, and he was bald, all the hair being accumulated as a long white beard. His eyes were a similar colour to Suila’s.

“GRANDPA BRINEY!”

“Suila!” Suila ran over and hugged the old man happily. Her Marshtomp and Lotad watched on. He sighed, and stood next to the spectacle. He wasn’t used to moments like this with his grandfather. Drake Sr. was always too busy to spend time with them. The rare occasions he did though often got cut short. Drake happiest memories with his grandfather were his days training with Nylf. Only time he got more than a day with him.

“I see yer a trainer now me little Suila,” Briney laughed, rubbing Suila’s hair till she looked like a blue hedgehog with a ponytail.

“Yeah, and I only use Water pokemon, just like I promised,” Suila said perkily, sticking her chest out with joy. It took all Drake’s will power to not take much notice.

“That’s ma girl, here, come in, you too swabby,”

“It’s alright Drake, my grandpa’s just not very trusting of new people,” Suila said, smiling towards Drake. Drake looked on with half open eyes.

“Yeah, I hadn’t guessed,” he replied half heartedly as he followed his partner-in-justice inside.

<“Hey, wait for me! You can’t forget crazy!”>

<“NO, don’t leave me alone with Zel!”>

“Lotad!” Nylf, Marshtomp and Lotad hurried after their trainers, but Zel and Ro stayed outside.

<“So, how you been?”> he asked, and they lay back in the grass, staring at the darkened sky.

Inside the hut, Suila, Nylf and Briney were singing a very lack lustre performance of ‘What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?’ while Drake repeatedly hit his head against the table in a desperate attempt to block out the horrid singing. Peeko and Marshtomp had disappeared, and Lotad was attempting, to the best of it’s ability, to dance along to singing.

“Something the matter swabby?” Briney asked, taking a large slurp from his mug of tea. Drake lifted his head, revealing a clear bruise.

“My head hurts,”

<“I’m not surprised, you’ve hit that poor defenceless table with your head at least twelve times now, poor thing, it may have splintered,”> Nylf said, showing not the least bit of care for it’s trainer. Suila on the other hand had quickly raided her bag and pulled out a white bandage.

“Here, I’ll get that for you,” she said softly as she gently wrapped the bandage around Drakes head, making sure not to wrap his fringe underneath it.

“Thanks,”

“It’s alright, I know my singing’s bad, there’s no need to kill yourself for it,”

“Bad, have you heard yourself? I’ve heard better singing Misdreavus!” both he and Suila were laughing. Briney smiled, he hadn’t seen his granddaughter laugh in a long time. His son wasn’t the best father she could ask for. Mainly because his reputation stopped her getting friends. He was really glad she’d found someone like Drake.

Meanwhile, outside a familiar pair of Pokemon were lying on the grass, staring at a bright full moon that had filled the sky.

<"I've missed you a lot,"> She was smiling. She and Zel had both been Zel’s first trainer’s Pokemon. But, he’d abandoned them both, thinking they were weak. So she and Zel had had to look after each other for a few years before ‘that day’.

<"Same here,">

<"I never forgot our days together,">

<"Me neither, we certainly proved Andy wrong didn't we?">

<"Yeah, he was the biggest idiot I've ever met, and I've met a few,">

<"Me too, though Nylf just beats him in my opinion,">

<"You mean that Shiny Trapinch? I guess, he strikes me more as weird than stupid. My horns have been working overtime though around you and him. He's one messed up Pokemon, his emotions are unbelievably high,"> Ro’s horns were able to detect people’s emotions. They also worked on Pokemon. She got mixed feelings from Zel, and almost every emotion at once from Nylf. Her head was splitting just being around the two of them. But she didn’t want Zel to worry about her.

<"Yeah, well I can't blame the guy. I mean, I dislike him and everything, but you have to feel sorry for him, at least you and I can still see our parents, he's lost everyone in his family,">

<"Yeah, Zel..."> She was blushing slightly as she said this, but Zel couldn’t see.

<"Hmm?">

<"I'm glad you're back,">

<"Me to">

<“Remember when we took down that Ludicolo?”>

<“Yeah, I ended up dragging you out of the water,”>

<“Yeah, well you took on that Mightyena single handed,”>

<“And won,”>

<“Oh, right, I guess I was always the dead weight,”>

<“You were never dead weight Ro, we practically grew up together,”>

<“You’re going to be leaving again, aren’t you Zel?”>

<“Yeah, I wish I didn’t have to go,”>

<“I was always scared I’d never see you again Zel,”>

<“Ro, I promised I’d be back one day, and when have I lied to you?”>

<“Never I guess, though I still remember that day…”>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Pokemon stand in a thick clump of grass. One is a small red chick Pokemon, the other a dainty white Pokemon. It had green hair over it’s eyes, and two red horns, one sticking out of the front of it’s head, and another out of the back. It was clutching onto the side of the Torchic, scared.

<“Don’t worry Ro, we’ve taken down bigger things than this,”>

<“Yeah, but, but it’s bigger than anything we’ve faced,”>

<“It doesn’t matter, I won’t let anything hurt you Ro, you’re all I’ve got now,”>

<“Zel..”>

A tall figure stepped forward. His face was young, he had short brown hair, and a slight case of stubble. He was wearing a scientist’s white jacket, with a red ‘I Love Pokemon!’ T-shirt underneath.

“Hey there little guy, I just found out about Andy, I’m here to take you back,”

<“No, I’m not leaving Ro,”>

“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand Pokemon. I know you don’t want to go, but we need you to prove Andy’s guilty,”

<“Y’mean he’ll get locked up?”> Zel knew the man couldn’t understand him, but he still wanted to be sure.

“Yes, he’ll get what’s coming to him. I see you have a friend. I wish I could take her, but while she’s used to the wild, you aren’t, so I’m going to give you to my nephew,”

<“NO! No more trainers. They don’t care about us!”>

“I can guess why you’re so reluctant. But Andy’s an exception, now, come along,” he picked up Zel, and got pecked for it. He shook his hand, but continued on, being careful not to crush the little bird.

<“Zel!”>

<“Don’t worry Ro, I promise I’ll come back, I PROMISE!”>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small tears welled up in Ro’s eyes as she remembered that day. Zel looked over to her, and noticed them. He gently wiped them off her face, making sure not to scratch Ro. She sniffed slightly.

<“Thanks Zel,”>

<“It’s alright. Friends forever, hey Ro?”>

<“Yeah, friends…”>


The next morning, Drake and Suila were set to go.

“Alrighty there yar two. After that little karfuffle with my sons grunts, I’m itching to hit the sea again, anyway you need to go, I’ll drop you off!” he laughed heartily as he said this, the Wingull called Peeko perched on his shoulder.

“Well Grandpa, It would be nice f you’d drop us off in Dewford. There’s a Gym over there, plus Drake really wants to visit the cave,” Suila said, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

“Umm, has anyone seen Zel?” Drake asked, looking around for the red and yellow chicken.

<“He’s saying goodbye to his girlfriend!”> Nylf laughed.

<“SHUT UP!”> Zel angrily replied. Ro was with him.

<“So, here we go again,”>

<“ I guess, well, goodbye!”> Zel grinned, rubbing the back of his head.

<“Zel, please, promise me something,”>

<“Anything,”>

<“No matter what, one day you’ll come back here,>Tears were welling up in Ro’s eyes. She’d known Zel for four years now. He’d been with her through the thick and the thin. No matter what, he’d been there. And now, she was forced to say goodbye to him again. She didn’t want to. It hurt her way too much.

<“Of course I wi…”> Zel didn’t finish. He now had a Kirlia’s arms wrapped around him. He didn’t know what to do. He had met Ro again, and guessed she and him were still just ‘friends’. But, well he hadn’t seen her for three years. Maybe he was worried a bit. Though friends hugged all the time, didn’t they? They finally broke their embrace, and Ro was crying agin. Zel wiped away the tears again, and she smiled gently. She took her ribbon out of her hair, and handed it to Zel.

<“Here, for luck,”>

<“Ro, that’s your ribbon, I could never take it from you,”>

<“I realised blue’s not my colour, and anyway, now we have a link. Wherever you go, I’m there with you,”>

<“Ro..”> they stared into each other’s eyes. A gentle breeze blew by. They were both were near to crying. They didn’t want to have to say goodbye again so soon.

<“AS MUCH as I hate to do this, the humans are getting impatient, could we speed this up?”> Nylf appeared out of a hole, shocking both of them. Ro smiled, as Zel slammed his fist into the unsuspecting Trapinch’s skull.

<“Thanks Nylf, well, bye Ro,”. Zel turned to leave, as Ro waved goodbye. Drake, Suila and Briney could all be seen standing in the rickety white boat. Zel leapt onto the wooden deck, and Nylf dragged himself over the white skirt boards. Briney stepped into the control room, containing just a steering wheel and a couple of dials for fuel and speed.

“Yar my hearties, away we go!” he laughed, as he spun the wheel and the boat began to slowly pull out of the rickety dock by Briney’s house. Zel sat on the back of the ship, staring at his home, as he left it once more. It hurt him on a level he’d never felt, saying goodbye a second time. Then something caught his eye.

Standing at the end of the pier was the same slim figure who’d stood by him at the hardest point of his life. Standing at the end of the pier, was Ro. He smiled, she was waving and smiling, with tears streaming from her eyes. He sniffed, stood on the edge of the boat, and waved back, fighting back his own tears.

Ro couldn’t help but feel guilty. She should’ve told him. They’d grown up as friends, but now. They were both fifteen. Times have changed them. Absence has changed them. As Zel disappeared over the horizen, she wiped her tears from her eyes, and went back to her home in Route 104. She sniffed, as she muttered under her breath,

<“Zel, you’d better come back, because…I love you,”>



UBER FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!(Wow my eyes sting from doing that) Yeah, I warned you. This is purely a filler chapter, all we did was find out more about Zel and get the gang off to Dewford. Well, hope you like it. So you know, Briney made me laugh. And the fluff, oh I love writing fluff:D. Read, rate and enjoy.

This one was proof-read by moi, because I really wanted to post this, so, well I accept all blame for typos.

katiekitten
22nd January 2006, 12:01 AM
Very fluffy, ahh...

*waves pack of tissues* Poor Zel and Ro, a bit of an odd match but better than a Butterfree and a Charizard. (Long story...) Anyway, nothing stands in the way of trus love, does it? *throws confetti, humming "here comes the bride..."* :p

Me likey this chapter! Visit again I shall. [/end yoga speech] XD

Nylf
22nd January 2006, 12:06 AM
Yoda speech it is, Yoga speech it is not.

I always loved Blaziken x Gardevoir to be honest. If any Pokemon look good together IMO it's those two. It's not like they were my first two Hoenn Pokemon, hehe. Anyway, check the cc thread, I claimed it.

Glad you liked it, I loved it.(Romantic sap is stamped to my forehead).

BTW, for any rabid supporters, in case there are any, Zel x Ro is Route104shipping.

~Fire&Ice~
22nd January 2006, 1:04 AM
I read the first chapter of this Fic and Im liking what Im reading. I think I will keep my eyes on this one...

The PikaMew Fanatic
22nd January 2006, 2:25 AM
Very good chap, Nylf. Me likey teh fluff!!11one! Ahem...
Keep up the good work!

~;025;;151;

Felix Feral Fezirix
22nd January 2006, 1:37 PM
I'm sooo late, my compy decided to go, hey! let's mess up. So... Yeah.

Yay for Blaziken Gardevoir shipping. I have a Pokemon Stadium TCG set, Blaziken VS Gardevoir. I admit it looks good. But I didn't guess there would EVAR be a Route104 Shipping. lol.

Now to wait for the next chapter.

PS2: Get ready for the next chapter!

Shaddup. *kick*

Hoenn Warrior
22nd January 2006, 4:38 PM
An excellent chapter. I liked the whole love thing going on between Ro and Zel. I wished that Ro got to travel with the group so she could of stayed be Zel's side. Having a Blaziken and a Gardevoir on his team would make him a force to be reckoned with along side Flygon.

Nylf
22nd January 2006, 4:45 PM
Hence why I didn't do it. My usual team is:
Blaziken
Flygon
Gardevoir
Metagross
Tropius/Roselia
Walrein

But I got bored of my usual, so I tried something new and less o-p. Make Drake a little more impressive.

Plus, the reason Ro stayed will be explained next chapter.
100th post, booyah!

Hoenn Warrior
24th January 2006, 2:51 AM
Cant wait to see the next chapter and why Ro didnt stay around. She proved to be a powerful Psychic that could easily take down Brawly.

Nylf
24th January 2006, 11:17 PM
Exactly what I planned. Ro's a powerful Pokemon, and a main character, in an absentee way. You'll learn more about her as Zel himself grows. Emerald Lands is less about Drake and more about his Pokemon. Anyway, I hate Gym Battles being easy. I'm keeping type advantages down unless it's dramatic effect, like Nosepass vs Mudkip -> Marshtomp. I can't really say much more without spoiling Brawly. Ro never becomes a team member, but she is a man character. In Drake's team's, the Pokemon are all over the place. He's got dragon, bug, electric, ground, fire, fighting, water, grass and flying types in his team. All I can say is, look closely. This is 'Emerald' lands. Cookie to guess where 2/3 of the team comes from. Pikachuism can't enter.

Waves Of Emotion!
Drake and Suila immediatly challenge the next gym, but find themselves stumbling around in the dark. After a few 'awkward' moments and a panty raid by a certain Pokemon, they finally challenge Brawly. Though this is Zel's element, he feels really out of it. Though does Ro's gift hold more than just memories?

There, enjoy working that out.

Felix Feral Fezirix
25th January 2006, 3:05 AM
What? Me can't enter what? Oh well. And your opening tags are wrong, Nylf. Hehehehehe. Panty raid...Nylf is weird.

;025; I shall whoop his candy-@%$.

No...sledgehammer. -Felix is baseball-batted out of post-

Right. Pika out.

Raichu_Trainer_Chris
25th January 2006, 3:58 AM
Must....Kill...Team...Aqua! That Trapinchs mom dying bit made me so mad thtt I will make sure something extra horrible happens to Team Aqua in my fic. Grrr.

*Notices he has golden hair*

Huh when'd that happen?

*Evil laugh*

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
25th January 2006, 9:25 PM
Wow. I have now read this and you AMML and I really enjoyed both. This one is better though. I especially liked the humor part of it ^_^I can just imagine a trapinch in a thong^_^ and I can't comment on the "shipping" untill i find out what it is. But anyway. One word. FLUFF

Nylf
25th January 2006, 10:21 PM
Shipping = couple
Pokeshipping = Ash x Misty
Route104shipping = Zel x Ro
Startershipping = Drake x Suila
Lilycoveshipping = Suila x Tac
Awkwardshipping = Drake x Roxanne
Pantyraidshipping = Nylf x Suila's thong

Does that help? I've listed all possible shippings I've made so far plus a famous example. Yeah, Team Aqua, no comment. In the end of the main saga, everyone get's dragged in, including Ro. Why did I say main saga? Well stuff happens after you beat the league in Emerald, so it does here. But I'll clearify now, there will be no Battle Frontier. Emerald Lands is about 20 years before the anime timeline, so the Battle Frontier doesn't exist.

OBTW, thanks for reviewing.

StrayedBullet
26th January 2006, 12:42 AM
Nylf,

you have improved greatly over each chapter, your description, length and punctuation have been excellent in the past chapter. Prologue was ok, but can't wait to see more

-SB ;001;

Hoenn Warrior
26th January 2006, 3:18 AM
You got a lot of shipping going on in your story. Cant wait to see a few of them come true like the panty raid, Zel and Ro, and Drake and Suila. I figure one of the shipping has to happen in order for the other one to spark up. Hope to see the gym battle soon and if Zel can get back in his element and dominate the gym battle.

Flame Man
28th January 2006, 1:38 PM
aw man! I like the battle frontier. Ah well. I like the shipping hints. I think that you have improoved alot since chapter one. Man, I wish that I could do a fanfic as good as this one. o.0

OFF TOPIC: Could someone define AAML Please?

Atoyont
29th January 2006, 1:55 AM
AAML means Ash And Misty Love (Story).
Oh, Nylf, great Fan Fic.

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
29th January 2006, 4:18 PM
Thanks Nlyf it really helps.

ex-ty
29th January 2006, 7:39 PM
this is so good. a Combusken that is best friends with a Kirlia is unusual making it really cool. my fiction started off c*** but i've altered it. in my opinion it still is

TwilightFacade
17th February 2006, 5:42 AM
Wow I am so late. I haven't posted here in over 3 months. Well Nylf your story is great. Interesting characters, interesting plot, and references to the anime and games all make this a great story. Just curious but do you know how many chapters you plan to have. Well I give it a 9.5/10 just like last time.

Diljabar
26th February 2006, 2:02 AM
I got sick of seeing your banner and not reading the story so I finally have, and I am ****ing happy I did, too! It's awesome, but at this rate, it won't be done for years! Oh well, nice having them in teh race, they're kawaii!

Btw, there's a new shipping on teh block:

SeaBeastShipping: Lugia & a Kraken (which represents me and cdra1617 ^^)

Nylf
26th February 2006, 3:31 PM
Actually, in RP it's a differant Ro and Zel. This is set 25 years before MB, goodness only knows how long before KB's RP, and 21 years before the anime. And I'm finally getting somewhere with this.

And everyone, thanks for the review. And now a preview:

<"Ha ha, look at the little puni man with his ribbon. You call yourself a Fighting type when you wear that vussy little thing. Oh it makes me laugh!"> the annoyingly German accented Makuhita mocked, as Zel's fury just kept rising.

<"SHUT YOUR DIAPER HEADED TRAP YOU FAT ORANGE,"> Suila gasped at Zel's language. Nylf laughed, he never knew Zel had it in him to say something like that. Drake rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was going to get ugly. Flames were literally bursting out of Zel.

<"No-one mocks Ro's ribbon. No-one mocks me either, especially when their head looks something Nylf would wear on his head,">

<"Hey, I resemble that remark!"> Nylf yelled out, ruinung the moment. Everyone, including Zel and the Makuhita sweatdropped, as this time Suila kicked Nylf on the head.

<"Listen you overgrown orange with eyes, this ribbon is the only memento of my days in the wild. Y'know what that is fatso? Yeah, the place you never spent one day of your pampered, fat-***ed life you over stuffed diaper. Frankly, if this thing, which has seen more battles than you've seen cooked meals, and judging by your belt size that's quite a few, is a wuss I guess that makes you an even bigger wuss frankly, and yes, I do call myself a Fighting Pokemon, for this-reason!"> Zel dissapeared, and appeared again in front of the Makuhita, shoving all three of his claws into the sumo's stomach.

"And don't get cocky with me because you landed a few lucky punches early on in this fight. All you did was make me angry..." Zel wiped what little blood he still had from the earlier punches of his face, and the flames around him began to dance wildly like a personal group of cheerleaders. And the ribbon that was now tied around his fist began to glow...

Zel got mad...

umbreon43085
26th February 2006, 9:00 PM
That's good. I think that I know what happens...

Anyway, cant wait for the next chappie.

Felix Feral Fezirix
27th February 2006, 7:22 AM
Hmm.......Mr. pissy. Gah. Felix pwns everyone when he's on crack. Bwahahahahahahahahaha. And I ycan tell Zel is going to thrash that Makuhita to death. If Drake doesn't win, I shall get broadband 10+ days early from time of post. Gah.

Hoenn Warrior
28th February 2006, 12:23 AM
SOMEONE GONNA GET A BEATING!! Thanks to that preview I cant wait for the next chapter to be up!! Want to see Zel beat down Makuhita badly for the insult. I wonder how well Suila will do at this Gym?

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
1st March 2006, 9:38 PM
Finaly a spoiler. Can't wait to see makihitu (as I call it) get his *** kicked

Advancedblazeashmaymistyp
23rd March 2006, 3:41 AM
wel... i'll have 2 say tht this is my first time reviewing ur story even though i started reading it around november forget about it came back and saw new chapter read it came back after 2.5 monts still no new chapter and so for the heck of it i just decided to review it no quotes caise i'm lazy like tht well this story is pretty good i mean the plot has kept me reading but the main reason is the fluff yeah tht's right i like fluff idk y but i have a sudden liking to it ever since i read xXSABERXx story. well... u could do a bit more description like describe everything, but other than that pretty decent ok ok good. wow no action 2day ^_^! *starts leaping for joy and looks up in time to see beast from he%l glaring daggers at me* oh, fuc- *gets sliced in half. Stuffing and red liquid flying everywhere and the beas eagerly lickes it drooling for more*


EDIT: whoa the Author hasn't replied for 3 months

ex-ty
30th May 2006, 2:41 PM
No offence but have you done the next chapter yet?

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
30th May 2006, 2:57 PM
He probably has but couldn't find it. Dont rush people

Hoenn Warrior
31st May 2006, 11:27 PM
Hope the chapter comes up real soon. Dying to read on the gym battle between Drake and Brawly. Been a while since he posted too, but no rush.

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
1st June 2006, 11:28 AM
Can't wait to see what happens to the Makihitu.

Jase the Dragon tamer
8th June 2006, 1:10 PM
WAHHHHHHHH
iwanna see Maku get the shite(as any bad british comedy would say) beaten out of him.
Rating time
;330; ooh my favourite part
i rate this fic 20 flygons out of 10
;330; why 20 you rated the other one 17
yeh but this one has Nylf and his pantie fetish
;330; yay Nylfness

Jase out

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
8th June 2006, 4:56 PM
^Whats wrong with British comedy?

Jase the Dragon tamer
15th June 2006, 10:22 AM
I said BAD british comedy. dosent mean its all bad. imean look at Monty Python

~*Mudkip Fantastic*~
16th June 2006, 2:25 PM
Ok sorry. Monty Python!!!!!!!!!!1

Dragonfree
19th June 2006, 2:39 AM
Closing on author's request. Apparently Nylf has decided to restart the fic.