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X_secretOrre_X
10th August 2005, 12:45 AM
PG-13|Parents Srongly Cautioned |
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Mild Violence, multiple deaths |[/U]

Chapter 1

"It's too cold here..." Ash pointed out suspiciously. Ash, Misty, May, Brock, & Max were on their way to the Lake of Life, where the Storm of Shadows lurked. Why would the quintet go to the Storm of Shadows, you ask? Well, there was supposed to be an undiscovered species of POKéMON inside, one that attacked people. It caused the Storm of Shadows, which no one can see.
"Yeah... But why?" Misty wondered aloud, confused..
"Uh... I think maybe that?" Brock murmured, shaking like a leaf. Slowly, he pointed over the canopy of the place where Arbor Town peaked out.
The group turned to see where Brock was pointing. A huge beast resembling a Lugia was there. Undoubtedly, this was the source of the wind.
But this was no Lugia.
It was purple, with whiteish-lavender horns, ridges and spikes. Its teeth were larger and sharper than Lugia—or Rayquaza for that matter. And it had bloodred eyes.
It gathered up shadowy energy. Suspicious, Ash ran forward, ready for a battle.
Surprisingly, the monstrosity shrieked in agony, turned, and fled, before it could release the 'shadow blast.'
"What was that?!" May cried out, the instant it was out of sight.
"I dunno, but wha—WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!?!?!"
Something resembling a virus had appeared on Max's PokéNav. Indeed, it was a virus—the dreaded XD-001 virus at that—but all it marked was a huge iron slab that was supposed to be in front of them. The group slowly looked up. A huge iron slab was in front of them. Engraved on the slab (next to a PokéBall-shaped switch May pressed) were the words ORRE REGION and a strange device Ash put on. It seemed to be a special lens of sorts.
"They should put 'DO NOT ENTER' on that slab. This place is uninviting," Brock stated the obvious. Before them stood a vast desert, with only a train-looking thingy about a mile away.
"Let's go to the train-looking thingy! It's about a mile away," Ash reassured a very unsettled Misty.
"And let's hurry," May said, evidently hungry.
When they reached the station an hour later, having discussed the beast Ash had repelled and what it might be the entire way, they received a very warm welcome. Everyone there seemed to have been waiting for them, particularly the barman.
"We've been waitin' for you!" the friendly barman said, clapping Brock on the shoulder with his heavy hand, slightly driving him into the soft ground.
"Why?" the lowered Brock asked dubiously.
"I suppose I owe you a proper explanation, don't I?" the large barman began.
"Before your POKéMON World existed, there was just this barren wasteland known as the land of Orre. Orre had Mt. Battle, now a 100-battle PokéMon Training center, the now nonexistant PokéSpots where you could find wild POKéMON, and a great evil. You hav witnessed this evil and its awesome power: the Storm of Shadows."
"We've... witnessed it?" Ash asked slowly.
"Yerrrp. That cold wind?"
"Yeah?"
"That was the Storm... and that Lugia-thing inside was the Strange POKéMON of legend."
"Can you tell us what the Strange POKéMON is?" Misty asked eagerly.
"Unfortunately, I've got no clue what it is, either," the
"Does anyone?"
"Yerrp, actually. Our leader Seth does, and he's on his way, so I'd better continue, eh?"
"This evil power possesed two men: Nascour and Evice Cipher. The brothers promised to give the evil a form if it gave them the ability to spread its evil. Both ends ot the deal were kept. In exchange for a form, which now causes the Storm of Shadows, Nascour and Evice made a company called Cipher. However, it needed certain things: motivation, popularity, and knowledge." "They gathered Peons and gave most of them the POKéMON infected by the evil, known as Shadow POKéMON. Out of them, three Administrators were chosen: Venus for popularity—it gained them the support of The Under. Miror B. for motivation—he maintained Duking's support by capturing his Plusle. Ein for knowledge—a brilliant scientist who made the Ein Files and manufactured Shadow POKéMON. And Gonzap was head of team Snagem—a team that captured—no, stole—POKéMON from their Trainers with the Snag Machines for Ein to maufacture into Shadow POKéMON."
"One person, Seth, stood out from the others. He was the greatest Snagger of all time. He found out about Cipher, and would have no more of it. He stole the small Snag Machine, escaped on the Hoverwheeliemobile, and destroyed the hideout."
"Lately, however, the evil itself randomly darted in and out of Hoenn, so Seth needed help desperately. Then we saw what you did, (he pointed to Ash) and invited you to Orre."
"And what's this?" Ash indicated the lens.
"That's the—"
They were interrupted by a loud rumbling noise outside.
"That'll be Seth, and he can answer your questions on the way to The Under, which is now liberated now that Venus has fled. Y'd better be goin' now. He doesn't like wasting time."
************************************************** ***************

Chapter 2 coming soon.

Klaus
10th August 2005, 1:11 AM
I don't really understand the plot. And what is the area around them, I need more decription. This may sound dumb, but even though we already know what Ash, Misty and co look like, its nice to decribe them. I learned that early on, when I started writing, is that decription is everything.

Next, you need more spacing. Double between paragraphes: exp:

"Bob, what are you doing ?" Shelly ask
<notice the spacing>
"Eating a Growlith" Bob replied

The only way I like stories that involve Ash, is if he's the dumb sidekick and Misty his the heroin, or if you've screwed with his character, like I do, and make him different than his tv self. In all mine, he's the sidekick or side character.

I'll keep and eye on this story, it sounds like it could be bloody brilliant. Anyway, keep up the work and I hope this helps.

As always, be kind to them mime.

X_secretOrre_X
10th August 2005, 3:12 AM
Ash has matured: this is 6 years after Hoenn.
Also, Seth is the main character.

Chapter 2:

Ash, Misty, Brock, May, & Max found who was waiting outside. A grim-looking figure stood there. Roughly 6 years older than Brock, he had spiky silver-bronze hair and deep blue eyes. He was dressed in a midnight blue cloak with a split end and a matching tunic, as well as brownish-grey riding boots that seemed to be rather worn out and black gloves. His let arm was normal for his dress, but his right arm was an odd-looking device—like darker blue armor with red designs embossed all over it. It seemed to go well with Ash’s lens, like they were a set or something.
“Good day,” he greeted them, turning to face them fully. By his tone, the group thought he was angry, but his eyes were sorrowful and understanding, and they made out a faint smile. It looked as if he hadn’t done much more than this in a long time.
“Good… day…” Misty nervously returned the greeting to the intimidating figure.
“Nervous, I see?”
“Uh…”
“Heh, usual first impression. Well, you can get on the hunk of junk over there, and we can start towards the Under.”
“What is this, and who are you?” May asked over the roaring of the junk’s engines.
“This is the Snagem Hoverwheeliemobile, and my name is Seth,” the figure replied. “Don’t worry, it’s got good speed.”
“How fast?” Misty asked, concerned.
“’Bout .2 Mach on the desert, .17 Mach slower up Mt. Battle,” Seth replied. “And we’ll need to stop at Phenac City, nicknamed Oasis Town.”
“Do they mean it?”
“Couldn’t more.”
After about 2 1/2 hours, they arrived at Phenac City. It was overflowing with water.
“I figured you were a Water trainer the instant I first saw you,” Seth declared happily to Misty when they reached Phenac.
“C’mon out!” Misty cried just as joyfully. Out came Starmie, Politoed, Quagsire, Goldeen, Staryu, and another Starmie.
“Why not?” Brock released Steelix, Forretress, Crobat, Zubat, and Keckleon.
“Might as well!” Ash cried, and released Torkoal, Ivysaur, Blastoise, Charizard, Sceptile, and Swellow.
“Pikachuuuuuu!!! Pi! Pi! Pi! Pi!” A muffled cry came from a seventh PokéBall.
“How’d you get in there?!” Ash wondered aloud after releasing a stuck Pikachu, “You were with me when we came in…”
“Pi pi pika pikachu pi pika pika pika pi CHU! Pikachu pika pi,” Pikachu explained.
“Hmmm… Sounds fishy. Anyway, you’ll wanna hear what we’re about to find out.”
“I owe you a proper explanation, don’t I?” Seth began.
“First of all, what’s this?” Ash indicated the lens.
“That is the Snag Detector, and it is the key to detecting Shadow POKéMON. I didn’t know it was real until now.
“So what does it do?”
“You can see a dark aura around a Shadow POKéMON with this on. A Shadow POKéMON is a POKéMON with the door to its heart sealed.
“Pika pika pi?” Pikachu asked.
“Yes, actually. If you mean to purify a Shadow POKéMON, you need to train it to know you. Then take it to the Relic Stone in Agate Village when it’s ready to be purified and it will be.
“How long does it take?” Brock asked.
“Usually about 3-5 weeks, could be longer for strong ones.
“How do you know when to take it to the stone?”
“You don’t.”
“Why is your right arm armor-like?” Max asked.
“That is what gets me the Shadow POKéMON I need to purify,” Seth replied darkly.
“What is it?”
“The Snag Machine.”
************************************************** ***************
Chapter 3 coming soon.

X_secretOrre_X
10th August 2005, 2:23 PM
What... No one likes it?
P.S. Sorry for the double post!

Chapter 3:

“Yes, my friends, this is the Snag Machine I stole… hmm, let’s see… How long have I had this? Oh, yeah. Anyway, I’ve been working for three months with this and Snagged 2 legendaries for their Tokens. I’m working on a third one,” Seth murmured grimly.

“What’s a token, and who are the legendaries?” Max asked equally quietly, not wanting to arouse suspicion.

“The 21 Legendaries are mostly Shadow POKéMON.”

“How many aren’t?”

“One.”

“WHAT THE?! @#!$% THAT’S—”

“Deoxys,” Seth cut in to Max’s bout of violent swearing. “Deoxys has eluded capture by remaining in Cyberspace.”

Ash gave a sigh of relief.

“We can still obtain its token by snagging all of the other ones. But it isn’t a concern yet. We don’t need—YOU?! WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING HERE?!“

“To listen in. Too bad I only heard three words.” A figure had appeared. She was dressed in midnight-blue armor, with black boots and a visor. Around her waist were six PokéBalls. On her chest was something that read: CIPHER PEON THUBLEND.

Ash knew what this meant. Quietly, he muttered to the group, “Cipher.” He then strapped on the Snag Detector.

“Don’t worry, I know what comes next. Battle!” he heard Seth cry.

“6-on-6, not 2-on-2. Go, Remoraid! Mantine! Mightyena! Poochyena! Duskull! Sableye!” the Cipher Peon called out.

A small, light-blue fish with navy stripes; a navy Stingray POKéMON with more impressive size; a black-and-grey dog-like creature; a smaller version of the former; a floating skull with a backgroud resembling that of a Poe* and a purple imp-thing with large, round white eyes emerged from the six PokéBalls.

“C’mon out, Umbreon! Espeon! Suicune! Quagsire! Noctowl! Quilava!” Seth answered.

His balls generated a black dog-thing with radiating blue circles; a green cat-thing with black eyes and a red gem on its forehead; a blue dog-thing of more impressive size that also yielded lighter-blue spots, whiteish-blue twin tails that fluttered in the desert wind, and a blue-green underside; a light blue blobbish-thing with a navy border to its tail, which was similar to that of a beaver; an owl- thing that had a light brown crest and reddish wings; and a ferret with fire on its blackish-blue back, a sand-colored underside, and blue eyes.

“All right! Mantine, Remoraid, Water Gun on Quilava!” the Cipher Peon started.

“Dodge it, and use Flamethrower!” Seth retorted.

“Uh, Seth…” Ash interrupted, “That Mightyena is a Shadow POKéMON…”

“Thanks, Seth called, before turning his attention back to the battle.

“Umbreon, usual dealings on Mightyena! Espeon, Psychic on Mantine!”

“Sableye, Curse on Umbreon!”

“Umbreon, keep your focus on the battle! Ghost attacks don’t hurt you! Quilava, roast that Sableye with Fire Blast!”

“Fire Blast?!” Max said, bewildered. “That’s one of the most powerful Fire-type moves there is!”

“Sableye doesn’t stand a chance!” May said excitedly.

“Remoraid, Hydro Pump Quilava!” the Cipher Peon said angrily.

“Dodge that inaccurate attack! Noctowl, Hypnosis dealings!”

“Waaaake UUUUUPPP!!!” the Cipher Peon called. Nothing happened.

“Umbreon, Secret Power on Mightyena!”

“Oh yeah!” Brock cried. “That’s being asleep, confused, and paralyzed at the same time, PLUS low health! There’s no way it’ll fail now!”

Seth must have heard him, because he then cried, “GO! Snag BALL!”

The PokéBall spun around in the Snag Machine several times. Then, Seth hurled it at Mightyena. When it hit, it cast out a hexagonal form of light beams at it. Then the Shadow POKéMON was absorbed into the ball.

It wavered on the ground, like it was nervous. After several agonizing seconds, it stopped wavering. Mightyena had been snagged!

“NOOOOO!” the Cipher Peon cried. With all of her POKéMON weak, she couldn’t win.

“Espeon, finish this! Swift attack!”

4 stars formed in front of Espeon. With a slight nod by Espeon, the stars flew out in 4 directions. One hit each POKéMON. They all fainted.

“Oh yeah! Nice one!” Ash cried happily.

“How could you have beaten me?!” Thublend cried sulkily. “I was supposed to listen to info, and I get a trashed team!”

“Beat it, weakling,” Seth retorted coldly. “We don’t want your Shadow POKéMON here—or anywhere, for that matter.”

“OOOOOHHHHH…” Thublend turned and left.

“We’ve got to get back to Hoenn!” Seth cried anxiously. “Next it’ll be the evil you witnessed back at Arbor Town—Shadow Lugia!”

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----- -------------------------------- -------------------- -------------------
PLEEEASE review? PLEEEEEASE?

*Hint of future works (sharing of DC revised)

X_secretOrre_X
4th November 2005, 10:18 PM
Where is everyone?

Chapter Naming Time!!

Chap. I: Welcome to Orre
Chap. II: The Snag Machine
Chap. III: Phenac Duel

Nothing can Be the Same Again is becoming a Crossover in chapter 4.

Which is coming right now.

CHAPTER IV: BATTLE OF ARBOR TOWN-HYRULE’S REVENGE

Jumping on board the Hoverwheeliemobile, the Heroic Team roared across the landscape. Ash caught a glimpse of a streak of silver through the Snag Detector at one point, but there was nothing else suspicious.

That is, until brutal green-and-red lasers began to pepper the strange machine.

“Abandon ship!” May yelled, leaping of the hopeless machine. The others followed suit. But then the lasers targeted them!

“I knew there was something fishy. Go, Torkoal!”

“What would a Torkoal do?” Seth asked frantically, now resorting to performing some impressive acrobatics to avoid the colored cannon fire.

“Something is causing those lasers that the Snag Detector can somehow pick up! I’m going to try and stop them.”

“Ash, no!” Brock yelled, but his cautious counterpart had already pulled the trigger.

“Torkoal, use rapid spin!” Ash cried. The orange turtle pulled itself into its battered, cracked brown shell and began to spin rapidly. “Now aim straight for that spot!” He pointed something out. Torkoal, still spinning, hurled itself at it. The turtle hit its mark. Something was causing the lasers. The snag detector had picked it up. But now it was in the open.

A battered, run-down something was flying around in Orre. It had a sort of mounted gun on the back. It had a parallelohedron*-shaped cockpit cover, two red-and-white flaps, and two laser cannons. It was definitely the source of the red lasers.

“We’re starting to catch on!” May, Brock and Misty called simultaneously.

“Go, Beautifly!” A beautiful, multi-colored butterfly emerged.

“Foretress, I choose you!” Out shot

“Go, Staryu!” Seth would have, but the flying thing and whatever was causing the green lasers seemed to concentrate on him.

“All right, all of you,” Ash began. “Fire at… THAT SPOT! Follow my finger.”

“Roger that,” May said patriotically, then said, “Beautifly, Silver Wind!”

The other two followed suit. “Foretress, use Rapid Spin!”

“Staryu, Night Shade!”

All three attacks hit. They revealed a burning spherical cockpit and two hexagonal wings. It rocketed to the ground and exploded. The shockwaves knocked them back quite a distance. Seth was caught in midair.

“Impressive. Most impressive.” A disembodied voice rang out. “You seem to have a way with your beasts. But are they any match for a phantom shadow beast?

Phantom Shadow Beast BONGO BONGO

Suddenly, a quick beat rang out. The desert was shaking so much they flew into the air. The moment they hit the ground, they bounced up again.

Misty was confused. “It’s like there are invisible hands- ASH!!! WHAT DO YOU SEE?”

“I see two hands and a sock-plant thingy. Oh, wait! Now I get your point! Staryu, use rapid spin on that spot!” He pointed at one of the hands. Staryu spun around very quickly. Since Staryu is like an iron star, it was very lethal. It hit the hand dead-on! It turned blue, shook itself, and hung suspended in the air.

Suddenly, the other hand clenched into a fist, rose up, and hovered over Seth’s head.

“Watch out!” Ash yelled. Seth leaped away, following with a roundabout to gain some distance from the fist. It unclenched, but moved over Ash and Brock.

“CHARGE!!!” Ash and Brock both ran as fast as a jet plane-2 mach.

Halting their charge, Ash pointed out the hand again.

“Night shade!” Misty cried. The black beam hit dead-on! The hand turned blue, shook itself, and hung suspended in the air. An eye opened on the sock-plant thing.

But now they were in for a surprise. Both hands clenched into fists. They moved beside the eye. Then the whole thing jetted towards them!

“WHOA-ugh.” The entire group chanted simultaneously: “That stupid thing, it bent our wing! It’s luck is to have been: At least this isn’t the first time that WE’RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!”

Alakazam
15th November 2005, 1:10 AM
1.) Tell us who sends out a Pokemon.
2.) Since when does a Staryu learn Night Shade?
3.) 6-on-6 battle=not cool
3/10 not the most origanal story

Kayote's Bane
15th November 2005, 5:18 AM
Night Shade? That's ghost. Does Staryu look dead?

Anyhow, while you've got a pretty good plot going on, the way you word this story isn't all that great. (Same here with me, unfortunately...)

O_O...

Hyrule too? That is not the best of crossover fics...

X_secretOrre_X
15th November 2005, 12:30 PM
Well, if you recognised the mystery veichles, then its not all just Hyrule being thrown in. And this is just the prelude to an EVEN GRATER FANFIC!!!... it won't be good, but it'll be better than this one!

Staryu has a few secrets that won't be disclosed to the rest of the rest of the PokéMon Fanfic World for quite a while. One of these secrets lets it use Night Shade... and Staryu's not the only one with secrets....

Alakazam
20th November 2005, 3:15 AM
Just a mix of the Anime with Ocarina