View Full Version : The Pokemon Academy

4th October 2005, 12:13 AM
Yes, another Pokemon Academy fic. But this one will actually get finished. C/C are appreciated greatly, although I'll probably ignore most gripes about description. Keep in mind that I will edit the first chapter based on reviews, so don't think people just made up mistakes or something. Anyways, here it is:

The Pokemon Academy
Chapter 1

My hands trembled as I fumbled with the envelope. I slipped my finger into the side, thrusting to the left and ripping it open. Inside were two plain pieces of computer paper stapled together. Holding my breath, I pulled out the double sheet and unfolded it, nearly dropping it in the process. My eyes flicked across the page, absorbing the words greedily.

Dear Mr. Hunter Olsen,

The Pokemon Academy has received your submission for acceptance. We are happy to inform you that you received a perfect 1000 on your GSTA (Global Standardized Testing and Assessment), a perfect 100 on the SABPK (Standardized Assessment of Basic Pokemon Knowledge), and, most importantly, an Advanced in Skills, Knowledge, and Intuition and an Above Average in all other areas on the RTPBS (Real-Time Pokemon Battling Simulation). In addition, your letter of recommendation from Academy alumni Professor Joseph Doe was highly positive.

Because of your obviously advanced skills, you have been accepted into the Pokemon Academy. Attached is a recommended packing list, and you should meet at the designated address and time. In addition, we request a humble fee of $200 to cover costs not paid for by our generous alumni donations.

Congratulations and see you soon,

Professor Orville Donague

I always pictured myself leaping up ecstatically at this moment. After all, I was going to be attending the most prestigious Pokemon boarding school in the world for sixth, seventh, and eight grade, and for the incredibly low price of $200. But nothing happened.

At least, not right away. Without warning, a strange bubbling began in my stomach, rising up through my throat, passed my heart, until…

“YEEEEEEEES!” I shouted, my voice echoing to the rafters. I pranced merrily to the next room, doing a jolly prospector’s dance. My eyes were squinted shut with glee, so I didn’t see which of my family members ripped the letter out of my hand, but after a few seconds of reading, I was joined by another gleeful voice. And then another. And another.

Before long, we had the Growlithe howling in the streets.


The huge cafeteria was a pleasing blue, but the calming effect was lost on my fluttering stomach. It was filled with a hundred students my age, all sweaty and eager to receive their Pokemon. I had left my parents behind about an hour ago, and now it was just me, the kids, and the forty or so booths scattered across the edges.

“Hunter!” I heard a shout from the left, “Hunter!”

I glanced over, and saw a boy heading for me. He was very tan, obviously Hispanic, and had short black hair spiked messily in all directions. He was short, and walked with his head in front of his neck in a way that made him look slightly hunched. He had a heavy silver chain lying over his simple blue shirt.

“Chris!” I shouted back, making my way through the crowd, “You got in, too?”

He nodded. “I managed to get okay scores on the tests and I got pretty awesome in some of the simulations. Do you know where we’re supposed to go?” His voice was not really that high-pitched, but definitely not as deep as mine.

We navigated our way to the correct line, and stood chatting for a while. Chris was one of my best friends before the Academy, and we got along great, despite our obvious differences. I always had the most A’s in school, while Chris had the most girlfriends. I was tall, he was short. But at the same time, that helped both of us. I helped him understand his homework, he helped me get a girlfriend. I was always tall enough to block and tackle anything that came near me in any sport, while he was short enough to dart around unnoticed. So I guess you could say we complimented each other.

Pretty soon we got to the front of the line, where we met a round woman with a bored face but jolly eyes behind a table. She gave us small cobalt devices. “Pokedexes,” she explained, “They also have a function similar to the one used to enlarge a Pokeball which can transform them into laptops. They will be your guide and most important tool here at the Academy. Please proceed to fill out the test at the beginning to see which starter you will receive. It will show you where to go.”

I shrugged, shouldering my way out of the line. Once in a quiet area, I flipped open the device to reveal a glossy screen. After finding the on button and pressing it, a message flashed across the screen, along with an arrow pointing to a button on the side.

“Please enlarge.”

I pressed the button, and the thing blew up to the size of a laptop, with a full-fledged keyboard. Another message scrolled across the screen, this time with a space to answer.

“Summarize your personality in one sentence, your battling style in another, your appearance in another, and your best quality in another.”

I wasn’t really sure if I wanted a Pokemon that looked like me, but I obeyed. “Kind of dorky, quite random, yet serious when it is time. Agile and speedy, with lots of blocks and tackles, and very little direct hitting. Tall, easily tanned, short brown hair, very thin. Intelligence.”

I hit the Enter key, and a new message flashed across the screen.

“Do you have any type preferences? If not, would you prefer a physical or special type?”

I typed a hasty reply, “No, either.” Short, but it would do. I tapped the key again, and there it was.

“Would you rather have a one, two, or three stage Pokemon?”

I silently hoped this wouldn’t be too long. The butterflies in my stomach had just learned how to play lacrosse. I tapped the three key, then Enter. Up popped what I hoped was the last question.

“Would you rather have a challenging Pokemon, an average Pokemon, or a strong Pokemon?”

Trying to resist the urge to ruin my new machine with a very unpleasant concoction the butterflies were brewing, I copy and pasted the third choice and hit enter again. Hey, I didn’t want to be shallow any more than the next guy, but I was fairly new, and winning matters. To my relief, a thank you message popped up, followed by a map leading me to a corner of the room.

Chris had finished his when I looked over, but his map showed a separate booth. I pointed this out, and we parted ways after casual goodbyes. And so I began the long march to my first Pokemon.

As I drew nearer to the small, inconspicuous card table in the corner, the butterflies started squeezing and pulling my stomach. Worse yet, they were reproducing. As I felt like I was going to explode from the sheer volume of squirming insects, I finally made it to the table.

The wiry woman sitting at the table handed me a Pokeball wordlessly. Obviously, these people liked to keep you in suspense, but I didn’t care. It was more fun this way. Breathing quickly, I pressed the expand button on the Pokeball. The cold plastic slid smoothly through my hand as it grew bigger, and it grew just heavy enough to be easy to throw. I smashed it to the ground, and it bounced back to me. But I only caught it subconsciously as I watched the red light protruding from it taking shape.

The light separated into two lumps, one with two short legs and arms, the other with a long snout. The scarlet light slowly faded to a blue matching my Pokedex on the top, and a creamy beige on the bottom. As the creature became solid, spiked flames protruded from its back. “Cyndaquil!” it squeaked excitedly.

I had never even thought about getting a Cyndaquil before. Heck, if you had asked me if I wanted one, I might have even said no! But at this moment, it felt so perfect, I couldn’t help but laugh airily. Resisting the urge to provide an encore of my earlier gleeful singing and dancing, if you could call it that, I picked up the little ball of fur.

“Hi, little guy,” I said playfully, “I’m gonna be your trainer now, okay?”

He seemed to be ignoring me, and a mischievous smile darted across his face as his did a sort of wriggling motion to escape my hands and drop to the floor. There he began happily running in circles around my feet.

“Does he have a name?” I asked the wispy woman.

She shook her head. “No,” she replied, “But you can name him. Oh, and you can look up data on him in your new Pokedex, if you want.”

I thanked her, scooped up the now-incredibly-dizzy Cyndaquil, and forced my way back into the crowd to find Chris. He seemed to still be at his booth, so I decided to look up Cyndaquil in my Pokedex, like the thin lady suggested. I was surprised by the huge wealth of information it gave me after I scanned him, but I just scrolled down to the general section.

“Cyndaquil were originally offered as starters during the second period, just before the introduction of the third period starters and the resurrection of the first period. Although they are now considered normal wild Pokemon, they are still popular among trainers. Cyndaquil are Fire-type, but they learn many different moves.

One of the many surprising qualities of Cyndaquil and its evolutions its ability to roll into a tight ball, and still have full control over their flame glands and sight. No one knows how they manage to change direction or even see when in this position, but they are experts at it. Because of this, they are also very speedy Pokemon.

Moves include…”

I closed the Pokedex program as it began heading into the realm of the boring. In my arms, Cyndaquil started squirming to get free, and I was afraid he might scorch me if we didn’t get out of here soon. But I still had no idea where Chris was, and I didn’t know how to find the booth he was going to in my Pokedex. Unless…

I opened up the mapping program, and said into the speakers, “Christopher Vargus.” Instantly, a map showed up, with a large red dot next to an unfamiliar booth. I worked my way through the crowd, Cyndaquil still in my arms, until I saw Chris in the distance. He seemed to still be without a Pokemon, although he was accompanied by a kid just over half his height. As I got closer, I saw that the “kid” was also pale bluish-green, with three strange yellowish raised stripes on its head, and naked. I laughed as I realized that he was really a Machop, apparently Chris’s starter.

He spotted me, and motioned for me to get into line with him. I did so, and we began talking excitedly, our Pokemon cautiously approaching each other. It turned out that he had answered questions heavily favoring an extremely physical Pokemon with three stages, and that he was happy with his starter. I wasn’t surprised at all at his choice, and he didn’t seem surprised about mine, either. “I always knew you’d get something that could roll into a ball,” he insisted, “It was either this, Sandshrew, or Phanpy.”

He also told me that the line we were in was for our schedules, which could technically be sent wirelessly to our Pokedexes, but they felt it was more “personal” this way. If by “personal,” they meant “shoved up against a whole bunch of smelly, sweaty kids,” then, yeah, it was the most personal thing I had ever experienced.

Finally, we reached the front of the line, where a flowery-smelling woman with incredibly fake looking brown hair which was pulled up over her head in a tight bun gave us our schedules. She also leaned in and whispered, “Oh, and Professor Donague would like to meet with you to discuss a few things, when you have time. Your Pokedex will show you the way…”

Chris and I exchanged wary glances. If it was just me getting called into the office, it could have been for my test scores, but both of us… I decided not to worry about it. We couldn’t be in trouble so quickly. After all, school hadn’t even started.

“Wait a minute,” said Chris, “Two periods on here just say elective! I didn’t choose anything, did you?”

I shook my head. “Maybe we’re supposed to enter it into the Pokedex?” I suggested.

He shrugged, and we both popped open our Pokedexes and typed in a quick question about electives. It turned out that we had eight electives to choose from, but only two of them were recommended for sixth graders. We both figured that it would be best to take the recommended ones, so we entered in our choices, and our new schedules popped onto the screen. To our surprise, they were exactly the same.

Period 1: Training – Students learn advanced techniques to train their Pokemon in specific areas. Sixth graders have a very general curriculum, with no focus on any certain areas. Taught by: Professor Hollenberry

Period 2: Team Maintenance – Students learn miscellaneous team maintenance tasks, including proper use of the PC storage system, team relationships in general, and capturing Pokemon. Taught by: Professor Ott-Bales

Periods 3 and 4: Battling Techniques – Students learn advanced battling techniques, in both theory and practical lessons. Taught by: Professor Forthwith

Period 5: Wilderness Navigation – Students learn basic wilderness survival and navigation methods to aide them on their journeys. Taught by: Professor Crispe

Period 6: Technology – Students learn basic to advanced usage of all Pokemon-related technology in regular use. Taught by: Professor Warmull

Period 7: Breeding and Grooming – First semester, students will receive a Pokemon egg that they will identify and care for. Second semester, students will learn and practice basic grooming techniques to keep their Pokemon in tip-top shape. Taught by: Professor O’ Donnel

All the classes sounded interesting, and I would have stopped to look up more information on them, but first we had our meeting with the principal. Chris didn’t seem quite as nervous as I was, since he had been through this before, but I had never really gotten trouble. Chris quietly showed me the map to the principal’s office, and we set off through a hallway on the left.

The halls were the same creamy color as Cyndaquil’s fur, while the floor was a lush green carpet that reminded me of grass. The air was quiet and thin, and it seemed to be hard to breathe, although I’m sure it was just the nerves. We followed the simple instructions on the Pokedex until we arrived at a large oak door marked “Professor Orville L. Donague.”

Before I could do anything, Chris knocked nonchalantly on the door. A booming voice from within called out, “Come in!”

The door slid open with a creak, and we entered a small office decorated exactly the same as the hallway, but with desks and tables lining the walls. Sitting behind the desk in the middle of the room was a middle-aged man with a trimmed mustache. He looked rather stiff, but he had the energy and vigor of a retired Pokemon trainer. “Ah,” he said, “Please sit. Ms. L’Art will be joining us shortly.”

I didn’t dare convey my confusion to Chris, but simply sat in one of the comfortable, poofy chairs across from Professor Donague. He said nothing, just smiled at us as we sat there. The tension was about to reach a breaking point when another knock arrived on the door. At Professor Donague’s, signal, the person walked in.

It was a girl about the same height as me, but with the same skin tone as Chris. She had a warm face and soft eyes, and her bright red hair would have looked unusual on anyone, but even more so on a person of her ethnicity. “Hello,” she said cordially and then turned to us, “I’m Scarlett.”

I nodded my head and introduced myself, as did Chris. She sat herself in the chair next to Chris, and he shifted uncomfortably. At least we knew we weren’t in trouble, since she wouldn’t have been so polite if she was acting as a witness or something.

“You are probably wondering why you are here,” began Professor Donague, “And you have probably notice that you have all of your classes together, along with a certain boy named Kid Jackson.”

We had actually not noticed that Scarlett and Kid were in all of our classes, but we nodded anyway. “You three have been chosen, based on many factors,” he continued, “To… ‘watch over’ Kid.”

I saw the visible confusion on Chris’s face, although Scarlett didn’t let on. “Let me explain,” he said, “You see, Kid, like so many others, has a problem called autism.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about, as Scarlett obviously did. Chris seemed to know the general gist. “When we accepted him for his exceptional battling skills,” he elaborated, “We foresaw certain problems among him and other students. Therefore, we set forth to find a way to keep him company and safe. We decided you three would be best for this job, for many reasons I will not disclose. You may be wondering what exactly this will entail. Well, it won’t be too much of a hassle for you; all you must do is include him in group projects, maybe help him a little when he is confused. There is no need to baby-sit him or anything like that, just… befriend him. Is this agreeable?”

Chris shrugged, and Scarlett and I nodded decisively. He seemed ready to dismiss us, so we didn’t ask any questions. “You may leave,” he said, the tension gone from his voice, “Your Pokedexes will show you to your dormitories. Oh, and, Hunter? Congratulations on your two perfect scores.”

I thanked him smugly then, walked out the door, Chris and Scarlett trailing behind. We walked in silence together until we were a distance away from the door, then stopped and leaned against the wall. “That was weird,” joked Chris.

“I kind of expected something like that when I saw I had so many kids in all of my classes,” said Scarlett as if she had known us forever.

“Yeah,” I added, “I kind of knew something was up. It doesn’t really sound hard at all, it’ll just be sort of… odd, I mean, working with someone who has autism.”

Scarlett shrugged, but Chris remained silent. The short conversation was obviously over, so I pulled out my Pokedex and asked it about my dormitory. A map flashed onto the screen, along with a message that said my roommate would be, as I had hoped and expected after the meeting, Chris. I showed him, and he seemed relieved. “I thought we would be bunking with that Kid kid,” he explained.

Scarlett had already pulled up the map to her dormitory, and it was on the opposite side of the school, so we left her with a quick goodbye. Once again we returned to monotonous tromp through the halls, constantly looking down at the Pokedex to assure the right direction. Finally, we arrived at an oak door much like the one to the principal’s office, but with “Dormitory 107” written across it. I hastily followed the Pokedex’s directions as it told me to swipe it across the electronic lock, and the door swung open.

The room was bigger than my one at home, although not by much. It was carpeted by carpet like the one outside, except it was cobalt, like my Pokedex. The walls were the same beige, we suited me fine. It was furnished well, with a dresser for each of us, along with a bed. Attached was a small bathroom with a shower. It wasn’t luxurious, but it was very, very good.

“I call the bed on the left!” shouted Chris, leaping on top of it. For some reason, I decided I wanted it, and started wrestling him off of it. Finally, after a long, hard battle, we decided on a compromise: since they had already brought up our bags, whoever’s stuff was in the dresser closest to it would get it. I won, and shoved him off as soon as I saw.

Since I got the bed, Chris got the first shower, and I swear he took a long time on purpose. In the meantime, I called out Cyndaquil, who had been automatically recalled when I went into the halls before. He looked dizzy still, as if he had been running around in circles inside his Pokeball. I must have guessed right, since he began running circles around the room.

As I watched him, I realized that he needed a name. I sat thinking for a while, watching him spin around in circles. He finally seemed to figure out that he could twist himself into a ball and spin in circles, which just made me all the more dizzy. Suddenly, I had an idea. “Hey, Cyndaquil,” I shouted, wondering if he could even hear me when he was in a ball like that, “How do you like the name Dizzy?”

He did a weird sort of bounce in the air, and flames spurted from his back, reforming him into his normal shape. He landed on the ground, a look of repulsion on his face. I laughed at the expression, but went on to try and think of a new name. After Spin, Circle, and other such desperate names were all rejected, I finally came up with one I thought was worthy. “Twist?” I asked skeptically.

A grin spread across his face, and he happily returned to his bouncing and rolling. Twist it was. I tried entering it into my Pokedex, but it didn’t really seem to have any function for doing so, so I guessed it wasn’t that important. Even after all that, Chris was still in the shower, so I started looking up more stuff on my classes. Most of it was just stuff I had already assumed, but a couple of things interested me.

Apparently, at the start of every year each student gets a new Pokemon. Seventh and eighth grader’s Pokemon are decided based upon their teacher’s recommendations, but sixth graders have to take that weird little test. Also, all students are supposed to get a new Pokemon at the beginning of each semester. The egg sixth graders hatch during their first semester in Breeding and Grooming, the Pokemon seventh graders catch in Team Maintenance, and eighth graders… All it said about eighth graders was that it was a surprise. I guessed it was probably some thing where they turn you loose in the wilderness or assess your tests or something.

Before I could find any other features, I heard the shower turn off, and Chris came out a minute later, wrapped in a towel. I asked if he was done, and he nodded, so I went in. By the time I came out, he was sitting on his bed with Machop.

“I named him Strike!” he exclaimed upon my appearance.

“Clever,” I said sarcastically, dodging the pillow flying at my head.

We stayed up later than we should have looking at all of our classes and the things we could do. Chris found some weight-training room where he could work out with Strike until he was an eighth grader and could take the special Fight-type specific class. I found a few speed courses where Twist could work on his weird rolling routine, and we both planned on visiting the arenas open for student use.

As I finally lay in bed, ready to fall asleep, Twist curled up at my heels, I couldn’t help but think that tomorrow would definitely be a very good day.

Entei Master
4th October 2005, 12:26 AM
Wow... This is my favourite fan fic so far.. I like it good work

4th October 2005, 12:27 AM
Reviewing as requested...

Period 7: Breeding and Grooming – First semester, students will receive a Pokemon egg which they will identify and care for.

that they will identify and care for.

“Hello,” she said cordially, then turned to us, “I’m Scarlett.”

and then turned to us,

There is no need to babysit him or anything like that, just… befriend him.


“When we accepted him for his exception battling skills,”


, “we foresaw certain problems among him and other students.

Capitalize we.

Well, I found a few mistakes, but that’s no big deal. I also didn’t find anything wrong with your description or anything. Right now the plot doesn’t seem to big, but I’m sure it’ll get much better; plots normally do.

The only thing you may need to watch out for is your main character. His scores seem good; too good. I can understand scoring very high on something, but perfect scores on everything? That’s a little unreal, as is getting to room with his best friend. Neither are that big of a thing, but just watch your character development with him. If he gets great scores, make sure he’s not so great elsewhere.

Also, could you try not to use black text? I'm using the dark skin and it makes things hard to read, so others may have that problem.

4th October 2005, 12:38 AM
I'll fix the mistakes in a second. The "babysit" one I was actually aware of, but I decided to leave it... for some reason. I also believe the "we" does not need to be capitalized, since it is a continuation of a sentence, but the person who taught me that was an idiot in the first place, so I'll have to look it up.

As for the MC, I have a couple of reasons for that. The reason both of his test scores were perfect... Well, they really weren't that hard of tests. The first one is just covering fifth grade math and reading, while the second is things like type weaknesses and resistances, and status conditions. The main character is supposed to be smart; that comes in later with the introduction of Anston's Three Laws of Pokemon Battling (the first is that Pokemon battlign is not an independent skill, to give you an idea). The reason they bunked together is because of their little thing with Kid (you'll find out why they were chosen later).

Also, the black text was an accident. It got all messed up when I switched it from Word to here, and I was trying to fix it. I'll just switch to the simpler text editor so I can fix it...

Wondrous Sableye
4th October 2005, 12:47 AM
Cool. I've been looking for an Academy-based fic, and this seems to do just great. You didn't overdo the five-dollar words(something I find incredibly difficult XD), you put in an interesting plot bit with including an 'extra assignment' in Kid, and I do believe that if Sableye is Kid's Poké, I'm going to enjoy this terrificly.

Good start, glad I noticed the link early, nothing's worse than pulling an all-nighter reading all the chapters. XD

4th October 2005, 12:56 AM

You scare me. I am completely serious. How the heck did you know? Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoy it, but... *shudders*

I'm still cleaning up the chapter, and I decided to completely rewrite Chapter 2 because I went into summarize mode, which is, IMO, a horrible think to do this early into the fic.

Wondrous Sableye
4th October 2005, 1:43 AM
XD Ever seen Sableye's Colosseum attack animation? It twitches all over the place, then does this crazy little 'I'm going to eat your brains' grin…XD

XD Plus, what with Sableye being my favorite Pokémon, I naturally make these kind of twisted connections…XD

4th October 2005, 1:57 AM
Oh, and I just realized that the banner in my sig might be a little clue. :P I suppose you can guess what Scarlett has now...

The second chapter will be up today or Sunday, since I'm going to Disneyland for a few days. It will have at least their first class, which will be described more than the rest, since it involves a lot of interesting info on Kid...

Wondrous Sableye
4th October 2005, 2:00 AM
That too. XD

Hoorah, a class!

Yyyeah, I'll just stop with the posting 'til next chapter so as to avoid descending into the realms of processed meat.

6th October 2005, 12:01 AM
i love your story.Cant wait for 2 chapter. is totildile gonna be in it. ;158;

6th October 2005, 2:56 AM
I suppose you can guess what Scarlett has now...

Yep. :p I just read the first chapter. Pretty damn good story! I loved it. I've never read a pokemon school story and I'm glad one was finally made. I guess one of the reasons I was so hyped up about this story was cuz I just started watching Naruto (Which has the characters in a ninja school.). Anyway, it's a great story and I think I'll be sticking with this story to the very end. :)

Although, you coulda did a few more different things... Hunter coulda been paired with someone else besides Chris. It coulda been someone who hasn't appeared in the story yet or it coulda been Kid. (But then that mighta been too ironic) It woulda been funny if he got paired up with Scarlett, but I'm guessing this school only pairs up boys with boys and girls with girls for obvious reasons. :p

Also Hunter gettin Cyndaquil was good, but I think he shoulda gotten a weak or underrated pokemon. Since he was so nervous earlier, he shoulda rushed through the questions in the pokedex and answered anything. Then he would received the pokemon and realize that it was one of those 'weak' pokemon and Chris and the other trainers who noticed what pokemon he got could laugh at him. He'd want to get a new pokemon, but the people wouldn't let him change his pokemon, dus leaving him stuck with the pokemon for the entire year and beyond. Which coulda be interestin to see how he dealed with that pokemon and got over not liking it because it was considered one of the weak pokemon creatures.

But... Who cares! The story kicked *** and I loved readin it! Good job, Jack and I can't wait for chapter 2 and beyond! BTW what's the rating of this story, you neva gave one.

I give the story a 9/10

After rambling about the story for this long it kinda makes me look like your biggest fan. :p

Edit: Jeez! The story just started and it's already got 5 stars! 0_0

6th October 2005, 5:16 AM

This is a pretty cool idea for a fic, and gives lots of ideas for an in-game trainer school *hinthintifthisisdarkdog*

Good work so far. I only read half, but I gotta go!

9th October 2005, 5:18 PM
Well, I'm back from Disneyland, and I must say, I'm quite surprised. I never expected this fic to be that popular, and yet it had just as many replies as the time when I PMed a whole bunch of people asking for reviews (hey, I was young!). Thanks for the reviews everybody, but some of you... (http://dragonflycave.com/butterfree/reviewing.aspx)

MR.King: No. And in regards to your PM... No.

whit19: Thanks for the review! Your first two points are absolute impossibilities when you consider the plot points that the reader does not know yet, specifically having to do with a certain word starting with c. If you're confused, then good; I don't want to give too much away.

I'm glad you like the story, and I hope you'll keep reading. Oh, and I'm just as surprised as you about the rating...

Matt: Corn chips.

Yeah, it's me. If this were to be an in-game school, it would probably have to be a sort of seperate realm, but it could work. I've already got pages and pages of information on the school, and very carefully planned lessons. Of course, I'd rather have complete control over the game based off of it, so I wouldn't really want it in PT...

Anyways, I'm off to redo the banner and write Chapter 2. Hopefully it will be up by tonight, but I'm not making any promises.

9th October 2005, 8:56 PM
Your first two points are absolute impossibilities when you consider the plot points that the reader does not know yet, specifically having to do with a certain word starting with c. If you're confused, then good; I don't want to give too much away.

Yeah, I'm confused. Wanna tell me in a pm? :p

10th October 2005, 5:02 AM
I'm sure you're thinking of some of the main characters being you-know-whats, and I'll go ahead and tell you right now, since it comes up in the next chapter anyway; Scarlett and Chris are. But it is more complicated than that, as you shall see in future chapters.

I'm writing chapter two right now, and so far it looks really good. It has some very interesting information, and quite a bit of foreshadowing, although you'll only be able to spot some of it. Many of the characters introduced here will show up again, and will be fairly important, but are not even close to major characters.

10th October 2005, 5:52 PM
Yay! Chapter 2! And we get to see Chris get majorly PO'd! Yay!

Yes, there is a lot of cussing in this chapter. A ton. But I'm letting the censors get the parts I even had the guts to write, so it shouldn't be an issue. Oh, and before you go griping about the censors, let me tell you; you're better off. Chris gets kind of creative in his cussing in later chapters. Anyways, enjoy.

The Pokemon Academy
Chapter 2

I gritted my teeth, grinding my heel into the dirt path in anticipation. A single bead of anxious sweat rolled down my forehead, urged by the dry wind that blew through the low trees, but I neither blinked nor shook it away. At my right, Twist laid, every muscle in his body as tense as mine. I knew that to my left my opponent, the tall, pale, strange-looking kid who I had been assigned to race, was in the same position, along with his equally strange Mr. Mime.

Just as I was thinking about wiping the sweat from my brow, I heard the whistle blow in the distance. Instantly, Twist curled into his familiar ball shape and began rolling down the path at an incredible speed. As quickly as my human reflexes would allow, I sprang up and propelled myself forward with the balls of my feet, kicking up dust behind me. The crowd beside me was just a blur as I sped past, concentrating solely on the finish line fifty yards ahead of me.

Twist was about ten yards in front of me, and I still had a slight lead on the goofy guy. He was fast, and he almost outran me, but before I even had a chance to think about giving up, Twist crossed the finish line. As elated screaming reached my ears, I risked a glance toward the Pokemon side. The Mr. Mime was bounding clumsily around ten yards from the finish line, obviously far slower than me and his owner.

I regained hope, and with it came energy. Putting in my last ounce of effort, I sprinted towards the finish line, eyes squeezed shut. Even before I had realized I won, I heard the shouting. It seemed a thousand times louder than I knew it was, and yet it didn’t seem too loud at all. At that moment I felt the total elation of winning, and I liked it.

“Good job!” shouted Professor Hollenberry in her light, singsong voice, “Derek, keep at it. With a little training, your Mr. Mime might get as good as you. I’m sure you can see the benefits of going through the courses with your Pokemon, after that race. Next!”

I sighed as I came rushing back to reality. It was Training, my first class of the day, and so far it had been great. Professor Hollenberry, who turned out to be the wispy woman from the registration, had chosen a few kids to try out the competition courses, and I had been assigned to the Beginning Speed Course. I felt a little sorry for the Derek kid and his Mr. Mime, but the happiness of winning outweighed it by far.

Sweating like a lobster, I pushed my way through the packed class to where Chris and Scarlett were standing. They seemed deeply absorbed in their conversation, but they noticed me as soon as I came close. “Great race!” said Scarlett, “For a second I thought he was gonna get ahead of you!”

“Yeah,” said Chris, “But Twist kicked a-“

“I get it, Chris,” I interrupted, “I’m surprised you guys even had time to watch my race with all that chatting! You act like you’ve known each other for years!”

They exchanged odd glances. “Well, it’s not like I’m long lost or anything…” said Scarlett in a lightly sarcastic, but still very confused voice. Upon seeing the look of bewilderment on my face, she suddenly adopted a furious expression and turned towards Chris. “You didn’t tell him?” she demanded in an assuming voice.

“Well,” said Chris, shifting uncomfortably, “You know how those topics sort of seem to… You know… Lead to each other…”

“You mean you didn’t tell him any of it?” she yelled, her face contorted in rage, “You’ve known him for practically all of your life and you’ve never told him?”

He seemed to break down under her glare, and turned to me sheepishly. “Hunter,” he said miserably, “Scarlett is my cousin.”

“Okay,” I said, nervous after Scarlett’s seemingly unwarranted outburst, “But why is that such a big deal? I don’t get it.”

He shrugged, and Scarlett stalked off, fuming and muttering something about getting ready for the next competition. As soon as she was out of earshot, Chris continued the conversation. “I just have a lot of cousins, that’s all,” he said, obviously holding something back.

“Who cares about that?” I asked, still as much in the dark as I was a second ago.

“I mean a lot,” he repeated, “Most of my friends at school were actually my cousins.”

“Like who?” I asked.

“Drew, Jordan, Melissa, Shelby, Miguel, and a couple of other kids. But you get the idea,” he said.

I was a little surprised, but it didn’t really affect me at all, so I dropped the subject. We talked about the race for a while, when Chris suddenly looked down at the watch on his Pokedex. “Damn,” he swore, “I gotta get ready for my competition. I’m facing some kid on the battling course. I’ll see you later!”

With that, he ran off through the crowd. I followed soon after, and made my way towards where Scarlett was standing, leaning over the edge of a stadium divided into two sections. She was muttering under her breath, but she plastered on a fake smile when I approached. “Do you know who Chris is facing?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No. I don’t even really know what they have to do.”

We didn’t have to wait long, as the competitors walked onto the field immediately. Opposite Chris was a tall boy with dirty blonde hair scattered over his face. His vacant blue eyes stared off into the distance. When Chris stuck out his hand, as was customary, the boy just ignored him. Annoyed, Chris backed into his corner, and the boy did the same.

“Oh my god!” exclaimed Scarlett, “Hunter, he has to fight Kid!”

I didn’t believe that they would actually do that, but not only were her suspicions confirmed, but it even went beyond that. As they called out their Pokemon, Chris his Machop and Kid his Sableye, they stepped into the second arena, away from the Pokemon. Murmurs spread through the crowd as everyone realized that they had to actually fight each other while their Pokemon did battle.

“He could hurt him!” panicked Scarlett, “Kid is probably so fragile, and…”

“Scarlett,” I reassured her, “Autism is a mental disease. For all we know, Kid might be strong as a Machop, and fight like a Hitmonlee.”

She didn’t say anything, but her nervousness was apparent. All eyes in the stadium were on Kid and Chris, and when the whistle blew, Chris rushed forward. He pulled back his fist, thrusting it forward at Kid’s face, although he was obviously holding back. But it didn’t matter, as Kid moved his head slightly, causing Chris’s punch to miss completely.

Surprised, even amused, Chris went in for another blow. Again, Kid simply ducked out of the way. Blow after blow, punch after punch, Kid kept dodging. Whether he had to swerve to the side, duck down low, or even spin out of the way, he evaded all injury. I almost laughed from pure shock when I saw he still had the same vacant look in his eyes, and he didn’t seem to notice Chris at all.

Chris was angrier than I had ever seen him by now, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him foaming at the mouth. Performing a quick spin, he dropped down low for a kick to the shins while attempting to punch him in the face at the same time. Kid then did the single most amazing thing I had ever seen in my entire life. He jumped high enough to avoid the kick, while at the same time ducking to evade the punch. He seemed to stay suspended in the air for an eternity. Finally, he reached out with his hand, grabbing Chris’s wrist. Kid himself winced at the touch, showing his first sign of emotion the entire battle. As the amazed crowd watched on, he flipped Chris onto his back with just that one hand, where he lay, whimpering in pain and shock.

The entire class was completely quiet, and Kid didn’t move at first. As his Sableye came floating up from the unnoticed and unconscious Machop, Kid began walking towards the exit, the sounds of his shoes against the pavement echoing across the field. Once the last speck of purple from his Sableye had disappeared, the crowd let out its collective breath. Confused muttering, even louder than before, broke out.

I spotted Professor Hollenberry in the corner of the stadium. She was smirking, as if she knew this was going to happen, and she didn’t bother trying to quiet the class. Instead, she just walked over and helped a humiliated Chris off of the ground, and aided him in his slow limp out of the stadium.


“Did I look that bad?”

The words flashed across my Pokedex’s instant messenger system during Team Maintenance class. We were supposed to be accessing our Pokemon storage systems, but I had already figured out how to do it last night, so I responded to Chris’s message.

“Yes. But why does it matter, really? It’s not like that counted towards our grade.”

“I have a reputation,” came Chris’s quick reply, “and I don’t need it smashed apart by some little retard.”

“Chris!” flashed a message from someone with a handle of RedGirl, “Don’t talk about him like that! You’re just mad because you lost to him!”

I typed in the initials for laugh out loud as Chris’s reply came as a very rude gesture described within asterisks. Scarlett typed in one last angry smiley before signing out, leaving me to talk to Chris semi-privately.

“Seriously, dude,” I typed, “You shouldn’t worry about it. No one takes you that seriously anyway. j/k”

“Hilarious [/sarcasm],” came his indignant reply, “But I’m telling you, I’m going to beat that little ****** by the end of the year.”

The messenger system blanked out the cuss word, but I knew what he was saying; it was probably his favorite word of all time, although usually he used it playfully, not seriously, like he was now. He signed out after that, just as the bell rang. Shaking my head and sighing, I closed my Pokedex.

“Don’t forget your homework!” shouted Professor Bald-fat-and-boring Ott-Bales, “Organize your PC boxes by whatever criteria you want! Due tomorrow at the beginning of the period!”


My mouth, along with every other one in the class, hung open in surprise. I was sitting in my seat near the front in Battling Techniques, my eyes fixed on the stiff, starched, and pressed Professor Forthwith. I couldn’t believe my ears, but I knew I had heard correctly.

“Yes, you heard correctly,” said Professor Forthwith in his slightly drawling voice, “We will not be having any practical lessons, at least not right away. It is up to you to earn that privilege. I have had many classes who have had theory lessons all year, as they just never earned anything beyond it. But I sincerely hope you will.”

He let this shocking news soak in, and I am positive that the class would have been full of whispered conversations and hurried instant messages if it wasn’t for Professor Forthwith’s strange commanding presence that kept us all quiet. Still, I managed to share a disbelieving look with both Chris and Scarlett.

Surprisingly, he didn’t dwell on the subject, and jumped right into the real curriculum right away. “Our first benchmark,” he explained, “is to explore and understand the meaning of Anston’s Three Laws of Pokemon Battling. Today we will be studying Anston’s first law. This law reads simply, ‘Pokemon battling is not an independent skill.’”

It turned out to be quite an interesting lesson. Partway through the lecture he gave examples of the different types of skills which could influence Pokemon battling. He proved to be very perceptive of people’s personalities and attributes when he said, “Right now I can look across the classroom and spot several students who I know will be great Pokemon battlers someday. Mr. Olsen, here, has the raw intelligence necessary for good strategy, while Ms. L’Art has the athleticism. Why, even Mr. Vargus’s social skills and Mr. Dailey’s… ‘Unique flair’ will help them and their Machop and Mr. Mime succeed. Of course, the best may very well be Mr. Jackson here, as autism has a way of… bringing out certain talents, especially Pokemon battling.”

I was shocked that he was so blatant about Kid’s autism, but I lost track of it in the muddy river of my thoughts as we were allowed to start our homework. We were to type up what we considered our primary talent which aided our battling skills and an explanation of why we thought so. That comprised the first section. In the second we were supposed to prove it somehow. I ended up writing a rather long essay flaunting my vocabulary, and copying my test scores and IQ to prove it. I didn’t see what Chris or Scarlett did, as I was too distracted by Kid’s.

He had done it on his Pokedex, like the rest of us, and the first section was just a fairly average statement that it was his speed and strength that helped him. But the second section was absolutely amazing. He had drawn, using only his rather lame laptop mouse, mind you, a perfectly detailed depiction of his fight with Chris. I would have been amazed that he even remembered everything, down to the faces in the crowd and the antics of Machop and Sableye in the background, but he rendered it in such amazing, unflawed detail, that I couldn’t help but stare.

My wide-eyed amazement was interrupted by a loud crack from the other side of the room. Professor Forthwith was walking slowly away from Chris’s desk, yardstick in hand. Chris was rubbing his head sorely, and whimpering under his breath. He looked confused, and he shot a nasty glare at Professor Forthwith. I didn’t dare try to catch his eye, and instead just returned to my work.


Chris was cussing up a storm, not even paying any attention to what he was shoving greedily from his plate to his mouth. It was lunchtime, and I was sitting at a table with him, Scarlett, and Kid, like Professor Donague had requested. Chris was still angry about Professor Forthwith hitting him with the ruler, and he was expressing it without holding back.

“I don’t know what the **** the ****** was thinking!” he shouted, stuffing some steak into his mouth, “I was just sitting there, writing the **** assignment, when he hit me in the ******* head! I wasn’t doing anything ******* wrong!”

Scarlett looked doubtful. “Are you sure, Chris? You were IMing during Maintenance, maybe you left the messenger open.”

I shook my head. “I saw him sign off.”

Chris broke out into a stream of cussing again, only to be abruptly stopped by Kid. “I like him,” he said, his voice light and airy, like it didn’t get much use.

We waited for more, but it never came. It should have been strange to hear his voice for the first time, but it seemed so natural, we didn’t really notice. As soon as we were sure he wouldn’t say anything else, Chris started in again. Just when I was thinking that his lip would start bleeding from all the “f” sounds, he switched to a hush whisper.

“And this little ****** didn’t make it any better, either,” he said, assuming Kid was out of earshot, “I’m going to get c-“

“Chris,” warned Scarlett, “Don’t say things like that.”

He rolled his eyes, but switched back to cussing at Professor Forthwith. I sighed, and tried to drown out his voice in mashed peas. Only three more periods, I thought to myself, And then he’ll shut up. Three more periods.

Hoenn Warrior
10th October 2005, 7:59 PM
HAHAHAHAH. Chris is just toooo funny. I just loved this chapter. Seems like Kid has a few interesting qualities besides his autism. Hope Chris gets his revenge on him. Cant wait to see your next chapter. Hope to see Kid take on Scarlett and Hunter.

10th October 2005, 8:03 PM
LMAO! Great chapter! It was just as good as the first. Then again I think I like this one more.

I liked the fight between kid and Chris and I especially liked it when Chris was cussin like crazy.

It was also cool how you had the characters IM'n each other. It was funny to see lol, j/k, [/sarcasm], and etc. You described the chat very well. :p

There's was only one typo I saw.

Just when I was thinking that his would lip would start bleeding

obviously the first would can be taken out. :p But it's just a typo cuz you were typin too fast. I make typos all the time.

The endin of Hunter thinkin Only three more periods, I thought to myself, And then he’ll shut up. Three more periods. was hilarious!

I want more damnit! Keep it up!


BTW, what cuss word is this? ****** I thought it woulda been bit** but that's too short. The only other would I could think of was fu**er. :p

10th October 2005, 8:24 PM
Thanks for the positive reviews, guys! The second chapter always makes me nervous, especially when the first got good reviews, but I suppose I did okay! Chris was meant to be funny in this chapter, but, again, you'll see a little bit more meaning behind his behaviour in later chapters.

Oh, and the cuss word... If you don't know it, I won't tell you, but I will tell you that technically the way he used it didn't make any sense, but people tend to use it that way anyway, for some reason... I'm not saying any more than that.

Wondrous Sableye
10th October 2005, 8:27 PM
Huzzah, new chapter!

Excellent chapter, a little short, but still awesome nonetheless. Kid ish teh awesomeness. Wish we could've seen a little more development with Kid, though.

Y'might need to put in a little more character development on the Pokémon soon, though; nothing's more irritating than a fic full of Pokébots.

10th October 2005, 8:32 PM
Yeah, it's shorter. I was going to make it longer by adding the last three periods, but, honestly, it would have been boring. Kid is supposed to be mysterious at this point; I don't want to give too much away. And the Pokemon... Well, they will develop majorly pretty soon, but not too much, and entirely on purpose. It has to do with Anston's Three Laws of Pokemom Battling, again...

11th October 2005, 1:16 AM
Bravo! I read the first chapter thinking maybe there was more, but you hadn't written the second yet. Now that you have, keep it up, they're good.

I'd like to read more about what they learn, though the chat thing was cool, I want to find out why smarts or autism are important to pokemno battling.

Don't worry about the reviews to much, just write the chapter so you like it, then we'll pick it apart for you.

I also agree with the "we need to know more about the pokemon" comment. You've got the humans established, now work on their pokemon.

11th October 2005, 2:47 AM
I actually had some very detailed lessons planned for the very class you were talking about. I guess it's not really a secret, so I might as well tell you Anston's Three Laws of Pokemon Battling.

Law 1: Pokemon battling is not an independent skill.

No matter what anyone may tell you, Pokemon battling is not a skill or talent in itself. Pokemon battling is a game of mind, body, connection, and creativity. Those with high intelligence naturally come up with good strategies, while those who are extremely athletic can make insights into the condition and abilitities of each Pokemon. Those with good social skills will have a natural connection with Pokemon, while those who are creative and unique will have unpredictable and original battling styles.

One of these four traits is needed to succeed in Pokemon battling, and many people have at least one. Those with autism tend to have extremely low social interaction skills with humans, which disguises the other skills they may have. But somehow, and scientists are constantly trying to figure out why, they have an extremely strong link with Pokemon, which allows their true creativity and intelligence to come out in battle.

Law 2: A Pokemon is only as good as its trainer.

Now, this is where Anston's *coughmycough* ideas get rather controversial. You see many people treat Pokemon like humans, and act as if they have personalities as such. The truth is, Pokemon intelligence is animalistic in most areas, especially those related to creativity. While they have rather higher-than-average memories and communication skills, they are, to put it bluntly, rather dumb.

This leads to the above law. If a Pokemon is not smart enough to make desicions, creative, strategic, or even relating to physical weaknesses and such, then it only follows that their trainer must do so for them. This is the primary reason why Pokemon never wiped out humans; they were not smart enough.

Note: This is also why Pokemon may be allowed to battle without their trainers in pure stat-training sessions. Without their trainers to make desicions for them, they must rely on brute force.

Law 3: Close friendships lead to many defeats.

Yes, companionship and partnership with your Pokemon is important, as is empathy. What is to be avoided is very close friendship and sympathy. Think of it this way: would you feel comfortable sending your best friend into battle to fight for you until he got knocked out? This is why it is absolutely impossible to win many battles when you have a close friendship with your Pokemon. After all, your job as a trainer is to make desicions, and if your desicions are clouded by sympathy for your Pokemon, you will never win.

Note: Anston had a rather strange sense of humour and added joke sections to most of theories and laws. He originally had four laws, the fourth being, "Togas and olive wreaths are the garb of champions." Take it as you may.

Hopefully now you can see why I don't want to develop the Pokemon too far. I will do it to an extent, but they don't really have too much of a personality in the first place, and what they do have shouldn't really be known completely by Hunter.

11th October 2005, 4:02 AM
Reading those Laws, what your doing does make sense.
It's a good thing you posted the laws though, cause everyone else has their pokemon smart, and sometimes even able to talk to their trainers.

You know that Law #2 is stated in the cartoon a lot, whenever Ash loses someone says that, and he trains along side the pokemon.

I'm really looking foward to what you do in future chapters, good job.

11th October 2005, 4:01 PM
Don't worry, the Laws will be in the story at some point, so you won't have to read the comments to find out all the information. That would be like only describing my characters in little profiles in the first post. :P

11th October 2005, 11:31 PM
Well, I'll certainly have to say that Chris has character...
I didn't find any mistakes for this chapter, and the whole perfection feeling I was getting from the first chapter seems to have passed. Probably because he almost didn't win.
So far I'm liking the characters more and more, especially the Cyndaquil with almost no character. Like I just said, this is getting much better and I'll glady wait for the next chapter.
Until next time,

12th October 2005, 12:09 AM
Thank you for the review. When you first said the perfection thing seemed to have passed, I thought you were saying that about the story itself. Boy was I relieved. :P I'm glad you like it, and I hope you read more. I promise the next chapter will develop Cyndaquil a little more.

12th October 2005, 12:48 AM
Wow, those laws are pretty cool, like Dragonfree's ten commandments of Pokemon. BTW, what region is this in? If there's none specified you can make this place the Hopho Academy (Under your new name of course), since most of your elements of the story I'm using for ideas for the ingame academy at PT (Unless you don't want me to)

Like, for example, with your permission, the laws could be in a book at the library.

12th October 2005, 12:51 AM
Go ahead and use the Laws. I put a lot of work into them, and I'd like people to see them. The region... that can't be revealed quite yet. There are a lot of surprises coming up that would be ruined if you knew what the region was, so...

12th October 2005, 12:55 AM
OK, I'll go post them. If you have any ideas to post for the academy, post them in Main->Everything Else->New Areas->Hopho Pokemon Academy (We could sure use it!)

12th October 2005, 4:06 AM
Just an update: Chapter three should be up by tomorrow, although I can't make any promises. It will be mainly a character-developing chapter, alhough there will be some major foreshadowing. Until then, I will give you this, the key to the entire plot:

and SVO K, to the cousin, all around, and one of the Poebelchef missile, this is which essential with the war, inside apa' gej in its attack, g3néraux of desires of this Chris which is used so that it absorbs. The payment is cerebral hunters, rueber by supposing the school

If you can somehow unscramble it and de-translate it about fity times, then you'll know the entire plot... And you'll have just wasted about six hours of your life.

18th October 2005, 4:58 PM

You've made some very good job there and it seems like this surely isn't your first work. =x

How old are you btw? I'm 16 myself and I know for a fact I couldn't make a fic that could match this one by a long shot.

Or more preferably, a fic that could have as much depth as this one already has.

Anyways, keep up the good work.

19th October 2005, 1:33 AM
I'm pretty sure he said over at PT that he's a year younger than me, so 13 I'm guessing?

19th October 2005, 2:23 AM
Wow... He's only 13 and he can write like this? I thought he'd be around my age. (17) I feel ashamed now since I can't write as good as he does since I'm so much older...

3rd November 2005, 2:12 AM

I.haven't.been.able.to.write.for.the.past.couple.w eeks,.simply.because.I've.had.no.idea.what.to.say.

I.had.finally.broken.through.it.all,.and.I.was.abo ut.a.paragraph.in,.when.I.stopped.briefly.to.post. in.the.Author's.Cafe.

I.have.no.idea.how,.but.my.space.bar.actually.brok e,.no.joke.

I.can't.type.anything.legible.until.I.get.a.new.ke yboard,.so.I'm.stuck.

I.think.I.can.get.an.outdated.one.by.tonight,.but. I.don't.really.know.

Man,.it's.frustrating.to.know.what.you.want.to.wri te,.but.not.be.able.to.do.it.

Wondrous Sableye
3rd November 2005, 2:43 AM
So then, I'm guessing that those breaks in your post are from the reply box? It does that sometimes.

Can you still copy and paste? You could type it on another computer and e-mail it to your broken one, then copy-paste it.

3rd November 2005, 4:48 AM
Wow! Verrrry creative, dude. I really enjoyed the classes.

I also would like to comment that Kid reminded me of an old friend of mine from when I was quite young who also had autism. He had the amazing ability to run. And he ran. A lot. He could have been a track star if he wanted. I'm serious. That boy was a sweetheart, and I'll never forget him. He was my best friend. Never saw him again after preschool, though. I just hope he's doing okay.... But I digress.

Keep up the awesome work and Kudos all around! I'm gonna subscribe to this fic now. XD Oh, and if it ain't too much trouble, would you review my fanfic when it comes out? Please and Thanks! XD

Oh, btw, my little brother uses that curse-word all the time. It's really funny how he uses it in a similar way to Chris's. Heh...

~Kewlio-Fa'shoolio (aka Suzie)

4th November 2005, 4:19 AM
First off: space bar's fixed (Yay for super-glue and dads!). I'm already a page into chapter three.

Also, thanks for the review. I'm glad you like the fic, since I put a lot of work into it. Kid is a very, very interesting character. I can't really say anything without giving too much away, but let's just say there is more to him than meets the eye, and yet his purpose is very simple and not complex at all. If that confused you, then good. I just hope I can pull off writing the autism effectively, since I've never really known anyone with it before.

Anyway, off to write about Hunter going off and... Well, you'll see.

4th November 2005, 4:25 AM
I think you have a glitch or something. It's been saying there's a new post in this link every few hours, but it's always yours over and over.

Glad your space bars fixed, and looking forward to the next chapter.

+Chaos Blade+
4th November 2005, 6:29 PM
The Pokémon Academy
Written by 'JacksKnight'
Chapters I and II
Review by Denny

iHola, JacksKnight! I am here to review The Pokémon Academy, being that I am bored, want to read Fanfiction and also, being that I need inspiration for my fics. I'm reading this also because I have heard much about it from a few authors saying that the story is Muy bueno or 'very good'.

+Chapter I and II Segments+

After reading Chapter I, I really felt that you were unique in your characters' personality, especially Kid's. I have never read a fic with an autistic character, but it's really great that you can find a character with a 'condition'. Pobre sito. That means 'poor guy' in Spanish. Anyway, onto Chapter I's review.

Description: Description was decent. I didn't find much, but nonetheless, the chapter was good, being that it wasn't about the scenery in this chapter, but more of the characters' personality and mainly around emotional description, don't you agree? Great work on the unique character of 'Kid' - the autistic child.
Scene Description Rating: ++ 2.0/4.0
Emotional Description Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

Length: Not bad, JacksKnight. However, while reading the chapter, I did find things that seemed to be rushed a bit, such as the scene in which the main character, whom I think is a Gary-Stu right now, gets the letter of acceptance. There should have been more excitement and partying going on, because it does not take one day to get to a new school. It takes about a week. A bit rushed means a bit bad, so keep it at a slower pace, all right?
Rating: +++- 3.5/4.0

Characters: You have your Gary-Stu, your Average Joe, an unknown girl who one of those guys might have a crush on soon (I think so) and the autistic child. That's good in a sense, but your Gary-Stu needs to be changed. Like I said, Gary-Stus/Mary-Sues instantly get a 0, but your autistic character gave you some points.
Rating: ++-2.5/4.0

***Get rid of the Gary-Stu personality, and we'll talk points.***

Plotline: This reminds me of Life of a Trainer's (My first fic here - pruned) main character, Trevor. He attended a school and became a trainer. This fic also reminds me of Pokémon Technology, Roxanne's Pokémon Academy from the Anime, Earl's Pokémon Academy from the Games, and the anime, Yu-Gi-Oh GX. Great work on this, as rarely anyone has done a 'Pokémon Academy' before in my career as a Fanfiction Critic.
Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

Other Aspects
School's Ingenuity: This definitely reminds me of Hogwarts in a sense - you get a comrade on your side, you learn the basics of a witch, wizard, or trainer in this case, and you are learning everything about the world around you. You are doing a great job with this - your skills are admirable. If you keep this up, you can win an award. Kudos to you.
Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

Chapter I's APA (Authors' Potential Average) is a total of 16 in five categories, giving you a 3.2 APA, which is not bad. Just get rid of the Gary-Stu and you'll go places.

Chapter II Segment

My rating is still the same. Your fic, in my eyes, deserves a 3.2 APA for now. PM me when the next chapter comes up.

5th November 2005, 4:17 PM
Heh, long review...

Description: Description was decent. I didn't find much, but nonetheless, the chapter was good, being that it wasn't about the scenery in this chapter, but more of the characters' personality and mainly around emotional description, don't you agree? Great work on the unique character of 'Kid' - the autistic child.
Scene Description Rating: ++ 2.0/4.0
Emotional Description Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

Actually, if you know me, you'll realise you're lucky you got that much description. I like to describe a few key factors which can shape your ideas of the place on their own. I think you compared this story to Harry Potter at one point, so I'll do it again; if you look at the description in Harry Potter, it isn't really that detailed. Most of the school is left to your imagination, simply because it would be impossible and boring to describe all of it. That's what I'm shooting for.

Length: Not bad, JacksKnight. However, while reading the chapter, I did find things that seemed to be rushed a bit, such as the scene in which the main character, whom I think is a Gary-Stu right now, gets the letter of acceptance. There should have been more excitement and partying going on, because it does not take one day to get to a new school. It takes about a week. A bit rushed means a bit bad, so keep it at a slower pace, all right?
Rating: +++- 3.5/4.0

That was just supposed to be a little introduction to the story, nothing fancy. Besides, none of his family are really characters right now, or will ever be.

Characters: You have your Gary-Stu, your Average Joe, an unknown girl who one of those guys might have a crush on soon (I think so) and the autistic child. That's good in a sense, but your Gary-Stu needs to be changed. Like I said, Gary-Stus/Mary-Sues instantly get a 0, but your autistic character gave you some points.
Rating: ++-2.5/4.0

***Get rid of the Gary-Stu personality, and we'll talk points.***

I am sorry, but, to me, this is hilariously funny. Why? Characters are definitely one of my strong suits, as you'll see when their personalities start coming out. Unfortunately, many of their personalities are major parts of the plot. Oh, and Hunter does have a lot of strong suits, but he's not a Gary-Stu. You'll see, coming up, that lots of people surpass him in lots of things, and that one of his major flaws is that he... overreacts when this happens. Well, you'll see.

Plotline: This reminds me of Life of a Trainer's (My first fic here - pruned) main character, Trevor. He attended a school and became a trainer. This fic also reminds me of Pokémon Technology, Roxanne's Pokémon Academy from the Anime, Earl's Pokémon Academy from the Games, and the anime, Yu-Gi-Oh GX. Great work on this, as rarely anyone has done a 'Pokémon Academy' before in my career as a Fanfiction Critic.
Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

The plot gets downright convoluted up ahead, so if you think it's good now...

Other Aspects
School's Ingenuity: This definitely reminds me of Hogwarts in a sense - you get a comrade on your side, you learn the basics of a witch, wizard, or trainer in this case, and you are learning everything about the world around you. You are doing a great job with this - your skills are admirable. If you keep this up, you can win an award. Kudos to you.
Rating: ++++ 4.0/4.0

Thank you very, very much. I am glad for the review, and glad for your input. Like I said earlier, the Gary-Stuitis and other character maladies will be cured soon, although, admittedly, not in the next chapter. Once again, thanks for the review!

8th November 2005, 7:02 PM
Congrats for the new keyboard.

*raises thumbs while smiling unsurely*