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DKzM0mA
8th October 2005, 4:48 AM
Herez the remake I promised, and also to new readers, this is my first fanfic ^.^
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Chapter 1: The Challenge
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It was a beautiful day in the region known as Kanto. The sun was shining, the Pidgey were chirping, and the Koffing were coughing. Prof. Oak was happily practicing his poetry, but unfortunately he was not getting any better at it. His assistant, Ron was polishing a nearby Squirtle’s shell. Prof. Oak was very excited today, because Prof. Birch from the Hoenn region was coming over so they could discuss the similarities of the two region’s starter pokemon.

"Ron, make sure that shell shines. I want the starter pokemon to be in perfect condition,” he said.

“Yes sir. I’ve watered Bulbasaur, let Charmander eat some coal to make its fire stronger, and I will make sure you can see yourself in Squirtle's shell,” Ron replied.

Prof. Oak then got up, and brushed some of the dirt on his lab coat off. Suddenly there was somebody at the door knocking. Quickly, Prof. Oak opened the door thinking it was his guest, but surprisingly it was a bunch of kids.

“Hi Prof. Oak, we’re here to get our first pokemon,” one of the kids said.

“Oh no! I forgot the kids were coming today to get their first pokemon and start their journeys!” Oak yelled out.

Then he spotted his guest walking towards the lab. He was accompanied by a boy who was dressed in blue baggy jeans, an orange shirt, with a baggy blue sweater/coat (sorry don’t know what it’s called) over it. He was a fairly tall boy, and had shining sapphire eyes.

“Okay look,” he said whispering to the kids. “I have to talk to that man about the starters, so you kids just wait a little bit,” he said inviting the guest in.

“Samuel, it has been a long time! How’re you doing?” the middle aged man wearing a lab coat asked.

“It’s nice to see you again! I’m doing fine, and who is this young man?” Oak replied.

“This is my son, Rick! He’s here because he always wanted to visit the Kanto region,” he explained.

They all walked in, while the kids waited. They were three kids there, two being boys and the last one being a girl. One of the boys was furious. This boy wore a red cap over his raven black hair, with red streaks in it. His red jacket was worn over his black t-shirt.

“I can’t believe this! I waited all my life to get my first pokemon, but then I have to wait more?!” the boy yelled.

“Calm down Jase, it’s probably only going to be for a minute…” another boy wearing a green shirt, with brown pants said.

“But…!” Jase said before being interrupted.

“Calm down, Jase…” the girl said. She wore a green sunhat, with long red hair, which she wore in a ponytail. She was sitting on a nearby rock with her hands on her pink skirt.

“No way Trish! I’m going in there right now and getting my pokemon!” Jase declared was he walked to the door. As he was about to turn the knob, but then suddenly the two professors barged out yelling at each other. Jase was totally trampled on.

“Look, when Charmander fully evolves it has a pure advantage over a Sceptile and Blaziken!” Oak yelled.

“But an electric attack could clearly defeat it!” Birch yelled back.

“Well a psychic type could murder Blaziken!” Oak scolded.

The kids just watched in the background with dumb expressions on their faces, watching the professors argue like children.

“Umm, sir, can we get our pokemon now?” Trish asked.

“Huh? Yeah, go knock yourselves out,” Oak said.

“Like a Pikachu creaming a Charizard!” Birch yelled out.

The two professors started arguing again. Just as Jase got up from being trampled, the other two trainers ran right over him, knocking him down once more.

Jase got up, and ran to the table where the pokeballs were. There was once left, and it had a little flame picture on it. It contained the fire pokemon, Charmander. Luckily, it was the pokemon Jase had wanted.

He and the other kids grabbed their pokeballs and dexes and left. When they exited the building it seemed that the boy who accompanied Birch had finally spoken up.

“The Kanto starters are pathetic. I can use any pokemon to defeat the whole set,” Rick claimed.

Suddenly Jase jumped in angrily. “Hell no you can’t!” he yelled.

“Who the hell are you?” Rick asked calmly.

“I'm superior when it comes to pokemon!” Jase answered.

“Oh, you want to fight about it?” Rick threatened.

“Bring it on blue boy!” Jase yelled.

Both boys raised their fists, but the professors stopped them. “Okay, we don’t need to resort to violence,” Oak said.

“What have I told you about picking fights Rick?” Birch asked.

Rick just ignored his father by turning his head and putting his hands in his sweater’s pocket. Jase was still fusing, but calmed down.

“So Jase, are you ready for your journey?” Oak asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to beat all the gym leaders and become the champion!” Jase boasted.

“Wait what year is it?” Birch asked as if he discovered something.

“You’re not thinking what I’m thinking are you?” Oak asked in the same tone.

“THAT’S IT!” they both yelled at the same time.

Both Rick and Jase looked confused.

“You two are going to enter the Intercontinental Championships (ICC) this year,” Birch declared.

“Huh…?” Jase asked totally confused. Rick was equally confused.

“The ICC is when trainers from the three regions of Kanto, Johto and Hoenn come together and battle it out to find out which region has the most powerful trainers,” Oak explained.

“It only happens once every ten years, and Hoenn has managed to win for the last three decades,” Birch bragged.

“Well, this year is different. Jase’s father was the Kanto champion for many years, without losing his title. I am confident that Jase will follow his father’s path and become the best!” Oak yelled.

“Damn right!” Jase agreed.

“Let’s make a little twist then…” Birch proposed.

“I’m listening…” Oak replied.

“How about we send the kids to opposite regions, and battle the gym leaders there?” Birch asked.

“You mean send Jase to Hoenn, Rick would stay here?” Oak asked.

“You bet,” Birch answered.

“Well, we can’t do that if the boys don’t want to,” Oak stated. “Jase, are you up for the challenge,” he asked.

“How about you Rick?” Birch asked.

Both the boys nodded agreeing to the terms.

“Now, Rick choose your starter,” Birch said handing him three pokeballs.

Rick stared at the pokeballs for a while, but then walked up to Jase.

“So newbie, what pokemon did you pick?” he asked.

“I picked charmander you ****ing newbie of an idiot! I’m damn hell gonna kill you!” he threatened trying to grab him but Oak held him back.

“Alright, dad I choose Torchic,” he said deciding.

It was on! Jase and Rick their good byes and Jase left with Prof. Birch towards the pier.

At the pier

“You have your own yacht?” Jase asked.

“Yep, that’s how I got here,” Birch answered.

“Jase looked back at his home one last time, and turned to leave but then-

“JASE!” someone called.

Jase looked back to see Trish running. The sun was setting and it was almost time to go.

Trish had finally made it panting from the run. “Jase are you really going?” she asked tearing up. “You promised me that we would travel together…”

“I know, but I have to do this…” Jase said.

“Every since we were kids, you said we would always travel together when we were older. I waited for that day, but now you’re leaving me?” she asked crying.

Jase was silent, and sad, but he had a different reason to go to Hoenn. She then hugged Jase. He was caught off guard by this. He could feel her tears seep into his shirt. He then pushed her off.

“I’m sorry…” Jase said.

She just looked at him with her tear filled orange eyes and ran away. Jase was about to chase her but-

“Jase let her go, we have to go,” Birch said.

Jase was hesitant, but he got on the boat and left towards the region of Hoenn.

SO IT WAS ON! THE ULTIMATE JOURNEY TO CONCLUDE WHICH REASON WAS GREATER THAN THE OTHER. WHICH REGION WILL COME OUT ON TOP? READ TO FIND OUT!
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There’s the re-write! Anyways, those who have read the future chapters, start the crazy guessing! Also thanks to Felix_the _Mutant_Pikachu for being a friendly neighbourhood spell checker.

DKzM0mA
8th October 2005, 6:18 AM
Here’s the remake of the second chapter. Sorry it took so long, I thought I would’ve got my computer back on Friday, but didn’t get it till like Monday at like 6pm. Anywayz here’s the chapter.

Watch out for bloody scenes! PG-15(I think)
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Chapter 2: I will be the best
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Jase got off the boat. It was his first step in the land known as Hoenn. Birch parked up the yacht and got off as well.

“Wasn’t it sunset when we left? It looks like it’s the afternoon,” Jase asked.

“There’s a four to five hour difference between our regions. So we should be able to get to my place just before dark,” Birch explained.

“Alright,” Jase said as they began walking.

Later

“Wow, it’s getting dark, but we haven’t reached your house yet,” Jase stated.

“Don’t worry, it’s just over this hill,” Birch assured.

The two walked up the hill, getting very tired. Finally reaching the top, Jase saw a big house, with a huge backyard.

“That’s your house?!” Jase asked.

“Yep, it’s nice eh? Just renovated it,” Birch bragged.

“Cocky *******…” Jase muttered.

“Hey I smell dinner! Let’s hurry up!” Birch yelled starting to run down the hill.

“Hey, wait up!” Jase yelled, trying to catch up.

“You want to be a champion, but you can’t even keep up with a forty-seven-year-old man?” Birch mocked, still running.

“We’ll see old man!” Jase yelled, passing Birch.

“Oh yeah?!” Birch yelled, passing Jase.

“LET’S GO!” Jase yelled, but ran into a wall right then.

“Yep, you won…” Birch said, giggling.

Jase slowly got back up, and entered the house. It was larger than the average house. It seemed that Jase entered into the kitchen. It was a normal kitchen with the normal things you’d usually find, like a stove, microwave, fridge and a sink.

“Hello there,” a middle aged woman greeted. She was pretty for her age, wearing a green apron, over an orange dress. She had brown eyes, which matched her hair, and wore ruby earrings.

“Oh, hi,” Jase said unsure of who the woman was.

“This is my wife Mary,” Birch introduced. Jase put out his hand and both shook.

“The phone's here, so if you want to make a call, go ahead,” Birch said, pointing at the phone. Jase nodded and sat down, dialing the number as he did.

The screen blinked for a while, but then his mother appeared.

“Jase! How was the trip?” his mother asked.

“I’m good mom. I’ll be leaving tomorrow, so I’m staying at Professor Birch’s house for the night,” Jase explained.

“Oh, okay. Now be strong, and just think of your father whenever you’re in a tight spot! You’ll always be the champion to me. Now be careful!” she said, tearing up. “My little baby’s growing up…” and with that Jase quickly disconnected before tears welled up in his own eyes.

“I guess I should call Prof Oak too,” Jase said while dialing the number. Living in Pallet town all his life, Jase had learned the number of probably everyone in the town.

Jase dialed the numbers and waiting as the phone beeped. Soon after, Prof Oak appeared on the screen.

“Hey Professor Oak!” Jase greeted.

“Ah, hello there Jase! How was the trip over there?” Oak asked.

“It was fine. Birch sure has a bigger house than you. Wow…” Jase mocked.

Oak ignored the comment, and went deep into thought. Jase pondered at what he was thinking.

“Jase…you are sure that you want to go through this? Hoenn can be a dangerous place,” Oak said firmly.

Jase’s grin disappeared. “Of course I want to do this. I want to follow…” Jase didn’t finish his sentence. He stared at the floor. The old man knew what Jase was feeling.

“Well, if you are sure, then I won’t stop you. You’re just like him, truly hotheaded,” Oak teased. “Well, I guess I’ll be going. Good luck on your journey.”

“Wait one more thing!” Jase called out. Jase then kneeled in close to the screen. “Umm… how is Trish doing?” Jase whispered so that no one could hear.

“Trish? I believe she has set out for another region. She looked very mad when she left. She looked like she wanted to kill someone. Whoever it is, they’re probably going to die. You know Trish when she gets mad,” Oak pointed out.

Jase fell anime style, and got back up with a look of fear in his face.

“****! He’s right, she’d butcher someone if she was ****** off. She’s probably freaking coming to Hoenn to hunt me down. I can just imagine it now…"

Inside Jase's brain...

Jase walks down a path with his Charmander beside him.

“Oh Jase…”

Jase turns around to see Trish with a battleaxe in her hand. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her dissect Charmander with a demented smile on her face, blood flying everywhere.

She then hacks Jase’s arm off, and then puts it in a blender and let 'er rip...

Jase’s imagination scared even him. “God damnit, I’m going to die before I even get my first badge!” Jase thought.

“I believe she is headed for the region of Johto,” Oak then cleared up.

“Huh? Why Johto? Aren’t the leaders there weaker?” Jase asked, secretly sighing in relief in his mind.

“True, but Johto has more terrain,” Oak explained.

“But isn’t the Hoenn region the largest region?” Jase asked.

“When I mean ‘terrain’, I mean the distance between each city. The distance between Littleroot town to Oldale town is about a one day walk. But in Johto, reaching one city to the next could take maybe up to a week. Also Johto has the highest population of the three regions, which means more trainers,” Oak explained.

“So, with all those trainers out there, if she can beat them all then gym leaders would be like-

“Normal trainers,” Oak finished. “What made her decide at the last minute is what makes me ponder,” Oak said.

“I don’t know what could have made her do that either…” Jase lied recalling her sad face back at the port.

“Anyways I think I should be going to sleep now. It’s past midnight, and even a famous professor should be getting his sleep,” Oak remarked.

“Ok later!” Jase said while hanging up.

“So Jase, you hungry?” Birch asked, handing him a box of Ramen noodles.

“Hell yeah!” Jase shouted.
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Little later after dinner, Jase was sitting on the roof looking out into the night sky, which was full of shining stars. It soon dawned on Jase that he’d totally forgotten about something. He reached through his belt, finding a pokeball. He threw it out and a blinding white light was shot out. It materialized as a little orange lizard, with a tail that had a flame on its tip.

“How dumb of me. We haven’t acquainted ourselves yet. Hey, my name’s Jase Mackenzie, your new partner,” Jase introduced. The lizard acknowledged Jase with a nod.

The two were then joined by Prof Birch. He sat beside Jase.

“Hey Jase, can I ask you something?” Birch asked.

“Uh…sure I guess,” Jase answered.

“What is your reason for becoming a trainer? Is it simply to be the best?” Birch asked.

Jase just laid back and stared at the stars once more. Birch could tell that his question had just passed the personal border. He could see it in Jase’s eyes.

“Look Jase-

“Ahh, it’s okay. I don’t mind, it’s okay if I tell you. It all started…

Somewhere far away…

“You left me…but you promised…I will battle you, defeat you in the tournament, and crush you…"

Back…

“And that’s the story,” Jase finished explaining.

“I’m terribly sorry that happened to him…” Birch said in a low tone.

Charmander looked in awe at his new partner. He was amazed that Jase went through that, and how powerful ]his pokemon were. Charmander then tried to say something to Jase, but Jase couldn’t understand.

“It looks like it's just as impressed with your story Jase,” Birch said. “It just made a promise saying that it’ll become to most powerful pokemon with you as the most powerful trainer someday,” Birch explained.

“Is this true little buddy?” Jase asked.

Charmander nodded and put its claw out. Jase grabbed its hand and both shook.
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It was the next morning, and Birch went outside to get some air, but then saw Jase coming back with his Charmander in his arms.

“Jase, what happened?” Birch asked.

“We were doing some tough training,” Jase said returning inside the house.

“Little amateur…He thinks he can become champion, when he has trouble with wild pokemon?” Birch asked walking out into route 101. When he reached there, he saw fainted pokemon everywhere.

There was probably at least thirty pokemon downed there. Birch only had this to say:

“Holy ****…”
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Well, there it is. I know, it’s kind of boring be eh… Also thanks to Felix_the_Mutant_Pikachu for being my friendly neighborhood spellchecker.

Dragonfree
8th October 2005, 9:19 PM
Please lengthen your chapters. According to the rules, they must be at least a page on Microsoft Word. And please space out your paragraphs more...

Since you wanted us to point out your spelling errors:


proulouge:
It's "Prologue". Or "Prolog", but "prologue" is more used.


It was a beautiful day in Kanto. The sun is shining, the pidgey are singing and the koffing are coughing. Prof.Oak is happily practising his poetry(ALTHOUGH HE IS'NT GETTING ANY BETTER AT IT xD) while his assistant Ron is helping a nearby squirtle polish its shell. Prof.Oak is excited because today Prof.Birch is visiting for research on the comparison on both the Hoenn and Kanto starters. About 15 minutes later a boy stops by saying that he is ready for his first pokemon for his first day as a new trainer. Prof.Oak then starts to panic because he has forgotton that today is the day that new trainers will be stopping by today! Suddenly Prof.Birch arrives with a young boy beside him. He invites them in and they start talking about the 6 starters.
Some of those were probably typoes, of course, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't fix them. And don't shift tenses - either it's all happening now or it all happened sometime long ago. Either "is" or "was". Not both.

Also, you shouldn't insert "author's notes" (basically the "BUT HE ISN'T GETTING ANY BETTER AT IT xD") in the middle of the story. It wouldn't be an author's note if you just wrote the sentence, "Prof. Oak is happily practising his poetry, but without much success." Which reminds me that you should really be putting a space between "Prof." and "Oak". Oh, and when you write numbers that are ninety-nine or below in a fic, you can write them out instead of using the numbers. Fifteen and six, thank you very much.

Oh, yeah, and you put two 'today's in here:


today is the day that new trainers will be stopping by today!
Remove one of them.

This is, of course, way too short to be a prologue, and isn't really much of a prologue. It would do much better at the start of the chapter. A prologue usually takes place at a different place and time than the first chapter and is meant to provoke mystery and catch readers' attention. Prologues are turning into some kind of trend, really, so they're being misused...


CHAPTER 1:THE CHALLENGE IS ON!!
Multiple exclamation marks aren't a very good idea.


Meanwhile the new trainers are outside, waiting patiently, except for one. This young man is named Jase. He is a 10 year old kid with a red cap with a pokeball design on it. He wears a black t-shirt with a light red vest over that. He wears blue jeans and red running shoes. Jase is infuriated because he has been forced to wait to get a pokemon when he has been waiting for this all his life. He declared that he was going to walk in there and demand he get his starter pokemon right away, but just before he could do that, both the professors came outside arguing over which set of pokemon is stronger. Prof Oak yelled that when charmander has fully evolved it will become half flying giving it an edge over torchic's fully evolved fighting form, but Prof Birch just comes back saying that an electrical attack can deafeat it easily but Oak just nags right back saying a psychic attack can murder blaziken on the spot. The boy who was with Birch earlier claims any pokemon he uses can defeat a starter from Kanto anytime, but Jase comes out of nowhere saying that he can't! Oak is glad that he has some backup in this argument. Oak then asks the other kids to come pick their pokemon and pokedex and leave. Before Jase could even move, the other 2 kids took their pokmon/dex and left, leaving Jase in the dust. The only pokemon that wasn't taken was charmander, which left Jase kind of disappointed because he wanted the stronger squirtle but he took what he could get.

Birch then got an excellent idea. Both of their trainers with a starter from their correspondent regions will go to opposite regions and each trainer will compete in the inter-continental trainer championships this year after getting 8 badges. This event happened only every 10 years and Hoenn has been supreme for the last 4 championships. Kanto hasn't won since the event that took place around 80 years ago. Oak furiated graciously accepts and points to Jase saying that his father was an Indigo league champ before in his youth. Birch then turns to his companion who happens to be his own son named Rick. Rick wore a purple t-shirt with a blue jacket over it. He had a blue bandana on and baggy blue pants. Birch asks Rick which Hoenn starter he wants. Rick walks over to Jase and asks him what starter he has. Jase tells him he got charmander so Rick walks up to his father and asks him to give him torchic.

And so it was on! A journey to prove which region is the better one. Both professors and their trainers stare at each other for a while but then they head their separate ways. Rick heads over to Pewter city and Jase heads over to Hoenn with Birch.

WHO WILL WIN? READ TO FIND OUT^^
The plot is a little bit more interesting than the average trainer fic, I'll give you that... but the style is a problem. You write like you're just very lengthily summarizing what happened, which is not good. Either you summarize something briefly, which you should only do for parts that really don't matter in the story, or you write the full thing, write them actually saying their lines, include some detail and dialogue. There is no such thing as going in between.

Your character descriptions were rather bland... just "He wears this. He wears that. He is this." It's best to include the description in the flow of the story while something is actually happening; never put more than like one successive sentence of pure description.

I also don't get this:


Oak furiated graciously accepts

"Furiated" isn't a word; it sounds like you meant "Infuriated" or "furiously" but that doesn't fit with "graciously". o-O

You might also want to include some more feelings...


Jase has finally made it to Hoenn. He informs Oak that he has arrived and that he will start his journey tommorow seeing how it has become dark outside. Birch is eating dinner while Jase is outside getting acquainted with his new pokemon. Birch then joins him outside and they both stare at the stars. Birch then asks Jase what his reason for becoming a pokemon trainer was and Jase answers to follow his dad. Jase tells him the story of how his dad was the Indigo champ for 5 years in a row. Then one night on Jase's 2nd birthday some thugs broke in threating them. Then Jase's dad got in the way to protect them but there must've been at least 30 of them and his dad and his pokemon were eventually killed by the overflowing pokemon attacks. Seeing how his dad risked his life for him he wants to become a powerful trainer too. Then there was a moment of silence between the 2. Charmander looked in awe at his new trainer and started trying to tell Jase something. Jase didn't really understand but Birch got it all perfectly. Charmander said that hearing that story has encouraged him to become a mighty pokemon someday and surpass his father's pokemon and that he'll remain at his side forever. Jase was shocked that Charmander put out its hand and Jase put out his.

It was the next day and Jase was ready. Birch found him up bright and early and was even more surprised to find him in a battle against one of the neighbours. It was charmander versus a zigzagoon. Both pokemon looked really exhausted. Then zigzagoon went in for a tackle but charmander dodged it, hit it with a metal claw and then finished it off with an ember. Birch had to admit that Jase was a natural but he had to work a lot harder if his pokemon is exhausted from fighting one zigzagoon. But then the neighbour informed Birch that Jase had asked the stranger to use 3 pokemon against his 1 pokemon. Apparently Jase had defeated zigzagoon, a lotad and a whismur with only his charmander. Birch was very impressed. Jase then got his charmander healed up. Jase left Littleroot towards his new adventure....
The thing about his father dying and all that would make a much better prologue than what you currently have, really. That's something that happened in the past and foreshadows some plot (assuming that you will include Jase seeking revenge in some way or another in the fic).

The second part, though... my Gary-Stu alarm just exploded. Jase had a league champion for a father and I predict he will also become one, his father died, Professor Birch believes he's a "natural" at battling just from the way Charmander beats Zigzagoon and additionally it turns out Charmander beat THREE Pokémon, not just one. If you've never heard of a Gary-Stu, it's basically somebody who's too perfect and gets all the sympathy, and Jase is a perfect example of one. Unless you've got a really good reason why he's magically so good at battling, he shouldn't be.

Anyway, that's it for now... I'll be here for the next chapter.

Atari
8th October 2005, 9:28 PM
Best story I've read so far... I'll give it a 9.99! You should make a third chapter!

--Why does a Level.5 Charmander have the move metal claw???
--When will Charmander evolve??
--How is Torchic doing??
--You should make a third chapter! ;004; ;255;

Haunter
8th October 2005, 10:17 PM
BlazikenTyphlosion, please don't rate things too high. You're basically just telling him to go on like he is and he won't get any better if you do.

DKzM0mA
9th October 2005, 2:19 AM
Wow i got a lot to work on. Thx for pointing those errors out and BTW: Why did charmander know metal claw at level 5: I'll answer that with a question of my own. Why did ash's charmander know flamethrower as soon as he got it but it learns it at level 34 but in the episode when ash catches primeape charmander just suddenly learns RAGE as a new attack which it learns at level 19? When will charmander evolve?: Read to find out^^ How it torchic doing?: Read to find out^^ But thx for supporting me^^

Dragonfree thank you for giving some tips. This was my first attempt and i think I preety much ****** it up but i'll try to make chapter 3 even better.

BTW: chapter 3 will be up monday morning by the latest^^

DKzM0mA
10th October 2005, 1:21 AM
Aite chapter 3 is ready I hope it's better

CHAPTER 3: TR CONFRONTATION!

It is his second day of being on the road through the vast land of Kanto. Rick has been training very hard, making his torchic stronger. Currently Rick and his torchic who he nicknamed Scorch are in a battle against a trainer named Ryley and his butterfree.

"Butterfree, use sleep powder!" Ryley commanded.
"
Pfft, Scorch, use ember" Rick commanded calmly.

The fire attack broke right through. Disintegrating the powder and hitting the butterfree causing a lot of damage. " Finish it off with peck!" Rick ordered. The attack scored a hit and fainted butterfree. Ryley was left speechless but accepted this defeat. "Nice battle" Rick said to Ryley putting out his hand. "Thanks but man your torchic was something else, I couldn't even send a counter-attack after your ember attack. Your torchic must be well trained if iit was able to defeat all four of us." Ryley complimented. The other 3 trainers then come in asking if Rick wanted to trade for pokemon. "Sorry guys but torchic is my only pokemon.""But Rick, in most gyms you will need atleast two pokemon."one of the trainers said. This worried Rick a little bit seeing that he was planning on conquering all of kanto just using his starter pokemon. "Oh well, I will come up with something, but by the way do you know how far viridian city is from here?"Rick asked. "Yeah, it's about an hour walk from here." Rick thanked all the boys and headed off towards Viridian city.

When Rick finally arrived at his destination, his first stop was the pokemon center. He got his torchic healed up and went up to the third floor where trainers can stay for the night, since it was getting dark outside.
In his room he let out his torchic and let it stretch its legs. "Man Scorch you are really getting stronger and I think you're also getting smarter too." Torchic just looked up at Rick and started jumping for joy."Better go to sleep Scorch, we have a gym battle tommorow". Both went to sleep soundly, having wonderful dreams about becoming champions together at the intercontinental championships.

Rick was up bright and early and pumped up for his battle. He went downstairs, thanked Nurse joy and started to leave."Wait!" shouted the nurse."Yeah?"Rick asked."The gym is closed because the gym leader decided to retire. There should be a new gym leader in about three weeks time" Joy explained."WHAT?!"Rick shouted with a dumb look on his face."The nearest gym is in Pewter city which is about a two days' walk from here" said Joy. "Thanks" said Rick with a dumb look on his face. Rick exited the center and decided to do some sight seeing before he left. While walking around he saw a familiar face. Rick then recognized him as one of the trainers who came with Jase to get his first pokemon. The boy instantly recognized Rick as well and jumped at his feet crying."Wha-wha-what the hell are you doing?!" Rick yelled."Please help me!" cried the boy. Since the boy was crying Rick decided to atleast hear him out.

He sobbed. "Sorry about that,hi my name is Rex"."Hey I'm Rick, so..what's your problem?"."Well..I know you're not allowed to enter the abandoned gym,but I thought there might've been some strong wild pokemon there to catch but when I went in two thugs hit me with a bat and ran of with my pokemon" Rex explained. Rick thought to himself, What a loser...but since I am short on pokemon I might be able to find strong wild pokemon in there. I guess it wouldn't hurt to beat up those thugs while I'm at it."Sure why not I'll get your pokemon back before you even know it!" Rick boasted."Really?Thank you sooo much! He starts to cry.I hope I am doing the right thing Rick thought to himself. So he left towards the gym.

Rick had broken into the gym looking around. Rick was suprised that the gym that looked puny on the outside was so big on the inside. Some wild pokemon attaked him but seeing how Rick was able to dodge without the help of his pokemon, it showed they weren't worthy enough to be on his team. Rick went down some stairs which led to more stairs and more stairs after that. Rick was starting to get annoyed but then after some more walking he saw a room with a light on. Rick quietly walked over to the doorless room and peeked inside. There he saw 2 thugs with black uniforms with a big red R on in."Man look at all these pokemon we stole!"one of the thugs boasted." YEAH! We hit the jackpot! Leader 1 will be proud." the other yelled. Rick started to back away slightly but accidently knocked over an empty glass bottle. This alerted the 2 thugs and they ran outside the room to see what intruder had happeneed to find them. " So you guys are the bums who stole my friend's pokemon." Rick said." Maybe we are." one said."Who are you and why are you stealing pokemon?!" Rick scolded."We are the rocket duo bros from the REBEL ROCKETS! I'm Ed!"the first one said."And I'm Eddie!" the second one said. Rick wasn't impressed. " If you're here to take the pokemon back you're just asking for a battle!"Ed yelled."Well, then lets go"Rick calmy said.

"Go raticate!"Ed yelled.

"Go Ekans!"yelled Eddie.

"2vs1 eh? Whatever..doesn't matter, I'll still take you guys out. Come on out Scorch!"

"Prepare to lose your little birdie there forever!"Eddie claimed.

"We'll just see about that won't we?" Rick replied.

The battle was on!

Eddie started things off with a with a wrap.

"Raticate follow up with a bite attack after the chick is coiled up.

"Scorch use double team!"Rick commanded.

Torchic then created 5 clones of itself dodging the attack of the two foes."Now use an ember on both of them!" Rick ordered. The fire was barraging both pokemon but raticate was able to get out of the attack.

"Raticate use Quick attack!"

It was approaching fast but torchic simply jumped then fell on raticate's head then started pecking its face.

"Ekans help raticate out with another wrap attack!" Ed commanded.

Torchic then jumped off raticaate's head allowing the wrap attack to wrap around its ally.

"Full power ember attack now!"Rick commanded. The fire attack was pounding on both pokemon hard. Ed and Eddie were starting to get worried seeing how thier pokemon were taking a serious beating.

"A little more and this battle should be over!"Rick declared.

But then an elekid which seemed to be sleep walking was about to walk right into the ember barrage.

"Stop scorch before that pokemon gets hurt!"Rick yelled.

Torchic immediantly stops its attack just before it hit the elekid. The TR bros took this to their advantage and ordered their pokemon on full offence.

"Poison sting!"Eddie ordered.

"Then follow up with a hyper fang!"ordered Ed.

Torchic took both hits very hard and was sent flying into a nearby wall. Ekans then fired another round of poison sting at the fainted torchic. Rick then covered torchic with his body to sheild him. The attack hit Rick and then there was an explosion.

Elekid woke up from the sound of the explosion to find Rick injured with a beat up torchic under him and wondered what has happened. Ed and his brother were laughing and thanked elekid for if it hadden't got itself into trouble they might have lost, but look at them now!

Elekid was shocked to find out it was its fault that Rick got hurt.

"Well it's time to end this little battle, Raticate use hyper fang and finsh them off!"Ed commanded.

Raticate was coming right at the 2 injured beings. Rick knew this was the end but then elekid jumped infront of Rick, charged up a thunderpunch and punched raticate right in the face sending it flying back. Rick was shocked but elekid just looked back and gave him a thumbs up. Rick took this as a sign of saying he wanted to pay back Rick for screwing him up earlier.

"OH YEAH?!BOTH OF YOU GET IN THERE AND SMASH THAT THING INTO BITS!"both the brothers ordered.

"Quick use a quick attack! Rick ordered.

Elekid smashed into both pokemon sending them soaring back slamming into thier trainers.

"This battle ends now! Elekid use thundershock!"yelled Rick.

Elekid shocked all four of them causing a massive explosion that sent TR blasting off into the sky. Finally this battle was over.

Rick returned Torchic back to his pokeball and picked up the large bag that contained all the pokeballs TR stole. He then turned to elekid.

"Yo, since you're kind of alone here do you mind joining me and torchic on our quest to become the best?" Rick asked.

Elekid looked at Rick for a moment but then put on a smile and jumped to Rick. Rick gave it a pokeball and he caught it.

He then walked over to the police station and left the bag in front of the door, healed up at the pokemon center and left.

Rick was back on the road towords Pewter City where he will battle for his first badge which is the first step towards the intercontinental pokemon league championships where he will battle Jase.


I hope this one was better^^ Same thing as before, point out spelling mistakes and/or grammar problems and give an honest rating or a review.

Atari
10th October 2005, 3:22 PM
BlazikenTyphlosion, please don't rate things too high. You're basically just telling him to go on like he is and he won't get any better if you do.
Ok! I'll give the first two chapters an 8.5 and the third chapter an 8.7

Dragonfree
10th October 2005, 4:44 PM
Read the rules. Number ratings are NOT ALLOWED. They tell the author nothing. Tell him what you like, what you don't like, and preferrably also why you like or don't like it.


Anyway ... chapter three. I can't be as thorough with it as the first two since it's much longer, but I'll comment on what I feel the need to comment on.

Currently Rick and his torchic who he nicknamed Scorch is in a battle
They are in a battle. It's Rick and his Torchic, so it's two of them.


"Butterfree use sleep powder!" Ryley commanded."Pfft, Scorch use ember" Rick commanded calmly.
You should start a new paragraph when somebody new speaks, and it's better to double space the paragraphs when you're at a forum. Also, remember that before a closing quote in dialogue, there must be some kind of punctuation; after "Scorch use ember" there should be a comma. You need commas between the Pokémon names and the commands addressed to them, too, and it's better not to use the same word (commanded) twice with so little in between. So it should look more like this:


"Butterfree, use sleep powder!" Ryley commanded.

"Pfft, Scorch, use ember," Rick said calmly.

That also applies to the rest of the battle.


The fire attack broke throught discintergrating the powder and still hitting butterfree causing a lot of damage.
1. Through, not throught, and disintegrating. You should proofread your chapters before posting them, and preferrably write them in Microsoft Word or a similar program with spell check on.
2. Split this into two sentences; make "The fire attack broke through" one sentence and then start the next one with "It disintegrated the powder ..."
3. I don't really think that "still" is needed.
4. Comma after "Butterfree".
5. Butterfree is referring to a specific Pokémon here, so either you capitalize it or turn it into "the butterfree".
6. You never actually say Torchic did anything. This is pretty common for new writers; basically, you don't omit anything in the middle of a scene you're describing in detail. Right now the fire is just appearing out of thin air.

The quoted sentence itself, though, should look more like this:


The fire attack broke through. It disintegrated the powder and hit the butterfree, causing a lot of damage.


I coudn't even send a counter-attack
Couldn't. Use a spellchecker.


"Yeah, it's about an hour walk from here.
Don't forget the closing quote. It can be very confusing when you don't know what is a part of what somebody was saying and what isn't.


Your torchic must be well trained if iit was able to defeat all 4 of us." Ryley complimented. The other 3 trainers then come in asking if Rick wanted to trade for pokemon. "Sorry guys but torchic is my only pokemon.""But Rick, in most gyms you will need atleast 2 pokemon."
You're still using numbers. Numbers are bad. Four, three, two. It's not hard to write it out.


Owell
"Oh well"


arrived to his destination
Either "got to his destination" or "arrived at his destination". You go to a place, but you arrive at a place.


where trainers can stay for the night
"where trainers could stay for the night"


I think your also getting smarter too
"Your" means something that belongs to you, such as "your head" or "your leg". What you're looking for is "you're", which stands for "you are".


jumping in joy
I believe it's "jumping for joy".


Better go to sleep Scorch
Don't forget the starting quote either.


Both went to sleep soundly. Having wonderful dreams about becoming champion together at the intercontinental championships.
The last sentence can't stand on its own. Combine it with the previous sentence with a comma. And there are two of them, so "champions".


"WHAT?!"Rick shouted with a dum look on his face.
Space after the closing quote, and "dumb".


about a 2 days walk from here
"about two days' walk from here"


aswell
"as well", two words.


atleast
"at least", also two words.


*sniff*
Never use actions in a fanfic, instead, write something like, "He sobbed."


abouot
"about"


whats your problem
"what's your problem". Remember, you're looking for "what is".


i thought
Always capitalize "I" when people refer to themselves.


ran of
"ran off".


* What a loser...but since I am short on pokemon I might be able to find strong wild pokemon in there. I guess it wouldn't hurt to beat up those thugs while I'm at it.*
You don't need the asterisks, just remove them and instead put this in italics or something.


*starts to cry*
See what I said earlier about actions. Just put in, "He started to cry again," or something similar.

Incidentally, you also forgot a closing quote there.


Rick had broke into the gym
Since you have "had", it's "broken", not "broke".


attaked[quote]
Proofread... it's "attack" and I know you know that.

[quote]a light onn
A light on. Yet again, proofread.


to peeked inside
Either "and peeked inside" or "to peek inside".


they ran out side the room to see what intruder happeneed to find them
"outside" and "had happened".


poekmon
Proofread.

After you've finished writing the chapter, don't just go and post it. Read carefully over it first and catch errors like that.


Well then lets go
"Well, then, let's go"


doesnt matter I'll still take you guys out
"Doesn't matter, I'll still take you guys out."

In that dialogue with Ed and Eddie plus the battle, you're still dealing with the same problems as in the previous battle. See above.


botth
Proofread.


raticaate's
Proofread.


thier
Proofread.


Stop scorch
1. You forgot a starting quote.
2. Always capitalize names.
3. Right now, you're saying "Stop Scorch" as in that somebody should stop Scorch. A comma in between there will solve that.


it was it's fault
"it was its fault". When you're dealing with pronouns, 's always stands for "is".


slaming into thier trainers
"slamming" and "their". Proofread, proofread.


sending TR blasting off into the sky
You're better off with "that sent" rather than "sending" since you used "causing" just earlier.


picked the large bag
He picked it up. Otherwise he was choosing it.


you kind of alone
"you're kind of alone"


me and torchic
Technically "torchic and me", although of course this is speech so you'll get away with a grammatical error like that.


infront of the door
"in front of the door", and I've got to say I found it a bit weird that he'd just leave the bag there with no explanation.


point out spelling mistakes and/or grammer problems
It's always ironic when people can't spell "grammar".


You also had the tense-switching problem here, which you should fix, but my number one advice to you is to proofread before you post and preferrably use a spell checker. This is a must if you want to improve the spelling and grammar at all.

But it's definitely better.

DKzM0mA
11th October 2005, 1:13 AM
Thanks for pointing those out again dragonfree. For those who care which not might be that much, Chapter 4 will be up by tommorow.

DKzM0mA
12th October 2005, 2:32 AM
Alright here it comes. Italics means the person is thinking to themselves. Flashbacks are also in italics but you will figure it out.

CHAPTER 4: Enter, Rick's girl friend?!

"I CAME FROM PALLET TOWN, WITH A WHOLE NEW WORLD TO SEE! NOT KNOWING WHATS AHEAD BUT IT WON'T GET THE BEST OF ME..! THERE'S SO MUCH LEARN AND BATTLES TO BE WON!" Jase sang to himself." Hmm that wasn't so bad. Maybe when I become famous I'll use that for a theme song" Jase thought to himself.

Just when he was about to continue his theme song he tripped and fell into dirt. He slowly got up. He cleaned the dirt off his pants and started walking towards route 103. Supposedly there was a girl there whom he was given instructions from Prof. Birch himself to give her a package.
Flashback

"Wait! Jase wait! Shouted Birch.

Birch ran up to Jase huffing and puffing, tired from the run finally caught up with the boy.

"What's wrong Prof. Birch?" Jase asked.

"Do you mind stopping by route 103 for me? There should be a girl there waiting for this package. It's the pokemon she requested but she can't come here because she doesn't have anyone to walk her here, seeing how it's dangerous to walk here without a pokemon. She should be in Old dale or upahead in 103. I would go myself but I have research to do here. Do you mind?" Birch asked.

"Sure it's on the way so it won't be a problem."Jase explained.

"Thanks a lot!” Birch thanked.

Birch handed the package to Jase and watched him slowly as he left on his journey to be the best.
End of flashback

AHHHHHHHHH! Someone screamed.

Jase heard this scream and quickly ran ahead to see what was happening. When he came to the sight where the scream he saw a girl backed up to a corner at a brick wall with a big thug in front of her. It looked like harassment to Jase.

"Come on! Just one kiss! Please?" the thugs asked starting to move closer.

"Get away! I already have a boyfriend! The young girl screamed.

"Tell me his name and I'll kick his little ***!"The thug threatened.

"GO AWAY!” the girl screamed at the top her lungs.

"How about no, now give me my kiss!” the thug demanded.

"You want a kiss, come get some love over here! A voice yelled out from behind.

The thug turned around only to get embered straight in the face.

"What the ****? What kind of love was that?! The thug asked angrily.

He got back up to see a boy dressed mostly in red, wearing a red cap and had a charmander beside him.

"It was tough love! Want some more? Coal show him how much u care!"Jase ordered.

Coal the Charmander opened his mouth, and the fire attack emerged blasting the thug down again. The thug then got up and took out a pokeball and threw it up in the air.

"Go wingull! Show them whose boss!" the thug shouted.

A white light emerged and took shape as the little bird with a long beak. The bird flew over to its trainer, looking ready for a battle.

Red had charmander stand back as he took out another pokeball. He threw the red&white ball up and out came out a golden little dog pokemon. It was surprisingly a Poochyena.

"Barx use tackle fast!"Jase instructed.

The bite pokemon rammed its head right into the little wingull sending smashing into its trainer. The trainer got back up holding the wingull in his hand.

"I'll just kick your butt then take the girl and go!" the thug threatened.

Just as he was about to grab the girl charmander ran up to with a claw glowing white and metal clawed him down. Jase then appeared in front of the girl.

Barx, Coal metal claw-tackle combo now!" Jase commanded.

The bite pokemon and the lizard pokemon both running at the thug with their correspondent attacks and sent him flying into the sky.

Congratulating his pokemon, he returned them to their pokeball he walked up to the girl.

"You ok?"Jase asked.

"Yeah thanks a lot. That bum doesn't know what the "no" means. By the way, can I get my rescuers name? She asked.

"Uh...Yeah it's Jase"he answered.

"Jase, nice name but it's still not as attractive as my boyfriend's name” she said.

This kind of freaked out Jase a little bit seeing how she was looking out into the sky with stars in her eyes.

"So, what's my rescue’s name?" Jase asked in curiosity.

"My name is Krys Michaels, but my future name will be Kyrs Birch after I marry my hubbypoo."She said with hearts in her eyes.

Jase started backing away but then realized that she was the girl! He then bent down, opened up his bag and took out the package.

"Excuse me, I got a package here for you from Prof. Birch.” he informed.

He handed the bag over to her and watched as she opened the bag to reveal six balls and a pokedex. Jase guessed this was her first day as a trainer.

"I wonder if got the pokemon I wanted. Oh this pokeball has a picture of a leaf on it. I guess I'll try this one then."Krys said to herself.

She threw the ball and out came a flash of light to reveal the grass pokemon Treecko. It then turned to Krys and gave out a cute little sound of some sort.

"Oh my god that was so cute!"Krys yelled scaring Jase a bit.

He then noticed it was already 5pm! Jase started to worry because he wanted to make it to petalburg before dark but now it was too late.

"It's 5pm? I had to get back to petalburg but now it's too late. Oh well. Hey lets go shopping Jase!"She suddenly yelled?

"What?! You want to go shopping with a total stranger? And besides I hate shopping, it's boring, it sucks and the lines are always long!" Jase complained.

"Oh please!” she whined looking very seductive.

Jase started backing away with a worried look on his face. As he was backing away she was moving up coming closer with a sexy smile on her face. She then winked at him seductively and Jase really got scared!

"Oh crap not the sexy wink! I always fall for that damn wink. Ok...keep it cool Jase. Don't fall for it. She's just doing that to get you to do her begging. You don't even know that damn girl. Ok now walk up to her and say NO!

"Hell no! I aint going shopping with you! Never in a thousand years!"Jase declared.
-----------------------------
20 minutes later.

"Do you think this pink dress makes me look fat? I like this purple one because it'll show off my nice-

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT!"Jase demanded.

"Yeah, you're right. This yellow blouse will show off my sweet ra-

"DAMMIT SHUT UP! WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING THESE THINGS WITH ME?! AND WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT STUFF OUT LOUD?!"Jase yelled.

"Well, seeing how you were listening, it shows that you were interested.” she said in a smart alick tone.

Jase blushed like mad. His skin became redder than his red vest.

"Calm down!” she giggled.

"Whatever, can we just go?"Jase asked.

"Fine, I reserved a room at the pokemon center. Luckily I got us the last room!"Krys said.

"We have to share a room?!"Jase complained.

"Don't worry I am sure there is more than one bed in there but if there isn't we'll just have to share!” she said giggling at the same time.

"WHAT THE HELL?"Jase yelled.
------------------------
They arrived at the pokemon center and found their room and opened the door. Jase let out a breath of relief as he saw they were two beds.

"Aww, I was hoping for one bed so we could share. Oh well." Krys teased.

"WHAT?!"

"Kidding, calm down."

They both got settled into their beds and tried to get to sleep. Then Jase's opened wider than melons after realizing something.

"WAIT A SECOND YOU'RE RICK'S GIRL FRIEND?!
-------------

Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed it and same thing as always. Corrections and reviews, o and sry if i got the lyrics wrong at the starting. I was too lazy to look it up so i sang to myself xD.

daksunt
12th October 2005, 8:57 PM
well very good story. (how about making johto vs hoenn)

DKzM0mA
13th October 2005, 1:09 AM
Well chapter 5 coming atcha (-_- did I spell dat right?)

CHAPTER 5: The practice

It was a bright and early morning. Both Krys and Jase were walking together through the forest trying to get to petalburg by lunch time. Krys was walking; admiring the scenery but Jase was walking while staring at Krys with a suspicious look. Jase then tried breaking the silence as it was creepy him out.

"Damn I get stuck with the bum's girlfriend. What has the world come too?"Jase complained.

"Well...." she trailed off.

"Well what?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked.

"If it involves you. Rick and a bed, don't tell me." Jase declared.

"Not that silly! You see, back at the pokemon academy Rick was very popular. Every girl loved him but Rick wasn't really the social type."

"So, what's your point"? Jase demanded getting annoyed.

"He's not really my boyfriend. I just fantasize it. Funny eh?"

"Whatever, let's just get going to petalburg. I want to get my first badge."

"Oh, you're going there for the badge? Good luck you'll need it. That gym leader has some real power.” she explained.

"How would you know all this? Do you watch his battles?" Jase asked.

"No, the leader is my daddy." she said.

This made Jase fall down anime style. He got up with a weird look on his face.

"So you mind telling me what pokemon he uses?"Jase asked.

"Nope"

"Please?"

"Only if you admit that I have a really nice ra-

"NEVERMIND JUST SHUT UP" Jase thundered.

"You're so inexperienced." she giggled.

"Then you must be a public toilet." Jase murmured under his breath.

"What was that?" she asked with an evil face on.

"Nothing...” he said as he backed away five feet to avoid any violence.
-------------------------

It has been two hours and they still haven't reached their destination. Krys started to complain that all this walking was tiring her out. Jase opened up his backpack and handed a soda. Jase was starting to get tired because in those two hours he has defeated dozens of trainers and his pokemon were getting tired.

"I don’t think it's that far anymore. Maybe in around half hour time we should reach petalburg." Jase explained.

That only made her groan for agony. She got up and released her treecko.

"Hello Petals. Having an ok time?” she asked.

"Petals?" he asked in a dumb expression.

"It's her nickname." she explained.

"I'm surprised you didn't call it Rick" he said laughing at his own joke.

She decided to ignore that comment and kept walking. Jase soon caught up and decided to chat about their lives. Like their family and stuff like that.
-------------------------

They finally got to Petalburg and both of them ran towards the gym. Kyrs opened the glass door and Jase entered as well.

"Daddy, Mommy I'm home!" she yelled.

Both a tall man with short hair entered with a woman with curly long hair and an orange dress.

"Krys! You finally made it. Did you get your pokemon?"The woman asked.

"I saw Bruno come back this morning from Old dale. Did he harass you again?” he asked in an angry tone.

"Yeah but before he could do anything this guy saved me from him” she explained pointing to Jase.

"Hey, I'm Jase Mackenzie from Pallet Town.” he introduced.

"From pallet town? Isn't that where Birch went? Norman asked.

Jase nodded and told the three about everything about what happened in Pallet about the challenge and how Rick was starting his journey in Kanto.

"WHAT?!"Kyrs yelled.

Jase freaked out and hid behind Norman and Caroline.

"I was going to go on my journey with Rick as a coordinator. Why did my Birchypoo do this to me?” she whined.

Jase then remembered something and quickly turned to Norman.

"Norman I challenge you to a pokemon battle for the Balance badge!" Jase declared.

Norman then told Jase something that he did not want to hear.

"I'm sorry Jase but I decline your challenge. The hoenn rule book says I can't accept a challenge from you unless you're signed up as an official Hoenn trainer." Norman explained sadly.

"What...Ok then where do I sign up? He asked.

"You can sign up the pokemon center in Rustboro city. One more thing. You can't challenge me unless you have 4 badges to show me.” Norman informed.

"Damn it. Then I better get going than." Jase said.

"Wait!" Caroline called.

She then turned to Krys.

"Darling why don't you go on your journey with Jase here. It's dangerous for a girl like you to go across hoenn alone. I know you wanted to go with Rick but you won't see him for at least another year. Jase has already saved you once. Think of him as your bodyguard.” Caroline said.

Jase's jawed dropped to the floor. I have to travel around for a year with her?! Actually this might soften up her dad in our gym match but still not her!! Norman then walked up to Jase.

"Even though you're not official yet, how about we have a little battle for fun?” Norman asked.

"Sure!"Jase agreed in excitement.
-----------------------------------------

They walked into a little arena in the basement. Apparently, Krys also had a little brother about the age of 9 who joined them in the basement as well.

"So who's your new boyfriend?” the little boy known as Max asked.

Krys ignored this comment and watched the match.

Both trainers released their pokemon. It was Jase's charmander against Norman's linoone.

Caroline decided to be ref and stood in between the two trainers. She gave the signal and the battle was on.

“Coal, heat things up with an ember!” Jase ordered.

The little lizard pokemon opened up, and the fire pokemon blasted the attack right at his foe.

“Dodge with agility, and then use quick attack!” Norman countered.

The fire attack just barely missed the rush pokemon as it disappeared with a blur. Then out of nowhere, it struck coal from the back as it used its quick attack.

“Damn, it’s fast. Coal go in for a metal claw!” Jase instructed.

The little orange pokemon’s claw started to glow white and it slashed its foe sending it skid back a few feet.

“He just took the hit?” Jase said to himself puzzled.

“Now, use counter!” Norman yelled.

Linoone started glowing red and ran towards its opponent ramming it with its head. Coal was starting to get tired. It then opened its mouth and charged up an ember and fired.

“Again, dodge with agility then quick attack now!” Norman ordered.

Once again, linoone disappeared in a blur and attacked coal from behind.

Jase was starting to worry seeing how his pokemon wasn’t close to how fast his opponent was.

Dad what would you do if you were in my position…
Flashback

Sitting on the grass was a middle aged man, with black hair and ruby eyes. Staring out into the sky he was also keeping an eye on his son who was playing with his lapras on the river. The boy was about 4 ft tall with a red shirt saying champion on it. This young boy was who we knew as Jase today.

“Hey, dad how did a big, slow pokemon like lapras beat fast pokemon beat a trainer with a fast pokemon like sneasel. Lapras is strong but power is garbage if you can’t hit your opponent.” Jase pointed out.

“It’s true that power is useless without speed but there is still a way to beat fast pokemon. All you have to do is distinguish where the pokemon is headed. When a pokemon uses an attack like agility, all it really does is run very quickly hiding itself. If you can use a move to find its patterns, even a slow pokemon like lapras find take it out.” the man said.

“I don’t get it!” the boy yelled.

“Someday when you’re in that kind of predicament you will understand. Just remember what I told you”. The man explained.

End of flashback

“That’s it!” Jase thought to himself.

“Coal, use ember again!” Jase ordered.

“Again?” Linoone, you what to do.” Norman spoke.

As expected, linoone disappeared and the fire attack missed.

“Coal, use your smoke screen all over the room!” Jase yelled.

Obeying its master the little fire pokemon opened its mouth and spread smoke appeared all over the room. Jase then saw a figure in the smoke running at coal from behind.

“Coal, turn around and use ember now!” Jase commanded.

Quickly, the lizard turned around and started blasting the fire attack at the pokemon. The rush pokemon was being barraged by the ember attack unable to counter attack or even run away. Norman put on a worried look on his face.

“NOW, FULL POWER METAL CLAW!” Jase shouted.

Coal ran and slashed linoone with its glowing white clawing making it faint. Jase just stared into space for a second than jumped in happiness and ran to his victorious pokemon.

Both Krys and her little sibling were stunned at Jase’s power. Norman returned his pokemon to its pokeball and congratulated Jase on his victory. Krys was still confused on hoe Jase came out victorious.

“You see Krys, Jase had his charmander use smoke screen when I used agility. By doing that Jase was able to follow linoone’s movements since its figure is visible in the smoke and waited for the perfect time to counter attack. Krys was surprised that Jase came up with something like that.

“Jase where did you come up with something like that?” krys asked curiously.

“Something my dad taught me when I was a kid. I am surprised I remembered something like that at the last moment.” Jase explained.

“Well let’s go eat dinner and get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow is a big day.” said Caroline.
----------------------------------------
It was the next. Jase was ready and Kyrs was pumped for her journey. Jase looked at Krys with a dumb expression.

“What?” Krys asked.

“Well, what’s with hoenn and blue? You and Rick dress the same.” Jase explained

“Oh. You see the hoenn colour is red but Rick is kind of a rebel so I dress like him.” she said.

She started posing with her blue shirt which went down to her belly button and her short
blue shorts, both having white strips and a pokeball design on her shirt.

Saying her last goodbyes, Jase and Krys headed out on their journey.

------------------------------------------
Hoped you liked this one. More to come.

chary888
13th October 2005, 2:56 AM
Please read the rules...

DKzM0mA
14th October 2005, 4:04 AM
U mind tellin me what i did wrong?

DKzM0mA
14th October 2005, 1:29 PM
Chapter 6. This one's about how's Rick doing.
----------------------------------

CHAPTER 6: Jiroo, a leader and a new companion.

After some really tough training, Rick believes he is ready to battle the gym leader of Pewter city. He finally enters Pewter city and looks for the pokemon center. After a little searching he finds it. When he enters he sees a familiar face. It was none other then Rex who he met back in viridian city.

"Hey Rex. You here to challenge the gym leader?" Rick asked.

"I already did, but I lost terribly." Rex answered.

" Damn, what a loser. How this kid made it here to pewter city without getting robbed again I will never know" Rick thought to himself.

"So what pokemon did he use against you" Rick asked hoping to get an edge in his up coming gym battle.

"I couldn't even get past his first pokemon, but it seems the leader uses rock pokemon." Rex explained.

"Thanks, that's helpful information."

"No problem"

Rex left towards viridian to do some training. Meanwhile Rick was preparing for his gym battle but Nurse Joy then interrupted him.

"Excuse me. Would you happen to be Rick Birch?" she asked politely.

"Um, yes that's me." Rick answered.

"Well, you got a phone call waiting for you. This person called yesterday asking if you were here. I informed the caller that you were not here and I would give her a call if you reached this pokemon center." the nurse explained.

Rick walked up to the phone, picked up the receiver and waited to see if anyone was there. All Rick could hear were two people arguing on the other side of the call.

"Hello?" Rick asked confused.

"OH, HI MY FUTURE HUSBAND! I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LITTLE RICHYPOO! CAN YOU GUESS WHO THIS IS? WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, IT'S YOUR FUTURE WIFE, KRYS MICHEALS!" she yelled.

"Oh, it's the crazy one. Why are you calling me? Why do you think we are going to be married and...WHY DO YOU CALL ME YOUR DAMN POO?!" Rick yelled.

Rick cooled down then noticed someone in the video behind Krys. It was Jase who looked rather impatient.

"Yo, Krys give the phone to the guy behind you dressed in red." Rick instructed.

"Who, Jase? Why would you want to talk to him? Whatever…anything for you my hubby." Krys stated.

In the video, Rick watched Krys as she walked up to Jase and told him the message. It seemed Jase was angry and did not want to. Krys started yelling and Jase just yelled back. Then Krys started dragging Jase to the phone.

"Now, listen you! If my hubby wants to talk to you, you will talk to him understand?" Rick heard the other side.

"Hello...” Jase murmured.

"Getting pushed around by a girl. Sadly I don't think that you have what it takes to become the best if you're getting pushed around by her" Rick snickered.

"Well, is it my fault every five minutes she talks about you? What did you do? Make her your wife? I can't believe I let Norman do this to me." Jase whined.

"Tough luck. Anyways, I will be going now. I got to obtain my first badge." Rick said hanging up.

"Crap, that guy is ahead of me. All because of that psychopath." Jase murmured to himself.

"Well, i guess we better get going." Krys declared.

They both left the pokemon center and entered Petalburg woods.
---------------------

Meanwhile, Rick is standing in front of the pewter city gym. He slowly walked over to the rock doors and opened them. He entered the building and found a huge arena full of rocks. What really confused Rick was that on the long sides on the arena, there were two little pools. It looked like a little Jacuzzi.

"Why would a rock gym leader keep swimming pools, or any container of water in his arena?" Rick asked himself.

"Are you here to challenge me for a badge? A voice asked him.

Rick turned around see too see a man around the age of 16 wearing a shirt saying “I Rock”.

“Are you the leader of this gym?” Rick asked.

“Yes I am. My name is Jiroo. If you are here for a battle, you are only asking for defeat.” Jiroo explained.

“We’ll see. My name is Rick Birch and I do challenge you to a battle for a badge” he said.

Well then lets get started shall we? Both trainers walked over to their places on the field and both threw out a pokeballs revealing flashes of light on the field to form their pokemon. Jiroo has chosen his onix and Rick has chosen his combustken. Rick was confident that his new combustken would bring him to victory. The ref then explained the rules. It was a 2on2 battle with no time limit and no substitutions either. The ref dropped the flags signaling the start of the match.

“Torch, start things off with an ember attack!” Rick commanded.

“Onix, use harden!” Jiroo countered.

The large rock pokemon then started to shine then waited patiently for the attack. The fire pokemon shot the fire attack out of his mouth at the larger pokemon but it did not cause much damage.

“Damn, it looks like it was just bitten by a mosquito. Fire attacks won’t work that well on him, but I have a surprise for him.” Rick thought to himself.

“Onix, use tackle down now!” Jiroo ordered.

“Torch, jump on his head and use double kick!” Rick instructed.

The huge rock pokemon started to charge at its smaller opponent, but the fire jumped on its rocky opponent’s head and used a double kick. Then, Torch quickly jumped of as onix hollered in pain.

“Now one more time Torch!” Rick commanded.

The combustken jumped and kicked onix on the once more causing it to faint.

“All right!” Rick yelled.

“Your pokemon is strong but, it will not defeat this pokemon.

He threw the ball to reveal another flash of light forming into a kabuto!

Rick was shocked as he has never heard of this pokemon. He checked up on his dex to discover that it was extinct but then revived with technology. When he turned to glance at his opponent’s pokemon it has vanished. He couldn’t find it anywhere on the field.

“Well, let’s start this battle shall we? Kabuto ,water gun!” Jiroo commanded.

Kabuto then appeared from one of the pools on the arena and blasted a jet of icy water at the fire pokemon, then it went down again. Rick was stunned. He finally knows why that rock leader keeps pools in his gym.

“Torch, run over to that pool and wait for it to come out for air.” Rick instructed.

“Water gun again!” Jiroo commanded once more.

Shockingly kabuto appeared from the other pool and blasted combustken from the back, making it fall into the water and faint. Rick returned his pokemon to his pokemon praising it on a good job. He then took out another pokeball threw it high and release his second pokemon elekid. Elekid then jumped out into the middle of the field. Kabuto surfaced, but elekid being fast turned and used a thundershock, shocking his opponent.

“You want to play with speed eh? Kabuto turn into turbo!” Jiroo ordered.

Kabuto then dived and resurfaced on the other side quickly and blasted elekid with chilly water. When elekid turned around his opponent was nowhere in sight. Elekid then turned to the other pool it got blasted with another water gun. This cycle kept continuing and elekid was getting tired.

“ Damn, how is he doing that? Can a kabuto teleport? No, I don’t think he can learn an attack like that. Wait the pokedex said that it is a very fast swimmer, so…wait that’s it!” Rick thought to himself.

“I’ve figured you out! The pools are connected by an underwater tunnel!” Rick yelled to his opponent.

“Oh? You’re the first person ever to figure me out like that. It doesn’t matter, your pokemon will soon faint.” Jiroo declared.

“Elekid jump into the water and grab kabuto!” Rick yelled.

Elekid then jumped into the water grabbed hold of kabuto.

“Water gun!”

“It won’t work since you’re just adding more water to the pool. It has to be a preety strong trainer to actually damage my pokemon with that.” Rick explained.

“I must say that you are a very intelligent trainer, but I came up with a strategy if something like this occurred. Kabuto you grab on to elekid as well, then use selfdestruct!” Jiroo commanded.

“Are you crazy both pokemon will go down!” Rick protested.

“Kabuto has a special ability called battle armor, so if it self destructs…it will have at least 1hp left.” Jiroo explained, shocking Rick.

Kabuto started glow white. Elekid tried to get out of its grip but it couldn’t. Rick knew they were in trouble, but then it hit him!

“Elekid light screen!” Rick swiftly commanded.

Elekid managed to squirm a little gap in his opponent’s grip so the light screen could fit. Both trainers heard an explosion and waited patiently. Then shockingly elekid jumped out of the pool with his opponent kabuto in his arms fainted. Jiroo has a confused look on his face as he returned his pokemon to its pokeball.

“Hey Jiroo, want to hear how I beat you?” Rick asked.

“Well, that would be nice to know” Jiroo stated.

“Usually your attack would’ve been the end of us but I had elekid use light screen so it would only take half the damage and the other half would be reflected on kabuto because it was so close. It was easily knocked out because the self destruct had left it with only 1 hp so I ended up victorious. Jiroo was in awe, but walked over to Rick and handed him the Boulder badge. Rick congratulated his pokemon and took the badge, putting it in his badge case.

“Hey Rick. Would you mind a tag along with you on your journey?” Jiroo asked.

“Sure, but why. And who will look after the gym?” asked Jiroo.

“My brother will look after it. I want to tag along because like my big brother Brock I want to become a great pokemon breeder and I think I can achieve that goal if I come along with you.” Jiroo explained.

Rick graciously accepted. Then Jiroo let Rick stay at his place for the night
and ate a great dinner!
---------------------------

It was morning and Jiroo was finishing up to say his good byes to his ten brother and sisters. This actually took a while, but after all of that was done Rick and Jiroo got there pokemon healed up and set off on the journey to be the best.

Well, there’s the chapter. Hope you like it.

Atari
14th October 2005, 9:30 PM
A few spelling errors here and there, but everythings alright. I was really surprised when you wrote that Kyrs brother's name was Max. And that her father's and mother's name were the same as May's in the anime.

On chapter 4 the part I liked best was the 20 MINUTES LATER part and when they arrived at the pkmn. center.
Chapter 5 was alright, as I would rate it as a great out of an excellant. I especially liked the flashbacks because for some reason it reminded me of Ash.
Chapter 6 was awsome, although at first I thought that you were renaming Brock [Jiroo]. Nevermind... He's not. - Where is Brock anyway? Nevermind that too I guess...

DKzM0mA
14th October 2005, 9:43 PM
A few spelling errors here and there, but everythings alright. I was really surprised when you wrote that Kyrs brother's name was Max. And that her father's and mother's name were the same as May's in the anime.

On chapter 4 the part I liked best was the 20 MINUTES LATER part and when they arrived at the pkmn. center.
Chapter 5 was alright, as I would rate it as a great out of an excellant. I especially liked the flashbacks because for some reason it reminded me of Ash.
Chapter 6 was awsome, although at first I thought that you were renaming Brock [Jiroo]. Nevermind... He's not. - Where is Brock anyway? Nevermind that too I guess...

Thx for the compliments. If you didn't know Jiroo is Brock's little brother who he lets take care of the gym while he's in hoenn http://www.serebii.net/anime/characters/jiroo.shtml

Atari
15th October 2005, 2:53 AM
Sorry, I'm not exactly sure I've seen that episode.I really wish I had though, unless it hasn't come out to US yet. Thx for telling me

Scizor King
15th October 2005, 2:56 AM
Hmm... good, but constant spelling errors. But, this will be interesting.

DKzM0mA
16th October 2005, 4:26 AM
Well, Chapter 7 coming atcha (I still think I spelt that wrong)
-------------------

Chapter 7: Protecting a new friend

After that phone call fiasco, both Krys and Jase were making their way towards Rustboro city, where Jase plans on achieving his first badge. They have been walking for a while.

"So you want to be a coordinator right?" Jase asked.

"Yeah." she said staring into space.

"Dreaming about your rickypoo?" Jase asked.

"Nope. Just wondering how that kid is doing. The kid with the green hair." she explained.

"Oh, that kid who you helped catch a pokemon? Funny that you helped a kid catch a pokemon when you can't catch one by yourself." Jase snickered.

"I liked his hair. It was a nice shade of green.” Kyrs said.

“Oh great…now you’ve moved on to another guy. If you are going to start, please do not start talking about your fantasies out loud.” Jase stated.

“I’m not in love with him! Besides, he is still hotter than you!” Krys snickered.

“What?! I am twice as good looking as that loser who can’t even catch a pokemon for himself!” Jase declared.

“Sure…”
--------------------
After about one hour of walking, they’ve reached what was called BRINEY’S COTTAGE”

“Wow, it’s the beach! Let’s stop here and rest for a while.” Krys said.

“Fine, you go enjoy the beach and I’ll go do some training in the petalburg woods. I’ll be back in about an hour.” Jase informed.

“Ok”
--------------------

Krys decided to go on the beach and do some swimming. She then saw a familiar face sitting on the beach whimpering. Then she finally realized it was Wally, the boy she helped before.

“Hey Wally!” she shouted running at him.

The green haired boy turned to see Krys running towards him. He immediately got up to greet her.

“Umm… hey Krys. It’s nice to see you again.” He said.

“Yeah, it’s great to see you again. Aren’t you going to verdunturf?” she asked.

“My mom’s car ran into some problems so we’re are leaving tomorrow.” He explained.

“Oh I see. So why do you look so sad?” she asked.

“Because of this.” He informed pointing behind him.

She looked where he was pointing, to see an injured Seel. It looked like it took a heavy beating and it was panting for air.

“It always makes me sad to see an injured pokemon with no trainer around.” Wally said.

“Lets go take it back to petalburg before its injuries become more serious.” She said.

“I don’t think so!” A voice from behind to two trainers yelled.

Krys and Wally both turned around to see Bruno, the thug from before with two other big guys with him.

“It’s time for a little payback. I see you got a new boyfriend to protect this time. Unlike the last one this one looks half dead!” Bruno insulted.

“Hey take that back!” Krys demanded.

“Only if you give me that kiss you owe me!” Bruno declared.

“Hey! Krys doesn’t have to kiss an ugly grizzly bear like you!” Wally stated.

“Oh? You think you’re a tough guy eh? Get them boys.” Bruno commanded.

Both the thugs threw out there pokemon to reveal two sentrets.

“Oh yeah? Go petals!” Krys yelled.

“Go ralts!” Wally yelled.

“If you want to heal that seel you’ll have to win this double battle.” Bruno explained.

“Petals use pound!” Krys ordered.

“Ralts, confusion!” Wally commanded.

“Double quick attack now!” the two thugs commanded.

The two scout pokemon rammed into their opponents before they could make there first moves.

“Are you guys alright?” Krys asked.

Both pokemon nodded their heads and got back up for more. Without being ordered, Petals jumped in and used its tail to pound one of the opposing sentrets. Then ralts sent a purple light at the other sentret sending it skid back a few feet.

“Ralts use confusion.” Wally instructed.

“Use another pound Petals!”

“Quick attack then pound!” the tow thugs yelled in synchrony.

Once again before either pokemon is able to attack, the two sentrets, rammed into their foes, but ralts was able to defend itself by sending a confusion at its opponent before contact but was then pounded by the other sentret causing it to faint. But Treecko came in and pounded the foe causing one of the sentrets to faint. It was now down to one pokemon each.

“Fury swipes!” the remaining thug ordered.

“Hit it with one more pound!” Krys commanded.

Petals went in for the offence but was slashed numerous times but quickly slammed its tail into the sentret sending it skidding a few feet. Both pokemon stared at each other but the sentret then fainted from exhaustion. Petals was tired but still hanged in there.

“Humph…you wimps! You lost to them? Time for me to do what you weaklings could not. Go wingull and zigzagoon!” Bruno shouted.

“Hey that’s not fair! My pokemon is injured.” Krys yelled.

“Like I really care? Zigzagoon use tackle than a wing attack from you wingull!” He commanded.

The raccoon like pokemon rammed into Petals causing it to groan in pain. Then wingull swept in and slammed its wing into the gecko pokemon causing it to faint with many injuries.

“Now attack those two children!” Bruno ordered.

Krys and Wally both closed their eyes expecting the worse but then…

“Yo!” a voice yelled from behind.

The opening theme song for One Piece then suddenly started playing magically.

“Sorry, but that girl is my responsibility!” The voice stated.

Bruno, Krys and Wally turned all turned around to see Jase.

“It’s Jase!” Krys yelled.

“Where is that music coming from?” both Wally and Bruno murmured to themselves.

“Go Coal and Barx!” Jase shouted releasing his pokemon.

“Fine, I’ll get my revenge for what you did to me last time we saw each other.” Bruno declared.

“We’ll see. I’ve been doing some tough training in the forest and you will be surprised at how much stronger I have become.” Jase bragged.

“Zigzagoon use tackle and wingull use a wing attack!” Bruno commanded.

“Coal, use your metal claw and Barx, use your iron tail!” Jase commanded.

Both of Jase’s pokemon use their steel attacks fainting Bruno’s pokemon easily. Then they turned around and attacked Bruno with their steel attacks sending him flying into the sky.

One Piece music ends magically
--------------------

Later they were at the pokemon center.

“Well, Wally has left with his mom for Verdunturf and Joy says that the seel will be just fine.” Krys said.

“Well, it’s good to know that seel is okay, but I could care less about that Wally kid.” Jase stated.

“If you don’t like him why did you bother saving him?”

“Because you were there and I can’t let you get hurt. Besides, just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean I am going to be a skumbag and just let him get injured.” Jase explained.

Krys just stared at Jase until she noticed Joy walking out of the emergency room with two pokeballs.

“Here you go Krys. Your treecko has fully recovered. Oh, and do you mind taking this seel with you? Two days ago, I heard a kid tell his friend that he was going to abandon one of his pokemon because it was too weak. I am guessing this seel must have been the pokemon he was talking about.” Joy explained.

“I guess I will, seeing how it has no where else to go.” Krys said greeting her new companion.

“Can we go now? We are falling way behind schedule.” Jase stated.

Both trainers left the center and entered petalburg woods with a brand-new friend.
--------------------

Well, there’s chapter 7. Hoped you liked it.

MonkeyBoy
16th October 2005, 9:02 AM
No reply eh....

CHAPTER 2: I WILL BE THE BEST!
Jase has finally made it to hoenn. He informs Oak that he has arrived and that he will start his journey tommorow seeing how it has become dark out.

Birch was eating dinner while Jase was outside getting aquainted with his new pokemon. Birch then joins him outside and they both stare at the stars. Birch then asks Jase what's his reason for becoming a pokemon trainer and Jase answers to follow his dad.

Jase tells him of the story of how his dad was the indigo champ for five years in a row. Then one night on Jase's second birthday some thugs broke in threating them. Then Jase's dad got in the way to protect them but there must've been at least thirty of them and his dad and his pokemon were eventually killed by the overflowing pokemon attacks.

Seeing how his dad risked his life for him he wants to become a powerful trainer too. Then there was a moment of silence between the two.

Charmander looked in awe at his new trainer and started trying to tell Jase something. Jase didn't really understand but birch got it all perfectly. Charmander said that hearing that story has encouraged him to become a mighty pokemon someday and surpass his father's pokemon and that he'll remain at his side forever. Jase was shocked that Charmander put out its hand and Jase put out his.

It was the next day and Jase was ready. Birch found him up bright and early and was even more surprised to find him in a battle against one of the neighbours.

It was charmander vs a zigzagoon. Both pokemon looked really exhausted.

Then zigzagoon went in for a tackle but charmander dodged it then hit it with a metal claw then finished it off with an ember.

Birch had to admit that Jase was a natural but he had to work a lot harder if his pokemon is exhausted from fighting one zigzagoon, but then the neighbour informed Birch that Jase had asked the stranger to use 3 pokemon agasint his 1 pkmn. Apparently Jase had dafeated zigzagoon, a lotad and a whismur with only his charmander.

Birch was very impressed. Jase then got his charmander healed up and then he left Littleroot towards his new adventure....


Pokemon can not die! :025n172:

DKzM0mA
16th October 2005, 4:04 PM
How bout the cubone and marowak mother in lavender town?

Atari
17th October 2005, 1:22 AM
Chapter 7 rocked! The story's going well, especially with Bruno. But why does he want a kiss from Kyrs so badly? And how old is Kyrs anyway compared to Bruno? Probably about 8 years difference... Oh well... Maybe it's just puppy love...
Away from that, I liked the One Piece music for the battle background. That was great! Ok, one question - Did Wally join the adventure? The last sentence wasn't that clear to me if it was Seel or Wally that was the new ''friend''.

DKzM0mA
17th October 2005, 2:37 AM
Sry about that but at the end in the pokemon centre krys mentioned that wally left. I was imagining that scene when jase came to save the day in my head and for some reason the one piece music just popped in my head and it kinda fit that situation if u ask me. xD

DKzM0mA
19th October 2005, 6:12 AM
Sorry, I have been busy with school. Well, here's the gym battle we've all been waiting for.
----------

Chapter 8: Winner by more than a Nosepass

After saving a guy in petalburg woods from some guy dressed in red the two trainers finally made it to rustboro city, where Jase plans on getting his first badge.

“God, that took a very long time. At least I got a great ball from that guy.” Jase commented.

“So you saved some wimp getting picked on. Tell me something I care about.” Krys whined.

“Fine, Rustboro is also giving away coordinator cards to people who plan on entering the grand festival in June.” Jase explained.

“What?! I didn’t even know you needed those cards! Thanks for the heads up. I will get my card before you can get your official league card!” she snickered

“Hell no!”

Krys suddenly pulled out a megaphone out of nowhere.

“ATTENTION! THIS TRAINER THINKS HE IS THE BEST TRAINER OUT THERE! THAT IS ALL.” She yelled into the phone.

“What did that do? Jase asked starting to walk away.

As he started to leave he felt somebody tap his shoulder. He turned around to find about seven angry looking trainers with their pokeballs in their hands. Jase could tell they all wanted to battle. Jase then turned around to see Krys running to the pokemon center. This made Jase become redder then his red shirt.

“YOU ALL WANT TO GO? BRING IT ON! I’LL TAKE YOU ALL ON! GO BARX!” Jase exploded.
----------

At the pokemon center.

“Well here is your new card Krys.” Joy said handing her the green card with a picture of Krys’s face and her two pokemon.

“Wow, thanks. Is there anything important I need to know?” Krys asked.

“Yes, there is. Every time your pokemon evolve or you catch a pokemon and decide to put it on your official contest team, you must use that machine over there. You insert the card into the slit and put the contest teams’ pokeballs into the holes and press scan. This is absolutely mandatory. If you enter a pokemon that is not on the card, your request to participate in the contest will be rejected.” Joy explained.

“Wow…I’ll remember that. Thanks again.” Krys said as she headed for the door.

Just as she was about to leave a bunch of trainers run in with injured pokemon for them to get healed. Joy then looked confused wondering how so many trainers got their pokemon beat all at once. The trainers then pointed to the door. Krys and Joy looked at the door open to reveal a worn out Jase. He then faced all the trainers including Krys and then held his arm out straight up showing a peace sign.

“VICTORY!!” he shouted fainting immediately after that.
----------
a couple of hours later…

Jase awoke to find himself in a pokemon center room. He saw Krys outside from his window practicing her contest moves. He found out that Krys gave his pokeballs to Joy after all the battling. He picked up his pokeballs and went downstairs to join Krys.

“Hey.” Jase said.

“Finally wake up eh? How are your pokemon doing? Battling fifteen people couldn’t have been easy.” Krys stated.

“Fifteen trainers? It wasn’t very special. They were really weak but some landed some critical hits on us.”

“Joy said you looked more exhausted than your pokemon” she snickered.

“Well, seeing how it’s about 7pm, I am guessing the gym is closed. I am also worried about Coal. Something-

“Hey, you think you’re all that?” A voice from behind interrupted.

“Are you here for a battle?” Jase asked.

“You bet! You beat my brother today and now he won’t stop crying at home. Prepare to lose!” He declared.

The boy looked about the age of nine and was only about 5 feet tall. He pulled out a pokeball, threw it up and released a Surskit. Jase then released his shiny poohyena.

“Surskit, use a water pulse!” the little boy ordered.’

The water attack just brushed of Barx as if it was nothing. Jase just looked at his opponent in shame.

“Barx, just bite it and go” he said in a dumb expression.

The little bite pokemon just calmly walked up to its opponent, bit it and slowly walked away as his opponent fainted.

“Whoa! You must powerful!” the little boy yelled.

“Yeah, sure.” He said returning his pokemon.

Jase went back inside while Krys decided to train a little bit more. Inside he spoke to Joy about something then gave his pokeball to her.
----------
Later, Krys then walked in to find Joy talking to Jase. Joy & Jase both has worried faces on.

“Don’t worry. Maybe it’s just a late bloomer.” Joy assured.

“Yeah, ok thanks again.”

“Jase is something wrong with Coal? Is he sick?” Krys asked.

“No. I am just worried that Charmander still hasn’t evolved yet, even after all the battles, we’ve been through. The dex says it has surpassed the level where most charmanders evolve. I am not forcing it to evolve; I am just surprised it hasn’t so I thought I’d get it checked.” Jase explained.

“Well, my father told me that some pokemon just evolve when they think it’s time.” Krys informed.
----------
The next day Jase stood in front of the gym. He took out his pokemon and told them to do their best. He entered to find a rocky field. There in the opposite side stood a lady who looked like she was in her twenties.

“Are you here to challenge me?” she asked.

“Yes, I am.” Jase answered.

“Well, I am Roxanne. As you might have found out, we use rock types here. Are you here for a friendly battle, or the intercontinental challenge?” she asked.

“The real deal!” Jase answered.

“Seeing how excited you are, I will come to a conclusion you don’t the stakes you are taking.” She said.

“Stakes?” Jase mimicked confused.

“When the intercontinental championships arrive, the pokemon elite government will only tolerate the best trainers. Only trainers who have completed the badge challenge successfully are allowed to register. So if you lose at a gym even once, you are not allowed to come back until next year. So when you lose you will not have the requirements to participate in the championships.”

Jase looked in awe. He then looked at Krys, who was sitting in the audience seat with a bunch of the trainers he beat before, obviously to see Jase get thrashed.

“That’s all? I’ll whoop every single one of you guys and I will become champion!” Jase declared.

“We shall see. We’ll just start and find out if you are meant to be in the champion circle.” Roxanne said taking out a pokeball.
----------
Both trainers stood on opposite sides. The ref explained the rules. This battle will be 2 on 2. There will be no substitutes and no time limit. The flags were then dropped signaling to release the battling pokemon and start the fight immediately. Roxanne decided to send out her geodude and Jase decided to counter by sending out poochyena.

“Geo, use a mega punch!” The leader ordered.

The rock pokemon then punched poochyena with great force sending it back a few feet.

“Tackle it right back!” Jase ordered.

The little bite pokemon charged and rammed its opponent but did accomplish much.

“Now quick use iron tail!” He quickly commanded.

The little shiny pokemon’s tail started to glow and it slammed it into the rock pokemon’s face skidding it back a few meters.

“Mega punch!”

“Iron tail!”

Both the pokemon ran into each other. Geo smashed poochy’s waist while the little bite pokemon slammed its tailed into the rock’s face. Both pokemon fainted. Both trainers returned their pokemon and released their final pokemon, a nosepass vs. Jase’s Coal.

“Nosepass use take down!” Roxanne instructed.

“Sorry Roxanne but charmander knows a move that can stop your rock in its place. Coal, use metal claw!” Jase ordered.

The little lizard’s claw started to glow and slashed the rock as it charged at him but it seems the Compass pokemon did not feel anything seeing how it just kept running slamming the fire pokemon aside.

“Whoa, metal claw didn’t even scratch nosepass. Jase was depending on that move to lead him to victory. What is he going to do?” Krys asked herself with a worried look.

“Ember!”

The fire attack just bounced off the compass pokemon. It then turned to face its opponent.

“Hyper beam!” Roxanne ordered.

The rock pokemon leaned back, opened its nostrils and out came the hyper beam scoring a direct blow to the little lizard pokemon. Then the rock jumped on charmander and charged up another hyper beam in its nose. Jase got worried but then suddenly came up with something that will buy him some time.

“Use metals and push his nostrils closed!” Jase instructed.

By doing this the hyper beam will be clogged in his nose. Jase then noticed that his pokemon was still undergoing a lot of damage. He then noticed nosepass was still on charmander and that causing damage to its HP.

“You know you lost. Charmander can keep nosepass’s nose closed but the weight will defeat it. Or if charmander uses its hand to push nosepass off, the hyper beam will defeat it. Either way I won. I am sorry, but you are not cut out for the intercontinental championships (ICC).” Roxanne boasted.

“ She’s right. I can’t win…I’m sorry dad, I guess I can’t keep my promise of being the best trainer out there.”

Scenes of his father started to appear in Jase’s head one after the other.

What the hell am I talking about?! I WON’T GIVE UP! I WILL BEAT HER! I WILL BEAT RICK! I WILL THE CHAMPION!”

“Coal, don’t give up! We made a promise to be stronger than my father! To reach that goal we will beat her! Coal we can do this!” Jase shouted giving his pokemon a thumbs up.

After listening to his trainer speak of victory even when they’re about to lose gave charmander the will to go on. Charmander just looked at nosepass and started grinning. Charmander was then covered with white light. Jase knew that his pokemon was evolving. Krys stared in awe as she watched the little pokemon become bigger, faster and stronger. The light dissipated to reveal a brand spanking new Charmeleon!

Pokemon Advanced Battle intro started playing.

“Alright! Coal, lets test out your new powers. Turn nosepass around and release your claws.” Jase instructed.

Following his orders he turned his opponent around, despite it weighed over 200 pounds and released its claws and let the hyper beam hit the ceiling.

“Metal claw!” Jase commanded.

The fire pokemon slashed its claws sending the rock pokemon smashing into the ground.

“Now before it gets up! Use Ember!” Jase swiftly commanded.

The new fire pokemon opened its mouth and blasted the rock pokemon. Roxanne was shocked to realize that nosepass was being move back from the attack. When the fire stopped, the rock pokemon was severely burned.

“Finish this off with an iron tail!” Jase ordered.

Before Roxanne had time to counter attack the lizard slammed its glowing white tail into nosepass, fainting it!

I’m unbeatable…Pokemon! END
----------
“Congratulations Jase! You defeated me in a most crushing victory. I present to you, the stone badge. With that you’ve taken the first step into the ICC.

“Thanks! I should be thanking you the most Coal. Without you I know I couldn’t have won that battle.” He praised as he returned it.

“Oh, and Krys you are planning on becoming a pokemon coordinator correct? If so, you should stop by Dewfy Island. They will be holding a pokemon contest there in 3 days. It is right in-between Petalburg and Dewford Island.” Roxanne informed.

“Oh, thank you much.” Krys thanked.

The two trainers walked outside only to see a familiar face getting robbed again…
----------
Hoped u liked this chapter

DKzM0mA
19th October 2005, 9:39 PM
For the next chapter, a familiar face will be appearing. Actually two familiar faces, that you might find shocking. Read to find out. Chapter 9 will be up later, but I got mid terms coming up.

Sexy May lover
19th October 2005, 10:21 PM
WOW! This is getting good. Phew spelling mistakes and grammar problems but u got a fan out of me^^

Atari
20th October 2005, 1:14 AM
All of the battle scenes so far are awsome! ...you must have put a little thought into it... And again, the battle background music worked really well. Although now I can't seem to get the song out of my head... Also a plus 10 for the part where Charmander evolved when he was in trouble... That was awsome

Sexy May lover
21st October 2005, 2:54 AM
I don't know if it's just me but sense romance in the future for Jase and Krys. But it seems there's nothing for Rick(unless he's gayO_O)

DKzM0mA
21st October 2005, 2:57 AM
Hmmm...A strong silent type that is gay eh? Sounds interesting, but I don't think that will be the case.

Sexy May lover
21st October 2005, 10:55 PM
Um...i understand that you have a life, but Any idea wen the next chapter will be up?

gamefreak9210
22nd October 2005, 1:12 AM
I wanna fix something i've been seeing alot. its about your quotes.

You end them like this
example:

."Rick said.


It should be:

," Rick said.

Use commas instead of periods if your using the persons name for the closing.



Anyway this...I really like and i look forward to the next chapter.

blackemerald
23rd October 2005, 1:12 PM
Just read your fic,sounds good.Few spelling mistakes but that is why God invented spellcheck.Keep up the good work

gamefreak9210
24th October 2005, 3:58 AM
um wen will next chapter go up?

DKzM0mA
24th October 2005, 4:38 AM
Sorry bout the time off. I had school to get through. Anyway herez Chapter 9.
--------------------

Chapter 9: Run in with the champion
--------------------
“Grimer use pound!” the nerdy opponent ordered.

“Dodge Nidorino! Now use horn attack!” our hero Rick ordered.

The poison pin pokemon stabbed its horn into the sludge pokemon fainting it.

“Awesome job nido. Return,” Rick praised as he returned his pokemon to its pokeball.

“I can’t believe I lost,” the nerd sulked.

“Well you did. So I believe you owe my friend here, a fossil,” Jiroo said.

“Aww crap. Fine, here take the Helix fossil,” the nerd said while handing over the fossil.

“Cool, a fossil. Now all I need is to get to cinnabar island so I can regenerate it into an omanyte,” Rick said.

“Actually, they made a new research center over at cerulean city, because some weird pokemon destroyed it about 15 years ago. They made one in cerulean because Mt. Moon” has a lot of fossils,” Jiroo explained.

“Well then I’m about to get a new pokemon!” Rick yelled.
--------------------
After a little walking they exited Mt. Moon.

“I think we should rest at that summit for a little bit. We should also let our pokemon out for some free time,” Jiroo suggested.

“All right.” Rick agreed.

“Come on out guys!” both trainers yelled.

Both threw out their pokeballs to release their pokemon. Jiroo then opened his backpack and got some pokechow for the pokemon to eat. Rick got some bowls out and Jiroo poured the stuff into the bowls. Then the pokemon started chowing down.

“Man, I’m so close to getting my second badge. I can’t wait to kick some cerulean butt. I also can’t wait to regenerate this fossil into an omanyte,” Rick said.

“Well, you’re going to have quite a challenge ahead of you. I know the gym leader there, and she’s pretty tough. Her husband is the utmost powerful trainer in all off the regions. He conquered all gyms in every region and then even defeated every single elite four member in both kanto and hoenn. He was also the first trainer ever to defeat ever brain at the famous battle frontier,” Jiroo explained.

“Woah, how come I haven’t heard of him? Besides, it’s not like I’m battling him. Do you know him?” Rick asked.

“Yep, I knew him even before he was the champion. He was the first guy ever to beat my brother when he was the gym leader back in pewter city,” Jiroo informed.

“Hey you!” a voice from behind yelled.

“Crud, it’s TR!” Rick yelled.

“We’re not just any old grunts! We’re admins and we’re going to take the fossil you found!” the admin with blue hair declared.

The two admins then threw two pokeballs to reveal powerful looking pokemon. They was an arbok and a weezing.

“Rick those are powerful pokemon. I don’t think we can beat them,” Jiroo said.

“You’re right. Those are high level pokemon. We’re not strong enough to defeat them,” Rick agreed.

“Arbok use sludge bomb on that nidorino!” the red haired female admin ordered.

“Weezing use hidden power on that combustken now!” the blue haired male admin ordered.

The large snake pokemon fired a blast of poison right at nidorino fainting it.

“Crap. Even though nido was a poison type itself, it fainted.

Weezing then went for the attack. Torch tried blasting it with an ember but weezing dodged. The poison gas pokemon’s eyes started to glow, and blasted combusten fainting it. Both of the admins’ pokemon then faced Rick and Jiroo. The two trainers thought they were finished until-

“I don’t think so you buffoons!” a voice from behind called out.

The two admins then turned around to see nothing.

“Up here you clowns!” the voice shouted again.

The admin looked up to see a middle aged man on a pidgeot. He jumped down and recalled his bird pokemon back to its pokeball.

“My, my, my. It has been a while twerp.” The red haired admin said.

“Yes it has. You guys still work for team rocket? I thought I defeated Giovanni and disbanded TR for good?” the man said.

“We work the TRR! That stands for Team rocket rebels!” the blue haired admin said.

“Yet you guys still wear those same uniforms. Jessie, you still have that ugly haircut and James, you still carry that rose around. You guys need a life.” The man snickered.

“Shut up! Go weezing!” James commanded.

“Go arbok!” Jessie commanded.

“Pikachu, quick attack them!” the man ordered.

A pikachu that was on the man’s shoulder then rammed its head into both pokemon fainting both of them.

“If your guys were going to start TR again, you could’ve done some training. End this with thunderbolt!” the man ordered.

The little electric mouse then blasted a massive thunder attack, which sent TR blasting off into the sky. Rick just stared in amazement as he defeated the two TR admins without trying.

“Hey Ash, it’s been a while,” Jiroo greeted.

“Hey Jiroo. Who’s your friend?” Ash asked.

“Oh, this is Rick. He is planning on entering the ICC. He already beat me. He is planning on challenging Misty soon,” Jiroo explained.

“Well then, you’re out of luck then Rick. Misty isn’t the gym leader anymore,” Ash explained.

“What?! Who’s the leader then?” Rick asked.

“My daughter, Ren. She’s about your age.” Ash explained.

“Wait. Didn’t your daughter just start her journey?” Rick asked.

“Well… she studied about pokemon since she was only 5. Misty just recently gave her a totodile as her starter. She thinks she will be a powerful trainer because she studied everything about pokemon,” Ash informed.

“I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but I don’t think she will be the best unless she actually goes out into the real world and battle trainers out there.” Rick said.

“I totally agree with you Rick. You can’t be the best without gaining experience in the real world.” Ash agreed.

“Can I ask you for a favor? Would you mind if we had a little battle?” Rick asked.

“Sure why not. 3 on 3 sound good to you?” Ash asked.

“That’ll be great,” Rick replied.

“I’ll referee for you guys,” Jiroo said.
--------------------
“Go Donphan!” Ash yelled releasing the large armored elephant pokemon.

“Go Nido!” Rick yelled releasing the poison pin pokemon.

“Let the battle begin!” Jiroo declared.

“Use horn attack now nido!” Rick yelled.

“Dodge then use fissure!” Ash countered.

The armored pokemon jumped behind the poison pin pokemon then stomped its foot on the ground releasing a blast striking nido fainting it.

“Woah. Return nido, and go Buzz!” Rick yelled.

“Return Donphan. Go, Crawdaunt!” Ash summoned.

“Buzz this should be easy, use thunderpunch!” Rick commanded.

“Launch a dual hyper beam!” Ash ordered.

As the little Elekid ran towards the opposing pokemon, the crab opened both claws and launched a hyper beam from each claw fainting elekid.

“Sh!t! Return buzz. Go Torch!” Rick yelled.

“Return crawdaunt and go sceptile!” Ash yelled.

The grass pokemon glared at its opponent trying to intimidate it, but no luck.

“Torch, use an ember!” Rick ordered.

“Sceptile, bullet seed!” Ash countered.

The barrage of bullets easily blasted threw the fire attack and impacted with Torch fainting it.

“Such a weak grass attack defeated Torch so easily…” Rick mumbled to himself.

“Hey Rick are you okay?” Jiroo asked him.

“HELL YEAH! That was the best battle I ever had! Besides, I wasn’t trying to win. I was trying to learn something, and now I am confident that I will defeat the cerulean gym leader!” Rick yelled.

“Well then lets go get your pokemon healed up and head towards the gym!” Ash yelled.
--------------------
“Your pokemon should be healed within the hour” Joy informed.

“Thanks” Rick said.

He went over to the bench, where Ash and Jiroo were sitting. He sat down and noticed Ash was staring at him.

“Is something the matter?” Rick asked.

“You look kind of familiar. Would you happen to know a guy named Brendan?” Ash asked.

“Yeah, he’s my older brother. He went on his journey when I was really young.” Rick explained.

“Thought so. I met him back in the battle frontier. We both battled and I came up on top but he was a really tough customer.” Ash informed.

“Well there you are!” a voice from behind said.

The three guys turn around to see an orange haired woman with blue pants, wearing an orange shirt with a blue vest over it.

“Oh, hey babe.” Ash snickered at her.

She quickly smashed his head with a fishing rod, blushing at the same time.

“Hey Misty” Jiroo greeted.

“Hey Jiroo, how’s the family going?” she asked.

She then noticed something and went to the door. She opened it and dragged in a young girl. She wore and blue tanktop with blue sweat pants. She has clear blue eyes and soft sapphire hair. It was obvious this girl liked the color blue.

“Jiroo, this is my daughter Ren. She’s the new gym leader of cerulean city.” Misty explained.

“Hey Ren, you got your first challenger right here” Ash said pointing to Rick.

“So you’re my first challenger eh? You seem pretty lame though.” Ren said.

“Lame or not you have to battle me.” Rick barked back.

Rick then got up and started heading for the door.

“Rick what about your pokemon?” Jiroo asked.

“I have to run an errand first, but then I’ll beat you” he explained pointing at Ren.

He then walked out.

“Well you got to admit that he has confidence. I can’t wait to see this battle.” He said to himself.

Ash knew that this might be a tough battle, but is he talking about the gym battle or something else?
--------------------
Hey guys, again I apologize for all the downtime. I have midterms coming up and it’s getting rough but I’ll keep updating.

Sexy May lover
24th October 2005, 4:41 AM
NOOOO! I hate cliffhangers T^T. Great chapter! Man Rick got wooped badly and I can't wait too see the battle against those two. Once again awesome chapter:)

PS: LOL jessie and James are still there.

gamefreak9210
24th October 2005, 7:43 AM
still forgetting ur commas :-/

Sexy May lover
25th October 2005, 1:24 AM
still forgetting ur commas :-/

no i think he has used the commas everywhere, i tihnk

DKzM0mA
26th October 2005, 11:44 AM
Sry might take a lil while for the next Chapter cause of skool

Atari
27th October 2005, 2:01 AM
Again, the latest chapter was so awsome! Nice timeing for Ash and the Team Rocket battle. I was amazed that they actually got inserted into the story :p . I also think it's awsome that Ash & Misty finally got married. Way to look into the future! Well, as for the questions :rolleyes: :If Ash and Misty exist in the story, then shouldn't May be somewhere in the reigon? I mean, if Kyrs took place of her, then who was Ash with when he was in Hoenn?

Sexy May lover
28th October 2005, 11:27 AM
Again, the latest chapter was so awsome! Nice timeing for Ash and the Team Rocket battle. I was amazed that they actually got inserted into the story :p . I also think it's awsome that Ash & Misty finally got married. Way to look into the future! Well, as for the questions :rolleyes: :If Ash and Misty exist in the story, then shouldn't May be somewhere in the reigon? I mean, if Kyrs took place of her, then who was Ash with when he was in Hoenn?

Omg lol. You're right. I'm confused now :/

DKzM0mA
28th October 2005, 12:34 PM
Another gym battle! Pretty long in my opinion.
----------
Chapter 10: Clash of ancients
----------
Rick awoke to find Jiroo polishing his kabuto’s shell. The little selfish pokemon was sleeping through the good deed. Rick got out of bed the opened the curtains. The bright awoke kabuto instantly. Rick found his pokeball that contains Torch.

“It’s a beautiful day today Torch. Perfect for a gym battle,” He said.

Rick then got dressed, and started polishing his pokeballs. He let out his pokemon to let them stretch before the match. Jiroo then started brushing Torch with a brush and gave it some pokechow.

“That’s a weird looking pokechow,” Rick commented while tying up his shoe.

“It’s a special pokechow that I made myself. If I am going to be a great breeder, I need to know how to make great pokechow,” Jiroo explained.

“Well, it seems like Torch likes it. You’ll make a great breeder some day,” Rick said as he turned his head to see Misty entering the room with some bacon with her.

“Good morning Misty,” Jiroo greeted.

“Hey, thanks again for letting us stay here for the night,” Rick thanked while chomping down on some bacon.

“It’s no problem. We can’t let you stay in the pokemon center if Ash doesn’t want it. When he has his mind set on something, he’ll never change his mind,” She said.

“But isn’t it that determination that made him champion?” Rick asked.

“I guess so. Anyways, Ren has gone out for a little bit. I believe she told me that she’ll be ready to battle you in three hours,” Misty informed while gathering up the plates.
----------
Misty then went up to the roof to get some air but was surprised Ash was already there. Ash didn’t even notice she was there. He was just staring into the blue sky. Misty got worried. It wasn’t like Ash to just stare into space. It was breakfast but he was the last one to eat. As much as Misty was worried, she knew what the problem was.

“So you know that she’s going to leave right?” Misty asked.

“Yeah, I know it’s going to happen. It’s the only way she’ll become strong. It’s just going to be hard watching her go,” Ash said as he put his hands behind his head and started walking away.

Ren was outside doing some shopping. As she walked around she saw a brand new pokeball shop open up. She ran in to inspect the shop and maybe buy some. A lady then walked up to her and asked if there is any specific type of pokemon she would like to catch.

“Yeah, I’d like any pokeballs most efficient for catching water pokemon,” Ren informed.

“Then you would like lure balls.” The store lady explained pointing to a shelf on the other side of the store.

Ren walked over to the shelf she told to go. There she found strange blue balls with a white bottom and little red stripes on it. The sign said it was a lure ball, so she took 3 lure balls and headed for the cashier.

“Give us the pokeballs in this shop now!” a man yelled.

“If you don’t we’re going to blow this place up! We’ve hidden a bomb in this mall and if you don’t hand over every pokeball you have, say good bye cerulean mall!” the second man yelled.

Ren inspected the men. They were both wearing black uniforms with a big red R in on the shirt. She knew it was team rocket.

“ I have to stop them, but if my pokemon get hurt I’ll lose my match against that guy. My match is in 10 minutes. My pokemon can’t get healed that fast in the pokemon center,” Ren thought to herself."

Suddenly there was a bumming on the door.

“If this is the police you’re sacrificing the lives of many people!” one of the grunts yelled.

“This isn’t the police,” the voice yelled from outside the door.

The grunt opened the door only to get punched in the face by a kid. Ren was surprised too see it was Rick and her father Ash.

“Crap, it’s the champion! Whatever, we’ll kill you too!” the grunt yelled.

“That’s it! We’re going to start the bomb!” the second grunt yelled.

“You mean this thing right here?” Rick asked as he found a metal box with wires on it.

“Sh!t he found it! Time to start it up!” the grunt yelled pressing a red button on his watch.

A beeping sound was then heard from the box in Rick’s hands. He looked at Ash and they knew what to do. Quickly he threw the bomb to Ash and watched as ran.

“Go Charizard!” Ash yelled as he released a large, orange, winged lizard-like pokemon.

He quickly jumped on and started flying to the roof of the mall 3 floors up. The lizard pokemon then blasted the roof with a powerful fire attack making a huge hole in it. They then flew through the hole.

“Back on track, go slugma!” one of the grunts yelled.

“Go, raticate!” the second grunt yelled.

“Go, buzz and nido!” Rick joined.

“Ember attack!”

“Then use bite!”

“Buzz, use quick attack to avoid the attacks then use thundershock on both of them. Nido use focus energy than ram them with a horn attack!” Rick instructed to his pokemon.

The little electric pokemon dashed above the two charging pokemon then used thundershock to electrify its opponents. While buzz was doing this, nido was focusing its energy while a blue aura surrounded it. It then charged at its opponents stabbing its horn into the rat pokemon. While they were battling, Ren took this chance to see how her father was doing, but as soon as she thought of this there was an extremely loud BOOM.

“Ren go see if your dad is alright. I’ll take care of these scumbags!” Rick yelled.

Nodding her head she ran past them and ran for the door. She ran out the exit and searched for her father. Near a huge crowd, she found Ash lying on the ground with his charizard under him. He just gave her a thumbs up as he slowly got up with his injured fire pokemon.

“I’ll be okay. You go check on Rick,” Ash instructed.

“Ok, but be careful.” She pleaded.

She quickly made her way back to the mall. She found Rick still battling the two grunts. He and his pokemon looked very exhausted.

“Beedrill, use pin missile!” the grunt ordered.

The bee-like pokemon’s huge needle’s started to glow and pins started emerging from them slamming into his two pokemon fainting them.

“No fair! You guys must’ve used like six pokemon!” a little boy from the group of people trapped yelled.

“Who cares? As long as your only defense has been defeated,” the grunt yelled.

“Well, I care,”

Both the grunts turned around to see a middle aged man wearing a cape with a pokeball in his hand.

“No, it can’t be. You’re Lance!” one of the grunts yelled.

“He’s the most powerful of the elite four!” the second grunt yelled.

“Go, kindra! Use hyper beam!” Lance ordered throwing his pokeball to reveal a large blue pokemon.

The blue dragon blasted a fiery like blast at the two grunts blasting them into the sky.

“Thanks Lance.” Ren thanked.

“No problem,” he said as he walked up to Rick. “Thank you for protecting these innocent people. Because of you none of them got hurt. In recognition, I’d like to give you this. It’s the HM01 known as Cut.” He explained handing Rick the HM.

“Wow, thanks a lot Lance.” He thanked.

Lance then released his dragonite, got on and flew away through the hole Ash had made earlier.

“Since your pokemon are injured, I’ll postpone our match until tomorrow,” Ren told Rick.

“Hell no! I still got two pokemon, so lets get back to the gym and start our battle!” Rick informed.
----------
Both were back at the gym. Ren and Rick stood on opposite sides of the field filled with water. Ash and misty were sitting in the audience. Jiroo was the referee. The field was completely filled with water and had a couple of flat rocks in some parts of the field so land pokemon can stand on.

“Too bad Rick’s elekid got injured. He probably could’ve won this battle,” Misty said to Ash.

“Well, if you didn’t know this, maybe I should tell you now. Ren will lose.” Ash informed.

“How can you say that about your own daughter?!” Misty scolded.

“You’ll see what I mean,” Ash calmly said.

“This battle will be a 2 on 2 pokemon battle with no time limit. Both battlers may not substitute. Recalling a pokemon before it has fainted will be declared defeated!” Jiroo explained. “Both battlers release your first selection!” he signaled.

“Go totodile!” Ren yelled.

“Go Torch!” Rick released.

Both pokemon landed on rocks opposite of each other. They both glared each other down, until one would make the first move.

“Gater use water gun!” Ren commanded.

“Now, dodge and use ember!” Rick ordered swiftly.

The fire pokemon jumped over the water attack and blasted the crocodile pokemon with its own fire attack knocking into the water.

“Well, it looks like he did learn something from our battle,” Ash said.

“What do you mean?” Misty asked.

“Watch,” Ash said.

“Gater, dive into the water and bite it from the back!” Ren instructed.

“Wait for it…” Rick mumbled to himself as he watched the water.

He concentrated hard on the water. He started to shift his eyes around the arena and finally saw a shadow swimming towards Torch from the back.

“Quick Torch, turn around and use a mega punch!” Rick once again commanded swiftly.

Just as the little blue pokemon jumped out of the water it was smashed in the faced by Torch’s mega punch sending slamming into rock fainted.

“Return Gater. You did a good job. Go reli!” she yelled.

Her next pokemon was a rocky fish pokemon that looked asleep but it was wide awake.

“This pokemon took a while to train but I finally got it to a high level,” she bragged.

“Torch get ready!” Rick warned.

“Reli use take down on all the rocks in the arena!” Ren ordered.

Following orders, it started smashing into ever rock in the arena. One by one the number of rocks started to decrease, until only one rock remained, the rock that Torch was standing one. It started swimming towards the fire pokemon faster and faster.

“Try an ember!” Rick cried out desperately.

The fire pokemon opened its mouth and start barraging the rock fish with its fire attack but because of the dual type advantage, the relicanth seemed unphased. Finally the water/rock pokemon smashed into the rock, making Torch fall into the water. The fire pokemon seemed to losing Hp just sitting there in the water, which inedepbily made it faint.

“Return torch, you did an awesome job.” He praised. Rick took out another pokeball. He had a worried look on his face. He then threw the pokeball in the air. “Go, nyte!” he yelled.

The white light revealed a little blue pokemon with a shell on its back. Ren took out her pokedex and was informed that this pokemon was an omanyte, a pokemon that went extinct at least 10,000 years ago. Jiroo then figured out what was the errand Rick went on earlier. The problem was Jiroo doubted if Rick had anytime to train it at all. It was now a battle between two pokemon which were thought to be extinct long ago.

“Water gun!” both trainers yelled.

Both the ancient pokemon blasted jets of water, colliding with each other evenly.

“Reli use take down!”

“Dive under, come back up and hit it with a mud shot!” Rick countered.

The rockfish pokemon swam quickly at its opponent only to miss by a little bit as the little spiral pokemon dove under and coming back up with a blast of mud impacting with the rockfish pokemon.

“This is what I mean. Rick is a quick thinker like me. By waiting for Ren to make the first attack he can come up with some way to counter it.” Ash explained to Misty.

“Reli, water gun!”

“Dodge then hit him with another mudshot!”

Once again the little spiral pokemon dodged the rockfish’s offence and blasted it with another chunk of mud. Relicanth was now getting exhausted. Ren knew it was getting tired so she had to finish this in one shot.

“Full charged take down now!” Ren yelled.

“Use a continuous water gun! Don’t let up, just keep blasting!” Rick instructed.

As the rockfish pokemon charged at its opponent, the little spiral pokemon just kept blasting it with a cold jet of water. The little omanyte was giving in, and it seemed to be wearing down its opponent. Just as the rockfish pokemon was about to strike is stopped.
Ren had a confused look on her face, but Rick knew that relicanth fainted.

“Omanyte wins, so this battle goes to Rick Birch!” Jiroo declared.

Ash and Misty came down from the audience to congratulate the winner.

“How did I lose? He even used a fire pokemon and still beat me,” Ren asked.

“Cause there is one difference between you and Rick. He has left his home and his family. He has been into the wild and he has gained instinct. That is why I am relieving you of your gym leader status. I want you to go with Rick on his journey and become what you want to become.” Ash told Ren.

Ren was in thought but soon lit up. “Fine, I’ll join Rick on his journey and when I become the best water pokemon trainer I’ll be back!” Ren yelled.

“As for you Rick I believe you have earned this. It’s the cascade badge.” Misty said handing the blue tear drop shaped badge to him.

“Awesome, my second badge! Do you know where the next gym would be?” Rick asked the couple.

“You should head over to vermillion city. You can battle there.” Ash informed.

“Great! Lets go crew!” Rick yelled.

And so they were off as Ash and Misty watch their baby walk off into the distance. The three all were traveling to be the best. The Best master, the best water trainer and the best pokemon breeder.
----------
Well, therez the chapter. BlazikenTyplosion, don’t worry. I had a plan for this little thing you came up with. You will either be shocked or surprised. I guarantee you.

Well, I’ll update soon! DKz out

Sexy May lover
28th October 2005, 9:03 PM
Omg well i was surprised when ren decided to join. I also cant wait to see how u planned out the may thing.

Hip-Hop Master
29th October 2005, 10:53 PM
that story's amazingly amazing
i really like the detail. in the first 2 chapters u pretty messed up but.. then u got the hang of it.

ya know i think jase and rick are a bit like ash and krys is like misty and/or may.

and kewl..u have ash and misty...but what bout brock?

DKzM0mA
30th October 2005, 2:58 PM
that story's amazingly amazing
i really like the detail. in the first 2 chapters u pretty messed up but.. then u got the hang of it.

ya know i think jase is a bit like ash and krys is like misty and/or may and rick well...hmmm....uh...erm....ummm...brock?...no....b renden?....maybe

and kewl..u have ash and misty...but what bout brock?

Thanks for reviewing. Yeah chapter 1 and 2 are pure crap. I wrote those when i wasn't really experrienced with writing. When I have some time I am planning on re-writing those chapters.

Felix Feral Fezirix
30th October 2005, 5:12 PM
*Kills you with a knife and mangles your dead body* PROOFREAD, FOR GOD's SAKE! Like Dragonfree said, yous hould run through it. Everything is fine, and the plot is great, but only one thing is sh*t and that's your grammar. Tey typing the way I do. It's coherent. It makes your fic easier to read. And it attracts more people and gives a better first impression. You should do it yourself instead of having Dragonfree point out every single bloody one. Well, looking forward to the next chapter. Drop me a PM, can't be bothered to click around Fanfiction for some reason XD. Right, Pika out.

Hip-Hop Master
30th October 2005, 10:25 PM
*Kills you with a knife and mangles your dead body* PROOFREAD, FOR GOD's SAKE! Like Dragonfree said, yous hould run through it. Everything is fine, and the plot is great, but only one thing is sh*t and that's your grammar. Tey typing the way I do. It's coherent. It makes your fic easier to read. And it attracts more people and gives a better first impression. You should do it yourself instead of having Dragonfree point out every single bloody one. Well, looking forward to the next chapter. Drop me a PM, can't be bothered to click around Fanfiction for some reason XD. Right, Pika out.


yous hould run through it

Tey typing the way I do.

lol. Ur actin like you NEVER made any errors in your story. And no, we cant understand how u type unless u give us a video or somethin'. And you just made 3 errors. I dont even know what yous and hould mean. Its TRY not TEY. No-one can be perfect. U just made 3 typos when you were tellin' other people to "type" like u did. I hate arrogant ppl.

Atari
31st October 2005, 9:24 PM
Chapter 10 was weird. In the mall scene it makes you think if the Rockets had something better in mind rather than stealing all the pokeballs. I mean, why the heck would a couple of Rockets kill everyone in the mall with a bomb just for that sole purpose? Some Rockets I just don't get :p ... Also why did Lance come in to save them? It seems he always wants to be the hero (he probably doesn't have any thing better to do than spend time in the sky with his Dragonite...). So anyway, the title "The Clash of Ancients'' was a good title for the match. Exept the battle with Omanyte vs. Relicanth was much to short to gain the title. It was still good, though. I bet Rick wasn't that surprised anyway to beat Ren after her parents told him that she'd never been out on an adventure out into the region. And like Bareneyasha, I didn't expect for Ren to actually join. Ha, ha.

P.S. I just read your messages, and I'm now hoping for a Chapter 11 soon.

DKzM0mA
1st November 2005, 1:45 AM
*Kills you with a knife and mangles your dead body* PROOFREAD, FOR GOD's SAKE! Like Dragonfree said, yous hould run through it. Everything is fine, and the plot is great, but only one thing is sh*t and that's your grammar. Tey typing the way I do. It's coherent. It makes your fic easier to read. And it attracts more people and gives a better first impression. You should do it yourself instead of having Dragonfree point out every single bloody one. Well, looking forward to the next chapter. Drop me a PM, can't be bothered to click around Fanfiction for some reason XD. Right, Pika out.

Aite I know i aint no Steven King or anything and I know I aint perfect but like I said before, the first two chapters suck *** so i said i was planning on re writing them.

Felix Feral Fezirix
2nd November 2005, 1:02 AM
Okay okay, I was typing in the dark so I couldn't see the keys. You try typing in the dark with a monitor edge 3 cm above your left hand. And well, you should have a spellchecker. You do make an effort to not make mistakes, I can tell. I am full well aware that I am not perfect or I would be God. Yeah, go harp about "you're a fine one to talk, your typing is also crap", but at least I have split personalities that scream at the writer personality about grammar. You? I'm guessing you are a normal, sane person, so use a spellchecker. Well at the very least you could correct the spelling in your siggy. Gives a better impression. And you could use posting as practice, typing words out completely. Graagh. Well, now that I'm more sane and less sleep-deprived like at last post(which was made at 3 in the morning), I shall do something more sane. *clicks on a button labeled subscribe*

DKzM0mA
5th November 2005, 1:02 AM
Sorry about all the downtime again. My mid-term exams are next week so don’t expect any updates soon after this.
--------------------
Chapter 11: Eggcited for the contest!
--------------------
“Thank you so much! You two have not just saved my staff once, but twice from the same culprit! I am truly grateful!” the middle aged man wearing business clothes said.

“It was no problem! It is just amazing that we met Devon Corp’s president!” Krys exclaimed.

“So what exactly did that magma thug want?” Jase asked suspiciously.

“I’m sorry but I can not reveal that to you. Oh, I also need to ask you two to do me a little favor, if it’s okay with you guys,” the president asked.

“Sure, what’s the favor?” Jase questioned.

“You two are traveling all around the region correct? Any chance you two will be stopping by Dewford town and Slateport city?” he asked putting his hands together.

“In dewford, Jase will be battling the gym leader there, and I will be competing in the contest in slateport.” Krys answered.

“Well then, do you mind taking these packages to slateport for a man named Captain, Stern Jr.? Also, do you mind delivering this letter to my son in dewford? His name is Tai. He is a pokemon trainer just like both of you,” the man explained thoroughly.

“Since it’s on the way, I’m sure we can make these deliveries.” Jase agreed staring out of the window into the giant city.

“Of course, I am not going to let you do something for me without doing me repaying you for doing this for us. Here take these devices. They’re the only ones out there. They are called pokemon advanced navigators, or p.a.n for short. They have multiple functions compared to the too the regular pokenavs. These also have the hoenn region map, your pokemons’ condition, number of ribbons and trainer eyes. You can also merge your pokedexes with this nav allowing it to give you more detailed information about foe pokemon. Also, every trainer you register in the nav’s exact location can be pinpointed anywhere in Hoenn.” The president explained, but it sounded like he was bragging.

“Cool, it’s also a cellphone,” Jase discovered.

“Thanks Mr.President!” Krys thanked.

“Oh, please just call me Stone, Steven Stone.” Steven said.
--------------------
After exiting the building, our heroes start heading towards petalburg forest, knowing that they have a special tool of getting to Dewford.

“Hey, lets register each other in our navs!” Krys suggested.

“All right,” Jase agreed pulling out his nav and punching in some numbers.

“So are you sure this Briney dude can take us to Dewford and dewfey?” Krys asked.

“He said he owes you a favor for beating that magma thug and saving his pokemon. I would’ve done it myself, but my pokemon were injured from my gym battle. And from the info I’ve gathered, it appears he was a fisherman in his day,” Jase shared.

“So you’re assuming he has a boat?” she asked.

“Wow, you’re a quick learner,” Jase teased.

Krys decided to ignore the sarcastic comment and just admired the flowers as they walked through the woods toward the old fisherman’s cottage. While they were walking they noticed a little pokemon following them. Jase then inserted his pokedex into a slot in his nav and the little olive coloured pokemon’s information popped up.

“Shroomish the mushroom pokemon. Shroomish live in damp soil in the dark depths of forests. They are often found hiding under rocks because of its shy nature” the nav explained.

“Doesn’t look like it’s hiding under a rock to me,” Jase commented poking at the mushroom pokemon’s head with a dumb look on his face.

“Stop that. I want to battle it with me treecko,” Krys pleaded. “Don’t make it run away!” she yelled releasing her gecko pokemon.

“Okay, but make it quick. I want to get to dewfy island before it gets dark,” he explained.

“Treecko use pound attack!” Krys ordered.

The little gecko pokemon quickly ran up to its foe and slammed its tail on the mushroom’s head. The shroomish back off, grumbling in pain but then launched a tackle attack.

“That was pretty strong,” Jase stated.

“Quick attack!” Krys commanded.

With a streak of light, treecko rammed into the little mushroom pokemon send it skidding a few metres back. Krys then ran up to her pokemon congratulating it, assuming she has won the battle. The little mushroom pokemon then opened its mouth and blew out a yellow coloured dust at Krys and her gecko pokemon.

“Krys, watch out that’s a stun spore!” Jase yelled.

But it was too late, the dust had surrounded the two and left them on the ground weakened and ill. Jase then took out his pokemon.

“Coal get rid of the shroomish fast!” Jase ordered.

The lizard pokemon went in for and iron tail, smashing the little mushroom far away.

Jase then ran up to Krys and felt her head. She was burning up, and fast. By the time he got back Rustboro it might be too late. Jase had only one choice left. He returned treecko back to its ball, and picked Krys up. He noticed she was unconscious. He ran as fast as he could to their original destination.
--------------------
Jase finally got out of the woods and started searching for a the cottage they saw the last time they were here. After searching a little bit, he found the house and barged in without knocking. Inside was an old man chasing his little wingul around the room. The old man noticed the two and ceased playing.

“Oh it’s you two! You’re the ones who saved my peeko!” the old man exclaimed. “ Why are you carrying that sleeping girl?

“Well, you see-

“You don’t have to explain. I fully understand!” Briney stated. “Young love brings warmth to my heart.”

“No seriously, my friend here is seriously ill!" Jase yelled.

“What happened?”

“A shroomish sprayed her with stun spore.” Jase explained.

“Oh dear, this isn’t good. Humans can’t take the affect of stun spore as well as pokemon can!”

“I’ll take atleast 3 hours to walk to Petalburg and the same goes for rustboro!” Jase yelled getting extremely worried about the safety of his friend.

“Then we’ll have to take her to Dewford. It is an hour boat drive. Come with me, we’re taking her to dewford A.S.A.P!" Briney declared.
--------------------
Outside Briney brought Jase to his boat. The boat was shaped like a wingul and had enough room for 5 ppl. I had the same floor plan as a regular car, with 2 seats in the front and 3 in the back.

“You let her in the back, so she may lie down,” Briney instructed.

She placed her in the back with her head on his lap. Briney gave him a wet towel to put on her head. Jase then put on his seat belt, being warned by the former sailor that it was going to be a bumpy ride.

“OFF WE GO!” Briney shouted as the boat quickly sped over the water.

Jase was very impressed with the speed of this small boat. But he was still worried about Krys. She was still burning up. Peeko was a big help too. Every once in a while, peeko would wet Krys’s towel when it started to get dry.

“Looks like we got trouble!” Briney shouted.

Jase looked out to the sea to find dozens of carvanha! The dex told him that they are very territorial pokemon. If you crossed their property, they would continue to chase you until they got rid of you.

“If they catch us, we can’t get your friend to the hospital!” Briney yelled.

Jase then threw a pokemon up into the air to reveal his lizard pokemon Coal.

“That won’t do any good. They’re water pokemon, fire attacks won’t harm them!” Briney growled.

“That’s what they said about rock against fire pokemon, but I beat Roxanne. Just keep driving and I’ll hold them off!” Jase bragged with a smirck on his face. “Coal ember those buggers out of the way!”

The lizard pokemon opened its mouth and started blasting fire like a machine gun turning its head hitting all the savage fish pokemon.

Most were hit and moved out of the way, but they started to follow the boat. Jase’s pokemon just kept blasting behind the boat hoping to scare them away, but these fish were determined pokemon.

“Damn, they won’t give up!” Jase stated.

“Peeko help them out, blast them away with gust!” Briney yelled to his pokemon friend.

The little wingul started flapping its wings bak and forth creating a strong wind blasting a few carvanha back. Meanwhile the lizard pokemon continued its offence on the savage fish pokemon.

“They’re gaining!” Jase yelled. “Can’t you go faster?!”

“I’m glad you asked that!” Briney yelled pushing a red button.

Jase then noticed that the wings on the wingull shaped boat started to spread out and jets popped out. Jase knew what was coming up next. The jets then blasted out and the boat sprung into full speed! Jase felt like his eyes were going to pop out!

“OH MY F***** GOD! THEY’RE STILL BEHIND US!” Jase yelled at the top of his lungs. He then noticed that all of the carvanha started to glow! “JESUS! THEY’RE ALL EVOLVING?!”

The savage herd of fish pokemon soon became a the herd of brutal shark pokemon known as sharpedo!

“Sharpedos are extremely fast swimmers! Even with the jets I dint think we can out pace them all!” Briney yelled.

“HELP! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!” a voice yelled.

Jase turned his head to see an elderly women in the middle of the ocean, and the sharpedos were headed her way!

“Stop the boat! We have to save her!” Jase exclaimed.

“We can’t! We’ll be jeopardizing the safety of your friend!” Briney yelled but then noticed that Jase had already jumped out of the boat and started swimming towards the old lady. Coal then put a plastic bag over his tail then dived in after his trainer.

“He’s as stubborn as an ox. Peeko go assist the lad!” Briney ordered.

Jase reached the elderly woman with his fire pokemon by him. Jase knew this was going to be a hard battle, but he needed to protect the old woman from being devoured by the brutal shark pokemon.

“Coal use iron tail, then use ember on anything that comes close after that,” Jase instructed.

“Please be careful,” the old woman pleaded.

The fire pokemon slammed its glowing white tail into one of the shark pokemon but another came from underwater and slashed charmeleon.

“ Damn…coal can’t take much more of those hits,” Jase thought to himself

Another shark pokemon tried to attack the old lady from the back.

“Coal, use metal claw!” he ordered very quickly.

The fire pokemon smashed its glowing white claw into the foe but, the lizard pokemon was getting very exhausted. Suddenly another sharpedo appeared and rammed into Jase himself. Jase was just as injured as his fire pokemon was. Both him and the old woman were getting worried.

“Why are you protecting me? You could have stayed on the boat and just leave me be here. I am an old woman, no point for a youngster to protect me and get injured. Please, swim away! I will distract the shar-

“Sorry lady but shut up! I am protecting you because I have the power to protect you!” Jase yelled.

“You don’t have the power to defeat the sharpedo! You cannot protect me without getting killed!” the old lady yelled

“Wrong! Everyone has the power to protect someone! It doesn’t matter how weak you are or how small you are. Not having the power to protect someone just means you’re afraid to try and protect them! I was once protected by someone who gave their life for me! He protected me and my mother, knowing that he was greatly out numbered! If I don’t protect someone because I’m too scared, I don’t derserve to be called a pokemon trainer!” he yelled just as a sharpedo jumped and tried to attack Jase.

After hearing his trainer’s powerful words, Coal quickly smashed the sharpedo away with a metal claw. It refused to let its trainer die! It opened it mouth and starting barraging all the shark pokemon with its ember attack.

Briney looked back and saw how hard Jase and his pokemon are working to protect someone they barely know. He knew he couldn’t abandon such a good person as Jase so he turned the boat around to assist Jase.

“Coal’s ember is still not strong enough to old of the shark pokemon!” he mumbled to himself. He then turned to see Briney jump in the water with him.

“Peeko use wing attack!” Briney ordered.

Just then one of the sharpedos headed for the boat.

“Crap! Krys! I don’t think so!” he yelled pulling out and throwing a pokeball to reveal his shiny pokemon Barx. He then jumped in the boat with barx beside him. “If you want Krys, you got to go through me you fishy bums!” He stated.

The sharpedo jumped but was knocked away with barx’s iron tail. Another jumped in an attempt but Jase used his bare hands and pushed back into the sea only to get metal clawed by barx.

Suddenly from out of nowhere one of the sharpedos were blasted away with a water attack.

He turned around to see a middle aged women with brown hair and a green bandana with a pokeball design on it. “Everyone back into the boat!” she yelled standing on her blastiose.

Once everyone was in the boat she threw out another pokeball to reveal a delcatty. “Delcatty use thunder!” the mysterious woman ordered.

The cat pokemon then blasted a huge electrical bolt knocking out every single sharpedo! Jase stared in awe at how powerful this woman was.
--------------------
After that huge incident the group finally made it to Dewford town was at the local hospital.

“So doctor, will she be alright?” Jase asked.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” he answered revealing Kyrs right behind them.

“Krys how are you feeling?” Jase asked quickly.

“Good,thanks to you guys!" she said smiling.

“Excuse me young man, but I have to thank you a lot. You risked your life for mine, and for that I want you to have this,” She said handing him a blue egg with arc-shaped horns at the top.

“But-

“I will not take no for an answer! I good hearted person like you deserves this!” she said grinning.

“Thanks a lot ma’am!” he thanked, then started heading for the door.

“Jase, where are you going?” Krys asked.

“I have to do something. You rest up Krys. Your contest is tomorrow,” He reminded heading out the door.

Krys just smiled and watched Jase walk away somewhere into the sunset. “ Thanks for protecting me Jase ” Krys thought to herself.

Outside Jase seemed to be searching for someone and found her at the port.

“Hey!” he yelled.

It was the same woman who saved them from the sharpedo earlier.

“I just wanted to thank you again for saving us,” Jase said smiling.

“It was no problem. I must say you are a very brave boy. You risked your life for someone you just met. You remind me of my old friend,” She said staring out into the sunset.

“Well I know how it feels to have someone protect you when you are in danger. I couldn’t let that woman die. If he was here and saw me just leave her there, he’d yell at me,” Jase informed her staring out into the sunset aswell.

The girl was confused, as he didn’t tell her who he’s talking about. She didn’t ask because by the look on his face, it seemed it was personal.

“Oh, how rude of me. I didn’t introduce myself. Hi, I’m Jase Mackenzie, the future ICC champion!” Jase greeted.

“Wow, so cocky. Yep, you are just like my old friend. Anyways, my name is May. May Michaels…
--------------------
Well, there you go. Sorry it took so long, but my exams are on Tuesday. Hoped you enjoyed reading this!^^

DkZ out

Sexy May lover
5th November 2005, 4:01 AM
wow, may is back! Her squirtle evolved into a blastiose, that awesome! But there are still some spelling mistakes, but besides that it was a great episode!


“OH MY F***** GOD! THEY’RE STILL BEHIND US!” Jase yelled at the top of his lungs. He then noticed that all of the carvanha started to glow! “JESUS! THEY’RE ALL EVOLVING?!”

This really cracked me up! xD

Felix Feral Fezirix
5th November 2005, 4:32 AM
Hmm...You have serious need of a spellchecker as said before. And your thought didn't come out in italics because the closing thingy is [/i] not [i].

The funniest moment goes to the Carvanha evolving.

And May is already a woman, not a girl.(Yes I know I'm nitpicking, but little errors seriously bug some people excluding me in a very flaming way).

Yay for Blastoise? Hmm...I must really watch my Pokemon. Oh well.

Bah. Pika out.

Hip-Hop Master
5th November 2005, 5:43 PM
WHOA!!! AWSOME CHAPTER!!!

good for you

*clicks on suscribe to thread*

p.s. will there be a kissing part ;) :) :D

:club:

Sexy May lover
5th November 2005, 11:26 PM
WHOA!!! AWSOME CHAPTER!!!

good for you

*clicks on suscribe to thread*

p.s. will there be a kissing part

sorry i'm new and dont come on much, but what does subscriping mean?
And i hope there is a kissing part^^

Hip-Hop Master
5th November 2005, 11:38 PM
suscribing means that if someone posts a messege on this topic; youll get an email or if u selected no u wont, but if u go to user CP (user control panel) youll see who posted what and u wont have to go searching through fanfic or any other topic.

hope this helped.

PM me if u want any more info on anything.

:club:

DKzM0mA
5th November 2005, 11:45 PM
I've decided to give you guys a little part of the next chapter.

Good, luck in your contest Krys!

Thanks Jase

Oh, this is my friend named May Micheals. Hey wait Krys, what was your last name again?

Krys just stared at May and she stared back. Both looked shocked. Jase starting to get intimidated by the looks started backing off. Both then pointed at each other.

"YOU!!!"

There you go, I'll try to get the next chapt up by TUesday morning at the latest. But i'm not promising anything, so i'll pm u guys^^

gamefreak9210
6th November 2005, 1:46 AM
I've decided to give you guys a little part of the next chapter.

Good, luck in your contest Krys!

Thanks Jase

Oh, this is my friend named May Micheals. Hey wait Krys, what was your last name again?

Krys just stared at May and she stared back. Both looked shocked. Jase starting to get intimidated by the looks started backing off. Both then pointed at each other.

"YOU!!!"

There you go, I'll try to get the next chapt up by TUesday morning at the latest. But i'm not promising anything, so i'll pm u guys^^




now i think suspense took over all my thought and i want to kill myself. u better write it before i reach the cliff...j/k

Hip-Hop Master
6th November 2005, 5:42 PM
now i think that i cannot take it anymore and if it is not up by tues. i shall kill you!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

lol j/k

Sexy May lover
6th November 2005, 10:21 PM
I don't think I could kill sumone but...I WILL WATCH THEM KILL YOU WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE SO YOU BETTER POST IT UP!

MUAHAHAHAAHAH

DKzM0mA
7th November 2005, 3:50 AM
gulp...*starts writing next chapter* But, seriously, i got mid-terms on tuesday, so I'll try my best to get you the chapter by tuesday morning. Also guys, if you don't mind, can u guys point out my mistakes? Thx a lot.

Hip-Hop Master
7th November 2005, 9:12 PM
sure why not? but eh um ill be writing my own story so ill point out your mistakes afterwards

girly
9th November 2005, 2:44 AM
when are you going to post the next chapter. it is getting very intresting. i was wondering about mays family. who are they? ;228; ;249-d;

girly
9th November 2005, 2:45 AM
please type back soon

Air Dragon
9th November 2005, 11:58 AM
DKzM0mA, this is getting good! i really enjoy the split story. all in all, a great fic already! No errors yet, but i'm a not such a critical, careful reader. however, if i see them, i'll let you know (in between postig my own fanfic)! Later!

girly
9th November 2005, 12:53 PM
when are you going to post next chapter. what about mays family. who are they.:172bros: :025n172:

Felix Feral Fezirix
9th November 2005, 2:45 PM
Hey girly, would you mind editing your posts instead of posting again and again? ANd give him a break, we have lives outside this forum. So for the love of God, use the edit, and give him time. Otherwise the chapter's gonna be complete crap.

DKzM0mA
9th November 2005, 8:24 PM
Hey guys…sorry that I didn’t make the deadline I promised *puts on bullet proof armor*. But here it is!
--------------------
Chapter 12: A Dewfy Battle!
--------------------
“JASE!” Krys yelled.

Jase, who was sleep asleep in his bed, suddenly woke up from the loud racket. Krys just looked at him and started laughing like a baboon on crack at the sight of Jase’s pillow hair. His hair was sticking up, down, sideways and some was in his mouth.

“Ugh…why are you waking me up?” He asked pulling out his watch. “It’s still only 6am. Your contest isn’t until 11am.” Jase reminded.

“But you promised that you’d help me train!” Krys blurted out.

“I didn’t promise to train with you at 6am…but since I’m up, I’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes” Jase informed.

“While you’re there comb your hair!” Krys yelled out laughing like crazy again.
--------------------
After Jase got ready both started eating their cereal. Jase was eating peacefully while Krys made it obvious that she wanted to start training. Jase then saw this and put his bowl down.

“Krys, what pokemon are you going to use in the contest?” Jase asked.

“Well, I think I will use Petals, since he’s my strongest,” Krys answered.

“Krys, contests aren’t about the strongest pokemon. From the contest guide it says coordinators use attack combinations to pull of beautiful sights. Don’t tell you’re going into your first contest in a couple of hours and you don’t know even know how a contest works!” Jase yelled.

“You mind explaining it to me?” she asked with a dumb look on her face.

Jase just fell on the ground asking himself why he was stuck with her. "Just use treecko’s attacks and mix’em to make something pretty,” Jase explained making Krys sound like a child.

“Okay!” Krys assured.

“Now Petal knows pound, bullet seed, quick attack and absorb. What can I do from these four attacks. I got it!” she yelled in excitement.

Meanwhile Jase had left the pokemon center to take an early morning walk. He decided to let his pokemon out to stretch their legs. He threw two pokeballs in the air to reveal his two partners.

“I think I should start catching more pokemon. I wonder what’s going to hatch from this egg that old lady gave me,” Jase thought out loud.

“<Maybe it’ll be another charmeleon,>” Coal spoke out.

“Maybe your right, but you’re all I need,” Jase commented, but the dropped his jaw on the ground as he realized that his pokemon just talked his pokemon language but he understood it as if it was english. “Coal, what’s my name?” he asked his lizard pokemon testing if his ears weren’t playing tricks on him.

“<Your name is Jase,>” Barx answered. ‘<You don’t know your own name? Are all humans dumber than psyducks or is it just me?>”

“<It’s definitely you,>” Coal answered poking the canine’s head.

“Oh god, first Krys and now I can hear my pokemon bully each other. Jase…what have you got yourself into” Jase cried.

After walking for a while, Jase noticed he was at Granite cave. He then remembered something and pulled a package.

“I still got to find the president’s son. What’s his name again? Damn, I don’t remember.” Jase swore under his breathe and kept walking guessing random names… “Kane…no, Jack, I don’t think so Jase..? No that’s my name!”

“Are you looking for Tai?” a voice asked behind Jase.

Jase turned around to see May with a beautifly standing behind her. “Tai! That’s the name!” Jase yelled remembering the name.

“Well, if you’re looking for him he’s inside of the cave training. I ran into him looking for a moonstone,” she explained. “He’s pretty good for a trainer his level,” she commented.

“I got a package for him. But it looks pretty dark in there.” Jase shuddered.

“My beautifly knows flash. We’ll take you there,” she offered.

“Thanks!”
--------------------
Meanwhile…

“Okay Petals, it’s perfect! You’ve really improved!” Krys complimented.

“<Gee, thanks!>” petals thanked rubbing the back of her green head

“It’s cool how I can understand you talking now. You too Dewy!” she said rubbing her pokemons’ heads.

“<You bet. Everyone loves me talking. Who would hate me talking?>” dewy the seel asked.

“Anyways, The contest is in 2 hours. I hope Jase can get back in time from whatever he’s doing,” she pondered.

“<Don’t worry, I don’t think he would leave his girlfriend waiting for him!>” Petals smirked.

“He’s not my boyfriend…” she said.

“<Yeah, that Rick guy is her boyfriend!>” Dewy yelled.

“Yeah…he is…my…-

“Excuse me, but can you move your pathetic excuses for pokemon out of the way? They’ll get my pokemon all dirty,” a voice said interrupting Krys.

Krys turned to see the scum who insulted her pokemon. It was a guy about her age and her size, wearing a green jacket had blue eyes similar of those to Rick. He was brushing his little mouse like pokemon. Krys took out her navidex and scanned it.

“ Cyndaquil, the fire pokemon. This pokemon protects itself by flaring up the flames on its back. The flames become more vigorous the more this pokemon gets angry, but the flames dissipate as Cyndaquil becomes more tired,” the dex explained. ”

“You’re little mouse is no bigger than a rattata, so you shouldn’t be insulting my pokemon!” Krys scolded holding up her fist.

“Sigh, it’s obvious you’re a newb. Size does not matter. It’s skill that’ll win the battle,” the guy explained.

“Who you calling newb, you jerk!” Krys yelled. “I don’t even know who you are, but already I want to kill you!”

“If you must know, my name’s Crim. I’m here to gain a ribbon at the contest here,” he informed while recalling his pokemon back to its pokeball.

“Well, I’m Krys Michaels, the future owner of the ribbon of dewfy island!” she bragged.

“Wow, so cocky for a newb. Anyways I have to prepare my speech about how I love stomping on newbs like you,” he said while walking away.

Krys just stood there feeling like fire was boiling her blood. He then turned and recalled both her pokemon to their pokeballs and started preparing for the upcoming contest.
--------------------
Back at granite cave…

Jase and May were traveling deeper and deeper into the cave. Jase felt happy over the new pokemon he just captured.

“Jase that was a pretty impressive battle,” May compliment.

“Thanks. If it was able to give my poochyena some competition, it was worth catching,” Jase said throwing his pokeball up in the air repeatedly like a baseball.

“Look it’s a second cave. There’s a cave in a cave?” Jase asked with a dumb expression.

“I think the word you’re looking for is tunnel. There is a tunnel in a cave, not a cave in a cave…” May informed.

“Fine, lets enter this “tunnel”, sheesh…girls,” Jase said under his breathe.

“Who’s there?” a voice called from a rock above the two.

Jase and may looked up to see a trainer wearing an orange shirt with a blue vest over it. He was also wearing the same cap as Jase was wearing except it was orange. His black hair was flowing in a draft coming in from somewhere. The trainer stared Jase down with his emerald eyes, but Jase stared back. May seemed be examining some rocks while the two trainers were staring each other down.

“What do you guys want?” the trainer asked.

“Your name Tai?” Jase asked.

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” he asked.

“I got some package for you from your dad,” Jase informed showing him the package.

The trainer jumped down and opened the package. It was a stone that had some sort of weird lightning bolt pattern on it.

“Great, another stone. All dad ever sends me are stones. I don’t need this thunder stone,” Tai declared.

“Oh, you mind if I have it? I need it for something,” May asked.

“Take it. Anyways, thanks for going out of your way to give this to me. I’ll be going now,” he said walking away.

“Oh ****! Krys’s contest! May, I got to go! The pokemon contest will start in 20 minutes!” Jase explained and started running towards the entrance.

“Oh my god, I’m participating in that contest!” she yelled and started out running Jase.
--------------------
After running a lot both made it the contest hall.

“Jase where were you?!” Krys yelled not noticing May.

“I was at granite cave. I delivered Steven’s letter to Tai,” Jase explained.

“Oh I see, anyways I got to get to my contest,” she said.

“Good luck in your contest Krys!” Jase supported.

“Thanks Jase”

“Oh, this is my friend May Michaels. Hey wait, Krys what was your last name again?” he asked.

Krys just stared at May and she stared back. Both looked shocked. Jase starting to get intimidated by the looks started backing off. Both then pointed at each other.

"YOU!” both of them yelled.

“Huh?” Jase muttered looking very confused. "You two know each other?"

“She’s my sister…” Krys confessed.

“She’s your sister?!” Jase yelled out.

“She’s my baby sister,” May added.

“I’m not a baby!” Krys blurted out.

“Wait a second…so you have a little brother and an older sister?” Jase asked.

“No, I have a younger brother, an older sister and an older brother,” Krys explained.

“Her older brother and my younger brother is named Max. He’s on his pokemon journey somewhere. We haven’t heard from him for a while now. The other Max at the gym right now is known as Max jr.” May explained.

“May here is world champion coordinator, so when I beat her today, I’ll be the best,” Krys said smirking.

“Just try your best getting past the first round baby sister,” May teased.

“Umm ladies don’t you think you should get going?” Jase asked pointing to a clock showing that the contest started in 2 minutes.

In an instance both the trainers dashed leaving a fiery trail behind them and leaving Jase in the dust.
--------------------
The contest started and there were many great appeals. Jase was impressed of many of the trainers. The next trainer was a guy named Crim Sun and his cyndaquil.

“Cyndaquil flame up!” Crim ordered.

The little fire mouse pokemon cried out and flames spurted out of his back.

“Now use rollout!” the mouse’s trainer ordered.

With its flames still on its back, the cyndaquil started circling its trainer in a perfect circle. Crim was perfectly in the middle. Then still rolling, the fire pokemon jumped over his trainer leaving a fiery arc above him that soon dissipated.

After this marvelous appeal the judges awarded Crim a 29.7. Both Jase and Krys were very impressed by his attack combination. It was then Krys’s turn.

“Go Petals!” she summoned releasing her green gecko pokemon.

“Just like we practiced! Use bullet seed in the air! Then quickly use absorb!” Krys ordered.

The gecko pokemon opened its mouth and fired yellow seeds but then surrounded itself in a green light and the seeds came rushing back at Petals.

“Now use a spinning pound!” she swiftly ordered.

Petals stood on one toe and started spinning and all the bullets dissipated on contact with the spinning pokemon leaving yellow sparkles everywhere.

“Ok, how that is possible, I don’t even know,” Jase muttered to himself.

“Great appeal. You’ve done well for your first contest,” The judge commented. He gave Krys a 27.8.

May then went up and released an ivysaur.

“Ivysaur, use your vines and spin them around! Then use petal dance followed by sleep powder,” May ordered.

Ivysaur’s vines started circling the bulb on its back like a tornado. It then released petals from its bulb and the petals started circling the bulb as well. After that a sparkly blue dust was sprayed from the flower and it too then started flying in the tornado.

“Stop spinning…now!” May ordered.

The seed pokemon stop spinning the vines which released the powder and the petals everywhere. The petals prevented the audience from falling asleep. The petals all gently stared flowing everywhere with the blue dust making it a majestic sight. The judge had no choice but to award her with a 30.0!

Even though Krys did not want to admit it, she knew May was a genius at this kind of stuff. She was then petting Petals and preparing her for the battle round. Jase then walked in with a bottle of water.

“That was amazing Krys. I am surprised you came up with that in just a couple of hours,” Jase complimented.

“Thanks, I was surprised it actually worked,” Krys said.

“Anyways you’re up against that dude with the cyndaquil. He looks tough so be careful,” Jase warned.

“Don’t worry, I can handle a little pokemon like cynadaquil,” she assured.
--------------------
Back on the battlefield Krys and Petals were standing on one side of the arena and Crim and his cyndaquil on the other.

The ref then announced the rules. “This will be a one on one pokemon battle. The time limit will only be five minutes. If the times runs out before either pokemon have fainted, and trainer with the most points wins. Trainers…ready…START!”

“Cyndaquil use flamethrower!” Crim ordered.

“Petals dodge with quick attack and use bullet seed!” Krys countered.

The fire mouse pokemon opened its mouth and blasted a fire attack straight at the gecko pokemon, but the grass pokemon was able to dodge and retaliated with a bullet seed, hitting the target. Crim’s points were lowered, but nothing that should get you worried.

“Petals go in for a pound!” Krys ordered.

“Smokescreen!” Crim commanded.

The fire mouse blasted smoke at its opponent, temporarily hiding itself. When the smoke cleared Petals was attacked from the back by the fire pokemon’s rollout attack. The fire pokemon circled around its trainer once and went in for the attack again.

“Petals…umm…pound?” Krys ordered unsure if she made the right attack.

The gecko tried hitting the rolling pokemon, but was swat away, not harming her opponent at all.

“I know! Use bullet seed on the ground in front of cyndaquil!” Krys commanded.

The gecko pokemon blasted a hole in front the rolling pokemon knocking it of balance after rolling over it. “Now use pound!” she swiftly ordered.

Petals used its tail like a bat hitting the midair cyndaquil like a baseball. The fire pokemon was knocked on the ground and was very injured.

“Finish it off with another pound!” she commanded.

Just as the gecko was about to smash its tail into her opponent-

“Use flamethrower on the ground!” Crim quickly instructed.

The fire pokemon blasted the ground with flamethrower elevating it. It went high up and Petal smashed the ground with its tail.

“Rollout!” Crim yelled!

The fire pokemon soared down spinning and rammed into the gecko pokemon’s head knocking it out.

Krys was left speechless. She couldn’t believe she lost. She saw Crim give her a thumbs down and say something, but he was not heard over the crowd cheering. Even though he wasn’t heard, she knew what he said. He said “newb…” and with that she recalled her pokemon and ran out of contest hall.

Jase then ran out to see how she was doing. Jase found her crying her eyes out behind the hall beside a dumpster.

“Krys…” Jase didn’t know what to say. He felt bad for her. He knew that it wasn’t losing that bothered her. It was the fact that May defeated her. She was right about her never being able to win.

He walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m proud of you Krys. You battled like a pro,” Jase complimented. “Who cares if you lost. He just got lucky. Come on, let’s go to the pokemon center. I’ll buy us something,”

“Why aren’t you ashamed of me? Don’t you feel embarrassed to be seen with a loser like me? Leave me here,” Krys said.

“Krys! I want you to stand up this instance!” Jase ordered yelling like some gym teacher telling you to do push ups.

Krys looked at him in a strange way.

“SO WHAT IF YOU LOST. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO THE NEXT TIME YOU BATTLE CRIM! SO LETS GO GET SOME ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW OR I’M GOING TO GET VERY MAD,” he yelled with his head as big as a beach ball.

Krys started to giggle a little bit. Jase failed to see what was so funny. Krys started laughing loud now. “You’re funny man. First the hair, and now your beach ball head. Ok, fine we’ll get ice cream, but you’re buying!” she teased starting to run.

“Hey no fair!” he yelled back starting to chase her.

Off the two ran becoming great pokemon trainers and going too eat ice cream!
--------------------
Sorry that I couldn’t make the deadline, but my parents didn’t allow me on the computer cause of mid-terms, but I snuck on at night and finished this. Expect the next chapter around Friday-Sunday. Thx again for reviewing^^

girly
10th November 2005, 12:02 AM
I really liked that chapter. Thanks for telling the part about May. Also i have a life away from the computer too. Pikachu is not my favorite but, I am one of the ten percent.;257; and other cool loking pokemon. Some cute ones also.
My favorite though is Rukrio. Oh ya can't wait for the next chapter.

girly
10th November 2005, 2:46 AM
I need some advice. My friend said I sould write a novel. After reading my literary story for the school newspaper. Can you give me advice on how to do that please.

DKzM0mA
10th November 2005, 5:48 AM
There is a thread on ADVICE FOR ASPIRING AUTHORS THREAD (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19) everything u need to know is there. Also plz dont double post. I want this thread clean.

Sexy May lover
10th November 2005, 1:10 PM
An amazing chapter! Krys lost wow to some replacement of drew no doubt. You also didn't tell us about the new pokemon Jase caught, unless ur revealing that next chappy. Any ways a great chapter!

Off topic: Girly don't double post, use the edit button, thats y its their. Also there is a thread called advice for aspiring authors stikied. You shouldn't beasking stufff like that in DKz's thread.

DKzM0mA
10th November 2005, 1:25 PM
Hey guys, herez a spoiler regarding the next chapter.

"C'mon out!" Jase shouted throwing his pokeball high up to reveal his newest pokemon.

"Woah, Jase when did you gett that pokemon?" Krys asked.

"I caught it at Granite cave! It really Barx a lot of trouble" jase answered.

"Then is must be powerful" Krys commented.

"It doesn't matter, it's at a clear dis advantage!" ??? boasted.

"We'll see about that!" Jase yelled. "Lez do this!"

Hip-Hop Master
10th November 2005, 9:10 PM
ASH???

Holy gamoly theres ash?

I thought he was in Kanto....

oh well cant wait to read the next chapter.

p.s. girly 3 words, DONT DOUBLE POST. theres a pretty lil' button at the bottom that sez EDIT

DKzM0mA
10th November 2005, 9:32 PM
Bah, didn't mean to put Ash, but i fixed it.

Felix Feral Fezirix
11th November 2005, 1:00 AM
It's fine...But I think Krys should have been angry the whole day. Bah. Oh well. Nothing else to say. Oh yeah and your typos might wanna use a spellchecker. That's all. Pika out of the grave. That's right, I'm a zombie. Nyahahaha.

Atari
11th November 2005, 1:41 AM
Chapter 11: Wow. I didn't think Mr.Briney would be so heartless.

“OH MY F***** GOD! THEY’RE STILL BEHIND US!” Jase yelled at the top of his lungs. He then noticed that all of the carvanha started to glow! “JESUS! THEY’RE ALL EVOLVING?!”
Heh, funny part.

Chapter 12: Man, you just had to kill me with the cliff-hanger-spoilers! Blah!


Krys turned to see the scum who insulted her pokemon. It was a guy about her age and her size, wearing a green jacket had blue eyes similar of those to Rick. He was brushing his little mouse like pokemon. Krys took out her navidex and scanned it.
Hey, speaking of Rick, hows he doing in the Kanto reigion all by himself?


The contest started and there were many great appeals. Jase was impressed of many of the trainers. The next trainer was a guy named Crim Sun and his cyndaquil.
Underline Crim Sun. Sound like a familar word? Weird.

Keep up the good spoilers... I mean story

Sexy May lover
11th November 2005, 4:21 PM
Hey guys, herez a spoiler regarding the next chapter.

"C'mon out!" Jase shouted throwing his pokeball high up to reveal his newest pokemon.

"Woah, Jase when did you gett that pokemon?" Krys asked.

"I caught it at Granite cave! It really Barx a lot of trouble" jase answered.

"Then is must be powerful" Krys commented.

"It doesn't matter, it's at a clear dis advantage!" ??? boasted.

"We'll see about that!" Jase yelled. "Lez do this!"

Omg, i was right-_-
But i wanna knowww what that pokemon wassss!!!!! If you dont hurry up and tell us I will convert to this-------------->:snowlax:

Air Dragon
12th November 2005, 3:18 PM
Once again the story to determine the Greatest League in the Pokemon World continues to confound, dazzle and amuse its readers! Great job, DKzM0mA! May I hazard a guess at Jase's new Pokemon being a(n) Aron and his next opponent Brawly? Just a guess, though. This fic is cool, keep it up!
Later!

P.S. Thanks for reviewing!

Hip-Hop Master
14th November 2005, 1:32 AM
Baran, 'tis a spoiler, its meant to piss, u put u off. :). If u think i'm like meaqn, look at my info. IM SERIOUS. lol. Oh yeah and dont rush teh poor guy peeps. Oh yeah, and hos Rick doin'? I suggest you write about Rick in the nest 2 chapters. Bah. Its up to u. I'm just giving you advice.

DKzM0mA
14th November 2005, 3:18 AM
Next chapter will be on Jase, but after that we'll stick with Rick for a while..

DKzM0mA
16th November 2005, 11:49 AM
Sorry for the Dp but thought i'd just tell you, my computer gotta get cleaned out so i'll have the next chapter up by tommorow by the latest.

DKzM0mA
17th November 2005, 1:47 PM
Hey, midterms are all finally finished so herez the next chapter.
--------------------
Chapter 13(uh oh bad luck): Jase’s memories in the rain
--------------------
“You can do it! Coal, metal claw!” Jase ordered.

“Dodge it Machop then use a mega punch!” the muscular, blue haired gym leader ordered.

The superpower fighting pokemon was able to avoid the metal claw of coal and then went in for its counter.

“Catch it fast! Then show him your foot!” Jase swiftly ordered.

As the punch was coming, Coal managed to grab hold of the fist. Then lifting his foot, the little fire kicked the superpower pokemon’s stomach fainting it.

“Good job Coal!” Krys shouted from the sidelines.

“Wow, that’s a powerful pokemon. But, it’s no match for my next pokemon! Go Makuhita!” Brawly summoned.

The pokeball he threw shot a blinding white light and revealed a little chubby pokemon. Krys pulled out her navidex and scanned it.

“ Makuhita, the gutsy pokemon. This pokemon goes through harsh training, making its body able to withstand series of attacks. This pokemon’s life style is eating training then sleeping, ” the dex explained.

“Sounds like a lazy pokemon to me” Krys insulted under her breath.

“Makuhita, use an arm thrust attack!” Brawly ordered.

“Ember!” Jase commanded.

The chubby little pokemon starting running over to its opponent, but the fire lizard started blasting the gutsy pokemon with its fire attack only to see the makuhita continued to run as if the ember attack did nothing.

“Sorry, but Makuhita has an ability called Thick Fat. With this ability, fire and ice attacks only do half the normal damage,” Brawly boasted.

“Okay then, Coal use a slash attack!” Jase commanded.

The fire pokemon ran up to the guts pokemon, and slashed its stomach with its sharp claw. But then Makuhita then shot its left arm into Coal’s face sending it skidding back a few feet.

“Damn, Coal is still injured from its battle with machop. Since Coal’s special attacks won’t do much, I’ll have to rely on its physical strength,” Jase thought so himself. “Use Metal claw!”

“Counter that with a mega punch!” Brawly instructed.

With a glowing white claw, Coal managed to avoid the mega punch and slash his claw against the chubby pokemon’s head, dealing some damaged, but then makuhita then punched Coal away, on its own accord. Coal hollered in pain holding its stomach.

“Finish it off! Focus punch!” Brawly ordered.

With a powerful punch, Coal soared across the battle field knocked out. Jase called his pokemon, praising it as well.

"C'mon out!" Jase shouted throwing his pokeball high up to reveal his newest pokemon. It was rather small with its silver armor.

"Whoa, Jase when did you get that pokemon?" Krys asked.

"I caught it at Granite cave! It really gave Barx a lot of trouble" Jase answered.

"Then is must be powerful" Krys commented.

"It doesn't matter; it's at a clear disadvantage!" Brawly boasted.

"We'll see about that!" Jase yelled. "Lets do this!"

Krys pulled out her dex and scanned the pokemon.

“Aron, the steel armor pokemon. This pokemon is said to have the most powerful armor of all the pokemon. An explosion from a bomb could hardly penetrate it,” the dex explained.

“Iron defense!” Jase commanded.

The little armor pokemon start to glow in a white light making its defense even stronger. Brawly seemed to not pay attention.

“Use a tackle!” Brawly ordered to his chubby pokemon.

“Dodge it and use iron defense!” Jase quickly countered.

The little armor pokemon ran around its fat opponent and engulfed itself in a bright white light. Jase just smirked. He knew his little pokemon had the advantage over the chubby guts pokemon.

“Go, use mega punch!” Brawly ordered.

“Dodge again and iron defense!” Jase repeated.

Once again the little aron was able to dodge its opponent and repeated its same move.

“Now use metal claw!” Jase ordered, finally going on the offence.

With a little glowing claw, the little steel pokemon slammed its claw into makuhita’s head. Makuhita was obviously exhausted.

“Makuhita use a full power focus punch!” Brawly shouted getting frustrated.

“Aron just take the attack,” Jase instructed.

“But Jase! Aron is weak against fighting attacks!” Krys yelled out, but it was too late. The fighting pokemon made contact, causing an explosion with smoke surround the two pokemon.

“Can you spell P-A-I-N? This game is over!” Brawly yelled out grinning.

“Can you spell N-O? But you’re right. This game is over,” Jase declared.

As the smoke cleared, Brawly was shocked to find aron still standing. Krys checked the dex to find that aron only lost half its HP. Jase just smirked.

“Metal claw!” Jase ordered.

With a glowing claw jabbing into makuhita’s stomach, the chubby pokemon finally fainted. Krys jumped out of her seat, happy to see Jase end up victorious. Jase just smirked congratulating his pokemon on its job well done. Brawly just stared in awe but then took what Jase wanted from his pocket.

“That was killer dude! You really deserve this badge! I, Brawly of the Dewford gym, appoint you with the Knuckle badge!” Brawly congratulated.

Jase just continued smirking as he accepted the badge and exited with Krys and his new pokemon.
---------------------
“That was awesome Aron! You’re really going to fit in with everyone,” Krys commented.

“I think I will nick him…Gron,” Jase declared.

The little armor pokemon was pleased with his new name. <“Awesome, I have a new name! Go Gron! It’s your birthday!”> Gron chanted.

Jase and Krys both looked at the little steel pokemon with dumb faces. “Great another one…” both said in unison.

Jase then pulled out his navi and pressed a button that would show him the map. The screen started to glow and a little blue light appeared above it. The little light then became a holographic square showing all the locations in the Hoenn region. Krys was amazed with this technology. She poked her finger right through it, surprised to find out it wasn’t even solid. She then continuously poked through it, like it was her first time looking at light. Jase just looked at her with a stupid expression on his face.

“What are you doing Krys?”

“How do I see the map but can’t touch it?” she answered still poking the map.

“Ever heard of a hologram?” Jase asked making her sound primitive.

“Yeah, that what comes on my TV right? But I can touch my TV! Why can’t I touch [i]this thingy?!” Krys yelled getting frustrated.

Jase just smacked his head and continued walking towards the pokemon centre. Krys then caught up with her friend and both ran to the center before it got dark.

At the pokemon center, Jase got both his pokemon and Krys’s pokemon from Nurse Joy. Jase walked up to their room door and opened it. Jase walked in deep in thought of something but when he looked up, he saw something was going to kill him. Krys just turned bright red as he walked in while she was changing. Jase dropped the towel and exited the room while he still had legs to run on. All he heard was a loud scream. But Jase couldn’t tell if it was a scream or embarrassment or the scream of a murderer.

“GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!” Jase heard her yell.

Jase slowly walked in. The room seemed empty and quiet. It seemed a little bit too quiet. Jase slowly walked in, preparing himself for anything. He heard a step behind him. He immediately turned around to find Krys with a towel on her now. He was holding a crowbar. He had the eyes of a killer. Jase had only seen those eyes in his favorite show known as Naruto . A character known as Kakashi had an eye called the sharingan. Krys’s eyes were identical to those of the sharingan.

“Ok, Kyrs calm down…it was an accident. Now slowly put the crow bar down,” Jase said trying to calm her down. By the look in her eyes, it was not working.

“Die you pervert!” she yelled running at Jase.

She tried smacking him with the crowbar but Jase evaded by jumping out of the way. She tried again but Jase once again evaded. This continued for at least a good 20 minutes. Jase then took out a pokeball and released his fiery pokemon.

“Coal burn that bar!” he commanded.

The lizard pokemon blasted the bar melting it. But unfortunately some of fire attack accidentally burned off the place where the towel was tied together, making it fall leaving Jase seeing Krys in the nude once again. Jase was 100% sure this was his last day as a pokemon trainer.

A stranger was walking peacefully by their room until he heard an extremely loud yell of a guy. The stranger knocked on the door and asked if everything was okay. Krys yelled that they were okay and explained that her friend cut himself shaving.
-------------------
Jase was in bed, with at least 50 broken bones. His charmeleon slept on the ground beside his bed. Krys was in bed but could not fall asleep. After what just happened, she was too embarrassed to look at Jase anymore. But after everything that Jase has done for her, she decided not to kill him. Even though, it seemed it wasn’t enough. She had to give him something else. She thought about it until she fell asleep.

Krys awoke early in the morning to a loud beeping sound. She got out of bed to discover that it was Jase’s navi. Although she wanted to respect his privacy, she wanted to get back to sleep, so went through his bag, opened it up and read his mail, to get that beeping to stop. Another hologram popped up. This time it was a middle aged woman who looked like she was in her thirties.

“Hi honey. I know you might still be asleep because of the four hour difference between our regions. But I’d just thought I’d call and say Happy Birthday before I go to work. I know you don’t like me wishing you a good day today but, you are so far away and I miss you. Anyways, keep up the good work! Bye-bye!” the message ended. Krys finally found a way to repay Jase with something. She’d give him something for his birthday.

3 hours later…

Jase awoke to find Krys standing up in front of him. His face faltered as the quickly crawled over to the corner of his bed.

“I’m sorry! Please, don’t kill me!” Jase pleaded.

Krys just giggled as she handed him a big bag with a white box in it. “Happy Birthday!” she yelled.

Suddenly, Jase’s face which was full of fear, suddenly turned into a face of sadness. Jase just got out of bed and walked right past her. Krys was shocked. He didn’t even thank her. She had never seen Jase with that look before. He just went into the bathroom. Krys wondered what she had done wrong.

Jase emerged from the bathroom changed, but his face remained the same. He walked up to his bed which was beside a window. He looked out while scratching the head of his fiery companion. Coal looked up at Jase, knowing what caused his trainer’s unhappiness. Krys then walked up to Jase in an angry way.

“Jase, what’s with your attitude?! I go out and buy you a present, and all you do is ignore me?!” Krys scolded.

Coal got angry at this comment the started to growl in anger. Krys just looked at Coal with an angry expression.

“Coal, growling is rude!” Krys yelled.

The pokemon just continued to growl until Jase put his hand on its head.

“It’s alright Coal. She doesn’t know,” Jase explained.

Krys looked confused as Jase just continued to stare out the window into the blue ocean. Krys could tell Jase wanted to cry. She walked up to him and sat beside Jase on the bed.

“Jase, I know this might be hard but…do you mind telling me what’s wrong?” Krys asked.

“Yeah…it started exactly seven years ago when I just turned five…

Flashback

“Honey wake up. Honey time to get up,” a voice informed.

In a race car shaped bed slept a little boy with black hair wearing little pajamas with little pokeballs on them. The little boy awoke to find two people above him. One was a young woman with brown hair, wearing a purple dress and emerald earrings. Her lush brown eyes sparkled in the sunlight that fluttered through the curtains. The other individual was a tall man that looked the same age as the woman. He had raven black hair with breath taking ruby eyes. He wore suit black suit and pants, both having red markings on them for design. He also wore a necklace which had a pokeball attached to the end. The little boy woke up with a big smile on his face.

“Mommy I’m five years old now!” the little boy yelled.

“Yes you are honey. Give mommy a big hug!” she yelled giving her son a huge, and suffocating hug.

The little boy then turned to the man. The little boy smiled and jumped even more at the sight of the man’s smile.

“You’re not too old to give your dad a hug right?” the man asked. The little boy didn’t even hesitate jumping into the arms of the man.

“Now Jase. You’re a big boy now, so you got a lot of responsibilities. Now you’re old enough to take care of your mom while I’m not here,” he laughed. “Now get dressed, we’re going out!”
--------------------
The whole family started walking back home after going to the “Pokemon Birthday Palace”. Jase’s father was carrying his son on his shoulders.

“Ray, be careful Jase does not fall,” his wife warned.

“Don’t worry Diana. I won’t let him fall,” Ray assured.

“Still as carefree as usual I see,” a voice from ahead stated.

Ray looked to find, none other than the famous Gary Oak. Gary wore a green jacket over his usual purple shirt with his little yin-yang necklace.

“Oh, you’ve returned from the Hoenn region I see Gary,” Ray greeted.

“Yeah, just thought I’d stop by and say hi. I also heard that there is a new big boy on the block,” he said pointing to Jase.

“Yeah I’m five years old now!” Jase yelled out.

“Well, aren’t you the big boy. Well your father isn’t getting any younger so his battle tactics might be bad,” Gary sneered.

“No way! My dad can beat anyone!” Jase yelled.

“Yeah, so Gary is that a challenge?” Ray asked.

“You bet it is!”

“So, Jase what pokemon you want me to pick?” Ray asked his son.

“Use Typhlo!” Jase answered.

The father nodded pulling out a pokeball and releasing a powerful looking Typhlosion. Gary just grinned and released his pokemon. The blinding white light revealed a Ninetales. Diana was the referee. He signaled that both trainers may start.

“Ninetales, use a flamethrower!” Gary ordered.

“Use quick attack to dodge, then use flame wheel!” Ray countered.

The fox like pokemon blasted a strong stream of fire towards the explosion pokemon, only to barely miss. The typhlosion then started to run towards its opponent covered in fire, then slammed into the fox.

“Hyper Beam!” Gary commanded. The fox pokemon started to charge a golden energy in its mouth.

“Knock it off balance with earthquake! Then follow up with a thunder punch!” Ray instructed.

The explosion pokemon jumped high into the air, then slammed into the ground causing a tremor which made the fox pokemon fall firing its hyper beam in a different direction. It slowly got back up only get an electrical fist in the face.

“Typhlosion finish it off with a flamethrower!” Ray ended.

Ray’s pokemon opened its mouth and shot a stream of powerful fire, impacting with its target knocking it out. Gary returned his pokemon back to its pokeball. Even though he lost he still had a smile on his face.

“Okay…my hypothesis of you losing your battle skills was totally wrong,” Gary declared.

“I told you! No one can beat my dad!” Jase yelled out triumphantly.

“Guess you’re right. I’m going back to johto to meet a friend. It was nice coming back to Pallet and seeing all of you again,” Gary said while waving his goodbye walking away.

They all said good bye to each other and decided to head back. It was starting to get dark and there was a cake waiting for Jase at home.
--------------------
After cutting the cake and celebrating, Ray and Diana were washing the dishes. Jase was playing on his new game call “Pokemon JC- tail of darkness. They were all about to go upstairs and get some rest until-

“Daddy…” Jase muttered with a scared look on his face.

He turned around to see 5 men wearing black uniforms with a big R on it. Ray quickly threw up a pokeball to reveal his typhlosion again. “Use smokescreen!” Ray commanded. The smoke covered the entire room. “Diana take Jase upstairs into the attic and stay there,” he ordered. She looked hesitant to leave her husband at first, but she knew Jase’s safety was the first priority. She ran upstairs leaving her husband.

“Go weezing! Go Arbok! Go persians!” they all yelled.

They all attacked blasting a hole threw the wall. Ray and his typlosion ran threw the hole outside. When he entered, his eyes widened. In front of him, there must’ve been at least forty more rockets.

“You can’t beat us! We’re all admins, so we’re not weak like grunts!” one yelled.

“Then bring it on!” Ray yelled throwing 5 more pokeballs in the air. “I’m not a regular trainer either! I’m the league champion for five straight years!”

“That’s why we’re here. To eliminate the strongest trainer in kanto!” another yelled.

Jase and his mother were watching from the attic window. His father was using his elite team, which consists of a Typlosion, a Steelix, a Lapras, a Blastiose, a Jolteon and a Pidgeot. He watch as his powerful pokemon were tearing threw Team Rocket like a knife going through butter. But all fifty of the admins must’ve had six pokemon each. It was getting rough for his father.

“Rhydon take down!” an admin ordered.

“Lapras, ice beam!” Ray ordered.

“Mommy, is daddy going to be alright?” Jase asked getting worried.

“Of course you dad’s going to be alright. You said yourself that know one can beat him,” his mother assured.

The battle went on for about two hours straight. Jase continued to watch his father battle until there was only one admin left. His father was left with only his Typhlosion. Jase’s eyes were filled with tears that his father’s other pokemon all died. They fought so hard, and the admins didn’t stop attacking until they stopped breathing. It was Ray and typhlosion against the remaining admin and his Scyther and Scizor. Jase then remembered something that could help his dad win this battle. He left his mother’s arms and ran into his father’s room. He opened a shelf on his table and found a pokeball. Jase knew this ball contained a dragonair. His father was currently training it. Jase remembered playing with it a lot when it was just a dratini. Jase knew it was trained enough to defeat the remaining admin’s pokemon. Jase headed for the door.

Typlosion had just been knocked onto the ground. “Typlosion use flamethrower!” Ray commanded. But it was unable spurt fire from its back, so it couldn’t release the blast. “Dual hyper beam!” the admin ordered. The red pokemon opened both its claws and fired two hyper beam attacks. One hit typlosion knocking it out and other beam hit Ray making him tumble to the floor in pain. “Scyther make sure that typlosion has no arms left!” the admin ordered. The mantis pokemon started slashing typlosion’s beat up body. Ray could do nothing but watch. He then saw Jase run out the door with a pokeball in his hand. He knew what Jase was thinking but before Jase could reach him, a tall man in an orange suit appeared in front of him.

“You fools took much too long,” the man scolded the admin. He looked around to see a lot of his men on the ground defeated. “One man did all this? Weaklings,” he stated throwing a pokeball in the air to reveal a sandslash. The pokemon slashed Jase’s torso making him fall to the ground. Ray looked in shock as his son was in serious danger of dying. He stood up, but then the scyther stabbed him in his back.

Jase couldn’t believe this was happening to them. He couldn’t feel or move his fingers. He had a hard time breathing. He could feel his blood drip out of his wound. He knew he was going to die. He started to feel his eyes close, even though he tried not to close them, he couldn’t.

Jase woke up to the sound of crying. He slowly opened his eyes to find him on his mother’s lap. Her beautiful eyes were flooded with tears. Jase slowly got up. He had a long bandage over his wound. He saw his father on the ground in front of them. Jase’s pupil got tiny and his eyes widened at the sight of his father. He was in a human sized puddle of blood. His once luscious ruby eyes were now fading red. His hands felt cold. It started to rain heavily.

As much as Jase didn’t want to accept it he knew deep inside…his father was dead…

end of flashback

Jase stopped. Krys just looked at him with a sad expression on his face. He started to tear up.

“Jase it’s okay to cry,” Krys stated. With that Jase put his head on her lap and cried. Krys put her arms around him. She felt bad for him. She knew deep inside that Jase thinks its his fault that his father died.

“Jase, it’s not your fault,” Krys assured.

“It was!” he yelled. “I had the pokeball in my hand. If I just got there 1 minute sooner he would be at home right now eating his toast! Why doesn’t anyone blame me for his fate! I could’ve saved him but I didn’t. Jase’s eyes were flooded. “I didn’t cry that day. I didn’t want to cry. My dad told me stay strong no matter what,” he said. Even Coal was crying.

Krys shed one tear. She couldn’t believe this happened to Jase. He was the type of guy who seemed to always be happy. She just sat there with him. She was going to sit there for Jase. Jase just continued to cry and Krys continued to hold him.
--------------------

Well, therez the chapter. Enjoy! Also can u plz list my mistakes? Thx again!

Hip-Hop Master
17th November 2005, 9:13 PM
OK here it is:




“Good job c[C]oal!” Krys shouted from the sidelines.

“Wow, that’s a powerful pokemon. But, it’s no match for my next pokemon! Go m[M]akuhita!” Brawly summoned.

The little boy woke up with a bug[big] smile on his face.

The father nodded pulling out a pokeball and releasing a powerful looking Typ[ph]losion.

The smoke covered the entire room. “Diana take Jase upstairs into the basement[attic] and stay there,” he ordered.





EDIT: oh yeah and replace all teh Typlosion with Typhlosion

DKzM0mA
17th November 2005, 9:26 PM
OK here it is:

Thanks, I fixed all the mistakes you found.

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th November 2005, 1:18 AM
I'm too bored to list everything. Next time you could just use me as a proofreading utility...

Nice chapter, though Jase's dad owning 50 admins with 6 pokes is kinda overkill...XD But I think I'm not one to brag...my Team Rocket kills 60 pokemon in one shot with a single attack. And their league champ trainers too.

Sexy May lover
18th November 2005, 1:44 AM
Omg..I actually cried when Jase started crying and Krys tried comforting. Proly cause i was listening to eminem's mocking bird repeatedly while reading it. Yeah, it was over-kill with his dad, but he died and I felt bad for Jase to have his role model die infront of him. Was that man giovanni? I really liked how you made Jase think it was his fault that his dad died, but i think Giovanni or who ever that was could've won anyways. Overall a good 9.7/10.

girly
18th November 2005, 3:05 AM
Does Jase's Family know Ash and co. or just Gary? Great Chapter though can't wait for next one.

DKzM0mA
18th November 2005, 3:34 AM
They pretty much know all of the Pallet residence i suppose.

EDIT: Sorry guys, but due to some family problems, I won't be able to get the next chapter up anytime soon. Sorry again.

Sexy May lover
19th November 2005, 3:51 PM
They pretty much know all of the Pallet residence i suppose.

EDIT: Sorry guys, but due to some family problems, I won't be able to get the next chapter up anytime soon. Sorry again.

Your life outside serebii is more important. Take your time and make that chapter wenever you can, cause I love this fic and I'll be waiting.

Air Dragon
19th November 2005, 6:55 PM
But update soon, i wanna spah kick *** or get kicked

UUH... Oh/KAAAY... don't like the sound of THAT...

Sorry to burn ya, the chapter was only half posted. The battle DID happen...just posted it up, thanks for letting me know...I've got exams for the next three weeks, but i'll try my hardest to keep updating where possible... a few errors I saw in your latest:


Sounds like a lazy pokemon to me” Krys insulted under her breathe.

Sounds like a lazy pokemon to me” Krys insulted under her breath

Oh, and please make sure all the pokemons' names are always spelt with a capital letter in the start.

Otherwise... I LOVED IT! Gron just cracked me up and the tender moment was very touching... can wait for the next chapter, though... as Baraneyasha said, your life outside the threads is more important. hope all goes well with your family and midterms...Later!

Atari
19th November 2005, 7:41 PM
Bittersweet chapter, if you ask me. I agree that the flashbacks had more meaning than the gym battle, although you probably wanted do write it in before you write on Rick :D . Oh, and I was also worried that Kyrs would really actually kill him... <AKWARD MOMENT> But the miss spell ''Typhlosion'' incident is still bad. I was also confused at how the Rocket pokemon could be heartless enough to actually murder Ray's pokemon... and to murder him to too. Ouch.

[EDIT] Where'd Ren go? She joined them on the adventure, didn't she?

DKzM0mA
19th November 2005, 8:05 PM
Bittersweet chapter, if you ask me. I agree that the flashbacks had more meaning than the gym battle, although you probably wanted do write it in before you write on Rick :D . Oh, and I was also worried that Kyrs would really actually kill him... <AKWARD MOMENT> But the miss spell ''Typhlosion'' incident is still bad. I was also confused at how the Rocket pokemon could be heartless enough to actually murder Ray's pokemon... and to murder him to too. Ouch.

[EDIT] Where'd Ren go? She joined them on the adventure, didn't she?


Ren joined Rick and Jiroo on their adventure. I fixed all the typhlosion mistakes too. Sorry BT, guess it was like i was spelling ur name wrong :D

maxphi5
20th November 2005, 1:29 AM
great fic!when is the next chap?

Master of Legends
20th November 2005, 8:11 PM
muha ha ha ha ha ha , hi this is blaziken on his new accou8nt... btw nice i like it

DKzM0mA
20th November 2005, 11:10 PM
Welcome back blaziken^^.

Master of Legends
21st November 2005, 2:17 AM
thanks, it wouldnt let me log in so i had to make a new account *pouts* i had a good rpg team on tht

EDIT/MERGE:btw great fic... it can compete with brian powels pokemon impact... but might a suggest a lil less company? he has to say no to som1 who wants to join... heh heh other then tht its nearly perfect

DKzM0mA
21st November 2005, 2:55 AM
btw great fic... it can compete with brian powels pokemon impact... but might a suggest a lil less company? he has to say no to som1 who wants to join... heh heh other then tht its nearly perfect

Oh, I promise you someone wants to join Krys and Jase. What will the decision be? Who wants to join? You know him, but that wont happen for another maybe 5 chapters. I'm going to focus on Rick and his gang for a while, and I'll have the next chapter up by Thursday. Also I'll edit this post tommorow with a spoiler for the next chapter.

BTW: Please don't double post. Therez an edit button that you can use. I want this thread clean.

Master of Legends
21st November 2005, 1:06 PM
yay, lol... i wonder who??........

DKzM0mA
21st November 2005, 1:31 PM
Here's the spoiler i said I'd give you...

Rick, Jiroo and Ren both fell after the strange pokemon dashed around the group. The pokemon was running all around the group in a blurr making Jiroo very frustrated. After a couple of minutes, the pokemon disappeared and Jiroo got back up.

"Looks like its gone. Man, what was that thing..?" Jiroo asked turning to his companion. He then faced them but then found them in a strange position.

Rick couldn't believe this was happening to him. Ren was blushing so much that she was probably sweating. Jiroo on the other hand thought it was pretty cute.

Well, there you go! Hope you enjoy it, and..........AND 100th POST!!!1!!!1

Master of Legends
21st November 2005, 4:56 PM
lemmie guess ther laying on top of eachother? lol heh heh scyther mybe? magnetric? idk but cant wait for the chappie!

Sexy May lover
24th November 2005, 1:45 AM
O_O, omg...what's the pokemon? Scyther? Scizor? Linnone?


lemmie guess ther laying on top of eachother? lol heh heh scyther mybe? magnetric? idk but cant wait for the chappie!

LMFAO that would be funny.

Zangetsu
24th November 2005, 1:54 AM
Hey, wow I just read your fic and it's totally awesome! It is 100% original! I don't think I ever even heard of someone think of this. My favourite charectar would probably Krys. She is funny, a clutz and a weirdo xD. After that spoiler keep up the good work :).

DKzM0mA
24th November 2005, 9:30 PM
Sorry guys about the time off but I entered another forum fic contest(not pokemon related) and I need it to be 100% perfect. The dealine is tommorow and I only have half done -.- I'll have the next chappy up by Saturday morning by the latest, I SWEAR! If I don't I give you permission to stab me with a knife and mangle my body to nothing.

Zangetsu
24th November 2005, 9:39 PM
Sorry guys about the time off but I entered another forum fic contest(not pokemon related) and I need it to be 100% perfect. The dealine is tommorow and I only have half done -.- I'll have the next chappy up by Saturday morning by the latest, I SWEAR! If I don't I give you permission to stab me with a knife and mangle my body to nothing.

I'll try my absoolute best to wait, but I will not kill you-_- I WILL KILL MYSELF IF YOU DON'T AND YOU CAN LIVE WITH THE GUILT! HAHA[/terrible laugh]

Air Dragon
25th November 2005, 9:23 AM
No worries, I won't, ahem...

Originally Posted by DKzM0mA
stab me with a knife and mangle my body to nothing.

but i can't guarantee that the others who love this fic like i do won't! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Oh. By the way, Chapter Six is out. if you ain't too busy could you check it out for me? Thanks.
Later!

DKzM0mA
26th November 2005, 6:10 PM
Omg...this is getting ****ing ridculous! A snowstorm knocked out the power in my area when I was typing up the chapter-_- I'm at my cousin's house right now for the day, so I'll try to re-type everything up here and have tonight. TIME TO BRING OUT THE DR.PEPPER!

Zangetsu
26th November 2005, 10:57 PM
Omg...this is getting ****ing ridculous! A snowstorm knocked out the power in my area when I was typing up the chapter-_- I'm at my cousin's house right now for the day, so I'll try to re-type everything up here and have tonight. TIME TO BRING OUT THE DR.PEPPER!

A storm knocked out our internet too. Well, I live in toronto and its back up too. I think we wont kill u :p

Hip-Hop Master
27th November 2005, 4:30 AM
Sorry I couldnt post. Why? You guessed it! Router. Not. WORKING. Arghhhh! Anyway nice chappie you got there. Oh yeah, and take your time ese. (Ese's a new word i learned from MC3: DUB edition)

Ojkoj
28th November 2005, 12:32 AM
Your idea seams strange at first. but i really like it

Master of Legends
28th November 2005, 1:03 AM
... scyther and magnetric are the fastest ever!!! (or zapdos but that doesnt count) orrrrr its a whirlwind attack by rhyhorn or other pkmon that learn that

Zangetsu
28th November 2005, 3:02 AM
Does anyone know where I can rate this fic? I want to give it a 5 star rating :)

Sexy May lover
28th November 2005, 5:43 AM
Look above the first post on this page and you'll see a "Rate this thread".

DKzM0mA
28th November 2005, 11:43 PM
Ack, sorry for the slow update-_- well here’s chapter 14. There’s a lot of swearing so watch out.

Rating: PG 15(i think)
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Chapter 14: Attack of the Sneezes part 1

In the beautiful land of kanto everything was as it should be. The pidgeys are chirping the, the sky was filled with clouds and-

“Shut up you ****ing *****! You mind getting off my ****ing back!” Rick yelled. It was almost peaceful in the kanto region.

“Well, you ******* how about no! You’re the one who said my glasses were nerdy! Why don’t you compliment me, like a normal guy?!” Ren yelled back.

“Cause, I only compliment sexy girls! Not ugly *****es like you!” Rick yelled back.

“What did you say?! That’s it Bich…Birch whatever you are, you’re dead!” she yelled pulling out a baseball bat out of her bag. She started chasing Rick around trying to smack him with the bat. Jiroo just sat on a nearby rock eating his ramen noodles while watching the spaz.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Rick yelled dodging Ren’s attempts at breaking his head. Torch and Toto were watching as their trainers battled it out.

"<Wow if Ren was a pokemon, she's be invincible!>" Torch commented.

“<Well, she is my trainer after all,>" Toto said.

“< You know what’s funny?> Kabuto asked coming out of nowhere. Both the fire and water trainer looked at the little shellfish pokemon. < My trainer is the mature one of the bunch, and he’s eating noodles peacefully!> he said bursting out in laughter. The two other pokemon just stepped away from the weird shellfish and notice Nyte walk up to them.

“< Why is the captain fighting with his mate?> the timid little pokemon asked softly.

“< What captain? You mean Rick? They aren’t mates, they’re just fighting cause humans are unintelligent and immature,”> Torch answered.

“< Ren-san wouldn’t want to mate with that buffoon anyways,> Toto insulted. Torch and Nyte did not like this comment. Toto could tell and shut up.

Jiroo finally finished his noodles and got up. Rick fell on the ground, and just as Ren was about to smash him to death, Jiroo caught the bat, took it out of her hand and walked to his bag.

“Children, no need to fight. You’re only showing your pokemon what kind of trainers you are. Now shake hands and let’s make our way to Vermillion city,” Jiroo instructed.

“What?! No way! I won’t put my hand out and…” she trailed of as she noticed Rick put his hand out. He was looking the other way, trying not to look at her. After a little hesitation she finally took his hand and both shook.
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Our three adventurers just completed the nugget bridge event. Rick had just defeated all six of the challengers. After defeating him, the man in white walked up to him. Rick just looked happy, being triumphant and earning a special prize.

“Congratulations” the man smirked. “You are a very skilled trainer. You’d be perfect for the job I am about to offer you. Here you go. First you win the prize, called a nugget. Also would you like to join Team rocket..?

The second he finished his question, Rick kneed him in the stomach, followed by a strong punch in the face by Jiroo. Just when the man thought it was over, Ren came down from the sky with her bat, smashing his head. The three just left the beat up man there and continued to walk towards the legendary “Elder Bill”.

“So why is this guy a legend?” Rick asked the group.

“Wow, you hoenn guys are all clueless. How could you not know who’s Bill?” Ren insulted.

“I have a neighbor back in Littleroot named Bill,” Rick then continued.

Ren was about to take out her bat just when Jiroo stepped in.

“Bill is considered a legend because he has conducted research on all the pokemon in the three regions of Kanto, Johto and Hoenn. Now he’s considered more of a genius than even Professor Oak. He knows what every pokemon can learn through breeding, what every pokemon can learn through technical machines and leveling up. People call him the “Father of Pokemon,” Jiroo fully explained.

“Sounds like the father of nerds to me,” Rick said under his breath.

“Whoa, look at all those trainers crowded around that house,” Ren exclaimed.

The group walked into to the crowd and was curious to see what was taking place. Ren tried to get through people but, she was just shoved out of the crowd. Jiroo met the same fate. Rick however was able to slip through and squirm into the front. There was a man on the ground. He looked beat up. The poor beat up man has brown hair with grey streaks across the top of his head. He was wearing a blue collared shirt with a grey vest over it. Rick then saw a young biker like character with a stick in his hand.

“You ****ing nerdass geezer! Because of you my parents are sending me to some college! I don’t want to go there! My parents want me to become some ****ing wuss like you! I’m going to kill your ****ing ***!” the punk yelled. Even though he only looked like he was nineteen, he had the attitude of a fourteen year old. The punk started walking over to the poor man until Rick stood in his way.

“Yo little man, move out of the way, unless you want to die to!” the punk threatened.

“Pfft, is that the best threat you got? Why don’t you just go to the college and drop out,” Rick said mockingly. The punk was offended by the comment and threw up a pokeball to reveal a beedrill. Rick automatically took this as a battle and let out his fiery comrade known as Torch.

“Bedrill, use twin needle!” the punk ordered.

“Dodge then use an ember attack!” Rick swiftly countered.

The bug pokemon went in to stab its opponent but the fiery fowl pokemon jumped avoiding it then blasting it with its flame attack. The bumblebee like pokemon was sent back extremely damaged from the attack due to a type disadvantage.

“Poison sting!” the punk yelled out trying to turn the battle in his favor.

“Dodge that and use quick attack!” Rick countered once again.

The bug pointed its glowing needles at the fowl pokemon and blasted tiny other needles at the fowl pokemon but Torch side stepped and then quickly rammed into beedrill, leaving a white streak of light behind it. The bee fell to the ground fainted. The punk recalled his pokemon and ran away.

The crowd started to walk away allowing Ren and Jiroo to finally get in.

“What happened?” Ren asked. “Whoa it’s Bill!”

“This old dude is the Bill?” Rick asked.

Jiroo then smacked Rick’s head. “Show more respect!”

“Thank you so much for taking care of that punk. He was lucky I didn’t have my pokeballs with me,” Bill said.

“Mr. Bill, could you teach us more about pokemon?” Ren asked with stars in her eyes.

“I would like to but I have to visit my friend named Johnny. If you like, you may tag along,” Bill offered.

“Are you serious? Johnny, the famous evolution man?” Jiroo asked.

“Yep that’s him,” Bill assured.

“Who’s he?” Rick asked.

Ren just slapped her head. “Damn, you friggen Hoenners are all *******es. Johnny’s the famous Evolution man because he knows more about the eeveeutions than even Bill!” Ren explained yelling.

“Whatever! Where does this guy live?” Rick asked getting annoyed.

“He lives in Vermillion city,” Bill answered.

“We were headed that way anyways, so we’ll tag along with you,” Jiroo stated.

Bill shook his head and the group started to head towards Vermillion city.
--------------------
The group had been walking for at least three hours. They decided to take a break at a nearby pokemon center. They all got their pokemon rested up, and started talking.

“So, Rick,” Bill started. “Do you have a reason for becoming a pokemon champion?” he asked.

“Yeah, you didn’t even tell me the reason,” Ren stated crossing her arms.

“Well, obviously Bill smarter than you cause he asked me,” Rick said with a dumb expression on his face. “Anyways it started when me and my dad Professor Birch came to visit Professor Oak. We came to compare the starters of our correspondent regions. Then those two got mad arguing that one set was stronger than the others. To prove that one was better than the other my dad sent me here with a hoenn starter to conquer all the kanto gyms and Oak sent some weird kid to hoenn and journey there,” Rick explained.

“I see. So you are here to prove that your region is greater than our own? But getting the badges will not prove anything,” Bill said.

“That’s why me and that other guy are entering the ICC,” Rick said trying to get Bill to understand.

“So you two are trying to train and hope you two end up battling each other in the Intercontinental championships? Well, you got your work cut out for you. If you lose in a gym and are forbidden to have a rematch with the leader until the ICC is over. How much badges do you have?” Bill asked.

“I’ve beaten these two,” he said pointing to Jiroo and Ren. “Vermillion’s leader is next,”

“Wow, you are very confident. How about we have a little battle?” Bill challenged.

“I never say no to a challenge! Let’s go!” Rick accepted.

They went outside behind the center. Surprisingly there was a battle arena back there. Both Bill and Rick positioned themselves, each with a pokeball in hand. They released their pokemon with bright flashes of light.

Rick had chosen his poison typed companion nidorino, while Bill had chosen a large pink pokemon, with a massive tongue sticking out of its mouth.

“What the hell is that?” Rick asked himself while digging in bag for his dex.

“Lickitung, the licking pokemon. This pokemon has a tongue that is actually twice its own size. When it encounters something it has never seen before, this pokemon gives it a lick to memorize its taste,”the dex explained.

“That’s kind of creepy,” Rick shuddered. “Nido use horn attack!”

“Lickitung, wrap your tongue around its horn and slam it!” Bill countered.

The poison pin pokemon ran towards the strange pokemon before it and tried jabbing its horn into it but before it could even reach it. The licking pokemon’s tongue wrapped itself around the pokemon horn and then lifted it up.

“Horn attack, an attack that can do some damage, but the consequences are dire. It makes the user fall into my range of attack,” he explained. The pink pokemon then slammed the poison pokemon on the ground.

“Use poison sting!” Rick then ordered.

The poison pin pokemon’s horn began to glow and shot out multiple smaller needles at the pink pokemon.

“Defense Curl!” Bill commanded. The large tongue pokemon curled itself into the shape of a ball. The needles hit the target, but the pink pokemon seemed totally unfazed. “A pokemon like Licktung has a strong body, and has various attacks that make its defense even stronger, so a weak attack like poison sting would do almost no damage to it at all. There is much more to battling than you think there is Rick. In order to become to champion, you must know these ways.”

“What do you mean ‘ways’. What are they?” Rick asked hesitantly.

“I can’t teach you them. It is something only you can learn through experience. Lickitung, use hyper beam!” Bill ordered.

His pink pokemon’s mouth opened up and shot out a golden beam of energy striking nido, fainting it. Rick recalled his pokemon to its ball with a confused look on his face.

“You are a talented trainer, but you have a lot to learn about battling. Anyways let’s get your nidorino healed up and go,” Bill suggested.

“Alright,” Rick agreed running inside the center.
--------------------
A few hours later the group were setting up camp.

“If we wake up at 6am tomorrow, we can get there at by 9, just before the gates officially open up,” Jiroo stated.

“Why do we want to get there before the gates open up?” Ren asked.

“Cause there will be sexy women there to greet us, when they’re opening the gates up,” he answered drooling and blushing.

Ren slapped his face hard. Rick just laughed and Bill chuckled. Rick then set up a fire and Bill started telling the group about the time Ash, Brock and Misty had paid him a visit, when they were on their journey.

“So that giant pokemon was a Dragonite?” Rick asked.

“Honestly I am not 100% positive on that. It had the shape of a Dragonite, but its size is what baffles me. It was massive. It made a steelix look tiny. How a dragonite became that huge, is unknown,” Bill answered.

“How a pokemon that big hides itself from humans is what we should be asking,” Jiroo then stated.

“With a pokemon like that in the wrong hands, we’d be in trouble,” Ren added.

Rick then noticed Bill was looking at a nearby bush. Rick then saw the bush move slightly. There was no wind, or even a breeze. Rick and Bill both got up knowing something was there. Ren and Jiroo both looked at the confused.

“What’s wrong?” Ren asked. Rick then pointed at the bush. It moved a little bit.

Then a pokemon jumped out of the bush. It was dark navy in color, with a feather coming out of its left ear. Rick took out his dex to scan it.

“Sneasel, the sharp claw pokemon. This pokemon has sharp claws which it can use to puncture wood. This is how this pokemon climbs trees,” the dex explained.

“A sneasel? What’s it doing here?” Ren asked confused.

A pokemon the let out a shriek, and then dark blurs started circling the group. It wasn’t the sneasel, because it was standing still. Rick was baffled at what was causing all this.

“What the hell are these things?!” Ren yelled out. Suddenly the blurs moved in knocking the group around. Suddenly there was so much blurs, that the group couldn’t see each other. They were getting pushed around like mad. Finally after a while, the blurs disappeared with the sneasel.

Jiroo slowly got back up. “Looks like they’re gone,” he declared. “What the hell were those things?” he asked while turning his head towards his companions. He surprised to see what they were doing.

Rick couldn’t believe this was happening to him. Ren was blushing more red than a ho-oh’s sacred fire attack. Both were on the ground but Ren was on top of Rick. Their lips were locked, Rick’s hand was on her butt and Ren’s hand was on Rick’s crotch area. They both got off each other quickly.

“Aww, don’t stop. It was cute,” Jiroo teased. Ren quickly smashed his head with her bat.

“Where’s Bill?” Rick asked looking around for their friend.

“We have him!” a voice yelled out. Rick turned his head to see a familiar face. It was the guy trying to kill Bill before.

What do you want from him! And what do you mean by ‘we’?!” Rick demanded to know.

“I’m from the sneezes! One of the biggest gangs around this area! We’re going to kill the old dude. If you want him back, you got to beat me!” he said throwing a pokeball to reveal a very strange pokemon.

Rick had never seen this pokemon before. Even Ren and Jiroo were speechless at the sight of this pokemon. It had hug claws, and looked like a pokemon they’ve recently seen before. Rick pulled out his pokedex, but it “UNCLASSFIFIED”. Rick wondered, what kind of enemy they were facing.
------------
Well, there’s the chapter! Hope you enjoyed reading it, and again sorry for taking so long to post!

Zangetsu
29th November 2005, 12:00 AM
Nice chapter! I like how you gave Rick a lesson in battling. But what was that pokemon in the end? And what were those blurrs? You still didn't tell us. Now I crave the next chapter.

DKzM0mA
29th November 2005, 12:09 AM
I think it is time to torture your souls. I'm going to put the Rick and jase adventure to the side for a while, and focus on re-writing/typing the first two chapters, since they are bad and can't be called chapters.

Hip-Hop Master
29th November 2005, 12:24 AM
“ Torch commented.

“ Toto said.

That was the part i didnt understand.

otherwise it was good, The pokemon and blurs are buggin' me but



Rick couldn’t believe this was happening to him. Ren was blushing more red than a ho-oh’s sacred fire attack. Both were on the ground but Ren was on top of Rick. Their lips were locked, Rick’s hand was on her butt and Ren’s hand was on Rick’s crotch area. They both got off each other quickly.

How old were Ren and Rick? And how did this happen?

Ojkoj
29th November 2005, 12:31 AM
i just read chapter 3. you are doing a good job on giving the characters personalities. i really need to work on that. I like how u make rick really cocky. i dont like cocky people. but it puts personality into the charactar.

DKzM0mA
29th November 2005, 12:46 AM
How old were Ren and Rick? And how did this happen?

Jase, Rick, Krys and Ren are about 14 years old.
Jiroo is about 19
I decided to give Ash and May the same age which is 32.
May:29-30

Those take up the main characters. I'll have an offcial age group later on.
----
How did this happen?

Well, the bluurry pokemon were speedy around the group and they got knocked around. One hit Ren making her fall on Rick and VOILA! I just thought it would be funny if they were in that postion xD!

Sexy May lover
29th November 2005, 12:51 AM
I think it is time to torture your souls. I'm going to put the Rick and jase adventure to the side for a while, and focus on re-writing/typing the first two chapters, since they are bad and can't be called chapters.

You are an evil author!!XD

But seiously, that was a good chapter. I like how you added Bill into the story, and made him a somewhat tutor for Rick. But Bill was kidnapped?O.o!!!!

ALSO WHAT WERE THOSE BLURRS? I WANTED TO WHAT THEY WERE FROM THE SPOILER, BUT NOW YOU ARE JUST BEING MEAN XD!!!!

ANYWAYZ I HOPE THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS ARE REDONE WELL.

Zangetsu
29th November 2005, 2:13 AM
He is torturing us xD!! Anyways, I hope you get the chapters up soon.

DKzM0mA
29th November 2005, 12:07 PM
I am not evil, and I'm torturing(maybe a little xD!!)>.>

I just thought that I should get that out of the way-_-.

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th November 2005, 3:10 PM
Right. I was supposed to edit it, and when it first arrived to me the Torch and Toto speech bubbles were still there.

THe gist of it for Torch's:

"<Wow. If Ren were a Pokemon, she'd be invincible!>"

THe gist of it for Toto's(if I'm not wrong):

"<Well, she is my trainer after all.>"

ANd the Pokemon is probably another SNeasel if I'm not wrong.

lol weird stance. That has to be the single most embarrassing moment ever. Man.

Not a bad chapter, and MWAHAHA! All you people keep waiting! Hahaha! lol.[/crap]

Air Dragon
29th November 2005, 8:29 PM
No biggie, Nice chappie!
awww... aren't Rick and Ren acting all gwown up! Hah! Good grief Ren can be scary with that bat, i sense a trace of brock in Jiroo (not a total shock.), those two had better shape up before Ash decides to kill Rick for uncalled for hanky-panky with his daughter (if misty doesn't find out and kill him first.) and Toto-san should watch it before the other gang up on him.
is the UNCLASSIFIED pokemon M******? just checking. also, i guess that since you tried so hard to put up this chapter, chapter seven of the Corei Quest is coming out today! I may start work on a couple of shorter fics alongside it. may slow down the Quest a little, but i'm aiming for a rough fifty-sixty chapters so there you go. Could y'all pls rate and review my fic? then i'd know that the ratings are fair.
Later!

DKzM0mA
29th November 2005, 9:09 PM
Right. I was supposed to edit it, and when it first arrived to me the Torch and Toto speech bubbles were still there.

THe gist of it for Torch's:

"<Wow. If Ren were a Pokemon, she'd be invincible!>"

THe gist of it for Toto's(if I'm not wrong):

"<Well, she is my trainer after all.>"

ANd the Pokemon is probably another SNeasel if I'm not wrong.

lol weird stance. That has to be the single most embarrassing moment ever. Man.

Not a bad chapter, and MWAHAHA! All you people keep waiting! Hahaha! lol.[/crap]

Thanks Felix, I fixed that problem. Anyway, no thhat mysterious pokemon was not another sneasel. :) Keep guessing.

Sexy May lover
29th November 2005, 11:47 PM
Hey DKz, I changed my name from Baraneyasha, so don't get confused :) Just thought I'd tell you that.

DKzM0mA
30th November 2005, 12:11 AM
I apreeciate you teeling me this, but I think it would have been better if you pmed me about it instead, because that is spam.

Ojkoj
1st December 2005, 12:45 AM
after chap. 4 or something u se that jase does not like women(probably gay) and krys is a ****. but it is still good.

DKzM0mA
1st December 2005, 12:49 AM
He isn't gay lol. He is just the innocent type.

Hoenn Warrior
3rd December 2005, 2:10 AM
I just finished reading all of your chapters and Im very impressed with it. Suspense, Action, Humour, and hints on who might be a couple soon this Story has it all man!! Cant wait until you post the next chapter to see the battle between Rick and the biker punk. And the mystery pokemon is Man****. AND I would like to know if your accepting any new characters

Terria
3rd December 2005, 12:33 PM
Okay.....can i spoil it??????

NOW???????

Air Dragon
3rd December 2005, 2:12 PM
Jase...GAY???!!!
LOLOLOL! (Lots of lots of lots of Laughs!)

Not being toally into girls doesn't mean your gay! Sheesh, DKzM0mA may hvae just wanted to make him the cool collected customer when it comes to that topic! Anywho, just wanted to tell ya, DKzM0mA, that if it's okay with you all, in addition to wtiting my own fic, i'd like to be your permanent reviewer! (or one of them if you already have one!)
I'm out for now! Later!

DKzM0mA
3rd December 2005, 3:07 PM
If you know what's the mysteerious pokemon, try to hold it in plzzz! I beg of you! For those who don't know, it's probably killing them xD!

And shiny Mightyena, sure it's okay.

Hip-Hop Master
3rd December 2005, 4:13 PM
Hey, I wanna be a permanent reviwer too. Okay, which idiot (no offense) started the Jase gay thing?

Atari
3rd December 2005, 4:30 PM
I just got done reading the latest chapter and it's ------. Yeah, I use that discriptor too much don't I... Anyway, I'm glad Bill's in the story. Although he seems to be wanted to be killed by lots of people. It's not his fault he's so smart... or is it? Heh, dumb question. But it was really easy to see that the pokemon surrounding them before was M******. I really doubt that Jase is gay though. He doesn't seen to show many signs of it. ENDS DISSCUSSION. Bad disscussion.

Jase, Rick, Krys and Ren are about 14 years old.
Jiroo is about 19
I decided to give Ash and May the same age which is 32.
May:29-30

Those take up the main characters. I'll have an offcial age group later on.
For some reason in my head I had stuck that Ren was 7 or something. That would be pretty bad though if she knew enough cursing to get the rating PG15. Blah. -- And I hope you have an alright time editing/rewriting your two first chapters.

Hip-Hop Master
3rd December 2005, 4:35 PM
BT, You my man!


For some reason in my head I had stuck that Ren was 7 or something.
You just read my mind. And Dkz, I thought trainers started at 10 not 14. Meh not meant to be a flame.

DKzM0mA
3rd December 2005, 7:11 PM
BT, You my man!


You just read my mind. And Dkz, I thought trainers started at 10 not 14. Meh not meant to be a flame.

Do you think they could swear as much as they did if they were only 10? I just wanted to give them appropriate ages for their language. Damn why is everyone figuring out the secret pokemon -_-... someone gimme the line that gives it away, and imma take it out. You're all supposed to be tortured...

Hip-Hop Master
4th December 2005, 3:07 AM
Do you think they could swear as much as they did if they were only 10? I just wanted to give them appropriate ages for their language. Damn why is everyone figuring it out -_-... someone gimme the line that gives it away, and imma take it out. You're all supposed to be tortured...

Meh , I did. Lol HELL YEAH WERE SUPOSSED TO BE TORTURED. not.

DKzM0mA
4th December 2005, 4:02 AM
I meant u all figured out the un-classified pokemon-_- *edits post*

Anyways, the re-write of Chapter 1 should be up. I added a little twist to it, and in doing so I think this thread will become a discussion thread, but it is funny in my opinion. So when the chappy is up, let random guesses bout the future begin!

girly
4th December 2005, 1:10 PM
The story is good so far. Oh and people who do know the mystery pokemon hold it in. People want to figure it out. I think i know what it is.

Hip-Hop Master
4th December 2005, 6:40 PM
The story is good so far. Oh and people who do know the mystery pokemon hold it in. People want to figure it out. I think i know what it is.

Girly, every single person who read this story knows that the mystery poke is Manyula. If you read other people's posts, SOMEONE *points to Shiny Mightyena* gave it away.

josh09
4th December 2005, 9:47 PM
Girly, every single person who read this story knows that the mystery poke is Manyula. If you read other people's posts, SOMEONE *points to Shiny Mightyena* gave it away.

Dude some people actually did not know.

nice fic dude. it kinda like the future after ash's journey.

Josh

DKzM0mA
4th December 2005, 11:45 PM
Guys just to let know, I edited the first post with the remake so check it out^^

Hip-Hop Master
4th December 2005, 11:54 PM
“JASE!” someone called.

Jase looked back to see Trish running. The sun was setting and it was almost time to go.

Trish had finally made it panting from the run. “Jase are you really going?” she asked tearing up. “You promised me that we would travel together…”

“I know, but I have to do this…” Jase said.

“Every since we were kids, you said we would always travel together when we were older. I waited for that day, but now you’re leaving me?” she asked crying.

Jase was silent, and sad, but he had a different reason to go to Hoenn. She then hugged Jase. He was caught off guard by this. He could feel her tears seep into his shirt. He then pushed her off.

“I’m sorry…” Jase said.



Uh oh! Jasee's stuck with two girls. How the hell is he gonna survive with two girls after him.


There’s the re-write! Anyways, those who have read the future chapters, start the crazy guessing!

What the flip do you mean?

DKzM0mA
5th December 2005, 12:03 AM
I mean come up with insane ideas, like the triangular relationship with Jase, Krys and Trish.

Ojkoj
5th December 2005, 1:25 AM
i love your story, im at chapter nine, uve sieriously inspired me to write the stroy of steve, eak!! u are so good, i love your banner, it gave excelent advertisement, i should think up a better title for mine. i hope u read the story of steve, keep up the good work.

gamefreak9210
5th December 2005, 2:10 AM
i agree with hip-hop master because anyone who first came to this site is like....OMFG its new pearl and diamond pokemon....i wonder what they are *click* oh look at that manyula. OMG. end of stupidly spoken analogy.

Sexy May lover
5th December 2005, 2:36 AM
OMG! O_O!!!! Jase is a god damn player! xD!!

Trish was like his gf or sumtihng? Or just a girl who liked him? Wow, i wonder how she will react towards Kyrs.

Mrs. Ishida
6th December 2005, 1:05 PM
Just read the first 3 chapters, and wow... The first chapter was good, but what happened to you on the second chapter? No, offence, but it was nowhere good as your 1st chapter.

Hip-Hop Master
6th December 2005, 10:15 PM
Just read the first 3 chapters, and wow... The first chapter was good, but what happened to you on the second chapter? No, offence, but it was nowhere good as your 1st chapter.

Ok that is what I call not reading other ppls posts. Read Dkz's. OK?

DKzM0mA
7th December 2005, 3:23 AM
Just read the first 3 chapters, and wow... The first chapter was good, but what happened to you on the second chapter? No, offence, but it was nowhere good as your 1st chapter.

I clearly stated, that that was a remake of the original, but the first one was just as crap as the second chapter. The second chapter remake will be a tad short too, but I might add some extra stuff in there aswell.

Mrs. Ishida
7th December 2005, 12:59 PM
Oh, sorry didn't see that, I was just reading the fic, not the other posts.

DKzM0mA
8th December 2005, 9:36 PM
Ahh, it's okay, no harmed caused. Anywayz, expect the chapter up by sunday. My computer broke down, so I'm at a cafe right now, and it won't be back till tommorow, so I'll have the next remake done by sunday. Sorry for this -.-

Zangetsu
10th December 2005, 2:38 PM
No problem. Honestly your chapters are worth the wait. So take your time, I won't mind if it aint up till tuesdays. As long as it is good.

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th December 2005, 5:20 PM
Yup. And I will 100% make it gramatically correct. Go figure.

Ojkoj
10th December 2005, 7:26 PM
srry for starting the whole jase gay thing, after reading more u undrstand him more, it just seemed akward at first, sorry for starting that, i really like the fic

Atari
10th December 2005, 7:37 PM
srry for starting the whole jase gay thing, after reading more u undrstand him more, it just seemed akward at first, sorry for starting that, i really like the fic
:p Hey! I thought I already ended that disscussion, so don't worry. And no one else start the disscussion again!

No problem. Honestly your chapters are worth the wait. So take your time, I won't mind if it aint up till tuesdays. As long as it is good.
Yes, nobody give him any pressure. That way he'll write the chapter faster! :D

Ojkoj
11th December 2005, 11:30 PM
omgzz i love this fic i can barely wait till the next chapter.

DKzM0mA
12th December 2005, 10:34 PM
-.- Seriously sorry that I couldn't get it up. Damn computer guy forgot all about my computer, so I just got it back right now... But I will get get it up as fast as I can! I swear to god....LEZ DO THIS!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[/JOE(FAMILY GUY)]

Zangetsu
13th December 2005, 12:58 AM
LOL, I hate when that happens. When they forget that you dropped you computer off. Doesn't matter, take your time.

Ojkoj
13th December 2005, 3:28 AM
Yes take your time :D. keep it up

Ojkoj
16th December 2005, 10:49 PM
OMGZZZ!!!! if u get it up by sunday it will be on my birthday. yeah!!!!!!!!! happy birthday to me!!!!:);239;

Felix Feral Fezirix
17th December 2005, 11:55 AM
Huzzah! Next chappie should be up next time DKzM0mA comes online. I just spellchecked it. xP. One more day! Put up with it!

DKzM0mA
17th December 2005, 3:42 PM
*Drum Rolls* The second remake is up so go check it out^^~!

Air Dragon
17th December 2005, 6:27 PM
I like the remake loads! Moments like this one:

“That’s your house?!” Jase asked.

“Yep, it’s nice eh? Just renovated it,” Birch bragged.

“Cocky *******…” Jase muttered.

“Hey I smell dinner! Let’s hurry up!” Birch yelled starting to run down the hill.

“Hey, wait up!” Jase yelled, trying to catch up.

“You want to be a champion, but you can’t even keep up with a forty-seven-year-old man?” Birch mocked, still running.

“We’ll see old man!” Jase yelled, passing Birch.

Hey just finished checking it out... loved the rennovations! This dialogue for instance:

“Oh yeah?!” Birch yelled, passing Jase.

“LET’S GO!” Jase yelled, but ran into a wall right then.

“Yep, you won…” Birch said, giggling.

and this one:


“Trish? I believe she has set out for another region. She looked very mad when she left. She looked like she wanted to kill someone. Whoever it is, they’re probably going to die. You know Trish when she gets mad,” Oak pointed out.

Jase fell anime style, and got back up with a look of fear in his face.

“****! He’s right, she’d butcher someone if she was ****** off. She’s probably freaking coming to Hoenn to hunt me down. I can just imagine it now…"

Inside Jase's brain...

Jase walks down a path with his Charmander beside him.

“Oh Jase…”

Jase turns around to see Trish with a battleaxe in her hand. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her dissect Charmander with a demented smile on her face, blood flying everywhere.

She then hacks Jase’s arm off, and then puts it in a blender and let 'er rip...

Jase’s imagination scared even him. “God damnit, I’m going to die before I even get my first badge!” Jase thought.

And finally this one:


“And that’s the story,” Jase finished explaining.

“I’m terribly sorry that happened to him…” Birch said in a low tone.

Charmander looked in awe at his new partner. He was amazed that Jase went through that, and how powerful ]his pokemon were. Charmander then tried to say something to Jase, but Jase couldn’t understand.

“It looks like it's just as impressed with your story Jase,” Birch said. “It just made a promise saying that it’ll become to most powerful pokemon with you as the most powerful trainer someday,” Birch explained.

“Is this true little buddy?” Jase asked.

Charmander nodded and put its claw out. Jase grabbed its hand and both shook.
--------------------
It was the next morning, and Birch went outside to get some air, but then saw Jase coming back with his Charmander in his arms.

“Jase, what happened?” Birch asked.

“We were doing some tough training,” Jase said returning inside the house.

“Little amateur…He thinks he can become champion, when he has trouble with wild pokemon?” Birch asked walking out into route 101. When he reached there, he saw fainted pokemon everywhere.

There was probably at least thirty pokemon downed there. Birch only had this to say:

“Holy ****…”

really made me smile. It was good before and it's getting better! Keep going, you got a fan in me! Later!

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th December 2005, 12:48 AM
The Trish part was re-remade. I decided to change it 'cuz it wasn't good enough. I put in the dissection part. Mwahahahaha. And sure as hell it's a much better chapter after all the meddling I've done with it. Heh.

Sexy May lover
20th December 2005, 12:15 AM
OMG, so sorry that I didn't review it sooner! School was bugging me and all, but vacation is rolling around.

Anyways the remake was good, and i loved the trish killing Jase thing. Nice one Felix! It was also nice how you did that Trish promising to beat him thing, I think it was Triash =.= Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter!

Zangetsu
21st December 2005, 1:54 AM
Inside Jase's brain...

Jase walks down a path with his Charmander beside him.

“Oh Jase…”

Jase turns around to see Trish with a battleaxe in her hand. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her dissect Charmander with a demented smile on her face, blood flying everywhere.

She then hacks Jase’s arm off, and then puts it in a blender and let 'er rip...

Jase’s imagination scared even him. “God damnit, I’m going to die before I even get my first badge!” Jase thought

LOL , nice one Felix! The blender part really made me laugh like a dog.[/bad simile] Anywayz nice chapter! It was defenitly(sp?) better than the original. I likedwas the ending...


****...

Hope you get the next chapter up soon! And merry chirstmas!

DKzM0mA
22nd December 2005, 12:39 PM
Sorry it's taking so long for the chapter to get up, but I've hit some hard writer's block. Can't think of anything good for the Sneezes to do. If anyone would like to give me ideas which could probably stretched over the next two chapters that would be helpful.

Ojkoj
23rd December 2005, 1:31 AM
pehaps the sneasels could curse someone, i know it might not work out but im just trying to help.

Air Dragon
23rd December 2005, 11:23 AM
hmm...hiatus seems to be going around these days...must be the cranberry sauce...
here's an idea: say they battle the sneezes and in the process one or two of the trainers get hurt protecting the others (Rick doing it for Ren would be nice, or jiroo and Ren doing it for Rick would also be interesting) then the one/ones left standing would have to tend for the others and figure out a way to help bill and defeat the sneezes.
Just an idea though. Later!
P.S.: Stay away from strained peas... they may be the cause!

Mrs. Ishida
25th December 2005, 1:07 AM
“****! He’s right, she’d butcher someone if she was ****** off. She’s probably freaking coming to Hoenn to hunt me down. I can just imagine it now…"

Inside Jase's brain...

Jase walks down a path with his Charmander beside him.

“Oh Jase…”

Jase turns around to see Trish with a battleaxe in her hand. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her dissect Charmander with a demented smile on her face, blood flying everywhere.

She then hacks Jase’s arm off, and then puts it in a blender and let 'er rip...

Jase’s imagination scared even him. “God damnit, I’m going to die before I even get my first badge!” Jase thought

Aww man, this really cracked me up. I kept re-reading that line because it was so funny. Felix, you get props for making that up. Man really funny. And the chapter was good too. I really liked how you gave Trish that kind of attitude(not disecting, murderous part).

Also MERRY CHIRTMAS, AND FELIZ NAVIDAD

girly
31st December 2005, 10:18 PM
I hate writers block but they help make you think of somthing really good. I hope the next chapters up soon.
i'll check everyday while here in arkansas. I can't wait to get to read the chapter.

DKzM0mA
5th January 2006, 10:00 PM
Ugh...sorry bout the serious time off....but I've been soul searching for while now, and now I'm set to go! Expect the chapter up by Sunday night/Monday morning.

Just hope Felix is still around...

EDIT: Just noticed Felix, you changed your name xD. I just saw you post in the other thread so I'm set to go!

Zangetsu
6th January 2006, 4:19 AM
Phew. I kinda thought you died or sumthin O-o cause u havent posted in lyk soo long. Well, you're still good, so can't wait for the next chapter!

DKzM0mA
6th January 2006, 3:48 PM
I assure you I'm still alive O.o. I know I promised the next chapter by Monday morning but I actually finished it all last night O.O. I kinda got sucked into doing that chapter..... Well, as soon as Pikachuism finishes checking it I'll post it up ASAP.

DKzM0mA
9th January 2006, 1:04 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 15: Fight for Ren! Future of Darkness reveals itself!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The punk who had attempted to kill Bill earlier had returned with a mysterious pokemon that even the PokeDex could not even identify. What's even worse is that he is keeping Bill hostage,

"What kind of pokemon is that?!" Ren barked out at the thug.

"And what were those blurs!" Jiroo yelled out.

Suddenly out of the nearby bushes, the pokemon jumped out and revealed them selves to be more Sneasels.

There were 5 of them including the one that appeared before.

"You want know what the blurs were, here they are." He said cockily.

Rick was pretty much the only one of the gang who remained calm. He kept glancing at the bushes around the thug for some reason.

"You also wanted to know what this pokemon was eh? It's-

"-Obviously the evolution of Sneasel." Rick said coolly, staring at the pokemon.

"Wait, how did you know?" the thug asked angrily.

"I'm not just hot, but smart too, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out." He said with a little smirk on his face.

"There he goes again…" Ren whispered to Jiroo.

"Oh great…" Jiroo said with an annoyed face on.

"SHUT UP, I HEAR CAN HEAR YOU GUYS!" Rick yelled.

The thug just looked at the kids with a shocked face on. They expected to take him down when they were practically fighting each other.

"Yo smartass, continue!" the thug yelled.

"Anyways, just by looking at it, you can see that it and Sneasel have almost no difference by their looks besides the big crown on the mystery pokemon's head." Rick said grinning. He shifted his eyes slightly at the bush behind the thug again.

"If you want to know the name to fill your vocabulary, here it is! Manyula, use shadow ball!" the thug ordered.

The strange pokemon created a dark orb of energy in its right claw and hurled it towards the group.

The ball almost hit the group, but they all jumped out of the way in time. The ball impacted with the ground causing an explosion that left a fairly big crater in the ground.

"Damn, that thing is obviously been trained well, and is pretty strong." Jiroo stated, grinding his teeth.

"Then let's hit it with everything we got!" Ren yelled throwing a pokeball into the air.

The red and white ball opening up to reveal a blinding white light that materialized into her trusted companion, Totodile.

"Toto, fill that crater up with your water gun!" Ren ordered.

Dancing, the pokemon shot out water that filled up the crater that was left by the Manyula's shadow ball.

Ren ran in front of the little pool and ordered her pokemon to attack once more.

Jiroo then let out his Geodude and his Kabuto into battle as well.

"Geodude, use Rock Throw and Kabuto follow up with a Water Gun!" Jiroo ordered.

The little rock pokemon found nearby stones the size of Rick's chest and hurled them towards the Manyula.

Just as the rock as about to impact, a light blue colored beam hit the boulder resulting in the rock turning into ice and then was smashed by the strong claw of Manyula.

Jiroo turned his head to see that the other Sneasel had surrounded them.

"This isn't good…" Jiroo murmured.

"We have to do something…" Ren mumbled back.

Ren turned her head to see Rick standing unfazed by the power of the Manyula. What was even freakier was that he was smiling.

"What the hell is so funny boy? There is no way to win!" the thug yelled.

"This is what's funny! NOW!!" he yelled.

Suddenly a burst of electricity was shot out of a nearby bush and hit a Sneasel.

The thug turned around shocked at this.

"What's wrong? You planted a sneak attack on us, so I just returned the favor!" Rick said smiling.

Suddenly a burst of needles was fired and hit another Sneasel. The Sneasel fell to the ground, flinching as he got back up. It had been hit directly and been poisoned in the process.

The thug was getting scared. He was clueless at what to do. He could not fight an enemy he could not see.

Just then a fiery barrage collided with another Sneasel making it moan in pain.

"A thundershock, a poison sting and an ember attack?" Jiroo thought to himself.

"Those are all of Rick's pokemons' attacks," Ren concluded in her thoughts. "When did you set your pokeballs out in the bushes?

"When the blurs attacked us. Before they attacked, I and Bill knew something was out in the bushes. So when they attacked, I was knocked down near the bushes and that's when I put them in the bushes," Rick said.

"Like that's going to help you! Manyula, use Ice Beam!" the thug yelled out.

"Pfft, I also know another thing about that pokemon! It happens to be half ice and half dark!" Rick said.

"So what?!" the thug asked as the pokemon launched the ice beam.

The group dodged the ice beam and waited for Rick to continue.

"It means that it has a huge disadvantage against fighting type pokemon and attacks!" Rick yelled.

The group looked shocked. Why was Rick explaining all of this to them? They knew this already. But then Jiroo finally caught on.

"Rick do it!" he yelled.

"Mega Punch!" Rick yelled out.

Elekid jumped out of a nearby bush and smashed its fist into the dark pokemon's face making it skid back a few feet.

Ren was caught off guard by this surprise attack.

"Double kick!" he yelled.

Then Nidorino burst out of the ground behind Manyula. It launched both feet slamming into the dark pokemon's back making it growl in pain.

"What the hell is going on?!" the thug cried out becoming intimidated by all of the sudden attacks.

"One last attack! Mega kick!" Rick yelled out.

His Combusken then came down from a tree on a vine and slammed its big foot into Manyula's stomach causing it to fall down holding its stomach in pain.

"Move in!" Rick yelled.

The Manyula slowly got back up but only to find the entire group's pokemon surrounding it. It couldn't beat all of their pokemon.

The thug could only watch in terror as his prize pokemon get cornered.

He looked around to see the other Sneasels were already finished off the other sneak attacks.

"Give up and hand over Bill, you lost!" Ren yelled.

"He's already gone to the base with some other Sneasel! But we won't give up! Go Manyu-

His sentence was cut off when he saw his Manyula already on the ground. The Combusken was slapping its hands together cleaning the dust off.


"Your so-called mighty pokemon has been brought down by Rick. Now give us Bill back before we tear your entire organization apart," Jiroo threatened.

The thug quickly recalled his pokemon and started running for his life.

The group recalled their pokemon as well and starting giving chase.

The man kept running, jumping over big roots and sidling under big logs.

Both Ren and Rick were pretty athletic, so it wasn't difficult for them to chase him without difficulty, but Jiroo was lagging behind. Sort of.

"For a wimpy guy, he runs pretty fast!" Rick said as he continued to run.

"They say cowards are the fastest type of people out there," Ren said, smiling, catching up to Rick's pace.

They soon noticed the man jumping into a sewer drain with bars moving down so no one would be able to enter after him.

Ren and Rick went into turbo drive and ran as fast as they could and finally just as the bars were about to too low for them, they dived and barely made it. Sadly Jiroo was locked inside and couldn't do anything.

"Oh well, time to bring out the big guns!" Jiroo said, running back.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Inside the sewer were various doors all leading to a new hallway.

"This isn't a sewer at all. It's an underground base," Rick said, putting his hand over his mouth thinking of something.

"But it still smells like a sewer!" Ren yelled.

They then saw the thug they were looking for peeking around a corner.

He started to run again and the duo gave chase.

They started chasing him around corner to another corner to yet another corner to yet another identical corner.

"Sh*it, this place is a freaking maze!" Ren yelled out, getting annoyed by the amount of corners.

Suddenly they came to a big room with sewer water in the middle with a big platform that looked like a battle arena.

The thug they were chasing disappeared. Suddenly two metal arms grabbed Rick and Ren and placed them on the platform.

"What the..." Ren shuddered.

"Are they asking for a battle?" Rick asked sternly.

Suddenly, on the other side of the arena, a hole in the ground opened up and a man sitting in what looked like a throne was lifted up on an elevator.

"Welcome children, I hear you managed to defeat my Manyula. Did you just get lucky or did you actually defeat it?" the man asked.

Rick glared at the man. He was wearing a ski mask with no top so his hair was visible. His whole face except for his left eye was visible. There was a band over his left eye with a little slit in it so he was able to see through, but you were not actually able to see the eye through from the outside.

"Yeah we beat the living sh*t out of it!" Ren yelled, raising a fist in the air.

"Well then, how about a little double battle? If you win I'll return Bill safely." He said.

"And if we lose?" Rick asked.

"Let's just say…this will be your last battle…" he said.

Rick noticed something. The man was wearing an orange suit, but the left arm was ripped up. That certain fabric looked very familiar but Rick couldn't put his finger on it.

The man threw out two pokeballs that shot out their blinding light.

The lights materialized into two large poison pin pokemon.

"Nidoking and Nidoqueen…" Rick trailed off.

"Release your strongest pokemon and fight with me," the man said.

"Go Toto!" Ren yelled out throwing the corresponding pokeball.

"Let's go Torch!" Rick yelled out throwing his red and white ball as well.

The two companion pokemon readied themselves for battle.

"The girl is going to use water gun on Nidoqueen…" the man thought to himself.

"Nidoqueen take that hit." He said calmly.

"Toto use Water… Gun On Nidoqueen?," She said, shaking.

<That thing is female?! Ugh, talk about fat chicks...>Toto said before launching the attack.

The jet of water hit the target but Nidoqueen didn't move at all. It was if it was a statue.

The man grinned and Rick looked, shocked that the attack did absolutely nothing. Despite Toto not evolving yet, its attack was pretty strong, and the Nidoqueen could've felt some pain.

"What the hell?!" Ren cried out.

Rick got his game face on and started strategizing.

"Ren…" Rick called out.

"What?" Ren responded.

"If that water gun did nothing, those two have strong defenses. Most likely they have high attack powers, so don't fall into their range." Rick said, looking back at the man.

The man still had that same grin on his face. Nidoking started walking to the two pokemon.

"They're slow pokemon, so our little speedy pokemon should be able to maneuver around them. Remember, only use long range attacks. That water gun had to do some damage, and we'll just keep it up. Eventually they'll have to faint." Rick whispered.

"Yeah, good idea. Toto, just keep running around them!" Ren yelled out.

"You too Torch!" Rick commanded.

The two little pokemon ran around the two big pokemon. Rick thought the plan was working but then his eyes widened. Ren looked shocked.

The two Nido pokemon disappeared. Torch looked confused, and Toto started to panic.

Suddenly Nidoking appeared in front of Torch and punched it, sending it flying into the water that surrounded them.

Torch surfaced, but then the water started to electrocute the fire pokemon. Rick watched in horror as his pokemon was being electrocuted in front of his eyes.

"Did I forget to mention? The water is full of electrical energy that will shock anything that has electricity running through it, namely humans and pokemon.

Nidoqueen suddenly reappeared in front of Toto. Toto was frightened at the sight of the pokemon.

<Look I know we got off a little shaky, but the best relationships all start out with insults,>Toto said desperately, trying not to end up like his ally.

But alas, not all dreams come true, so Toto was also sent flying into the water and was shocked. Both pokemon were knocked out so Rick and Ren recalled them, but when they turned back the Nido pair was charging up Hyper Beams.

They fired the attacks, and they were sent flying into the water from the explosion.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Meanwhile…

Bill was tied up in a large lab, with a metal helmet on his head. The helmet had wires coming out of it that connected to a large machine.

"What do you want from me?!" Bill yelled.

"Don't worry! We are just going to copy your intelligence into the machine. Your memories will remain intact, but we are just going to copy everything you know about the world of pokemon." a scientist explained.

"Why would you want that?!"

"We don't want it. Our master wants it," another scientist said.

"Who's your master?" Bill asked.

"Even we don't know his true name. No one who works under him knows. Not even Team Rocket," the scientist explained.

"What do you mean, even Team Rocket?'" Bill asked.

"This man has awesome power. He is like the godfather of all three regions: Kanto, Johto and even Hoenn. He controls every gang in every region. The Sneezes, Team Rocket the Neo Rockets and even the two mysterious teams that terrorize the Hoenn regions."

"So you don't know who your master is? How pathetic," Bill said, grinning.

"We'll see who's pathetic…" the scientist said, pressing a button on his keyboard.

Suddenly Bill was getting zapped. Electrical pulses were shocking him, and Bill could do nothing but scream in pain.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Back to the battle…

Rick and Ren had been blasted into the water and being electrified.

Rick was not moaning in pain nor yelling nor anything else that exhibited that he felt pain, but he was still feeling the pain. He could feel the electricity go through his blood, and he found it hard to move his body.

Ren was not as strong as Rick was. She was screaming in pain and soon was knocked out and started sinking to the bottom of the sewer lake.

Rick saw his friend start sinking. He had to save her. Rick forced his body to dive down to get her despite the pain.

"Impressive, he is still alive. The girl was lucky, she got knocked out. The electrical charges only affect those with running minds. Not blank ones." The man thought.

Rick kept swimming down to get her. His body was feeling heavy, and his eyesight was getting wobbly.

"That boy is stupid but persistent. The electric charge is harder on you if you are moving throughout the water. But why hasn't he been knocked out yet? His body shouldn't be able to take this much pain." The man continued to think.

Rick got Ren and carried her in his arms as he was swimming back up. The pain was getting more and more rough. At this rate he would really die. But then, Rick suddenly got an idea.

He removed a pokeball on Ren's belt and called out her pokemon known as Relicanth. It was a rock type, so it would be able to resist the electric charges.

He held onto the rockfish pokemon with one hand while still carrying Ren in the other.

They surfaced and got a piece of land near the entrance from where they came.

"I am very impressed young man. You have shown three important qualities. Leadership, intelligence and you are a caring person who will not let your allies die. Join my army, and help me control all the lands!" the man said, getting off his throne.

Rick was panting from the struggle. He suffered some pretty bad injuries. Rick just laughed at the man's invite and coughed up some blood.

"You stupid *******. Unlike the losers who follow you, I'm not a follower. Thanks, but I can take care of myself…" Rick said, grinning, wiping the blood dripping out of his mouth.

"I see…then I'm sorry it had to end this way," He said, snapping his fingers.

At that instant a trap door beside Rick opened up and 2 Houndours jumped out. They were growling, and obviously hungry. They probably hadn't been fed for days.

One jumped at Rick but he dodged and kicked it into the water. The little dog pokemon was yelling out in pain. Rick turned his head and saw the other Houndour jumping at Ren's unconscious body.

Rick jumped in the way and used his arm to block the bite. The pokemon sunk its fangs into Rick's arm, trying to tear it off. Rick quickly brought out Buzz who used a Thunder Punch to knock the Houndour away.

Rick then sat next to Ren panting. He was holding his arm, trying to stem the blood flow.

Elekid managed to knock out the other Houndour, but suddenly three more popped out of the trap door. Rick knew this was going to be hard, so he released Nido to assist in the fight.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Bill sat on the floor weary and exhausted. They had repeated the process about four to five times. Theyhad said they kept messing up, but Bill was starting to think they were shocking him on purpose.

" Damn, if only I could reach Lickitung's pokeball…but they freaking strapped my hands together,"Bill thought to himself.

"Why is it that you won't release your knowledge? We didn't get one scrap of information from you." The scientist said.

"I won't let him tap into my head. I won't give you anything…" Bill said smirking. One of the scientists went up to him and slapped him across the face. Blood dripped from his mouth. But he continued to smile.

"You want me to tell you how to get him as smart as me?" Bill asked, grinning.

"Oh?"

"What is it?!" a second scientist demanded.

"Tell that friggen ******* to read a god damn book…" he said with a big smirk across his face.

The scientist didn't like Bill's answer.

"Shock him again!" he yelled.

"Say bye-bye Bill if you don't talk!" another one yelled out with a huge smile on his face.

"I wonder how much times we must shock him to in order to pry out the info we want!" a scientist yelled.

"There's always room in my mind to learn new things. Yes, let's find out." Bill said.

"Oh?"

"BRING IT ON!" he yelled.

"Die you dipsh*t!!!" the scientist screamed.

Just as he was about to press the button, the door to the lab was broken down.

All the scientists turned their heads, and started sweating from fear. They couldn't believe who they were facing.

The man stood there with an Arcanine beside him.

He moved the hair in front of his eyes to face the bums. His black shirt, purple pants, piercing brown eyes, and the little yinyang necklace around his neck were all the men needed to cower in fear.

"See you basterds…" Bill said in relief before fainting.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Back to the battle with Rick…


Rick was on his knees, panting hard. His pokemon had fought hard, fighting off maybe thirty Houndours, but they kept coming so he recalled them. Rick's left arm was all bloody, and blood dripped down from his head as well. Rick had had to fight four to five Houndours by himself too.

Ren was unconscious so he had to protect her. She couldn't do anything to protect herself. So he had to protect her. Right now it was his duty, as a trainer and a friend.

"Why do you continue to protect her? You do not love her, nor does she love you. If that isn't that reason, why do you continue to protect her? Just let her die, and I will let you join me." The man said getting aggravated.

(Continued next post, it's too long)

DKzM0mA
9th January 2006, 1:07 PM
“Shut up. You said it yourself, it’s one of my qualities. I don’t need love as an excuse to protect her. She’s my friend, and I’m that kind of guy.” Rick said grinning as he fended off another Houndour.

The man looked into Rick’s eyes.

“Those eyes…they are the same eyes, as that man. That justice loving man. The man I had to kill with my own hands.

^^^^^

It was a rainy day. The sky was dark, and no one was around. It in the sunlight, this field would probably be a beautiful sight, with flowers everywhere, and dew in the grass.

There was no dew in the grass today. The only thing dripping in this grass was blood. Men with black outfits with big R’s on their back lay the ground dead. There were only two men standing a live.

One was him of course. But the other was that man, who refused to die. He had white hair, that was held back with a white and green bandana. His shirt was torn up from the intense battle they were having.

Sadly in the end, he was killed. His white hair was stained with his own blood. He had fought well. He even left injuries on the evil man. But in the end, he and his pokemon were killed off.

It took a while for him to actually be taken down. No matter how much times he had been hit, blasted, or even shocked the man would give up. He kept standing back up and staring with those blue eyes with that annoying smirk on his face...

^^^^^

Why do those two have the same eyes?” the man thought.

“Besides…” Rick continued.

The man looked up to hear what he had to say.

“Ash wouldn’t be happy if she got killed.” He said, keeping the same smirk on his face.

“Ash? What’s that girl’s last name?!” the man yelled.

“I’d thought you would never ask. Her name…her name is… Ren Ketchum!” he yelled with a bigass smile on his face.

“****!” the man swore as he quickly pressed a button on his throne, and another trapdoor opened in front of Rick.

The huge pokemon appeared. It stood maybe eight feet tall, looked like a dinosaur, had green spikes on its back and roared like no other pokemon Rick ever heard of.

“Tyranitar, kill them. This is your dinner.” The man said.

The second the Tyranitar moved in, the roof exploded.

Something came out of the smoke, but was too fast to see. Suddenly a blur rammed into the dinosaur pokemon making it fly into a wall, demolishing it.

Suddenly a Charizard appeared over the man and launched a Flamethrower. The man jumped out of the way, and released his Rhydon.

Charizard flew over to Rick, and to his surprise, there were people on the back. The man jumped off and faced the villian while picking up Ren.

“Whoever you are, you’re going to fight a cavalry!” the man yelled. He took his hat off to reveal who was behind it.

“Ash Ketchum…” the man mumbled.

Suddenly there was an explosion behind them, and the man turned around to see what is was.

It was an Arcanine with Bill and someone else on it.

“Gary Oak?!” the man yelled out in surprise.

Rick put on another big grin. Kanto’s two strongest pokemon trainers have just confronted this *******. He was going to get it good.

“This is Officer Jenny of Saffron City!” a voice called out.

“The police squads of Cerulean, Saffron and Vermillion have gathered around this area. If you do not cooperate, we will be forced to enter to retrieve the culprits.” She warned.

“How do you expect to defeat me and Ash, plus the 1000 officers surrounding this area?” Gary asked.

Right after he ended his question, Arcanine launched a Flamethrower almost roasting the man if he didn't dodge.

Jiroo got off Charizard and helped Rick up. Rick weakly walked in front of Ash, staring right at the villian.

“Not how you pictured it eh?” Rick asked, mocking the man.

“Basterds….” The man said out loud.

He looked back at Ash, then to Gary. He was cornered. If he got past them somehow, he had to face over 1000 more men.

He was cornered, yet the maniacal man laughed. A loud, ear piercing laugh. A laugh at Gary and Ash had heard before.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
END
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Well, there’s the chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. I actually finished it the day I promised it would be done on SundayO_O. I kind got into typing this chapter a little too much, but oh well, hope you enjoyed it. My longest chapter too :D. Thanks to Pikachusim for Spell checking it!

Char1016
9th January 2006, 1:42 PM
This one wasn't that long.

Air Dragon
9th January 2006, 2:53 PM
Uh-huh, uh-huh...awesome! nice writing! Looks like Rick is really getting his hands full early... not really fair if Jase doesn't run into this much adversity imo... ah what the heck! this is really good! Rick was so cool to protect Ren like that! As to not loving her...lmho, WHO THE FLIPPING HECK D'YOU THINK YA KIDDIN", LOVER BOY! XD.

Hmm, it wasn't strictly your longest but i'll let that slide. To the review!

DKzM0mA, Mega Kick and Mega Punch aren't fighting moves... they're normal types. Nido's Double Kick was the only on that would score big time on Manyula as far as type advantages go. just for the record...


"-Obviously the evolution of Sneasel." Rick said coolly, staring at the pokemon.

"Wait, how did you know?" the thug asked angrily.

"I'm not just hot, but smart too, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out." He said with a little smirk on his face.

"There he goes again…" Ren whispered to Jiroo.

"Oh great…" Jiroo said with an annoyed face on.

"SHUT UP, I HEAR CAN HEAR YOU GUYS!" Rick yelled.

LOL...smarty pants.XD


"Toto, fill that crater up with your water gun!" Ren ordered.

Dancing, the pokemon shot out water that filled up the crater that was left by the Manyula's shadow ball.

Ah, i predict that Toto is the progeny of Ash's Totodile... and the answer is..up to DKzm0Ma! Muahhahahahaha! Suckers!


His sentence was cut off when he saw his Manyula already on the ground. The Combusken was slapping its hands together cleaning the dust off.

is it in a Torchic evolution's nature to not waste any time kicking the crud off an opponent's behind? XD.


<That thing is female?! Ugh, talk about fat chicks...>Toto said before launching the attack.

XD. Very astute, Toto. Very astute.


Nidoqueen suddenly reappeared in front of Toto. Toto was frightened at the sight of the pokemon.

<Look I know we got off a little shaky, but the best relationships all start out with insults,>Toto said desperately, trying not to end up like his ally.

But alas, not all dreams come true, so Toto was also sent flying into the water and was shocked.

Aww...don't tell me Toto with Nidoqueen, sittin' in a tree, Get-tin'-his-butt-whooped-big-time! XD.

Swearing was quite predominant in this chapter, wasn't it? Makes you wonder what those kids see on tv... for instance:


Basterds

I'm not a strict fan of swearing, but that word is spelt *******s. don't take it to note for future reference outside fics, ladies and gents! oh and by the way, this was funny:


"Tell that friggen ******* to read a god damn book…" he said with a big smirk across his face.

The scientist didn't like Bill's answer.

"Shock him again!" he yelled.

"Say bye-bye Bill if you don't talk!" another one yelled out with a huge smile on his face.

"bye-bye Bill if you don't talk!" wow, Bill isn't quite a reserved role model after all. i rest my case!

OK, that was an epic! keep it up! Later!

P.S.: I have a hunch... is Rick related to for DKzM0mA's Pm Box only, ya snoops! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Later!

Advancedblazeashmaymistyp
9th January 2006, 8:23 PM
..............Brendan died! sry i just can't beleive it. nice chapter better than ur other ones. more description it was funny when toto was mentioning something to the nidoqueen "fat chcks" lol! but it wasn't that long really but other than that it was good

Sexy May lover
10th January 2006, 12:08 AM
Did you guys totally miss the second post or sumthing? I don't think I remember any of his chapters take up a second post 0.0...

On to the review........................AWESOME!!!XD

I loveed how you just gave us a freakin hint of romance in the future.


"Why do you continue to protect her? You do not love her, nor does she love you. If that isn't that reason, why do you continue to protect her? Just let her die, and I will let you join me." The man said getting aggravated.

Um...RICK WILL 4EVER LOVE RENNYYYYYY :) I SUPPORT RICKxRENshipping!!!>=O


<That thing is female?! Ugh, talk about fat chicks...>Toto said before launching the attack


I'm not a strict fan of swearing, but that word is spelt *******s.

Actually SM, I am guessing DKzM0mA lives in Toronto(Canada), and down here, iono y, but the boyz spell ******* like that. Just thought i'd tell you.

Anyways it was an awesome chapter, and I don't know bout the others but this was your longest chapter.

Can't wait for the next chapter!


xD!!!! Toto is now my offcial favourite character xD!!!

Felix Feral Fezirix
10th January 2006, 7:36 AM
I changed the part about them chasing the guy around corners. I stuffed a lot more corners in there to get all of you very angry. Hehehehehehehe.

Pointless piece of trivia: While editing I found that DkZ accidentally turned a Jiroo into Brock.

Jiroo: Injustice I tell you!

Right... Now I shall end this post.

blackemerald
10th January 2006, 5:53 PM
Nice chapter. Yes Rick, I'm sure you proctecting Ren had nothing to do with love. I'll give them untill Saffron city...


Rick glared at the man. He was wearing a ski mask with no top so his hair was visible. His whole face except for his left eye was visible. There was a band over his left eye with a little slit in it so he was able to see through, but you were not actually able to see the eye through from the outside.

Hmm... This reminds me of Pryce of neo team rocket. Are you going to include him somehow?



"You want me to tell you how to get him as smart as me?" Bill asked, grinning.

"Oh?"

"What is it?!" a second scientist demanded.

"Tell that friggen ******* to read a god damn book…" he said with a big smirk across his face.

Aw, and I always thought of Bill as the help-you-out kind of guy. Oh well. This was also my favourite for other various reasons...


"They're slow pokemon, so our little speedy pokemon should be able to maneuver around them. Remember, don't use long range attacks. That water gun had to do some damage, and we'll just keep it up. Eventually they'll have to faint." Rick whispered.

I think you just contradicted yourself, as water gun is usually used as a long range attack. Not too sure, though

Good luck with the second part!

~B.E

Zangetsu
10th January 2006, 9:17 PM
Awesome chapter man! I loved this chapter totally. Totally grasped my attention :) I just wanted to continue reading mann.


Yes Rick, I'm sure you proctecting Ren had nothing to do with love. I'll give them untill Saffron city...

Pfft, forget that. Celadon's my guess.


"Tell that friggen ******* to read a god damn book…" he said with a big smirk across his face.
This made me crack up like crazy. I was like O_O!!! That was Bill?

All in all, awesome chapter, proly one of ur best. Nyways i'm out. Good luck on the next chapter^^!

-Tensa

DKzM0mA
11th January 2006, 11:50 AM
Fidani: That's nice, got anything else to say b4 I offcially classify that as spam?

SM: They arent? *runs to check* 0______0 Well.......I am god in this world, so if a scientist altered the TMs like that.....now they're fighting attacks :D

Baraneyasha:LOL, RickxRen shipping xD!!! Someone give it a weird name now o.O Yes I'm from Toronto, and yes that how the boys down here spell it....iono why....

Pikachuism: LOL, that was funny xD!! Jiroo is kinda getting on my nerves, but he's leaving the group anyhow...VERY SOON

Jiroo: What?! Injustice once agi-

DKz: Shut up! Are you arguing with god?!*Slaps across the face*

Blackemerald: Naw, he aint Pryce, but I hoped sumone would think that :p Saffron eh? Care to make a wager? xD!!!

Zangetsu: Bill is not the guy you all thought! He's a gangsta O.O!!! Celadon eh? Should I put you up for $100 Canadian? xD!!!!

Thanks for your reviews!!! The continuation should be up by...later....:D

Hoenn Warrior
12th January 2006, 12:31 AM
Another excellent chapter DKzM0mA. Cant wait to see why that Crack Head is laughing. I wonder if Ash is going to give a major beat down on Rick or give him a little warning about not dragging his little girl into the bad man's Lair. Cant wait to see the next adventure Jase will have in Hoenn.

lisalover
12th January 2006, 7:42 PM
hiya
ima new to serebii but i gota say your fic is really good. neway just wonderin are u ever gona write in max or brock

Mrs. Ishida
12th January 2006, 9:40 PM
Hype man! Sweet, this chapter was crazyyyy.

Yeah man, I want to know what's so funny Okay, let's start bidding! 50 bux saying Ren will fall for Rick when she finds outs what Rick did for him!

I wonder what will happen in Jase's next adventure. Awesome chapter man, keep it up!

DKzM0mA
13th January 2006, 9:21 PM
Hoenn Warrior: Thanks, you'll find out why he's laughing, but I think I might get slapped for it -_- You wont Jase for while, unless I do something....but it might be weird....

Lisalover: Welcome to the forums, and thanks for choosing my fanfiction :) Glad you liked it. Iono bout Brock, but Max defenitly will be in the story. But he won't come untill, maybe around Fortee city...and you will be surprised what I have planned for him :D

Quincy: It's offcial, this thread is going to be a casino xD!!!!

EDIT: Oh yeah, read my sig everyone! But beware! Contains heavyass spoilers!!!

Atari
14th January 2006, 6:56 PM
And you may thank me for the Trainer Card ^^ :p.

Chu! Even though that was the longest chapter, I would have to say it kept my attention almost better than any other chapter. Sorry I havn't been here to reveiw and tip for awhile... School and stuff. I dunno. I'm just glad the writer's block didn't stop you from writing that chapter!


..............Brendan died! sry i just can't beleive it.
Ummm, sorry I didn't realize it, I was just hoping DKz would point that out later in the saga. Glad everyone ignored that one. ^^

DKzM0mA
14th January 2006, 7:38 PM
Oh snap, I forgot to give credit xD! *gets slapped*

Anyways thanks for reviewing, and yeah school is getting a little hectic since it's my first year of high school and all.

Who said it was Brendan *starts doing weird hand movements*

Felix Feral Fezirix
15th January 2006, 10:35 AM
I forgot. But I guessed. ANd are you doing a certain little Italian hand signal?

*does it*

DKzM0mA
28th January 2006, 3:40 AM
From the deepest ocean arises the man thought to be dead!
DKzM0mA

Soory for the REALLY long down time, but my sis's computer got a virus which soon infected my computer, which is the reason I have disappeared of the face of the earth for so long.

Anyways, while getting it cleaned out, the chapter was destroyed in the process. So obviously I gotta redo the chapter. Sorry for the inconvinience(sp?)

lisalover
28th January 2006, 3:59 AM
havn't posted in a while but i've got another guestion for you. ima wondering if you're ever gonna write whats goin on with Trish or her journey through jhoto.

DKzM0mA
28th January 2006, 4:24 AM
Well, I am planning on using Trish in the future, but I wasn't going to actually write about her adventures. I might take that into account, and maybe use it as like a filler chapter? :S But wait till you see what I have in store for Trish before the actual tournie.

Felix Feral Fezirix
29th January 2006, 12:58 PM
Better make it good. Mwahahahahaha.

DKzM0mA
29th January 2006, 10:38 PM
Damn rite itz going to be good. Pikachuism, just be ready to beta it up.

Felix Feral Fezirix
1st February 2006, 9:35 AM
Depends on whether my mom forces me to clean the house all over again or not...But I'll probably have it down the day it gets to me.

GeminiDragon
9th February 2006, 11:59 PM
this fic is really good i hope the next chapter comes soon

DKzM0mA
10th February 2006, 3:31 PM
Ack...Sorry guys. I should've had the chapter up by now if it wasn't for my stupid cousin -_-. He got a girl pregnent, and now the whole family is going mental! The wedding day is getting close, and so is the baby, cause apprently she's 2 months pregnent and no one noticed until last week O_O..or the week before. It's getting really hectic around here with me being the best man and all so I once again apologize for getting the chapter up.

Zangetsu
10th February 2006, 8:34 PM
Phew, once again you have made me think you got into some horrible accident...

Aww man that suxx. Now you family is going crazy about this...well take your time. Atleast we know you're alive and still writing.

Rasengan_girl
12th February 2006, 5:46 PM
So fic is really good. I love your plot. It's totally awesome even if it is another regular trainer fic. It awesome. I love Krys. She's such a ditz. She actually reminds me of myself when I was a little younger but eh...Can't wait to see what that f*ag is laughing about.

Lol, it looks like the chapter wont be up for a while. This is like my sis last year >_>. Well, I'm sure you'll be an awesome bestman so good luck with the chapter, cause I'm dying to know what's so funny XD

i am a ditto
13th February 2006, 3:49 AM
your story needs 15 thumbs up.The crowbar and krys was very funny.Good luck with the next chapt.

C Ya
Ditto

Rasengan_girl
18th February 2006, 2:33 AM
I know you have a life and all, but are you even working on the next chapter? I'm really get anxious to find out what's going to happen next.

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th February 2006, 8:19 AM
Take your time, I'll be ready anytime. lol. ANd don't listen to these guys telling you to hurry, best man.

DKzM0mA
19th February 2006, 12:27 AM
Sorry about not having up YET. I've already told you guys about the whole wedding ****, and it's coming up around the end of next week. I'm working on it riight now, and trying to make it as long as I can. It aint going to be like 70 pages like Saber(O_O) What she was smoking o make it that long i have no idea, but I'm gunna try my best :p

Felix Feral Fezirix
19th February 2006, 10:05 AM
If it is 70 pages long, I'm gonna kill you. I'll have to read it twice over!!! Argh!

crobatconey/leafeon lunatic
19th February 2006, 3:59 PM
This is a very good story. Good grammer, interesting plot, and related 2 the anime! It's way better then mine. Although, I think all the others are better then mine...

typhlo
22nd February 2006, 5:34 PM
when will the next chapter be out i dont mean to rush you but i cant wait im 2 excited

crobatconey/leafeon lunatic
23rd February 2006, 11:10 PM
To be honest I think this fan-fic is the best one I read in my eyes! So, take your time we dont want a story with tons of mistakes.

i am a ditto
25th February 2006, 5:04 AM
Take your time, I'll be ready anytime. lol. ANd don't listen to these guys telling you to hurry, best man.

Listen to Pikachuism and me. It will only put pressure on you if you work to hard and fast.

I hope things are going well

Ditto

Advancedblazeashmaymistyp
26th February 2006, 6:04 AM
yeah wht everybody else said take your time to write the next chapter. Because if u spoil the oranges they can't come back? idn just take ur time tht wedding thing sounds crzy. well good luck

DKzM0mA
27th February 2006, 12:44 AM
Ok my loyal reviewers, I should have the chapter done by Tuesday, and we'll have to wait for Pikachuism to beta it up. So pray that he isn't busy ppl ^^

Felix Feral Fezirix
27th February 2006, 6:25 AM
What I hope is tht I'm ungrounded by then. >_<

Zangetsu
27th February 2006, 9:56 PM
Being grounded sucks big tiem >_> Well, good luck on the chapter! Btw, how long you trynna make it? 9 pages? Cause that'll be long. WTF Saber did 70 pages ? O_O!!!!

DKzM0mA
28th February 2006, 1:06 AM
Around 15 pages I think...I had to redo it over AGAIN cause of my cousins going on my computer deleting everything I have. I'm typing like a mofo, so Pikachuism, prepare to correct like you never correted before :p

Hoenn Warrior
28th February 2006, 1:56 AM
Sucks that you have to write it all over again yo. Just take your time on the story and it will be perfect as always with the huge drama/suspense, and love interests that you always bring to the table.

DKzM0mA
3rd March 2006, 5:40 AM
Kello everyone. Just here reporting that ma big bro, the real DKz(this is his lil sis) got grounded due to a lil problem at school(it wasn't his fault), so the chapter will not be up for a while. He wanted me to tell you that. But why do you like this garbage? Do you guys honestly like this piece of crap known as Hoenn vs. Kanto? My fic pwnz all.

Advancedblazeashmaymistyp
3rd March 2006, 8:59 PM
........yes! we like this fic! it's not garbage! jeez, wht's ur problem.

Felix Feral Fezirix
4th March 2006, 2:59 PM
It's called jealousy between siblings. ANd I'm not reading your fic unless it's more coherent that your brother's. And I wouldn't worry, I get into trouble in school all the time and just went through a whole lot of crap after I threatened a teacher, but everything turned out fine.

P.S. I'm sneaking in. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sike Saner
13th March 2006, 1:03 AM
Just finished reading this. ^^ I have to say, as I read chapter after chapter, I noticed an increase in quality as the story progressed - there were fewer grammatical and punctuation errors in later chapters, plus the story and characters are getting more interesting as the story continues too. But anyway, yeah, this is one story that definitely got better the futher along I read - that last chapter was quite entertaining, and a significant improvement from the early chapters.

Here's some highlights; just a few little snippets of this story that I particularly enjoyed:


“So newbie, what pokemon did you pick?” he asked.

“I picked charmander you ****ing newbie of an idiot! I’m damn hell gonna kill you!” he threatened trying to grab him but Oak held him back.

o_o ...Remind me never to call that guy a "newbie". XD


Inside Jase's brain...

Jase walks down a path with his Charmander beside him.

“Oh Jase…”

Jase turns around to see Trish with a battleaxe in her hand. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her dissect Charmander with a demented smile on her face, blood flying everywhere.

She then hacks Jase’s arm off, and then puts it in a blender and let 'er rip...

Jase’s imagination scared even him. “God damnit, I’m going to die before I even get my first badge!” Jase thought.

XD Lovely piece of mental cinema there. XP


"How about no, now give me my kiss!” the thug demanded.

"You want a kiss, come get some love over here! A voice yelled out from behind.

The thug turned around only to get embered straight in the face.

"What the ****? What kind of love was that?! The thug asked angrily.

XD


"My name is Krys Michaels, but my future name will be Kyrs Birch after I marry my hubbypoo."She said with hearts in her eyes.

Hubby…poo? O_o Do me a favor – if I ever call anyone that, please come over here and shoot me. XD


"It's 5pm? I had to get back to petalburg but now it's too late. Oh well. Hey lets go shopping Jase!"She suddenly yelled?

"What?! You want to go shopping with a total stranger? And besides I hate shopping, it's boring, it sucks and the lines are always long!" Jase complained.

"Oh please!” she whined looking very seductive.

Jase started backing away with a worried look on his face. As he was backing away she was moving up coming closer with a sexy smile on her face. She then winked at him seductively and Jase really got scared!

"Oh crap not the sexy wink! I always fall for that damn wink. Ok...keep it cool Jase. Don't fall for it. She's just doing that to get you to do her begging. You don't even know that damn girl. Ok now walk up to her and say NO!

"Hell no! I aint going shopping with you! Never in a thousand years!"Jase declared.
-----------------------------
20 minutes later.

"Do you think this pink dress makes me look fat? I like this purple one because it'll show off my nice-

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT!"Jase demanded.

"Yeah, you're right. This yellow blouse will show off my sweet ra-

"DAMMIT SHUT UP! WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING THESE THINGS WITH ME?! AND WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT STUFF OUT LOUD?!"Jase yelled.

"Well, seeing how you were listening, it shows that you were interested.” she said in a smart alick tone.

Jase blushed like mad. His skin became redder than his red vest.

"Calm down!” she giggled.

"Whatever, can we just go?"Jase asked.

"Fine, I reserved a room at the pokemon center. Luckily I got us the last room!"Krys said.

"We have to share a room?!"Jase complained.

"Don't worry I am sure there is more than one bed in there but if there isn't we'll just have to share!” she said giggling at the same time.

"WHAT THE HELL?"Jase yelled.

Ginormous quote, I know, but I just had to mention all of that. That part there was just too priceless.. XD


"So you mind telling me what pokemon he uses?"Jase asked.

"Nope"

"Please?"

"Only if you admit that I have a really nice ra-

"NEVERMIND JUST SHUT UP" Jase thundered.

XDDDD


"OH, HI MY FUTURE HUSBAND! I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LITTLE RICHYPOO! CAN YOU GUESS WHO THIS IS? WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, IT'S YOUR FUTURE WIFE, KRYS MICHEALS!" she yelled.

"Oh, it's the crazy one. Why are you calling me? Why do you think we are going to be married and...WHY DO YOU CALL ME YOUR DAMN POO?!" Rick yelled.

"WHY DO YOU CALL ME YOUR DAMN POO?!" LMAO.


The opening theme song for One Piece then suddenly started playing magically.

“Sorry, but that girl is my responsibility!” The voice stated.

Bruno, Krys and Wally turned all turned around to see Jase.

“It’s Jase!” Krys yelled.

“Where is that music coming from?” both Wally and Bruno murmured to themselves.

That last line was funny. XP


The little light then became a holographic square showing all the locations in the Hoenn region. Krys was amazed with this technology. She poked her finger right through it, surprised to find out it wasn’t even solid. She then continuously poked through it, like it was her first time looking at light.

Oh, Lord, that sounds like something I would do. XP


< My trainer is the mature one of the bunch, and he’s eating noodles peacefully!>

I just really like that line for some strange reason. ^^


“Congratulations” the man smirked. “You are a very skilled trainer. You’d be perfect for the job I am about to offer you. Here you go. First you win the prize, called a nugget. Also would you like to join Team rocket..?

The second he finished his question, Rick kneed him in the stomach, followed by a strong punch in the face by Jiroo. Just when the man thought it was over, Ren came down from the sky with her bat, smashing his head.

WTF?... XDDDD


“Lickitung, the licking pokemon. This pokemon has a tongue that is actually twice its own size. When it encounters something it has never seen before, this pokemon gives it a lick to memorize its taste,”the dex explained.

“That’s kind of creepy,” Rick shuddered.

My sentiments exactly… o~o


"Pfft, I also know another thing about that pokemon! It happens to be half ice and half dark!" Rick said.

"So what?!" the thug asked as the pokemon launched the ice beam.

The group dodged the ice beam and waited for Rick to continue.

"It means that it has a huge disadvantage against fighting type pokemon and attacks!" Rick yelled.

The group looked shocked. Why was Rick explaining all of this to them? They knew this already.

That last paragraph...I just love that. XD

DKzM0mA
13th March 2006, 2:22 AM
OMFGROFLJESUSCHIRST, THE Sike Saner reviewed in my fic O_O. *runs to see if Bush is still president* Damn...guess world peace hasn't commenced yet, but O_O one of my idols reviewed this fic. That just leaves Power Shot and Saber...and maybe even Breezy *is now cocky*

Thanks you for the comments. Aw man I feel so special now =D This fic is so garbage compared to yours yet to complimented like it was those of Saber's, yet her fic makes mine look like compost. Thanks again for an awesome review *giggles insanely*

Well my lovely reviewers, now that this whole wedding fiasco is over, my chapter should be up by Wednesday at the latest since I must re-type my chapter FOR THE FREAKING 3RD TIME (typing out 15 pages 3 times isn't very fun) Since it's the March Break, time is a luxury that I've gained :D

Well Dkz out...


PS. SIKE SANER REVIEWED IN MY FIC! WHO'S THE MAN? I AM!!!! I WILL SLOWLY CONQUER THE WORLD!

Rasengan_girl
14th March 2006, 6:13 PM
OMFGROFLJESUSCHIRST, THE Sike Saner reviewed in my fic O_O. *runs to see if Bush is still president* Damn...guess world peace hasn't commenced yet, but O_O one of my idols reviewed this fic. That just leaves Power Shot and Saber...and maybe even Breezy *is now cocky*

Thanks you for the comments. Aw man I feel so special now =D This fic is so garbage compared to yours yet to complimented like it was those of Saber's, yet her fic makes mine look like compost. Thanks again for an awesome review *giggles insanely*

Well my lovely reviewers, now that this whole wedding fiasco is over, my chapter should be up by Wednesday at the latest since I must re-type my chapter FOR THE FREAKING 3RD TIME (typing out 15 pages 3 times isn't very fun) Since it's the March Break, time is a luxury that I've gained :D

Well Dkz out...


PS. SIKE SANER REVIEWED IN MY FIC! WHO'S THE MAN? I AM!!!! I WILL SLOWLY CONQUER THE WORLD!


YESHHHHHHHHHHHH Finally, I get to read what's going to happen!!!! YESHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lisalover
15th March 2006, 4:18 AM
Well i hope you had a good wedding as we've been waiting forever to red what happens. Finally i we can read it tomorrow. Gives Dkz 10000000 cookies.

p.s. it does suck to have to write a chapter over and over again. just look at chpter 5 of me fic(had to write if like 5 times. My comp kept breaking down)

DKzM0mA
15th March 2006, 7:39 AM
*gives cookies back to lisalover*

Don't expect the chapter up by today, cause of downtime we've ben having. I wasn't able to send the chapter to Pikachuism. Sorry about this. Just when the chapter has never so close to your little hands :( Start praying that Pikachuism is not busy, and if by miracle he happens to have it ready by today everyone kiss his feet.

Felix Feral Fezirix
15th March 2006, 1:51 PM
Oh Sike, a lot of the improvement was due to DkZ hiring me. And I admit the most meddling I have done in any of DkZ's chapter's was the hacked-up-Charmander-in-a-blender thing. I practically rewrote all of it, since it only made me s******. Then after I finished, I started laughing to the point of suffocation. So......yeah.

P.S. Just back from 3 day camp....

P.P.S. No worries! Is proofreading chapter at great speed.

P.P.P.S. Razor razor razor.

P.P.P.P.S. ANd I FINALLY HAVE BROADBAND! GO ME!

P.P.P.P.P.S. Ahem. I really should get back to proofreading. Bye.

Hoenn Warrior
15th March 2006, 5:57 PM
Hope the chapter is up soon. Im dying to read it and the suspense is killing me. Cant wait to see the conclusion of the battle with Rick and the journey with Jase and Krys.

Rasengan_girl
16th March 2006, 1:59 AM
I'm sorrie, but I seriously Can not wait nymore long!!!!!!!! Please Pikachuism, i respect u have a life and all but, THE CHAPTER IS SO CLOSE, AND I'M DYINGGGGGG..

ijea4444
16th March 2006, 8:41 PM
i noticed that u called rick's torchic scorch and then u called it torch. Maybe u changed the name because it evovled but i don t know

Also im new so i want help to put pics and stuff

Kyuubii
16th March 2006, 10:02 PM
Great job DKzMOmA, this is one of the better fics out there right now, you definitely have improved since prior chapters. But I want you to know, if you make us wait one more day I just might jump off a cliff. *runs outside to find the closest cliff*

lisalover
16th March 2006, 11:52 PM
Agrees wit Kyuubii.

There's a cliff in me yard, unless u want to lose a reviwer please post soon.

peace out
lisalover

p.s. ru still reading this? If u r stop and post the next chapter.

DKzM0mA
17th March 2006, 12:26 AM
Pikachuism: Well it seems you have gained a new liking to PSing which is a influence from Saber's thread LOL

HoennWarrior: Thanks foor being so patient, and no worries it'll be up....but the time of when's it's up is not up to me anymore...

Rasengan_girl: Stop complaining or imma chidori you :p

ijea4444:Ya new reviewerr :D*gives a cookies* Yeah I know it changed(the nikkie, but I'm a lazy *******...so yeah *gives another cookie*

Kyuubi: WOW another new reviewer! *brings out 100 cookies* Thanks for the compliments, but there are WAYYYYY better fics out there. Like Saber's Cross of faiths: Pokemon Revelations, or Sike Saner's Communication and others, but thanks for choosing my fic :D ROFLMFAO don't suicide over my fic D:

Lisalover: Oh god, lmfao you sound extremly threatning for some odd reason ~_~ But don't worry, the chappie will be up ;)*gives lisalover a cookie* WTF are people serious about suiciding over the chapter? o.O


Sorry all, but the when the chappie gets up is not up to me, but up to Pikachuism. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU PM HIM LIKE MONKEYS WITH VERY THREATNING WORDS TO GET IT DONE (although that would be extrememly funny) BUT DON'T. He's gotz a life outside too , and you guys gotta respect that. Sorry about the dely, but it will be up! ....Someday. BUT IT WLL!

*leaves the tray of cookies out for everyone*

Have a nice day/night :D

PS: ................Lisalover, you live infront of a cliff? Isn't that a little dangerous for small kids? XDDD

PSS. WHOEVER GETS THE FIRST POST GETS A MUFFIN :D

ijea4444
17th March 2006, 12:56 AM
Hey Im writting a fan fic and i wanted to know if u liked it.It might take me a while to create it because im new and all! ;001; im thinkin ;001; shoud be my logo :) i also wan to no if i can put stuff about ur charcters like the icc and the characters themselves but if u dont approve i wont put anythin about it.I was also thinkin that one of my charcters could be a cuz of 1 of urs or somthin.Also how do u make threads?PLz respond :( GOSH iam a bad speller

Kyuubii
17th March 2006, 3:05 AM
OK, I'll try to be a little more patient. *walks away from cliff* But only for the cookies and muffins!

i am a ditto
17th March 2006, 3:44 AM
DKZ u forgot bout me. In celebration of the SIKE SANER visiting check my avatar. Take your time is another tip.

Ditto

Firemaster90
17th March 2006, 4:19 PM
this fic rockz cant wait till the next chap.

DKzM0mA
17th March 2006, 5:58 PM
Kyuubi: Ofcourse, anything is possible with cookies and muffins!!:D *gives 759375 muffins*

i_am_a_ditto: I didn't foget you!!! You just...slipped my mind >.> ROFL that user title change was unecessary, but thanks again :D *gives a muffin*

Firemanter90: YAY NEW REVIEWER! *gives a cookie* Thanks for reviewing my fic :D *gives a muffin*

Sorry guys that the chapter still isn't up yet. I don't know what taking Pikachuism so long to Beta, but most likely it's a personal thing but in the mean time *hands out billions of muffins*

ijea4444
17th March 2006, 8:22 PM
DKzMOma wot abouit wot i asked you if i offended you tell me so i can fix it :( also wot r refferals a was just looking at my profile and said a had 1

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th March 2006, 2:08 AM
Banned from compy, sneaking in, doing m own stuff, getting out of inferiority complexes so that I can do something.......It's a tough life. >_<

DKzM0mA
18th March 2006, 3:16 AM
GUYS! We're almost there for the next chapter! Just a little problem, Pika half of it is missing O_O. Don't worry guys, we'll get this resolved...we're toooooo close to give up now lol. Hope the chapter is worth the wait. *drum rolls to increase tension*

Felix Feral Fezirix
18th March 2006, 3:28 AM
PIka is not having it half missing. Pika was halfway through edit. >_< ANd DkZ, Commas are your best friend. Seriously.

DKzM0mA
18th March 2006, 3:44 AM
Well, like I explained before, I had my computer cleaned out so I had to redo it. Then my stupid cousin got a girl pregnant (only 17 too, but turning 18), so they gotta get married and I’m the best man so it’s a little hectic around here. After this chapter I’ll have to focus on Jase and Krys for a while. Expect a familiar face in the next chapter.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 16: Dodge the Flaming attacks! Identities are revealed!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Rick put on another big grin. Kanto’s two strongest pokemon trainers had just confronted this *******. He was going to get it good.

“This is Officer Jenny of Saffron City!” the person in question called out.

“The police squads of Cerulean, Saffron and Vermillion have gathered around this area. If you do not cooperate, we will be forced to enter to retrieve the culprits,” she warned, the voice echoing into the building.

“How do you expect to defeat me and Ash, plus the 1000 officers surrounding this area?” Gary asked the man.

Right after he ended his question, Arcanine launched a Flamethrower, almost roasting the man if he didn't dodge.

Jiroo got off Charizard and helped Rick up. The latter then weakly walked in front of Ash, staring right at the villain.

“Not how you pictured it eh?” Rick asked, mocking the man.

“*******s….” The man said out loud.

He looked back at Ash, then to Gary. He was cornered. If he got past them somehow, he had to face over 1000 more men.

He was cornered, yet the maniacal man laughed. It was a loud, ear piercing laugh. A laugh at Gary and Ash had heard before.

“That laugh…” Ash started.

“Could it be?” Gary asked himself, glaring at the maniac laugh his head off.

“What’s so funny…you loser…?” Rick asked, panting. He was astonished that this lunatic was laughing in a predicament like this.

“Arcanine, use Fire Blast!” Gary ordered.

The canine dog pokemon opened its mouth and launched a star-shaped giant inferno headed straight for the mysterious man who had finally stopped laughing.

The man stared at the flaming attack that was about to hit him. Just as he was about to be roasted, the fire suddenly dissipated before even touching him.

Gary then looked up and was shocked to see the fire attack was coming straight down as if something on the ceiling fired it.

Gary got on Arcanine quickly, and it jumped over to the platform where Ash and the others were standing.

“What the hell?” Gary complained. “How did he do that?”

“There’s probably a fire pokemon hiding somewhere up there,” Rick guessed.

“That doesn’t explain what happened to the Fire Blast that Arcanine launched,” Jiroo said.

“Whatever happened, it won’t happen again!” Ash yelled out, getting on his Charizard.

“Damn right!” Gary yelled.

“Charizard, let’s go!” Ash yelled lifting off.

“Let’s go too Arcanine!” Gary yelled as his large pokemon jumped over to the platform where the madman stood.

“Double Fire Blast!” Both Ash and Gary said in unison.

Both of their pokemon launched the flaming star shaped attack that combined into one, large, flaming inferno. The attack raced right for the man.

“It’s over…” Rick mumbled.

“No way he’ll be able stop that…” Jiroo said, turning away. Though the man was evil, Jiroo could never bring himself to watch anyone die in front of him. Perhaps it was his nature, but only he knew.

The huge inferno was about to make contact, but the man simply raised his arm, pointing at the blaze and suddenly, just like Gary’s first attempt, it dissipated before reaching him. The group was baffled.

“Impossible!” Bill exclaimed.

Rick was astounded. How could he stop such an attack? Rick thought. And with only one hand! A human can’t stop that, without something like a barrier to protect him. But it can’t be a barrier. Otherwise we would have seen the barrier deflecting the attack.

“Charizard, use Fire Blast, one more time!” Ash yelled.

Rick suddenly remembered that the man had to dodge Arcanine’s first shot when it and Gary had arrived and began thinking.

Charizard's blast disappeared once again! Ash and Gary were getting extremely frustrated.

The two fire pokemon kept circling the man, launching fire attacks at every opening they could find, but all ended up dissipating like the first.

“Gary, this is getting us nowhere. We got to think of something else…” Ash suggested.

Gary nodded and turned to his pokemon.

“Arcanine, use Extremespeed!” Gary ordered.

Arcanine jumped over to the man’s platform and charged, disappearing in a blur, and just as the large pokemon was about to ram its head into the man…

“What the hell?!” Jiroo yelled, doubting what his eyes had just witnessed.

“No…way…” Rick muttered, panting again.

Both Ash and Gary also doubted their eyes. Their eyes widened at the man’s strength.

The man had Arcanine lifted with only one hand! The canine pokemon couldn’t believe what just happened. It remembered charging at him, and it was about to strike, but suddenly somehow he appeared under it and cancelled the attack.

“This denies the laws of the universe! How could a mere human have that much strength?! Arcanine was almost 500 pounds, yet this man was lifting it as if it was a dang dung bell!" Bill said, terrified of the man.

“Don’t be surprised by this…I haven’t shown you anything yet…” He said. The man then threw the large pokemon at the group.

“Charizard!” Ash yelled.

His dragon-like pokemon flew up and caught the huge pokemon, which was moving at a great speed, but was still sent flying into a wall behind them.

Rick’s eyes widened at the sight of the man’s pure strength. “How do you have such power?” Rick asked.

“You want to know? Fine, I’ll show you guys what I will use to kill you all. Ash and Gary, watch closely, as for you will see something very familiar. Oh, and this is something you will not find in a book Bill,” he explained, smirking.

The entire group watched closely as the man slowly removed his ski mask and unwrapped the cloth over his left eye.

What they saw was disgusting. No. Disgusting was too mild for the vile garbage they witnessed on his face.

“What the hell is that…?” Rick asked, almost terrified at the sight of the monstrous thing.

His left side of his face had no regular human eye. It was one huge strange eyelike thing that covered the entire area of left side of his face. It was all a strange mix of a red and yellow, with a piercing black pupil that was a slit. A strange blue aura floated away from it constantly. Despite the man staring straight at them, the strange abomination was looking around as if it had a mind of its own.

“What in the image of god is that?!” Bill asked, yelling out.

“This is what is known as the ‘Heavenly eye’. Despite having the word ‘heaven’ in its name, this eye grants only powers of darkness,” the man explained.

Rick and Jiroo turned their heads to Ash and Gary to find them more shocked then they were. The eyes was disgusting, yes, but it was nothing to freeze up over.

“Ash, what’s wrong?” Rick asked.

“Gary, are you alright?” Jiroo asked.

“Impossible…” Gary started.

“It can’t be…” Ash continued.

”What’s wrong boys?” Bill asked.

“Obviously, they recognized me. Or…rather who I was before I died…” the man said.

“What does he mean by that?” Jiroo asked.

“He’s a zombie?” Rick asked, questioning his thoughts.

“His name…his name is…” Gary started.

“Giovanni Gaien…” Ash finished.

“But it can’t be…” Jiroo started. “My brother Brock told me he was killed by you Ash,” he finished.

“I did…”

“But how could he be standing right there?” Rick asked.

“It’s a power of the Heavenly Eye. It brought me back to life, and I owe it all to you Ash Ketchum!” Giovanni yelled.

“What…?” Ash asked.

“Were you not the one who destroyed the orbs of red and blue? The only two things on earth that would allow humans to control two of the most powerful pokemon ever,” he asked.

“Groudon and Kyogre…” Ash muttered.

“Let me tell the history of my heavenly eye…” Giovanni offered.

The others listened intently to the man’s story, and why it was Ash’s fault that he had once again rose from the land of the dead.

“I’m sure you are all familiar of the pokemon known as Deoxys. The pokemon that supposedly was created by a space virus and plunged into earth about fifteen years ago? The reason why Raquaza had quickly engaged into battle with the creature is not because it had trespassed on its territory nor because it was something the green dragon didn’t like the presence of. It attacked because it was not the first time it had seen the pokemon.” Giovanni began.

Ash remembered the battle between Rayquaza and Deoxys he witnessed that day in La Rousse city. The power of the two pokemon was incredible, and probably unmatched by all.

“Millions of years ago, Deoxys appeared on Earth. Before the whole event in the Arctic. It brought another pokemon along with itself. A pokemon that has no name, even today. This pokemon united with Deoxys, had the power to become the tyrant of this world. It had the strength of fifty Machamps, the speed of thirty Rapidashs and the intellect of one hundred Alakazams. This pokemon nearly destroyed the world, but all the legendary pokemon of our earth bonded together and defeated Deoxys. Yet the mysterious pokemon was still too powerful, despite the united pokemon. The only way to ultimately stop this creature was to seal it away,” Giovanni continued.

“You still haven’t told us how Ash is responsible for your return,” Bill reminded.

“Aren’t we an impatient geezer?” Giovanni taunted him.

“Just continue with the explanation…” Gary said angrily.

“As I was saying, the only way to stop this evil creature was to seal it. During this battle, the two legendary beasts of Kyorge and Groudon started to fight and they refused to listen to compromise. So Rayquaza thought of a way to deal with the squall between the two legendaries and the mysterious beast’s defeat. While Kyogre and Groudon fought each other, all the other legendaries but Rayquaza, fought the mysterious pokemon. Soon the two battles intertwined, and at that moment, Rayquaza created the two orbs of Red and Blue. While using this to put the two ancient pokemon into internal slumber, he also trapped the evil pokemon’s power into the two orbs, making the beast easier to destroy.” he finished.

“So that’s how the orbs had the power to let humans control them and eventually become one with them. The orbs used the power of the evil pokemon!” Ash exclaimed.

“So Rayquaza quickly tried to destroy Deoxys fifteen years ago because it was afraid that it might have brought another evil pokemon as well?” Jiroo asked.

“Correct,” Giovanni answered.

“So how does Ash take the blame for any of this?” Rick asked getting annoyed.

“So Ash, why don’t you tell them what happened 15 years ago?” Giovanni asked, smirking.

The group turned to Ash, waiting to see if he had truly done something wrong.

“15 years ago, Kyogre and Groudon were awoken by Team Magma and Aqua and started fighting each other. In the end we all helped out and made the blue and red orbs disappear,” Ash explained.

“And when they disappeared…” Jiroo started.

“The pokemon’s power was released…” Rick finished.

“Lance told me about that. It wasn’t your fault. It was those team leaders who woke the pokemon up from their eternal slumber,” Gary said.

“How does all this relate to your eye? And where is this pokemon?” Rick asked.

“You don’t know?” Giovanni asked.

“Well that’s why I am asking you!”

“Rick…” Bill shuddered.

“Yeah, what??”

“I think we’re looking at the pokemon…” Bill said.

“That piece of **** on his face is the almighty pokemon?!” Rick yelled out.

“Obviously the geezer has just proven that the old are wiser than the young…” Giovanni said, mocking Rick.

There was silence for a while, and the tension in the room hit an intense level. Ash and Gary both glared the man down.

“Giovanni, you have told us a lot. But, you still haven’t told us something else that is important…” Gary said.

The man scratched his head unknown to what he was talking about. “Oh? And what would be?” Giovanni asked.

“How the hell you’re standing in front of us today!” Ash burst out.

“What do you mean?” Rick asked.

“About five years ago, Giovanni was a criminal that was known all around Kanto, Johto and Hoenn. He was the one responsible for killing the three region champions at the time. Nine years ago, he killed the Kanto champion named Ray Mackenzie.” Bill explained.

“Wait…Mackenzie? As in Jase?” Rick asked, shocked to hear this.

“So you know Jase?” Gary asked. “Yeah, his father was murdered on his fifth birthday. If I just stayed a couple of more hours…”

“Gary, it wasn’t your fault. No one knew it was coming…” Jiroo assured.

“Then one month later, Giovanni killed the Johto champion Sandra Sun. She was a beautiful young woman who had a child and married her fiancée just the week before. Then the Hoenn champion joined them…” Bill said but then suddenly Rick turned around and grabbed Bill by the collar.

“Wha…Rick, what the hell are you doing?!” Bill exclaimed.

“What…WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT THE HOENN CHAMPION?!” Rick burst out in anger.

“Oh crap…Rick is Brenden’s little…” Ash started.

‘WHAT THE FUC*K DID JUST SAY?!” Rick yelled out furiously once again.

“The Hoenn champion…Brendan Birch…was killed precisely…two weeks after Sandra’s death…” Bill staggered, finally catching on.

“That kid is Brendan’s little bro eh?” Gary stated, moving some hair out of his eye.

“We don’t know if Giovanni was actually the culprit. He left no evidence this time, but because we figured out it was him who killed the other two champions, we simply assumed it was him. Only way is to find out…is to ask the fugitive himself!” Ash said, pointing to Giovanni.

Rick turned around, glaring at the man with eyes full of hatred. He clenched his fists, grinded his teeth and using his left, movable arm pointed at the man.

“Did you…?” Rick asked.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, did you say something?” Giovanni asked, mocking Rick once again.

“DID YOU?!” Rick yelled, boiling up. Rick could feel the blood running in his own veins, boiling like water and looking for a way out to become steam. Rick felt all the steam building in his body, felt like he was going to blow up.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the question. Try asking it properly.” Giovanni said, grinning.

“This *******….” Ash muttered, joining Rick in his anger.

“DID YOU KILL MY BROTHER BRENDAN BIRCH?!” Rick yelled out at the top of his lungs.

“Oh, why didn’t you just ask that in the beginning?” Giovanni asked.

Rick continued to stare at Giovanni until he got his answer. The others waited patiently for the response of the evil man.

“Fine I’ll tell you then…” Giovanni said, rolling his eyes.

While Giovanni was about to give him his answer, Gary slowly put a hand into his pocket and took a little machine out and hid it behind his back. Then he pressed a red button that was on the little trinket.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Three officer Jennies were standing outside beside their bikes. They were staring out the entrance to the underground mansion waiting for something.

Around the three women were hundreds of men in black armor and big clear shields. Each man had his or her pokemon standing beside them.

One Jenny started walking to the other side to where fifteen men were using their pokemon to dig. She gave them a signal to stop for a bit, so the men recalled their Gravelers, Sandslashs and other pokemon that were capable of digging.

Another Jenny was looking up, staring at the men flying on various flying pokemon in the air, getting ready for an aerial ambush.

They were already a couple of men sent inside to map out the area, in order make the ambush more successful. Yet, they still had not been able to reach them yet via walkie-talkie for some strange unknown reason.

“It’s getting late…” A Jenny said, looking at her wris****ch.

“They have been in there for a while now. Should I send some more men in there, big sis?” A second Jenny asked.

“Ash said he’ll take care of it. If they need help the alarm will go off and then-"

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The first Jenny ran over to her car to see a little red button on her steering wheel blinking. It indicated that a certain Gary Oak had requested backup.

“This is it men! Main squads one, two and three enter the tunnel! Aerial team stand-by and diggers continue to burrow into the ground!” The first Jenny ordered.

“YES MA’AM!” The men all yelled out.

Around forty-five men entered the sewer drain that Rick and Ren first entered through. The Jennies remained outside, preparing for a battle that might be brought outside.

“If Gary requested for backup, the enemy must be tough….” The first Jenny commented, putting her hand over her mouth in deep thought.

“Especially since Ash is also with him…” the second Jenny added.

“Don’t worry. Those two have to at least give whoever’s in there a good fight, and with all the men out here, we’ll just clean up what they couldn’t!” the final Jenny said confidently.

“I hope so…” the first Jenny responded.

“We have to have faith in those two men. They came a long way so they won’t just screw it up.” The second Jenny commented.

“Yes…we have to believe…” they said in unison.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Rick clenched his fists, waiting for an answer. He knew Giovanni was torturing him. He was stalling on purpose. Scratching his head, pretending to have an itch, saying his shoelace was undone. That ******* was probably laughing on the inside.

“Oi Ash. Doesn’t Giovanni seem out of his usual character? He never acted like this before…” Gary started whispering to his comrade.

“That strange, huge eye must’ve given him so much power, he lost all his fears and now he’s cocky like hell…but that’s just my guess…” Ash replied, impatient of waiting for the psychotic man to answer Rick’s question.

“He wants us to get angry. Don’t fall into what he wants. Stay calm guys…” Bill said.

“DAMN IT!!! ****ING *******! GIMME MY FREAKING ANSWER!!!!!!!”

“……………..” Bill was silent.

“Fine, since you asked so nicely…I’ll give you the answer you want. The answer is…..” Giovanni started.

The group listened intently. They were finally going to get the answer they’ve been waiting for all this time.

“No…....and yes……” he answered.

The group was shocked by his answer. How can you kill someone yet not kill them? Even Bill seemed baffled. Rick on the other hand was getting even more irritated.

“ARE YOU FREAKING MOCKING US AGAIN?! TELL ME THE REAL GOD DAMN ANSWER!” Rick yelled.

“Oh?” the man said, walking over to his throne-like chair that sat in the middle of the arena where both Rick and Ren had fought together against the madman in the beginning of this whole fiasco. “I’m not joking. They left this world, I assure you, yet they are not dead.” Giovanni said.

Rick, who had enough of this, started running towards the man, jumped over the water and landed on the platform where the evil man sat. He got up, and charged towards Giovanni at a fast speed, but suddenly out of nowhere, Rick was shot down by a jet of water.

Both Rick and the group were shocked by this. The blast of water appeared from out of nowhere, as if the air itself just shot water. Giovanni, on the other hand, looked amused. The man stood up and started walking over to Rick, who lay on the ground, unable to get up.

“Boy…I hope you know that you just leapt thirty feet from the platform you were on to where you are now? You didn’t even take a running head start…you simply took 3 steps and jumped. How intriguing…..” Giovanni stated.

((Continued on next post))

DKzM0mA
18th March 2006, 3:47 AM
“Crap…he’s right…Rick just jumped thirty feet!” Jiroo yelled, amazed.

“But that’s impossible. That defies the laws of physics! A human being cannot jump that far without some head start like a rocket boost.” Bill stated, very skeptical.

“Shi*t! Could it be?!” Ash thought to himself.

“Your future must be bright for him to choose you…I guess I must get rid of you so you do not interfere with my plans.” Giovanni said, reaching down for the boy with a hand surrounding with blue lightning. “You are of the two. Little kids destined to defeat me…how pathetic!” Giovanni struck down only to quickly jump high in the air before reaching the boy, dodging a blast of golden energy.

The group turned their heads towards the exit to see five men standing with a Dusclops in front of them.

The strange men wore black jump suits, with strange gas masks of some sort over their faces. They all had a strange looking gun attached to their belt and each had what looked like a katana hung over their backs.

“Who are those trainers?” Jiroo asked.

“Those aren’t regular trainers…” Gary started.

“Could it be possible that those five young trainers are the…” Bill started.

“Yep. They’re from the Royal 50. An organization of the strongest trainers from the three regions of Kanto, Johto and Hoenn. Fifty trainers with unbelievable battling skills. They are as strong as the Elite Four themselves, making Gym Leaders look like chumps. Gary and I used to be part of the association a couple years back, but we decided to leave the group after.” Ash explained.

“For them to be involved in something like this would mean that this guy is one of the highest priorities!” Jiroo exclaimed, turning his head to the criminal himself glaring at the five royal trainers.

“We of the Royal 50 hereby proclaim that the fugitive, Giovanni Gaien, will be arrested and will be sent into custody where he will face charges and will learn the date of his execution.” The one in the middle announced.

“Oh? What are you going to do, you supercilious fool?” Giovanni asked with a deep tone.

“Want me to come over there and blast your head off?” Another right to the one in the middle threatened with a deep harsh tone.

“Hmph…Want me to let you try?” Giovanni said sneering, accepting the threat.

“Let’s not get too hasty…” another royal warned.

“No way! He’s asking for it! Cy, use Hyper Beam!” the royal ordered.

The Dusclops named Cy, faced the man and blasted a huge blast of golden energy from its eye straight at the madman.

Giovanni was not afraid, despite the attack looking very powerful. Just as the golden light was about to hit the man, a black void appeared in front of him sucking the attack in, leaving Giovanni without a scratch. Both the royals and the group were shocked at what they just saw.

Ash then noticed something above the royals, making his eyes widen in shock.

“HEY!!! LOOK OUT!” he yelled.

The royal trainers looked up to see the black void shoot a Hyper Beam straight at them from above. The trainers and Dusclops dodged in the nick of time right before the attack impacted on the area they were standing on.

“What the hell?” Jiroo exclaimed.

“Was that my Hyper Beam?” the royal asked himself.

“Yes it was.” The madman answered. “I am now a pokemon, and becoming a pokemon grants me abilities. Super strength, super speed, super intelligence and…the power to warp the dimensions…” he explained.

“Is that how our Fire Blasts didn’t hit and how the Hyper Beam was re-directed?” Gary asked.

“Yes it was. I create a portal to another dimension so when you attack me, the attacks will simply go into the portal. Then I open another portal near you for your attacks to come out of. Simple really.” Giovanni explained.

“No wonder Charizard’s and Arcanine’s fire blasts didn’t make contact with this *******.…” Ash said, stunned at this ability.

“Yes. Speaking of your fire blast…you can have them back...” he said raising his hand.

Ash and the group looked up and their eyes widened. The black void had appeared above them and blasted all the fire blasts they fired before, all at once. A massive inferno shaped like a dragon headed right for them.

“Charizard!” Ash called out.

“Arcanine!” Gary yelled.

“FULL POWER FIRE BLAST!!!!” the two trainers yelled out in unison.

The large lizard pokemon, and the massive legendary canine pokemon launched two massive blasts of fire on the shape of a huge star and it collided with the dragon-like inferno causing a huge explosion.

Rick was shocked at the raw power that both Ash and Gary held in their hands. The massive fire explosion was incredible. Rick shifted his gaze over to the five royals who had just released all their pokemon. There were about sixteen pokemon out and all ready to battle.

“Darn…I guess I’ll just have to kill you later then….” Giovanni, said moving closer to Rick. “Tell the other ‘jewel’ that you cannot stop my reign over the lands. Everyday I grow stronger…but I am curious to see how you two turn out,” he said, putting his hand over chin. “Well then…until next time. Tell Ash to find me in Hoenn. I have business there,” he instructed.

Suddenly the man’s legs started melting into the ground, and soon his whole body followed. Rick tried to get his body to move, but he was unable to after everything he had just gone through, physically and emotionally.

“*******… don’t you dare run from me…” Rick said, panting.

“I’m not running away, foolish boy.” Giovanni said while melting in the ground. “Become stronger, stronger, and stronger. You have amused me today little man. I can’t wait to see how you will fare once you become ten times stronger…” he said as he completely melted into the ground.


Rick looked around to see the entire area filled with smoke, so it was impossible for the others to stop Giovanni from escaping the underground mansion. Suddenly the wind started being blown away. Rick turned his head to see a huge bird pokemon, probably bigger than himself, with a long strip of hair coming out of its head. Its massive wings were blowing the wind back with a gust attack. Ash flew on his Charizard to the platform where Rick’s immobile body lay.

“Rick, are you okay?” Ash asked, helping the boy up. He scanned the platform where Rick lay, but found no trace of the madman.

“He ran away…” Rick said, panting. “Well…he melted away…” He said, unsure of the real answer.

“……..He melted away….?” Ash asked, with a blank expression on his face while supporting Rick over his shoulders.

“I’m having a hard time believing it too….” Rick muttered, smirking.

Ash lifted Rick and placed him on Charizard’s back. He then got on, and the large lizard pokemon flew over to where the others were. Rick saw Jiroo holding the unconscious body that belonged to Ren.

“Hey Ash…” Rick muttered, looking down, disappointed in himself.

“Yeah Rick? What’s on your mind?” Ash asked.

“Sorry…about Ren. I wasn’t able to protect her.” Rick said, ashamed of himself.

“Don’t say sorry you little monkey. I should be thanking you! If it wasn’t for you, Ren would’ve died. I’m in your debt boy.” Ash said, smirking.

The Charizard flew through the hole it first came through and soon reached the outside world. It was almost dawn with the light of the sun barely visible over the horizon. All the officers left, but some had stayed behind gathering what evidence the SNEEZES and Giovanni had left behind.

Charizard flew the two in the direction of Vermillion city. Down below on the ground was the massive canine pokemon, Arcanine carrying the four passengers: Gary, Jiroo, Bill and the unconscious Ren who was being held by Jiroo. Both pokemon raced each other to the nearby city at great speeds.

“C’mon Gary! I thought Arcanine was way quicker than that! Looks the Gym Leader is getting rusty…” Ash mocked with the face of a fox.

“Oh really?” Gary muttered, rolling his eyes. “TRY CATCHING THIS! EVERYONE HOLD ON! ARCANINE, USE EXTREMESPEED!!!” Gary yelled loudly.

A white, wind like luminance started to surround the massive feet of the dog pokemon and suddenly the huge pokemon darted forward at a massive speed, leaving a sandstorm of dust wherever it passed.

Jiroo was having a very hard time holding on. His cheeks were reaching the back of his head with this speed. Bill was terrified, keeping his eyes closed, and Gary had a bigass smile on his face.

“GARY, STOP!!!! I DON’T HAVE LIFE INSURANCE!!!” Bill yelled, praying that Gary would speak, but alas, Gary was making childish cowboy ‘yee-haws’.

Ash and Rick looked down at the pokemon running, leaving destruction in its wake.

“………………” Both trainers were silent until Rick spoke.

“…………….What have you done…?” Rick asked, starting to fear Gary.

“……” Ash had no comment.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

In Vermillion City…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Ash and Bill both walked through the hospital hallways looking for room X-999. This baffled the two, for this room was only meant for uncontrollable people.

Finally after walking down some stairs into the basement, they found the room with the tag stating it was the room that they were looking for.

They both opened the large metal door to find that World War 3 had already commenced.

“**** YOU! THAT WAS THE LAST DONUT YOU LITTLE ****!” Ren yelled, throwing a chair at Rick.

“SCREW OFF! DONUTS ARE MY TERRITORY. BESIDES, YOU ****ING STOLE MY COOKIES YESTERDAY! YOU DRIED UP *****!” Rick countered, dodging the chair, and throwing a cup at Ren.

“****!” Rick yelled as he barely dodged another flying chair.

“OH MY ****ING…” Ren murmured as she jumped over the HOSPITAL BED that was thrown.

“YOU WANNA PLAY LIKE THAT?!”

“LET’S GO *****!”

“TOTO!!!!!”

“TORCH!!!!”

Both met and there was a massive explosion.

The smoke cleared and revealed the destruction.

Ash and Bill looked ahead and saw a fire in the middle of the room. They looked up and saw a huge hole in the ceiling. They looked to their right to the wall but…there wasn’t a wall there anymore. They then turned to their left to see Jiroo. He was hiding in the corner with blood dripping down from his head. He clutched his knees in fear, and hid in the darkness of the corner.

….It was a rather dark corner…


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Outside the hospital

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ash and Bill simply exited the hospital as if they had not seen anything at all.

“Well that was…” Ash stopped as he tried to think of the right word.

“Horrendous, appalling and slightly disturbing…” Bill finished.

“Well you can put it like that I suppose…” Ash replied, scratching his head.

Suddenly a car honked, and both men turned to see a red sports car driving in.

“Speaking of horrendous, appalling and slightly disturbing….” Ash said, rolling his eyes.

The car’s door flipped up, and out stepped Misty. She was wearing a white coat over a green tank top, as well as a black mini-skirt that barely reached her mid-thighs. Her long orange hair was let down instead of her usual tied up manner. She wore a little flower in her hair, and bright red lipstick.

“S'up babe,” Ash greeted. Suddenly the sky turned black, and a massive blue lightning bolt struck Ash, leaving a very terrified Bill.

“I don’t have time for you…” she said dangerously.

She walked around the large hole that Ash lay in and entered the hospital. Ash tried, getting up, but it seemed as if his nerves have been rearranged…

“Ash, you okay down there?” Bill asked.

“No ground type pokemon could’ve walked away from that attack…” Ash muttered.

“You’re lucky we’re in front of a hospital…” Bill laughed.

About fifteen minutes passed from there when Misty walked out with a bandaged up Jiroo over her shoulders. There she saw a blackened Ash and Bill leaning over her car.

“That hurt you know…” Ash mumbled.

“That’s what you get for talking to me like I’m a prostitute!” Misty said, stuffing Jiroo’s bandaged body in the trunk without noticing.

“You didn’t mind when I said a couple of nights ago when we were having s-"

“SHUT UP RIGHT THERE!” Misty roared, cutting Ash off.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Later….

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


“So Bill, are you staying here in Vermillion?” Ash asked while getting in the red sports car.

“Yes, this city was my original destination anyways. Rick and the rest were simply escorting me here.” Bill explained.

Bill looked around at the scenery of the city around them. The sun was setting on the large city, yet many people were still out, including the numerous children still playing with their pokemon. The city was a safe place to live, and an excellent place to raise kids without any fear. Despite the large population, everyone primarily knew each other.

“Looks like the Anne is coming in to the harbor. I didn’t realize it was that time of year…” Ash said.

Bill looked out into the ocean and soon spotted the large vessel sailing their way. The ship was much larger then it used to be.

“**** man, it’s at least five times bigger than it used to be when it sunk all those years ago…” Ash stated.

“They just re-built it a couple of years ago right?” Misty asked.

“Yes. After the Anne sunk all those years ago, they made no expense at making this ship indestructible. Weighing over 2000 tons, made out of pure titanium and it can carry up to twice its weight in cargo,” Bill remarked. “It’s unsinkable and unscratchable, but that is what they claimed about the last model. How did they make such a vessel?” he asked.

“Right now, I’m wondering how they get that hunk of metal to float.” Ash said, rolling his eyes. Bill laughed and Misty giggled.

“Well, it’s getting late, and my friend is probably wondering why I arrived so late. I’m off now. Best of luck to both of you,” he said, walking away.

Ash gave him a thumbs-up and Misty waved, yelling good-bye.

“Oh and Ash…” Bill stopped and said with his back turned. “Hoenn is a lot more dangerous then Kanto. Be careful,” he said, beginning to walk again.

Ash just stared at his retreating back with a serious face. He looked down, in deep thought. Misty watched Ash, baffled at what Bill had meant by that, and why Ash had such serious face on. She had been seeing that face more often lately, and it was a face that she did not like. It just wasn’t Ash.

Once Bill had walked out into the distance, out of sight, Misty started up the car, Ash fastened his seatbelt and they drove off in the direction of their home, Cerulean City.

Rain started to pour as they continued to drive. Misty would glance at Ash at times. Ash was staring out of the passenger seat window in deep thought.

“Hey Ash…” Misty started as she continued to steer.

“You wanna know what Bill meant by Hoenn is more dangerous than Kanto right?” Ash asked.

“Yeah…” Misty answered.

“Giovanni fled to the Hoenn region. I’m going there to find him, and end this. I don’t want to see another sad face…” Ash said.

“But…”

“Remember a couple years back when I was called in for the murder of Ray Mackenzie?” Ash asked. Misty nodded. She had gone with him to see if it was really true, if their champion had truly died.

“When we got there, I couldn’t bear to look at the family’s faces. The mother wouldn’t stop crying, and the boy, Jase, just stood near the dead body gripping a pokeball in his hand. I saw his face just for a second, and it felt like I lost you and Ren. His face was pale. He wanted to cry, I could see it all over his face.”
Misty remembered well. The officers had tried moving Jase away from the body, but he wouldn’t budge. The little child’s face was emotionless and pale. It was if it had never seen sunlight a day in his life.

“I heard the family couldn’t eat food for the next couple of days. The mother would prepare the meals, but the food would never be touched after being set on the table. They probably wouldn’t be able to sleep either…” Ash continued.

“That’s horrible…” Misty muttered, trying to keep her eyes from tearing up.

“Even Gary went through a little phase. He kept blaming himself, saying if he had stayed a couple more hours, things would’ve ended up different…”

Misty wanted to cry and jump in Ash’s arms, but she knew she couldn’t. For one, she was driving and two…she still had pride…

Soon the married couple arrived at their house, and parked their car in the garage. Misty then pulled out the key, and both sat there deep in thought.

“So when are you leaving?” she asked without looking at him.

“One week from now. Got to get my pokemon back into shape. Pikachu has been starting looking like a Raticate lately…” Ash said, laughing.

Misty joined his laughter. “So you’re taking your ‘all-star’ team?” Misty asked.

“Yep…” Ash answered, getting out of the car.

“This must be really serious then…” Misty added, also getting out the car.

Ash opened the door which led straight into the large house. “Yeah it is….I’ll be waiting upstairs…” Ash said.

“Waiting for what?” Misty asked.

“You know…” Ash teased, raising his eyebrows multiple times.

“If you run now, I’ll let that slide…” Misty threatened. Soon there was nothing but a cloud of dust where Ash once stood.

“I miss the old ‘pokemon-obsessed' Ash…” Misty mumbled. “Oh **** forgot the groceries in the trunk…” Misty cursed as she walked back.

“First my daughter gets sent into the hospital, my husband embarrasses/pisses me off and now he’s waiting for me upstairs. Time to bring out the hammock…..Nothing can make this day any worse….” she muttered as she opened the trunk.

“I know! This is all just a bad dream!” Misty said, smiling, but then she looked in her trunk to see a bandaged Jiroo bleeding from the head.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

END

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Well there you go. I reallie hoped you liked the chappie, and sorrie for the lateness. Damn Serebii kept dying on me in the middle of sending my fic to Pika so he can Beta it up…. Again, hope you enjoyed it^^ Also, once again, thanks to Pikachuism for betaing :D(is betaing a word O_o)

i am a ditto
18th March 2006, 3:48 AM
Im reading it first and its good!!!

Sike Saner
18th March 2006, 3:59 AM
“GARY, STOP!!!! I DON’T HAVE LIFE INSURANCE!!!” Bill yelled, praying that Gary would speak, but alas, Gary was making childish cowboy ‘yee-haws’.

Oh, there's an image... XD


“**** YOU! THAT WAS THE LAST DONUT YOU LITTLE ****!” Ren yelled, throwing a chair at Rick.

“SCREW OFF! DONUTS ARE MY TERRITORY. BESIDES, YOU ****ING STOLE MY COOKIES YESTERDAY! YOU DRIED UP *****!” Rick countered, dodging the chair, and throwing a cup at Ren.

XDDD My favorite thing about that part is the line "DONUTS ARE MY TERRITORY." XP


“S'up babe,” Ash greeted. Suddenly the sky turned black, and a massive blue lightning bolt struck Ash, leaving a very terrified Bill.

“I don’t have time for you…” she said dangerously.

*snort* That showed him.


“That hurt you know…” Ash mumbled.

“That’s what you get for talking to me like I’m a prostitute!” Misty said, stuffing Jiroo’s bandaged body in the trunk without noticing.

“You didn’t mind when I said a couple of nights ago when we were having s-"

“SHUT UP RIGHT THERE!” Misty roared, cutting Ash off.

OMG! XDDDDD


Ash opened the door which led straight into the large house. “Yeah it is….I’ll be waiting upstairs…” Ash said.

“Waiting for what?” Misty asked.

“You know…” Ash teased, raising his eyebrows multiple times.

“If you run now, I’ll let that slide…” Misty threatened. Soon there was nothing but a cloud of dust where Ash once stood.

XDDDD Amazing that Misty hasn't skinned him alive by now. XD Now that's what I call love and devotion - I'd have killed the guy for sure. XP


“I miss the old ‘pokemon-obsessed' Ash…” Misty mumbled. “Oh **** forgot the groceries in the trunk…”

XD I love that, her suddenly remembering the groceries...that sounds like something I would do.


The interaction between Ash and Misty was just priceless in this chapter. Quite entertaining, indeed. XD

DKzM0mA
18th March 2006, 4:10 AM
You read it already * is ashamed* Everyone was waiting so damn long and you come and read it in like 5 minutes XD You're a professional author and a slick guy XDD


“That hurt you know…” Ash mumbled.

“That’s what you get for talking to me like I’m a prostitute!” Misty said, stuffing Jiroo’s bandaged body in the trunk without noticing.

“You didn’t mind when I said a couple of nights ago when we were having s-"

“SHUT UP RIGHT THERE!” Misty roared, cutting Ash off.


Ash opened the door which led straight into the large house. “Yeah it is….I’ll be waiting upstairs…” Ash said.

“Waiting for what?” Misty asked.

“You know…” Ash teased, raising his eyebrows multiple times.

“If you run now, I’ll let that slide…” Misty threatened. Soon there was nothing but a cloud of dust where Ash once stood

Does anyone else get the urge to title these "HighLights of the chapter'? XDD

*Gives Sike a cookie*

Kyuubii
18th March 2006, 4:17 AM
Aww, man Sike and i am A ditto beat me... Anywho, wow this has to be your longest chapter yet and it was well worth the wait. It just better not take this long next time or it's back to the cliff.



‘WHAT THE FUC*K DID JUST SAY?!” Rick yelled out furiously once again.


Ooh, Rick dropped the F-bomb.

Also, good job Pikachuism, ever since you've been helpin' DKz the grammar has much improved.

P.S. Misty x Ash = smex

P.S.S. The eye Giovanni has reminded me of the eye from the Soul Calibur games, any relation?

i am a ditto
18th March 2006, 4:22 AM
I reset this page every minute and its i am A ditto not i am ditto
DKZ this is going to be a looonng {and good} story

Now that I think of it,why dont we save our "first post" muffins and cookies as honor and
devoshun<{cant spell} towards DKZ story.Like this:
http://membres.lycos.fr/cigale76/picto/photos%20aliments/muffin%20son.jpg
Are you with me? If you are grab a cookie!:>

Ditto