View Full Version : The New Trainer (Rated PG for language in the future)
10th October 2005, 2:21 AM
Yes, behold, my first fan fiction. Well, my other non-completed one got deleted, anyways. Anyways, as you all wanted me to in my old one, I have greatly improved on my grammer, detail, paragraphing sets, ect. So here is my newest (and hopefully better) fanfiction, titled "The New Trainer". Enjoy, and remember, please reveiw to tell me what I can do to become a better writer.
EDIT: Oh wait, it didn't get deleted...oh well, this ones better then the other one. and if you want to see my other hidiouse one, go to my profile and click one "Find all threads made by Persian". But i'm warning you, it's so horrible that your eyes will melt. RED MY OLD ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!"
Chapter One: The new trainer
"Big sister, big sister, wake up, wake UP! Josie wants you to wake up!" A small voice said. These words had came out of the lips from a small girl, with blond hair, a yellow dress, and brown eyes.
The little girl was shaking a plop on a bed back and forth, over and over and over again, screaming "Kikki, Josie wants you to wake up!", and such other things. "Kiko, not now, i'm not in the mood to hang out with Josie, maybe later on..." Another voice mumbled.
The voice had came from something underneath the covers of the bed, that the other small girl was shaking. "No, Josie doesn't want to play with you, she wants to start pokemon training with you, she told me so!"
The small girl yelled, in a worried tone. Suddenly, a person jumped from under the covers, revealing herself to be a female girl, looking about 12 years old. She had messy light brown hair, and crystal like- brown eyes to match.
"Holy crap, I totally forgot! Pokemon training starts today!" The 12 year old girl shreiked. She sprung out of bed, and darted over to her closet. It was full of clothes and junk, like any other closet would be full of.
She took a pair of light blue jeans, and a short sleeved, light blue t-shirt. "Bye sis, love ya!" She said fastly to the little girl. She ran completly dowstairs, and then darted into the bathroom to change.
(And since i'm of corse not going to give any "details", i'll skip to when she comes out)When she came out, she was wearing the chlothes she had picked out, except her light brown hair was fully brushed, and it was tied into a pontytail.
She put the hairbrush on the living room coffe table, and sat down on the couch. She grabbed a pair of white socks, and put them on. She ran into the kitchen, and sat down at the table. Her mother, (curly brown hair, green eyes, blue dress, dark blue high-heels)was at the table, mindlessly flipping the pages of the newpaper.
The moment was sighlent. The girl waited a few minutes, hopelessly trying t catch her moms attention. after a few seconds, she sighed. "Mom, you DO know that today is my twelth birthday, right?"
The girl asked, widening her brown eyes. "Yes Kikki, you've been begging for me to let you start pokemon training for weeks now." Her mother said, not even happening to glance at her. Her green emeald like eyes were still focused on the large black and white newspaper.
"Oh mom, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, can I start pokemon training?! Alyssa already started two years ago, when I should of started, but you said I was too young to start, and now i'm TWO YEARS behinde!
And I promised Josie that id'e give her a Skitty when I got one someday, but I can't do that unless I start pokemon training!
I've already packed stuff in my backpack, i've been studying pokemon training in books, and i've been watching pokemon training programs! I know I ready to start I-" Kikki (the girl) was interuppted.
"Fine! If you think your so perfect and ready to train. Go see your father after you've gotten the stuff you've packed, he might have a spare Eevee lying around or something. But Kikki, trust me, pokemon training is a huge responibility! It takes lot's of confidence, training, and lot's of love for your pokemon to just trust you!" Her mother yelled.
Her mother layed the newspaper on the kitchen table, and walked over to a see-through stain glass case. She opened it, and took a red and white ball from it, and then closed it. "Rose, come on out."
She said, gentely tossing the pokeball. It hit the ground, and then sprung open. A flash of a beam of red light shot out forming a shape. It was so bright, that it nearly "blinded" Kikki and her mother. A pechish fox with nine tails was revealed, a ninetales of corse.
"Rose here started out as a Vulpix Kikki. A small, pranching vulpix. At first, I showed Rose so much love that it was unreal, but she still didn't trust me. Even after countless times of hugging, countless victorious battles, and such. But one day, after yet another plain victorious battle, I was blinded by a blue flash of light.
Rose grew bigger, changed color, and had grown nine long, swishing tails. That's right, she evoulved into a Ninetales. Of corse, pokemon get more mature as they grow older, so soon after another two months, Rose finally began to warm up with me, and we mixed together like peanut butter and jelly..." Her mother explained, stroking Rose. The Ninetales purred with pleasure swishing it's nine tails harmlessly.
"Whoa...." Kikki said, almost as deep as a whisper. "Well, can't I just ask dad to give me a pokemon with a trustive nature?" Kikki asked. Her mother sighed, still stoking Rose. "Kikki dear, it's not that simple. A pokemon has to open it's trust to you after you've given it lot's of love." Her mother said. "Well, I'm gonna go grab my packed backpack, and go get my pokemon from dad. See-ya!" Kikki replied, getting out of her chair.
She walked back upstairs, and opened the door to her room. Everything was just as it last was, except her little sister has happily bouncing up and down on Kikki's bed. "Hey, get off there! Your going to wreck it!"
Kikki yelled. Her little sister immeaditly stopped jumping, and she sat on the bed, sending a small blink to Kikki. Kikki took a deep breath, and walked over to her shelf. She grabbed an orange backpack, and walked back to the door. "Sis, mom finally said I could start pokemon training, so I have to go away.
But I promise, i'll call you guys on the phone every day, and someday, I WILL get that Skitty for you." Kikki said. "But...i'll miss you..." Her little sister sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek.
She ran over and hugged Kikki, fully crying. Kikki smiled, and hugged her little sister. "It's okay, i'll call you on the phone everyday. And every once in a great while, I promise that i'll come visit you.
Okay?" Kikki asked. Her little sister looked up at Kikki and sniffed, nodding. "Okay then...but can I follow you around until you get your starter and have to leave the house?"
Her little sister asked. "Umm...sure, I guess.." Kikki answered. Her little sister smiled, and they both went downstairs.
Okay, I KNOW that was extremley short and crappy, but I promise, I will add more too it, and it's crappyness will begin to slowly go away. And i'm currently looking for some charecters to join Kikki on her pokemon journey (Yes, that would be a main charecter!) So if you want to, tell me a breife description of your charecters name, his/her looks, his/her pokemon, (But they'll start out with just one, and it can't be a legendary. What kind of begginer trainer would have a legendary? o.o)But if you give me a full list of the charecters pokemon, then they'll start out with the first one on the list, and lowly catch all the other ones on the list! You also need to tell me yours charecters personality, their age, and their gender. You WILL receive credit and copyright in each chapter of the story, and please note that I AM ONLY ACCEPTING TWO CHARECTERS TO JOIN KIKKI'S POKEMON JOURNEY. Thank you, ta ta for now!
11th October 2005, 9:15 PM
Chapter Two: The World Famouse Eevee Scientist
"Mom, do you think that dad has a spare Eevee or something that I could receive as a starter pokemon?" Kikki asked her mother, as soon as she had reached the slippery tiles of the kitchen, along with her little sister.
"Kikki, do you really think your father would obey that?" Her mother asked. "Nine! Ninetales!" Rose screeched, in agreement.
"Well mom, I NEED a starter pokemon, or else I can't begin pokemon training!" Kikki complained in reply. "Well, that's what Professer Oak is for." She said to Kikki.
"Yeah, but Professer Oak only has dumb pokemon!" Her little sister shouted, waving her arms in the air. "Yeah!" Kikki said back in agreement.
"I don't want a Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle! Their all too boring! But take example of a Pikachu, an Eevee, or mabye even a Skitty! Their all much more exciting, and you cooperate better with your pokemon the more you like it!" Kikki added.
"Fine, fine! But when your father says no, don't come crying to me. I tried to tell you." Her mother reminded. "Oh, we won't be crying!" Kikki and her little sister yelled at the same time.
They began to sprint torwards the garage, where Kikki's father had worked, as "The World Famouse Eevee Scintist". Or, Professer Broustrat.
The garage wasn't full of cars and brooms like any normal one was. Instead it was full of test tubes, cages, counters, holders, injections, tanks, goggles, coats, gloves, and all sorts of nicknaks. In the small metal cages, were Eevees. Lots, and lots of eevees. Though some were Vaporeons, Jolteons, and Flareons, and even Espeons and Umbreons, but only a few. In the garage was a man. He had scruffy brown hair, goggles, a pure white lab coat, gloves, and tall boots. He was stroking an Eevee, while injecting it with something at the same time.
When Kikki and her little sister opened the garage door, they saw the man. This was Kikki's Father, Professer Broustrat, the world famouse eevee scientest. Professer Brou, for short. Professer Brou was a very famous Eevee scientist. Everyday, he would wake up early, and experiment with Eevees by injecting them with things that were perfectly safe to use. Some injections included an ingredient that would make them evoulve, and some made them have no effect to a poison sting by an Arbok. Every injection was different. "Umm....dad?" Kikki asked. The man turned his head to Kikki. "Oh! Umm....yes Kikki?" He asked.
"Dad...you DO remember that it's my first day of pokemon training...right?" Kikki asked. "Yes, of course!" He answered. "Dad...I was wondering...do you have a spare eevee around, that I can use for a starter pokemon?" Kikki asked, shyly. "Shouldn't you go to Professer Oak to get either a Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle?" Her father asked, slightly confused. "No dad, I don't want any of those, I don't like Charmanders, Squirtles, OR Bulbasaurs!"
Kikki said. "Well...it's not an Eevee, but I DO have a Poochyena that I havn't experimented on yet..." Her father said, rubbing his chin. "Oh please dad, can I PLEASE have that one?" Kikki begged. "Well...I suppose...but a pokemon isn't just a toy that you can throw up in the air, and huggle all day!
A pokemon is a living, breathing thing, and it needs to be treated with respect!" Her father reminded her. "I promise!" Kikki stated. Her father smiled, and walked over to her, with a pokeball. "Remember, treat it with respect, and name it whatever you want." He said.
Kikki held the pokeball in her hands. She had never felt anything like it before in her life. "Thanks!" She once again, running back into the kitchen with her little sister.
"Wow Kikki, your so lucky! I wanna start pokemon training too, and get a pokemon just like you!" Her little sister exclaimed, jealouse. "Well someday, you will. And remember what I said earlier, we'll team up as partners then." Kikki smiled.
Her hand touched the cold knob of the wodden door, and it opened. Kikki walked back into the kitchen, to give her mother one last farewell, but the kitchen had changed.
Everything WAS still the same-the same coffe maker on the counter, the same wodden table with the flower vase in the center, but her mother wasn't there...
"Kikki, mommy went to go take her nap!" Her little sister yelled. "Well...then i'll just call her tomorrow...I mean...It IS okay...right?" Kikki asked herself. "Yes." Her little sister nodded. "Well, i'll tell dad to tell her then..." Kikki mumbled.
"Okay then...." Her little sister sniffed, as yet another tear rapidly rolled down her cheeck. Kikki frowned, as she almost cried herself at her little sisters odd reaction.
Kikki once again threw her arms around her younger realitive. "Oh...i'll miss you too...but I have to go. My time has arrived to become a pokemon trainer." Kikki said.
"But-but....i'll m-miss you..." Her little sister burst into an explosion of tears, as she started crying.
Kikki frowned, and reached her hand down. She scruffed up her sisters hair a bit playfully, and waved, without saying anything but a whispered "Good-bye...".
Her little sister sniffed, and waved back. Kikki stepped foot outside, where it would finally begin. Right here. Right here in Littleroot Town. Her pokemon adventure had finally arrived after many years of waiting...
I'm currently looking for some charecters to join Kikki on her pokemon journey (Yes, that would be a main charecter!) So if you want to, tell me a breife description of your charecters name, his/her looks, his/her pokemon, (But they'll start out with just one, and it can't be a legendary. What kind of begginer trainer would have a legendary? o.o)But if you give me a full list of the charecters pokemon, then they'll start out with the first one on the list, and lowly catch all the other ones on the list! You also need to tell me yours charecters personality, their age, and their gender. You WILL receive credit and copyright in each chapter of the story, and please note that I AM ONLY ACCEPTING TWO CHARECTERS TO JOIN KIKKI'S POKEMON JOURNEY. Thank you, ta ta for now!
12th October 2005, 11:15 PM
Note: whenever pokemon talk in pokelanguage, I put (Type in what pokemon is saying here!).
Chapter Three: Viz
Kikki took a deep breath, and sighed. She slimly nodded to herself, and smiled. "Veridian Forest...here I come!" She giggled to herself, flooded with excitment. "But...which way is it...?" She asked herself, with a puzzled face.
Suddenly, the sound of scraping shoes caught Kikki's ears. She looked around, but saw nothing. Suddenly, a small girl ran up to her. "Kikki, daddy said not to forget this!!!" The small girl yelled.
"Sis, I want to go!" Kikki moaned. Her little sister held out her hand, which had a small red device. Kikki reached her hand out, and confusly took it. She turned it sideways, starring at it. "What is it?" She asked.
"Daddy called it a pokedex, or something. He said if you point it at a pokemon, it collects data about it." Her little sister replied. "Well, thanks..." Kikki put it in her pocket.
Her little sister then ran back off, torwards home. Kikki then began to walk forward, turning her attention to a few signs saying the Viridian Forest was right ahead.
"Okay, here it goes...my first time seeing my...whatever dad gave me...a poochy something he said..." Kikki thought, gripping the pokeball in her hand. Suddenly, a rustle was heard. Kikki looked around. "What the..?! Where am I...?" The scenery was different.
The scenery wasn't a concrete jungle anymore. Instead, bright lights gleamed on the trees and grass surrounding her. "This isn't Pallet Town..." She thought to herself. "Wait a sec...this is the Veridian Forest!" She shreiked to herself.
A Pidgey landed in front of her, cawing loudly but friendly, welcoming her to the forest. Kikki smiled, and reached down to pet the small bird. It purred with pleasure, as it's soft feathers were storked. Kikki smiled, and began to walk again.
"Pidgey!" The small bird flew over to Kikki, and perched on her shoulder. "Pid, Pidgey!" It chirped, not wanting Kikki to leave. "Aww...sorry, I can't stay here, I need to find my way out!" Kikki smiled at the bird. "Pid pid pid pidgey pidgey! (I can show you the way out!)" It chirped, flying around her head.
"What did it say...?" Kikki couldn't understand what the Pidgey was saying, she didn't speak pokemon...
The Pidgey flapped it's wings, and pushed itself off of Kikki's shoulder, tugging her shirt with his beak. Kikki took two wobbley steps over to where the Pidgey was guilding her, confused.
"Where are you taking me?" Kikki asked. The small bird chirped two times after releasing Kikki's shirt, and began to fly a few centimeters away from her, chirping like crazy. Kikki was almost positive it was trying to tell her something...
"Does it want me to follow it?" Kikki asked herself. She smiled at the Pidgey. "Do you want me to follow you or something?" Kikki asked it. The Pidgey nodded rapidly, chirping even louder. "Okay then...lead the way!" She told it. Then, the Pidgey began to fly off, as Kikki followed it from behind.
As they walked/flew, Spearows flew from above the sky, as Caterpies and Weedles muched on grasses as if the human girl wasn't even there.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Umm...whatever you are, can you wait a sec?" Kikki asked the Pidgey. It chirped in agreement, and landed on a treebranch, high in a tree. Kikki reached into her pocket, and pulled out the red device that her sister had given her earlier, the so called "Pokedex".
"Daddy called it a pokedex, or something. He said if you point it at a pokemon, it collects data about it." Kikki remembered her sister say. She opened the small computerized object, and pointed it at the Pidgey. "Pidgey, the Flying type pokemon. This bird can create gust storms hich can reach winds over 20 miles per hour." The computerized voice said.
"Kikki nodded at it, and folded up the red device, placing it safely back in her pocket. "Okay, Pidgey, thanks. We can go now." Kikki said. The Pidgey spread it's wings and then once again, took flight.
After several minutes, the Pidgey took land again, and panted, extremley tired of flying. "Aw, you tired?" Kikki asked, reaching her arm out to it. "You can perch on my arm again, if you want." She said.
"Pi..pika...pikachu..." Something growled. The Pidgey suddenly quickly flew over, and landed on Kikki's shoulder, quivering. "What's the matter, Pidgey?" Kikki asked it. Suddenly, a small yellow mouse-like pokemon flung itself out of a bush, growling sharply at Kikki and the Pidgey, it's tail up in the air. "What is that thing?!" Kikki asked.
She forced her shaking hand the rip the pokedex out of her pocket. It unfolded, and she aimed it at the yellow mouse. "Pikachu, the electric pokemon. This pokemons energy is stored in packets in it's cheecks it releases this energy at the foe when it is angry, or frightened." It said. Kikki put the pokedex back in her pocket.
The Pikachus red orbs on it's cheecks began to spark, and tiny bolts struck the Pidgey, sending it flying to the ground screaming, and then fainting. "HEY!!! THAT WAS MY FRIEND!!!" Kikki screamed angryly. It's cheecks began to spark again, and it looked Kikki, straight in her quivering eye.
"Okay then..." Kikki said frightened. She took the pokeball off of her belt. "Go, Poochy something!" She grabbed the ball, but nothing happened. Kikki shook the ball around furiously, but nothing happened. "Umm...how do you work this thing?" She asked herself.
"PIKACHU!!" The Pikachu screeched, knocking the ball out of her hands with it's slamming tail. The pokeball hit the lush green grass, and it opened, revealing a blinding flash of light. The light cleared, making a shape. The lights shape turned into a real one, and a small, dog like pokemon was revealed.
Kikki swung open her pokedex for the third time. "Poochyena, the Dark type pokemon. Poochyena is a tough dog pokemon, who gets angered easily." The pokedex said. "Oh, it was Poochyena!" Kikki reminded herself.
"Pi pika pi!" The Pikachu shreiked at it. The Poochyena growled, and charged after the Pikachu, sinking it's needle sharp fangs into it's tail. The tail began to sprak, and it sharply shock the Poochyena. The small black dog was sent flying back, and it slammed into a tree.
The Poochyena growled again. "Poochyena, attack!" Kikki yelled. The Poochyena slowly got up, sevearly hurt, but still having the will to fight. It charged torwards the Pikachu again.
The Pikachu's keen eye caught the sight of the Poochyena, which was coming after it. The Pikachu sprung up it's powerful hind legs, and leaped into the air, causing the Poochyenas tackle to miss. "Poochyena, tackle it when it falls down!" Kikki shouted.
The Pikachu of corse couldn't fly, nor stay in the air, so it began to fall head first. The Poochyena darted after the falling Pikachu, and arrived just on time, smashing it with a powerful tackle.
The Pikachu was sent flying down, and slammed onto the ground, making dust fly as it did. The Pikachu all of a sudden layed down, and closed it's eyes, as if it were going to sleep.
"What's it doing?" Kikki asked. Suddenly, there was yet, another blinding flash of light, and the Pikachu began to turn into a light itself. Suddenly, it's tail grew larger, it's ears grew fatter, and it got a bit fatter. The light cleared, and there was a Orange mouse like pokemon where the Pikachu used to be. Kikki pulled out her Pokedex again, and aimed it at the orange mouse.
"Raichu, the evoulve form of Pikachu. Raichu is extremly powerful when angry, it can shock a foe with over 10,000 volts." The pokedex said. "Ummm....what does evoulve mean?" Kikki asked herself. She scanned though her pokedex, and clicked on the Evoulvion page.
"Evoulvion is when a pokemon gains enough battle experience to transform into something more powerful." The pokedex read, Kikki slipped it back into her pocket. "Poochyena, be careful, that Raichu's powerful!" Kikki warned. "Poochy, poochyena!" The small black dog said, nodding. Okay, Poochyena, ummm....do that multiply thingy to distract it!" Kikki said.
"Poochy? (What?)" Poochyena asked. "Dangit...I know I seen it on T.V. before...a pokemon makes copies of it'self..." Kikki thought. "Oh yeah, Double Team!" Kikki yelled outloud. The Poochyena began to flash, and it made copies of itself. They all danced around the Raichu, confusing it.
"Chu?" It asked. Kikki pulled a pokeball from her belt. Now would be a good time to catch it, since it was distracted. "Pokeball, GO!!!" She screamed, and threw the ball at Raichu. It sprung open, as the Raichu rapidly spun around and saw the suprise attack. It disapeared into the ball, and the small red and white ball began to wiggle on the forest floor.
It stopped wiggling after a matter of few seconds. "YES!!" Kikki shreiked, walking over to the ball and picking it up. "I caught a Raichu!" She yelled happily. She quickly sprung around, still remembering the fainted Pidgey. It lifted it heavy eyelids slowly, awaking from it's faint. At the sight of Kikki, it jumped up happily, chirping.
"Don't worry, I took care of the Pikachu." Kikki smiled at the Pidgey. "I caught it." The Piggeys eyes lit up when Kikki had said the words "I caught it.". It bounced over to Kikki's belt, and took a pokeball off. He nudged it torwards Kikki. She picked up the ball and smiled.
"What are you trying to tell me now?" She asked. "Pid pid pid pid pidgey! (I want you to catch me!)" The Pidgey replied. It stole the ball from Kikki, and threw it at himself using his talons. The Pidgey was sucked into the ball. Kikki took it, and released the Pidgey from the ball.
"You want me to catch you?" Kikki asked it. "Pidgey!" It nodded rapily, chirping. "Okay then...Kikki smiled sharply, a keen look in her eye. "Pokeball, go!" She threw it at the Pidgey, and it was once again suck into the red and white orb. Kikki picked up the ball, and put it on her belt. "Thanks for guilding me, buddy." She whispered. Kikki picked up Poochyenas pokeball. "Poochyena, return!" Kikki aimed it at him. "Poochy poochyena!" It cried happily as it was also sucked into a ball. Kikki clipped that ball on her belt too. She walked into the small passage in front of her, which was the house that connected the Viridian forest with Pewter City.
"Pweter City, here I come!" She balled up her fist, and ran inside.
End of Chapter Three
12th October 2005, 11:17 PM
Just as some general advice, if you're just typing this in the reply box, don't. Use a word processor with spellcheck. The quality of your work vastly improves, and you won't have to do what you did just now. Save it, work on it later, and take your time.
12th October 2005, 11:20 PM
Nice chappy! The oringinality is good. I think you should add a boy in. His starter should be a dragon type like a Bagon/Dratini or a Spheal. The boy's personality is up to you. Keep up the work! I like it!
King of the Munchlax
13th October 2005, 12:50 AM
I found a few grammer mistakes such as:
The girl asked, widening her brown eyes. "Yes Kikki, you've been begging for me to let you start pokemon training for weeks now." Her mother said, not even happening to glance at her. Her green emeraldlike eyes were still focused on the large black and white newspaper.
"Oh mom, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, can I start pokemon training?! Alyssa already started two years ago, when I should of started, but you said I was too young to start, and now I'm TWO YEARS behind!
Also many of the I's need to be capitalized.
Description is very good. I got a image in my head of what was going on. Length was fairly good. Characters are good and make me remeber some characters I have read about in other fics. This nice and easy to read. Pretty orginal in my view(I love Journey fics). Over all 7.5/10 and 4/5 stars from me.
13th October 2005, 9:12 PM
Thanks guys! ^^ And don't worry celestial, Kikki teams up with a cold hearted boy name Yuri in a few chapters. He has a really tough flareon named Vealet.
13th October 2005, 9:25 PM
You are mising some grammer, punctuation, and dialog errors, just work on that it is fine to say the least.
14th October 2005, 1:18 AM
Edit: Chapter three had been finished.
14th October 2005, 4:56 AM
Um. The word ' the' is spelt wrong in ur sig. u wrote 'teh'
14th October 2005, 5:09 AM
Only read the first chapter. It has potential, but please keep in mind the spelling and grammar checker that are begging for attention in that little back corner. Also:
(And since i'm of corse not going to give any "details", i'll skip to when she comes out)
Don't insert those little authors notes inside the chapter. It makes it look very unprofessional, and draws away readers.. It also happens to be one of my pet peeves.
14th October 2005, 8:50 PM
dolphinxx, I know. It's perpously a typo.
30th November 2005, 4:23 AM
Chapter Four: The battle
Standing on a rock, the 12 year old overjoyed female plunged her arms up in the air, yelling with joy. "We made it!"
She put her arms back down, admiring the veiw of the city. Smiling victorious to herself one more time, she poached down from the rock, and continued, walking down the pathed trench, her tennis-shoes scraping againest the crunching orange leaves.
"Hmm...what will I do first...?" She asked herself. "I know! I'll go train Poochyena! And Pidgey, and Raichu!" She told herself aloud. She walked forwards, dodging trees from the small treed area. She stepped foot into the real city...for the first time of her life. Well, maybe the third time.
Her father had always been asking her to make deliveries, fetch deliveries, contact another scientists, purchase a few potions super speedy from the cause of an experiment went wrong. But rarley, for Rose and Mom always watched the Eevees closely.
"I never veiwed the city like this for some reason before..." Kikki thought to herself, the breeze playing with her tanish hair. "I wonder why..." She pulled a red and white orb off her belt, and threw it into the cloudless blue sky. It sprung open, revealing a smokey colored dog, Poochyena. It swished it's tail panting, waiting for something to happen...
"I guess I might as well name you...how about...Fred?" She asked. The poochyena growled in discust. "Martha?" Poochyena barked vicously at Kikki, more as a snarl. "What? What am I doing wrong?"
"Flar!" Kikki spun around, and without a word, her eyes caught the sight of a scared and scraped, cut and slashed dirty and dusty red fox like thing with a puffy yellow body. "Vealet, hault!" Another voice commanded. The shadows changed shape, as one a a human being formed...
A blonde haired boy with a straitjacket, bangs covering his eyes with jeans, sneakers, and a cold look emerged up to the growling flareon. Poochyena wasn't growling at her...he was growling at the thing behind her!
Kikki backed away, a mean look on her face, balling up one fist. "Your not going to hurt me! I'll blow you away in one wipe!" She warned, trembling. "What's a two hour old trainer going to do to me? Afterall, espicially if it's a girl."
The boys bangs blocked it, but he was probably rolling his eyes. "What do you know about me?" Kikki face changing to a worried expression her fist returning to normal hands.
"Quiet little girl, i've been watching you. Blow me away in one wipe, eh? That excuse for a pokemon you have there is probably only reached level seven! While look at Vealet here...we've been training for 4 years."
"Four years?!" Kikki shreiked. This was no ordinary boy...
"You heard me, or are you deaf, another little problem of yours?" The boy teased. Poochyena bared his fangs, his eyes glowing a deep red color, as the fur on his back rose up. The Flareon gave a short growl, and swiped it's paw at the powerless dog.
Poochyena yelped, flying back hitting a bench, falling down, whimpering in pain. Kikki, not knowing how to speak at the moment, reached torwards her belt, pulling out anoter pokeball. She didn't throw it...she just let go, as gravity pulled it down.
It sprung open, a raichu with sparking cheecks snarled at Kikki. Kikki took a few steps back. "He's the enemy, not me!" She reminded. The Raichu turned to the boy and the flareon, "Vealet", and gave a big blast of electric energy at Vealet. Vealet yawned as the energy hit him, Raichu stopping with a puzzled look on how his attack did no effect...
Vealet sent out a stream of flames as the boy smirked. The burning embers hit Raichu, and he shreiked in how much effect it had...he suddenly fell to the ground in a faint.
"How...how did you DO that?!" Kikki asked, once again tremling. "Level seven." The boy coldly laughed, walking off. He reached five feet and stopped, pulling something out of his pocket. He tossed an orange and blue ball to Kikki-she caught it. None said anything, they just walked in seperate directions.
To be continued....
(Yuri, the boy, is copyrighted to a school friend named Jalen. He doesn't even know i'm using his charecter! ^-^; )
1st December 2005, 12:40 AM
Chapter Five: Michi
"That was....odd....." Kikki thought to herself, staring at the orange and blue ball in her hand. "Wonder what pokemon is inside...." She smirked from curiosity.
"Maybe....um...Bulbasaur?" She questioned herself. The only pokemon she known were Eevee, Umbreon, Espeon, Jolteon, Vaporeon, Flareon, Poochyena, Pikachu, Raichu, and Pidgey...
"And...why is this ball so oddly colored?" She asked herself in thought. "Well then...maybe it's special? Only one way to find out..."
She took a deep breath about to throw the ball in the air releasing...whatever was inside.
Kikki looked around, hearing something scream. But nothing was around except her...She shrugged and threw the ball.
"Whoa!" She caught the ball. She sighed, and began to walk in the direction of which her ears were telling her to go.
"*sigh*.....I thought pokemon training would be fun.....not like this!" She suddenly fell down purposley, and crawled into the bushes, knowing that the noise was jus in front of her.
"Ow!" The vines and thorns scratched at her skin, causing it to cut and bleed. Dust got all over her, as she also passed a few spiders. She then sat down, and watched....
A scraped and cut flareon! It was,,,attacking this one dinosaur like thing with a leaf on it's head.
"Ikushu....your coming back you fool...." She all of a sudden perked up at a english voice...she looked seeing the same boy as before!
"What the heck is he doing with that...thing?" She asked herself. The plant dinosaur creature bled all over, screaming from the pain the flareon was causing.
"Bay! Bay!" It screamed, trying to shake the flareon off of it's back. "Hmmm....." Kikki reached into her pocket, and once again pulled out her pokedex, and aimed it at the plant like dinosaur. "Bayleef, the plant type pokemon. This pokemon has extremley long and strong vines."
Vealet suddenly let go and snarled at the bushes.....
"Oh crap, my pokedex gave my hide away...." Kikki trembled, as Vealet inched torwards the bush, the boy following behind. "I need to do something...." She gripped her hand and pulled off a pokeball from her belt. To her suprise....it was the orange and blue one.
"Well...nows my chance to test this thing out!" She thought to herself. She slammed the pokeball nto the ground, as it revealed a weird orange shaped light.....
The light faded as the rest of the sparkling magic shook off, revealing a small creature that Kikki had seen before.
"Vee?" It asked. "Hey, it's an Eevee...." Kikki looked at it, and then shot her head back to Vealet and the boy whom where not far away from the bush. Kikki's eyes grow wide with fear, as the Eevee looked around confused. "Headbutt!" Kikki suddenly screamed by force.
The Eevee sprinted out of the bush, and rammed Vealet in the head, flying back. The hard skull of Vealet's had been too strong. The Eevee's head felt like it was spinning in extreme pain, the impact was so much that half of it's hit points had been drained and it had gotten confused.
"Oh crap....." Kikki gulped to herself. But Poochyena, Raichu, and Pidgey didn't stand a chance before, how would they now? Vealet snarled at the Eevee, and leapt at it, smoothly and gracefully.
The Eevee got up but not a flash after that, the Flareon struck it like lightning, and it was pinned to the ground, it's bones being crushed. The eevee shreiked, and slashed Vealet on the face as defence.
Vealet was pulled back a bit by a tiny sting of pain, as three wounds in a line/row layed across Vealets face. Vealet was too angry, he bit into the eevees neck and dug it's claws into the eevees chest, causing the Eevee to be paralyzed by pain.
"No..." Kikki shreiked to herself, quivering. Vealet's big ears perked up and remembered the bush and leapt at it even faster then it had with the Eevee. Kikki closed her eyes waiting to be sevearly hurt....
But nothing happened...she then heard a snarl, followed by a few ripping sounds. Kikki opened her eyes, seeing the dinosaur plant jump in front of the bush, stopping the flareon from going into it. The plant pokemon flung it's head and a leaf sharper then a razor flung off it's head, a new one growing back in seconds.
Vealet was flung back a bit by the attack, but he was fire, and the plant was plant, so he could easilly ignite it with a fire spin attack......
9th December 2005, 4:31 PM
i like it persain. its pretty good.
11th December 2005, 5:29 PM
A few spelling mistakes here and there, but a good story. If your still accepting characters here is one you could use.
Pokemon:Charmander, Beedrill, Poliwag (you can choose the next 3 pokemon)
Appearance: Average height, onyx coloured hair. Blue eyes. Wears white head band with a pokeball symbol on it, black t-shirt, black baggy jeans and white running shoes.
Personality: He looks like a rough person but is kind and strong physically. Acts before thinking about the consequences of his actions. Cares deeply for his pokemon and close friends.
Home Town: Pewter City.
1st January 2006, 11:33 PM
Okay, thanks for the tips guys! ^^ And i'll be sure to add Nate!
2nd January 2006, 12:07 AM
Nice work on this here! Is Yuki evil or does he like Kikki or something? This fic has some originality, that's what makes it interesting. Are you going add shipping in this fic? It seems like it after this chapter. Maybe you should make Nate specialize in a type if you're going to use him. Then again, maybe not. Since I reviewed your fic, can you review mine? Just click on my avatar and then go to threads created by me. My fic's calld "A Hoenn Adventure". TTFN!
EDIT: Please call me CSM
2nd January 2006, 12:42 AM
I'll submit if okay.
Pokemon: Umbreon (Low Level)
Appearence: See sig sprite
Personality: Two words, fiery temper. Although, he is kind.
Hometown: Pallette town.
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