View Full Version : Tenbun Yon Kon/Destiny of the Four Souls

11th October 2005, 6:19 AM
For the record, if I got the translation wrong, I ask you for forgiveness and let me know imedeately. Thank you and Please enjoy.I probbly need a disclaimer in here, don't I?o.k.I am sorry, its my first fic and kinda have no idea as to what i am doing.

Discliamer: I do not own poke'mon nor do I take much credit for anything in the plot

Tenbun Yon Kon/Destiny of the Four Souls

We begin our story in a house in a small and aucluded town in the Hoen mountains called Baransuobupawaa, meaning balance of power. In this house we find our two main characters, Blade F. Saber and Purity C. Fan. Blade is a young boy of the age og 15. He ids about 5' 9 with a tan colored skin. His hair is a dark brown, in a slightly long fashion, as are his eyes. His face is set to look like he is always in a bad mood for his eyes are kinda stuck that way( its true, they were not always like that but they grew into it), yet his glasses gave him the eyes of a wise man when he is in thought. He is always wearing his black pants and jacket with white T-shirt and bland white shoes( notice a pattern here?).
Now Purity is a little younger than Blade(14). She is about 5' 6 with white skin( it is technically a peach color, but you know what I mean). Her hair is a dirty blond that goes a little way down the back. Her eyes are a saphire type of blue that seems to hold the innocence of a baby. She also wears glasses, but they don't add anything to her but better eye sight. She usually wears a light blue tank-top with a pair of jean pants.
Now back to the house. They were both in Blades room prepareing for their journey that was oh-so-well-known. However, this time around there is a twist, these two wish to be the best team in history. Much more exciting than that whole "Master of them all" deal, don't you think? Now, where were we? Ah,yes. The two teens packing their bags in Blade's room. "Can you belive we're finally allowed to do this?" asked the very anxious Blade.
Their parents, being the stuborn mules parents tend to be, had forbid them from traveling till they were both at least 14.
"I know, I mean they could at least let us get poke'mon in the mean time for some experience in raiseing them!" Purity replied with equal excitment.
They were forced to spend all their time together (not with a whole lot of resisting) so they could learn to think in sync. As much as their parents supported their dream, they still wanted to ready them in their own way.
"Ready?" Blade asked with the smirk he was well known for.
"You know it!" Purity replies beaming. They had just finished packing.
"You know, there is just one thing I never quite got about this whole ordeal." Blade said, stopping for a momment.
"What?" asked the now curious Purity.
"Why are those old coots so edgey whenever we bring up this trip? I mean, its like there is something about it they don't want us to know just yet, you know?" was his reply.
"Is that what you've been pondering about lately?" asked Purity, raiseing an eye brow.
"And the reson you beat me so easly at chess yesterday." He added, once again, smirking.
"Yeah right! You just don't want to admit that I can accually out wit you!" she teases.
"Whatever, lets go get the new responsibility from the professer!" he says, shaking the comeback off.
Purity sighs, "Right behind you."
"See anything you like?" Blade joked.
"No, not really" she replied, blushing like mad.
She was glad to be behind him so he could not see this, though he already knew about it anyway. They both head down the steps with the traditional travel gear: poke'balls, potions, running shoes, a backpack, and a phanny pack. They got down the stairs and their parents were waiting for them. ~This can't be good~ they both thought simultaneously. They looked at each other and knew they were both thinking the same thing.
"I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this isn't a send off of some sort," Blade said kinda nervously.
"You are correct," said the unusually cold voice of his father.
"Okay, another wild guess. You guys are still don't want us to go reguardless of what you all agreed on 4 years ago." Blade saw that he was right by the glares he was getting.
"We still belive you both to be unready for traveling together." stated Purity's father.
"Aha, I knew it!" cried Blade.
Purity looked at him rather confused. "Huh?????"
"I have suspected for some time that the reson they have delayed our trip for so long in order to keep two teens from doing anything stuipid." Blades eyes were narrow with rage.
"What?!?!?!?!?!?! Like I would ever do something like that with you!" Purities reaction made Blade flinch. "Oh, sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" she appologized.
"I don't know if I should feel relived or otherwise" Blade joked.
Yet Purity's mother vented a seething rage at the comment. "You see! That boy just wants my daughter for his own amusment!!!!!!" Her eye's wer deadly.
Blade took a step in front of his best friend for protection. "Okay, first of all, ouch. Second of all, that accusation seems a little unfair, don't you think? I mean, honestly! I have no intention of bringing any form of harm to her and I have no intetion of letting you hurt here dreams in this way with your paranoia!" Purity's mothers eyes softened to their usual kindness.
"Good job, you pass." she said softly.
"Whaaaaa?" asked the now completely lost Blade.
"You both have passed, you deffended yourself and my daughter despite the consiquences that you have been warned about in the past. We were hoping the bond we've helped you forge would be this strong," she explained with a somewhat mystrious smile.
"Okay," Purity says in a curious manner," what are you guys up to?" she asked.
The only answer she would get was ,"We will tell you as soon as you qualify for the leage."
And with that, the parents left the house. As soon as they were out of ear shot,
"...What the F***!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" they both yelled.
"Any idea what that was about? asked Blade.
"Not a clue," Replied Purity.
"Guess we better get going, were late enough as it is,"Blade said with a sigh.
"I suppose so... race you!" she challenged.
"Hn, You're on!" he accepted.
They run out the door, and so they head for the lab accross the way, to begin ther journey in world of poke'mon.

Written By: Cody N.T. Chung Chesser

So how did you all like it? I know it could probbly use some work and you're most likey wondering about the fact that it is called Destiny of the Four Souls, huh? well you'll have to wait to find out!

11th October 2005, 5:56 PM
What. no comments? you guys gotta give me something, I dont care if its mean or not as long as its honest and i get some kind of reaction!

11th October 2005, 8:50 PM
I like it. A lot. Might be a little easier to read if it had paragraph delineations, but otherwise, good job. Now write more so I can read it!

11th October 2005, 9:41 PM
Well not to be mean or anything but... It has like 1000000000000 errors!!!
I will point some out.

Grammer errors

Punctuation errors

Hard to read error, USE PARAGRAHS!

Please enter twice after each dialog

To short to be called a story

Just work on that ok! ^______^

12th October 2005, 1:57 AM
I'll get on that for the next chapter, remeber, its my first time on these things

The PikaMew Fanatic
13th October 2005, 1:19 AM
Eh. It's okay. By the way, I'm going to get you for what you did in my fic. And this is how I'll do it:Spoiler time! The main character's rivals are the other 2 souls. Corny, isn't it?

13th October 2005, 2:55 AM
There! I fixed the first chapter, though I couldnt do a thing about the length.

13th October 2005, 2:57 AM
Everyone, please ignor my mother,FibreJunky. I am sure the last thing you all need is to listen to a boys mother kissing up to her son!

13th October 2005, 3:49 AM
Just so everyone knows, SoulSword says that unless at least 2 people PM him, the next chapter stays down.

13th October 2005, 4:23 AM
Firstly, SoulSword, don't double post, You can just as easily Edit your posts. -_-

Now, the revew:
This honestly should have been written on Microsoft Word. There were a TON or spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. This program could have easily found them and showed you how to fix them.
It isn't spelled 'poke'mon'. It is spelled 'Pokémon'. Capital 'P' and 'e' with an accent (é). To make this 'é', press and hold 'Alt', then type in 130 on the number board on the left side of the keyboard. If you can't do that, at least don't put in the apostrophe and capitalize the 'P'.
Also, every time you have a new paragraph (including when someone talks) you have to skip TWO LINES. You have to press the 'Enter' button TWICE, ok? That way, it's easier to read.

Description was lacking. What does the house look like? The parents?
You DID provide description on what the two main characters look like at the beginning, but that was BAD. Never, EVER bluntly tell us these things. It interrupts the flow of the story and is very awkward.

Characters have somewhat of a personality, however again, you are much too blunt with it. You just outright say that this person is this way and feels that way. We have to see from their actions what kinds of people they are. We don;t want you to actually TELL us.

Plot: It's not that great. The parents were conspiring so that they'd become close? WTF? Then you totally lost me when the parents stop Blade and Purity.
Then the fic is becoming a trainer fic that will later include two other characters how exciting.

Oh, and AmericanPuppy104? Please tell SoulSword that nobody really cares if he posts the next chapter or not. It's HIS choice if he wants to continue or not. if he posts a FanFic, he should be doing it because HE wants to, not because he wants people to idolize his work. We post fics here to IMPROVE, not to become popular.
I hope you read this post, SoulSword. You can learn a thing or two from it.


13th October 2005, 12:53 PM
Look kid, first off, I only had my sister right that to see how people would respond, an experiment, you know? Second thing, everyone should know the what basic house looks like, so why bother describeing it? Next, since the parents aren,t all that important to the story yet and wont reappear for a while, I didnt bother describeing them, alright? and I'll work on the action thing, so any other concerns should be rather miner and unimpaortant, unless im missing something. But yeah, I'll get on it, happy?

13th October 2005, 8:30 PM
Look kid,
Excuse me, but not only have I been on the Forums way longer than you, but I'm also older than you. I could adopt you as my newb if we so choose. I have enough experience here to be your mentor.
So next time you call someone 'kid', check to see how long they've been a member, little newblet. *coughownedcough*

first off, I only had my sister right that to see how people would respond, an experiment, you know?
Oh, you wanted to sound like some kind of martyr. How cute. "Oh, I'll DIE if people don't tell how they feel about my WONDERFUL writing!" Boo frickin hoo.
Guess what? The forums don't work like that. If you stop posting a story because of a lack of readers, nobody will care. What you do is your choice. Nobody here is going to babysit you.
Hmmm, you had your 'sister' threaten your readers and *gasps* nobody replied and seemed to care! What a surprise. Nobody here takes to threats, kid.

Second thing, everyone should know the what basic house looks like, so why bother describeing it?
Um, let's see...because you're SUPPOSED TO.
Why would I describe the sky in my fic? Why describe the forest the main characters are in? Because it makes the reader feel like they're right there, in the story standing right there next to the characters!
Do you not know what description is? Do you not know what description is for? Apperantly not. You're supposed to use description to get the reader INTO the story. We, the readers, want to feel like we're actually there, in the house, with Blade and Purity. We want to feel like we're part of the story.
And guess what? NOT ALL HOUSES ARE THE SAME. There are different social/economical classes: higher, middle and lower. Now, a reader in the lower class will probably imagine the house as being like their own: maybe a bit run down, paint peeling off the walls, the kitchen table being wobbly and having mismatched chairs, a stained wooden floor, a backyard with many weeds and so on. Someone in the higher class, however, may think that every room has a TV, there are expensive chandeliers in the dining room/s, bedrooms have four-poster king sized beds, a pool in the backyard and so on.
Now, is the house that Blade and Purity is in a high, lower or middle class house? WE DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GIVE US A SINGLE DESCRIPTIVE WORD ON THE STATE OF THE HOUSE. If we knew about what kind of house it is, we can get an idea of what the family's background and history is like. This is important because WE WANT TO KNOW AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE ON THE MAIN CHARACTERS.

Next, since the parents aren,t all that important to the story yet and wont reappear for a while, I didnt bother describeing them, alright?
No, it's not alright.
Because you didn't add description, when I tried to imagine what the parents looked like, all I saw were a bunch of shapeless shadows.
We don't care how unimportant they are to the story. We still want to know what they look like so we can see them in our heads.
And if it takes a few extra minutes of your life to figure out what the parents look like, it won't make your life a living Hell.
I strongly suggest that to know what I mean by 'these characters are shapeless shadow' read Dragonfree's fic, Life of a Character (http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=46105). This can be a HUGE help for aspiring authors.

and I'll work on the action thing, so any other concerns should be rather miner and unimpaortant, unless im missing something. But yeah, I'll get on it, happy?
Me, happy? You aren't doing this for me. You shouldn't be writing so as to make your readers happy.
Personally, I don't care what you do. You can just go off right now and keep writing in the reply box. I don't give. All I'm doing is trying to help you improve. I'm trying to help you get better. If you don't want my advise, I don't care. Continue writing at a below average level. It doesn't affect my life.
I'm doing this for you. Taking my own free time and telling you how to improve. If you want to blow me off, go ahead. But there are other reviewers like me, and whether you like it or not, they will tell you the same things I did.
So maybe if you keep writing at this level I'll come back to help you. It;s what I do, see? I'm one of Serebii's most honest, and most hated reviewers. I do my job because people need to learn how to improve.

Don't do this for me. Do it for yourself. Help me to help you.


14th October 2005, 1:39 AM
For the record, I call everyone kid, regardless of age. And if you have something to suggest to improve future chapters, i ask you make them known. I am open to suggestions. And most importanly, I am personally sick of hearing that "help me help you" line. please don't do it again. Oh, and I belive that the trem "small and succulded town" gives you a really good idea for a house in the world this is based off of like so much on this site.

The PikaMew Fanatic
14th October 2005, 10:45 PM
Personally, I think you should buy your personal dictionary. You can't even spell "term"! You should take Psychic's advice.

14th October 2005, 11:01 PM
You butt out!

The PikaMew Fanatic
14th October 2005, 11:26 PM
*;025;: Butthead!*
*;277;: Turbonerd!*
*;348;: Freak show!*
*;257;: Idiot!*
*;292;: Numskull!*
*All but Mace: :@*
*;025;: You ruined the state of anger!*
I agree with the twits. You are stupid for not following other people's advice!
*All: We aren't twits!*

14th October 2005, 11:58 PM
Get off your high horse, SoulSword. I'm not sure if you think this is actually good, but it's not, and I'm tempted to think this is a troll.

Psychic came in to offer you advice, and as one often flamed by n00bs, I can safely say he didn't deserve you talking to him that way. Disrespect on these forums = ban. I have the mind to PM Dragonfree right now. Leave it alone, and either don't improve, continue to whine, and don't get readers, or learn to take advice and get better. The end.

15th October 2005, 2:40 AM
For the record, I call everyone kid, regardless of age.
Everyone? That's a laugh. There are people here in college. Somehow, I can't see some of them being called 'kid'.

And if you have something to suggest to improve future chapters, i ask you make them known.
Here's a suggestion: improve your spelling and grammar. Skip lines. Add description.

And most importanly, I am personally sick of hearing that "help me help you" line.
Do you think I enjoy trying to get people to listen to what I have to say? Maybe if you listened the first time, I wouldn't have to use that line.

please don't do it again.
I'll use it untill it makes you listen.

Oh, and I belive that the trem "small and succulded town" gives you a really good idea for a house in the world
Uh, no; not really. -_- Everyone interrpruts that line differently. Not everyone thinks exactly like you, as I already mentioned.

this is based off of like so much on this site.
I think that the point you're trying to make in this sentence is that the Town is like Serebii. Dude, Serebeth is based off this site. Your Baransuobupawaa (how the Hell is anyone going to remember a name like that? I can see a two year old trying to remember the name of his town...) is not described at all, so we can't really compare it to any place we know.

Personally, I think you should buy your personal dictionary. You can't even spell "term"! You should take Psychic's advice.

You butt out!
Firstly, dragon_dude, there's a dictionary on Microsoft Word that SoulSword could use, but apperantly he's too good for that.
Of course, you added nothing helpful to this thread, so it's not surprising that you have nothing constructive to say.
Secondly, SoulSword, if you want people to read and review your fic, you're going about it the wrong way. That kind of comment will turn readers off. Nobody wants to review a fic with a writer with such an attitiude.
If Serebii's so nice, then you're ruining it with your snappy comments. That was practically SPAM. That entire post was you putting dragon_dude down for telling you to listen to me.

And dragon_dude35d, replying with even MORE SPAM is just as bad. Both you and SoulSword are going to turn this thread into a Flame War. Now stop it.

Get off your high horse, SoulSword. I'm not sure if you think this is actually good, but it's not, and I'm tempted to think this is a troll.

Psychic came in to offer you advice, and as one often flamed by n00bs, I can safely say he didn't deserve you talking to him that way. Disrespect on these forums = ban. I have the mind to PM Dragonfree right now. Leave it alone, and either don't improve, continue to whine, and don't get readers, or learn to take advice and get better. The end.
Thank the Lord, some else with commun sense has entered the thread!

Thanks for sticking up for me, man. Few people do that. And you're right-they'll all go to Banned Land if they keep this up.

The only thing is that I'm not a guy. ^^; If I got a dime for every time I was thought to be a guy, I could buy an iPod.

But don't force Act to drag Dragonfree into this. It will not turn out well. For you, that is.

Think about what we've said here before you reply.


15th October 2005, 2:52 AM
Alright! befare I do what I logged on today for, might I ask you get off my case? Believe me, I know how crappy it is right now, OK? And none of the stuff I said was personal! But I have been spending time trying to improve for this next chapter! Believe it or not, I acually do take some of this stuff sereously. I'll try to post the next Chapter tomarrow and we shall see what I have learned.OK?

The PikaMew Fanatic
15th October 2005, 3:00 AM
And dragon_dude35d, replying with even MORE SPAM is just as bad. Both you and SoulSword are going to turn this thread into a Flame War. Now stop it.
You're right Psychic, I shouldn't have gotten so mad at my bro. I'm sorry.

15th October 2005, 5:39 PM
Tenbun Yon Kon/Destiny of the four souls

We rejoin our young friends just as they are racing out the door.

"Come on, Pure! You know you can't beat me!" shouts the ever-so-modest Blade F.Saber. Of course, he is breathing just as hard as she was.

"Can to!' replies the tiring Purity C. Fan.

They raced across the field to the 10 year old pokémon laboratory at the edge of the town. They were going to claim their new pokémon for their journey today. And to make matters interesting, Professers Oak, Elm, and Birch had been here two days ago leaving a nice amount of poké-eggs for new trainers to start off with. You see, the proffessor of this lab, Proffessor Felicia Fern, believes that a trainer's first pokémon should be a choice left up to fate to test how trainers can turn out receiving a pokémon and/or type they weren't hoping for, as to the lucky ones who got the pokémon and/or type they wanted to begin with. Here is how the process works, a huge basket of about 20 or so eggs. The trainer randomly selects a single egg and puts it in a special poké-incubater to hatch it. The trainers then receive the standerd pokédex and such and not allowed to return till at least one badge is gained. This helps the proffessor to see how well the radom pokémon responds to the trainer and vise-versa. And now, it was their turn. They both get through the door at the same time.

"I win!" they both yell.

"I had hoped you two would have come through that door as mature young adults, but I guess not." says a young woman of the age 23.

She had bright green hair and turquoise eyes with that pale, lab-nut skin.She wore a pink tank top, purple skirt, and a big lab coat. She was smiling to see that the two teens she had a great fondness for had not changed much in 10 years.

"Hello, proffessor," Purity says, panting and partly laughing at the fact that she and Blade tied again.

"So, I will assume that you two are here for your poké-eggs, correct?" she asks.

"You got it Prof." Blade replied, knowing that Proffessor Fern did NOT like to be called prof.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME THAT?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!" she fumed with that anime style steam-out-of-the-ears thing.

"Not much to tell you the truth. You see, usually your face just gets red and you use some rather colorful language," Blade replies with a very smug smirk on his face.

"Well maybe your not ready for pokémon!" Her threat is very effective.

"OK! Yeesh! Can't take a joke, can you?" Blade likes to push her buttons, but it tends to cost him.

"*sigh* Whatever, follow me"she says.

They walk dow the hallway and into a room filled with eggs (If you want details on the kind of eggs, just watch the eppisode when togepi hatched. That should give you the jist of it).

"Take your pick," she says as she whips out a camera. She likes to record this stuff for research refference.The time had finally come. It was time to make a crucial decision for the future of their journey. The pressure was on. They were basically about to choose the fate of their adventure.

Blade's point of view

"A pulse is emminating from somewhere in the room. I an feel it!" I thought.

I looked around the room. ~pulse~ (If you have seen Inuyasha before, you know the kind of pulse I'm talking about) There it is again! As soon as I had entered the room, this pulsing has been driving me crazy! ~pulse~ Wha? I turn around. I see Purity looking around furiously. Heh, guess she's having troubles to. I smirk. ~pulse~ I felt it again, it's coming from that direction! I got you now! There it was, the source of my new little problem. A simple egg. ~pulse~ Bingo. So, you're the little nuicance creating that irritating pulse. I pick it up and stare at it.

"Ah, so you've both chosen your eggs, or should I say, they have choosen you?" She chuckled as she signaled us to follow.

Purity's point of view

I walked into the room that held the eggs. Blade stopped in front of me going alert. I was about to ask what was wrong when all of a sudden I feel it. ~pulse~


What was that? I look around, searching for the source of the pulse. Where is it? Where?! I look around furiously for it. ~pulse~ Gotcha! I move torwards the back of a room to the spot where I felt it. I walk up to an egg and look at it. Surely this was not the cause the of the pulse. ~pulse~ Yep, this is it. Lets take a little look, eh? I pick it up.

"Ah, so you've both chossen your eggs, or should I say they have choosen you?" She chuckled as she signaled us to follow.

They both get their eggs and head straight for the incubation chamber. They knew the way because they had watched others before. They entered a big room that had fancy equipment (similar to the cloning machines in "Pokémon: the First Movie"). In the center of the room, there was a big generator that connected to six pods that were placed around it in a circular pattern. All around the room were (I bet you never saw this coming) more cameras. The pods themselves looked like giant metal eggs. Each one a different color; gold, silver, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and crystal. A hidden fact about the pods: all but the emerald one upped a certain thing (You know, attack, speed, ect). And the Profeser knows about it. Fun, huh? They walked up to them and placed the eggs in the incubation pods, Purity put hers in the saphire one, and Blade put his in the silver one. They set the timers and waited.Fifteen minutes later they hear a signal like what you hear in the Pokemon games in the Pokemon Centers. The pods slowly open and there, standing where their eggs used to be, were a Treecko(Blade's egg) and a Squirtle(Purity's egg).Blade slowly picks up his new pokémon with care.

"So you are what destiny has chosen for my journey, eh? Very well. I here by name you Razor T. Sceptiblade (sorry if it sounds to formal). How do you like it?" the new trainer asked.

"Treecko!" The baby Pokemon replied

"Like it, huh?"Blade says with a smile

.Razor nods. Purity, on the other hand, scoops up her new squirtle in a rather motherly way.

"Hi there! I'm your trainer, Purity.What should we call you, hm? Oh, I know! I'll call you-"

" Bubbles?" Blade cut in. Sometimes she is so predictable.

"Not exactly, I'll name her Bubbles S. Blastaphon," She replies, somewhat embarrassed.

" A fair name, Pure," Blade commented. Her cheeks slightly tint with red.

"Thanks, you're not so bad your self."

She was happy he was only eyeing his new Treecko at the moment.

"Thank you. Guess we better get to the next town, right?"

"Whats he trying to avoid?" she wondered but agreed anyway.

As they were headed out the door, they were stopped.

"Hold it right there!" Came two different voices yelling from down the hall.

They turned around and rage filled their eyes. For in front of them stood their most hated enemies. On the left stood a young man of Blade's age and heght.In fact they looked alot alike except this boy did not wear glasses and the colors he wore were opposite from that of Blades clothing. And the guy had a white hat on. Beside him stood a new born Chikorita, by about two hours, judging by the looks of it. On the right stood a girl of Purity's height and age. Her hair was a dark red and had green eyes. She wore a bright red long sleeve shirt and some dark red pants. At her side stood a new born Totodile, as you might have guessed, about as old as the Chikorita.

"Sheild," Blade said as if the very word ment something evil and tainted.

"Blade," the guy replies with the same death like tone.

"Taint," Purity says in such a way it would send chills down your spine.

"Purity," the girl retaliates in the same manner.

"So, to what do I owe this putrid encounter?" asks a somewhat ticked off Blade.

"We simply wish to see if fate has been kinder to you than to us in the choice of pokémon. And from the looks of it, we got the better end of the deal. Your pokémon aren't even from the same region!" Sheild replied with a sneer(I know that is not much of a big deal, but if you haven't noticed, Pokémon happen to work together better if they have some familiority with each other. That and they just want something to pick at).

"That's it! Battle time!" both Blade and Purity yell.

"Quick to lose your tempers again, I see," says Taint. "Very well, Chopps!"

"Vine!" shouts her partner.

"Razor!..," Blade starts.

"Bubbles!..," Purity contiues.

"Lets Go! Arise and attack!" they finished together (is it just me, or does it seem like they have been practicing?).

Written By: Cody N.T. Chung Chesser

8th December 2005, 7:53 PM
Tenbun Yon Kon/Destiny of the Four Souls

We left the "freindly" rivals just as they were calling their Pokémon into battle.

"Nice performance, maybe when you two fail at battling you can fail at coordinating too!" sneered Totodile trainer (I know the taunting is bad, but bare with me here, I don't get tuanted or tuant others often enough to come up with something good).

Blade fumed at this (he has a short temper, ya know?). "I'll show you, you're gonna regret those words! Tackle with all your might, Razor!!" His eyes were burning with a firey rage.

"Bubbles! Demolish that Totodile with your tackle! Give it everything you've got!!" Purity was ****** too, as if we couldn't tell.

She had been waiting for years to get a chance to wipe a smug look off her opponets face.

"Oy, Purity. Careful! Remember that Bubbles is still a newborn! I want to beat them too, but if you don't remain calm in battle situation and fight smart to the ability of your pokemon, we will lose!" Blade was worried.

Purity had never gotten so angery before. He had, but that was different. Rage was a part of him, not a single person who knew him would deny that. But Purity? Not one to lose her temper often like this. He figured that he had to do the one thing he could think of to snap her out of it.

"I am so gonna regret this, I just know it!" Blade bitterly thought.

He hit her upside the head.

"Razor, tackle. Bubbles, follow his lead!" He shouted as he turned his complete attention on his best friend.

She still had her eye's glazed over, but she had stoped moving.

"Come on, kid," He called almost everyone kid( yeah I use some of my characteristics, deal with it!), "Snap out of it! I can't win this without you! Remember why we came here today, remember the dream!"( I'll be the first to admit that that line was beyond corny, but hey, it works)

What he said seemed to get through to her.

"...Remember...dreams..." she muttered.

At this moment, Razor and Bubbles are rather busy dodgeing the attacks of their opponets.

"Pay attention and fight back! You do not turn your attention away from us!" yelled Sheild.

Needless to say, he was ****** that his rival was ignoring him. They payed him no mind. They simply stood there yammering. Her eyes were starting to return to normal when all of the sudden, Razor dodged a bite attack and the Totodile flew torwards Purity, jaws open. Blade stepped in front of her because she was still recovering from that little moment of fury and she was feeling woozy. Chopps clamped down on his sholder, hard, but he did not yell. He flinched, but no noise came from his mouth. He had a high thresh-hold for pain.

"Razor! tackle this Totodile, now!" Razor was supprised at this.

Sure, he was young, but Razor still was well aware of what would happen if he attacked the water foe, his trainer would be hit in the process.

"Do it now! Don't worry, I can take it," He reasures his Pokémon with a smirk. "I'll be fine, just don't hold back."

"Bubbles, attack!" The Squirtle comes from behind Razor and tackles the Totodile and Blade with full force.

"Jeez, that smarts! Thanks, Pure. Glad to have you back, kiddo. I missed you there for a bit." Blade said, glad to have his best friend back in the game.

"Glad to help, but you're still gonna pay for hitting a lady later." replied the child of innocence.

"TREEKO! KO TREE-cus here! Kinda getting pumled, in case you didn't notice!"Razor yelled.

"Squritle Squirt! I mean we kinda need a little help if you do not want us both severly injured, I suggest you do as my freind here says and get it together!" Bubbles added(Now I know you're probably wondering what on earth is happening here, right? Well they just started to understand their Pokémon. You know, they suddenly switch what they hear from poké-lingo to English, or Japanese, depending on what they are supposed to be speaking. I'll let you decide).

"Huh?" they both thought in unison.

They both figured they'd think about it later, cuase now was time to get their game on!

"Tackle attack!" they yelled together.

Their baby Pokémon did a simultanious tackle (well, technically Bubbles was a little slower, but that was do to the fact that Razor was hatched in the silver pod) apon their now weary foes, knocking them both into their trainers.

"We'll show you!" shouts a very angry Torch.

"Yeah! Vine, Tackle!" cried her partner.

"Chopps! Sink your teeth into that little priss's turtle pet" (Lame, I know, but like I said before, bare with me) Torch yells with venom in her voice.

"Shall we?" Blade asked in a gentleman manner.

"Yes, lets." Purity replied in a similer way.

"Jump and double-tackle, NOW!" they said in their battle unison.

They hit their opponets one last time. That was all it took. They had won their first battle.

"Fall back!" cried Sheild as they recalled their Pokémon.

"You'll pay for this wench (I could have come up with something better, but but with my mom checking up on this every know and then, I gotta be careful)! You and your boyfriend will pay!" yelled Torch as they ran away.

"He's/I'm not my/her boyfriend!" They both yelled (you know who yelled what) while blushing furiously.

"Me thinks they've got it bad, eh?" stated Razor.

Bubbles nodded at this.

"What makes you two so sure?! You're 3 hours old!!!" yelled Blade.

"You can understand us?" Bubbles asked surprised (clearly).

"Yeah, we can. We don't know how, but we can," replied Purity.

"And we would really appreciate it if everyone would get off our case!" added Blade.

"We're just saying, when new-borns like us can tell, you've got it BAD!'" Razor said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"WE DO NOT!!!!!!" Blade and Purity yelled once again.

"Amazing, you two can accually understand both your and each others Pokémon?" Asked the professer, who was walking out of the servailence room.

"Um, yeah. Why?" asked Purity.

"Basically because trainers rarely have a close enough relationship with there own Pokémon to understand them, let alone another's," stated Prof. Fern." I guess that means you two are really close."

"Must everyone say that to us?!?!?!?!" asked a very red faced Blade.

"Well you two are just so cute together! I mean especially what with your parents and all..." the proffeser's voice trailed off.

"What about our parents?" asked an equaly red Purity.

"Oh, nothing. Wow, is that really the time? You two really should head to the stop for that bus to the foot of the mounains, eh?" As she skillfully avoids the question.

"Clever, we do need to get going, but you're dead wrong if you think this conversation is over!" warned Purity.

And with that, they ran out of the lab to begin their travels as future tag team masters!

Writen By: Cody N.T. Chung Chesser

I truely do hope for at least some form of respose, even flames are welcome, though not without a price. I would like to know if I have improved or not. This is mainly directed at you, Psychic.