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Ash_Junior
27th October 2005, 7:00 PM
okay, so this is kind of a teaser thing to the sequel of Operation: Celebi.

this is the old OLD version of Retribution. It's a Mary Sue/Gary Stuish piece with illogical things happening, power playing, and other n00bish stuff like that.

for people who have never read my stuff before, I am WAY better than this. In fact, I've written aa better version of this. please don't point out spelling/grammar mistakes, as I'm posting this for you people to laugh at. I look back on it now and I laugh at it.

I never finishedthis, actually....just got to the seventh chapter (the funniest chapter I've ever written in any fic, in my opinion, and the inspiration for part of Chapter 2 of Johto--A new Beginning which I'm writing right now)...so...here we go. short chapters (compared to what I write now), sucky characters...

please don't die from laughing as you read this.

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I was lost. No two ways about it. As I looked over the forest, its tall trees, their green leaves, the various ferns and other assorted flora, I knew it with all my heart. I could hear the chattering of Sentrets, the mid-afternoon cry of the Hoot-Hoots, and the cries of Pidgeys in the otherwise still air. My heart was beating so loud that I figured that every Pokémon in the vicinity must have been able to hear it. My breathing and the crunch of the underbrush under my feet sounded like someone had cocked a gun and fired it. I was lost, and I was scared.

My family had never been much of adventurers, we liked to stay by our hometown of Viridian City, and we sure did get a lot of tourism in that town, mostly the Pokémon trainers on their way to Indigo Plateau. We own the Pokémon Mart there, so we make a good amount of money. Me? I'm one of the most headstrong people in my family, which is saying something, since our family has a reputation of being stubborn. I'm fourteen, yet I just received my Pokémon trainer's license. Confused? Don't be. I decided to cram in as much school as I could before I left, plus I had to finish my notebook of survival tips.

I liked the outdoors more than most of my family, but after getting lost for about a day in this out branch of the Viridian Forest, I figured that if after got out of the forest, if I never again entered another forest, it would be too soon. I had climbed a tree not that long ago, and, from that vantage point, I had seen a clearing with smoke rising out of it, and I thought that I could see a chimney.

I checked my pockets; they were full of rocks in case any wild Pokémon attacked me. It might just succeed in making them even angrier, but I didn't have anything else to defend myself with, so I made do with rocks, and a thick club that I had pulled off of a tree. I had another club, but it was of dead wood, and, after dark, I figured to make that into a torch, if I hadn't reached the clearing.

Suddenly, I came upon a stone wall, with lichen and ivy growing all over it. I climbed over, and hadn't gone more than a dozen yards when four roars stopped me in my tracks. I recognized the roars as those of Arcanine, and I was scared. I could hear them now, and they were moving slowly, deliberately, as if they were stalking me. Suddenly, in front of me and a little to the right, I heard a door slam, and I figured that I was near some town, and maybe whoever it was could defend me. I heard slow, unhurried footsteps coming in my direction, and then I heard a chilling sound. The sound of a revolver's hammer being cocked back.

I looked at the ground, and saw two Ekans and an Arbok just sitting there a few feet away from me, waiting. I glanced back at the wall, my only way of escape, and saw the vines moving, then I saw them for what they really were...Bellsprouts. I looked around me wildly, and from a little creek that I had seen, a Squirtle and a Wartortle crawled out of the stream towards me. Two Golems pulled themselves out of the ground and confronted me, while three Dugtrios popped up out of the ground directly behind me, and a Sandslash walked around a bend in the creek. Two Machops dropped from a tree about five yards away. I glanced wildly around, looking for an escape route. There were none. Three Arcanines materialized behind me, and the four original Arcanines appeared, two in front and one on either side. Glooms, Oddishes, Bellossoms, and Vlieplumes pulled themselves out of the ground. And I faced them. All of these Pokémon moved to within two yards of me, and I fumbled in my pocket for the kitchen matches, while trying to ward off the Pokémon by waving my sticks around frantically.

Suddenly, a man appeared. He was old. From the one time that I had seen Professor Oak, and from the pictures of Oak, he looked almost five years older than Oak, yet this man seemed to be more fit than Oak. There were a few things that differentiated the two, however. This man had thinning brown hair with barely a hint of gray, his eyes the color of twin embers glaring at you wondering how to kill you, or at least that is how it was then. With his ice blue coat, navy green pants, and yellow shirt beneath the coat, he would look almost comical, if it was not for the twin revolvers in his hands. Both were pointed straight towards me.

He glared at me with an intensity so severe that soon I could not look into his flashing eyes anymore, and so I chose to glance around nervously at the Pokémon surrounding, and my heart sank. A Blastoise, a pair of Charizards, three Venasaurs, two Nidokings, and a Nidoqueen had joined the party. Looking at the branches, I saw ten Pidgeots, fifteen Pidgeottos, five Pidgeys, three Spearows, and five Fearows sitting there, watching me. Looking, I thought very unhappily and nervously, like some kind of flock of scary scavenger birds of prey waiting for some carrion. And by their gaze, it was pretty obvious that they thought that the carrion would soon be me.

The door slammed again, and when I looked up, a young girl, about my age stood there, with a rifle pointed straight at me. She was tall, had long, brown hair that she was wearing long, down her back, and reached midway to her waist. She had one gray eye and one was the color of an emerald. She looked at me curiously, yet cautiously. In her ears, she had two different earrings, one was a Vulpix, and the other was a Growlithe. They may have come in a set, but I wouldn't know. From what she was wearing, I could tell that she was more up on style than me. Me, I just grabbed anything out of the drawer and wore it. She had plain blue jeans that were faded from use, and a T-shirt with an insignia that I had never seen before. Over this, she wore a jean jacket. Behind her trailed a Growlithe, a Sandslash, an Electabuzz, and a Politoed.

The old man studied me for another second, then said, "Drop those sticks, kid, and make sure that I can see your hands at all times." His voice was rough, and wary. I immediately dropped the sticks and jerked my hand out of my pocket. A Poke ball fell out of my pocket. I stared at it dumbly. How did that get there? The old man noticed the Poke ball and stared at me in an expression of harsh suspicion, "Who are you kid, how did you find this place?" He glanced over at the girl, "You're almost a full days walk from Viridian City."

I gulped and glanced down at the Pokeball, then a realization occurred to me, I hadn't checked that pocket very well, I had thought that that had been an item ball, not a Pokeball. That one was empty, I knew. But they didn't and I was getting nervous.

"Tyco Sanders, Please sir, I was just going for a hike, I got lost, ended up wandering all day, and when I climbed a tree, I spotted some smoke and made for it, which happened to be yours, I guess...I couldn't see any sign that anyone else was living around here for miles!" I said, very nervously, glancing from one pistol, to his other revolver, then to the girl's rifle, then furtive glances at all the Pokémon around me.

The girl spoke this time, wary, but not quite so much as her father. "If you were hiking, then how did you get lost? Wouldn't you just stay on the trails? And if you did, it would take a long hike to get here. Besides, where is your compass?" she asked, and she had a quiet voice, and some guys might have fallen in love with her right then and there. Me? No way, I didn't...not just because I was so nervous, but also because I wanted to be a bachelor and never actually had much use for girls.

I looked down at my feet, and firmly willed myself to keep looking at the ground, "Well," I said, "It's a long story. I like hiking where there's no trail, and I keep a compass with me, but I accidentally fell into the river way back there somewhere and lost it. Then, I got out on the wrong side of the river. I started back in what I thought was more or less a straight line back to my house, and, well, now I'm here. Sorry for intruding."

The girl looked me over carefully, not saying anything. The old man did as well, and put one of the revolver in a holster and put the hammer back into place on the other. He glanced behind me at one of the Pokémon. I can't imagine what silent conversation he had with one of them, but then he looked at the girl, who nodded so slightly I'm still not sure to this day if she actually nodded or did something.

He sighed and uncocked his other revolver and took the rifle from the girl. He motioned for me to follow him, and I barely had time to pick up the Pokeball before I felt strong hands lift me up and put me on a Rapidash. I glanced around to see a Machamp, and the Rapidash started off at a brisk trot towards the house. From where I sat, I could see two Nidokings standing guard on either side of the door, three Charizards watching the clearing from the roof, four Venasaurs, and ten Blastoises standing on this side of the lawn alone. Getting off the Rapidash at the door, I glanced around worriedly and hurried through the doors, which shut behind me with a resounding, foreboding clang.

Saffire Persian
28th October 2005, 1:58 AM
Is it just me, or does Tyco like to explain things happening in a series of threes. 0_o... I thought it odd at first, and it kept happening.. over and over and over.


Golems pulled themselves out of the ground and confronted me, while three Dugtrios popped up out of the ground directly behind me, and a Sandslash walked around a bend in the creek.

I assume you really meant to do that. Not that it's bad, although I found one of the trios, annoying, but not because it was bad, per say:


From the one time that I had seen Professor Oak, and from the pictures of Oak, he looked almost five years older than Oak, yet this man seemed to be more fit than Oak.

0_o... Try reading that out loud. I have read that sentence many times over myself... There's only so many times you can hear the name Oak in one sentence, while stating pretty much the exact same thing about Oak's appearance. That sentence was like nails on a chalkboard to me. XD...

Again, I'm guessing you very much meant to do that.

Now, the story had very many good qualties, as per your usual writing. I found it humerous in some parts, and very, very odd. Of course, you warned of this before hand.

A few sentences stuck out in particular (in no particular order):


"If you were hiking, then how did you get lost? Wouldn't you just stay on the trails? And if you did, it would take a long hike to get here. Besides, where is your compass?"

This guy asks wayyyy to many questions. XD


I checked my pockets; they were full of rocks in case any wild Pokémon attacked me.

.. Rocks? I think I can recall what happened when a certain other beginning Pokemon Trainer decided to use that as a weapon. I hope he does pound something with one. I'll be waiting.


I decided to cram in as much school as I could before I left, plus I had to finish my notebook of survival tips.

That was just gold. Don't you ever wonder why they're letting young kids who aren't even teenagers go on Pokemon Journeys by themselves? XD...



I checked my pockets; they were full of rocks in case any wild Pokémon attacked me. It might just succeed in making them even angrier, but I didn't have anything else to defend myself with, so I made do with rocks, and a thick club that I had pulled off of a tree. I had another club, but it was of dead wood, and, after dark, I figured to make that into a torch, if I hadn't reached the clearing.

The paragraph as a whole, was another example of a nice, illogical piece of work. Tyco here sincerely does have more personality then most trainers do in real stories.... even if his sense of thinking is off.

Ash_Junior
28th October 2005, 4:50 AM
*shudders*

I TOLD you it was bad!



this is the old OLD version of Retribution. It's a Mary Sue/Gary Stuish piece with illogical things happening, power playing, and other n00bish stuff like that.

for people who have never read my stuff before, I am WAY better than this. In fact, I've written aa better version of this. please don't point out spelling/grammar mistakes, as I'm posting this for you people to laugh at. I look back on it now and I laugh at it.

I never finishedthis, actually....just got to the seventh chapter (the funniest chapter I've ever written in any fic, in my opinion, and the inspiration for part of Chapter 2 of Johto--A new Beginning which I'm writing right now)...so...here we go. short chapters (compared to what I write now), sucky characters...

please don't die from laughing as you read this.

:D

yeah, it's terrible...

I'll tell you what...as soon as I get through the chapters that the first chapter of the REVISED Retribution (otherwise known as Unlikely Heroes) covers, I'll post the new chapter (which was a complete rewrite), and I'll show you how I cna REALLY write.




Now, the story had very many good qualties, as per your usual writing

o.0

this is GOOD???

LOL!

I'd burn it if I don't like keeping it around for old time's sake.

and it's a bit hard to burn digital stuff without destroying the computer you're viewing it on.


Tyco here sincerely does have more personality then most trainers do in real stories.... even if his sense of thinking is off.

thanks...

this is basically unchanged from its original stuff. just some minor upgrades...then I did a major rewrite.

:D

the result was a MUCH better fic that stalled when I started HHNF (I think, I'll have to check somewhere. Maybe I started Operation: Celebi, that stalled out, and THEN HHNF....something like that.)

Saffire, be prepared for EXTREMELY humorous stuff coming up.

the only real rewrite this fic has had (aside form the one that made it actually good) was once when I was in a weird mood, and went through everything to make it a lot funnier.

heh...

chapter 7 is THE FUNNIEST CHAPTER I have EVER done.

*grins*

EDIT: oh, and I got the rocks thing from R/B/Y Safari zone, not Ash/Spearows.

Throw a rock, throw a rock, throw a safari ball, hope you catch the Chansey/Kanghaskan/Scyther/whatever

:D

I LOVE the Safari zone.

haven't done the R/S/E one, but I doubt it tops the R/B/Y one, especially since the original had the thing timed with how many steps you took to get the Surf HM!

*sighs dreamily*

Ash_Junior
28th October 2005, 4:05 PM
I whirled around, looking the doors over, and found no knob, no lock, no nothing that I could see but a hand pad in the exact center of the door. On either side of the door stood two Nidorinos, and they were eyeing me warily.



Turning, I found myself in a chamber that looked like the vault to some kind of bank. With heavy steel walls on all sides of me. Glancing around, I found that the only Pokemon in the room besides the Nidorinos in this room was an Abra, and its eyes were open, gazing at me intently.



Suddenoly, it changed its gaze to the old man, and he came forward and took me by the arm. "Young man, I'm sorry that I did that to you, but before I do anything, I have to ask you a question. Since you're a Pokemon Trainer, you have a Pokemon right? What is it?"



I glanced around the room, and saw that the Nidorinos had relaxed. "Well, sir, I just got my License just a few days ago. I'm not joking. If you doubt me, you can have that little Abra over there probe my mind,and you'll see that I'm telling the truth. Well, sir, I've never been a person to leave home much for anything, but I have gone camping several times, and I am well aware how dangerous the Pokemon are. Several times, I've managed to hold off two Beedrills at once, with only a couple of long, thick sticks. I bought a few pokeballs and came into this here forest with the intentions of finding some Pokemon as I came. So far I haven't found any that I would want, that is to say, I've found Kakunas and Beedrills, Metapods and Butterfrees, and Raticates and Pidgeottos, but I've always wanted to raise one from its first stage, and so I haven't caught one, and I would like to catch one sothat I can catch others and teach that no good Team Rocket a lesson!" I was almost to the levelof shouting when I stopped, I looked at the girl, and she was just staring. Then a grin slowly spread across her face, I glanced back at the old man and he was frowning at me.



"And just what," he began in a tone that said that he disapproved, "do you propose to do about them? Yes, they are a problem to the society, a burr under the saddle, or a thorn in the side if you will, but what would YOU do if you had to do this all by yourself? An all out attack?" he snorted, his tone rising, and his eyes flashed, "Son, listen to me, I've known men to throw themselves in the dragons face, so to speak, trying to defeat Team Rocket! They all have been killed, tortured, captured and have never been seen again, unless they've escaped! And some of the stories that I've heard would make you want to go to another planet and become a hermit just to be rid of Team Rocket!" he looked down his nose at me, and it was my turn to be angry.



"Sir!" I said, barely able to keep a cover on my temper, my adrenalin racing though my veins as if it were a Rapidash, "I respectfully say that I wouldn't go flying into the Dragon's face as you put it! I would use guerrilla warfare! And If I got caught, then so be it as long as I take more of them down with me! I've heard about Team Rocket's atrocities! I know how Ash Ketchum, Misty Waterflower, and Brock Slate went up against them right outside of Viridian! I was there! And somewhere, I don't know where, they're out there! Not captured by Team Rocket I know that much! That Pikachu's of Ash Ketchum's, that was the only thing that kept all three of them from capture!" I said, feeling my face start to grow hot, "What TV cameras and reporters never knew, what nobody knew besides me, Team Rocket, and those hardy souls know, is that Pikachu and Brock Slate kept Team Rocket at bay, Brock actually fighting the Pokémon himself, so that Misty could get Ash away! I also know that Gary Oak's dissapearance is not a coincidence! He pulled all three, four including Pikachu out of a very sticky situation! The only thing that kept them from capture, however, was those Team Rocket Members, Jessie, James, and Meowth! They made their bumbling way into the battle, disrupted it accidentally, and that let this Brock fellow and Pikachu get away! And I will do whatever I can do find Gary, Ash, Misty and Brock, and bring them back and defeat Team Rocket, I mean if I only have my two fists, I'll get in there and get them back! And I'll whack whoever is in charge of Team Rocket with my own two fists, and I'll get there, even if I lose my arms and legs, and have to wriggle across red hot coals for thirty miles!" I stopped and took a breath, waiting for what was to come. I was taking an awful chance, for these people might just be Team Rocket, or, if they weren't, they might just let me go home. I was not prepared for what happened next.



The girl stepped forward, shoved me out of the way and put her hand on the handpad. Suddenly it glowed, and she turned it to to the left at ninety degrees, and suddenly, I felt my stomach come up to my throat. We were going down, and fast. My heart sank. I had fallen in with Team Rocket, and now I was going to be a prisoner, and I'd never be able to see Kanto free.



The old man came forward, and he said, with a twinkle in his eyes, and a big old open mouthed grin, "That is exactly what I wanted to hear, but forget doing it with just your fists, if you accept my offer, then you'll have part of an army to command!" with that, he made a grand, sweeping motion towards the doors, and I noticed that the descent had stopped. I turned and looked through the doors.



Through the door, I could see a huge cavern, it had to be about a mile high, and about three miles high. Hundreds of Ampharos stood in the cavern, flashing out as much light as they could, and three other Ampharos standing next to each them. Golems, Clefaries, Clefables, Wigglytuffs, Geodudes, Gravellers, Sandslash's, Diglett's, and many other cave, ground and rock type Pokemon hurried about. And despite the cavern's size, it was filled with Pokemon. Some of the other types that were running about were the Nido families, a few Pikachus, one or two Raichus, and there, in the center of it all-I rubbed my eyes to see if I was dreaming. But no...what I saw was really there. Sitting on a raised platform in the perfectly circular cavern, stood Mew, with Suicine, Entei, and Raikou. Four Pokemon said to only exist in legend, but now standing here in front of me, in the flesh! My jaws dropped, I turned to the old man, my eyes wide open and my jaw hanging straight down.



The Professor was walking slowly towards the door, and chuckled, saying in a low tone, "Welcome, Tyco Sanders, to the land of the free. To the Halls of The Tribes."


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*covers eyes*

*cries*

it hurts us, precious! it hurts us to see such sucky fic stuff that we wrote!

tomorrow I'll post the much, much better version of this, where there's actually a reason why he goes down.

:D

this realy, truly sucks. tomorrow, you'll see a MUCH better version of this.

Ash_Junior
30th October 2005, 9:36 PM
Unlikely Heroes (which will ultimately be named Retribution, but just for clarity for now) Chapter 1, covering chapters 1 and 2 of Retribution...

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I was lost. No two ways about it. As I looked over the trees in the forest, their tall trunks standing firm, their green leaves softly fluttering in the slight breeze, and the ferns and other flora that served as underbrush, I knew it in my heart. I could hear the chattering of Sentrets, the mid-afternoon cry of Hoot hoots, the chirps of Pidgeys in the otherwise still air, the growling of my stomach—I’d been lost in the forest for just under a week, and had been out of water and food for half that time. My heart was beating so loudly that I figured that every Pokemon in a mile radius could hear it. Logically, I knew this couldn’t be true, but logic and I hadn’t been on the very best of terms lately, and those terms were getting worse and worse every day. I was lost and I was scared—I knew this combination was a recipe for disaster, but I couldn’t help it. I had lost my whole family, my friends, and now even my home to war! I liked the outdoors more than most of my family, when they were alive, but now if I never again entered a forest, it would be too soon. Screw that, it would be fine with me if I never even saw a forest again!



Who am I? A very fair question. I hope my answer is good enough. My family had never been much for adventures, and for the most part I hadn’t either. We lived in Viridian City, and we liked it because as far back as anyone in the family could remember, we have always lived here. That, and we own—owned the Pokemart there and all the tourists, trainers, and people for the major airport in Kanto set us up pretty well financially. For most of the first ten years of my life, I had been studying to be Professor Oak’s aide, and was just about to ask him if I could take his test when he suggested that I go on a Pokemon journey. He knew that I wanted to be a researcher, and told me that I would get valuable insights on Pokemon if I went on a journey that I wouldn’t get otherwise. He told me that watching Pokemon interaction would probably be the basis for my future research. Someday, I plan to be a professor as prominent as Oak. I’m eligible for college, if there were any left in Kanto, and know more than most kids my age about battle strategies, famous battles in history, and battle techniques. Those subjects were my driving passion in school, and have been the subject for several hypotheses I have made on new attacks that could possibly be formed. Because of the small fact that I have no Pokemon, however, I have no opportunities to test them out. However, I now see why Oak wanted me to go on a journey, and what he meant by valuable experience. That’s why I’m off to Johto, so I can get a team and test my hypotheses. Someday I’ll have my own lab, and I’ll churn out new techniques like nobody’s business.



I’m about average for my age in about every way except for my battle knowledge, black hair, brown eyes, and a craving for adventure that can only be filled by a Pokemon adventure, which most kids who are fifteen have already had, or at least started. Thus the trip to Johto. The only things I have are what I had with me before my house blew up. A set of jeans, a black shirt, and a red vest, plus the one Pokeball I’d saved most of my money for five years for. It only cost me two thousand dollars because I caught a sale! I also had my survival notebook—the one I had filled with notes during the survival classes that were mandatory before the invasion. You know, the classes where almost everyone else was goofing off or sleeping. I had only one thing more, and it was my most prized possession. It was a Pokedex, taken from Professor Oak’s lab just hours before it was burned to the ground.



The first few days of my trip were fun, like exploring the unknown. I had helped a few Pokemon, and gained some friends, like the Asfiriath I was following, who claimed, from what I could decipher of its gestures, that it knew the forest well and could guide me through. Apparently the Asfiriath was an upstanding Pokemon, because it led me to places that were safe and Pokemon needed help. It seemed to be a rule among Pokemon that if you helped someone, you would help him or her in return, which to me is a very good system, considering my situation. The two-foot pony looked back at me and snorted, which I had learned was its way of telling me to come to it. As I hurried forward, faster than my walk before, I couldn’t help but admire the grass-type’s beauty. Even though it was far too small to be ridden, it was rare in Kanto or Johto, and was thus a treasured part of any serious trainer’s collection. The small, leaf-like green scales that covered most if its body seemed to glitter in the sun, and its face and legs, the only parts of its body that wasn’t coated in the scales were covered with brown and green scales, adding an almost camouflage that was hidden in places by its vine-like hair.



“What is it?” I asked as I reached it. This was probably what had kept me sane during the long trek. Having a conversation, even a monologue, with somebody or something else. Asfiriath’s nostrils twitched, and I sniffed too. I had learned early on to mimic Asfiriath when I knew it wanted my attention. I smelled something burning…smoke, and—FOOD!!



I took an involuntary step forward, then looked down at Asfiriath eagerly, “Let’s go!” I said, a little louder than usual, and charged forward. After a few strides, I could see a cavin in a clearing, with smoke drifting lazily out of the chimney. But the bruning smell wasn’t coming from the cabin. I slowed, and a gray streak zipped across my path in front of me. If I hadn’t stopped, I would have been tripped.



Immediately, I stopped, and Asfiriath was at my side, trembling. “What is it? I asked, but before the pony could respond in any way, shape, or form, four simultaneous roars erupted in the jungle, each at ninety degrees to each other, yet forty-five degrees to me. They had us boxed in, I realized, and I recognized those roars. They were Arcanine roars. It only evolved through a fire stone, so they had to be trained. That meant that either someone had stumbled across me or the Rockets had found me again. Once again, the gray shape darted in front of me, but this time it stopped directly in front of me, lip curled and growling. I heard a caw from above me and looked up to see a Murkrow. I had been caught in a trap. Ambushed, or hunted down. I wasn’t sure which.



The Pokemon in front of me was a Darnyen, one of the fastest creatures in the world. Not much taller than Asfiriath, it was obviously much older and much more experienced. It glared at me with a baleful expression, its dark gray hair sticking every which way—a result of the electricity running through its veins. Its green eyes seemed to glare right through me.



Asfiriath pressed closer against my legs, and whimpered. A sound I wasn’t even sure that horses could make. I picked up the Asfiriath, staggering a bit under its weight. It was only about twenty-five pounds, but it was still hard, when it seemed like it was scared of heights. I waited there for the owner of the Arcanine to approach, or the Darnyen or Murkrow to tear us to pieces.



I could hear the brush crackling in four directions as the Arcanine approached deliberately, and slowly. Making me squirm a little in anxiety, which was no doubt their prupose. Then the first of the Arcanine could be seen, coming out from behind a tree. Arcanine are tall, lean beasts with creamy white fur that erupts under its neck, under its front legs, and behind the knees on its back legs. The creamy white fur also is very prominent on its plume of a tail, which separates at the top, with half of the fur going left and right in a backwards fashion. Aside from the white fur, it is mainly orange, with a medley of black streaks, not unlike that of its predecessor, Growlithe, who it grows from with the help of the elemental powers of a Fire Stone. At six feet, three inches tall, and three hundred forty-two pounds, it is, without a doubt, one of the most imposing of any dog-shaped Pokemon, and its strength more than matches its intimidating bearing, which is why Asfiriath understandably began to panic, but I held her still, knowing that if it ran, it would be dead in seconds under the Arcanine’s giant paws. I was worried. If I had to fight with Arcanine, the battle would be over in seconds, because all but the Darnyen had a type advantage over Asfiriath, while Asfiriath had no such advantage.



“Well who do we have here?” a voice asked, and it took me a moment to realize that it wasn’t my own, but another human beings! “Looks like a trespasser and his Pokemon.” I looked at the man, who had appeared to my right out of the forest. “Well, no harm done, boys, he’s not a Rocket, and he’s not hurting my property. That was a good ambush, but I can handle it from here.” The Arcanine turned away smoothly, never slowing their pace, and scattered into the forest. The Murkrow crowed again, and took off into the forest, looking for who knew what. The Darnyen, however, stayed where it was, glaring at me with the same cold expression.



“Sorry about the scare, son, but I don’t like people on my property.” The man was old, about as old as Professor Oak, if I could remember the Pokemon prof correctly. The man had thinning brown hair, red eyes, and a cashmere sweater. “May I ask who you are and what you’re doing here, and if I may not, I will.”



I sighed, and slowly let Asfiriath down to the ground, who stood by me after I straightened, even if she was a little cowed of the Darnyen. “Tyco Sanders, sir. I’m on my way to Johto, and this isn’t my Pokemon. It joined me several days ago, and has been my guide ever since.” I licked my cracking lips.



The old man grunted, “You sound like a Tintian.”



I narrowed my eyes at his words, “I am NOT a Tintian, and never want to be near one of those savages. A Tintian would at least know how to survive in a forest. I haven’t had food or water for four days now!”



The old man looked startled, “Four days? Why didn’t you say so in the first place, come on into my cabin, I’ll get you fixed up with a proper meal and give you a good night’s rest before you’re off.”



“Thank you,” I said, very grateful for the invitation, “I would really appreciate it. You don’t know how much.”



The old man grinned, “All right then, let’s get you inside. But we’ll need to get you cleaned up first. Some of my clothes should fit you. You can wear them while we’re washing yours. Sparky, let’s go.” The Darnyen got up, and stood to the side of the trail as first the old man, then Asfiriath and then me went past. Then he moved in behind me and padded along slowly. I had no doubt that he didn’t trust me yet, and was ready to attack me and/or Asfiriath at the slightest provocation.



The old man continued to talk about life in the woods as we walked towards his cabin. Apparently I was the third refugee from Kanto that week that had gone onto his property. He had put them all up for a night and sent them off the next day with clear instructions on how to get to New Bark Town, a map, and a Pokemon that would keep them safe on the trip there.



Slate opened the door to the cabin and entered, “Erin,” he said, I found the person that set off the Arcanine.”



A girl turned around from in front of a stove. She was a tall, striking young woman, with brown hair that reached to her waist, her left eye was gray, and her right eye was green and a simple blue dress, with an apron over the front, “Supper’s not quite ready, Gramps, Give me a few minutes.” She said, looking me up and down before turning back to the stove, “You’ll need to get cleaned up before we eat. The bathroom is over there.” She pointed to her right, “We keep a Blastoise around the house to do laundry. He’ll have your clothes washed by the time you’re done.”



Slate grinned and clapped me on the shoulder, “Better do what she says! She’s the cook. She doesn’t have to feed you.” I chuckled hesitantly, not sure if he meant it as anything more than a joke or not. I moved towards the door that the girl named Erin had pointed to and entered it, finding a modern bathroom, albeit small and cramped, with a working shower.



Oh, that shower felt good. I was washing off weeks of dirt and grime, since the Rockets never allowed us to have much water, and I had never felt so good in my life. A chance to get cleaned up, promise of food and water, and a real bed to sleep in, not some cheap moth-eaten cot or hard ground, but an actual bed! If this was what life in Johto was like, I couldn’t wait.



True to Erin’s word, my clothes were fully cleaned by the time I finished my shower, my notebook had been cleaned off as much as it could be, and even the Pokeball that I had never used had been polished. “Wow,” I breathed. This was a lot to do for a simple refugee. After I got dressed and combed my hair, for the first time in ages, I left the bathroom.



“I,” I started, then paused, overwhelmed by their generosity, “I don’t know what to say. I’ve been practically living on the streets for the last five years, and when I’m off to Johto to start over, I get treated with such respect…I don’t know how to thank you.”



“Oh, there’s no need to thank us, son. We’re just doing our job to help right the wrongs of the Kantan government.” The grandfather said, almost sounding as if his words had a hidden meaning.



“Sit down,” Erin demanded, “Supper’s ready and it’ll get cold if you stand around and jabber all day.”



I grinned, “And if I don’t?”



Erin didn’t miss a beat, “Then I throw you out of the house.” she replied flatly.



With a mock-worried grin, I hurried to sit down, and began scooping generous portions of food onto my plate, because I had seen that the others had already started. “I don’t think I caught your name,” I told the old man, “Pass the mashed potatoes, please, and the corn, too.” I said, waving in both the food’s directions.



“Oh, didn’t I say it? I’m Professor Andrew Slate. I used to work with Oak, but then I decided to take my work out here where I could do it easier, and I wouldn’t have to imprison Pokemon.” The old man replied, grinning.



“Here we go, off on another speech,” Erin muttered, cutting off a portion of her steak.



“What’s wrong with my speeches?” Slate demanded.



“Gramps! I’ve only heard them about fifty times each!” Erin rolled her eyes, and paused in her cutting for a moment to look at the professor, then resumed her work.



“Wait…Professor Slate?” I said, the name sparking an old memory. I reached into the pocket that I had put the Pokedex I had hidden for four years from everyone else, for fear that it would be stolen, “Weren’t you the one that helped invent these?” I asked, pulling it out and showing it to him.



Slate suppressed a grin and Erin made a face at me, “Young man, I did practically all the labor for those gizmos. Oak may claim that he did most of the work, but he wasted decades trying to build that little device you have in your hand, while I went out and did all the actual research. The original Pokedex was an entire library, of real books, mind you.”



“You just had to bring it up,” Erin muttered, going back to her food.



Slate reached out and picked up the Pokedex, “All those years of research to make this tiny thing? It doesn’t seem right for some reason. It doesn’t scream out at you that men spent their entire lives working on an encyclopedia of Pokemon. I haven’t seen one of these in twenty years.”



“Why are you trying to get to Johto?” Erin asked, obviously trying to change the subject.



“Well, you know the current political conditions inKanto, I know,” I started.



“That the Engarans, who have supplied funding to the Rockets covertly for years, have taken over Kanto in a little over a day, razed Fuschia City and the buildings on Cinnabar Island, and given Team Rocket control over the country, while they try to take over Tintia, who is their main opposition in the grand scheme of things, yeah, I think we pretty much know the current political situation, considering that not a day goes by that an Engaran attack on Tintia is on JNN.” Erin said, and by the way that Slate leaned back in his chair and that Erin’s voice had gotten much more tense suddenly, I sensed that I had broached a sensitive topic.



“Riight,” I said, “Anyway, Viridian City has borne the brunt of the rebel insurgents attacks, and over half the town have been leveled. My brother was killed in the first Engaran invasion, and my family over the past five years. I’ve lived there my entire life, and as far as I know, so have most of my ancestors. My house was leveled just over a week ago by artillery. The Rockets told me that it was a suspected Rebel enclave, and that I should find the orphanage that they set up there. All I had is what I have with me, and the clothes that I’m wearing, plus some money that I spent on a backpack and food. I don’t have anything in Kanto left worth living for, and I am hoping to start a new life for myself in Johto.”



There was a moment of silence, then Erin speared a piece of her steak with her fork and waved it around as she asked, “How long do you think it will be before Tintia falls, and the Engarans turn their attention to Johto?”



The question took me aback. I had never even considered that. My life had always revolved around getting out of Kanto, and starting over. I had never even given a thought to the fact that Engara might spread its domination even more. “I-I never thought of that. I guess I’ll work in Johto and head to the Orange Islands.”



Erin sighed frustratedly and put her silverware down hard, “Tyco, grow up and smell the roses! Where will it end? If the Engarans have taken over one country, what’s to prevent them from taking over another once Tintia is out of the way? Engara has been a country of war for hundreds of years. Do you think that will stop just because they conquered?”



“Erin, that was uncalled for,” Slate reproved her as I sat there, my appetite forgotten.



How long indeed would it be? How long would I have to live as a free man? How many more kids would suffer my fate. “But what can I do?” I thought out loud, “I don’t have any super great team! I haven’t even started on my Pokemon journey!”



“And yet you have an Asfiriath who is willing to travel with you,” Erin said, nodding her head to the grass type, who was waiting by the door, looking uncomfortable in an enclosed space, “That speaks for your ability to control Pokemon, Tyco. How would you feel if you could have stopped the Engarans, but didn’t. If you just let your fear conquer you, and you took the cowards way out? How would you feel as all the countries in the world are conquered, one by one? Sure, most would band together, but none would stand for more than a year or two at most. What would you do when all are conquered? What then?”



“I-I guess I’d have to fight back?” I mumbled, unsure of what else to say or how else I could ever respond.



“How would you, considering that you are starting your journey late, and you don’t have a Pokemon yet?” Slate asked, putting both elbows on the table and leaning forward interestedly.



“I-I don’t know. I have to some way, but I-don’t know how I will.” Erin had a triumphant look on her face, for winning the argument apparently.



The meal continued in silence, and when I got up, Erin did as well, “I’ll take him to his room.” Erin said, and led me into a bedroom that was down a small hallway off the main room. “This is it. Think about what I said at supper. I have friends, if you want to help fight the Engarans, look me up in the morning.”



I slipped into the bed, too distracted by all the things that Erin had said to fully enjoy the bed. “What should I do?” I asked myself, “The Engarans won’t stop until they’ve conquered the world, and I need to stop them, but I don’t have a good enough team.” I thought about what Erin had said, about her friends. I wondered if they were really real. If they were, I realized, I had to find Erin in the morning. If they weren’t, then at least I’d be in Johto.



I wasn’t able to sleep, and got out of bed at about three in the morning and went outside. Asfiriath was lying down, and Erin sat on the doorstep, looking up at the stars. She turned around and saw me, “Hi,” she said softly, “couldn’t sleep?” she asked, in a much more gentle tone than the forceful one she had used during supper. She had changed dresses. She now had a dark blue one with small stitches in silver thread that gave it a very beautiful look.



“Yeah,” I said, sitting down beside her in the doorway. I looked up at the stars and saw a Zubat or two flying against the stars, “I envy them,” I muttered, “They can fly away from the Engarans, and even if all of humanity is conquered, they’ll never be found if they hide in the deepest cave or in the biggest forest.”



Erin was silent for a moment, then said, “I’m sorry about my behavior at supper. I just—I lost all of my relatives except for Gramps to the Engarans. That makes them a sensitive subject.”



“I know how it feels,” I said, truthfully meaning it, “Do you want to hear about my family?”



“Yeah,” Erin said, turning her face so I couldn’t see it, but it sounded like she was getting ready to cry.



“I had a brother, Caleb, two big sisters, Susan and Emily, and my parents, whose names were Shirley and Daniel, but everybody called my dad Dan. Together we ran the Viridian Pokemart, but I think you knew that already.” Erin nodded wordlessly, and I hesitated, not sure where to start, then dived in, “My brother and I never really were anything more than rivals. Anything and everything one of us did, the other had to do better. When he got a new computer, I got a better one. The same went on and on and on until…” I trailed off, shaking off the memories, “Susan was the stereotypical pretty girl. Always had the latest fashion, was always on the phone, cared more about status and popularity than anything else. My parents were kind and gentle, but considered Pokemon journeys as nothing more than a source of income. They had told us many times that Pokemon trainers were never content with what they had, so they had to leave it all in an attempt to find what was already in front of them.”



“Me? I was never expected to do anything but run the Viridian Pokemart, but when I began wanting to be a Pokemon Professor, my parents encouraged it. I studied for two years under Oak to become his aide, when he suggested that I go on a journey, and that it would help me be a good Pokemon Prof.”



I paused, looking down, “When I told my parents, they just about hit the roof. I was forbidden to go to Oak’s ever again, while I lived with them, I was grounded for two months, even from school! They hired a private tutor, and I lived the next two months under house arrest. We’ve never been much for adventures. We’ve always stayed in one place. Caleb told me that he envied me, and Susan started wondering how she would survive on a journey without a mall or a beauty boutique nearby at all times, but it was Emily who helped me through it all. She told me that she always wanted to go, and encouraged me never to give up on my dreams, the whole big sister bit. But she really meant it. She quizzed me on Pokemon and types, and all kinds of battle related stuff. I’ve always been fascinated with battles, I don’t know why. She smuggled in textbooks related to Pokemon journeys, and I had to read them in her closet with a flashlight so I wouldn’t get caught. But then…” I sighed.



“But then,” Erin prodded, and I could tell she was very interested in my story.



“But then the invasion came.” I finished.



“Oh,” Erin said, “I see.”



“Yeah. We got word that Caleb was caught in the cross-fire on his way home from school. I could have been with him if it hadn’t been for that journey. The Engarans raided the store, took everything, down to the last cent in the register. They practically cleaned out every bank account, took over almost everything, took over every single business, confiscated every single Pokemon that anyone owned. In a single day, we went from one of Viridian city’s foremost families, to just another destitute family in a conquered city that had lost its pride. Tanks and troops rolled through the streets for a year, and troops still guard the Pokemart and the Pokemon Center. My parents were the next ones. They were killed the day after the invasion for looting, when they were only trying to get the store in order. Susan died six months later, of some sickness that was never diagnosed. Emily stayed with me the longest. She helped me prepare for my journey. She was in the house when…” suddenly I was there again, seeing the house as I walked back to it, exhausted from a long day’s work cutting down the trees in Viridian Forest for Team Rocket, when I heard a whistling that I knew was incoming artillery. It hit my house dead on and leveled it.



“I don’t know what I’d do if I was right there,” Erin’s voice cut into my thoughts, and I realized I had narrated it for her. Erin was still turned away from me, and her voice was thick, as if she were holding herself back from crying.



“The Rockets said that the rebels were using it as one in a chain of mobile headquarters. The part that sticks with me the most, besides my family, is the day that Oak disappeared. I was on my way to see him when I saw a convoy leaving his lab, where he sometimes lived because he forgot to go home. I saw him in the truck. They were Engaran soldiers, as always, but there wasn’t a Team Rocket overseer there. That meant it was a purely Engaran operation. I learned later that he was taken to Engara and is probably still researching, but all his research goes to the Engarans.” Erin nodded, still facing away from me, “Anyway, I went into his lab. Practically everything had been gutted, slashed, stolen or smashed in some way, but I managed to find the Pokedex, the one that I showed you, underneath some books that had been ripped up. I took it and ran, not knowing when the Engarans would come back, and return they did…to burn it. This is the only thing that I have to keep Oak’s memory alive.” I took a necklace out of my pants pocket, “Just like the only memento I have of Emily.” It was a locket, and inside it had her picture an mine. She had given one to everyone in the family the Christmas before the invasion, each one was personalized, but it was the one thing that reminded me of her each day. Of her strength, and how she wouldn’t have given up if she were in my shoes.



That got Erin’s attention, and she turned her head slowly to look at it. “May I?” she asked, holding out her hand. With only a moment’s hesitation, I handed her the locket. She turned it over in her hands, examining it carefully, “Wow,” she said, “This was made by Ruby Rockers.” She looked up at me, “One of the foremost jewelry makers in all of Tintia, if not the world. It has a lot of monetary value, but even more, in regard of the memories I’m sure it keeps with you.” She offered it back to me, and I took it, looking at the locket with renewed wonder. How had my sister scraped together enough money to be me this?



“So is this a one-way street?” I asked, not sure of what else to say.



“Huh?” Erin asked, as if she wasn’t quite sure what I meant.



“I poured out my heart to you, so do I get to hear about your family?” I asked pointedly, looking at the locket for a couple more seconds before putting it back in my pocket.



Erin hesitated, then got up, “I’m taking a walk. I’ll tell you if you come with me.”



I got up, “Fair enough, but is it safe?”



“Perfectly, the Arcanine, Murkrow and Sparky are constantly patrolling these woods. Not even a Ratatta gets past them. Let’s go to the garden.” She said, offering me a hand up. I shifted uncomfortably, then took it. I wasn’t sure how I should act in regards to her. She had offered to take me for a walk, and I didn’t want to come on as inappropriate. But if I wanted to hear her story, I had to go with her. It felt slightly colder than my own hand, and slightly smaller. I released it as soon as I got up. “It’s all right. I don’t normally do this, walk with strange guys at night, but I do usually walk through the garden each night, to check on things, and after the story you just told me I feel that I need to.”



“Look, I don’t know what your intentions are,” I said, a little uncomfortably, “but-“



“You’re worried that I’m trying to hit on you?” Erin asked in an amused voice.



“Well, uh, yeah, a little bit.” I admitted, feeling myself blush.



“Don’t worry, Tyco, I need to check the plants anyway. I do every night before I turn in, and you need to hear my story.” I nodded, still feeling the redness in my cheeks. “Where do I start?” she asked herself.



“Well, the beginning would probably be best.” She paused for a few moments, as if organizing her thoughts. “I envy you, Tyco,” she said, “You lived a normal life that I never could have. My parents divorced before I was born. Both wanted me and neither wanted me to live with the other, so I lived with Gramps. He moved out here four years before I was born, and it must have been a hassle for him to take care of me and try to do his research at the same time. Gramps is pretty well traveled, and he’s even been to Tintia a time or two.” She saw my incredulous glance and grinned, “Yeah, Tintia. It’s not the place we always think of, you know. It’s the only country in the world that has a tri-cameral government, with a Pokemon, human and mixed houses of representatives. Even though it’s surrounded by hardship, they press on through every struggle. They don’t give up, and they don’t fall back unless they have no choice and more would be lost than gained by staying where they are. One of the things that stuck with him on his trip there, though, was the fact that Pokemon were equals, and were free to roam about wherever they wanted, and they considered Pokeballs to be hideous things that only the worst Pokemon, or Pokemon in need of punishment would be trapped in. When he came back he freed all his Pokemon, and only the six you saw in the forest today stayed with him. Darnyen was his first, the four Growlithes were litter-mates he raised from new-borns, and the Murkrow is actually a Tintian citizen who was fascinated with the fact that he was a Professor and wanted to see what he actually did.”



Erin paused and knelt down to check on a plant, then got back up and continued walking, “Enter myself, a newborn into a bachelor’s life. He had to have sacrificed his research for a couple of years before I was old enough to be on my own. And he had to answer my questions about where mom and dad were. When I was old enough to realize that they weren’t coming, I went through denial, I said I hated them, then realized it was for the best, and that I’d be able to stay with Gramps all year round and help him with his studies. Then a little over five years ago, the Engarans invaded Kanto. Gramps and I were at a conference at Indigo Plateau at the time, and his Pokemon were going to wait for us on the edge of Viridian Forest, and Murkrow had gone home to visit relatives, so he didn’t have any Pokemon for them to confiscate. We were also meeting my parents there, it was only my third time meeting them in my entire life. Before I could even talk to them, one of the walls blew out. A piece of debris caught my dad in the head. He had to have died instantly. My mom went seconds later when the first rounds of ammunition were fired into the room. Kanto’s best and brightest were killed that day, including, as I’m sure you know, Ash Ketchum, Gary Oak, and the gym leaders Misty Waterflower and Brock Slate, who isn’t a relative of mine as far as I know.”



“After the Rockets questioned us, Gramps and I were allowed to go, and we hurried back here, and we’ve stayed here ever since. Murkrow runs into New Bark Town for supplies now and then, but, that’s about the size of my life story.”



I looked down, and realized that we had gone from the vegetable to the flower part of the garden, “I-I don’t know what I would have done if I had seen my parents killed.”



Erin bit her lip, “I-I know what you mean. Now you can see why I feel the way I do about the Rockets.” Her voice caught and her eyes filled with tears.



I wondered for half a second what to do. I mean, would I be an insensitive dope and stand there while she cried, or would I be someone who would try to comfort her. Without thinking, I drew her to myself, and she hugged me. I wasn’t expecting it, but it was what she needed. As she cried into my shoulder, I could feel my own eyes filling up with tears as I relived those horrible days that I had gone through. It wasn’t manly, but I didn’t care. Only soldiers were supposed to live through what I had, and soldiers weren’t supposed to be in Kanto in the first place. Somehow I got her back to the steps outside the door, and we both sat down, both quietly crying over something that shouldn’t have been, and something we couldn’t change.



After several minutes, and we had both calmed down a bit, I looked up at her, “You said that you had friends. Could you give me their names and addresses? I’ll look them up when I get to Johto.”



Erin looked up at me and smiled through the tears that were still coming down, “I’ll do better than that. I’ll take you to them.” She got up and re-entered the house, swiping at her face.



I was left sitting there, staring at where she had been sitting. “Wait, take me to them? How can you do that inside the house?” I asked, getting to my feet and following her as she went down the hallway. She opened a door that I had discovered was a broom closet, and pulled me inside, “Uh, what are you doing?” I asked as she shut the door behind me.



Erin didn’t answer, but moved further back and tugged at something. It sounded like a wall was being pulled back, then I heard her moving, but I wasn’t sure where or for what. Then there was a click, and a light blinded me. “Ah!” I said, “Put that away!”



“First, I have to know what you’d be willing to go through to defeat the Engarans.” Erin said, in a voice of authority over and above the one she’d used in the kitchen when we’d first met.



“After what they’ve done to me? I’d die if it meant defeating them.” I shot back, incensed that she hadn’t picked up on it yet.



“Then I can take you to my friends,” she said, taking the flashlight away from my eyes and further back into the closet. She had pulled back a false wall, I discovered, and she knelt down and pulled back a false floor, revealing an elevator filled with supplies. She climbed down onto the elevator, and gestured for me to come down. The elevator had lights, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in an enclosed space with a girl for any extended period of time, especially considering I didn’t know how long this trip would take.



“Come on,” Erin said, “You said you’d give your life, but you can’t take an elevator ride?”



“It’s not that, Erin,” I said, hesitantly, “I just want to be…appropriate.”



“Look, if you want to help defeat the Engarans, then get down here!” Erin said, a trace of amusement in her voice. I hesitated an instant longer, then climbed down after her. As soon as I was in, she punched a button and both hidden panels slid shut, as well as the top part of the elevator. Then the lights came on, and Erin shut off her flashlight. “It’ll take about five minutes to get to where we’re going,” Erin said, “So make yourself comfortable.”



It was a LONG five minutes. I was constantly wondering if I should have phrased what I said differently, or even if I was making the right choice, but when the doors opened, and I got my first glimpse of what would be my home for the next several years, I knew it had been the best I ever could have made.



I saw a cavern that had to be at least ten miles across, with a giant lake in the middle. The lake was surrounded by a city and had a pillar sticking up in the exact center, and the light that illuminated the entire chamber came from the top of the pillar. The lake glittered like a sea of crystals that had been smashed up and thrown together. I couldn’t see so much as a ripple, and I doubted there often was one. A river flowed from the other side of the lake, I could see, and had several waterfalls as it made its way down to the lake. “Wow.” Was all I could say, “Your friends live here?”



“Well, actually, this is where they spend most of their time. This isn’t the living level.”



“This place is big enough to need its own living level? Who staffs it?” I asked, completely taken by surprise.



“Tintians, Johtans, refugee Kantans, and people from Hoenn and other countries that want to help us free Kanto.” Erin replied easily, as if she had answererd the same question dozens of times, which, I realized, she probably had.



“And you-you work here?” I asked, dumb-founded.



“No,” she said, “I live here. Welcome, Tyco, to your future. And to the future of Kanto. Welcome, to Rocket-Bane.”

+++++
+++++

I'll fix up the spacings later...

but for now, enjoy how much better this is!

Saffire Persian
31st October 2005, 5:02 AM
It is much better then the old one was, obviously, though I miss Tyco's stupidness. :p... and I miss the "pockets full of rocks to throw at Pokemon" bit, as well as the tree branches that would lead to a fiery torch of doom!

But yeah, otherwise, very nice job. However, you seem to be using original Pokemon in here, yet I couldn't find a sentence that would concretely describe it, so perhaps describing the Asfiriath in a bit more detail, as well as the other pokemon would be very helpful, as we do not know what they really look like.

Also one mistake:
Slate opened the door to the cabin and entered, “Erin,” he said, I found the person that set off the Arcanine.”

You need a " by 'I'. ^^;

I was also a little surprised Erin joined up with Tyco so fast. After all, he's just one kid who hasn't even begun his Pokemon journey... *glances over to the Asfiriath*. After all, both Erin and Tyco barely know each other. Though they seem to be getting along very well. But I suppose every added member counts.

All the more power to Erin, in any case. I like her, a lot. I love take-action female characters who have a bit of a leadership quality in them.

I look forward to future installments.

Ash_Junior
31st October 2005, 6:29 AM
It is much better then the old one was, obviously, though I miss Tyco's stupidness. :p... and I miss the "pockets full of rocks to throw at Pokemon" bit, as well as the tree branches that would lead to a fiery torch of doom!

But yeah, otherwise, very nice job. However, you seem to be using original Pokemon in here, yet I couldn't find a sentence that would concretely describe it, so perhaps describing the Asfiriath in a bit more detail, as well as the other pokemon would be very helpful, as we do not know what they really look like.

Also one mistake:

You need a " by 'I'. ^^;

I was also a little surprised Erin joined up with Tyco so fast. After all, he's just one kid who hasn't even begun his Pokemon journey... *glances over to the Asfiriath*. After all, both Erin and Tyco barely know each other. Though they seem to be getting along very well. But I suppose every added member counts.

All the more power to Erin, in any case. I like her, a lot. I love take-action female characters who have a bit of a leadership quality in them.

I look forward to future installments.

k, thanks...

and just to clarify...there ARE no Pokemon journeys anymore in this time period in Kanto.



I was also a little surprised Erin joined up with Tyco so fast. After all, he's just one kid who hasn't even begun his Pokemon journey...

*grins*

I anticipated that, and I've got that in a future chapter...

I think.

*goes to check*

crap, no I didn't.

basically, the Abra that's in the original Chapter 2 is up in the cabin, as will be said in Chapter of of UH, and through the Abra, Erin basically checked him out to see if he would fit in.

*grumbles something about forgetting to put that in*

I'll have to edit that into Chapter 2.

EDIT: but when I go back to writing this again, I think I'll have 'em stay with Erin for a week or two so theycan get to know each other a bit more before he goes down. /EDIT

EDIT2: *slaps self*

after rereading Chapter 2, there's another reason why she let Tyco down so quickly. the same reason she got so emotional when Tyco told her about his family....that'll be explained in chapter 2:D /EDiT2


I love take-action female characters who have a bit of a leadership quality in them.

a la Lorelei?

:P

heh...

I have a feeling that you're going to like Erika, or at least as I portrayed her back then, before I had her tough as nails in Operation: Celebi (UH was written before O:C)

:D

heh...

there's plenty of funny stuff in the next chapter.

here's a preview:

[he's trying to decide which Pokemon to choose as a starter]


The next three choices I was faced with were the Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee, and Hitmontop. Hitmonchan was a master with his hands, Hitmonlee was a master with his feet, and Hitmontop…was good at looking strange, I guess.


and, to prove that I like Pokes with personality:


I walked up to the Machop apartments, and peered inside them. I had about to choose from. The first had a spartan, yet immaculate apartment, and had half a dozen books spread all over the floor, and seemed to be reading each at the same time, glancing from one to another. I craned my neck, and discovered that there were training books, with instructions on how to fight better. I looked at the clipboard that was attached to the door that had information on the inhabitant. Apparently, this was the weakest of the Machop, but also the smartest. Nodding to myself, I moved on, and even through the door, I could hear some kind of loud music, with what sounded like a Primeape shouting something in a horrible singing voice. A quick glance through the window showed that the Machop inhabiting this apartment had training equipment strewn over the floor, empty pizza boxes (pizza boxes? How did they get pizza down here?) spread out through the mess, and the Machop had some kind of guitar and seemed to be rocking away. Since I liked peace and quiet, I quickly moved on. The Machop in the next apartment had bizarre paintings (if you could call them that) on the walls, and the color scheme was simply very hard on my eyes. I quickly moved on, not wanting any patterns like that in my, er…apartment thing-a-ma-jigger. The Next Machop had a room like the pizza box Machop, except this Machop was doing nothing except listening to music (most likely the same as the other pizza box Machop) on a portable CD player (CD player? Where’d they get the CD’s, let alone the CD player itself?), so I, thankfully, couldn’t hear it. Deciding that I didn’t want pizza boxes all over the floor of my new place, I moved on. Like the first Machop, the last Machop’s apartment was immaculate, but this was lavishly decorated, with several full-length mirrors along the walls. I looked at the clipboard. This Machop was the strongest, and could nearly best a newly evolved Machoke, even though it was still very young. However, its drawbacks included that it was extremely proud and vain, and didn’t like taking orders.

:D


though I miss Tyco's stupidness.

don't worry, there's plenty of humor in chapter 2, which is, unfortunately, the only other chapter of UH I have done....:(

I might actually start writing more Unlikely Heroes stuff and post it in a little while, even though I haven't finished O:C, just because I've fallen back in love with this fic!

heh...just wait until you see Rocket-Bane's training facilities!

they are SWEET!

EDIT: and to address another thing:

I probably won't be using my created pokes for a while, now...

but when I do, I'll describe 'em more.

keep in mind that this was written a year or two ago....

*rolls eyes*

I hope that I've improved a LOT more since then.

and this isn't gonna be an average journey fic...

he's gonna end up being a scientist sorta person.

Saffire Persian
31st October 2005, 11:18 PM
THanks for answering.. XD I have never seen more edits put into a post in my life.. But I enjoyed reading he Machop with the affinity with the CD player. And yes, Lorelei exactly! She's so awesome... *cough* Yeah. ^^ Well, I look forward to the next installment.

Ash_Junior
1st November 2005, 4:22 PM
heh...you obviously haven't seen a lot of the posts I've made.

I think I've done as many as four edits at once once....

I'm glad you liked the Machop...

and I'm gladyou like Lorelei too. she's one of my favorite characters. incidentally, Sarah Gilchrist, from Johto--A New Beginning is a little bit like her. a bit more of an anti-hero (in the best traditions of the "Smell ya later" rival from R/B/Y's stuff)

next chapter:

I turned, awestruck to them, "Um...is that a mirage? I mean, Mew is said to..." I trailed off as I saw them smiling. "Okay, but what is my job in this? And what are your names? I still don't know who you are."



The girl gave a little laugh and said, "Right. I forgot about that, sorry. I am Erin Slate, and this is my grandfather, Carl slate. We found this place when I got lost and he came looking for me. Actually Suicuine found us, and guided us to this place to get some food and rest. When I got back, I found that Team Rocket had captured my parents. I found out two weeks later that they had been killed."



Erin's eyes went to her feet, but I heard the pain in her voice, "You don't need to go on." I said, "I think I understand."



Erin's eyes came up, filling with tears, "Do you? Do you know what it's like to learn the only legitimate government in Kanto, aka Team Rocket, killed your parents? Then being put on the hit list with your grandfather? Then, after all that, having to run away from civilization and jump at the slightest sound in the forest? Mew and the Legendary Beasts let us hole up here, or we would surely be dead by now."



Carl Slate had closed the doors while she was talking, and I felt nmy stomach go up to my throat again. I stood there, feeling like an idiot. I wasn't sure if I should put my arm around her and try to comfort her, since I only just met her. I said, "No, I didn't know that that-" suddenly I turned my gaze on Carl Slate. He was an old man, maybe about the same age as Professor Oak, and the Slate that Oak talked about...what he did-"Sir, Just a question that I have from hanging around Professor Oak, are you the same Carl Slate that made the Pokedex?"



The old man laughed, "Young man, made it? You could say that. You should see the encyclopedia I have just on the Nidoran families. Oak, that old coot, he was a really good trainer, and, if I may say so, as good as Ash Ketchum was in his own time. Yes sir, it was me, Oak, and a girl by the name of Agatha Fraley, we went on our journeys together, and together no one could stand in our way. It's no wonder that Agatha is a member of the Elite Four." He laughed softly, "Why, I remember when I gave Lance a Dratini, he was so thrilled, his first Pokemon...I could tell you about Bruno and Lorelei, but you aren't here to talk about them."



I stared at him, my mouth open, "you actually KNEW all the members of the Elite Four???" I asked, incredulously.



He looked back at me, a twinkle in his eyes, "Why, yes, of course I do. In fact Agatha is actually engaged to me." My jaw sagged even lower, if that was possible, and my eyes were huge, he must have seen this, and he said, "yes sir, once upon a time, Oak, me Agatha and Lance made up the Elite Four. Then Oak and I decided that we'd just keep Pokemon training as a hobby, and we quit. We handpicked Bruno and Lorelei as our successors. They have been almost undefeated since then, and If I went back there and booted out Bruno, we would be! I am sure! Ah, we're here. Tyco, meet the world of Rocket-Bane, the place where we train trainers to defeat Team Rocket." He gestured behind me, at the door that I came in through, and I turned around.



I saw a cavern at least ten miles across, with houses surrounding a large lake in the exact center of the cavern, and in the center of that, there was a pillar that rose up at least a thousand feet out of the water, and perched on that-I glanced at Slate, to see if this was some kind of a joke, a hallucination made by the Abra up there at the entrance, he merely grinned and shook his head. There, in all their glory, sat Lugia, Ho-oh, Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos, providing almost all the light fro the cavern from within themselves.



Erin came up next to me and said, "Night and Day down here is decided by them, they're our Elite Four, so to speak, but actually the Elite Five. If a trainer thinks that he is ready to face the Rockets, he must take all his Pokemon and challenge them, and, if he wins, he can go and challenge Mew. If he defeats Mew and the Beasts, then he is proclaimed ready."



I glanced over at her and aksed, "How many have defeated the Birds, the Beasts, and Mew?"



She tossed a grin over at me, and said, "No one. Only I have defeated the birds, and I have challenged the Mew and the Beasts several times, I have defeated Mew before along with Raikou and Entei, but Suicine always stops me. I just can't defeat him. Well, actually, that isn't true. I have defeated him. It is always Suicuine or Mew that stops me, one or the other."



I gazed at her in awe, if the power of the Legendary pokemon were what they were reputed to be, she must have Powerful Pokemon indeed. She took my hand and pulled me down into the city, and I followed numbly, and tried to follow her as best that I could. She leaped nimbly over the stairs, but I had to watch my step. I was dazed that the old Professor in the elevator, not only knew about Pokemon more than anyone ever would know, but that he once knew Lance and Agatha in the Eliute Four, handpicked his successors, and knew Professor Oak, plus he had this hidden city and had the Legendary Pokemon with him.



Erin pulled me inside the Library, and I just stood there, looking over the craftsmanship with awe, the entire city was sculpted out of stone, and this was no exception, this particular building had been carved out of Limestone, and this made the entire building sparkle in the light of the Birds. Its spires pointed towards the surface like accusing fingers. She let go of my hand, and I wandered around the Library. In it, I found books on every type of Pokemon. Screw that, encyclopedias full of information on each breed.



Then I came to it, a book on a pedestal, the code of the city of Rocket-Bane. Pretty simple, but still, I read the entire book carefully. I learned that I, if I decided to stay here, was expected to choose six Pokemon, then raise them. I wasn't expected to catch any more, unless they died, or if I beat the Birds, and the Beasts and Mew. If I defeated the Birds, I got to have three more Pokemon with me, if I defeated Mew, I got five more, If I defeated all three Beasts, I would be able to have a grand total of fifteen Pokemon with me at any time. You could only have ffifteen if you had defeated Mew and the Beasts. All of them, at the same time. Those who had fourteen Pokemon were masters of the Rocket-Bane society, and so far, only Erin Slate came close, but Carl Slate was a master in good standing, and had been for at least twenty years.



I turned away from that book, and then I saw it, in a corner, shrouded by shadows, stood another book. When I approached it, I saw that it was a journal of all the atrocities that Team Rocket had ever done, and a list of the members of Team Rocket, past and present. As I read, I grew more and more incensed, and I slammed the book shut, my face red hot with anger, and went to look up my favorite Pokemon.





After a couple hours, Erin came and found me. My face was still drawn tight with anger, and I was practically glaring at every book as I read it, even though I found the information very interesting, I couldn't concentrate, because I was remembering lines from that book, what Team Rocket had done. How they had tortured Pokemon, had created Mewtwo, and made him a monster, and how they had hunted him down and shot him with Uzis. I had discovered that Team Rocket no longer just used Pokemon, but now the elite had gun, missiles, and chemical weapons; and used them to terrorize entire cities that didn't obey them.



She took one look at my face and said quietly, "I see that you've read the Rocket book. it's all true, everything in there. There are a few things that I wish were false but it is all ture. The question is now, knowing what they've done, can you stand idly by while Team Rocket subjects other countries to the same tyranny? Will we just sit around, waiting to die, while the Rockets ravage the world above? Or will we fight back, drive them into the sea, never again to exist? I have made my choice, and it is irrevocable. Whatever choice you make at this moment will also be irrevocable, what you decide will be your guiding factor for the rest of your life. Will you just stand by, or will you strike back?"



I needed no time to think, my eyes were blazing, I knew, and I slammed the book shut and slammed it onto the table, "I had decided when I shut that Rocket Book, that even if I could only have a Caterpie, I would fight back until my dying breath! Now sign me up and show me the Pokemon!"



*writhes in pain*

it hurts us, precious!

it's horrible!

well, hopefully you guys don't think it's as bad as I do.

it's really....unrealistic.

Ash_Junior
2nd November 2005, 4:02 PM
another horrible chapter.

Tyco is WAY too powerful.

and how in the world could he have learned two Fighting type moves?

I guess it is possible, but...

*shudders*

+++++
+++++

I looked around, awestruck, at the Pokemon around me. I was in the breeding center, and everywhere I looked, Pokemon were pleading with me to take them with me. I turned slowly, taking everything in, then spotted one that I really wanted. Machops.

There were ten of them in the same enclosure, and I walked over to it and made my way inside, and man, were they ever strong, even at that early age! I had to make a conscious effort to stay up, they were all pushing me every which way, and I made my way over to one that was sitting alone in a corner and picked it up. It was the runt of the litter, I could tell that, but as I picked it up, it seemed to enjoy being near me, and cuddled into my chest. I turned towards Erin, and said, "I want this one. It may not be strong now, but it will be later."

Erin grinned at me with a mischevious look on her face. She wasn't telling me something. I knew that. What she was hiding I couldn't tell, but still...that expression...there had to be something special about this one. I didn't have to wait long to find out what, because as we were walking out she couldn't hold it in any longer, "That one is actually the smallest and youngest of them all, but it's also the strongest." I looked at the Machop in surprise, the runt of the litter being the strongest? It was amazing.

The next day, I went to the Training center, then looked around. My Machop knew where to go, and strode across the entry lounge to a door, opened, it, took a left, then the first right, then into a gym. There was only one person in the gym, but there were many Mankeys, Primeapes, Mahops, Machokes, Machamps, Hitmonlees, Tyrogues, Hitmontops, and Hitmonchans.

The Machop waited patiently by my side as I looked around, then I strode towards the Trainer, obviously in charge. He turned and saw me walking towards him and said, "Ah, I see that you have brought the little master back. He is actually one of the most powerful Machops that I have ever seen though he is the smallest. Now, if he will just take his place..."

I suddenly had an idea, and said, "No." He had already half turned away from me, and I saw him stiffen. His fists clenched, and his muscles bulged from the cut-off T-shirt and I could see that he was just a little peeved. Obviously, he was used to getting his own way most of the time.

He turned back and walked right up to me and asked, "What do you mean, 'no?' Do you wish to battle me? If so, then bring it on. He is hopelessly outclassed by the various Machamps that you can see training here." He was standing at his full height and glared at me down his nose.

I smiled easily, knowing that he could easily beat me to a pulp. "What I mean is, Choppy here won't join in the training until you agree to train me as well." I fixed him with a cool gaze.

Well, I didn't know that a grown man could whine and complain that much. He kept going on about the differences in Pokemon and human anatomy, how this had never been done before, how it was different for him since he had started when he was younger than me, and finally back to the good old, "it's not fair," and "I don't want to." I simply responded that if he didn't train me, I would spread the word that his brother was in jail, I knew this from gossip that I had heard from people around Rocket-Bane. "My brother is a warden!" he shouted at me. I told him that I wouldn't tell that part.

That got him, since he had had a sterling reputation and didn't want that botched. "All right," he growled, "But I don't have to like it. Your Machop will have to help you catch up with the class. Get over there, in the corner, and there's a book over there and you'll have to learn from it. I'll be over in a bit, just let me get the Pokemon going again."

Walking over to the corner, I found a pedestal much like what the Code of Rocketbane Book had been on, and began reading. It was fascinating, the history of martial arts, but I made a mental note to come back sometime just to read it, then I quickly flipped to the pages that the trainer must have been referring to...the pages telling a person how to use martial arts.

The Trainer came over to me and growled, "All right, Sanders, My name is Lieutenant Colonel Thompson, but most people call me Muscles. You can call me Colonel Thompson." Now, I trust that you read that carefully?" I nodded, and he grinned malicously. I began regretting my choice, "All right, then, let's get going!" Whenever he trained me, he pushed me to my limit, and I think sometimes just bit over it.

+++++

"It's awful!" I complained to Erin that night, since we had agreed to meet at a burger place, "He pushed me harder than he has any right to! You'd think I was in boot camp or something!"

Erin giggled, "Well, you are, in a way. He was in the army, besting Lieutenant Surge many times over, during World War Four, and he had to go through a grueling boot camp, so he's probably taking you through a rough version of it. Though from what you said you rubbed him the wrong way, and he will probably hold a grudge against you for a while, which means he will push you HARD!"

Groaning, I remembered some of the humiliating comments he had shouted at me, and the crowd that had gathered at the door, laughing at me, the dumb trainer that wanted to be strong as a Pokemon. "No?" I muttered, holding my aching sides where Thompson had punched me in a practice fight, "Ya think? I better get home and rest...so I can get some practice with Machop in later before I go to practice tomorrow."

Erin smiled softly, and said, "All right then, but I assume that you won't want that hamburger because of its high fat content then?"

She reached out as if to grab the burger, but I slapped her hand away, "hands off!" I moaned, feeling my aching arm muscles start crying out again, even more tired out than I could have possibly thought them, "I've worked off too much unwanted flab already today, and I need to earn some back." Erin laughed and waved as I left. As soon as I got back to the small apartment carved out of the cave's outer limits that had been assigned to me, I went straight to the bed and fell asleep.

+++++

I was wakened early the next morning by Machop shaking me, well, I hadn't slept at all, I was so sore. Machop pointed to the table, where it had fixed breakfast already. Sliding out of bed, I thought how wonderful it was to have a humanoid Pokemon so that it could fix dinner easily with human appliances.

I started staggering towards tha table, but Machop suddenly blocked my way. Glaring down at him, I moved to my left, but he blocked me. Annoyed, since I wanted my breakfast, I moved to my right, but he blocked me yet again! Looking at him, I saw that he had a smirk on his face, and knew that the only way I was getting past him was if I fought him. Groaning, I took a swipe at him, but he merely stepped back and gave me a good one in the stomach. That got me wide awake, but also really mad. Machop barely knew what was going on when suddenly a hail of shouts and punches drove him backwards, and finally into the kitchen, where he started fighting back. I didn't care but just kept fighting and fighting, until I had reached the kitchen tabel, then we both stopped, and I could finally eat. I couldn't believe how sore I still was

+++++

After a week of training, even old Lieutenant Colonel "Muscles" Thompson agreed, grudgingly that I was doing better than he had been at my age. "I don't understand it. How can you know a move that only a Pokemon knows? Well, except for me, of course, I know it too."

He must have been referring to my learning Mega Kick. Well, I just paid attention when he trained the Pokemon class, that, and my Machop showed me how to do it. Those practice battles with the Machop were really great! I was actually slowly getting better. But I knew that I would always be weaker than him. Oh, and another thing, the nickname "Choppy" stuck, even though I didn't mean it to be a nickname that first day in class.
A month later, Old Muscles shouted at me when I came in, "Sanders! I have an assignment for you now! You've wanted to see how good you really are?" he smirked, and I began to feel uncomfortable, "I've got a match all lined up for you..." he pointed over to the fighting mat, and I wondered what he meant.

"Are you joking?" I asked, startled at seeing a small but lively Machop waiting for me.
Muscles' smirk grew wider, "Nope, but then I knew that you wouldn't have the guts to face it. This is it. You do this now, and you hve the choice of staying in, or you don't do it, and I never want to see you in here again looking for another lesson.

Swallowing, I cautiously moved to the mat, and looked the Machop over carefully. If I guessed correctly, it would only know be powerful enough to use Low Kick and Karate Chop. Advancing warily, I threw a punch at the Machop to see how it would react. Muscles smiked and shouted in a clear voice, "Machop, Agility!"

I barely had time to throw myself backwards and roll before the Machop was moving. It came in with a Karate Chop, but I kicked its hand out of alignment, and its hand hit the concrete floor with a loud crack. It looked at its hand, as if expecting something to be wrong with it, but I knew that the noise was a crack opening up in the floor. While it was busy, I decided to pull my trump card, since Colonel Thompson had already shown his. Luckily for me, the Agility move only increased the Machop's attacking speed, not its thinking speed. While it was still pondering its hand, I darted in and landed a Mega Punch directly on its neck pressure spot. it froze for a brief instant, which I used to back away quickly, and it wheeled around, executing a Low Kick in the process. I jumped over the leg, then jumped again as the kick came again. Suddenly there was another kick, one htat came straight backwards towards me, and I had no time to htink, only to act. I grabbed the leg and shoved it upward. The Machop's momentum carried it off-balance and it fell over backwards. I decided to take advantage of this, and executed a Mega Kick.. It had been getting up, but it went back down iwth a thud.

Gasping for breath, I wiped off my forehead, which was covered in sweat by now, and watched as the Machop staggered to its feet. I let out a bellow and waded in with a Mega Punch. Well, my punch staggered the Machop, actually, it turned out to be the weakest of the litter that Choppy was from, so it wasn't that young, and back pedaled for a few feet, as much to get away from me as anything else, then it came at me, and executed a Low Kick, which was blocked easily by me by grabbing the outstretched foot and flipping it up onto its back.

The arena shuddered under the impact, and I fell to the ground as well, but pulled myself up. The Machop got up wearily now, and looked for its opening. I was pretty tired myself, but I decided to try something, and ran at it, and, at the last possible second, jumped into the air and snapped off a kick. I didn't have as much altitude as I would have liked, so it hit it in its chest, and I went crashing to the floor. It staggered back again, but this time I pressed my advantage, and used two Mega Punches, and it slid to the floor, unconscious.

I staggered, then started to fall to the floor, but Choppy was there, and grabbed me before I fell completely. There was utter silence from the room, except for the occasional Pokemon mutterring in amazement. Then, from the doorway, came a clap, then several, then I heard over the intercom, "Nice work, Mr. Sanders," I recognized it as the voice of Professor Shale.

Professor Shale turned from the intercom, and leaned back in his chair, "I need not remind you, gentlemen, and lady," he commented idly to a group of twelve men and a woman behind him, which comprised the council of Rocket-Bane, the supreme authority on everything that happened in the gigantic cavern, "That you were skeptical about this boy joining our ranks. When you heard the demand he had placed on Colonel Thompson, you said that he would quit in the first day, then the first two weeks, then the first month." Slowly, he got up and stretched, "This young man is ready to fight to the death for our cause, and I say that we shouldn't waste the oppurtunity. to recruit him for the army. I need not remind YOU that I told him that the council would have to make the final call on his joining the army or specforces. Is this not the final shred of proof that you need of his power? And what about his loyalty? Has not the Tester and Mew already verified this?"

"Shale," began a haggard man, "Please, I beg you, cease your tirade, for we have listened to you and grown weary of them. More tests must we ask of him. We must trust his honesty, and we must test his sense of loyalty. I have heard that he is going to the Psychic gym next, and he will not pass either the test or the gym. And if he does, he will have the test of morals and willpower, as Mew has informed us of his plan to go to the Grass Gym next."

Shale rubbed his eyes and reached for the coffee maker, "Someday, when Team Rocket is breathing down our necks, you will rue all this testing that you make the candidates go through!" he murmured fiercely, "We will not have enough Pokemon trained hard enough, nor trainers to face them, and thus the final battle for the world will be lost." Shale wheeled around and, drinking the last of his coffee, tossed the plastic cup into a recycling bin.

+++++

I looked over at the door and was amazed to see no less than two dozen people, some in the doorway, some in the gym itself, clapping at me and staring at me in awe. And there in the very front of them stood Erin, no, not standing, running towards me. She grabbed me from Choppy and hugged me. Me? I was so exhausted I didn't really realize what was happening until later, and whenever that came up again, I was always embarrassed. Anyway, the best that I could do at the time was to put my arms around her to sort of hug her back, but really just hoping that when she let me go, my hands would hold together at her neck and I wouldn't go sliding to the floor.

+++++
+++++

EDIT: I'm just getting started on Chapter 3 of UH...:D

Spewy05
2nd November 2005, 6:33 PM
Hi. I am new here. My first post ever! I like this one. Interesting. Very well written. Claps. Carry on! I give you a cookie!

Ash_Junior
2nd November 2005, 6:43 PM
Very well written.

*snickers*

yeah right.

no offense, Spewy, but this is terrible compared to how I write now (see the Unlikely Heroes chapter above...which was written at least a year ago)

but thanks for the review!

Saffire Persian
2nd November 2005, 10:40 PM
Surprising how much you can improve in a year - every time I look back at at least six month old stuff, I always see an improvement. This chapter was amusing, as well as a headache. Personally, I preferred him as a dumb idiot who would throw rocks at people for his own defense.

And Tyco vs. the Machop thing - to that I say "Inconceivable!"

A brownie point if you can guess where that quote came from.. I just stared at the screen at that point. Nevertheless, at least I know the real chapter's coming. 0_o... I'm gonna love seeing what actually happens between him and the Machop.. if, that is, he even fights it.

Ash_Junior
2nd November 2005, 10:45 PM
what, you mean The Princess Bride?

"No rhyming, I meant it!"

"Anybody want a peanut?"

EDIT: the fighting stuff stays, just not against a Machop.

it's part of the Fighting type gym...and that's all I'll say

Ash_Junior
4th November 2005, 5:09 AM
if you thought the last chapter was bad for....unreality, you're going to seriously cringe after reading this one.

+++++
+++++

Guess what? They didn't. Yes sir, there I was, getting hugged by the prettiest girl in all of Rocket-Bane (at least in my opinion), and when she let go, I was unconscious and my arms didn't stop my fall. There was some debate later as to whether I had fainted from exhaustion or from happiness, but I always knew that I had fainted from exhaustion.

I had learned from that book of information about Rocket-Bane, that there were six gyms in The underground society. You could only have one Pokemon until you defeated a gym. For every gym you defeat, you can have another Pokemon, save the last. The last gym gave you official permission to try to defeat the five legendary birds. It was decided unanimously by the ruling council of Rocket-Bane, and by Shale himself, that my battle was enough to grant a fighting badge and permission to have another Pokemon.

Two days after the fight, I walked into the breeding center again, still aching from the fight-the doctor said that he would be surprised if I stopped aching in a week-and I glanced around again, more carefully this time, and looked at all the different Pokemon that I could have.

Erin was with me again, and she pointed over to a pen holding Tyrogues, "You want one of those?" She asked.

Tyrogues were, after all, the obvious choice if I wanted to be a fighting Master, but I had decided that I wanted a well-balanced team. "No, I don't think so." I said softly, "Let's go to the bug section."

Erin shrugged, "Your call, but what kind do you want?"

I was silent for a few moments, thinking it over. What kind did I want? There were Spinaraks, which had the Spider Web attack, there were Caterpies, which grew to be a Psychic Bug, there were Weedles, which grew into a fierce fighting machine, there were Pinecos, which grew into powerful Steel-type Pokemon, Yanma, the Bug/Flying type, which could come in very handy, Venonats, which grew into powerful Psychic Bugs, Scythers, which could be evolved into the powerful Bug/Steel Pokemon, Heracross-the obvious choice if I wanted to be a fighting champion-the Bug/Fighting Pokemon, Shuckles, which were the Bug/rock type, and they would undoubtedly be tough to defeat. Faced with all these and more crying out to me to take me with them as soon as I entered the door, and I slowly made my way up and down the rows of Pokemon, then paused in front of the Shuckle Cage. They all rushed over to my side of the door and cried out, "Shuck! Shuck!" Slowly, I moved on, stopping in front of the Scyther cage, and they all stared at me silently, as if sizing me up. I held one of their gazes, and it looked away after a few seconds. Then I moved to the Weedle Cage, and they all looked up at me. Looking further on, I saw Beedrills beating against the side of their enclosure, trying to get out, and, in the enclosure next to them, Butterfrees sitting quietly. Looking down at the Weedles, I slowly smiled and let myself into the cage.

Immediately they all rushed over to me, and I watched carefully and noted the one that reached me first. Then I noticed another Weedle that was thrusting its way through the ranks of hte Weedles, trying to get to me, using brute force. One of the Weedles turned and gave it a quick rstab of its horn, and it cried out and crawled away. The one that had stabbed the other now began shoving its way through the other Weedles, and struck back at the other Weedles that struck at it.

Smiling, I called over at an attendant and pointed to the Weedle, "I want that one!"

The attendant's relief was palpable, and very noticeable in her face, "All right. You got it! That one has been a nightmare for us, and we don't have time to discipline it properly. Maybe you'll be able to." Suddenly the Weedle was dissolved into a bright red light, and that red light zipped inside a Pokeball. The attendant handed me the Pokeball, "Here, take him!"

Thanking the attendant, I moved out of the weedle enclosure and made my way outside, where Erin was waiting for me. "Got it!" I commented to her.

"Great! What kind is it?" she asked me.

I grinned and let out my Weedle. She took one look at it and blanched. Her face went pale and she screwed her eyes shut. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Opening her eyes, she acted as if she had barely heard me, and whispered, "I found out that my parents were killed by Beedrills. I had nearly forgotten about it, but then you showed me your Weedle, and it brought it all back. I saw the videos where they were executed."

I looked at the ground, and said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll recall Weedle."

Erin lay a hand on my arm, "No, don't. I need to show you something. You both need training. Follow me."

I scooped up Weedle and put it on my shoulder. "Wee!" it said, as if it were a human kid that was having fun, and put its body around my neck.

Erin was already moving down the streets towards the large lake in the center of the large cavern, not to mention the lake. I caught up with her outside a building that read, TRAINING CENTER in glittering Golden letters. "Come on!" she said, her spirits seeming to have caught up with her again, and wasnearly her old, full of energy self again, "Through here!"

Following her, for some reason it seemed as if everything was a race to her, I found myself in a building much like the Breeding Center, but it had many more rooms. "Okay, I give up, what is this place?" I asked her.

"The Training Center," she laughed, "Can't you read?"

Ouch! I deserved that though, "Yeah, yeah, but how do I train?"

Erin, still grinning, moved over to one of the doors, "Through here," she said, "There is an arena similar to the standard Indigo League arenas. There you can pit your Pokemon against Rocket-Bane Pokemon of your choosing. There is also a Pokemon Center for healing your Pokemon after battles, so that you can get back to training as quickly as possible." She opened the door and went through it, "Here," she said, "I'll show you how it works. Put Weedle out there on the Red side." The room was shadowed, but I could see the Nurse Joy in a corner, standing behind a desk, reading. In the exact Center of the room, there was a Pokeball etched onto the floor, one half of it red, the other half blue, in the EXACT center of the Pokeball, there was the button that would open up the Pokeball, if it were real.

Taking Weedle off of my shoulders, I put him in the red section of the arena. It looked at me, uncertain of what to do. I looked at Erin similarly. She motioned for me to come back to where she was sitting, at some kind of computer. "Alright, now what?" I asked.

Erin tossed a grin my way and showed me the layout of the desk which she was sitting at. Tehre were two monitors; one red, one blue, two keyboards; one red, one blue, two mouses; one red, one blue; and two buttons,a big red button and a big blue button. "First, look to see which side Your Pokemon is on, and push the respectively colored button." she pushed the red button, and suddenly, on the screen, all of Weedle's vital statistics appeared. Suddenly there was blinking on another screen. it said to pick a challenger. "Next, what you do, with this blue keyboard here, or the red keyboard, if your Pokemon is on the Blue side, is to pick the Pokemon you want. Let's say, Chikorita for now, it's a pure grass type, and your Weedle should have little trouble defeating it." she typed Chikorita onto the Blue keyboard, and pushed the blue button. Suddenly, the button that I had thought merely to be a decoration on the floor opened, and a Chikorita quickly appeared on an ascending platform. On the blue monitor, the Chikorita's vital statistics appeared. Erin got up out of the seat and said, "Now oyu just command the battle as you normally would. Every Pokemon known to man, except for the Legendary Pokemon, are available to fight against. Don't forget about the nurse Joy after the fight. It's usually a good idea to heal your Pokemon after every match. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go."

+++++

The match went really well, and I could see Weedle improving more and more with each match. Looking over his attacks, I grinned as I saw the two bug-type moves, and I promptly called Weedle Psybane. The name stuck, and she seemed happy with it. It took two months of hard training, but finally Psybane evolved into a Kakuna. after that, it was only three weeks before Psybane evolved into Beedrill. I felt bad, leaving Psybane at home while I trained Choppy at the Training Center, but it couldn't be helped. I wanted to give Psybane the most time that it could to rest up in her cacoon, since as soon as she came out, I would work her ragged.

After she evolved to Beedrill, Psybane was soon able to drop Psychics in two attacks with Twineedle, but I suggested using its Tail Stinger too and it could soon drop weak Psychics with one attack, and, after a while, we changed the name of the new move to Trineedle from Twineedle Alpha Zulu. After another week of hard training, we were ready for the next gym. the Psychic gym.

As soon as I entered the gym, I saw the gym leader directly in front of me, but as I walked towards her, I suddenly hit something. I stepped back and studied the air in front of me. "Hmm..." I thought, "There must be some kind of wall here. wait, how could there be? There's only air!" I stepped forward, and hit the something/nothing-thing-a-ma-bobber-stuff air again, "Aha!" I thought to myself, so she has found a formula to make air into a substance that acts as a solid." I looked at the air carefully, but there was still nothing there. Then I remembered that it was a Psychic gym, and that it was probably nothing more than a Psychic barrier. I had Choppy and Psybane look for holes in the invisible wall and I finally made my way to the gym leader.

She nodded her head gracefully and said, "Greetings, Thompson-Bane. Your strength will not avail you here, however; you must defeat the ways of the Psychics!"

She stood, reaching for a Pokeball when I stopped her, "Wait, can me and my Pokemon have lunch before we fight?"

She nodded, and I thought I heard a voice in my head, "She likes you."

I looked around, and thought, "Man, who was that?" I thought. Suddenly, an image popped into my mind. a figure that was standing on a pedestal with the three Legendary beasts beside it. A figure that was blue and had a long tail. Mew. "What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy?" I thought, and I could feel a chuckle in my mind.

"I want to help you. I can tell you what attacks she is going to use and how to counter them and defeat her with Choppy. Erin would be impressed, wouldn't she? after all, she likes you and so does this girl. She is impressed, I could give you more fame. Why just defeat her with Psybane? Give the masses something to talk about, and you'll become the hero of Rocket-Bane, and the bane that the name speaks of of Team Rocket..." the voice went on, and I tried to sort out my thoughts, my desires, and the strange voice in my head. They all seemed like one, my desires and the voice anyway. And Erin liking me? there was no way that was possible.

I sat there, chewing a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich, with my eyes tightly closed, but then a thought burst into my mind as I sorted out what it was suggesting that I do, yes, it might be easy, it might make me a hero, but I wouldn't be a good trainer. I would be cheating. Well, that thought hit me like a sledgehammer, and I have the bruise on my chest and back to prove it. When I thought that, the voice immediately stopped talking and I was hurled back into an invisible wall, but luckily I had just swallowed the last of my sandwich. Then the voice returned, so loud in my mind that I must have curled up in a ball, "ONE DOES NOT JUST REFUSE THE MIGHTY MEW! There is still time to change your mind..." the voice trailed off into silence, and I could almost feel the presence of Mew beside me, waiting for my answer.

I answered slowly, and out loud, "No." I said weakly, then, feeling my strength return, I said, "No, not while I have strength left in my body will I do that. It is cheating. While it may make me a legend, I would always know the truth, and it would haunt me all my life. So I will not cheat." The presence vanished as suddenly as it had begun, and I stood up, fully recovered, and noticed the gym leader looking at me with respect. Suddenly I realized that that had been a test, and Mew did it to every challenger, and that not many refused his "help".

+++++

Mew turned to the council and Carl Slate, with a satisfied smile on its face. "He has passed the test, he will not cheat."

Carl Slate blew out a breath of relief. He knew that the Council did not allow the cheaters to have more than six Pokemon, and they were never recruited for the army. So far only fifty people out of the hundreds that had challenged Sandra Tyfander had passed the test. And most of those passed only because of rumors spread by word of mouth. Tyco hadn't heard those rumors, of what kind of test Mew did, he was sure, but the Council did nothing to reprove the students that passed with help from the rumor, though the Council did try to squelch the rumors when they arose. They were at that moment considering making the tests vary from peron to person so that no test was used twice in a row.

The Council scowled at Shale as he turned around, simply staring at them. "He will never defeat The gym," the elderly man who had spoken earlier growled out, "It is simply impossible. Tyfander and her Pokemon have had years of experience! Not even his Beedrill can defeat her! There is simply no way!"

Shale scowled at the Council, "Listen to me. He has an eye for Pokemon, he has proved that with his picking of his Weedle, and he doesn't care simply about strength, or he would have picked a differentt Machop. he had no idea that his was so powerful! He wouldn't have known if Erin hadn't told him. This is exactly the kind of young man I have been trying to recruit for years! You've swelled the ranks of the army, yes, but with incompetent young men who care only about power! They haven't even defeated the birds, for pity's sake!"

the elderly chairman narrowed his eyes at Shale, "You were complaining just a few weeks ago that we didn't have enough trainers, and now you're complaining because we have them?"

Shale was getting angry, "Listen!" he spat out, "I'm trying to raise a legacy for Rocket-Bane. That legacy is that the trainers are all tough and ready to face anything that challenges them. If they aren't, then they aren't ready for battle."

The chairman stood up. "We will consider this, Shale, but for now, let us watch this young man's defeat. He is not hte kidn of material that you think he is."

Shale merely smiled and sat down, facing the video screens.

+++++

I stood in a stance that showed me ready for battle but suddenly I had an idea, grinning, I said, "Choppy, go!" The girl's face showed surprise but shrugged and said, "I am Sandra Tyfander, and I will fight against you. since you chose your Machop, you will be easily defeated. Go, Abra! Get that peanut butter off of his face."

Hurriedly I wiped my face with my hand and sucked the peanut butter off of my hand. Then I studied the situation carefully and decided what to do. Abras knew at birth only teleport, and could learn any Psychic move from any Technical Machines that were out there, this much I knew from the books on the Abra evolutionary tree which I had read. I figured that she had taught the Abra Psybeam, but I would consider it as learning Psychic and confusion as well.

Confusion and Psychic, I knew, were an area of affect attacks that could be directed at a large area. I would have to be careful if she used one of them. It was easy to tell where Psychic and Confusion were passing through, because reality itself was rippled by the passage of so much raw power. Psybeam however, while more powerful than confusion, but less so than Psychic, consisted of several rings of circles of psychic energy. This was more easily dodged, but I wasn't sure if these invisible walls had refecting abilites, if so, we would have to be more careful.

I was the first to give my command, and said, "Choppy, Agility and dodge like you never have before when she orders her attack! Just like you would if you had some of her cooking, if it's anything like my sister's." Sandra eyed me, and only me, while the Abra tracked Choppy with its eyes, then I saw that it was preparing itself, and I realized that she had given her Abra a mental command. "DODGE NOW!" I shouted. startled, the Abra let the Psybeam go straight up and it hit itself in the reflection off of an invisible wall from above it. It glared at me, and I knew that it wouldn't make the same mistake twice, and while it was occupied with glaring at me, Choppy moved in and executed a Mega Punch and rolled away, using its Rolling Kick technic.

The Abra turned away from me and used Pschic, and Choppy wheeled away as it dodged out of the very edge of the attack, and so caught only a small amount of power to damage it, but still it was weakened considerably, but the Abra was just barely holding onto consciousness, and then I saw the Max Potion in Sandra's hand, and I decided to end everything right then and there, "Karate Chop!" The Abra began to dodge, but the Karate Chop hit it squarely on the head, and it fainted.

Sandra looked from me, to Choppy, to Psybane, which still was waiting patiently for its turn, to her Abra, and her jaw dropped. She was oviously amazed that a fighting Pokemon could defeat her powerful Psychic Pokemon, which had a type advantage over Choppy. While she was staring, Choppy moved over to me and I poured a Super potion, a X Attacks, and a X Speeds onto Choppy.

Sandra suddenly glared at me, and looked frustrated with herself, pronbably for giving me a chance to prepare Choppy, and Abra returned to its Pokeball and her Alakazam appeared. It immediately used Psychic, and Choppy and I dodged in two different directions, Choppy once again using Agility. Choppy flew out of the Psychic storm easily and danced in behind the Alakazam and pounded it with Mega Punches, Karate Chops, and Rolling kicks and when it started to turn and attack Choppy, however, He used Rolling Kick so that he could stay behind Alakazam. I, however, was not so lucky. The Psychic attack burned into my mind and I cried out in pain, then, just as suddenly as it began, it was over. I now knew how my Pokemon felt when they were attacked by a Fighter or a Psychic. And it was frightening. When I could stop shaking enough to look up, an exhausted but grinning Choppy stood over the unconscious form of Sandra's Alakazam. "Choppy, return," I muttered, as my vision swam, but gradually it got better. "go, Psybane." I said, struggling to my feet.

Sandra got rid of the invisible walls at the same time that I tried to use them to get up, whether because she was mad or to let the Chansey that came to treat me through I never knew, but I fell back down anyway and glared at her. "Go! Hypno!" She cried.

"Psybane, it'll try to hypnotize you with its Pendulum so don't look at it, and-WAIT WILL YOU??? I'M TRYING TO BATTLE HERE!" This last part was directed at the Chansey, who was fussing over my bruises, and it scurried away and cowered a good ten yards away from me. Apparently it had heard about my strength. That was what saved Psybane from the same fortune as myself, since when Sandra's Hypno used Psybeam several times and scattered them all around Psybane, hoping that it would move, it wouldn't. Then the Hypno steeled itself and I could tell what was going to happen next, "Dodge the Psychic Psybane!" I shouted, and the bug was startled out of its momentary self-freeze. It jumped up to above the level of attack. Apparently the Hypno had been sure that Psybane wouldn't dodge, and concentrated its energy into a box smaller than usual, and thus making it more powerful. But it missed by a good three yards. "TAIL WHIP B!" I shouted, feeling the adrenalin soaring through my vanes, and I was jumping up and down now, and I must have looked like an idiot, well, actually I said I was myself when I saw myself in the film that they made of the battle later. Tail Whip B was another move that Psybane and I had thought up. It was similar to the Fire Spin of Fire Pokemon, but instead of heating flame up and sending it to the one being attacked, Psybane would get in close and spin around several times, tail stinger stiffened, hitting the enemy with its tail stinger at such an angle as to close as much damage as possible up to five times.

It worked perfectly, the Hypno was still recovering from the massive blast of energy that it had sent out, and Psybane was as fast as Choppy had been with Agility and the X Speed. Hypno was hit five times by the stinger, and with the last hit, it flopped over onto its stomach, but then got up and caught Psybane in a Psychic so narrow that it almost looked like a Psybeam, and I winced, remembering the Alakazam's attack. Psybane responded before I could say anything. It used Trineedle, over and over, absorbing three Psychics, until Hypno fell to the ground, unconscious. Sandra's face was getting redder and redder, and sent out both of her last Pokemon at once, and immediately I reached for Choppy's Pokeball, but then I realized that I too would be cheating if I did the same as Sandra.

Mew appeared between Psybane and Sandra's Drowzee and Kadabra and Psybane, and tried to stop the battle, but I, still mad at Mew for trying to get me to cheat, shouted, "Psybane, Trineedle and Tail Whip B!"

Mew looked up at me sharply, as if not believing what I had just ordered Psybane to do, but then it felt Psybanes stingers and howled in agony, then turned to smash Psybane, but she had already moved, and was now using Tail Whip B at Mew's face. Mew's tail lashed out at Psybane, and caught her and spun her away, but Psybane came back as surely as a boomerang and stabbed down Mew's tail with its tail stinger and used Twineedle on Mew.

I could see Mew's eyes go wide, and then Mew was able to rip its tail out of the ground and lash it at Psybane, who went off in the direction of the wall, but managed to stop herself just before she hit. Mew wasn't taking any chances and sent a Psychic at Psybane, but Psybane dodged and charged Mew's face, who teleported to safety. Psybane changed her direction slightly and gained even more speed, if that was possible, and moved one stinger to point at both Pokemon, who fell to the ground after the stinger left a gash in them, and Psybane used Tail Whip B once on Sandra for good measure, or at least she thought. "THAT IS ENOUGH PSYBANE!" I roared, "Psybane, Return, Go! Chopper!" Choppy appeared and looked at me like it was annoyed at my forgetting its name.

Choppy did a series of flips that Kadabra and Drowzee prepared for an attack that never really came. Choppy jumped to the ceiling and pounded both fists and both feet in, then dropped as two Psychics followed him up there. The Psychic attacks dropped two chunks of ceiling directly on top of Sandra's last two Pokemon, and Choppy rolled towards me. When the dust cleared, the Drowzee and Kadabra were unconscious. Then I saw why. this was no ordinary ceiling, no sirree. This was rock, I mean stone...LIMESTONE!!!! six inches thick!!!!

Choppy and I bowed to Sandra who scowled and returned her Pokemon. Suddenly, Mew appeared behind me, and, without thinking, I released Psybane. I don't know what it was, but maybe it was my anger at being tempted poking through, maybe I thought that Mew was somehow part of this gym's test, and it was supposed to be the last one visited, but, in any case, Before Mew could say a word, I spun and executed a spinning kick in the air which I had practiced a lot since the fighting gym battle, and hit Mew squarely in the side of the head, which drove it back. Choppy moved in to the side of me and we both charged, but were beaten to the draw by Psybane, who used Trineedle on Mew then danced away, just out of reach. Psybane danced out of the way of Mew's retaliation: Psybeams, occasionally getting caught in one, but VERY rarely, while I yanked on Mew's tail and Choppy moved in and attacked Mew with Mega Punches and Mega Kicks.

We kept doing this, and I have several scars from that tail when it hit me hard sometimes. Suddenly Mew's fist connected suddenly with Psybane and knocked her clear across the room. Mew turned to Choppy and me, and I saw fury in its face. It roared and Choppy cowered, but I stood strong, Mew sent a Psybeam at me, and I dodged it, barely, and Choppy cried out and charged Mew, boy, was that a mistake. I was able to keep Choppy from fainting by grabbing Mew's leg, toppling Mew-making it even more mad-another mistake. Mew glared down at me, still clutching its foot for all I was worth, and sent a Psychic drilling directly into me. My mind burned again with the same pain as last time, but this time it was magnified by ten thousand, and I succumbed to the blackness that so easily, it seemed, engulfed me.

+++++

As I saw from the vids later, Mew looked shocked when it saw me down on the floor, as if it had suddenly broken out of a Rage. Choppy and Psybane charged in at the exact moment that Mew bent down to see if I was ok. I think that I would have woken up sooner since Mew would have healed me, but Choppy's Mega Punch and Psybane's Trineedle hit at the same time on opposite sides of Mew's head. Mew shook them off and staggered back, looking around dazedly, and, I saw later, in fear. Psybane and Choppy pressed the attack, but Psybane was hit by Mew's tail then engulfed by a Psychic and flew up into the air. Psybane's wings came apart and she glided to the other side of the gym, a good three guarters of a mile across in and of itself, but Choppy dove in and delivered the final blows, glancing now and then at me and it became determined and rained blow after blow harder and harder, faster and faster as he was attacked by Mew with Psychics, and held on by sheer willpower and rage that I was unconscious. I hadn't realized that Machops knew the Rage move, ut I saw later that Choppy was using it, and using it with a veangance. After about a minute of this, the Legendary Pokemon fell to the ground with a thud that could be felt, it was said, for a mile, at the same time as the unconscious Beedrill finally plowed into the ground at the far end of the gym.

Choppy stared down in disbelief at Mew, then hurried over to the Chansey and started chattering away pointing at me, then Mew, then Psybane. Ten Blisseys came in, I learned later to help me, just then, and saw Mew. All but two rushed over to Mew and fussed over it. The remaining Blisseys two rushed over to me, which left the Chansey to run over to Psybane.

+++++

Shale said nothing, but merely fixed the chairman with a stare, then left the room.

+++++
+++++

*sniffs*

I missed Psybane.

I'm glad that I'm gonna be getting back into this again.

minus the Mew fight and the Tyco/Machop fight, obviously...

Ash_Junior
4th November 2005, 8:53 PM
"He's finally coming around," I heard someone say, but I couldn't see her! I panicked, and realized that I was in a dream...then, I realized, I couldn't see anything! Adrenalin pumped through my body and I realized tht I had my eyes screwed shut. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a white hospital room and Carl Slate was sitting in a chair by my bed. He looked me over carefully, and when I turned my head, my head suddenly hurt, but not very much, just like a minor headache.

I groaned and put my hand to my head. "Oh man, How many mistakes did I do in attacking Mew? Psybane and Choppy are in bad shape I bet, espewcially Choppy." I said, sighing and leaning back into the pillows and staring at the wall in front of me.

Suddenly I was startled by a "Mach," and a "Beedrill." I jerked my head to see what was going on and my head reeled with pain, and my vision clouded. When it cleared, I saw Choppy with bandaged hands, and Psybane looking really hurt with wrinkled wings and bent antennae. But they were both there, waiting for me to wake up. No...that couldn't be Choppy, could it? What was a Machoke doing there?

I looked over at Professor Slate, more carefully this time, and asked, "Where's Choppy?"

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because the Professor chuckled and said, "You were just looking at him. After he defeated Mew he evolved into Machoke."

My head was spinning and I saw my vision swimming, "Whoa! CHOPPY defeated Mew??? But, but, but Choppy is a fighter and Mew is a psychic!" I glanced over at the Machoke, who came over and sat down next to the bed, but its head was still level with mine. I shook my head, and my vision returned to normal, It's face certainly LOOKED like Choppy...but...was it possible? Except right now, Choppy looked a little annoyed at my doubting him.

the graying old man laughed softly, "Yes, he defeated Mew...It was hard to see by the replays exactly how. By all rights he should have fainted long before he did. He actually fainted a few seconds after some Blisseys started helping you. That was about thirty seconds after Mew fainted."

I smiled, stroking Choppy, when suddenly I felt a presence getting closer, and closer, it was Mew, and with each step that it took towards me, the pain in my head increased, until it was too much and my vision went black and I heard myself crying out even as I went unconscious.

+++++

I awoke to Erin looking at me anxiously, with Choppy and Psybane behind her, also looking at me anxiously. I groaned and stretched as much as I could in the confines of the bed. "Oh man, how long are they gonna keep me in here? I can't wait to get my next Pokemon...How long have I been in here anyway?" I asked her.

She looked at me solemnly and said, "Well, you were unconscious for two days after the gym fight, then you were in a coma for a week and a half after you suddenly went unconscious again. The doctor's given you a clean bill of health though, so we can go get a Pokemon for you."

"Now you're talking!" I said, rolling the covers back and jumping out of the hospital bed. I noticed that the IV that I had had in my hand when I had woken up before had been removed, and that They hadn't changed me out of my clothes that I was wearing in the gym fight. "Let's go!" I said, but suddenly my vision swam a little and I staggered but managed to catch myself, shook my head and my vision was fine.

+++++

In the breeeding Center, I didn't even consider going anywhere else and went immediately to the Rock-type Pokemon and selected an Onix. Erin said, "So...which gym are you planning on visiting now?"

I shrugged and said, "Well, this little guy has to train a little before he can be ready for a fight." The last four gyms were the fire, Water, Grass, and Electric types. I had chosen Onix planning on taking on the Electric gym, then the Fire gym. After I had beaten all of the four gyms here, then I would be ready to face the Legendary birds. But I changed my mind, "Actually, how about we pop by the grass gym? get good old Psybane here some more experience." I stroked Psybane underneath the chin, and she seemed to like that.

+++++

The first thing that I noticed when I was outside the gym building was the different decorations on the outside wall that I had never really noticed before. the Fire gym had torches and a drawing of one of Cinnabar Volcano's more spectacular eruptions. The grass gym had vines, flower boxes, and lush vegetation growing all over it. The psychic gym had 3-D pictures; the water gym had a water fountain and a pond with Mgikarp swimming around in it; and the Electric gym Power lines, electrical generators out front, and illustrations of thunderstorms, plus you could almost feel electricity thrumming in the air, you could sure hear it, especially with the generators.

I smiled and pushed open the door to the Grass gym. inside was the same lush forest as outside, and there were two Venasaurs to greet us inside. They merely looked at us uninterestedly as we walked in, and then one bellowed at a region that was deeper inside the gym. As I waited there, I noticed that it was humid, very humid, and thought that a water type might have had quite a bit of luck in here. Erin walked in behind me and sat in a corner to watch the fight, unbeknownst to me.

The bushes parted...and the gym leader stepped out. I sighed, why did the last two gym leaders that I had seen been girls? With my luck the rest would be girls too. And I wasn't sure if there were gyms up above as well. I don't like beating up girl's Pokemon, but sometimes I have no choice. She was small, and could be said by many as cute, but I never had much use for girls really. She had green eyes, and had probably had died her hair to tht green color, and wore camouflage pants along with a camo jacket.

She nodded at me , "Hello, my name is Patricia Hadridnofel. But you better not call me Miss Haridnofel, and I better not hear you say my last name anywhre, or I'll come personally and give you a black eye! Standard rules. all versus all. Ready?"

I released all of my Pokemon and set Onix and Choppy back to watch the fight. Then, with Psybane beside me, I shrugged and said, "Sure, why wouldn't I be? I've been ready for quite a while now. GO ROCKY!" I shouted the last two words.

She grinned and as the Onix slithered forward to get ready for a fight. She eyed him with disdain and called out a Bellossom. She grinned up at me and said, "Bell, use Razor Leaf!"

"Return Rocky! Go! Tyco!" Rocky returned to his place behind me and I strode forward and dove to the right to avoid the leaves that sped towards me. Pat, well she just eyed me, sort of like she was hungry, why it was, I have no idea. and said, "Return, Bellossom, Go Pat!"

She strode forward and took off her camo jacket. Well, I have to admit that I must have gotten really red right then, because my face felt really hot, until I realized that she had a T-shirt on underneath. She started with an uppercut and a kick designed to swipe my legs out from under me. I moved with the blow and went backwards, but her leg tripped me up and I went sprawling to the ground. I grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it into her eyes and then charged her. Well, I didn't feel right headbutting a woman, or a girl, in the stomach, so I stopped and punched her on the side of the head. She must have been either been able to get some of the dirt out of her eyes, or sense where the punch was coming from, or both, since she responded with a kick to where the legs meet. I jumped up with it, trying to take some of the blow away by going in the same direction, grabbed her leg and performed a somersault over her body and doing a spinning back kick. For some reason, it seemed like she was enjoying this more than having our Pokemon battle. Until the kick hit her in the back of the head and she staggered forward, so I came in, and let loose a jab and just grazed the side of her ear as she stepped away, anticipating the attack. I took my leg and tripped her this time, and then rolled away, waiting for her to get up. She glared at me, coughing, and getting the last of the dirt out of her eyes then said, "Pat, return...go VENASUAR!" I stood there, like an idiot, waiting for it to come out of its Pokeball, but it never came. Suddenly Rocky roared and I dove to the left, just barely missing a Sunbeam attack.

I rolled to face one of the two Venasaurs that had guarded the door as I came in and mentally kick myself. I should have figured that they were more than mere door guards. It used a Razor Leaf, and I caught one on my left arm, a glancing leaf on my forehead, and another on my right leg, but that was it, as I had jumped up and crouched in the air when it was almost to me.

I decided to take the offensive, and decided that the best way to do that was to withdraw myself, "RETURN TYCO! GO PSYBANE!!! TRINEEDLE!!!" the Venasaur let loose with another Razor Leaf just as I said this and tried to switch the aim to Psybane, but it went between us and just barely missed Pat, who looked really mad.

"VENASAUR!!! BACK KICK!!" Pat shouted out, and I glanced at her, startled. The Venasaur roared as it recieved the Trineedle, then shook off Psybane and stood up on its forelegs and gave Psybane a good solid kick with both legs. The kick hit Psybane on the wings, as the body was too small a target, so I shouted out, "TAIL WHIP B, FOLLOWED BY TRINEEDLE, THEN TAIL WHIP B!"

It worked perfectly, and her Venasaur was out like a light. "Psybane, return, go Choppy!" I said, and she looked up at me. She had probably expected me to use everyone in my team, and Choppy's fame had grown. But she did not look the least bit nervous, "Exxegcutor, GO!" she said, and it was my turn to be nervous.

The part plant, part psychic Exxegcutor is the evolved form of Exxegcute. Those two combinations made it very deadly, and I almost regretted sending Choppy out against Exxegcutor. Almost. I tossed Choppy an X-Speed, and Choppy caught it and used Agility, our patented (well, not quite) opening to a battle, and we turned to face the Exxegcutor. She had probably guessed that I would send out Choppy, so she would have taught it Psychic, and maybe Psybeam, but I doubted she would have taught it Confusion. It would probably also know Razor Leaf and Leech Life. I had no idea if there would be any other moves that it knew.

"Eggy, use Psychic, followed by Psybeam." She said, looking directly at me. I just smiled and started whistling, and she looked at me, confused. While her attention was directed at me, Choppy caught the tune, however, and followed my instructions to dodge the Psychic. "Eggy" was also confused and looked at its master, inadvertatly sending the Psybeam right at Pat. She clawed at her face as the Psybeam entered her body, and I winced in sympathetic pain. Erin burst out of the bushes behind me as we both decided the battle would go on hold and we checked her injuries.

Pat groaned and shoved us away from her. "Get off of me...okay? I'm fine...EGGY PSYCHIC!" The egg Pokemon looked startled and snapped off a quick shot at Choppy, who quickly danced out of the way, and landed a Karate Chop on the Pokemon's head, rendering it unconscious.

"Choppy, return, go ROCKY!" I shouted out, and Choppy ran to the place near the entrance where I had been and waited. Rocky slithered forward, and loked up at me, grinning. Pat sneered and let out a Bulbasaur. I picked up Rocky and threw him towards the Bulbasaur, "BIND!" I shouted out, and Rocky bound up that Bulbasaur up tight. "NOW BITE IT!" I shouted, feeling adrenaline pump through my veins. Rocky obeyed, and the Bulbasaur struggled to get free, "KEEP DOING IT!!! KEEP DOING IT!!!" I was jumping up and down again, rubbing my hands together and acting really hyper, and probably making a fool of myself.

Pat scowled as she watched the Bulbasaur faint. She scowled, "Bulby, return, Go Vine Master!" She gave me a smirk that said, "Now you die."

"Rocky, Return!" I shouted, not wanting any of my Pokemon to faint, "Go Psybane!" Rocky hurried back to its watching place next to the door, and watched Psybane fly from above the Onix and charge the Venasaur. "Tri B!" I shouted, trying to get it to use both Tail Whip B and Trineedle. It didn't work. Well, it didn't work the way I expected it too. You see, Psybane started spinning ridiculously fast, then I tossed it an X-speed, and it just became a blur with an occasional stinger being seen here and there in a blur. Then it sped, still spinning, towards the Venasaur, who was jut standing there, confused. The Tail Whip B hit, and it staggered back because of the sheer speed of the blows, until it was driven back against the wall. Then Psybane used Trineedle, and the Venasaur managed a brief flurry of leaves that stuck into Psybane's body, then Psybane was back on the offensive, used Trineedle, and it was over.

Pat glared at me and sent out her final Pokemon. A rare Tangela. Looking more like a ball of yarn than anything else, the Tangela was a grass type, and I wondered where she got her Tangela. It could probably use Vine Whip and any moves like constrict, bind, etc. Plus, it probably had a few surprises thrown in. This one was bright orange, very unusual, since most were somewhere around turquoise in color. She glared at me with what can only be called something close to fury and shouted out in a clear, strong voice, "Flamethrower!"

I wasn't expecting a fire move like that, and it caught me off guard, but I managed, "Dodge, and attack with Trineedle!"

Psybane dodged the flames, but as it was coming in on its attack run, it was captured in a Vine Whip, then, when it was released and began its atack once more, it was constricted. Psybane struggled, and managed to get one of its stingers into the vines that held it. The Tangela then used Constrict, and shot out vines that covered Psybane completely. Psybane's stingers were straight at its side, andit looked like it was caught in an Ariados' web. Finally, Psybane was let go, and it hovered, looking tiredly at the Tangela. The Tangela tried to Bind it, but Psybane somehow kept itself above the vines reaching towards it, and used Trineedle. The Tangela caught Psybane in a Bind as it flew off, weaving back and forth, and then, after some time, let it go. Pat was looking triumphantly at me now, but I still had one idea up my sleeve.

Pat shouted, "Tang, constrict!" She smirked as she watched the vines coming out towards Psybane one last time...or so she thought.

"Psybane!" I shouted out, "Tail Whip B!" The plan worked perfectly, and, as the vines were almost to Psybane, she went horizontal and spun laterally, using its stingers to hit the vines reaching out for it. The Tangela cried out in pain and withdrew the vines, and I shouted, "Tail whip B it!"

Pat opened her mouth to shout out an order, but Psybane stuck a stinger into one of the receding vines, and was drawn towards the Tangela. Pat stared in horror and in disbelief as Psybane got even more tangled up, and, as the Tangela and Psybane fought to get free of each other, Psybane was hitting it with her stingers. Psybane finally got free, and it took only a Trineedle to finish off the Tangela. Pat and I both stared at each other, mouths open. I hadn't given the order to Psybane to do that OR use Trineedle that last time.

Pat bowed to me and said, "I have never seen anyone fight like that. Would you go out with..." she trailed off as she looked over my shoulder, then she said, "Um...never mind, I was just kidding."

I turned to see Erin standing there. I glanced back at Pat and said, "We're not a couple, exactly, you see-"

Pat grinned happily, "Great! I'll pick you up at seven!" She returned her Tangela and ran out the door.

I walked over to the wall, and started banging my head against it and finished what I was going to say, "But I don't want to go on a date with anyone anyhow!" I glanced over at Erin, "Is she always like this?"

Erin glared at me for some unknown reason, and said, "Yeah, she's always a whirlwind, and she goes out with trainers that she thinks will be the best." She whirled and stomped through the door.

I glanced over at Rocky, "Lesson number one about human girls. they are strange."

Erin yelled over her shoulder, "I heard that!"

I mumbled, knowing she wouldn't hear me, "Yeah, but wouldn't that also apply to Pat?" I glanced over at Choppy, "Why do I always have bad luck after I beat gyms?"

I sighed, stuffed my hands into my pockets, and trudged out the door, kicking a pebble that happened to be on the concrete outside the doors. I would never understand girls or women as long as I lived.


+++++
+++++

okay a few things to keep in mind:

1) I know it's super unrealistic, but this was written a while ago. bear with me.

2) the reason why he passed out at the end of the first segment is because Mew was getting close, and I was thinking bck then (still do) that a Psychic attack, when sent into a relatively defenselss brain such as ours, causes a lot of neural damage, but also causes a kind of neural imprint that connects the victim and the attacker. In most cases, the cause of the neural imprint are negligible. but in this case, Mew was so strong that the imprint remained, and was actually doing more damage as Mew was getting closer.

3) this is the last real chapter of the original Retribution, with a novelty (read: the date) chapter and a chapter that I once wrote as the final chapter of Retribution, but even back then I thought was terrible. I'll put both of 'em up here for old time's sake...for those of you who liked the Unlikely Heroes version of Retribution, I'll be startign a new thread where ONLY that will be, so people don't get confused....that'll be up somewhere in the Nov. 13-15 range (this is to incorporate your suggestions [see below], and to let me start wrapping up Operation: Celebi, so it'll make a bit more sense, if any of you are reading that...*rolls eyes* yeah, I know, it's too long, and you'd have to read HHNF first to get Lorelei's backstory....who is turning into the main character in O:C....*glances at Saffire. However, if you don't wanna read the 110+ pages of O:C that I have now, with more coming, and the 155 pages of HHNF, don't worry, I'll explain things for you, so you don't necessarily need to read 'em. Let it never be said that I don't have backstories, lol...I've got 265+ pages of backstory for this right now, and there's gonna be even more....and there's still another fic in the Engaran Wars Trilogy after this! :D)

4) Pat is one of my favorite characters, and she is coming back in the new version, definitely, along with three new teenagers (two girls, one guy). Choppy will return, as will Psybane (actually, there's an emotional attachment between me and Tyco's pokes [minus Rocky] because this is the...second fic I ever started, I think, so they'll definitely be returning), plus a cooler, more realistic version of the Training Center, a new reason for Tyco to join Rocket-Bane, more realism in general...In other words....more betterness! :D

5) if you see somethign that I haven't mentioned (or that I HAVE mentioned), please tell me and it may just show up in the new version...anything and everything, from the rocks in Tyco's pocket/the torch thing, to Tyco's date, whatever....however it may not get in, just to warn you. so don't be too POed if it doesn't come into it, because I've got a lot to go over in the fic, and not enough space in ten pages (otherwise itgets too much for you guys :P ) to write it.

EDIT: if you want me to leave something out, put that in your posts too. however, please do NOT mention the Mew thing or the Tyco/Machop thing. those things are definitely out of the new version, so rest easy. /EDIT

6) if you want any explanations of things of the original version (or Chapter 1 of the UH version), ask 'em...it'll probably help make the new version better.

7) up next: Tyco/Pat date....*drools*

hands down, it's the funniest thing I have EVER written. if it weren't so heavily Retribution, I'd post it as a one-shot. I may just do that anyway....:D

lemme know after you read it if you want me to post it again later (a few weeks down the road) as a one-shot.

I hope you guys do...it's REALLY hilarious.

Ash_Junior
7th November 2005, 4:05 PM
So there I was, feeling sorry for myself, after having beaten a few gyms. Who cares that most of them were girls. I wanted to be a bachelor!!!! I didn’t want a date! Looking over at Rocky, I grinned, “At least I don’t have to go to the hospital this time! Well, that won’t be true by the looks of Erin, if I DO go out with Pam.”

Walking down the street, I came along a shop that I had seen many times, but this time it had something new in the window…something I just HAD to buy. It proclaimed itself as girl repellent. I was just about to go in and buy it, when I remembered that Psybane was a girl. Oops!

Finally, I reached the Pokemon Center and gave my Pokemon to Nurse Joy, then walked to the Breedery. After passing several doors, I paused in front of the dragon door. Grinning to myself, I walked in, and soon I was the proud owner of a small, weak Magikarp! This earned me strange looks, but I merely grinned mischievously to myself. The scuttlebutt around town was that Pam hated both weak and fish pokemon. This way, I could give her both! Scuttling on home, I made my preparations for the date. Consisting of twelve boxes of hair dye that could be washed out, a really grungy Pokeball, bell-bottoms, and a colorful shirt.

Two hours later…

Pat put the finishing touches on her makeup and turned to her Bulbasaur, “What do you think?” she asked.

It nodded its head and emitted a small cry: “Bulba!”

Pat looked one last time in the mirror and heard a knock on the door. Brushing her hair one last time, and checking to make sure her earrings were perfect, she went to the door and opened it. The bizarre figure standing in the doorway gave her what to some might be considered a “V for victory,” and said, “Peace!”

Pat closed the door hurriedly, “Can’t these weirdos…” she trailed off, deep in thought, then cautiously opened the door again. “Tyco?” she asked incredulously when she saw me standing there just as I had been before she slammed the door in my face, “What happened to you?”

I grinned goofily, “Just trying to look good for our date!”

She looked me up and down, “Are you normally wearing a tie dye shirt? And what happened to your hair? It looks like it collided with a paint truck!”

I smiled, “Oh, just trying a few new colors,” knowing that was a massive understatement, as my hair was like a rainbow, with a few extra colors thrown in here and there, “Why, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

Making a face, she said, “Nothing, Let’s just go. Where are we going?”

Grinning at her, I said mischievously, “Somewhere where you’ve probably never been, doing something that I am sure you’ve never done!”

Now she began to smile, “I wouldn’t count on it, but let’s go.”


It turned out that it was her first time fishing, and she complained to no end that she didn’t like water, and when I asked her why she came with me then, she said something rather not nice that I won’t say for fear young children may be reading this.

Casting her rod out into the water, she began complaining again, “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t we go exploring?”

“Okay,” I said, thinking up a diabolical plan worthy of myself, “Let’s go!”

After reeling in her line, she put the rod down, well, actually threw it down, well, she broke it, and began heading off to the right, so naturally I headed to the left. “Where are you going?” She called out after me.

“Exploring!” I called back.

“But we’re supposed to do it together!” she protested loudly.

I stopped, “Oh…okay…let’s go exploring then…”

“But I have to get cleaned up!” Pat complained, looking down at her mud-streaked Half-shirt that I had thought was a swimsuit top to start with.

“Come on! Where’s your sense of adventure?” I prodded her.


I asked her the same question half an hour later, and she muttered, “I left it in my other dress.” Then she looked up at me and asked, “Are you sure that you know where you’re going?”

“Me know where I’m going? I was following you!” I replied.

Suddenly I my head popped out of a hole and realized that I was right back where I started. “Ah, we’re back at the lake. Since you broke your rod, let’s go to the movies!”

Pat immediately brightened, “Sure! I heard that there’s a really good movie there!”


After going into the romance movie, she found out that I was no longer with her, and she went out to find me in line for a movie that some people described as babyish. I thought so too, but I figured that I had better humiliate her as much as possible if I wanted her to hate me enough to get out of there.

Midway through the movie, a kid that I had hired started poking me, and I poked back, and Pat started snuggling into me. That was it. I gave the signal to kick things up a notch to the other kid. I punched him in the side of the face. Soon we were rolling around on the floor, Pat was screaming for me to knock it off, and all of the little kids were calling for a Pokemon fight, which we soon began.

Halfway through, I noticed Pat storming up the hall, and paid the kid the money that he had asked for, and finished the fight. It turned out that I won my money back, and not a penny more. Bowing to the audience, I got my opponent’s instant messenger Screen-name, and walked up the aisle, out the door, and bought a ticket for the romantic movie, which was about to start, and, by my own arrangement, walked into the bathroom, washed the die out of my hair, changed, and went in and sat next to Erin. I enjoyed the rest of my night. Looking down towards the front row, I saw that Pat had gotten herself into a fight So, naturally, I cheered for her opponent. As she was coming up the aisle, beaten badly, she looked my way, but I avoided her gaze by pretending to be interested in something on the wall in the direction so I wouldn’t face her.

Dating is fun!


+++++
+++++

o.0

at the risk of sounding like a whiner....

why don't I get any reviews, I wonder...

seriously.

most of the other fics generally get at least 2/chapter.

I'm lucky if I get 1/two chapters.

lol.

oh well...

Ash_Junior
12th November 2005, 6:12 AM
So there I was, feeling sorry for myself, after having beaten a few gyms. Who cares that most of them were girls. I wanted to be a bachelor!!!! I didn’t want a date! Looking over at Rocky, I grinned, “At least I don’t have to go to the hospital this time! Well, that won’t be true by the looks of Erin, if I DO go out with Pam.

Walking down the street, I came along a shop that I had seen many times, but this time it had something new in the window…something I just HAD to buy. It proclaimed itself as girl repellent. I was just about to go in and buy it, when I remembered that Psybane was a girl. Oops!

Finally, I reached the Pokemon Center and gave my Pokemon to Nurse Joy, then walked to the Breedery. After passing several doors, I paused in front of the dragon door. Grinning to myself, I walked in, and soon I was the proud owner of a small, weak Magikarp! This earned me strange looks, but I merely grinned mischievously to myself. The scuttlebutt around town was that Pam hated both weak and fish pokemon. This way, I could give her both! Scuttling on home, I made my preparations for the date. Consisting of twelve boxes of hair dye that could be washed out, a really grungy Pokeball, bell-bottoms, and a colorful shirt.

Two hours later

Pat put the finishing touches on her makeup and turned to her Bulbasaur, “What do you think?” she asked.

It nodded its head and emitted a small cry: “Bulba!”

Pat looked one last time in the mirror and heard a knock on the door. Brushing her hair one last time, and checking to make sure her earrings were perfect, she went to the door and opened it. The bizarre figure standing in the doorway gave her what to some might be considered a “V for victory,” and said, “Peace!”

Pat closed the door hurriedly, “Can’t these weirdos…” she trailed off, deep in thought, then cautiously opened the door again. “Tyco?” she asked incredulously when she saw me standing there just as I had been before she slammed the door in my face, “What happened to you?”

I grinned goofily, “Just trying to look good for our date!”

She looked me up and down, “Are you normally wearing a tie dye shirt? And what happened to your hair? It looks like it collided with a paint truck!”

I smiled, “Oh, just trying a few new colors,” knowing that was a massive understatement, as my hair was like a rainbow, with a few extra colors thrown in here and there, “Why, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

Making a face, she said, “Nothing, Let’s just go. Where are we going?”

Grinning at her, I said mischievously, “Somewhere where you’ve probably never been, doing something that I am sure you’ve never done!”

Now she began to smile, “I wouldn’t count on it, but let’s go.”

+++++

It turned out that it was her first time fishing, and she complained to no end that she didn’t like water, and when I asked her why she came with me then, she said something rather not nice that I won’t say for fear young children may be reading this.

Casting her rod out into the water, she began complaining again, “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t we go exploring?”

“Okay,” I said, thinking up a diabolical plan worthy of myself, “Let’s go!”

After reeling in her line, she put the rod down, well, actually threw it down, well, she broke it, and began heading off to the right, so naturally I headed to the left. “Where are you going?” She called out after me.

“Exploring!” I called back.

“But we’re supposed to do it together!” she protested loudly.

I stopped, “Oh…okay…let’s go exploring then…”

“But I have to get cleaned up!” Pat complained, looking down at her mud-streaked Half-shirt that I had thought was a swimsuit top to start with.

“Come on! Where’s your sense of adventure?” I prodded her.

+++++

I asked her the same question half an hour later, and she muttered, “I left it in my other dress.” Then she looked up at me and asked, “Are you sure that you know where you’re going?”

“Me know where I’m going? I was following you!” I replied.

Suddenly I my head popped out of a hole and realized that I was right back where I started. “Ah, we’re back at the lake. Since you broke your rod, let’s go to the movies!”

Pat immediately brightened, “Sure! I heard that there’s a really good movie there!”

+++++

After going into the romance movie, she found out that I was no longer with her, and she went out to find me in line for a movie that some people described as babyish. I thought so too, but I figured that I had better humiliate her as much as possible if I wanted her to hate me enough to get out of there.

Midway through the movie, a kid that I had hired started poking me, and I poked back, and Pat started snuggling into me. That was it. I gave the signal to kick things up a notch to the other kid. I punched him in the side of the face. Soon we were rolling around on the floor, Pat was screaming for me to knock it off, and all of the little kids were calling for a Pokemon fight, which we soon began.

Halfway through, I noticed Pat storming up the hall, and paid the kid the money that he had asked for, and finished the fight. It turned out that I won my money back, and not a penny more. Bowing to the audience, I got my opponent’s instant messenger Screen-name, and walked up the aisle, out the door, and bought a ticket for the romantic movie, which was about to start, and, by my own arrangement, walked into the bathroom, washed the die out of my hair, changed, and went in and sat next to Erin. I enjoyed the rest of my night. Looking down towards the front row, I saw that Pat had gotten herself into a fight So, naturally, I cheered for her opponent. As she was coming up the aisle, beaten badly, she looked my way, but I avoided her gaze by pretending to be interested in something on the wall in the direction so I wouldn’t face her.

Dating is Fun!

+++++
+++++

well, there you are. An insanity thing in a non-script version...:D

I'm gonna be pushing back the release of the newer version of Retribution indefinitely....

just so ya all know.

as usual, post reviews, please, and lemme know what you guys think, and what you want me to keep.

don't worry, there will be a variant of this chapter in there.

Saffire Persian
16th November 2005, 4:51 AM
*reads the section when Tyco faints after getting hugged by a girl: Grow a Spine, man! Exhausted or not, GROW A SPINE!!!*

*cough* Now that that's otherwith, I do like Psybane though... like maybe I've said before, I dunno 0_o.. Picking up where I left off. And note, that's the only chapter this review counts for.


She nodded her head gracefully and said, "Greetings, Thompson-Bane. Your strength will not avail you here, however; you must defeat the ways of the Psychics!"

She stood, reaching for a Pokeball when I stopped her, "Wait, can me and my Pokemon have lunch before we fight?"


... *dies* To think we can improve so much upon that. And hopefully Mew will stay cut out, and Tyco doesn't faint about being hugged by a girl, and Psybane doesn't become some ridiculously powerful bug-psychic slayer of DOOM! That will PWN YOU ALL![/insanity]

You understand I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing with you *cough* It has made a pretty amusing read at times, while others made me wonder what exactly was going through your head.

Still, I'll read on, forgive my sporadic and lacking reviews at this time.

Ash_Junior
16th November 2005, 4:00 PM
heh....I know what you mean.

I amped up the Pokes so much it's not even funny.

glad I could make you laugh tho.

and yes, Mew WILL stay cut out.

well, he'll still be in Rocket-Bane, but he won't fight Tyco.

Saffire Persian
19th November 2005, 1:28 AM
You wonder why you don't get reviews? XDXDXD.. because despite the fact that your showing the old version with the new, many people probably see the old.. and go 'what the heck'.

I do give them ample reason for that, because I can't believe how insane this thing was. Literally insane - and Tyco "stroking" the Machoke.... creepy mind picture there - very creepy... I KNOW I wasn't supposed to mention the two..but meh.

I can understand the part about neural damage - it makes a lot of sense. Being struck in the head by anything is never good. XD... especially for Tyco at this point and time.. he can't afford it.

Psybane, despite the ooberness she holds - which I oddly don't mind as much.. I dunno.. Beedrill are just awesome.. and I'm NOT a fan of bug-types.... other than Scyther.

And please reassure me that Pat will not continue with the Nicknames that are currently making me cringe - Eggy? For her real personality I'm envisioning, I can't see her calling ANY Pokemon something like that. ^^ I do like the personality that Pat seems to potentially have (which w ill no doubt be fleshed out in the new version" - and I like it. Quote: "Now you die."

Ash_Junior
21st November 2005, 6:23 PM
:D

yeah, don't worry, I'll be posting the new version in a separate thread, lol.

glad you like it.

don't worry, I won't carry over all those newbie mistakes into the new version.

but I'm definitely keeping Pat and Psybane (Psybane RULES! she's probably my fav poke from ANY of my fan fics)

Saffire Persian
7th December 2005, 1:12 AM
*Looks around sneakily and posts a review*

Been awhile, no?

Anyways.. t he last two chapters were definitely..erm...something.

There's nothing like a bit of "angst" over.


I grinned goofily, “Just trying to look good for our date!”

She looked me up and down, “Are you normally wearing a tie dye shirt? And what happened to your hair? It looks like it collided with a paint truck!”

...XD Another good question: What psychological disease(es) does this boy suffer from? Or was he just dropped on the head as a child once too many times.

And quite frankly.. he's stupid. I would never consent on going on a date with this guy. Ever.

"I was just following you."

*eyes* >.> That's just sad.

I hope to see the revised version some time or other. >.>

Ash_Junior
7th December 2005, 4:39 AM
heh...I should put this up on ff.net and proclaim: finally, someone denser than Ash Ketchum!

I know what you mean, though...

I look back through it and shudder.

sorry about not getting the newer version up.

RL has been catching up to me, what with the semester ending and all, and I've had a case of writer's block, and I've got a speech and a rough draft of a paper due tomorrow, and I have to finish a college application essay by tomorrow....

>.<

thanks for the review, tho....

:D

I'll try to get the first chapter up soon...

don't worry, this time he'll be a lot smarter (x1000) in the next version. not that that means much, because 1000x0 still =0, lol....:P