View Full Version : The shell *a one shot*

Missingno. Master
30th October 2005, 12:56 PM
I awoke quite abruptly to an incessant buzzing nearby. I looked around for the source of this noise. I didn't have too far to look, either.

"Ninjask..." I mumbled. "How long have I been sleping for now? What, three minutes?"

Ninjask laughed, which sounded like an even higher-pitched buzzing. "Of course not, Sheddy! You've been asleep for HOURS! I had nothing better to do, so I wokr you up!"

"But of course you had somethign better to do, Ninjask... SLEEP! And don't call me Sheddy. It's Shedinja." I said.

Ninjask then went on its usual rampant about how it's the fastest Pokemon ever, and how it has too meuch energy to sleep, and all that crap. Oh, the many times I heard Ninjask speaking of all this. It brought on such a pain in my halo.

Ninjask and I were something of brothers. That was, I suppose, the closest you could call us. Ninjask was clearly a male Pokemon, as our Nincada form had been. I, on the other hand, had no gender to speak of. I was not always in existence either. My very first memories involve that of looking at Ninjask, with me in my Shedinja form. Ninjask had happily greeted me on that occasion, saying that he had just evolved, and a bunch of other stuff. I had respect for Ninjask, of course, him being my "brother", but he could be such a pest at times. His evolution wasn't too long ago, either. I still only knew the attacks he knew. Aerial Ace.... Silver Wind.... Double Team.... And Fury Swipes. Those attacks beplagued both of us. But I knew that being a Shedinja, I was capable of learning attacks that Ninjask could not. I also knew that it was an uncommon occurance that he and I knew Silver Wind. Apparently, according to Ninjask, our mother had told him that he knew Silver Wind because our father, a Dustox, also knew the attack. This, she concluded, does not happen very often. Of course, I have no way of verifying this. Apparently, our parents had passed on long before Ninjask evolved, and subsequently, before I came to exist. Yet I did not shed tears. For the Shedinja do not feel as other Pokemon do. We only feel general emotion, such as happiness, sadness, liking, or anger, and only one degree of each. If Ninjask had destroyed my favorite rock (Yes, we Pokemon use rocks for toys, is that a PROBLEM?!), I would feel exactly as angry with him as I do now, him having woken me up. But Ninjask was the least of my problems. I also was in the care of a trainer. He, a young boy named Jeff, had captured us when Ninjask was just a Nincada. Ninjask said that shortly before the evolution, he had taught him Aerial Ace, explaining why I know it. Jeff is nice enough, as humans go. His other four Pokemon, a Marshtomp, a Zigzagoon, a Nosepass, and a Tyrouge, all tried to make fun of me when I first met them. I would overhear them calling me names such as "shell freak", or "husk boy", but given that the Shedinja cannot feel shame or embarrasment, I only felt a slight sadness at this, which I easily shrugged off. As for Jeff, he eventually found out about this, when he saw Marshtomp pointing at me and laughing crazily, and put an end to it with a stern talk to his other Pokemon. Ninjask, of course, had attempted to defend me, but he wasn't given much respect or notice either. Jeff himself was a respectable person, yet on occasion I would regret the fact that I was unable to communicate emotion towards him.

I was just about to go back to sleep, reflecting on this, when my Pokeball shook violently. Oh, no, I thought. Then, with a lurch, I was jostled out of the simulated forest environment, and into the real world. Looking around, I saw that Ninjask, Nosepass, Marshtomp, Zigzagoon, and Tyrouge were out as well. You're probably wondering how Ninjask woke me up if he was in his own Pokeball? Well, Pokemon can visit other Pokeballs, but can only nest in their own. Jeff was speaking ot all of us, telling us that we were not doing our usual training routine that day after breakfast. Instead, he said we were to take on Flannery, whom from what I heard, is the leader of a Pokemon Gym in Lavaridge Town. He told everybody to eat a lot, as he felt battling was harder on an empty stomach. The Shedinja do not have stomachs, but we do have taste buds, which told me that my Pokemon food was tasty. When I finished eating (I know we don't have mouths, they're extrasensorial taste buds. I consume food psychokinetically), Jeff returned us all to our Pokeballs. THis, I thought, was the perfect opportunity for regaining lost sleep. THerefore, I nodded off inside the Pokeball, and started to dream about me somehow being able to form a line of communication between me and Jeff. I knew that he often felt concerned about the fact that I never conveyed emotion to him. I just wanted him to know that I respect him greatly.

Next thing I knew, I was awoken to an all-too familier lurch, then I was expelled form the Pokeball, into a slightly hazy room. Across from me stood a bright orange Pokemon in a shell. I had recognized it from the Fiery Path as a Torkoal. Behind the Torkoal stood a young woman with a black shirt that exposed her middle,and wild red hair. Behind me, Jeff hissed "Shedinja, you're all that's left. You've got to defeat Torkoal!" But inside, I knew he had little confidence in me. And I couldn't say I blamed him. I knew that Torkoal was a fire-type Pokemon. And fire-type attacks would render me unconscious in an instant. I wanted to make this feeling of understanding known to Jeff, but as usual, I was unable. Instead, I merely faced my opponent. Jeff shouted out an attack command; Double Team. Obediently, I zigzagged back and forth across the field, creating illusiory copies of myself all around Torkoal. I knew he couldn't figure out which one was really me. Flannery commanded Torkoal to use Flamethrower on any one of them. Torkoal obediently shot a jet of fire from its mouth in the completely wrong direction. I then realized as the fire went through that copy that it might be time to put into action my new Double Team techniques. I focused all my energy into creating just one copy of me, behind Torkoal. I could undetecable switch places with this copy. THe copy itself was so concentrated that it was as close to being real as it could be without actually being real. it was the perfect plan. Torkoal shot out another Flamethrower, this one aimed at me. I swapped places with the Double Team copy of me, whom took the attack instead. Torkoal then shot another jet of fire behind himself, again aimed right at me. I swapped yet again, mystifying Torkoal. Flannery also looked confused. As I swapped yet again, I saw that even Jeff looked mildly surprised. I stopped the double team as Torkoal was facing away from me, and I shot a silvery powder at Torkoal. The Silver Wind attack met its mark. Torkoal was thrust forward by the attack's force. Jeff then got back into the swing of the battle and commanded an Aerial Ace, which I was about to use anyway. Spinning sideways, so my shells of wings were like a sawblade, I collided with Torkoal. This also dealt damage to him. Flannery then commanded a Sandstorm attack. I knew at once how this came to be; Torkoal had obviously used Mimic on Nosepass after it used Sandstorm. I wasn't worried, however. Little known to Jeff, I had been training in secret on my days off, teaching myself new moves. I knew it would make Torkoal's fire moves more effective, but any one of them would KO me anyway. I used Sunny Day. Jeff was astonished as the Sandstorm was wiped out by blinding rays of sunlight. I then used another move I taught myself; Solarbeam. I shot a ray of solar energy at Torkoal. It was flipped onto its back, unable to move because of its cumbersome shell. I then delivered the final blow with an Aerial Ace. Torkoal was rendered unconscious. Jeff was leaping around wildly in celebration. In an attempt to communicate with him my equal feelings of happiness, I flew some loop-de-loops in the air. These went unnoticed, however, as Jeff was busy accepting a badge from Flannery.

Later on, Jeff couldn't stop thanking me. However, his 305th (yes I counted) thank you was cut short by the fact that he had absentmindedly fallen off a cliff, and dropped all his Pokeballs! Swiftly, I flew down to where he was hanging off the cliff by one finger, and tried to motion for him to grab me. He seemed to understand somehow, and grabbed me lightly, clearly not wanting to hurt me. I then flew upwards with all my might, which was a lot more than you'd think, though I am something of a mere shell. Finally, I was able to pull Jeff back onto the rock. I then zipped down the cliff, and picked up his backpack, which held his Pokeballs. I brought them back up to Jeff, who looked extremely grateful. However, I heard his voice inside my head! He was thanking me internally! Startled, I thought back "You're welcome", and he seemed equally stunned. After a long silence, we had a small conversation telepathetically, and he came up with the theory that since I had saved his life, thus strenghening our bond, we became psychically linked. I then told him the truth about everything; About how I always wished for a way to convey my emotions towards him, that I had great respect for him, that I taught myself Sunny Day and Solarbeam, that I also taught myself that neat Double Team manipulation, and even told him that I was the one who stole half his cake at the Pokemon Center. After we were done communicating, I felt a rush of emotion. It was as though every emotion I could never feel before came to me all at once, that it was all available now. I figured it had something to do with our new psychic bond. That night, as I went to sleep, not even Ninjask's incessant buzzing 3 minutes later could bother me, as I had finally gotten my wish. I was finally able to communicate with Jeff. I was finally happy, happier than I ever knew I could ever feel.

Magi of all
13th November 2005, 3:05 AM

Anyway, pretty good, but not great. Pretty much the same things I wrote in my reply to your other fic apply here. ONe new thing, however, is that your ending was really predictable. In the end Shedinja wins a battle and can them talk to his trainer. Could have been more origional

EDIT: VV What he said is also pretty accurate. I'm just to kind to say that stuff

Yami Ryu
13th November 2005, 4:19 AM
... I think Magi was too kind for you. As I said, you have talent. You don't use it. This was perdictable, boring and lame. I mean a Shedinja defeated a Torkoal, and you made it were it eats. ... Shedinja is a cast off skin, it's a ghost, and it doesn't even have a mouth. It can't really fly, and you have it floating around all over the place. I know in the anime it could probably do stuff... but the anime is not realistic, is it? And niether is this fic. You Mary Sued the pokemon, and with the situation at the end of the fic, further pushed the genderless creature into Suedom when it saved the trainer.

I'm not sorry to tell you this, but you seriously need to work on writing fics, or atleast make them more realistic and not something like in the anime. People mostly turned off by unrealistic happy endings or fics where pokemon are humanised too much, mary sued, or etcetc.

Missingno. Master
16th November 2005, 10:06 PM
Alright, yeah, I know I can do better. It's just that I like writing these battle scenes like this. I've always liked to portray Shedinja as a hero, rather than the weakling it's taken to be.