View Full Version : Sibling Rivalries BookI Confromtation

10th November 2005, 5:59 PM
I originally had this on pe2k. But I'm posting it here too. It's not ready yet so I will update. It's a trilogy.

Sibling Rivals Book I

Prolauge-My name is Dewie. I have bushy brown hair with blue eyes. I'm also really tall, about 6 foot 3. As long as I can remember my cousin James and I have been pokemon trainer rivals. From the time my pokemon was just and egg we would fight about who's egg was heavier. Kind of stupid right. Well when my egg hatched into a Growlieth which i named Foster and his hatched into a Shelder named Shelly we were constantly battleing. I was always a bit better. But, then he turned on me and my whole family. He discraced us by joining the evil Team Rocket. He is now their strongest trainer. They have been terrorizing my home town of Cinnibar Island,and the town has selected me to try to scare them out. Unfourtanatley, i need to capture more pokemon before i am ready. That is why i have decided to leave my hometown of Cinnibar Island and travel to the Hoenn region with my fathers Lapras named Lappi.

Chapter 1 Welcome to Slateport

"Come on Lappi put on those after burners!" I Shouted over the sound of the crashing waves. We were only about 300 yards from the shores of Slateport City,but i was eager to get out of this storm and on some dry land. As a big wave was starting to form behind us I yelled to Lappi"If you can get on top of this wave we should be able to ride it to the docks." We did just that. Lappi was exceptionally strong and was able to get on top of the wave. "Alright Lappi,good job you deserve a rest." I said calmly as he was materilized into the pokeball. " Come out Foster" I said joyfully.

"Growl!" He said equally joyful. As we were walking along the beach i rememberedI should go get some pokeballs and get some potions. So I told Foster to stay outside when i went ito the pokemart.

" I would like 5 pokeballs and 5 potions please." I spoke very clearly.

"Ok. That will be 560$". Said the clerk.

"Heres the cash. Thank you." I said politly.

"No thank you. Come again" He said. I swear i could hear an odd snickering sound in his voice.

"Come on Foster, lets see if we can rest somewhere." I said.

"Growlieth!" Barked Foster.

Chapter 2 An old friend

"I will let you rest in my house if you can defeat me in a 1 on 1 battle." Said an old man from the shadows of an alley.

"Your on old timer!" I said. "Go Foster!" I shouted.

"Go Nuzzle!"(a nuzleaf) Said the old man in a cracking voice.

"Foster, take down attack now!" I said. Fosters attack connected. Though the old man's Nuzzle used a razor leaf and it missed. "Foster agility." My voice echoed as i said it.

"Nuzzle,vine whip!' Said the old man encouragingly. The vine whip connected.

"Darn. Well ok, Foster flamethrower attack now!" I said happily. I new i had the old man right where i wanted him. The flamethrower a critical super effective hit. As Nuzzle fainted I knew we had a place to rest now.

"Good fight!" Said the old man as his Nuzleaf returned into its little red and white ball. He than stepped out of the shadows and I couldn't belive who I had just beaten. It was one the retired elite four legends, Gary Oak.

"Wow! Mr. Oak i can't belive it's you!" I said suprised.

"Yes,it is I. I heard from your dad you were coming here to train." Said Gary.

"You know my dad?" I questioned him.

"Yes Ash and I have been friends for quite some time now." Said Gary.

"Oh. I didnt know that." I said.

"Well we are, And you must be tired come on in and rest." He spoke politley.

Chapter 3/4 Getting Spooked

"Rise and shine Dewie you have alot of training to do." Said an old voice.

"Wha Wha. Who are you?" I mummbled before I opened my tired eyes. Then as i opened i remember what had happened yesterday.

"So when shall we start training?" I asked.

"Right now. The ghost pokemon are still out and i thought you might be able to catch one Dewie." Said Gary. Gary then said "I'll see you when you come back."

"Ok. I'm up and off!" I said excitingly. As Foster and i made it out the door we walked slowly and quietly. We walked and walked. Both are eyes were looking for a good ghost pokemon. We saw many ghosts but they werent strong enough. Then at the edge of Slateport we saw one. Both of our eyes were on the prize,a strong dark Gastly. " Go Foster!" I said. "Foster ember attack." I said. It caught the Gastley off guard and hit. Then istantly the Gastley did a confusion attack. Foster was confused. "Foster snap out of hit then do agility." I said. Our bond was strong and Foster did what I said. Gastley was now looking all over trying to find Foster. " Foster take down attck now!" I said. oUt of nowhere emerdged Foster with the attack. Direct hit. It had a little recoil though. Then the gastley did a bite attack. The attack missed this time giving Foster an opening. " Foster flamethrower attack now!" I decided this move instantly. A clear hit that sent gastley flying back. "Pokeball go!" I yelled with studdering excitment in my voice. The ball shook violently back and forth. "Darn. It broke out." I said to myself angerly. Gastley then suprised me. He came out with a bunch of attacks. First,another bite. Then a scaryface and a confusion. All hit. Fortuanatley, Foster wasn't confused. He was injured though. Then i rememberedI have 5 potions. So I used two. Foster was stronget than ever and when I told him to do his flamethrower attack one more time, I thought it could've knocked that Gastly to Cinnibar Island. So with one strong heave I through another pokeball at that Gastly. It wiggled less violently this time. I was saying to myself " Come on. Come on.....


Chapter 5 Vacation?

Ding! The sound of the ball closing shut joyed me so much. "We did it Foster! We caught our first pokemon!" I yelled this so loud I probobly woke up the whole city! Soon after the battle I named my Gastly Reaper. The name really suits him. So I walked back to Gary's house. As I got there I found a note nailed to the door along with a key taped to the back. The note read: Dear Dewie, The Mrs. and I went on vacation. Be back in about a week. Come and go as you please. P.S there is a key taped to the back. PP.S there is a warm breakfast in the room you slept in last night. There was something about the note that made me feel odd. Gary said to me before I left "I'll see you when you come back." Why would he lie?

Chapter 6 Captured

Still i was very hungry so i went inside. As i opened the door to the room I slept in a net fell. "Oh god damnit" I spoke loudly.

"Hello Dewie. Long time no see." Said a familiar voice.

"James is that you?" I asked

"Why I'm suprised you remembered and recongized me and my voice." Said James.

"How'd you find me and why are you doing this!" I shouted demandingly.

"Well I couldn't let you overthrow my organization. As for fining you, after I captured and threatend your mother, Ash told me what I needed to know. Then I came here and captured Gary and his wife Misty I forged a note of course. As for the key, I swiped it from Gary when he wasn't looking." Said James.

"You, James are scum. Torture me all you want and you'll never defeat me." I said bravely.

"Hmm. Well men off we go. Shadow Abra teleport!" He said this menincingly.

Chapter 6 Escape Attempt

"Ow!" I shouted as they through me inside a concrete cell. They took my pokemon long ago and I am worried about what they might be doing. Then a gental voice came into my head "We are fine and coming up with a plan to break you out as I speak." Said the calm voice. It sounded so familiar.

"Who are you?" I questioned inside my head.

" It is me, Foster. Replied Foster. I knew our bond was strong but not that strong. I tried to contact him again but with no luck. I was given no food or water. But as the hours go on i was more and more eager to escape. Then I saw Reaper float through my cell wall. He touched me and together we floated through the wall. I saw his pokeball on the floor along with 2 more.

"Reaper, save the rest of the prisoners teleport them from where they came along with their pokemon." I whispered. He was back within a few moments all cells were empty. I wasnt going to flee though, no i was going to seek out James a battle him 1 on 1.

Chapter 7 The Undecided Battle

I ordered Reaper to forse the base and to find James. When he got the picture he told the directions to Foster , and Foster told them to me. There was James all alone in a room. "It's time for you to get what's been coming to you for a long time!" I said confidantly. "Go Foster!" I said

"Go Cloyster! Spike ball attck now." Said James. Oh no I thought, his sheldar evoveld!

" Agility then takedown attack now." I said.

"Switch to Abra and teleport!" Said James. Then just as soon as the battle started he fleed.

"What a chicken." I said to Foster.

Chapter 8 Gadgets and Gizmos

On our way out we stumbled into a dark room. Flick. I flipped the lightswitch to "ON". Inside were many unfinished products including a pokeball connected to a monitor. The monitor's reading showed that there was something inside. I picked up the pokeball and opened it up. Out came an odd pokemon I had never seen or heard of.

Chapter 9 Expeiriment 0092

"Oh my gosh." I said stunned. Soon after came a blast of energy I suppose came from the pokemon. It strengthened everything around it. When I looked over at Foster he was glowing very brightly. I could see his form changing(very oddly I might add).

"Foster are you ok!? Foster!" I said in disbelief. I had no idea what Foster was now. It seemed as though he and the other pokemon had fused. The other pokemon had looked a little like a sneasel but not too much. On one of the monitors It read" Experiment 0092: Ok The sneasel mutation seems to be going well. I've taken it upon myself to name it. The pokemons name will be Rukario. To go along with our plan Mr Catchem(james was my cousin on my fathers side) I've included that Rukario will fuse into the pokemon he first sees:." So James wanted to fuse shelly with this Rukario thing. I thought to myself. So the new crossbreed between Foster and Rukario looked like this. The pokemon could stand on two legs, he had one retractable claw from each paw. His face now strtched out where he had a nose like a dogs. His eyes were no longer happy and joyful, they were black, serious, and wise. "Foster what happened to you are you there?" I said. Then he spoke. He actually spoke outloud.

"It is still me Dewie." Said Foster.

"Are you ok?" I asked stunned.

"Better then ever." Replied Foster. He had some humor in his voice.

"At least you still have a sense of humor." I replied jokingly. 'So what kind of new moves can you do?" I said.

" I am now able to do fire and pshycic attacks." he said. With that I returned him into my pokeball.

"Reaper, teleport us out of here! I need to give Lappi a workout because we're travleing to Dewford City. So Reaper teleported us to the beach. A zigzag of red light come out as I sent out the new improved Foster and Lappie. "Lappie surf to Dewford!" I said happiliy.

Chapter 10 A Warm Welcome

Off we went. Lappie waited until we were all on her back. "Wait wait!" Said a voice. "I wanna give you something." i recognized the voice. It was Gary. Gary rushed over to Lappie and handed me an egg.

"Whats in it Gary?" I asked

"I don't know, thats why I'm giving it to you." Replied Gary. "Thanks for saving me and my wife May" He said poloitly.

"No problem. Well i got to go." I said.

"Then off you go. Come back sometime soon, like when that egg hatches ok. Said Gary.

"Ok." I replied. Then Lappie took off full speed. "Whoa! Lappie calm down!" I shouted. Then I saw why she was going so fast. A sharpedo was beind here and closing in fast. Lappie wasnt exactly a fighting pokemon but she was the only one I could use on the water. "Lappie, Surf attack now. The attack hit sharpedo with amazing strength. "Now try maybe a tackle attack." I said. And like lappie was a linebacker and sharpedo was a quaterback she hit him, hard. Sharpedo went to bite lappie but all he got was a fin in the face. "Pokeball go! " I shouted. The ball was a lilttle wiggly. Then it clicked. I caught a Sharpedo. "Yes, I caught Sharpedo. I'll name you Jaws. Good battle Lappie now off to Dewford." I shouted with intensity. As we pulled into Dewford there were crowds of people waiting at the dock that cheered when they saw me. " Why are you people cheering?" I asked puzzled.

"You saved us from Team Ultimate." Replied a young man. "My name is Shawn, Shawn Micheales." He said this again and again.

"Well all I did was battle my cousin, James at their base in Slateport City." I said.

"Yes and they moved their base from here because they feared you'd come here." Said Shawn.

" Oh. Ok well just treat me like I was anybody else. I'm just here to train my pokemon." I said. No response from the people came and they did as I requested. I traveled through and decided to give my pokemon to Nurse Joy at the Pokemon Center. " I'd like you to treat these pokemon with your finist equipment." I said

"Ok, sure Dewie. So how's ash been latley. Said Nurse Joy.

" Oh well he's bee...." I was cut off in my sentence.

"Ahhhh whats that thing." Screamed Nurse Joy in a ear peicing high pitched voice.

"There was an accident in Team Ultimate's lab. It changed Foster." I said.

"Ooookkk. Yyyyooouurr ppppokemon arrre rrrready." She said, her voice shaking in every word.

"Thanks Nurse Joy." I said and got out.

Chapter 11 Brawl With Brawly

I then made my way towards Brawly, Dewfords gym leader's gym. "Well when we're here we might as well earn a badge." I said to my pokemon. As i entered the gym it was pitch black. "Hello, Brawly? are you here." I said as my voice echoed. Click. The lights went on and the annoying vvvvvrrrrrr sound of a generator popped into the empty warehouse.

"If it is a badge you desire you must defeat me and my 3 pokemon." He said strongly. "Go Machop! Karate Chop attack now!" He said

"Go Lappie, Surf attack". I said. Lappie got hammered, so did Machop. " Lappie, this time do a Water Gun attack." I said.

" Machop, Seismoc Toss!" But Lappie's attack was to much for Machop.

"Machop is unable to battle. Lappie wins!" Said the ref.

"Return Lappie, good job!" I said. "Go Foster!" I said. This was the first time Foster was going to battle since the accident.

"Return Machop. What the heck is that? No matter, go Makuhita!" Shouted Brawly. "Slap attack now."

"Foster, Confusion attack." I said. This was proboply the strongest confusion I've ever seen.

"Oh no! My Makuhita is confused. Karate Chop now!" He said, praying to himself that it wouldn't attack Makuhita. But it did.

"Foster finish him off with a Flamethrower attack." I said.

"Makuhita is unable to battle. Foster and Dewie win!' Said the ref.

"NIce battle kid. You've got real potential. As promised here is your Knuckle Badge." Said Brawly.

"Thanks. Well i better be off." I said politly. So I clipped the badge to my belt where my pokeballs were held. I than made my way down to the shore, sent out Lappie, and off we went. Next destination Rustoboro City.

Chapter 12 What Happened To Rustoboro

Now my 3 pokemon and I rode on Lappie's back as she made her way towards Rustoboro City. Pop! Foster got out of his pokeball on his own and sat down next to me.

"How ya doin buddy" I said to foster as I scrathed him between the ears.

"I don't like that pokeball thing. It's too cramped." Complained Foster.

"You can stay out of it if you want to get NOTICED MY EVERYONE!" I said

"They and you shouldn't care what I am." He protested.

"I just don't want James to find out about this and catch us. I said more calmly. "Can you make do until I have enough money for a masterball?"

"I suppose so, but since we are in a desolate area I'm staying out." He said.

"Ok we are almost there so enjoy your moment." i said. But while we reached a charred black dock i didnt see a beautiful city that Rustoboro was known for. I saw a run down and burnt down pile of charred wood and ash. Then I saw one lone person which i rushed over to for answers. It was a boy trainer about my own age. I asked him "What happened to Rustoboro City?" He ansered in a raspy voice

"Team Ultimate came through here looking for a trainer named Dewie and tore down the place. By the way my name is Patrick."

"My name is Dewie and the leader of Team Ultimate is my cousin James. I am planning to train more and defeat Team Ultimate." I said. Patrick then got up. He had an angered look on his face.

"Your cousin is James. He was the one who destroyed my house and family. I would be honered of you allowed me to train will you and overthrow Team Ultimate." He said.

"Ok. I could use a little company." I said. We walked through the ruins of the once great city talking about our past adventures. It turns out Patrick had just gotten his first pokemon. It was a Pichu named Sparky. Sparky had never battle before so we saw a Rattata eating old, stale, burnt bread. I told Patrick to attack it and battle. So Patrick sent out Sparky. He hit the Rattata with a strong Thundershock attack. The before the Rattata could react Patrick used agility and then a quick attack. Rattata fainted and Pichu was overjoyed. So was Patrick. Right after that the egg Gary gave me hatched. It was a Bonsly egg. I named him Bonno. As we made our way out of the city toward the dock we were walked up to by two people in long brown overcoats. They then ripped off their coats and I saw James and a girl I had never seen before.

"What are you here for James!" I demanded

"Well of course I am here to capture you." He said coky like.

"Well it wont be that easy. Gastly teleport!" I said. Gastly teleported Patrick and I to Slateport City.

"Why didn't we fight him?" Asked Patrick.

"Because I promised Gary Oak that when this egg hatched I'd come and tell him.

"You know Gary Oak!" Exclaimed Patrick.

"Yes he and my dad Ash have been friends for a long time." I said.

"Ash Catchem is your dad!" He stammered out.

"Once again yes he is." I relied. So we made our way to Gary's house. I knocked on the door. "Hi Gary, the egg hatched into a Bonsly. I named him Bonno." I said.

"Oh well you kept your promise. Who's this Dewie?" asked Gary.

"This is my friend Patrick. His hometown of Rustboro was destroyed and he's helping me overthrow Team Ultimate.

"Oh I heard about that. Said Gary.

"Also Gary something happened to me in that awful lab. Foster was um...... changed." I said.

"What do you mean changed?" He said. Then I sent out Foster. Gary gasped when Foster materilized from the ziz zagged red line. Gary gasped as Foster came out. Then Gary spoke: "What is that thing?"

"I am Foster." He said wisley.

"He speaks?" Said Gary stunned .

"Yes he does." I said.

Yami Ryu
10th November 2005, 6:04 PM
For ****s sake doesn't anyone read the rules anymore?

-_- too short, and multiple chapters in one post.

Lacking description, lacking depth of characters and plot, lacking everything. Bah, wtf should I bother, you won't listen to anything I say. No noobs/newbs/whatevers ever listens to attempts to help them get better. So I'll just tell you where to go, save myself 10 minutes trying to completely dechipher the mockery you call a story and crit it by saying; Go read the Advice and Rules stickies. Because this will most likely end up being closed.

Kyle of Pallet
10th November 2005, 6:19 PM
This is one of those rare (I mean rare) instances I have to agree with Renegade. I don't even know how to help here.

I suggest closing this down and trying again from the Prolouge. Read the Advice for Aspiring Authors and Fanfic Eules (hm... Christmas already? I ment Rules). There are rules we all must follow, and they are there.

I might have been able to help, but you posted 12, countim', twelve chapters at ONCE! With that much to fix, that is a bit beyond repair.

Don't worry. Close this down and try again. Post one chapter at a time. I'll help you out the rest of the way! :) And in your remake, remember to describe. And don't worry about a thing, I will help ya.

12th November 2005, 12:45 AM
ok stop screwing around with me. 1 on the other forums this story was a hit.2 you guys are way topicky about this. about the multyple chapters in this fic, i copy/pasted so i kould only do 1 reply. other than that crap u guys said does anyone think this is a good story?;356; ;rukario; ;353; ;223; ;216; ;209; ;303; ;201-n; ;201-d; ;201-?; ;100; ;230; ;108; :snowlax: ;037;

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