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outlaw_p
10th November 2005, 7:18 PM
Ash yawned and as he woke up from the poke'mon centre. They were in a random town called Pewwe city. He looked over to Max.
Ash: Morning Max.... where's Brock and May?
Max: Oh, Borck ran downstairs to see Joy and May's training for the next contest.
Ash: Oh, okay.

He got ready, and walked down the stairs of the centre his fathful Pikachu by his side. Brock greeted him.
Brock: ASH! YOU HAVE TO CALL PROFESSER OAK IMMEDIATELY HE'S GOT GREAT NEWS!!!
Ash: Wait until i've had breakfast....
Ash walked to the canteen, May blocked him
May: Ash phone Oak now! Trust me its more important than food!!
Ash: More important than food?! Okay then.

Ash grabbed the T.V-phone and called Oak he answered happily.
Oak: Morning Ash!
AshL: Morning professer, whats this all about?
Oak: Well.... YOUR A GRANDAD
Ash: WHAAAAAAT?!
Oak: Well not yet... but your about to be
Ash: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???!!!!!
Oak: Oh, sorry.... let me explain, do you remember your squirtle?
Ash: Of course i remember squirtle!
Oak: Well.... he bred with a feemale tododile recently... and He's about to be a dad!!!
Ash: WHAT HOW DO YOU KNOW?!
Oak: Well, Officer Jenny phoned me and is coming over within the next two days.... Can you come as well?
Ash: 'COURSE WE CAN!
He jumped up and faced the other three
Ash: Guys.... we're goin' to Pallet!!!!
Pikachu: Pi Pika-chu! <peace sign>
.................................................. .........................................

Well this is my first story, hope you guys liked part one! :)

Patrick

Yami Ryu
10th November 2005, 7:49 PM
Wow. Evidently no one understands about the fact, improper script is not allowed. Especially the fact that this, even if it wasn't script, would be too damn short to be allowed as a 'part' of a chapter, let alone a chapter.

Solution for this blatant break of a rule easily found out by READING THE RULES; Read the rules. Read the Advice. Actually put effort into writing in your next script/chapter. As if real writers did it as crappily as you, A Midnight Summers Dream and other plays or scripts would not be the works of art they are considered now.

Shynki
10th November 2005, 8:17 PM
Part of a chapter? Then it should go to the Author's lounge, I think. and yeah, if you're going to keep it script, then you need to bring it to way better detail. Grammar could be better. But otherwise do you have an idea of what you're doing? I guess it could get interesting. Just maybe. Just remeber to keep full chapters, AKA at least a page in length.