View Full Version : Blazing Johto Journey

11th November 2005, 1:01 AM
story about a 13 year old girl and her blazing hot fire pokemon. I will have the chapter tommorow after school.

11th November 2005, 1:16 AM
I'm sorry, but you can't do this. Either post the chapter now, or be prepared to get closed by a mod. my expectations are low of this either way, though.

I get the feeling that a word processor program was not, and likely will not be used.

Burnt Flower
11th November 2005, 1:32 AM
Wow, amazing...

A crappy, rule-breaking preview. =/

11th November 2005, 2:15 AM
Fleria is 13. She has brown hair and blue eyes. she wore her favorite colors. Her shirt was a ruby red color with her familys gym logo on it. she wore sapphire blue pants with the same logo. Her shoes were a emrald green. her pokenav which was around her neck had the logo too. Her mom was gym leader of Blackthorn city gym. Her name was clair. She was teaching Flrerias older sister how to be a gym leader. Fleria had one pokemon which she got when she was 12. It was a houndour which she called Doomflame. "Fleria you said you have some news for us." her mother said. "Yes I am going to start my journey tommorow." She said happily. "You won't even get another pokemon let alone a badge." Mikita her sister said. "Well i don't lose every battle." Fleria added. Her sister was not a real good trainer. the next morning Fleria was at the ridges with her mom and sis. Her dad died when she was 10. "Be careful" Her mom said. "Don't worry mom I have Doomflame." she said. then she started to jump down the riges. She was heading for Cherrygrove city. On the way down Fleria noticed a trainer. "Hi I'm Fleria." she said. "the name is gadama. newb." The girl said and walked away. "Lets be rivals" Fleria shouted. the girl just waved her hand.

There is the first chapter. It's not much this is my first time as a auther.

11th November 2005, 2:20 AM
Oh yea! This is teh pwn!!!111!11

Ok, I'm done being a jerk and will get serious. As I predicted, this thing is awful! Pure and simple. For one thing, it's WAY too short. It's also lacking of proper capitalization, and paragraphing.

To sum it up simply, I'll say this: For god's sake girl, read the Advice for Aspiring Author's thread! No, don't go soon, or even ASAP is too long, GO NOW! Move it to trhat advice thread!

11th November 2005, 2:28 AM
I said i was just beginnig. Thanks for the idea. Oh and chill out it will get better ok i just wrote what came to mind. i will write a better chapter in my creative writing class tommorow so please it will be better i promise. ;rukario;