PDA

View Full Version : My short Fan-fic based off of the beginning of Blue version.



Super Wario 64
12th November 2005, 11:35 PM
(Gengarman is the guy with the Gengar)
(Jigglymaster is a trainer I made up)
Announcer: We're in a fierce battle between Gengarman's Gengar Vs. Jigglymaster's Jigglypuff....
Jigglymaster: Okay,Jiggly,ya ready?
Jiggly(Jigglymaster's Jigglypuff): Jiggly.....Puff......
Gengarman: We'll beat this Jigglypuff....right,Gengar?
Gengar:Gengar........
Referee: Begin!
Announcer: Oh...I hope that Jigglypuff has Psychic,cause Gengar would be tough for Jigglypuff.......
Gengarman: Okay,Gengar,USE SCRATCH!
Gengar: GennnnnGAR!!!
(Gengar trys to scratch Jigglypuff,but Jigglypuff dodges)
Jiggly: Puff.....
Jigglymaster: OK,JIGGLY,USE HEADBUTT!!!!
Jiggly:Jigglyyyyyyyyyyy.........PUFF!!!!!
(Jiggly hits Gengar with HEADBUTT)
Gengar: GAAAARRR!!!!
Announcer: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! GENGAR ACTUALLY TOOK DAMAGE FROM JIGGLYPUFF'S HEADBUTT!!!!
Gengar: gennnnnnnn..........*Is about to fall*Gar.........*Faints*
Referee: Gengar is unable to continue the battle! Jigglypuff wins it!
This winner of this match is Jigglymaster and his Jigglypuff!
Jigglymaster: Yeaah!! We done it,Jiggly!!!
Jiggly: Jiggly.......paaaaaahh!^_^
Gengarman: You okay,buddy?
Gengar: Garrrrr..*yep*
Gengarman: take a good rest,buddy...*Returns Gengar to it's Pokeball*


*And thaaaaaaatss....it! Rate it plz!^_^*

Dilasc
12th November 2005, 11:49 PM
Um, this is script, and poor script, which is bad, and illegal here. Either change it from script to normal, or make it proper script. If you don't, your thread will be locked.

~*Ratiosu*~
12th November 2005, 11:58 PM
This is...like said...script. So make it not script. Non-script is what the majortiy of people around here write, so take a look at thems. And why would a guy be named "Gengarman" or "Jigglymaster"? People don't change their names just to fit in with their Pokemon. Unless their moms, for some odd demented twisted reason named their sons something that has never been seen in the history of forever.

FloatingFlames
13th November 2005, 12:28 AM
Unless their moms, for some odd demented twisted reason named their sons something that has never been seen in the history of forever.

You've heard of titles, I hope?

Anyways, I found this slightly amusing if poorly written. Nothing much else to say except read the rules.

Yami Ryu
13th November 2005, 12:44 AM
God this is the worst script there has been in a while. You don't even attempt to do basic describing of anything. You just assume (Name): Text is a script. Evidently you haven't even attempted to read a play script, or a television script or a movie script, as they are all nothing like that. A script is like a fic, only made for people to play/act out. Yours is just two people, or whatever speaking.

Oh wait, you made the blandest and weakest attempts at describing. Which even then isn't all that good. Might as well have left it off as descriptionless. And titles? So what if it's names or titles, how the hell did they get the names/titles, why, what reason, etc.

You took an idea that could have been drawn out to something original and well written, and quashed it to dust with this **** script. You need to read the rules and Advice stickies ASAP before even attempting to write anything else, as I doubt you even wrote this out in a writing program --;

Fatal
13th November 2005, 12:54 AM
OMG! This sucks! On the contrary, it's so bad and improper that I was... laughing!

Kayote's Bane
13th November 2005, 1:45 AM
*falls back with leg in air twitching*

Great god, what was THAT?

Even I can do better, and I'm not all that of a great writer. You absolutely lack depth, even description, and I think the majority of us knows how pokemon Blue's intro goes...

Furthermore, that was waaaay too short. I could just take one look at it, and see it all. Let us scrooooolll down...

Magi of all
13th November 2005, 1:50 AM
Nothing further to add other than that this qualifies as a one shot and a poorly written one at that.

Dragonfree
13th November 2005, 2:39 AM
This guy has suffered enough "You suck" for now, so I'm not adding anything.

But this is against the rules. *locks*