View Full Version : The Opening Intro of a Fanfiction

13th November 2005, 4:22 AM
Jah, yet ANOTHEEERRRRRRRR thread by....ME! *sexplode*

The topic this time is...*points up at the title* Says it all. Nerr.

To be more specific, what type of intro (prologue and opening first chapter) do you find that you like the best? What draws you in? A singular narrative, or a sarcastic exchange in a pub that explodes into an all-out brawl? The midst of a Pokemon battle?

For me, I've always liked a story that starts by grabbing you and throwing you headfirst into the action, though by now it's very cliched/overdone to start off with a Pokemon battle, so originality and unexpectedness is always a plus in my book.

Ryano Ra
13th November 2005, 4:25 AM
Never thought about this before. o.o

The beginning must be mysterious and beautiful. I love it when the setting is first described, somehow then falling into the descriptions of a character or an action. Aerial introduction also draw me in, especially like a flying Dragonite soaring over Celadon as the author details the Dragonite, its action, and the city. Basically, something with description. 8D

13th November 2005, 4:33 AM
What I like for an intro:

Maybe someone getting injured.
Or what about the birth of a Pokemon.

Chibi Pika
13th November 2005, 5:58 AM
I don't know, and really, I've never thought about that before. The Pokemon battle thing is a bit cliche, but I actually prefer more simple, setting-ish type intros rather than action. I agree with Ry on the mysterious and beautiful part.

As for my fic, it took me over an hour to come up with a good first paragraph for LC's Prologue. oO; I couldn't think of what to do, and then finally just settled on the dramatic Lugia intro scene. The first sentence also has a heavy burden on it as well when in comes to intros (especially in one-shots.)


13th November 2005, 6:01 AM
LOLOL! You used maw "sexplode." I think, my dearrrrrr, we are rubbing off on each other. xPPPPPP!

WELLLLL I think even pokemon BIRTHS are a little overdone. Births in general are an overdone begining. Has no one thought of doing a death, perhaps?

:P Just an idea.

Beginings should be small, and later blossom into something grand. Or, if you can handle it, blow the begining up and make the story that follows even grander! ^^ It's all about progression, I think. Take it slow, fast, it's the authors choice.

D: luff.

13th November 2005, 6:02 AM
For an opener, it is important to grab the readers attention. Unfortunately, I seem to fail at that for some reason with my old intro. That's why I start things off with a dream with the Oni, and blood raining from the sky, and the moon on a collision course with planet earth. Now THAT'S an opener... or at least I hope it is.

All in all, a nice peak at some dramatic moment of the story will inevitably suck in a new reader and never let go! That's what I hope to attain, much like everyone else, of course.

13th November 2005, 6:04 AM
What I did in my story was recap the team's previous adventures, what happened in between the last adventure and the current story and I tend to list who I can and their powers. Also, I introduce who everyone and everything is. From there I pick a scene to start and everything just flows like water.

If I was doing my first ever story, I'd make a long descrption about the universe my characters are in.


13th November 2005, 6:08 AM
Yes, maw deeeeearrrrrr, we are rubbing off on each other. XD We are teh horror of the ScraberXx! Okay, that sounded so wrong.

I'm trying to rethink one of my opening chapters, since I'm worried it's too much based on dialogue. Bascially you have a character in a bar creeping the hell out of the bartender, then it skips to 30 years later where the same character is talknig to the bartender's son...but, I'm considering pushing that into the second chapter in favor for a more gripping first chapter. x.x;

13th November 2005, 6:19 AM
D: Yeah, it might not be HOOK-Y enough unless you have some kick arse diaglouge. O_o;;;

But you can only go so far with dialouge, and it may not be enough to pull readers into le story.

Maybe an explosion? A descrution of a factory or a village? o-o;; DEATH. SOMETHING WITH DEATH!


Lolol, ScraberXx. xP That is EXTREMLY scary.

13th November 2005, 6:27 AM
I've started beginnings with dialouge (the conversations have to be terribly interesting), someone thinking to themselves, setting being described, and sometimes events where people throw things at one another and hurts, like a very bad bee sting in the hot summer when your mother is beginning to get all ESP and THINKS YUR GUNNA DIE. Yaw.

Some things that grab my attention are letters written by one of the characters, or a diary entry (though in the case of teh diary, 'tis overused). Just don't go overboard by talking in first-person but pressing your writing to have the description of third-person POV. People want to get straight and precisely to the point, and not describe EVERYTHING; about how the wood smells, what kind of badger bit it, and what chocolate your dog is eating (which may kill it). Why is chocolate death-giving to dogs? O.o

Some other good beginnings start as though you were continuing a chapter from the middle of it, not letting your reader know what they're looking at until they find the context clues and sort through it themselves. This is also a risky technique, but when done without confusing readers, it is helpful.

13th November 2005, 6:31 AM
Chocolate kills dogs because their bodies can't break it down the same way humans can, and they go into overdrive, they get seizures and then die. Talk about a sugar rush. x.x;;

Yes, then I suppose the dialogue I'm using would bore readers. It's mostly the character being all creepy and mysterious and confusing while the bartender gets more and more scared and begins to think that the character is a ghost or something. Lame, huh? XD

I had a idea for the first chapter starting out with an eerie dream, ending in the character jolting out of sleep and finding herself in the middle of a empty stetch of highway...but that'd be far too short for a first chapter, so I'm back to square one. D: Though, the death thing suggested by Saber is a good idea.

13th November 2005, 6:34 AM
A dream opener can be fine. Heck, my new improved opener for Dust to Deceit is now a dream rather than the first chapter. Hopefully, it will do its job much better, though I'm sure its worth trying out if you'd like to... a dream that is.

13th November 2005, 6:35 AM
They aren't already overused? Ah, good. XD

13th November 2005, 6:39 AM
Death and dreams...they go together like a horse and carraige ^)^

Nightmarzh teh great way to start story, especially when they are so bizarre that the extent of it slams into a creepy, horrifying scene. For example, a little girl playing tea party with her dolls, when she begins talking to them:

Girl: Would you like more tea, Mrs. Nespitt?
Doll: ....
Girl: Oh...you must be hungry...

The girl then reaches in her hair and withdraws a sharp bobby pin, and she immediately begins the terrifying task of ripping the flesh on her forehead slowly and firmly with it, when she begins to bleed ferociously. She then peels loose skin and blood from her wound, and smears it on the silent doll's mouth. UNEXPECTED! Therefore, creep-ay.

EDIT: So weird it's appealing.
EDITx2: Did I write that? Holy Hell I is freaky D:

13th November 2005, 6:58 AM
I write death and dreams. If that's what people write, then I cansafely dedicate my work to those topics a lot more often. If not, then oh well, I still like those subjects because they're fun and interesting to write about, even if they remain unread,

13th November 2005, 7:02 AM
I wrote a death and a couple dreams. But, the death didn't come till later on. I wanted to surprise people ya know. Course, the guy in my story was dead king walking as soon as I mentioned what the baddies were gonna do in Chapter 1. Always good to set up stuff in the into. It's also good to be descriptive. I dunno where people get the idea that being descriptive' a bad thing.

I guess too much could be bad. Who knows? That's a topic for another time.


13th November 2005, 7:07 AM
It's also good to be descriptive. I dunno where people get the idea that being descriptive' a bad thing.

I guess too much could be bad. Who knows?

Yeah, it's good to be descriptive, but not too damn descriptive that it takes foreva to read about someone goin up the stairs or sleepin in a bed. :p

13th November 2005, 7:12 AM
^That was exactly what I did in my first fic. I was good at description. Too much description. It drove people away because it made the story slower than it actually was, and that of course, leads to my abandoning. That's another thing with people like me; if the readers aren't satisfied, neither am I. That's why 60% of all of my fics have gone down the drain >.<;

13th November 2005, 7:17 AM
Funny. That's what I'm afraid of letting happen to Dust to Deceit. I mean, the few readers I DO have practically love it, but... when compared to other fics written by authors of equal callibur, but a bit more popularity... I just fall flat. It's depressing! I just had to comment on this, since it seems so scarily similar to the path I'm going under. Some HAVE said I overdescribe though, but it's better than having a scripty newb fic with ten sentences or crappy script lines, is it not?

13th November 2005, 7:22 AM
O_O I don't think you overdescribe. Some people have said Serpent Syra overdescribes, but that's only because he uses beautifully uncommon words to describe something...I tend to describe alternating between brutal, raw, and to the point, to using metaphors and images and analogies. I like both extremes, so people have their own ideas about too much description.

13th November 2005, 7:24 AM
For me, I think I'm more underdescriptive than over. It seems like I can neva end in enough description (or the right description) at least that's what it feels like. (It don't seem like my words flow together either.)

And that's prolly cuz I write my story's more like an episode than an actual story. (Meanin the characters explain their feelings and history when talkin, instead of a narrator doin it for them.)

The Big Al
13th November 2005, 1:12 PM
I like intros in which the bad guys are winning. In the prologue of Team Rocket's Revenge (which eventually turned into Battlefield Tamamushi) Team Rocket had been defeated many months before, however, one of Giovanni's administrators collected the fractors resources of the Team and planned his Revenge on Celadon City. He trapped the helpless citizens of Celadonn under an energy shield.

Ryano Ra
13th November 2005, 3:10 PM
O_O I don't think you overdescribe. Some people have said Serpent Syra overdescribes, but that's only because he uses beautifully uncommon words to describe something...I tend to describe alternating between brutal, raw, and to the point, to using metaphors and images and analogies. I like both extremes, so people have their own ideas about too much description.That is so true. ;_; I've heard that from the first real Fanfiction I posted here, Bloodstained Swords. Though, I'm trying my best to stay away from words I never used before, since I won't know how to use them. I just think it is all of the exotic words I try out, not knowing if they are correctly used or incorrectly applied. ^^;

Anyways, dreams are quite exciting. I love openings where a character is experiencing a horrible nightmare and wakes up somewhere unusual, like a waterless badland that's undergoing primary succession, or a temperate rainforest with bewildering, large Breloom skipping past their eyes. Those are the more mysterious openings that I seem to love.

13th November 2005, 4:28 PM
Me? I'm just starting, but I usually start with an intro or a history of what happened in the past to the current present. I liked Chibi's intro, though, well, amost every fic I read had a good intro, but Dragonfree's one was worth mentioning.

13th November 2005, 7:57 PM
Intros. I'm not really sure what I like in an intro. Although I do like stories that take time to describe a scene that is calm and peaceful just so that the tranquillity can be violently shattered are cool, those are nice.

Rex Kamex
13th November 2005, 9:11 PM
I really don't care how you start a story, just as long as you can grab the readers' attention. The first chapter, in general, is supposed to grab your attention, anyway.

+Chaos Blade+
13th November 2005, 9:13 PM
Here's an excerpt from Bloody Turmoil.

This is basically one that makes you ponder...what the hell happened here!?

Alzuq was a graveyard.

An armored foot stomped on a dusty ground of what used to be a chapel. All he saw were ashy skeletons scattered all over the dirty soil. Each posture of the skeletons were the same shock, horror, fear, surprise. An armored hand picked up one of the skulls gently. It cracked right in his hand, and turned into a pile of ashes. The being started to walk around the chapel, his right hand holding the end of his trusty blade.

He was a Zelfelgor, a beastlike warrior with the features of both Mightyena and Houndoom. Zelfelgor were never found near Alzuq they were the Haven Guard of Nokraz. The beast patrolled the deserted land afraid, and started to shake nervously, losing grip on his blade.

14th November 2005, 5:19 AM
I don't know. I like many different kind of intros, but I will agree that they are vitally important.

When I'm reading fanfiction probably the thing that grips me most is excellent prose. It's so difficult to find on teh intrawebz, and the first paragraph of a fanfic will instantly turn me on or turn me off to a fanfic. If it's mediocre, I'm gone. I'm jaded.

However, I like best mysterious openers. These can be of any form, whether it be creepy dialogue, description, or even introspection. I'm also a sucker for action, and it's so hard to find a gripping pok&#233;battle these days...

Romance makes me scream and run away. Cooties!

Anyway, I'll give most anything a shot if it looks like it's written halfway decently. Things that are overdone, however:

1. Dream sequences. Well, it depends on how they're done. I get annoyed when the opening of a 'fic is an intriguing dream sequence and then the character wakes up and goes, "Wow, that was such a strange dream! Time to go and get my first pok&#233;mon now!"

2. Birth scenes or descriptions of birth. "And then, there was born to the land... a hero..."

3. Death scenes. Often involving the dying character's life flashing before his eyes, which is actually what makes up the rest of the story.

Also, intros that deluge you with information are a snore. Work it in somehow else, I'm never gonna remember it if you cram it all into the first couplea paragraphs.