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Ryano Ra
14th November 2005, 1:45 AM
May the Draconic Gods of Water, Ice, and Fire bless all souls with an eternal soul of happiness, for Serpent Syra is finally showing what he's been working on. ^^;

It's been a long time since I last released a fanfiction, and I believe that it was known as Switchblade Corruption, a Battle Frontier-Lucy fanfiction with action, horror, and fantasy elements mixed into one. For the Battle Frontiers fan who kept with the story, needn't worry; next fall, Lucy and her adoring personality will make a great return with the Kutmerias, that adoring Shuckle, and all. But until then, I plan on completing two other chaptered fanfictions, one in which this is the preview of. And since you don't know, this is actually Heavenly Malevolence under a new title. I deleted the preview and posted this one in a more clean, nicer thread. ^^ So, don't think I'm working on two stories at once. This is nothing but a title change and lots more.

Throughout my time reading magnificent stories, such as Sin by Scrap, Communication by Sike Saner, There Once Were Two Green Eyes by FloatingFlames, and Choice and Consequence by Purple_Drake, I've learned a lot about the english literacy and its majestic artistry. And now, I think that it is time for me to show my true abilities in writing, fantasy, description, and action. The details are more elegant, but still hold themselves in a shorter span of space, the battles are harder and more unique, and fantasy leaks everywhere.

From wild, deranged Breloom performing a Giga Drain ritual to egg-bombing Chansey and a Slinx Insanity Virus, Rhapsody will prove how much of an author I have matured into, learning from the very first day I got here. In my opinion, I feel that this'll be my greatest work ever, and definitely one that I shall finish. I've said that countless of times, I know, but this story gives me such a fantastic vibe every time I see it. I haven't even experienced writer's block or writer's procrastination yet, which means that this work will be completed in no time. Now, enough of my pointless rambling.

Rhapsody takes place in a large new region known as Galabonia. Galabonia is split into six sections by the ocean, that'll lead people to Hoenn within a month or so if they were to take a boat. XD Anyways, I won't reveal much, except for the fact that you'll be seeing a more wild, crazed side of Pokemon than you normally see them. They aren't the average 'wanna-chase-you-laugh-and-play-and-battle-and-be captured' species. They are infected by a virus and are taking the great toll.

Also, Heaven and Hell are under a new name - Heaven is known as Havigma in Galabonia, and Hell is known as Hatill. Havigma accepts the natural fighters, and Galabonia accepts the magical warriors and crazy panther-slicing humans. 8D Now, I bet you wonder why the fantasy fanfiction is named Rhapsody. Well, it's quite simple...once you read all of the story and read the forsaken ending. Now, I plan to prewrite most of this, and since the estimation chapter sum is thirty-two (32 chapters total), I need to complete at least twenty two chapters before I release. That way, I'll only have ten more chapters to write. XP For a release date, it is looking at a Mid/Late December 2005 release, so please bare with me. That's why I'm posting a preview now, and as time progresses and I write more and more chapters, most previews and small excerpts will be posted so you'll stay interested.

(Side Note; As of now, I am working on the eighth chapter, so the good part is only fourteen more chapters to go before it'll be released!)

Alright, I'll shut up now. BUT BE WARNED: Action is presense, and Action + Serpent Syra + Writing: Violence. Not much violent elements, just deadlier battles and perhaps a sickened Breloom who is beaten to death by a Exploud, and it soon eaten by her. 8D But yes, be very warned. Fantasy and Action are a deadly, vicious, oustanding pair when writing. Also, I'd like to thank Scrap very much with her great assistance in giving me chapter titles for some of the chapters. Her help is greatly, greatly appreciated. ^^

Now, here's an excerpt from the first chapter. The story starts in Starkye City, though expands away and ends in Shiranka Skies. And also understand that this is the uneditted version, so you might find mistakes. 8D I haven't proofread them yet, so tell me if you find any mistakes.


PM Notification List
Dias
xXSaberXx
Skywing Knight Joshua
Saffire Persian
Scrap
Sike Saner
~xXSapphireXx~
Magi of All
+Chaos Blade+


Chapter One
Paradise and Rampage
Gentle footsteps crumbled the icy-cerulean petals below as they swayed left and right, dancing and twirling in the winds below striking down onto the blades of verdant green grass. Sunlight deepened the everlasting patterns of pink foliage that grew strikingly in the peaceful meadow, petals peeling from the core and glinting with an otherworldly essence.

Dappled strikes of light beamed through the black branches and their developed clouds of blue leaves, a balmy stream of wind stirring around the serene grassland and intertwining with the fresh, sweet scent. Spheres of orange and pink illumination played through the paddock, flashing iridescent lights across the lovely vicinity. A soft, gentle symphony of violin and cello notes bloomed into the still air, reflecting the happiness that kept the meadow divine and bustling.

The steady hums of a person, and the spirited movement of a catlike creature interrupted the concerto. Deep within the core of Meadow Starr, Zale and his Delcatty participated in a chasing game, keeping voices low and their momentum high and as unreachable as possible. Xialor went diving into bushes, her slender limbs stomping on the ground below and quickening her pace. The twenty-year-old simply leaped over the shrubbery, pursuing after his feline. School had been let out over an hour ago, yet Zale and Xialor were too caught up with having such an enjoyable time with each other.

The young man still had his job at The Complex of Heavenly Owls, but maintained a great schedule on the weekends. He also was promoted to the Adoption Agency Manager, being over the head of the small, adoption-insurance companies that secured the adopted Pokémon. His natural talent with care, and his classes of nurturing and caring while he attacked Craskden Academy was recognized and offered the job to him. During the week, Zale’s devotion went directly to his Pokémon, his teaching at classes, and his contentment.

Zale eventually grabbed his Delcatty and tumbled onto the ocean of grass, laughing and giggling. All was exciting and exquisite until a deathly rumble of thunderous noises. It discontinued all activity and cast a demonic, ethereal feel into the earthy paddock.

Xialor’s eyes flickered with protection, humping her back and keeping a watch as movement rustled in the undergrowth. She was alert and vigilant, jolting her body in several directions while constantly eyeing her owner. Zale’s heart pounded fiercely as a malignant caw crawled through the area, knocking itself through the atmosphere. The essence of darkness spun across the meadow like a disastrous twister. The young man suddenly screamed wildly as a silhouetted figure appeared, zooming past his eyes. His Delcatty ferociously hissed, keeping her body tense and active.

A raspy laugh echoed and somehow made the grass dance and the shrubs gently rustle with pain; Zale sighed, relieved once recognizing the hardy laughter. It was only his Advanced Battling teacher, Professor Paradisa, testing his new ghostly energy spells that he experimented with his fellow students the last couple of days. He sometimes dressed himself in all black, fading into the quietness of all places and scaring young teenagers until they left the land, so he could practice with his baton and his team of Pokémon.

He was a researcher of magic and a battling expert, managing time at utilizing new enchantments to cast over his classes in hopes of possessing their hypnotized skeletons. Then again, the laugh turned into a haunting, desperate cry for joy and happiness. Zale’s Delcatty leaped behind him as he turned around, legs shaking and body staggering back as a large black figure neared him. The cat-like beast sprung into action, but was quickly taken down by a quick flying frame, pushing her into the depths of the uprising darkness. Zale was vulnerable, eventually falling to the ground as the figure blew gold dust into his face.

His eyelids heavily closed; magnificent stars of a moonlit night exploded into existence, calming his heart and putting him out cold. Soon after, he was dragged into the core of the tropical rainforest nearby, disappearing as Xialor meowed hurtfully with a depressing tone. Zale was gone.

Bu†cH
14th November 2005, 2:24 AM
Beautiful and shocking.

Hope you get some good reviews!

Ryano Ra
14th November 2005, 2:47 AM
Beautiful and shocking.

Hope you get some good reviews!Thank you very much, I really appreciate the review for the preview, and your hopes that I obtain good reviews. ^^ I've been working very hard on this, and I truly hope that people will recognize the hard work and dedication I put into this. It's been awhile since I last released a chaptered fanfiction, and all of the ones that I have, they went unfinished. But not this time around. ^^

FloatingFlames
14th November 2005, 3:14 AM
Hmm... description. And good description too. Keep in mind what I said over AIM about too much description though.

Anyways, it was good all the way through, and I enjoyed the shift from calm happiness to suspensful darkness. Although the ending was a little odd, because it seems like it was supposed to be a cliffhanger-esque ending, but the fact that it was his teacher took away from that effect. Unless I misinterpreted it, which is probably it. Anyways, once the fic is posted I'll be sure to be there with a full, indepth review. It looks great so far.

Ryano Ra
14th November 2005, 3:21 AM
Hmm... description. And good description too. Keep in mind what I said over AIM about too much description though.

Anyways, it was good all the way through, and I enjoyed the shift from calm happiness to suspensful darkness. Although the ending was a little odd, because it seems like it was supposed to be a cliffhanger-esque ending, but the fact that it was his teacher took away from that effect. Unless I misinterpreted it, which is probably it. Anyways, once the fic is posted I'll be sure to be there with a full, indepth review. It looks great so far.Yes, I will keep in mind about the description, since that is what my major problem is. I love description too much for words. And thank you very much for the enlightening review of the preview, and I hope to see that full review once I post the story. Keep in mind that there is a Prologue, though I won't post it as a preview. ^^

I did want it to be a cliffhanger at first, but it really messed up what I wanted to happen in the second chapter, which turned out to be completely useless and boring after all. -.-; Yes, it is Profressor Paradisa, though you should be wondering why he captured Zale after school...or is it actually after school hours? Hrhrhr. Ahem! ^_^ Anyways, there will be more cliffhangers spreaded throughout the story, and it won't be teachers capturing Zale. Killings, carrior eaters eating Pokemon, things that'll make you wonder what will happen next. Thanks again, Flames!

Sike Saner
14th November 2005, 10:50 PM
Lovely, as I expected it would be, and quite different from what I've seen from you in the past. You've managed to reveal enough to intrigue me without giving too much of the story away. Very cool. I hope to see you do justice to Xialor as a character, but seeing as how she is a Delcatty, I'm sure that you will treat her with respect. ^_^

Ryano Ra
14th November 2005, 11:17 PM
Lovely, as I expected it would be, and quite different from what I've seen from you in the past. You've managed to reveal enough to intrigue me without giving too much of the story away. Very cool. I hope to see you do justice to Xialor as a character, but seeing as how she is a Delcatty, I'm sure that you will treat her with respect. ^_^Yes, Xialor bring a new light, enjoyable side of the story to life. The first half of the first chapter and second chapter are flashbacks that are two years before the current time in the fanfiction, and Xialor is merely a Skitty. However, if I don't recall telling you all, Xialor is the strawberry-eating Delcatty who's quite an adventurous enigma. So, there will be scenes in her where she gets to the point of fighting other Pokemon, just so they'd tell her where the 'land of strawberries' is. XD

Thank for you the review for this preview, Sike. It means a lot coming from you. ^^ This story is very much different from what I usually write, which is why I think it'll succeed a bit better than my last clan of fanfictions (Sunfire & Mudburn, Switchblade Corruption, Bloodstained Swords, The Concrete Dragonriders, and The Elegance of Divinity.) Sky is more elegant in its simple, one-worded title, and yet, holds more meaning to all of my previous stories combined. 8D Again, thank you ever so much!

jirachiman876
17th November 2005, 2:46 AM
Kinda wierd that his own teacher would kidnap him. Meh. Well, good preview here. Me likies. okie now I'm confused. You said this was that other fic yet you started out with a different start. Will the grumpig come in later??? Well, since this is a preview and you will change stuff I'm going to rip this apart. Mwhahaha not really though I did find some things.

were too caught up with having such an enjoyable time with each other.

Okie, usually if someone says they were too caught up in something there would be an effect to that. Without the effect it seems like a fragment of the sentence.

His natural talent with care, and his classes of nurturing and caring while he attacked Craskden Academy was recognized and offered the job to him.

First, a little redundant with care maybe change it to something or drop the description. Second, Who offered the job to who??? To many his' and he's.
The young man suddenly screamed wildly as a silhouetted figure appeared,
zooming past his eyes

Two things again. First I wouldn't really scream wildly. Drop the adverb. Also you've already got two verbs that show the same thing. I recomend

A sillhoutted figure shot past his eyes.

So ya. I don't want to wait until december especailly mid-december for this. I wasnt it now. *shakes rattle* lol.
jirachiman out ;385;

Ryano Ra
17th November 2005, 2:22 PM
Kinda wierd that his own teacher would kidnap him. Meh. Well, good preview here. Me likies. okie now I'm confused. You said this was that other fic yet you started out with a different start. Will the grumpig come in later??? Well, since this is a preview and you will change stuff I'm going to rip this apart. Mwhahaha not really though I did find some things.

were too caught up with having such an enjoyable time with each other.

Okie, usually if someone says they were too caught up in something there would be an effect to that. Without the effect it seems like a fragment of the sentence.

His natural talent with care, and his classes of nurturing and caring while he attacked Craskden Academy was recognized and offered the job to him.

First, a little redundant with care maybe change it to something or drop the description. Second, Who offered the job to who??? To many his' and he's.
The young man suddenly screamed wildly as a silhouetted figure appeared,
zooming past his eyes

Two things again. First I wouldn't really scream wildly. Drop the adverb. Also you've already got two verbs that show the same thing. I recomend

A sillhoutted figure shot past his eyes.

So ya. I don't want to wait until december especailly mid-december for this. I wasnt it now. *shakes rattle* lol.
jirachiman out ;385;Yes, it is a bit weird that his own teacher would kidnap him, but the reason is quite silly in my opinion. ^^ It'll be explained in the beginning of Chapter Two: A Mystical Nightmare, which is definitely a chapter full of development of character in both Zale and Profressor Paradisa. Also, thank you so much for finding out the awkwardness and mistakes; now I have something to change when I go back and heavily proofread the chapter. ^^ Thank you so much for reviewing the preview, Jirachiman. I won't let you down this time around; I will complete this story.

And, are you talking about Exhaled: Luminosity Fatality? I am completing that story once I finish this one, since I definitely won't put it to waste. I love writing about Grumpig and violence and blood and horror, and that story will help make my horror-literature abilities better. I was saying that Heavenly Malevolence is this story, just it's title was changed to Sky. The Prologue is the same, I just decided to this time post the end of the first chapter.

Saffire Persian
17th November 2005, 11:52 PM
I'm quite happy you're keeping Xiolor in the cast of characters. I love her already, and look forward to having her in the narrative. Biased as I may be towards the feline kind, I would have liked her if she was another Pokemon... but, one can't help obsessions, can they?

The description was excellent, and I like the setting of the story. A school - you don't see that quite often, given the amount of "journey-fics" you see springing out of the grass. His kind demeanor that you portray is also very likable.

I look forward to reading this.

Ryano Ra
17th November 2005, 11:59 PM
I'm quite happy you're keeping Xiolor in the cast of characters. I love her already, and look forward to having her in the narrative. Biased as I may be towards the feline kind, I would have liked her if she was another Pokemon... but, one can't help obsessions, can they?

The description was excellent, and I like the setting of the story. A school - you don't see that quite often, given the amount of "journey-fics" you see springing out of the grass. His kind demeanor that you portray is also very likable.

I look forward to reading this.^^ Thank you so much, Saffire Persian! ^.^ And I've been meaning to review your new story, since I hear it has an Absol and a Mawile that are fantastic characters.

Please take note that the story starts in Starkye, at the school, but ends very shortly and starts expanding away, going through rainforests, sailing across the water to hit the third section of Galabonia, and so on and so forth. However, I was thinking about having any fanfiction (after I finish Sky) take place in Starkye, preferably the Dragon Wing's Dome (which you'll learn about in the second chapter) with two dragonriders with the same dream. ^^ I also love Xialor, because I love felines, her character is strongly unique, and she loves to eat strawberries. 8D So there will be lots of scenes where she gets very angered when she hasn't eaten strawberries in four hours. XD

And I'm assuming you would have liked the Delcatty to become a Persian? I do love Persian quite more than Delcatty, but Zale's adversary has a Persian. ^^ Thanks again for the review, it means a lot coming from you.

Saffire Persian
18th November 2005, 12:17 AM
And I'm assuming you would have liked the Delcatty to become a Persian? I do love Persian quite more than Delcatty, but Zale's adversary has a Persian. ^^ Thanks again for the review, it means a lot coming from you.

;^^... thanks. And no, I wouldn't want Delcatty to become a Persian... Personally, I think characters are who they're meant to be... and the personality the Delcatty has I think fits her species as well. *tries to imagine a strawberry-eating Persian.* Personally, I wouldn't change her for anything right now, I'm happy with your choice. I never see Delcatty in fanfiction that much - so it'll be a treat for me.

Although I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that the fact you have a Persian in the story makes me very, very, very happy. And excited. When are you planning to premiere this story?

I look forward to 'travel' this new world of yours - that's what Fantasy is for, no? As soon as you post the full story, drop me a line if I don't notice, and I'll review right away.

Ryano Ra
18th November 2005, 12:24 AM
Well, my goal is to reach Chapter Twenty-Two, where most of the story will be prewritten so I'll only have ten more chapters to write. Chapter Eight is a longer chapter than most of them (the average is seven or eight pages, chapter eight might be ten or eleven), but after I finish that chapter, swimming through the next ten or eleven chapters will be a pure breeze. I'm used to writing six, seven, or eight pages each chapter (since that's how I like to write my typical fantasy stories for some strange reason), and since a couple will be a bit shorter (maybe five or six pages), I'll reach the twenty-second chapter in notime.

I only have fourteen more chapters to write before releasing it, and I won't be able to tell until I actually write up to around the eighteen or nineteenth chapter. But, roughly, I'm saying sometime around Christmas, definitely before the new year. That's the estimation, though it could come sooner, or actually on New Year's Even/New Year's Day. Then again, if school becomes as busy as I think it will, it might come around Early/Mid January. It really depends on my pace, my motivation, and my available time. The more of each, the faster it'll come. ^^

Dias
20th November 2005, 5:19 PM
This, of course, looks to be another promising work. I am glad to see that you have such a full plan in motion and I look forward to seeing the completion that you are determined on. It becomes increasingly difficult to keep any piece going, and finishing a work of this calibur would be quite the accomplishment; especially after thirty two chapters.

As usual, I was drawn into the description and fluidity of language that is evident in all of your fics. It really is top notch here, and I wouldn't be surprised to see those who make a habit of running around branding such beautiful writing "purple prose" pop in. But, as I always say, to Hell with them. I, for one, am glad to see more description and adjectives in writing, and I believe you can trust me whern I say that this is far from being over-descriptive.


I'll be looking forward, of course, to reading this once it makes its debut, so do not hesitate to notify me when that day comes about.

Good luck.

Ryano Ra
20th November 2005, 5:35 PM
This, of course, looks to be another promising work. I am glad to see that you have such a full plan in motion and I look forward to seeing the completion that you are determined on. It becomes increasingly difficult to keep any piece going, and finishing a work of this calibur would be quite the accomplishment; especially after thirty two chapters.

As usual, I was drawn into the description and fluidity of language that is evident in all of your fics. It really is top notch here, and I wouldn't be surprised to see those who make a habit of running around branding such beautiful writing "purple prose" pop in. But, as I always say, to Hell with them. I, for one, am glad to see more description and adjectives in writing, and I believe you can trust me when I say that this is far from being over-descriptive.

I'll be looking forward, of course, to reading this once it makes its debut, so do not hesitate to notify me when that day comes about.

Good luck.Thank you very much for the review, Dias. I will definitely notify you when this debuts, which I plan to do once I finish half of the story, which is around sixteen chapters or so. I think I can handle writing the rest while I release half of the story instead of waiting twenty-two chatpers to do so. It is a much more reasonable goal, and the ending chapters are only a page or two longer than the first half of the story (six-eight pages, the second half is seven-ten pages).

I love to have description and adjectives blossom in writing. Though, this will be greater description in a shorter span of paragraphs, probably loosing the more unnecessary details and such. But, I do classify myself as a descriptive author (which is very apparent here), so I tend to disregard those who look at the "purple prose". I really plan on completing this story, since it has a certain feel to it and I haven't experienced writer's block to this day since I first began writing it. I thank you again for reviewing the preview, Dias. It means a lot coming from such a talented author as yourself.

Ryano Ra
3rd December 2005, 5:38 PM
ANNOUNCEMENT

I haven't yet found a concrete date for the release of this story, though I have only two more weeks of school before Christmas Break. I plan on completing a few chapters today and tomorrow, completing the long eleventh chapter and a normal twelvth chapter (pages around 6-8), but I am hoping to get it posted before New Year's Eve/New Year's Day comes along, so I can have this story completely wrapped up in late February/March/April, moving along my schedule and working on another fantasy Pokemon fanfiction (The Concrete Dragonriders). But, there is a slight chance that it'll come sometime in early January, latest being around in mid. It is really unpredictable at this stage, but being as 1/3 of it is already completed, it'll probably be seen after Christmas, maybe Christmas night.

Also, if you reviewed the Prologue to Heavenly Malevolence, realize that it is the same here, but will be changed. There will not be anymore ground elephants (Donphan), but will be switched with a more...divine creature. 8D Anyways, that is all. ^^

xXSaberXx
5th December 2005, 4:55 AM
ROFFLES. And here I am, the lame author that still uses the words 'blue' and 'pretty' and 'happiness'.

Seriously though dear, this was very nice. There were some points upon which I was confused, such as the end when the actual process of the teacher going up to his student to blow the dust in his face. Musta been all the good description. ROFLMAO. x4. Yes. x4 is the ultimate smilie. xP BOW DOWN TO IT!

AHEM. Anyhoo. Great description. I kinda found the fact Zale didn't talk WEIRD, but it was a short span of time in the fic. He may not have had time to talk at all. *dance* And a Delcatty. Yum. No more overused LARVITARS AND BLACK CHARIZARDS LAWL.

Luffs to you, and add me to the contact list! ^.^

*hugs*

Saber.

Ryano Ra
5th December 2005, 5:01 AM
ROFFLES. And here I am, the lame author that still uses the words 'blue' and 'pretty' and 'happiness'.

Seriously though dear, this was very nice. There were some points upon which I was confused, such as the end when the actual process of the teacher going up to his student to blow the dust in his face. Musta been all the good description. ROFLMAO. x4. Yes. x4 is the ultimate smilie. xP BOW DOWN TO IT!

AHEM. Anyhoo. Great description. I kinda found the fact Zale didn't talk WEIRD, but it was a short span of time in the fic. He may not have had time to talk at all. *dance* And a Delcatty. Yum. No more overused LARVITARS AND BLACK CHARIZARDS LAWL.

Luffs to you, and add me to the contact list! ^.^

*hugs*

Saber.Oh no, please don't be confused! ;_; If you find anything confusing, just let me know; this is still in the process of being worked upon, and I want to make things (description) as clear as possible. And yes, teacher blows dust in his student's face. I wonder what is going to happen? OH NOES! CATS IN THE TOWER OF CATNIP! *joins them*

Anyways, glad to hear that you enjoyed this. ^^ I need to compile a Contact List, for I know some will want to be notified when it is released. However, I must congratulate you on pointing out something very significant; Zale didn't talk. Syra has a confession! OH NOES! To be honest, dialogue is pretty low (meaning there isn't that much) until around the twelvth chapter, when he'll start communicating to his Pokemon so I can develop his way of speech and overall character. And I shall use that ultimate smilie! x4

And yes, a Delcatty. 8D They are great, especially one who loves to eat strawberries and drink strawberries milkshakes and strawberry smoothies! Much love, Saber, much love. ^^ Thank you very much for the review, it is most appreciated.

Saffire Persian
6th December 2005, 5:45 AM
However, I must congratulate you on pointing out something very significant; Zale didn't talk. Syra has a confession! OH NOES! To be honest, dialogue is pretty low (meaning there isn't that much) until around the twelvth chapter, when he'll start communicating to his Pokemon so I can develop his way of speech and overall character.

Hmm... by this do you mean unable to talk, or that he just isn't a talkative person? I'm quite curious. Not much dialogue? I like dialogue.. ah well, your descriptions make up for it. How you can write all that description without making it feel all bogged down is an amazement to me.

Another odd question out of the blue, but I really would like an answer to it.

Say you could have some music to this - instrumental music mind you. What would it sound like? The main theme at least.. or something.

Odd question.. I know.. XD.... but humor me.

Joshua - Shadow Brigadier
6th December 2005, 11:20 AM
while he attacked Craskden Academy

Is that supposed to be there, or should it be attended?

All and all...

I LOVED IT!

This is beautiful. I love your description, and... *swoons* a Delcatty!


Dappled strikes of light beamed through the black branches and their developed clouds of blue leaves, a balmy stream of wind stirring around the serene grassland and intertwining with the fresh, sweet scent. Spheres of orange and pink illumination played through the paddock, flashing iridescent lights across the lovely vicinity. A soft, gentle symphony of violin and cello notes bloomed into the still air, reflecting the happiness that kept the meadow divine and bustling.

I shall just say I love this entire paragraph, and be done with it. But dappled strikes? I assume you mean streaks.

And if you are making a Contact List, may I request to be on it? This looks wonderful, and I'd love to read more.

Joshua

Ryano Ra
7th December 2005, 12:03 AM
Hmm... by this do you mean unable to talk, or that he just isn't a talkative person? I'm quite curious. Not much dialogue? I like dialogue.. ah well, your descriptions make up for it. How you can write all that description without making it feel all bogged down is an amazement to me.

Another odd question out of the blue, but I really would like an answer to it.

Say you could have some music to this - instrumental music mind you. What would it sound like? The main theme at least.. or something.

Odd question.. I know.. XD.... but humor me.Unfortunately, I got carried away with all of the action and feelings of Zale and his Pokemon that I hadn't realized how much dialogue I could have added to it. XD But, around the thirteenth chapter, you'll see lots of dialogue coming from Zale and his Pokemon, if I don't edit the shorter chapters by giving them dialogue. Zale is just a normal man with a warrior status - he's a warrior. ^^ I should have made him talk more to some of the minor characters, though, I become quite eager when writing about action.

(And as of now, I will start working on the thirteenth chapter once I finish dinner, call up a few of my friends, and complete homework. So, perhaps tomorrow would be a good day...XD)

Instrumental music? Hmm, that is an odd question...but that's one to think about! Hmm...maybe some triumphant, wild music? o.o Hmm...maybe like a gentle song coming along and then crazed tones bash it, ending it in pure silence? x.o.<;;


Quote:
while he attacked Craskden AcademyIs that supposed to be there, or should it be attended?

All and all...

I LOVED IT!

This is beautiful. I love your description, and... *swoons* a Delcatty!


Quote:
Dappled strikes of light beamed through the black branches and their developed clouds of blue leaves, a balmy stream of wind stirring around the serene grassland and intertwining with the fresh, sweet scent. Spheres of orange and pink illumination played through the paddock, flashing iridescent lights across the lovely vicinity. A soft, gentle symphony of violin and cello notes bloomed into the still air, reflecting the happiness that kept the meadow divine and bustling.I shall just say I love this entire paragraph, and be done with it. But dappled strikes? I assume you mean streaks.

And if you are making a Contact List, may I request to be on it? This looks wonderful, and I'd love to read more.

JoshuaYes, I will be making a Contact List later tonight, so I can know who to PM when Sky makes its debut. ^^

First, thank you so much for taking out some of your time and reviewing the preview, Joshua. It really means a lot coming from such a great author (and I assume you still are?). Yes, the first one is definitely the mistake; it is suppose to be 'attended', not 'attacked'. He's not the one who attacks Craskden Academy...*rolls around gleefully*. The second one, however, could be either streaks or strikes; strikes meant that the light was coming in 'strikes', not 'streaks' through the foliage and grass and shrubs and stuff. Though, streaks does sound so much cooler.

MEOWAGE.

Yes, a Delcatty...who loves strawberries...she hasn't made an appearance in Sky lately, though, from where I'm currently at, so I need to make up the lostness by giving her more parts, hilarious parts, which means thoughts and dialogue from the wild purple-ruff feline. 8D Again, thanks for the review!

Joshua - Shadow Brigadier
7th December 2005, 12:55 AM
Yes, I will be making a Contact List later tonight, so I can know who to PM when Sky makes its debut. ^^

First, thank you so much for taking out some of your time and reviewing the preview, Joshua. It really means a lot coming from such a great author (and I assume you still are?). Yes, the first one is definitely the mistake; it is suppose to be 'attended', not 'attacked'. He's not the one who attacks Craskden Academy...*rolls around gleefully*. The second one, however, could be either streaks or strikes; strikes meant that the light was coming in 'strikes', not 'streaks' through the foliage and grass and shrubs and stuff. Though, streaks does sound so much cooler.

MEOWAGE.

Yes, a Delcatty...who loves strawberries...she hasn't made an appearance in Sky lately, though, from where I'm currently at, so I need to make up the lostness by giving her more parts, hilarious parts, which means thoughts and dialogue from the wild purple-ruff feline. 8D Again, thanks for the review!

*reads* *faints*

A great author? Wow, thank you. Yep, I'm still writing, but my last fic is under heavy revision. Should I send you a PM when I get it up and running?

A Delcatty with a love for strawberries? Interesting. I look forward to more of your fantastic work.

I reread the preview, and couldn't find any more errors then the one I pointed out above. A beautiful piece that I can't wait to read more of.

Joshua

Ryano Ra
7th December 2005, 1:09 AM
*reads* *faints*

A great author? Wow, thank you. Yep, I'm still writing, but my last fic is under heavy revision. Should I send you a PM when I get it up and running?

A Delcatty with a love for strawberries? Interesting. I look forward to more of your fantastic work.

I reread the preview, and couldn't find any more errors then the one I pointed out above. A beautiful piece that I can't wait to read more of.

JoshuaGood, good. ^^ I was really hoping that you haven't quite given up upon writing, since I always wanted to review your works instead of secretly closet-reading. *points to sky* Yes, you must send me a PM when you are done fixing it to your desires and needs.

MEOWNAGE. >3

I was thinking about posting another preview, maybe the second-half of the twelvth chapter, but it needs to undergo a few changes before I post it up, but maybe I should let you guys bleed in impatience and agony. But, I will say that legendaries will be within this fanfiction (Suicune, Entei, Raikou, and Lugia) so there will be parts of chapters where I'll be focused mainly on them, and for fun, I will notify everybody that they have been infected with the Slinx Insanity Virus. It will be plainly noticed, but the scenes will be describing what the virus does to them specifically.

Ryano Ra
19th December 2005, 7:21 PM
Sorry for the double-post in this thread, but this is a great update upon news relating to the chaptered story, Sky.

I was definitely planning an after-Christmas release, and things are looking very promising for a Spring 2006 release. Sometime in early January shall this story be released, for I plan to do some extreme writing over my two-week Christmas break. At this very moment, things are moving quite smoothly, for I am working on the Chapter Fifteen, entitled The Shades of Black and White, being one of my longer chapters than average. However, after gathering nearly all of my past stories, which did have much potential, I decided to do something quite interesting.

Parts of chapters from Bloodstained Swords, Switchblade Corruption, and Exhaled: Luminosity Fatality have been incorporated into this thirty-two-chaptered wonderland. For example, readers'll detect that the first part of the fifteenth chapter has been converted from one of my older infamous stories, which I always told myself I would finish, but couldn't, since I lost most of its data. ;_; I only have a Prologue and two chapters from it, for which the first two unrevised chapters'll be cleaned up drastically and used as the first two in my next story, The Concrete Dragonriders.

So, for those who were fans of my past stories, you'll be seeing that they'll be used in Sky, so no worries. ^^ I am almost half-way through the entire story, and I haven't experienced writer's block or writer's procrastination yet. Yes, yes, things are looking oh-so promising and beautiful for this fanfiction. Also, since the release will be coming within three or four more weeks (not for sure, however; it is most likely to change, being set further back for my convenience), I have created a PM Notification List. Please contact me if you would like to be on it; it's a chained PM that goes around for those who'd like to keep track of updates and such for the story. Also, would you guys like to read another preview?

Burnt Flower
20th December 2005, 12:07 AM
Heh, just like I promised Ra; I'm finally here.

I think there was a very noticeable (yet an overall improvement) difference on your description since you seem to be more comfortable and know exactly what words you're using. I especially liked the first paragraph, since it demonstrates clearly your descriptive/writing skills. I was pleasantly pleased with the opening, perhaps my favorite part. There were a lot of names, which sometimes confused me (I have a bad memory), but I guess when I read more chapters I'll remember all their names/places/etc.

I also liked these two parts:

The essence of darkness spun across the meadow like a disastrous twister.

Soon after, he was dragged into the core of the tropical rainforest nearby, disappearing as Xialor meowed hurtfully with a depressing tone. Zale was gone.

There were some errors, however:

Zale eventually grabbed his Delcatty and tumbled onto the ocean of grass, laughing and giggling.
Original, yet a bit confusing way to describe an expanse of grass.


Zale’s heart pounded fiercely as a malignant caw crawled through the area, knocking itself through the atmosphere.
I think 'knocking' could be replaced with another word. Doesn't fit in too well in this particular sentence.

Congrats! I enjoyed this a lot. I'll check this fic out when it comes out.

Ryano Ra
20th December 2005, 2:36 AM
You reviewed, you reviewed! *raises arms and waves them wildly in the air*

Thank you very, very much, Burnt Flower, for the wonderful review, and mistake-finding. Yes, I tried my very best to use words that I am definitely comfortable with, and therefore, my description length was majorly cut, but the uniqueness and beautifulness is more pleasant than any of my past stories. And thank you very much for the finding the two mistakes; when I get around to thoroughly proofreading the chapters once or twice, I'll make sure to change them to sound more original, yet not confusing.

As for the names of characters and places, they are a bit different from average, yes they are. I have places such as Starkye City, Meadow Starr, Tayl Rainforest, Zalphin Port, Tailspin Port, Shiranka Skies, and much, much more. This region is split into six large parts, and for the next stories that I make, I will feature them in different parts of Galabonia. ^^ Thanks again, Burnt Flower! I really appreciate it!

ANNOUNCEMENT
After PMing with a great friend of mine, Scrap, this story is undergoing another title change. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that Sky really does not fit with the virus, the characters, the events, and the overall blossoming plot. I will keep you guys tuned in into how the title change will come, and I will ask Dragonfree, when I decide what the new title'll be, to change the thread's title to fit the needs.

EDIT: The new title for this story is now Rhapsody. I realized how better the word fits with the characters and the plot and the surroundings and such. And I know, Brinstar had a story called Rhapsody, but mine is much far different from his.

Saffire Persian
20th December 2005, 5:01 AM
XD.. yet another title change. ^^ But it sounds good - I'm a fan for music terms, anyway. Oh! Please add me to the PM list.

Kiyohime
20th December 2005, 5:04 AM
*dances the bumpty-bumpty-bump dance* Blame me for the title change. XD

ADD ME TO THAR PM LIST YE OLDE KNIGHT OF GARBLITA OR WHATEVER THAT WAS. X0

Ryano Ra
20th December 2005, 5:20 AM
*dances the bumpty-bumpty-bump dance* Blame me for the title change. XD

ADD ME TO THAR PM LIST YE OLDE KNIGHT OF GARBLITA OR WHATEVER THAT WAS. X0XDDDDD Oh Scrap, you definitely crack me up!

*ahem* That is the Galtra Knight. ^^ *ahem*

*laughs* Garblita. XD

Ahh, but the title fits better than Sky, for I plan even MORE plans for this story as I write chapter after chapter during this two-week Christmas break of mine. And I must thank you for the fantastic banner. ^^ Thou shall be added to thar PM List to be thou request, which shall be taken immediate. Thank you for reviewing it, it really means a lot that you took out some of your valuable time to read this. It enlightens me.

EDIT: I am terribly sorry, Saffire Persian, for not responding to your post. I didn't even see it. XD You shall be added to the PM List immediately!

Sike Saner
22nd December 2005, 3:40 AM
I am already on your PM notification list. You just don't know it yet. XDDD

No, seriously, do put me on the list, yes. Keeping track of things is very important, and that'll definitely help. ^_^

Ryano Ra
22nd December 2005, 3:47 AM
I am already on your PM notification list. You just don't know it yet. XDDD

No, seriously, do put me on the list, yes. Keeping track of things is very important, and that'll definitely help. ^_^XD Sike, should I need to bash myself upside the head for not seeing your head on the PM Notification List? XDD

I'll add you immediately. I did this so that when people are busy (away/on the forums) and they lose track of constantly checking on the Fanfiction forum to see if there are any updates, the PM can go around for those to keep track of it. I encourage every reader/reviewer of this to get on the PM Notification List, though I'm not forcing you to be. ^^

Chapter Progress:
Things are looking fantastic. I am officially half-way through Rhapsody, meaning sixteen more chapters to go before I have completed my first fanfiction (though this isn't the first I attempted. XD). I'm currently writing the seventeenth chapter, which should take a day or two, same following for the eighteenth chapter. They are longer-than-long chapters (the first two chapters were ten pages; these will be twelve-fifteen pages of action), due to the small horror elements, violence, small gore, and action. I hope I do justice with those two chapters.

Shadowcat
22nd December 2005, 3:59 AM
The Complex of Heavenly Owls

ROFL SS! Really... Anyways, beautiful... Really...

Excellent SS, I finally got my lazy a** off and post a review. Anyways, put me on the PM Notification List/Notification List or whatsoever you call it...

Anyways, I love Rhapsody. Now, PUT ME ON THE LIST SYRA! *is hyper*

Ryano Ra
22nd December 2005, 4:10 AM
ROFL SS! Really... Anyways, beautiful... Really...

Excellent SS, I finally got my lazy a** off and post a review. Anyways, put me on the PM Notification List/Notification List or whatsoever you call it...

Anyways, I love Rhapsody. Now, PUT ME ON THE LIST SYRA! *is hyper*Heh, glad somebody pointed that out.

"The Complex of Heavenly Owls" is basically a Pokemon Adoption Agency where you find abandoned, lost Pokemon either found homeless in the wild, or taken away from their abusive owners. In Galabonia, you only find certain pre-evolved Pokemon in the wild. Others are too weak to fend themselves off of predators, such as large Breloom, Mantine, Flygon, Cacturne, Salamence, and so on and so forth, and the adoption agencies hunt for them so they can have a good home. ^^

*touches sword on shoulder* I shall immediately be of your request and add you to the PM notification list. I like that name...SS...though, you can always call me Syra if you grow tired of calling be 'The Double-S'. ^^ Thank you for the enlightening review; it is much, very much, appreciated.

Angelstorm
23rd December 2005, 3:54 AM
(I have got to get out out of word, I've been writing and thinking to hard to notice things passing by. >_<, Thanks to Scrap I'm trying a hand at reviewing and writing stories too.)

Your descriptions have been mind-blowing, your characters a cascade of emotions and more. I've been amazed by your fantasy stories, and I don't think my amazement will ever cease. I would think of more to say for this paragraph, but my mind isn't working well right now...
I remember the original version of 'Pink Sea' and that is what perked some of my interest when I first came here. So I've seen how some your writing has changed over the past year. But this takes the cake so far. (Strawberry cake. ^^)
Legendaries possessed to become fine one moment and insane the next? Warriors, companions, fantasy, battles, and much more that has yet to be revealed. And all that we know is mixed together in an amazing fantasy fic? Just to stop asking questions I'll say, terrific!

Well I look forward to this fic!
I have no idea what else to say...

indigestible_wad
23rd December 2005, 8:10 AM
Well the tv is on right now. I can't read when when noises are constantly distracting me and my dad won't let me turn it off so I'll just have to say that it did seem interesting from what I could focus on. I will try to read this when it comes out though. Maybe make a better comment tomorrow.

Ryano Ra
23rd December 2005, 2:47 PM
(I have got to get out out of word, I've been writing and thinking to hard to notice things passing by. >_<, Thanks to Scrap I'm trying a hand at reviewing and writing stories too.)

Your descriptions have been mind-blowing, your characters a cascade of emotions and more. I've been amazed by your fantasy stories, and I don't think my amazement will ever cease. I would think of more to say for this paragraph, but my mind isn't working well right now...

I remember the original version of 'Pink Sea' and that is what perked some of my interest when I first came here. So I've seen how some your writing has changed over the past year. But this takes the cake so far. (Strawberry cake. ^^)

Legendaries possessed to become fine one moment and insane the next? Warriors, companions, fantasy, battles, and much more that has yet to be revealed. And all that we know is mixed together in an amazing fantasy fic? Just to stop asking questions I'll say, terrific!

Well I look forward to this fic!
I have no idea what else to say...o.o *gives her the legendary sword of beauty and justice, Skarie* *jumps into the magical infinity*

You really don't know how much that put a smile on my face. Just to see how much you enjoyed the description and characterization enlightens me skip throught the air. >3 I love to write about fantasy, and I really, really, hope that I'll be able to show people how my description has changed, since a year's back, I used to use words I was very unfamiliar with. Now that I found words that actually fit my story, I think that it has heightened my details to another level. And I am very, very glad that you enjoyed this. ^^ Thank you so much for reviewing, Angelstorm, and good luck with writing. If you need any help or assistance, I am always here to help you. ^^

Would you like to be added to the PM Notification List?

Well the tv is on right now. I can't read when when noises are constantly distracting me and my dad won't let me turn it off so I'll just have to say that it did seem interesting from what I could focus on. I will try to read this when it comes out though. Maybe make a better comment tomorrow.Wad! *gives him a baby Charmander egg*

*ahem* Galtra traditions, you'll have to excuse me. ^^ First, I understand if you weren't able to concentrate, and I'm really glad that despite that, you tried your best and focused on the story, finding what you were really to successfully read, interesting. It means a lot that you took out some of your time and reviewed this, Wad, it is really appreciated by me. ^^ Thank you so much for the review!

As asked before, would you like to be added to the PM Notification List?

indigestible_wad
23rd December 2005, 7:11 PM
Well I've read this now and I will try my best not to make a review. I will, however, not be able to stop myself from a few tiny things that I thought might help out.

It seemed to me the Xialor was another human until the end of the passage. THat and there was a large ammount of pronoun use. Everything else can wait until the story. I don't enjoy making corrections for previews.

And as for the list, I'll say htis for everyone that asks me, if it eases your heart to put me on there, then do so, but if I take too much time to send a pm or something of the sort, then don't. I generally can find out when new stuff comes out.

Ryano Ra
24th December 2005, 1:39 AM
Well I've read this now and I will try my best not to make a review. I will, however, not be able to stop myself from a few tiny things that I thought might help out.

It seemed to me the Xialor was another human until the end of the passage. THat and there was a large ammount of pronoun use. Everything else can wait until the story. I don't enjoy making corrections for previews.

And as for the list, I'll say htis for everyone that asks me, if it eases your heart to put me on there, then do so, but if I take too much time to send a pm or something of the sort, then don't. I generally can find out when new stuff comes out.Oh, rest assured, the first two chapters are filled with description, adjectives, and pronouns, so I could create the best possible picture of Starkye, the surroundings, and such, as possible. When I make new regions, you start to see how my description just moves to another level, and Rhapsody is more like a first fanfiction for me completing. There will be things I'll need to work on, and as I progress through the story, you will definitely notice that I'm learning more and helping the writing be as smooth as possible.

Hmm...Xialor seemed like another human? Well, I'll try my best and clear things up, making her seem her nature (feline-like), though this is the end of the first chapter, and the other nine and 1/2 pages constantly mention her as the wild feline, Delcatty, or just plain Xialor. ^^ But, this'll give me more of a challenge! Thank you for the things you have pointed out, it is most taken into consideration and appreciated. And the PM Notification List will be sent chapter-ly (every chapter, or installment), as well as when the story first comes out. ^^

Chapter Progress:
I am still working on the seventeenth chapter, which is now moving onto its nineth page. I am not finished, however, with the entire chapter, but I plan to be by later tonight. I took me a bit comtemplating on two grass-death names for Zale and his Pokemon to travel and explore in (The House of Green Leaves, and The Verdant Sanctuary, both places where you'll meet a special surprise. >3), but now, things are smoothly for the chapter. I really want to get to the Suicune confrontation in Chapter Eighteen: Bloodstained Daggers, another fourteen-jazillion paged chapter. ;_;

I have, as well, started jotting down many ideas for the next fanfiction after this, The Concrete Dragonriders, which will be deeply fantasy and pure action. So, my mind has been a bit occupied with stirring ideas around. I plan to start working on that fanfiction by early/mid February.

Magi of all
25th December 2005, 1:03 AM
Just read your preview and i have to say, this is one of the better fics I have read. Although I may just ba happy to find something good after seeing spam fic after spam fic pop up in the forum. Your description is top notch. It really drew me into the scene. However, when you changed to the dark scene where Zale is captured, it seemd a bit rushed and your description is lacking. When you talk about the professor whos name escapes me, something feels off with the description. He almost seems like a magic prankster insted of the villan. Not sure if you were going for that. But everything else feels good. So good that I would like to be added to the PM list. Thanks in advance, Magi of all

Ryano Ra
25th December 2005, 1:15 AM
Just read your preview and i have to say, this is one of the better fics I have read. Although I may just ba happy to find something good after seeing spam fic after spam fic pop up in the forum. Your description is top notch. It really drew me into the scene. However, when you changed to the dark scene where Zale is captured, it seemd a bit rushed and your description is lacking. When you talk about the professor whos name escapes me, something feels off with the description. He almost seems like a magic prankster insted of the villan. Not sure if you were going for that. But everything else feels good. So good that I would like to be added to the PM list. Thanks in advance, Magi of all*flies to the heavens upon Zalgtr, the Salamence* Thank you so much for the enlightening review, Magi, I really appreciate it. And, it is a pleasure meeting you, since I haven't seen you around the fanfiction boards, from my knowledge and memory.

Well, for the dark scene, I didn't want to constantly linger over the scene, slowing down the process. Basically, I made it where Professor Paradisa snatches him up with the accompany of his tricker-spells and chants and gold dust, which I had to describe based on how fast it happened, and such. And, Professor Paradisa is a teacher of magic and Pokemon battling, and I'd describe him more of as a Magic Prankster rather than a villian. He's a minor character and again, the second chapter will definitely explain what has happened and why Zale's teacher captured him. But no, definitely was I not trying to go for him as a villian.

Again, thank you so much for the review, and thou shall be added to thee PM list to do thee's request. ^^

Chapter Progress:
Unfortunately, I've only written a page of the eighteenth chapter. Christmas festivities and last-minute-grocery-shopping has occupied my time, as well as trying to read the rest of Eldest (which most find ugly, but I find it awe-inspiring and something greatly interesting), but hopefully, I'll be able to write a bit tomorrow night when I am done with celebrating the fabulous holiday and I need to work my mind, and wrapping things up for the 20th chapter by Monday night. o.o *runs to read more*

Joshua - Shadow Brigadier
25th December 2005, 1:35 PM
Chapter Progress:
Unfortunately, I've only written a page of the eighteenth chapter. Christmas festivities and last-minute-grocery-shopping has occupied my time, as well as trying to read the rest of Eldest (which most find ugly, but I find it awe-inspiring and something greatly interesting), but hopefully, I'll be able to write a bit tomorrow night when I am done with celebrating the fabulous holiday and I need to work my mind, and wrapping things up for the 20th chapter by Monday night. o.o *runs to read more*

Finally, another fan of Eldest!

Anyway, I've popped in to say I like the title change. Rhapsody, what a great name.

And I shall await your PM.

Joshua

Ryano Ra
25th December 2005, 8:21 PM
Finally, another fan of Eldest!

Anyway, I've popped in to say I like the title change. Rhapsody, what a great name.

And I shall await your PM.

Joshua*whispers* Won't be on much today, I have things to do and a holiday to celebrate all day long. *whispers*

Glad that you like the title change; I really like it myself. Rhapsody has more of a...fantasy touch than Sky did, if you get what I am saying. The only reason I named the story Sky, at the second title change (the first title was Heavenly Malevolence, though it really doesn't make much sense) was basically hinting at the Slinx Insanity Virus and the creation of it.

As for the PMs...if I get a really, really good vibe from this after I finish the majority of the story, I MIGHT be posting it. I really wanted to wait until I finished it all, so while posting it up here I could be writing Concrete Dragonriders (which'll most likely change title-wise to something better), but having around twenty-five or so chapters should be good enough. So, it really depends on my mood.

Ryano Ra
26th December 2005, 6:15 PM
Chapter Progress:
*sighs* I'm still working on the eighteenth chapter, but it is coming along slowly, but nicely. Hopefully I can have it done in a day or two, then move along with the normal chapters (with average lengths) so I can zoom through them with elegance. In the meantime, I decided, hey, not why post another preview? I planned on posting two-three different previews, and hopefully, that'll be pretty acceptable.

This is an excerpt of the sixteenth chapter, Pathway to the Void. It is 6.2 pages long, though I am only posting the last part of the chapter for...many reasons. The first part is pretty noticeable and reveals too much, and I really love the second part of the chapter. ^^ Enjoy, comment, and detect anything that is wrong, including repitition of words. I find that I tend to use the word 'furiously' often from chapter to chapter. I like that word. >>


Chapter SixteenPathway to the Void (BEING REVISED)
Afternoon sunlight beamed down on the southern beaches of Tatanka, which stretched east and west for a couple of miles. The white, blinding sand was cooked by the heavy winds and created shifting, hallucinated mirages for the vulnerable ones. Across the division between the island and the large platform of darkness was an old, dusty walkway-bridge, built from the first grounds of the vicinity and connecting to the next section of Galabonia.

It was brown, clouded with the hardships of every battle and every war that took place in the past. Shattered, sparkling crystal glass glinted off of the old, cracked asphalt. Ash and soot collided, presented in a fine brunette haze that drifted upon the forbidden surface below.

The advanced boardwalk stretched forward for what seemed like an eternity, swallowed by the infinite blackness in the distance. A lone shadow wandered upon the path to the void, carrying an ill, sleeping warrior on her strong back. Soon, the shade bolted out of the cloud of dust, steadily sprinting forward with increasing acceleration.

The thin, wiry frame of the Dodrio was built for harsh conditions in any type of environmental changes, though she was growing weak and tired. It had been a few long, agonizing hours, transporting her trainer upon her backside. The flightless bird’s fan of pinkish-red feathers swayed to the right as a gentle rising zephyr rushed past.

Her considerably thin legs were sinewy, but naturally built for running through treacherous weather for hours and hours, possibly for an entire day or two. She was suited for great travels and voyages, though she worried of the warrior’s condition.

Dodrio was not sure whether he was simply dreaming of himself dancing in the serene meadows, or finding that he had jumped off of the biggest skyscraper of Galabonia. Either way, he needed to wake immediately, for she desired rest and a quick nap. She blasted through a thick cloud of soot, clapping and snapping as she sent the malignant miasma spinning and twirling furiously.

The triple-headed bird stabbed her triple sword beaks at a loose feather, momentarily discontinuing her relentless path across the walkway-bridge. Once polished, mirroring surfaces that reflected the passion of the sun, they were now shaded with the struggles of her current adventure.

Dodrio watched as the loosened fine hair fell towards the hazy ground, soon devoured by the torrid illusions. She picked up speed as thin shades of black and emerald tore through the boardwalk’s surrounding. She suddenly came to a complete halt, attracted by a faint odor. Dodrio wandered further to the right, walking up towards the dead carcass of an Aggron.

The bird-beast glowed with malicious glee as she studied the bloodstained mouth of the iron monster, the blood-bleached bones, and eyes sightlessly staring with inferiority. Its strong, muscular arms had been broken in several spots, presenting in a zigzagging trail that dug deep into its hide. Dodrio had been growing hungry. Although she had such a beautiful appearance in the skies, she was also a carrion-eater. And at that particular time, she was dangerously ravenous and vigilant, looking for her desired quarry or anything that was dead and drowned in blood, but as fresh and fluid as smooth water.

Slowly, she lowered her body and placed Zale neatly on her right side, just in case any deserted, lost wanderers of the road would try and attempt to capture him. She rose back up, towering down the gruesome, split hide of the dead Aggron cadaver and allowing her malevolent shadow to dance over it.

Hungrily, she dived into its exposed, sliced-open chest and ribcage, pecking at the wet, bloody chunks that hung loosely from its sizzling skin. Cooked by the heavenly heat of the sun and stewed and churned by the dusty drafts that passed, this was nothing but a perfect meal for the flightless bird. The triple heads swallowed tattered pieces of blood-soaked skin, slurping and cawing in unison while having round after round.

People striding across the wild scene would have immediately fled or vomited, due to the sickening images that the hungry Dodrio was presenting. Her blade-like beaks furiously drilled into the armored hide, flashing patches of its soaked bones.

Dodrio observed how the iron monster had suffered from a great deal of hemorrhage, stumbling onto the brown boardwalk and finally drowning into its fatality. Dodrio did not worry about her strength anymore, for she was gaining energy as she continued devouring more of the dead Aggron.

While her three head wildly buried themselves in the thick, burning blood and wet chunks of skin, the warrior laid out on the ground started to move. Reality was flowing back into his mind and he found himself awakening with a quick, thunderous SNAP, flashing his eyes wide open and facing the carcass.

He screamed, immediately bolting himself up and backing away from it before realizing that a triple-headed bird had been by his side. He looked around, wondering where exactly he was. Obviously, Zale had awoken from his horrible, wheeling nightmare that gave him shivers. Dodrio silently raised her middle head up, slipping a slippery piece of flesh into her mouth and energetically chewing on it.

She cawed with triumph, relieved that her trainer had finally rose up from unconsciousness. She returned to her blessed feast as he neared her, gently stroking her tail feathers and backside.

Seconds withered away, and soon, all that was left was a bloodstained hide and a satisfied carrion-eater. Dodrio stalked toward her trainer with glee powering each step, stomping upon the old asphalt.

“Trainer! You are awoke! Were you troubled in your nightmares? It seems as if a Persian slapped you with malicious shadows of Hell,” Dodrio politely asked.

Her six eyes drilled into Zale’s own, and he put a smile upon his face. He was glad to have such a caring Pok&#233;mon as his faithful, kind Dodrio. “Not exactly, but I’ll explain it to you on the way there. Right now, we must head to Hormasso City. We have a mission to complete.”

He hopped onto the bird-beast’s back, and with one crackle of foot against earth, she sprinted forward and disappeared into the heart of the dust. Behind her, a winged, steel bullet rocketed after them, flapping wings crazily with hot pursuit burning in his frame. The sun’s light reflected off of his steel body, mirroring the sky and the heavens. He shrieked, bulleting into the malevolent cloud.

Sike Saner
26th December 2005, 10:31 PM
She rose back up, towering down the gruesome, split hide of the dead Aggron cadaver and allowing her malevolent shadow to dance over it.

Ooh, nice. I like that choice of language there.


Hungrily, she dived into its exposed, sliced-open chest and ribcage, pecking at the wet, bloody chunks that hung loosely from its sizzling skin. Cooked by the heavenly heat of the sun and stewed and churned by the dusty drafts that passed, this was nothing but a perfect meal for the flightless bird. The triple heads swallowed tattered pieces of blood-soaked skin, slurping and cawing in unison while having round after round.

Ha ha, gross! ^^ You certainly do know how to paint a lovely picture. *laughs* Taking a nice, lovely creature like a Dodrio...and then making her do that...That's terrific. Oh, but I would not want to be Zale there. Imagine waking as he did to that sight. And that smell... o~o

Saffire Persian
26th December 2005, 11:32 PM
“Trainer! You are awoke! Were you troubled in your nightmares? It seems as if a Persian slapped you with malicious shadows of Hell,” Dodrio politely asked.

Yay for the Persian reference..XD.. I can just imagine that now. And the Dodrio is a perfectly likable character - although, do all the heads do the talking, and are they of one mind? Or separated, as Scrap's Mirth, Misery, and Malice were... o.o I'm rather curious.

Poor Zale.. You have to wonder how he got there under that horrid sun. You have no idea how glad I am to see dialogue though! I feast on dialogue.. ^^, though the description was as magnificent as it usually is, and happens to be very lovely to read...

Until the next preview! Or whatever else may come next.

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 12:12 AM
She rose back up, towering down the gruesome, split hide of the dead Aggron cadaver and allowing her malevolent shadow to dance over it.Ooh, nice. I like that choice of language there.
Hungrily, she dived into its exposed, sliced-open chest and ribcage, pecking at the wet, bloody chunks that hung loosely from its sizzling skin. Cooked by the heavenly heat of the sun and stewed and churned by the dusty drafts that passed, this was nothing but a perfect meal for the flightless bird. The triple heads swallowed tattered pieces of blood-soaked skin, slurping and cawing in unison while having round after round.Ha ha, gross! ^^ You certainly do know how to paint a lovely picture. *laughs* Taking a nice, lovely creature like a Dodrio...and then making her do that...That's terrific. Oh, but I would not want to be Zale there. Imagine waking as he did to that sight. And that smell... o~o^.^ *is stunned* What can I say, that was particularly one of the best description and scenes I've ever written. I'm doing another one in the eighteenth chapter with the Dodrio, eating and tearing through another steel-type Pokemon. If you read very carefully at the end of this new preview, then I think you have an idea of what the Pokemon might be this time. I also loved the second part you quoted, being as I never really wrote such a gross scene as that one. But trust me, I loved how I described it and everything.

I was thinking that even though Zale is a considerably good main character, his Pokemon should reflect many different personalities and roles. For example, his Gyarados is female, and strengthens her attacks and defenses by mainly focusing herself and training herself spiritually and mentally. If she's one with her mind, then her attacks reflect her power. His Delcatty eats strawberries and can be very frolicsome, which deeply reflects a cat's personality. Dodrio's the strongest and most courageous of his team, as well as being a carrion-eater. X3 And Arcanine is also a carrion-eater, so you'll be seeing a gruesome eating spree involving him AND Dodrio. ^^


“Trainer! You are awoke! Were you troubled in your nightmares? It seems as if a Persian slapped you with malicious shadows of Hell,” Dodrio politely asked.Yay for the Persian reference..XD.. I can just imagine that now. And the Dodrio is a perfectly likable character - although, do all the heads do the talking, and are they of one mind? Or separated, as Scrap's Mirth, Misery, and Malice were... o.o I'm rather curious.

Poor Zale.. You have to wonder how he got there under that horrid sun. You have no idea how glad I am to see dialogue though! I feast on dialogue.. ^^, though the description was as magnificent as it usually is, and happens to be very lovely to read...

Until the next preview! Or whatever else may come next.Yes, dialogue...I had to throw it in there somewhere! XD I think I may have overexaggerated about the dialogue - I just think that there isn't as much as I usually have in my other stories, being as many fantasy stories have considerable amount of dialogue for many reasons. But yeah, there's dialogue in there, though I'm not very good at it, but I'm hopefully learning. ^^ And yeah, I can visualize me getting slapped by malicious shadows of Hell by a Persian. Oh, what powerful claws! O.O

Unlike Scrap's Dodrio, which she named all three names, Dodrio is just called Dodrio, and rather than speaking upon three different minds, they think together. They have seperate minds, seperate feelings, and such, but they speak as one, think as one, and act as one. Though emotionally, that's something to think about. But yes, they speak together by combining their three different thoughts and forming them into general communication.

Thank you both, Sike and Saffire, for reviewing the second preview. ^^

Shadowcat
27th December 2005, 1:45 AM
Nice Description, Lovely Writing and all...


The triple-headed bird stabbed her triple sword beaks at a loose feather, momentarily discontinuing her relentless path across the walkway-bridge. Once polished, mirroring surfaces that reflected the passion of the sun, they were now shaded with the struggles of her current adventure.


Shouldn't it be three-headed bird instead of triple-headed bird?

Anyways, SS, I'm still calling you SS. And kudos for making the location a beach. I love beaches...


While her three head wildly buried themselves in the thick, burning blood and wet chunks of skin, the warrior laid out on the ground started to move. Reality was flowing back into his mind and he found himself awakening with a quick, thunderous SNAP, flashing his eyes wide open and facing the carcass.

It's three heads m'dear.

Anyways, lovely as usual. (I'm still only reviewing a few fics, I've been blood lazy) Now, lemme try to give a better review next time. I'm loving this preview of the sixteenth chapter. I still am liking The Complex of Heavenly Owls (Was it called that?) Now, I'll be sure to read the whole fic when it's out. Now, I'm off to reviewing.

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 2:04 AM
Nice Description, Lovely Writing and all...

Shouldn't it be three-headed bird instead of triple-headed bird?

Anyways, SS, I'm still calling you SS. And kudos for making the location a beach. I love beaches...

It's three heads m'dear.

Anyways, lovely as usual. (I'm still only reviewing a few fics, I've been blood lazy) Now, lemme try to give a better review next time. I'm loving this preview of the sixteenth chapter. I still am liking The Complex of Heavenly Owls (Was it called that?) Now, I'll be sure to read the whole fic when it's out. Now, I'm off to reviewing.Awww...SS. ^^ It's like a double snake of some sort. XD *ahem*

MEOWNAGE. X3

Anyways, thanks for the wonderful review of the second preview, Sapphire. And thank you for catching the second mistake; my eye wasn't as good as I thought when I briefly proofread it rather than slowly and effectively. ;_; Well, as for the first one, it could be either or; I say triple-headed birds and three-headed bird, but triple-headed bird because the heads look alike and such and it sounds much cooler than three-headed bird. I also describe Dodrio as 'flightless bird', 'wingless bird', 'the bird-beast' and 'carrion-eater'. And later on, towards the end, she'll be known as the Wind Skipper. X0 *revealed too much*

+Chaos Blade+
27th December 2005, 2:08 AM
Replying to this thread from my new laptop computer! :3

Well, Serpent Syra, you've been putting that dictionary of a brain of yours to work, have you now? I mean, your choice of words is, as George Orwell will say it in 1984 [The crappy book that I have to read over break that's destroying my mind], doubleplusgood!

The characters are great -- but through this preview, I haven't gotten much personality out of either of them. As of yet. I surely hope I'll see one eventually.

Again, like all of your fics, superb. I just honestly hope you'll be able to post it up. All of it. It's essential and crucial that you do so. It'll give you that feeling of success.

Anyway, please place me on the Notification List, and I'll get to it, okay?

Good luck with Rhapsody, my fellow Fantasy-writer friend-thing. MEOWNAGE X3.

+Chaos Blade+

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 2:16 AM
Replying to this thread from my new laptop computer! :3

Well, Serpent Syra, you've been putting that dictionary of a brain of yours to work, have you now? I mean, your choice of words is, as George Orwell will say it in 1984 [The crappy book that I have to read over break that's destroying my mind], doubleplusgood!

The characters are great -- but through this preview, I haven't gotten much personality out of either of them. As of yet. I surely hope I'll see one eventually.

Again, like all of your fics, superb. I just honestly hope you'll be able to post it up. All of it. It's essential and crucial that you do so. It'll give you that feeling of success.

Anyway, please place me on the Notification List, and I'll get to it, okay?

Good luck with Rhapsody, my fellow Fantasy-writer friend-thing. MEOWNAGE X3.

+Chaos Blade+I tell you, Chaos, that should be our signature word.

MEOWNAGE. :3

You really don't know how happy you made me at this particular moment. Actually, I've been using words that I feel comfortable with, toning down the high vocabulary and placing it to a rather considerable level. Though, some chapters will be having words that many people wouldn't think I know, so I might surprise a few. I know that Rhapsody should be completed and posted, for I am hungry of the great feeling to see when it'll be done. ^^ That's truly going to be such an accomplishment.

As to thee's request, thou shall be added upon the Fantasy Ship (PM Notifiation List). ^^ Again, thank you so much! *gibbers ancient tongue*

Magi of all
27th December 2005, 2:21 AM
*clap clap*
Very good. Description is top notch as usual. For some reason I can't quite visulize the beach as you describe it, but I never go to the beach, so thats probably why. Now I wonder what killed the Aggron. I MUST KNOW.

I really liked the Dodrio devouring the dead pokemon part. A scavenger feasting on the flesh of a dead pokemon seems real. It gives the pokemon a more tangeable feeel to it. You seem really good at that. YOu eliminate that childish magic feeeling that makes pokemon seem like fairy tales. I feel like I could see a dodrio stand in front of me right now.

Diologue was good. Liked the reference to the Persian. And dammit, now I want to know whats going on. Throw me a bone. (non aggron please)

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 2:29 AM
*clap clap*
Very good. Description is top notch as usual. For some reason I can't quite visulize the beach as you describe it, but I never go to the beach, so thats probably why. Now I wonder what killed the Aggron. I MUST KNOW.

I really liked the Dodrio devouring the dead pokemon part. A scavenger feasting on the flesh of a dead pokemon seems real. It gives the pokemon a more tangeable feeel to it. You seem really good at that. YOu eliminate that childish magic feeeling that makes pokemon seem like fairy tales. I feel like I could see a dodrio stand in front of me right now.

Diologue was good. Liked the reference to the Persian. And dammit, now I want to know whats going on. Throw me a bone. (non aggron please)*bows* Thank you for the CLAP CLAP and overall fantastic review, Magi. I am very glad you enjoyed the second preview. It makes me feel as though my writing is finally showing off the new abilities I have been working on during the past couple of months.

Yes, I definitely try to draw away from the aura of Pokemon and fairy tales, since when blended with imagination, they can have different personalities and do many different things. Dodrio is a carrion-eater, and she eats wet, blood-soaked flesh. That's something many smaller children wouldn't actually idiolize a Dodrio as, even if they idolize the three-headed bird at all. As for the dialogue, I did like the reference to the Persian, since I've an avid fan of the cat-like Pokemon. >>;; That's basically the only reason why I used Persian, since that's like the second-favorite Pokemon I love. Yeah, the first part explains what happens to Zale, but you'll have to wait to find out. ^^

Quackerdrill
27th December 2005, 2:40 AM
Uh huh.

Um hm.

Yep.

Syra, a wise man once told me this: "One who wishes to see something must use his heart, not his eyes." I believe that this is important to know, for more reasons than one. Sure, description is a glorious tool to really expand the look of a peice of writing and to expand its sense of setting... but there is more to description, reallly good description, than just showing surroundings.

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest; I didn't post in the thread about description, so that was just hanging around waiting to be put down... XD But anyways, this was slightly enjoyable, with the imagery and interesting character you appear to reveal, yet it was lacking an intangible something. Reading the explanation of the fields and whatnot I couldn't help but wander off wondering how this description referenced the theme, how it told more about the characters, how it added to the feel of the poetry of the fic... but I was left with a (quite elegantly written) reveal of the place all these things reside... and nothing more. Maybe that substance was buried in there somewhere and I just missed it in the shuffle... who knows, but I don't believe that the body of that text reallly had a heart.

"One who wishes to see something must use his heart, not his eyes." I think it sums it up.

P.S. No harm done, though... was I too harsh? *curls up in fear of great fic giant Serpent Syra* I do hope I don't send off any bad vibes. XD

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 3:07 AM
Uh huh.

Um hm.

Yep.

Syra, a wise man once told me this: "One who wishes to see something must use his heart, not his eyes." I believe that this is important to know, for more reasons than one. Sure, description is a glorious tool to really expand the look of a peice of writing and to expand its sense of setting... but there is more to description, reallly good description, than just showing surroundings.

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest; I didn't post in the thread about description, so that was just hanging around waiting to be put down... XD But anyways, this was slightly enjoyable, with the imagery and interesting character you appear to reveal, yet it was lacking an intangible something. Reading the explanation of the fields and whatnot I couldn't help but wander off wondering how this description referenced the theme, how it told more about the characters, how it added to the feel of the poetry of the fic... but I was left with a (quite elegantly written) reveal of the place all these things reside... and nothing more. Maybe that substance was buried in there somewhere and I just missed it in the shuffle... who knows, but I don't believe that the body of that text reallly had a heart.

"One who wishes to see something must use his heart, not his eyes." I think it sums it up.

P.S. No harm done, though... was I too harsh? *curls up in fear of great fic giant Serpent Syra* I do hope I don't send off any bad vibes. XD;_;

MEOWNAGE-NIGE :C

...o.o *slaps himself with Farfetch'd-shaped hammer* Thank you SO MUCH Quackerdrill, I really appreciate that wonderful piece of advice you gave me! However, I think that really, you are jumping to conclusions a bit too soon. ^^;; Trust me, description is ONE of many key things in this fanfiction; my mind is more focused on the plot rather than the entire story itself, the description, the characters, and such.

The only reason you might be feeling that way is because of the two parts of the previews I decided the post; I chose these because I wanted people to reflect upon my new description and such, since I am really trying to basically strengthen my details, my dialogue, my plot and characters, settings, and so on and so forth. The surroundings, however, will be much described, for one must get a visualized picture of a completely new place, yes? This is a nice region that must be detailed with as much as I can possibly tell, though I will only reveal so much, since other chaptered stories in the future will take place here. Galabonia's a magical place, and I must have people recognize that. Otherwise, there's plenty of dialogue, plot hints, horror elements, and action scenes.

But believe me, Quackerdrill, I loved writing that scene. That REALLY came from my heart, whether you recognized it or not, because it was something I enjoyed writing. There are many scenes where I don't like writing them, some in which I do, and those were two of them. Perhaps they don't have much heart as the other ones, but they are the most enjoyable and detailed and the ones I wrote with TRUE passion. It had a heart, because it came from my heart. I think you might have missed it in the shuffle, but trust me, those are the scenes where I use my heart and passion.

The first two chapters, and perhaps the fifteenth and sixteenth, will possibly be the only chapters that are blossoming with description, because I'm describing features of the city, other than the details itself. How people live, the schools, the businesses, and so on and so forth. So, I really hope you'll grab that intangible feeling when you read the entire first chapter, though I'm pretty sure it'll spark in the fifth chapter or so. The first chapters are always lame and boring. ;_; Thanks again, Quackerdrill!

Quackerdrill
27th December 2005, 3:23 AM
Oh, I understand. I'm sorry I was jumping to conclusions a tad bit... I know what you mean. I did not intend to say that the writing wasn't coming from your heart, not at all. I know that an author always writes with a window looking in on their own experiences and emotions, and that you wouldn't write something that you truly didn't feel. What I meant was that particular passage was a tad bit too much on the description side... not that it wasn't beautifully written. I was just making sure of things, making sure that things weren't forgotten... and I fully back this project now that you have explained that everything is going to come in place. ^_^ I apologize if I came off sounding like I actually knew what I was talking about. xP

But fifth chapter? GAH! Just kidding. I will most definitely check this out when released. Best wishes!

EDIT: Oof, I meant the... *thinks* first passage. Bleh, I'm always sooo vague. The second had a better balance.

Ryano Ra
27th December 2005, 3:28 AM
Oh, I understand. I'm sorry I was jumping to conclusions a tad bit... I know what you mean. I did not intend to say that the writing wasn't coming from your heart, not at all. I know that an author always writes with a window looking in on their own experiences and emotions, and that you wouldn't write something that you truly didn't feel. What I meant was that particular passage was a tad bit too much on the description side... not that it wasn't beautifully written. I was just making sure of things, making sure that things weren't forgotten... and I fully back this project now that you have explained that everything is going to come in place. ^_^ I apologize if I came off sounding like I actually knew what I was talking about. xP

But fifth chapter? GAH! Just kidding. I will most definitely check this out when released. Best wishes!Oh no, which passage? Both, or one? Again, I will stress that because of the new region and such, some chapters will be filled with most description than others. The action and plot-hints and adventures will have considerable amounts, but will be focusing more on the action and such. ^^ Trust me, compared to my past writing, I think that I've actually toned down some of the description, though it was balanced with dialogue and action. Those two parts seemed too much description because that was the main focus, unfortunately. But it was necessary, if that can be understood correctly. ^^;;

Yes, description will be crazily low in one of the chapters, because I was so wrapped up in the action. >>; But yes, that was only a part of the sixteenth chapter, basically the ending. The first part is more of a plot-thing, and I definitely couldn't post that as a preview. Nevertheless, I'm very glad you understand and that you will be reading this fanfiction. It means SO MUCH TO ME! MEOWNAGE! ^^

EDIT: The first passage...yep, I knew it. The first two chapters will be the exact same way, and possibly the third one, which isn't good, but was kinda necessary. ;_;

Angelstorm
29th December 2005, 3:43 AM
Afternoon sunlight beamed down on the southern beaches of Tatanka, which stretched east and west for a couple of miles. The white, blinding sand was cooked by the heavy winds and created shifting, hallucinated mirages for the vulnerable ones. Across the division between the island and the large platform of darkness was an old, dusty walkway-bridge, built from the first grounds of the vicinity and connecting to the next section of Galabonia.

It was brown, clouded with the hardships of every battle and every war that took place in the past. Shattered, sparkling crystal glass glinted off of the old, cracked asphalt. Ash and soot collided, presented in a fine brunette haze that drifted upon the forbidden surface below.

The advanced boardwalk stretched forward for what seemed like an eternity, swallowed by the infinite blackness in the distance. A lone shadow wandered upon the path to the void, carrying an ill, sleeping warrior on her strong back. Soon, the shade bolted out of the cloud of dust, steadily sprinting forward with increasing acceleration.


I seriously need a Theasaurus to find even one word to describe such amazing things. The sunbaked sands creating hallucinating images is amazing, though you made the scenery seem more like a desert. But I can't complain too much because shorelines are like a desert, except with very large salty water.
Since I couldn't seem to distinguish if there was any water, that led my thoughts astray to the Aggron. I wondered if it as possible to drown in sand, but the beach mentioning in the beggining of this second part kept me picturing the beach and the ocean.
The bridges' description is amazing, but I can't picture the entire thing, though it being swallowed into the dark horizon helped to clear a few things. But I keep wondering if it's a plank bridge or a concrete bridge or something, that's why I can't picture it. ^^'


The thin, wiry frame of the Dodrio was built for harsh conditions in any type of environmental changes, though she was growing weak and tired. It had been a few long, agonizing hours, transporting her trainer upon her backside. The flightless bird’s fan of pinkish-red feathers swayed to the right as a gentle rising zephyr rushed past.

Her considerably thin legs were sinewy, but naturally built for running through treacherous weather for hours and hours, possibly for an entire day or two. She was suited for great travels and voyages, though she worried of the warrior’s condition.

I love the description of Dodrio, and its great that you had her exhausted even though she was used to such conditions. Carrying someone is definetaly something anyone wouldn't want to do for as long as Dodrio is. Is the zephyr a wave? If it is then you cleared my confusion about the water. It's good that she shows devotion to Zale in such a state too.


Dodrio was not sure whether he was simply dreaming of himself dancing in the serene meadows, or finding that he had jumped off of the biggest skyscraper of Galabonia. Either way, he needed to wake immediately, for she desired rest and a quick nap. She blasted through a thick cloud of soot, clapping and snapping as she sent the malignant miasma spinning and twirling furiously.

For some reason that first sentence sent me chuckling a bit, I can't help finding that thought of Dodrio's a bit funny I guess. Malignant miasma, that sounds amazing.


The triple-headed bird stabbed her triple sword beaks at a loose feather, momentarily discontinuing her relentless path across the walkway-bridge. Once polished, mirroring surfaces that reflected the passion of the sun, they were now shaded with the struggles of her current adventure.

Dodrio watched as the loosened fine hair fell towards the hazy ground, soon devoured by the torrid illusions. She picked up speed as thin shades of black and emerald tore through the boardwalk’s surrounding. She suddenly came to a complete halt, attracted by a faint odor. Dodrio wandered further to the right, walking up towards the dead carcass of an Aggron.

Good you didn't make her run all of the time, it's good that you also make her think of her needs. Must be really windy for the feather to dissapear that fast.
Boardwalk? Eh... I think I might need a bit of clearing up there, I thought she was on the beach or on the bridge.
-
Ooops, I think i'm just going to make a post filled with quotes from this entire half chapter. I don't want to bore anyone or something so i'll put one or two more really quickly, but I can't help myself.
-

The bird-beast glowed with malicious glee as she studied the bloodstained mouth of the iron monster, the blood-bleached bones, and eyes sightlessly staring with inferiority. Its strong, muscular arms had been broken in several spots, presenting in a zigzagging trail that dug deep into its hide. Dodrio had been growing hungry. Although she had such a beautiful appearance in the skies, she was also a carrion-eater. And at that particular time, she was dangerously ravenous and vigilant, looking for her desired quarry or anything that was dead and drowned in blood, but as fresh and fluid as smooth water.

Slowly, she lowered her body and placed Zale neatly on her right side, just in case any deserted, lost wanderers of the road would try and attempt to capture him. She rose back up, towering down the gruesome, split hide of the dead Aggron cadaver and allowing her malevolent shadow to dance over it.

Hungrily, she dived into its exposed, sliced-open chest and ribcage, pecking at the wet, bloody chunks that hung loosely from its sizzling skin. Cooked by the heavenly heat of the sun and stewed and churned by the dusty drafts that passed, this was nothing but a perfect meal for the flightless bird. The triple heads swallowed tattered pieces of blood-soaked skin, slurping and cawing in unison while having round after round.

People striding across the wild scene would have immediately fled or vomited, due to the sickening images that the hungry Dodrio was presenting. Her blade-like beaks furiously drilled into the armored hide, flashing patches of its soaked bones.

Dodrio observed how the iron monster had suffered from a great deal of hemorrhage, stumbling onto the brown boardwalk and finally drowning into its fatality. Dodrio did not worry about her strength anymore, for she was gaining energy as she continued devouring more of the dead Aggron.

Well THAT made a pretty picture! I can't blame any people for puking if they actually saw this, but I can't blame you if the bird likes things well-done! Cawing in united symphony while devouring the Aggron must be pretty difficult when their beaks are full. She must look really nice with her beaks painted red. XD I can't help but laughing a bit.
-
Well I would probably point out the entire chapter from here on, but I think my post is long enough! One more thing though...
-


Seconds withered away, and soon, all that was left was a bloodstained hide and a satisfied carrion-eater. Dodrio stalked toward her trainer with glee powering each step, stomping upon the old asphalt.

“Trainer! You are awoke! Were you troubled in your nightmares? It seems as if a Persian slapped you with malicious shadows of Hell,” Dodrio politely asked.

I think you mean you are 'awake' or 'you awoke' there. As Sapphire Persian said the Persian reference was and is amazing! (Though I can't imagine her asking that politely!)
But you keep getting me confused with the terrain, now you're saying asphalt... I keep thinking they were on sand when she found the carcass because it had to be washed ashore onto the sand for her to eat it if it was drowned. I think dodrio would be really thirsty after eating something that came out of a perhaps salty sea.
-
Another amazing chapter that adds more questions from before! I'm still amazed as ever, and I can't wait to see the entire thing with my own eyes! Tis' a good preview that keeps us asking for more now, but take your time creating the final chapters.

Do your best and have fun writing Syra! ^^

(You don't have to put me on the Notification list unless you aren't too busy.)

Ryano Ra
29th December 2005, 4:56 AM
I seriously need a Theasaurus to find even one word to describe such amazing things. The sunbaked sands creating hallucinating images is amazing, though you made the scenery seem more like a desert. But I can't complain too much because shorelines are like a desert, except with very large salty water.
Since I couldn't seem to distinguish if there was any water, that led my thoughts astray to the Aggron. I wondered if it as possible to drown in sand, but the beach mentioning in the beggining of this second part kept me picturing the beach and the ocean.
The bridges' description is amazing, but I can't picture the entire thing, though it being swallowed into the dark horizon helped to clear a few things. But I keep wondering if it's a plank bridge or a concrete bridge or something, that's why I can't picture it. ^^'



I love the description of Dodrio, and its great that you had her exhausted even though she was used to such conditions. Carrying someone is definetaly something anyone wouldn't want to do for as long as Dodrio is. Is the zephyr a wave? If it is then you cleared my confusion about the water. It's good that she shows devotion to Zale in such a state too.



For some reason that first sentence sent me chuckling a bit, I can't help finding that thought of Dodrio's a bit funny I guess. Malignant miasma, that sounds amazing.



Good you didn't make her run all of the time, it's good that you also make her think of her needs. Must be really windy for the feather to dissapear that fast.
Boardwalk? Eh... I think I might need a bit of clearing up there, I thought she was on the beach or on the bridge.
-
Ooops, I think i'm just going to make a post filled with quotes from this entire half chapter. I don't want to bore anyone or something so i'll put one or two more really quickly, but I can't help myself.
-


Well THAT made a pretty picture! I can't blame any people for puking if they actually saw this, but I can't blame you if the bird likes things well-done! Cawing in united symphony while devouring the Aggron must be pretty difficult when their beaks are full. She must look really nice with her beaks painted red. XD I can't help but laughing a bit.
-
Well I would probably point out the entire chapter from here on, but I think my post is long enough! One more thing though...
-



I think you mean you are 'awake' or 'you awoke' there. As Sapphire Persian said the Persian reference was and is amazing! (Though I can't imagine her asking that politely!)
But you keep getting me confused with the terrain, now you're saying asphalt... I keep thinking they were on sand when she found the carcass because it had to be washed ashore onto the sand for her to eat it if it was drowned. I think dodrio would be really thirsty after eating something that came out of a perhaps salty sea.
-
Another amazing chapter that adds more questions from before! I'm still amazed as ever, and I can't wait to see the entire thing with my own eyes! Tis' a good preview that keeps us asking for more now, but take your time creating the final chapters.

Do your best and have fun writing Syra! ^^

(You don't have to put me on the Notification list unless you aren't too busy.)That review was simply amazing, Angelstorm. It made me so, so happy. ;_; THANK YOU, I really appreciate you taking your time, breaking the chapters into different quotes, and commenting on each particular section.

Now to clear things up...

The southern beaches of Tatanka indicates that it is a beach, though I tried not to make it seem like a desert. More like a very hot shoreline. The walkway-bridge is dug deep within the beach (the end of one part) and spreads across the ocean to the other side. Think of it as an ACTUAL bridge over water, just making it RIGHT above the water instead closer to the sky-kind of thing. ^^ Dodrio walked from the ocean upon the walkway-bridge, which is dusty, and she finds the dead Aggron carcass upon the boardwalk. The walkway-bridge has cracked asphalt on it as its surface, like bridges. The zephyr refers to a light draft, or gentle wind. So yes, there is water.

^^ I hope I cleared things up, and if I didn't, I'll keep trying until I do! X3 No, I wouldn't be too busy to add you to the PM Notification List, it is just a matter of if you'd like to be added or not. I make half of my updates at random, not even once mentioning them, so that's why I developed it. ^^

FloatingFlames
29th December 2005, 9:22 PM
Well, I don't have much time right now, so I can't post a review yet, but I'll get around. Anyways, the changes you've made are very reasonable, (especially the title change, I mean, Sky? What a bland title. I think I'll call my next fic "Ocean" and see how many reviews I get =P. Although, people will come flocking to your stories no matter if the title was two letters long or ten words long... Oh snap, too much time spent in the parentheses, evacuation! *dives out*), especially the change you're about to make. If the plot is that expansive (which I accept whole-heartedly; long fics are more than welcome, especially if it's done with quality - Oh no, more parentheses!), then by all means, split it up. Oh snap, I've ruined your announcment, haven't I?

Anyways, from what I've read, this story is more than intriguing. Expect a review edited into this post later, because I have to leave. Peace! *anticipates Ry's news*

Ryano Ra
29th December 2005, 10:24 PM
Well, I don't have much time right now, so I can't post a review yet, but I'll get around. Anyways, the changes you've made are very reasonable, (especially the title change, I mean, Sky? What a bland title. I think I'll call my next fic "Ocean" and see how many reviews I get =P. Although, people will come flocking to your stories no matter if the title was two letters long or ten words long... Oh snap, too much time spent in the parentheses, evacuation! *dives out*), especially the change you're about to make. If the plot is that expansive (which I accept whole-heartedly; long fics are more than welcome, especially if it's done with quality - Oh no, more parentheses!), then by all means, split it up. Oh snap, I've ruined your announcment, haven't I?

Anyways, from what I've read, this story is more than intriguing. Expect a review edited into this post later, because I have to leave. Peace! *anticipates Ry's news*Yes, Flames, you did. --; But no matter, for you basically summed it up! ^^ I'll be looking forward to the review of the second preview, and would you like to be added to the PM Notification List? Please let me know of your answer as soon as possible.

Now, onto the goodness...ANNOUNCEMENT
Serpent Syra has a BIG, BIGGA-BIG announcement. It's like, MEOWNAGE x 1,000,000 big. ^^ It's the MEGANAGE! :>

*ahem*

After seriously comtemplating this ever since I complete the eighth or nineth announcement, and thoroughly analyzing the story's plot and such, I've decided to make this into a trilogy. Yeah, I said it! TRILOGY! The plot is too big and exciting to just end in a mere thirty-two chapters, plus, I feel as though there need to be changes in the twenty chapters that I have (including the Prologue, making that twenty-one installments total). I need to change Zale's team, add a bit more dialogue, and so on and so forth. Also, I wanted to focus more on Galabonia in a trilogy, making an explosive debut for the region that I'll be using the writing years to come.

The Galabonian Trilogy will hopefully be of great success. The three parts will be Rhapsody, Rainfall, and Redemption. ^^ The first part, Rhapsody, will be twenty-five chapters, for the first part had been created to introduce the characters, his strengths and weaknesses, as well as the Alpha Assassin Omyte, the infected legendaries, the deranged Pokemon, and the Slinx Insanity Virus. The second part, Rainfall, deals more about his training as well as more magical myths and intense legendary battles, and I'm talking about the destructive of 1 of 6 sections of Galabonia, due to a Lugia vs. Rayquaza battle. 8D Also, there will be tons of fantasy elements in the three, as well as tweaking the Prologue to fit my new approach, but this shouldn't take too long.

The third part, Redemption, will be having lots of Pokemon battles, fighters vs. fighters, and will be wrapping up the plot with the explosive encounter between Zale and the Mage of the Omytes. ^^ The good part is that I'm on Chapter Twenty-One, so only four more chapters and 1/3 of the trilogy will be completed! But first, I need to revise some of the older chapters, especially which Zale's new team, since he's not some ordinary warrior anymore...you'll find out if you pay close attention to his new team and the events that happened in the first place. At the end of the twenty-first chapter, it'll be revealed as to what his future holds for him as a Havigma Commander. So, yes, I'll be updating the first and second preview with the new Pokemon, though I wouldn't say that you should be saying goodbye to his Arcanine, Delcatty, and Dodrio. They'll be in the story, but they aren't his anymore. They are wild, deranged, and infected with the Slinx Virus.

And he will encounter them.

So please, I ask that you guys stay patient and don't be too bothered with the Pokemon I have decided to choose for him. They might seen uber-strong, but all Pokemon have weaknesses, inside and OUTSIDE of battle. You'll be seeing that in the second and third part of the story. So, that is the MEGANAGE announcement! Discuss, ask questions, and stay tuned for the revamped first preview.

Magi of all
30th December 2005, 3:40 AM
To quote Slick from when he first entered the Pimp store. "I think I just creamed my pants" (sinfest.net go back a few pages and you'll get the joke.)

This is the second best thing that has happened literature wise to me in the past 6 days(#1 My own copy of Wizards First Rule GLEEE).

But anyway, This feels like a good move on your part. Mainly because we get the fic sooner. I do have on question though. Are you going to end you fic like Jordan ends a book(lots of lose plots) or how Goodkind does it (main event mostly resolved). Just wondering.

And now, for some reason, I have no idea how to end this post (which explains why I don't write fiction.) So I end with say That I look foward to reading your work

Magi of all

(EDIT: We get no Dodrio? WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(

Ryano Ra
30th December 2005, 3:53 AM
To quote Slick from when he first entered the Pimp store. "I think I just creamed my pants" (sinfest.net go back a few pages and you'll get the joke.)

This is the second best thing that has happened literature wise to me in the past 6 days(#1 My own copy of Wizards First Rule GLEEE).

But anyway, This feels like a good move on your part. Mainly because we get the fic sooner. I do have on question though. Are you going to end you fic like Jordan ends a book(lots of lose plots) or how Goodkind does it (main event mostly resolved). Just wondering.

And now, for some reason, I have no idea how to end this post (which explains why I don't write fiction.) So I end with say That I look foward to reading your work

Magi of all

(EDIT: We get no Dodrio? WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(Oh trust me, Dodrio is going to be in it. She's just not Zale's Pokemon anymore. She belongs to another character that I plan to introduce early within the second part of the story. Glad to hear that you are encouraging this, Magi, I really appreciate it. I plan to end it with everything wrapped up, including as to who/what made the virus and why, and if Havigma and Hatill (Heaven and Hell) shall continue their war for an eternity or finally rest in peace.

Yes, you guys get the Fanfiction sooner. I was thinking about January 11th premiere, but I'm not sure. Maybe sooner.

Sike Saner
31st December 2005, 9:34 PM
more magical myths and intense legendary battles, and I'm talking about the destructive of 1 of 6 sections of Galabonia, due to a Lugia vs. Rayquaza battle.

O_O

GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE, NOW! *gigantic choir enters and makes with the "HALLELUJAH!"*

You know I look forward to that...oh, my God...*drools* Have this for even concieving of that! *offers cakes and cookies* *oh, and pie*

Ryano Ra
31st December 2005, 11:09 PM
O_O

GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE, NOW! *gigantic choir enters and makes with the "HALLELUJAH!"*

You know I look forward to that...oh, my God...*drools* Have this for even concieving of that! *offers cakes and cookies* *oh, and pie**_* *takes cakes, cookies, and pie, and runs around wildly*

Sugar in the tavvuurrrrrr!

XD

Glad to see that you are supporting this greatly, Sike. I still need to go and revise the older chapters with the team updates, since I seem to have used his entire team (at least one of the three) since Chapter Five. Once I do that small process, then I'll get moving to writing the twenty-first chapter, and possibly have the premiere in couple of weeks. ^^ But yes, Lugia and Rayquaza will be turning on each other, since in the first part (they are both infected with the virus) of the trilogy, they worked together during the day. Lugia caused havoc in the night, and Rayquaza usually watched over the darkened heavens. But, you'll see why they decide to turn.

The second and third part will be excruciating battles, and an appearance by Mewtwo and Mew will be at the end of the first part, since they are of only good, not the bad. In fact, in the trilogy, they'll be the only legendaries, in the end, that'll be good (or at least, the only ones mentioned that are good. Not every legendary will be present in my story, more like 1/3 of them). So, yes, I have many gigantic plans to this. Legendary battles are only the beginning. >3

Mimori Kiryu
5th January 2006, 12:47 AM
Wow...man, just wow. I can't put into words how much I'm looking forward to this now. Xialor = PWNAGE. I <3 Delcatty so much and I'm glad it's finally getting some lime light from one of the best writers EVAR. >O

I can't believe how amazing your description is!!! I swear, I wish I had half the talent that you do, Syra! I just love it how you make it seem as if you're really there, feeling the sorrow, pain, lust or love that a character seems to feel. I can visualy see EVERYTHING and it's so awesome. If only I could do that with VIRUS. Then we might be getting somewheres. ;D

I didn't really get to closely read the second preview but I do enjoy that you make the Dodrio original, where it communicates all at once. I think that's very awesome and different then most. Good job on the Persian reference as well x3

I also LOVE the trilogy idea. I've always wanted to read a trilogy that's deep and there, and I think I've found it! I thought from the first time I saw Sky in your signature that something good would come of your burst of imagination, and boy was I right.

Um....I would also like to be added to the PM list, if I may. I don't want to miss a second of the action here. I might even use this as a learning tool as well, seeing as I'll need all the help I can get with VIRUS. >O

...Can't wait, Syra! Good luck with your writings!!! X3

Ryano Ra
5th January 2006, 1:49 AM
Wow...man, just wow. I can't put into words how much I'm looking forward to this now. Xialor = PWNAGE. I <3 Delcatty so much and I'm glad it's finally getting some lime light from one of the best writers EVAR. >O

I can't believe how amazing your description is!!! I swear, I wish I had half the talent that you do, Syra! I just love it how you make it seem as if you're really there, feeling the sorrow, pain, lust or love that a character seems to feel. I can visualy see EVERYTHING and it's so awesome. If only I could do that with VIRUS. Then we might be getting somewheres. ;D

I didn't really get to closely read the second preview but I do enjoy that you make the Dodrio original, where it communicates all at once. I think that's very awesome and different then most. Good job on the Persian reference as well x3

I also LOVE the trilogy idea. I've always wanted to read a trilogy that's deep and there, and I think I've found it! I thought from the first time I saw Sky in your signature that something good would come of your burst of imagination, and boy was I right.

Um....I would also like to be added to the PM list, if I may. I don't want to miss a second of the action here. I might even use this as a learning tool as well, seeing as I'll need all the help I can get with VIRUS. >O

...Can't wait, Syra! Good luck with your writings!!! X3Awww...that was such a moving review. It stunned me. *_* Thank you ever-so-much, Mimori, I really appreciate the wonderful review coming from you. It means so much to me how much you enjoy my writing. ;_; You shall be added to the PM Notification List as soon as possible.

Yes, the Persian reference was nicely done, in my opinion, but to me, that's only because I used a feline-like Pokemon. >>; Dialogue is one of my weakest areas, but I really plan to do improve within this trilogy. That is one of my main goals, beside actually completing the entire trilogy. ^^ And trust me, I will definitely help as much as possible with your weak areas in Virus; I plan to help in any way possible. Thank you again!

Chapter Progress
Haven't really revised the rest of the already-completed chapters of Rhapsody, for schoolwork has been tearing my mind apart and throwing it like it never really mattered. ;_; Though, in great relief, the next set of chapters deal with Gyarados, so I don't need to change her. But, Chapter Sixteen and Seventeen will definitely slow me down, for they are sixteen pages each...x.x *mexoplodes* ^^ Please, beat me with an iron sword if I don't get most of the revision done this weekend. I plan on releasing this sometime next week or so, probably next weekend.

Mimori Kiryu
5th January 2006, 2:20 AM
Awww...that was such a moving review. It stunned me. *_* Thank you ever-so-much, Mimori, I really appreciate the wonderful review coming from you. It means so much to me how much you enjoy my writing. ;_; You shall be added to the PM Notification List as soon as possible.

Thanks! :3

I <3 your writing, Syra! You're just so good :D


Yes, the Persian reference was nicely done, in my opinion, but to me, that's only because I used a feline-like Pokemon. >>; Dialogue is one of my weakest areas, but I really plan to do improve within this trilogy. That is one of my main goals, beside actually completing the entire trilogy. ^^ And trust me, I will definitely help as much as possible with your weak areas in Virus; I plan to help in any way possible. Thank you again!

I love feline pokemon as well. Dialogue isn't that difficult for me, but I hope you can improve with it. It is kind of difficult to figure out exactly what you want a character to say. You might accidently put the wrong foot forward and I don't blame you for being careful or causious.

Thanks for your help again. ^^ I couldn't probably ask for a better helper on my story. ^_^


Chapter Progress
Haven't really revised the rest of the already-completed chapters of Rhapsody, for schoolwork has been tearing my mind apart and throwing it like it never really mattered. ;_; Though, in great relief, the next set of chapters deal with Gyarados, so I don't need to change her. But, Chapter Sixteen and Seventeen will definitely slow me down, for they are sixteen pages each...x.x *mexoplodes* ^^ Please, beat me with an iron sword if I don't get most of the revision done this weekend. I plan on releasing this sometime next week or so, probably next weekend.

School's horrid. XP It does the same to me. That's why the premiere of Virus was moved to May instead of March...but Syra, you really shouldn't worry about how or when your going to premiere it. Consentrate on yourself and how well you want it done. I'm sure it'll be great!! <3

Ryano Ra
5th January 2006, 4:37 AM
Thanks! :3

I <3 your writing, Syra! You're just so good :D

I love feline pokemon as well. Dialogue isn't that difficult for me, but I hope you can improve with it. It is kind of difficult to figure out exactly what you want a character to say. You might accidently put the wrong foot forward and I don't blame you for being careful or causious.

Thanks for your help again. ^^ I couldn't probably ask for a better helper on my story. ^_^

School's horrid. XP It does the same to me. That's why the premiere of Virus was moved to May instead of March...but Syra, you really shouldn't worry about how or when your going to premiere it. Consentrate on yourself and how well you want it done. I'm sure it'll be great!! <3Oh, early January was the original date, then I wanted to have a Spring release, but since I'm over half-way done, and I only have four more chapters to write before I finally finish the first part, it'll make its release sometime next week. I first want to finish revising the twenty chapters that I have (that need revising), though I am already gathering ideas for Rainfall and want to hurry up. I just need some motivation, and blades are the answer. 8D;;

The second part will be a blast to write. Lots of fantasy elements, including magic, spells, mages, wizards, Dragonriders, harpies, falcons, and humans with uncanny abilities. There will be three Pokemon clans after Zale all throughout this story, as well as some chapters solely directed upon the Beast Queen, while a few are about Mew and Mewtwo. I really can't wait to start writing all of the action. >3

Mimori Kiryu
5th January 2006, 8:55 PM
Oh, early January was the original date, then I wanted to have a Spring release, but since I'm over half-way done, and I only have four more chapters to write before I finally finish the first part, it'll make its release sometime next week. I first want to finish revising the twenty chapters that I have (that need revising), though I am already gathering ideas for Rainfall and want to hurry up. I just need some motivation, and blades are the answer. 8D;;

*hands you katanas* Have fun, my dear Syra. :D


The second part will be a blast to write. Lots of fantasy elements, including magic, spells, mages, wizards, Dragonriders, harpies, falcons, and humans with uncanny abilities. There will be three Pokemon clans after Zale all throughout this story, as well as some chapters solely directed upon the Beast Queen, while a few are about Mew and Mewtwo. I really can't wait to start writing all of the action. >3

X3 That sounds like so much fun to read. I <3 fantasy soooo much it's pathetic. Then again, I think all authors and authoresses enjoy fantasy in one way or another. I really like magic, spells, and wizards. *sounds like Harry Potter* >( Sorry, it does, but yours will be ten times better >) I know it too!!

Ryano Ra
7th January 2006, 5:37 PM
Chapter Progress
^^ Things have returned back to normal. Finally, I have finished revising the twenty chapters and I'm now moving onto the long battle in Chapter Twenty-one, one of the best battles throughout the entire trilogy. If all goes accordingly, most of the chapter should be wrapped up tonight to be completed tomorrow, so I can then move onto the twenty-second chapter, another exciting installment. As for a release date, I will say this: THE STORY CAN COME OUT AT ANY GIVEN TIME, BETWEEN NOW AND NEXT SUNDAY. For those on the PM Notification List, they will be notified. The problem is, you all should be wondering what day. It could be five minutes from now, five hours from now, or five days for now. So, be prepared.

I've also been working on ideas for the second part, Rampage, which'll definitely hold lots of fantasy and action, as well as more adventuring elements. So, let me stop rambling and get to work!

Saffire Persian
7th January 2006, 6:24 PM
o.o I very much look forward to it, and I'm quite happy about the release date, here. I'm surprised you got it done so fast, to complete an epic such as this would've taken me... a very long time.

Out of pure curiosity, what's the word count up to this point?

Ryano Ra
7th January 2006, 6:29 PM
o.o I very much look forward to it, and I'm quite happy about the release date, here. I'm surprised you got it done so fast, to complete an epic such as this would've taken me... a very long time.

Out of pure curiosity, what's the word count up to this point?I'm getting very, very tempted to release it today, though I am not entirely sure if I should or not...maybe I should. I have like twenty chapters already. ^^ Wouldn't hurt, now would it? *contemplates* I've almost completed the first part, which is excellent, because I can take a break from writing while updating and such, gathering ideas for the second part of the trilogy.

The word count is 70,877. The characters without spacing is 359,499. The characters with spacing/spaces is 430,400. This includes the Prologue, and the working on the twenty-first chapter. ^^ So, I'll update the word count once I finish the chapter, though that is the number as of now.