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Hip-Hop Master
14th November 2005, 10:40 PM
Revenge of the Clone





Prologue





Dr. Shadow stared at his latest, sleeping creation. His black bandana, with a red X printed on it, shined because of the dim light coming from the bulb from ceiling. His black leather coat, with a red shirt underneath bearing a silver dagger, looked darker than the almost pitch-black lab. And his red jeans, with the words blood on them, stood out. Also, to hide his true identity, his had black sunglasses which had flames at the sides. His pale skin, with a red scar under his left eye and black shoes made him look scarier.

Dr. Shadow was an evil scientist. His lab was big room filled with gadgets. The cloning machine was his oldest and best creation yet. It was a dusty old place, his lab. He never cleaned it because he was just too busy working on his evil schemes. Recently, his Shadow cloning machine, which cloned AND made the Pokemon Shadow, was invented. But, it ruined his life, Hawk Island and the Pokemon who lived there. The one thing he loved was cloning Pokemon but one of experiments ruined him, his life, the poor cloned Pokemon, and Hawk Island and its other, free Pokemon. He died in the destruction of Hawk Island but the monster still dwells, somewhere in the deep, dark caves of Hawk Island.

"It’s a beautiful day on Island. The sun is shining; the magnificent and stubborn Skarmory crow, the happy, playful Aipom chatter, and the cute baby Trapinch wait patiently for their Flygon mother. Everything is normal. Except one thing. Dr. Shadow’s evil creation is set loose wrecking everything in its path. "

"Suddenly, there was a huge roar. Everyone looks up at the monster. It was more than six feet tall and weighed more than four hundred pounds. Green skin, spikes running up its back and a blue stomach scared the wits out of the baby Pokemon. But its eyes scared the even the fierce Gyrados and Salamence. They were a mean blood red color instead of the normal, white eyes. Pokemon tried to flee the island but only some of the few lucky flying and water types escaped. The rest were swallowed up by the monstrosity’s Earthquake. After the disaster, beautiful Hawk Island turned into a lonely, lifeless plain where only the beast dwelt.”

No one dared to step upon Hawk Island after that. But three, stubborn trainers make the discovery of a lifetime. They will find out the TRUE secret of the monstrosity and its creator. Although accidentally, they shall be nationwide heroes, discoverers of the long, mysterious mystery of Hawk Island.

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^What will happen? If I get a positive [+] reaction, stay tuned to find out.





Should I post this or not. If i'm breaking a rule, plz forgive me as I'm new.

Hip-Hop Master
14th November 2005, 10:59 PM
Can u PLZ reply and tel me how it is?

DKzM0mA
15th November 2005, 12:24 AM
I would read this fic. This monster sounds like a red tyranitar to me, but that's just me. As long's dere no Mary-sues, Gary-stues blaah blah I'd defenitaly read it.

Also try not to dp. :)

Hip-Hop Master
15th November 2005, 9:52 PM
I would read this fic. This monster sounds like a red tyranitar to me, but that's just me. As long's dere no Mary-sues, Gary-stues blaah blah I'd defenitaly read it.

Also try not to dp. :)

Okya so I wasnt in my mind cuz Dped but WHAt exactly do u mean mary-sues and gary-stues?

DKzM0mA
15th November 2005, 11:42 PM
It means the trainer is like unbeatable, gets like all the legendasry pokemon and becomes king of the world. Stuff like that.

+Chaos Blade+
15th November 2005, 11:47 PM
Mary-Sue // Gary-Stu (n) ~ A character in a Fan Fiction that obtains extraordinary, out-of-nowhere, advancements in battling techniques, along with the obtaining of powerful Pokémon and having absolutely no personality.

+Chaos Blade+

Hip-Hop Master
16th November 2005, 10:13 PM
okay tnx

um, blade can u teell me if I should post teh fic?

RaZoR LeAf
16th November 2005, 10:42 PM
The first part about Dr Shadow sounds like you are describing him straight out of a catalogue. Not to mention that 'Dr Shadow' being an 'evil scientist' is just shipped out of Cliché Island. The bit about him dying is incredibly muddled, I had to re-read that five times before I understood what you were saying.

Needs work. Broken English abounds, not to mention clichés and poor descriptions. The whole 'evil scientist creates evil monster' has been done a million times.

And next time, don't post again 20 minutes after your first just because nobody has replied. You'll find your topics are closed faster, and then you wont get ANY replies.

sk0rp10n
16th November 2005, 10:45 PM
Erm, I think that perhaps if this topic were closed it would save you some embarassment. That was terrible. Why not have the character invent some machine like the one they use to fire tennis balls, and then attach homing devices onto a slew of master balls, and capture anything that moves. YAY!

Hip-Hop Master
17th November 2005, 10:18 PM
Erm, I think that perhaps if this topic were closed it would save you some embarassment. That was terrible. Why not have the character invent some machine like the one they use to fire tennis balls, and then attach homing devices onto a slew of master balls, and capture anything that moves. YAY!

[/sarcasm] Well that was a kewl idea! I'll make a fic about it roight away [sarcasm/]