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View Full Version : aflars adventure journey -(PG RATED)-



DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 1:09 AM
once pon time aflar was drunking camel milk in his sand hut, life in sadi arabeea was baad

"i want be poke master;201-d;" screamed Aflar at top of lungs

suddenly dik van dike came and said:::

"heryour start pokemon"

________________

"hey thanks dude, GO POKEMON!!!" say Aflar in his portuguese candian arabbbbbian acent

a ;250; came out

"what you want" say ho-oh

"i want 2 ride u & hav pokemon journey" questuoned aflac i mean aflar :D

"OK BUT I ACCEPT U AS TRAINER ONLY IF U BUY ME SOME LAFFEE TAFFY" SAID HOOh

"k" SAYS the aflar

;307; ;307; ;084; ;307; ;307;

aflar go to 7-11 in america and buy laf taf den he go back saudi arab

""i bring the laffy taf" aflar said

ok, now let us go to jemenai sity for our third badge: said ho-oh;

"alrite ish about to get funky in hurrrr" screamed aflar with his nine volt battery



"Err...do I just like hop on top of you now?" asked Aflar to Ho-Oh

"Yeah, go ahead Aflar."

Aflar struggled to get on top of the mighty Ho-Oh's back. By the time he was properly sitting, drops of sweat slided down his sunburned cheeks.

"Ok, hold on tight, we gonna blow this joint up." warned Ho-Oh

Ho-Oh's feet streched. Before he knew it Aflar was atleast five feet high. Ho-Oh then jumped majesticly and started flapping. The flapping sound was tremondous, it was probably the loudest thing Aflar ever heard in his whole life, but he did afterall live in a quiet town. After a few seconds Ho-Oh and Aflar were gliding across the desert gracefully as the sun shone intensly. Aflar couldn't believe how beautiful everything looked from the sky, this was most definatly a Kodak moment. Aflar looked behind him, he saw tiny little dots behind him, blue and grey in color. Aflar counted about 25 of them. The dots got bigger, and bigger, and bigger. Aflar then relized what they were.

TO BE CONTINUED

Psychic
18th November 2005, 1:20 AM
PLEASE for the love of all that is good read the rules and other Stickies.

Let's see...
You added in smilies when you weren't supposed to.
Terrible spelling and grammar. Lack of capitalization and punctuation.
No clue how to write the English language.
No plot at all, at least not one that makes sense.
NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
Oh, and it's totally illegible. I have no idea what the Hell you're trying to say. THAT'S how badly this was written.


Go learn how to write. Then read the rules. Type on Microsoft Word or a smilar program. And get a brain, please.

~Psychic
EDIT: Great, you edited it so it looks even worse. How delightful. Added smilies, enlarged text? Random underlining? And you got your colors tags all wrong. Right smart thing you are.

Dilasc
18th November 2005, 1:26 AM
Uh... Arabia is original... ah who am I kidding, Psychic is right. If I may add a bit more, I think this thing is quite damned racist. Seriously, racism is not cool at all.

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 1:29 AM
PLEASE for the love of all that is good read the rules and other Stickies.

Let's see...
You added in smilies when you weren't supposed to.
Terrible spelling and grammar. Lack of capitalization and punctuation.
No clue how to write the English language.
No plot at all, at least not one that makes sense.
NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
Oh, and it's totally illegible. I have no idea what the Hell you're trying to say. THAT'S how badly this was written.


Go learn how to write. Then read the rules. Type on Microsoft Word or a smilar program. And get a brain, please.

~Psychic
EDIT: Great, you edited it so it looks even worse. How delightful. Added smilies, enlarged text? Random underlining? And you got your colors tags all wrong. Right smart thing you are.


dude, don be jealous my story is betta than yo story and brings all teh bois to the yard

Psychic
18th November 2005, 1:31 AM
dude, don be jealous my story is betta than yo story and brings all teh bois to the yard
Haha, idiot. Don't try to pretend to be cool. You suck, and you know it, ''foo'', so shut your trap and listen to what people with BRAINS have to say.
Both the boys and girls must run away from you because of your idiotcy.

-_-


Uh... Arabia is original... ah who am I kidding, Psychic is right. If I may add a bit more, I think this thing is quite damned racist. Seriously, racism is not cool at all.
It wasn't supposed to make sense. The kid was just SPAMing. SPAM never makes sense, so you NEVER want to try to interrprut it. It's a language that can kill and render and intelligent reader blind.

Don't waster your breath, Dilasc. It's not worth it.

~Psychic

Yami Ryu
18th November 2005, 1:35 AM
Psychic you should have realised this by the name of the user. LOOK AT IT! IT DEFIES REASON and my eyes die bleeding screaming deaths and ;;

and to be blunt, kid you suck ***. you make others I've replied too look like kings, you blatantly break the rules and ignore anything given/said in the advice for aspiring authors and continue to make your stupidity level rise and any respect you might have gleamed from real writing fall.

Please stop now before you kill the last five braincells you have left.

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 1:37 AM
Haha, idiot. Don't try to pretend to be cool. You suck, and you know it, ''foo'', so shut your trap and listen to what people with BRAINS have to say.
Both the boys and girls must run away from you because of your idiotcy.

-_-


It wasn't supposed to make sense. The kid was just SPAMing. SPAM never makes sense, so you NEVER want to try to interrprut it. It's a language that can kill and render and intelligent reader blind.

Don't waster your breath, Dilasc. It's not worth it.

~Psychic

stop flaming me ;_;

i worked hard on that i posted it here to get some concstructive criticism, which i got, but u had to add fire to the recipe now im sad :):)

i hope you relize how much of a jerk you have been

Yami Ryu
18th November 2005, 1:39 AM
stop flaming me ;_;

i worked hard on that i posted it here to get some concstructive criticism, which i got, but u had to add fire to the recipe now im sad :):)

She is not flaming you. This is the cold hard truth, what she said and I said. You posted shite.

Now realise that, stop spamming and try to get better.


i hope you relize how much of a jerk you have been

I hope you realise how [Dexter Accent]stoopid[Dexter Accent] you've been.

Psychic
18th November 2005, 1:40 AM
Oh, you look SO very sad, you little dweeb.

And that was a BURN, not a flame. :D


'Working hard' must mean something like 'banged head against keyboard' in your language.


And you DO seem sad. You know how I could make you 'happy'? By prodding you with a hot medal rod. :)



i hope you relize how much of a jerk you have been
I hope you some day come to realize that you're an idiot. :D

~Psychic

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 1:42 AM
She is not flaming you. This is the cold hard truth, what she said and I said. You posted shite.

Now realise that, stop spamming and try to get better.



I hope you realise how [Dexter Accent]stoopid[Dexter Accent] you've been.

i dont think

Haha, idiot. Don't try to pretend to be cool. You suck, and you know it, ''foo'', so shut your trap and listen to what people with BRAINS have to say.
Both the boys and girls must run away from you because of your idiotcy.

is the truth, sychic doesnt now me in real life

DKzM0mA
18th November 2005, 1:44 AM
Oh lord...what's with all the stupid fics lately? This is sad. It isn't even english. You have just showed us that you're some high school dropout. Honestly, READ THE GOD DAMN FICS! Also get a life. Psychic said the entire truth but you try being gangster or something and insult him? I think this place should be closed.

Dilasc
18th November 2005, 1:46 AM
i dont think

We could tell.



is the truth, sychic doesnt now me in real life

Yea, whatever... wait what? I'm sorry, try typing that with commas and full words. How does someone 'now' you anyway?

Psychic
18th November 2005, 1:48 AM
is the truth, sychic doesnt now me in real life
FURTHER proving my point that you're an brainless idiot.

Oh, and if I DID know you in real life, I'd probably shoot myself.

Oh, and you might want to sleep with a knife under your pillow tonight, or just not sleep at all. See, I KILL idiots in their sleep. *licks lips insanely*

~Psychic
Oh, and I'm a girl, DKzM0mA.

DKzM0mA
18th November 2005, 1:49 AM
i dont think

Haha, idiot. Don't try to pretend to be cool. You suck, and you know it, ''foo'', so shut your trap and listen to what people with BRAINS have to say.
Both the boys and girls must run away from you because of your idiotcy.

is the truth, sychic doesnt now me in real life

Holy **** speak proper english. And stop insulting people who are ttrying to help you, even though it might be cruel or insulting. It's meant for you to relize that you truly suck ***.

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 1:51 AM
next little part:

"Err...do I just like hop on top of you now?" asked Aflar to Ho-Oh

"Yeah, go ahead Aflar."

Aflar struggled to get on top of the mighty Ho-Oh's back. By the time he was properly sitting, drops of sweat slided down his sunburned cheeks.

"Ok, hold on tight, we gonna blow this joint up." warned Ho-Oh

Ho-Oh's feet streched. Before he knew it Aflar was atleast five feet high. Ho-Oh then jumped majesticly and started flapping. The flapping sound was tremondous, it was probably the loudest thing Aflar ever heard in his whole life, but he did afterall live in a quiet town. After a few seconds Ho-Oh and Aflar were gliding across the desert gracefully as the sun shone intensly. Aflar couldn't believe how beautiful everything looked from the sky, this was most definatly a Kodak moment. Aflar looked behind him, he saw tiny little dots behind him, blue and grey in color. Aflar counted about 25 of them. The dots got bigger, and bigger, and bigger. Aflar then relized what they were.

Dilasc
18th November 2005, 1:53 AM
I'm throwing in the towel on this one. It's all yours, guys. Make mincement outta dementene arse here, and use that as his name instead.

Psychic
18th November 2005, 1:56 AM
Another rule has been broken. All chapters must be at LEAST a page long on Microsoft Word, but you don't even use that.
Oh, wait, why am I talking about chapters? That wasn't a chapter. That was five paragraphs that would span about ten seconds in real life. -_-

If you're not finished writing a 'chapter', don't post it. Post ONLY what you finish.


At least you're spelling was better, and you used proper capitalization. And *gasp8 NO SMILIES! :rolleyes:

~Psychic

Yami Ryu
18th November 2005, 1:56 AM
i dont think
Aint that the god given truth. You don't think. You don't posses the ability to think.


Haha, idiot. Don't try to pretend to be cool. You suck, and you know it, ''foo'', so shut your trap and listen to what people with BRAINS have to say.
Both the boys and girls must run away from you because of your idiotcy.
I think you confused myself for you. Because I know how to follow the rules. I know how to read. I know how to think and speak and type and use her mind.

Where as You do not.


is the truth, sychic doesnt now me in real life
Niether Psychic, or I, fall into what you said. And I wouldn't blame Psychic for not wanting to know you irl if she ever had the chance. Because nothing deserves to be forced to be in your presense for a second, let alone time enough to know you.

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free
18th November 2005, 2:02 AM
Another rule has been broken. All chapters must be at LEAST a page long on Microsoft Word, but you don't even use that.


It's a page long with size 99 text, uh duhhh


Aint that the god given truth. You don't think. You don't posses the ability to think.


I think you confused myself for you. Because I know how to follow the rules. I know how to read. I know how to think and speak and type and use her mind.

Where as You do not.


Niether Psychic, or I, fall into what you said. And I wouldn't blame Psychic for not wanting to know you irl if she ever had the chance. Because nothing deserves to be forced to be in your presense for a second, let alone time enough to know you.

Oh sure, just because I'm Mexican means I don't think. You racist freak.

IceKing
18th November 2005, 2:03 AM
Why are you guys bothering with this stupid moron? Its obvious hes not going to improve and trying to give him crit is like trying to put out a fire with salt. Kid, this is NOT fanfiction. What you wrote belongs in a toilet, not a writing forum. Oh and they don't think your stupid because of your hispanic heritage, its beacuse your a stupid moron. White, black, brown, yellow, green, rainbow, morons come in all colors of the rainbow :)

Yami Ryu
18th November 2005, 2:05 AM
Oh sure, just because I'm Mexican means I don't think. You racist freak.

Okay, you listen here you ****ing little ficktard. You claim I'm racist and I don't even know your race. FOR FOCKS SAKE I COULD BE MEXICAN YOU LITTLE ARSEHOLE. I don't take kindly to being called racists by little ignorant ****s like you.

Now have a nice day as I go try to find an Super Mod to flame your retarded flaming ***.

DKzM0mA
18th November 2005, 2:08 AM
It's a page long with size 99 text, uh duhhh



Oh sure, just because I'm Mexican means I don't think. You racist freak.

ARE YOU ****ING STUPID. DON'T ANSWER THAT. YOU'VE ALREADY PROVEN THAT. WHY THE **** WOULD YOU USE 99 TEXT? IS 99 YOUR IQ? NAW TOO HIGH. HOW WE BEING RACIST? YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING AFGHANS LOOK DUMB IN YOU FIC. YOU'RE THE RACIST FREAK IDIOT.

Kaiserin
18th November 2005, 2:10 AM
Well, I'm a smod, but I'm not going to flame like the rest of you losers. :S

DeNtEnE !cE: sugar free - No one called you anything based on your race. You're just looking for an excuse to come back at certain people. *cough*

Sigh. Before this descends any more into the depths of hell, I'm closing it. :O