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~*Ratiosu*~
19th November 2005, 6:56 PM
Stupid name...but anyway, I'm going to be starting a Pokemon fic. Yay! I always delete my other ones. But this one, hopefully, shouldn't be dead or deleted...whatever...

Prehistory
Chapter One-Anorith is the Best Policy!

A young female arose from a large green meadow. She had long black hair, and it hung to her waist. She usually kept a barette in it, but today she was letting it down. She had a blue jeans jacket and light blue jeans, as well as light blue sneakers and blue eyes. She was playing with a small brown rock, which had an imprint of a claw on it. The sky was light blue, as it usually is when one first wakes up. There were several large trees in the distance, as the place where she lived was out on the prairie. Her house was a large mansion, and it was the kind of place you would want to live.

Zela hugged the fossil she was playing with and then got up, running to one of the trees and climbing up it. A ray from the sun touched the fossil, and it seemed to sparkle a little before returning to normal. Zela didn't notice this, and ran to the mansion she called home, opening the squeaky door (her mother always said she would fix it). Inside was similar to the Titanic's main room, with large stairs that went up and then branched to each direction. The stairs were light blue, and the floor, which was tiled and led to left and right halls, one where her kitchen was and one where the washing room was. There was a pool in the door right next to the stairs, and Zela rushed to it, but not before getting stopped by her mother.

Zela turned around to face her, and was stunned. Her mother had not been her favorite person at all, and being rich had made her love for children disappear, making her as hard as nails. She would often punish Zela for no reason whatsoever, grounding her and slapping her. Zela couldn't do anything, as their phones didn't reach to the police and she was too scared her mother would punish her again if she told her.

Her mother had short brown hair, and was currently in a snowy white bathrobe. Her large hazel eyes searched Zela knowingly, and then found the fossil she was holding. She looked disapprovingly at Zela and then snatched the fossil from her. "What have I told you about playing with this...thing?!" she asked madly.

Zela cowered. "Mom, you know what Dad said..."

Zela's mother slapped her across the face, leaving a raw mark on her cheek. She was shocked for a moment, and her eyes swirled as she tried to focus.

"I don't care what your father said! He doesn't know about what you do with this stone, and I don't want you getting germs all over yourself. Are you aware this is THOUSANDS of years old?" she asked madly.

Zela's eyes widened. "Thousands?"

Her mother nodded. "I could sell it, but your father would forbid me to sell anything that you have. A thirteen year old like you shouldn't be playing with a rock."

"Like you care," she said bravely. Another slap went across her face.

"I'm going to my room," she answered, snatching the rock away from her mother and running up the stairs to the left. Her mother glared at her and shook her fist, threatening to break the rock if she ever tried that again.

<--->

Seventeen minutes later, as Zela lay strewed across her canopy bed with the blue sheets, her father came in. He turned the light on and illuminated the room, which was big and had light blue walls, and a couple pieces of furniture were against the wall. Lights on her tan dresser also came on, showing her makeup which she rarely used.

He sat on her bed, combing through his brown hair and sighed, straightning his buisness suit since he had just come home from work. He smiled lightly, trying to lighten his own mood as he saw Zela had wet her pillow with tears.

"Zela?" he asked. "Zela, honey?"

Zela grunted her answer and stirred a little. "What?" she asked, rolling over with her hair in all directions. Her father laughed and straightened it.

"Your mother doesn't understand what you need to do. You've got to become a trainer. It's what I missed out on, and I want you to do it. Please, Zela, it seems like your mother is really getting on your nerves, and if you go out to Hoenn you'll be away from her."

Zela sat bolt upright and smiled. "Really Daddy?"

He nodded. "I've got the plane ready. We have to go right now or we'll miss the plane. I've got the car ready. And I bought McDonalds."

Zela ran out of the house faster than Wile E. Coyote after drinking ten cups of coffee. She rushed into the car with her fossil and backpack. "Come on, Dad! You're so slow!"

Her father laughed, and got into the car along with her. They started off just as Zela's mother was at the window, cursing under her breath. She sat at the bench by the window and muttered. "I wish my mother had given me a Pokemon..." she remembered. "And now I only have my last Pokemon..." she opened a red and white ball, and in a flash of light came a large yellow fox with nine tails. It had crimson eyes, and howled as it saw its master had finally let it out. Its tails were graying, however, and its eyes had a tint of black in its eyes.

"I know, Ninetales. I haven't let you out in a long time. But I need you to do something for me. Watch over my child. Please. I don't care what form you take, but please make sure she suceeds."

Ninetales nodded, and sparkles surrounded it as it became a small brown bird with long talons. It flew out the window and followed the car as it sped down the road with Zela in it, ready to fly to Hoenn.

<-->

Zela smiled as she got onto the large white plane and clutched her fossil tighter than ever. The plane flight was only thirty minutes, so she didn't have too long to wait as she watched her father and the prarie get farther and farther than ever. She waved goodbye, though she knew that he wouldn't see her.

<-->

Zela climbed off the plane and smiled at the beauty of Hoenn. It had large white clouds which never came over the prairie because no rain ever fell. It had large green trees, greener than the ones where Zela lived. The grass waved as she felt the breeze blow through her hair.

"Hello, Hoenn!" she yelled out of sheer joy. There was a large white building in front of her, and it looked much like a labaratory. She rushed inside, hoping to get qualified. It was completely white inside, with lots of lab appliances and test tubes, and many people in lab coats walking around and testing things. She sighed and walked to the central room.

"Professor Birch?" she asked. A man with brown hair and a lab coat turned around and smiled at her. She was amazed how tall he was, but went up to him anyway. "I'm here to get my first Pokemon."

"Aha. You must be Malda from Orre."

"No."

"Oh, Eva from Johto?"

"Nope."

"Um..."

"I'm Zela from Tenois. OK?"

"Oh. Well, all the starting Pokemon have been taken," he said sadly. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the next three starters come in." He looked at the fossil and gasped. "Um...Zela...yeah that's right...can I see that for a minute?" he asked.

Zela nodded unsurely and handed him the fossil. He went into another room, and a flash occured. Zela winced at what he might possibly be doing to it in that room. He came out holding a small bug. It had a black back plate, and two glassy eyes were on either side of its head. It looked mostly flat, and had two large white claws that it must have used to drag itself along since it had no legs. "This is your starter Pokemon," Prof. Brich said.

"Aw, it's so CUTE!" she squealed. Prof. Birch handed her a small red machine that was as flat as the Pokemon, and it opened to reveal a screen and a green and blue button, and a cursor. It said POKEDEX at the top. He also handed her five red and white Pokeballs.

Zela opened the Pokedex, pointing it at the Pokemon. "Anorith, the Shrimp Pokemon, this Pokemon used to reside in the ocean. It uses its long claws to grab passing fish and eat them. Anorith was extinct thousands of years ago, but they are being studied."

"Anorith? Is that your name?" Zela asked the Pokemon. Anorith nodded, and smiled though it had no mouth, at its trainer. She ran off, headed for the gyms of Hoenn.

Ninetales in Pidgey form followed her, always watching...

<-->

Did you like it? I hope so...I love prehistoric Pokemon.

--XKaze

DKzM0mA
19th November 2005, 7:51 PM
It wasn't actually bad. This is the best fic we've had made in the last couple od days.

Grammar: Wow, I don't think I found anything wrong with the grammar and spelling. Punctuation was good and the length was resonable.

Plot: I t kind of sounds like the same old" Trainer gets pokemon. Trainer and pokemon go around the region colloecting badges. Along the way Trainer catches even more pokemon." Well, it unusual that the starter was an anorith. I haven't seen that before.

Description: Well, you aren't too bad on description. All you told us about Zela is what she's wearing and her eye colour. We want to know more about her life aswell. Like if she was rich from beofre she was born, and her mom was cruel ever since she was an infant? You also didn't tell us how her father got the fossil. Did he buy it on ebay? Is he an archeologist?

Overall i don't its too bad. Sounds like another trainer trying to be the best thing but I'll keep my eye on this fic.

~*Ratiosu*~
19th November 2005, 8:42 PM
DKzM0mA-->Thank you for replying! I spotted one grammar error I believe when proofreading this fic, and so I shall fix that soon. It's not going to be the same old "Trainer gets pokemon" story; there'll be major twists and turns. I rather like Lileep, Anorith, Cradily, Armaldo, and Aerpdactyl, so I thought I'd start a story about them. I'll also try to describe Zela more during later chapters. Chapter 2 will be up...soon...I hope. My mom is going through "spring cleaning in the winter". ^_^