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Wooster
22nd November 2005, 7:19 AM
In Kanto the fighting Dojo was haveing thier annual tournament! the winner of said tournament would be given a prize pokemon! a TYROUGE, and not just any tyrouge but a tyrouge bred from the awkward sex positions of the Masters Hitmonlee and a ditto... it was awkward. At anyrate! a tournament of this calibur was sure to attract the best fighting trainers from around the world!

The Competitors!
Team Rocket, of course, came using a stolen hitmonlee!
Team Aqua entered thier prize Poliwrath,
team Magma entered Blaziken!
The Master of course entered using his skillfull Medicham!
Ash came in with Primeape!
Black Belt Chuck Norris entered his Hitmontop
Boxer Mohammed Ali came in with Hitmonchan!
TEAM REPUBLICAN! Ahnold and Ventura! came in with thier mighty MACHAMP!

MORTALLLLL COMBATTTT!!!!!!
Round 1)
Ash Vs Chuck Norris
Ahnold Vs Team Magma
Team Aqua vs Ali
Team Rocket vs the Master

Our hero ash prepares to battle with Black Belt Chuck Norris! Chuck gives a primordial Scream and Bellows "GO WALKER TEXAS RANGER!" and out pops hitmontop! spinning around, Ash reaches for his primeape and yells "I know! Go primeape!" and out bounds primeap to face this challenge! Chuck Norris grins. "I use hitmontop because he doesn't even need to stand up to give roundhouse kicks to the face! WALKER!!!!!!! use your ROUND HOUSE KICK TO THE FACE TEQUNIQUE!!!!!" (this is norris for tripple kick!) And Ashes Primeape takes 3 roundhouse kick to the face!!!!! ash grimmaces as Norris' hitmontop gracefully spins around nailing primeape with round house kicks to the face everytime he tries to close in! this is one intense match!!!!! Ash knows that primeape can't take many more of these roundhouse kicks to the face! and his primeape was looking low on health!!!!! suddenly Ash had an idea (hey even retards have ideas sometimes!) and he thought to himself, oh **** I'm gettin my *** kicked... I need to do something amazing! wait primeape is severly wounded! wait... if I sue my reversal tequnique I can win this match yet!!!! "PRIMEAPE USE YOUR REVERSAL TEQUNIQUE!!!!!!!" and primeape rushes in! and reverslas hitmontop over powering its roundhouse kicks to the face!!!!!! a vailent task that no man has ever done before against Chuck Norris!!!! Amazed at Ashes Victory, though we're not cause he is supposed to be the hero) chuck norris says... you have defeated my roundhouse kicks to the FACE!!! you truley are a strong battler! I hate pokemon I'm going to go kill some people with my awsomness! and Ash procedes to heal primeape!

Team Magma Vs AHNOLD!!!!!!!!
Team Magma looked at thier opponent and tossed in thier pokeball and smiled as they said "firefite burninate him" and Ahnold looked at them and laughed and said "Ve Vill Crush you like sissy man! Go AHNOLD JUNIOR! Ve vill pump you up!!!" So its Blaziken vs Machamp! team aqua has a daring ploy knowing they can't get close to machamp they decide to use thier fire attack! BLAZIKEN BLAST BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh noes! a super power attack! but of course we must not underestimate Ahnold! "AHNOLD JUNIOR! FLEX YOUR ROCK HARD MUSCLES" and as machamp flexed, like ahnold he became tooo sexy for the fire which couldn't touch the sculped muscle and bugling muscles of Machamp! after deflecting the blast with rock hard muscle Ahnold yelled! MACHAMP USE YOUR GROPE ATTACK!!!!!"(this is shwarzenager for vital throw!) and Machamp grabbed blaziken around the waste and grabbed its breasts with its other two hands, when he was a machoke he would have blasted it with *** from his giant wong... unfortunaltly the steroids it consumed to become machamp have reduced that to inefectivity (this is why, kiddies, that machamp doesn't wear the speedo that machoke wears!)... and after touching Blaziken in wrong ways, machamp spun it around and snapped its neck on the ground. and AHNOLD is victorious.... team Magma whipes the tears from their eyes that accumulated watching Ahnold Junior rape their pokemon!



To be continued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stay tuned for more exciting episodes from this miniseries!!!!

Shadowcat
22nd November 2005, 7:27 AM
This is horrible. You need tons of improvement here.

Team Aqua should always be capitalized.

Technique is spelled Technique, not Teqnique.

And what the hell is 'Ve Vill'? What is 'burninate'? Seriously, use PROPER ENGLISH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Every word after a full stop, question mark and exclamation mark needs to be capitalized. If you don't understand that, these are the ones I'm refering to:

. The Full Stop.
? The Question Mark.
! The Exclamation Mark.

Seriously, you treat your Exclamation marks as commars, not exclamation marks. Type it on a Word Software.

Who the hell is 'Ahnold'? No Description at all. Also, I think you mean Arnold.

Anyway, *reports and give one star rating*

Edit: Sneaky, somebody gave this a 3 or 4 Star Rating, causing this thread to have two stars.

Sneaky
22nd November 2005, 8:08 AM
The whole chapter was horrible (If you even call that pathetic excuse for a writing a chapter)

Tyrouge bred from awkward sex positions?
Team Rocket enters the competition with a stolen Pokemon and nobody cared?
Too sexy for the fire?
Raping Pokemon?

You must be insane! All of this makes absolutely no sense! And as xXSapphireXx has said, your grammar is lousy. You don't even deserve one star. This ought to be closed.

Blastoise King
22nd November 2005, 8:08 AM
Arnold Schwartzenegger is who he is parodying >_> i dont see how you couldnt cath that. and btw in the second round you start off with team aqua when they are using blaziken. all in all pretty good. gj ruby

Wooster
22nd November 2005, 1:23 PM
meh I was half asleep and tiered when I wrote this... but I watnted to parody Ahnold Shwarzenager (who is austrian [whichis next to germany]) in case you and didn't know. and if you ever listen to him speak he is ahhnold... he does not say his 'r's very well.... Ahnold = the way Arnold says 'Arnold'...

and yes tyrouge was bred from awkward sex positions... seriosly think about it.... the FEMALE pokemon always give the child its form. Hitmonchan/lee/top are ALWAYS male... there is a delema here. thus a ditto must be used to create a baybe tyrouge! ahhhh well since the stork doesn't bring baby pokemon... theyhad to make that egg somehow........................................... .................................................. ..........................................and where the hell do you stick it on a ditto.............. besides its not meant to be taken seriosly..... its a joke! a parody! I kid I kid, maybe you've heard of those.... or does everything here have to be an anime soap opera?

Slack King
22nd November 2005, 1:57 PM
anime soap opera
gj ruby ;)

katiekitten
22nd November 2005, 2:12 PM
This is bad. Really bad. No offense, bu I am serious. I have read bad written stories, but this is a new level of horror. You have bad grammer, bad spelling, no capital letters, it looks like you wrote it in five minutes. I think this story may be too far gone, but I'll try to help salvage it.

First of all, write it in word, or any other spell check program. Even if you don't have one, at least read through your work. Many of the mistakes could have been ironed out be a simple read through on your part, and it isn't even that long. To not bother is an act of pure laziness. I mean, what happened to your capital letters? They are not ver hard to add in, all you need to press is Caps lock, type the letter then tap Caps lock again. Sheesh.

Second, you need bucket loads more of description. Where is this set? In Zimbabwe? In the middle of the ocean? Help us see what you see! Describe what your characters look like, and who on earth is Team Republican?

Third, it is not a good idea to list who is going to be in the story at the beginning. you could have had a character look at a bilboard and see the lists, but it is usually better not to list.

Fourth, if this is supposed to be a parody, as it is at the moment it is certainly not funny. It has a little bit of potential, but as it was buried under the army of bad grammer and spelling, I could barely see it.

All in all, it needs a lot of work. Cover the points I noted, and you may have a chance.

DKzM0mA
22nd November 2005, 2:40 PM
Wtf? Is this the Dark Ages for the Fanfiction section of SPPF? This is one of the most disgusting, terrible and undescriptive fics I have ever seen.

No descrption at all. We don't even know where the friggin **** is taking place. The only thing you probably explained was the sex parts. FIRST OF ALL POKEMON DO NOT TOUCH EACH OTHER LIKE PERVERTS. DO DOGS GET ON TOP OF EACH OTHER? Also, the entire army of team magma and awua appear with only one pokemon? Or one guy from each team? ALSO TELL US WHAT THEY'RE FREAKIN WEARING.

DON'T DO THAT LIST THING YOU HAVE AT THE TOP. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SHOW US AND DESCRIBE TO US WHAT POKEMON THEY ARE GOING TO USE THROUGHOUT THE FRIGGIN STORY.

ALSO WHERE DID YOU TYPE THIS? THE REPLY BOX? IT MUST BE TYPED IN MICROSOFT WORD 1 PAGE. ALSO WERE YOU WATCHING PORN WHILE WRITING THIS OR SUMTHING? ALSO READ OVER YOUR GOD DAMN WORK! LOOKS YOU JUST TYPED IT IN 5 MINUTES! MS WORD OR NOT READ OVER IT!


Arnold Schwartzenegger is who he is parodying >_> i dont see how you couldnt cath that. and btw in the second round you start off with team aqua when they are using blaziken. all in all pretty good. gj ruby


anime soap opera
gj ruby

WHY ARE YOU TWO SUPPORTING THIS? YOU GUYS ARE TELLING HIM TO CONTINUE AS HE IS , AND THAT HAVE HIM WITH THIS THREAD CLOSED. HELP HIM BY CRITISIZING HIM OR SOMETHING. DON'T JUST SAY GJ AND WALK AWAY.

RENEGRADE WILL GET THIS AND WATCH WHEN HE DOES >=(

Sexy May lover
22nd November 2005, 2:45 PM
You-are-untalented give up now.

dynamo
22nd November 2005, 5:54 PM
Everyone who is insulting this fic, you are way too serious, have failed to get the joke, and phail at life. Good DAY sirs/madams.

Nice stroy ruby.

Zephyr Flare
22nd November 2005, 6:40 PM
Apologies but I will close, purely as any humor got eaten but even then it does go against fic rules so...

SAndra