PDA

View Full Version : My Poems



Perfect Darkness
2nd December 2005, 3:49 AM
I write poetry, so here are three, whatcha think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Close your eyes
See me fly
Be blinded by the pain

Open them
See me drowning
Soaken by the rain

Hear me call
Hear the cry
Hear my history

Hear the shadows
On the wall
Voices, mystery

Walk across
The icy plane
Walk on shattered glass

Listen to
The crushed below
Reminding of the past

Touch the sky
Raise yourself
Relinquish in the air

Lose yourself
To the moment
Fly with no such care

Ecstasy
Fills your soul
To filter out the pain

Feel the moment
Feel the time
Feel the darkened rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kiss me goodbye
Watch me fly
As I rise up to the sky

Through a storm
Through the rain
When Iím up I feel no pain

I'm not hurt
I'll never be
Up here all I am is me

I am strong
I will arise
Watch me go before your eyes

Let me fly
Don't hold me down
You canít help Iím not meant for the ground

I'm meant to fly
I'm meant to soar
I meant to be given so much more

I'm meant to give
Not to take
But this choice of mine is no mistake

I am now
Who I am
Watch me fly, because I can

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did not ask for sorrow
I did not ask for pain
I did not ask for what I lost
And what you did gain

I did not ask for what you did
I did not ask you why
I did not ask what you were thinking
I just closed my eyes and cried

I did not ask for what you took
You gave me one last breath
You watched above with desperate eyes
As I fell into my death

I did not ask for an apology
I did not ask for grief
I did not ask for a helping hand
As you let me do like fallís last leaf

But now I ask why you did this
Why, but you wonít say
Iíll make you do it tomorrow
Tomorrow, next week, next month, just not today

~;353;

Carpetted!
2nd December 2005, 3:54 AM
I'm really no good at poetry, but I think this one is very metaphorical!

katiekitten
2nd December 2005, 3:49 PM
I liked your first one, (a little spelling error, I'll put it below)


Soaken by the rain Should be soaked. I don't believe soaken is a word. XD

The second one seems kinda repetitive from the first one, and the last one is ok, just a bit miserable.

Perfect Darkness
2nd December 2005, 8:25 PM
The Joe one, sorry, but not that good. I know it is trying to be funny, but I don't realy find misspelling 'more' funny. Just my opinion. *shrugs* :)Excuse me? Which Joe one? I do not try and be funny my in poems, they're all serious..

Should be soaked. I don't believe soaken is a word. XDYeah I realize, I had to fudge with that, Soaked didn't sound as good as soaken in my opinon, so I made up a new word

~;353;

katiekitten
5th December 2005, 4:21 PM
Sorry, Carpetted posted one of his here. It confused me.

Ejunknown
12th December 2005, 3:59 PM
First One: 10/10 I really like it. It had good rhythm and a good ending, good job! Soaken isn't a word, but it does sound better than soaked and fits well.

Second One: 7/10 A little repetitive and not as good as the first one. It didn't have the same rhythm too it.

Third One: 9/8/10 It was ok. At times it was a bit wordy when you tried to fit more in as well as rhyme it, and the last line could do with improving, but all in all it was good.

Great Job!

Perfect Darkness
13th December 2005, 11:22 PM
Alright, I have dug up 2 more

Windows
Doors
Clothes
Shoes
People
Everywhere
No turning
So revealing
Your potential
Of being exposed
Your signature
Your sign off
Who you are
What you can be
Unidentifiable
To one's naked eye
Yet to look closer
Is to show
You are curious
You are interested
You want to know
To look closer
Is to see
What is there
Or to adjust a position
Is to identify
What is there
What you are curious
And interested
And yearning to know
About
What is seen
Is not what's there
There is more
Then just the
Fingerprint
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The moments of time fly through life after life, going
As the sands of an hourglass, they will stop soon
Every moment nears, but theyíll not stay
Missed, never returned, not received
It falls evenly, lucidly, steadily
For so seems that it will not
Go back, but only move
Forward, straight
Downfall
Gone
But
At the
Other side
Of the hourglass
There is still goodness
There is still a new beginning
Time only ends when you decide
The sand only stops when you make it
Because if you let time pass, cherished, loved
It will return the favor; it will make life sweet and fun
Because people know that that gift, is timeless within itself

~;353;

ArmyRaichu
16th December 2005, 12:56 AM
I like your poems. I am really known as ChaoMaster. Can you read my poems?

Ejunknown
18th December 2005, 5:21 PM
4+5 poems: 9/10. I like them. They have a lot of feeling in them.