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Kiyohime
2nd December 2005, 5:20 AM
*climbs onto box and taps microphone* This thing on? Okay. XD Ladies and gentleworms, welcome! Welcome! ^^

*plays Team Hobo theme song*

Saber: SO....dear readers. Scrap and I have decided to create a fic together. Now, contrary to popular belief, we have found we are not as different as we may seem, even in writing styles. Thus, the product of our chats and over-imagination is this; The End Tower. Please enjoy!

That is indeed correct. People seem to be skeptical that Saber, who specializes in light humor, and I, a horror specialist, are incapable of smoothly merging our writing together.

(edit: Whoever rated this a one-star within seconds of this thread being posted, at least have the spine and the maturity to tell us why you did that. We're open to constructive criticism. -___-)

WE WILL PROVE YOU WRONG.

This is not a horror story, nor is it a comedy. It will be an action adventure with elements of fantasy, horror, and comedy in it. ^^ It will be balanced. It will hopefully break the stereotype that seems to swirl around our writing styles. We have worked hard on this, and we hope you will enjoy it. It should be up in January.

Gentlemen, we are proud to present....


+THE END TOWER+




These skies are in turmoil,

The clouds laugh at us,

The stars mock us,

That sun burns our bones,

This world turns to dust.

The dark one carries our souls in his pocket,

We buy, he sells-

-The chance to kill-

A demon as we see ourselves.



Millenniums ago, when the stars were still young, the world of Endgame was still whole and healthy. Civilizations grew and flourished upon its lands—Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Orre, and many, many more. Humans and Pokemon tolerated each other, and were able to coexist. Technology advanced rapidly, and soon Pokeballs had been created, as well as many other technologies. Technology helped civilization to grow and expand.

The people captured pokemon and raised them for their ability to battle, and to become good friends. It was a co-existent life...a harmonic world...

But there is never a world without legends.

There were gods, of course. Gods which governed over the worldly elements which dominated Endgame— fire, thunder, ice, steel, earth, stone, sky, sea…the heavenly balance of the celestial wheel. There was peace.

But peace cannot be eternal.

Soon, the technological spread of mankind led to conflicts as trees were torn down and steel skyscrapers rose in their place, as seas dried up and mountainous valleys were frozen over with ice. Thunderstorms raged as the land grew with life, then withered and died. Conflicts arose between the gods as the elements warred for domination.

Soon, the conflict between the gods tore a vast rift into the planet, almost splitting it into half. Mankind and Pokemon alike perished, and the gods destroyed themselves in the release of their own uncontrollable power.

For centuries, the dead world spun silently through its orbit, cleaved almost in two halves by the gaping wound. The energy of all the elements combined slowly settled into the deep rift, and breathed life into the world once again. This flood of transcendent energy would come to be known as the Lifestream.

The Lifestream’s energy was channeled from the very core of the planet, and formed twelve beams, which held the world together and prevented it from falling apart, to be scattered among the stars as ashes and dust. From the Lifestream, twelve Guardians rose to watch over the world. They were, persay, titans, but at the same time, mutations, creatures transformed and transcended. They were the first beings to walk upon Endgame's surface after the cataclysmic war.

They came to be known in mythology as the Zodiac.

Turtle. Bear. Fish. Monkey. Horse. Rat. Snake. Crow. Dragon. Tiger. Wolf. Spider.

Twelve Guardians. Twelve Beams. Endgame was reborn.

Soon, civilization slowly began to rise up again, from the Lifestream itself. Mankind and Pokemon alike spread across a new and changed world, and twelve major cities arose to honor each Guardian of the Zodiac. Each city was a marvel, each a blend of technology, nature and the dominant power of the Guardian. Each was wildly unique, with unique people.

However, there were also monsters, monsters that crawled up from the depths of the Rift to multiply and spread across the world, wreaking malicious havoc. They were abominations, a merging of human and Pokemon. They came to be known as the Wereyenas, for it was whispered among children and storytellers that the Wereyenas had the monstrous ability to change between two forms—that of human, and that of the Mightyena clan. They killed to eat, killed for territory. Although just trying to survive, the Wereyenas and Mightyena clans alike had come to be hated and feared for their differences.

The Mightyena clan came about under the Beam of the Wolf, the place of their birth...

Because of that, Beowulf, the City of the Wolf, was always regarded with grudging suspicion, although the citizens were the same as anyone else. Such is the inherent nature of mankind, sadly.

Pokeballs, once a common sight, were now a rare object of mystifying wonder. The power to seal and convert a Pokemon into raw Lifestream energy within that innocuous metal sphere! People marveled. The technology to mass-produce them had been lost, and they were soon forgotten. However, a black market arose as Pokeballs were laboriously manufactured, and people went out to capture Pokemon in the wild and bring them back to sell on the market. Those people were either freelance or worked under employers, and they came to be known as the Sphere Hunters.

However, the term Sphere Hunter would soon take on an entirely different meaning for certain people hired by a certain man by the name of Stephen Mort.

Stephen Mort was an elderly man with graying hair and pale blue eyes. Stephen Mort was nobody you wanted to cross, and he was a friend you would always want on your side. Stephen Mort was a man of both legal and illegal business, and had contacts everywhere in every city. He had his fingers in everything, like a Mob godfather. He was aware of everything. He was in possession of invaluable knowledge.

He knew that past the screamingly monotonous wastes which preceded the gaping, cavernous maw that was the chasm of the Rift…. past the blazing glow of pure Lifestream energy bleeding into the world…past a point where time grew strange and distorted and old, like spoilt food…where the very directions of North, South, West and East had begun to warp and drift…at the very core of the world…there was a Tower.

The End Tower.

If you drew a circle that represented the world, and then drew twelve lines representing the Cities under their Beams within the circle, all twelve lines would meet at the very center, like the spokes of a wheel. Very much like a clock… guided by the hands of fate.

And at that very center…deep within the Rift… the heart of the world, the Lifestream…was the End Tower.

Perhaps it had the power to end time and tear the stars from the sky, or perhaps it could grant people a gift beyond giving. He did not know what it was for. He did not know who had built it. He did not know what terrifying power was possibly stored within it.

All he knew was that he had sought the Tower his entire life, and he was beyond giving up on this desire.

All he knew was an old childhood rhyme.


Twelve Beams; Twelve Guardians
Twelve Spheres of the Zodiac
Wolf and Spider in the shades of our coffins
Crow and Dragon poised for flight above the stars
Bear and Fish under stone and under sea
Old Turtle holding the world-tree upon his back
Tiger and Snake in the darkened woods of the fey
Rat whispering secrets and Monkey howling gaily
Horse galloping the skies upon blazing wings of fire
Twelve Guardians; Twelve Beams
Twelve Spheres to unlock the End Tower.

++++++

BenJS
2nd December 2005, 2:17 PM
I've only read the first chapter or two of Saber's fic, as well as all of Scraps' fics that I could find on here, and I was in agreement that your writing styles were totally different; too different, in fact, to make a good co-fic.

However, in just that short preview, I was proven wrong; and boy am I glad. It flows rather nicely, a perfect union of your styles, and I can't wait for the story itself; which seems rather odd to say the least, which is definately a good thing.

If you do PM shoutouts for this I'd love to be on the list.

Kiyohime
2nd December 2005, 3:01 PM
You, sir, have just made two girls very happy. *BIG HUG* You honestly have no idea how fantastic it is to hear that after the criticism we've received simply for announcing we were co-writing something together. Indeed you shall be on the list.

We were slightly taken aback by the one star rating this thread received within minutes of it being posted, but we'd decided that no matter what, even if End Tower gets scathing criticism, we will kep writing it, because we had so much fun writing the first few chapters of it together.

I realize people will be harsh because it does seem random and impossible, her being light comedy and me being horror, but we've known each other for almost a year now, in fact. Just check my join date. I used to beta her work, and she has helped me a lot with my stories, and we talk on AIM a lot, so the End Tower has been carefully thought out, I assure you (as well thought out as insane outbursts and ranting can get. XD)

But if readers are judging the work before they have even read the first chapter, then how dare they call themselves reviewers? They have absolutely no right, unless they've read our work in extremely careful in-depth. If they did, they would realize that the last few chapters of Cross of Fates more accurately shows Saber's talent, rather than her first few. And then they should closely examine my Sin characters, Psycho, Pierrot, and Zeffy. Then observe the most recent chapter of Sin, which was all action, all humor, with one horror scene. That is the most accurate "barometer" with which to judge The End Tower.

Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest. XP Love you all.

Zerodius
2nd December 2005, 4:43 PM
(WARNING!

A huge battleship codenamed
"Harsh criticism"
is approaching fast!)

OK... I'll state my opinion.

No matter your talent... I hate the basic plot and find it both horrendous to my taste AND awfully unnoriginal. Now that's out of the way... know that you both have talent and that this story doesn't prove you wrong.

Good points:
-Good grammar
-Good flow

Bad Points:
-HORRENDOUS BASIC PLOT
-Sounds awfully cliched (seen that scenario in 41201201 common RPGs I think...)
-Executed in a cliched way (just a little more cliched and we'd see an evil empire and the hero with his big sword in there!)
(nitpick)-Hates the "everything is destroyed and everyone dies" intro as well as the world rebirth thingy. Intro has next to no actual details also ; no effort to make it logical just a mere "OMG! For some random reason (peace cannot be maintained? Ugh. Find a REAL reason, someone?), everyone turns evil and destroy each others!". *clap clap clap* That was... bad... real bad...
-Too many points I hate.

May the authors be Saber and Scrap or Joe201 and Pika401, a bad story is a bad story, no matter how much grammar you put in it.

My final comment:

Uber overrated authors they may be, Saber and Scrap still do mistakes once in a while: this fanfic preview is the proof.

My final suggestion:

Can this story. It's plot is laughably bad (almost N00B level). Overrated you both may be, fact remains that you have talent by the bucket load and I hate seeing people waste their talent. In short, back to the drawing board. Your fans will get praise for you once anew and haters, like me, will get to shut up. Win win, isn't it?

Anyway... have a nice day. *hopes he doesn't get reported for his harsh, almost-flame tone...*

katiekitten
2nd December 2005, 4:59 PM
I really enjoyed this, you two. I enjoyed the plot, and the prologue leaves me wanting more. If you could put me on the message list, I would be very grateful. :)

I need to get around to reading your stories at some point, I just don't have the time... :(

Ryano Ra
2nd December 2005, 6:41 PM
o.o...

It doesn't seem impossible at all. I've reading Cross of Fates as of now, so THATS how I know that you two have distinct writing styles (just not the last four chapters, though her writing has improved since the beginning in like, every chapter). I never said it would be bad nor good, but strange to read. But, Scrap, reviewers do have the right to judge, whether we like it or not. This is a world and people live in it, they think what they want to. You cannot simply just say "Oh, reviewers don't have the right to judge work without actually reading it" because talk runs around here and they'll judge it for themselves. Saber is indeed a good writer, but I thought it would be totally eccentric for you two to collide in writing, though I can see about one or two similiarities. You CAN tell between the two, which is reflected in this preview you have here.

Now, onto the story...The End Tower. Nice fanfiction name, though I think the plot needs to be fixed up. I've seen this done before about two or three times, strangely, with very similar ideas. o.o; I really liked how you two collided in this story, because the writing was more...fluid and smooth. ^^ However, the plot needs a bit tweaking, and the ideas need to be enhanced, if you get the drift. You guys have lots of time before you release it, and I'm hoping you guys will fix it with the time you have instead of writing it out to something many people won't like. But, it's Scrap and Saber; they'll be on it in notime. ^^ Also, word repetition bugged the hell out of me, especially the word 'technology'. There are two creatively-talented minds. I KNOW you guys can find another word for technology. Then again, is there another one? o.o

Overall, great job, and this truly deserves a five-star rating, just needs a little more work. ^^ And I loved the fantasy elements, they stunned me. *_* Looks like I have competition. X3

Act
2nd December 2005, 10:18 PM
Ehhh...

I didn't like the prose at all. My main problem was that it seemed unable to decide whether it wanted to be formal or informal, but I also felt some choppiness and just a lack of the polished professionalism I've come to expect of your work, Scrap. Saber, I'm sorry, but I've never read anything of yours-- I can't judge. That doesn't sound like a good reason, but I can't really describe it-- I just didn't rub me the right way.

The plot... I agree that it was very flawed. Even as I think about it now, I'm not sure what the point is. I agree with Syra-- you have many ideas, you just need to develop them into one idea. Though, I'm not a fan of zodiac-based fan or original fic. I've never read one I've enjoyed; they all fall into a mold.

Good luck with this. I think it'd be fun to do a joint fic with someone. If only I had intiative.

mindripper
2nd December 2005, 11:03 PM
Well, without going off hte hook, I must say that all authors should be given their fair chance to make a work tick, and same thing applies here, However, there are some things that I do not like.


But there is never a world without legends.

Not only is there nary a world without legends, it seems that there is nary a fic without legendaries either.


Gods which governed over the worldly elements which dominated Endgame— fire, thunder, ice, steel, earth, stone, sky, sea…the heavenly balance of the celestial wheel.

Nitpicking here, but an element refers to the personification of a particular strain of energy, something which I can assure you the sky is not in most particular strains of occult learning. Perhaps I can be of service to you all in this aspect. Just have to contact me if you want.


Turtle. Bear. Fish. Monkey. Horse. Rat. Snake. Crow. Dragon. Tiger. Wolf. Spider.

This has to be the single part which irked me the most. A zodiac refers to a certain stretch of constellations, and is thus fixed in reality. I can assure you that no zodiac, be it vedic, chinese, celtic etc fits your mould. I can tell that you tried to include every pokemon type in the 12, but it is not a good idea to warp real concepts.


Because of that, Beowulf, the City of the Wolf, was always regarded with grudging suspicion, although the citizens were the same as anyone else.

Beowulf has to be one of the most maligned personalities ever. If he is associated with wolves merely through nomenclature, we have a rpoblem, because the name Beowulf is actually derived from a translation of bear, and Beowulf is known for his strength. You should probably know that Tolkien himself was a huge fan of the work, and I can point out a few parallels between Tolkien's work and Beowulf. Please do consider changing that name.


Mort

Let me guess. based on latin translation for death?

Ok, rant aside, let me say that I disagree and agree with detractors. I agree simply because it has too many elements a cliched work will have, no matter how sugercoated. I disagree because originality is a little bit f a myth these days. It is how you intepret and present the norm that is important, possibly more so than originality.

Co-writing, IMO, is usually a bane, as compromising between two people, and hybridising two styles usually means a cross between the two which is worth less than its individual sums, and seems like a shadow of the individual component writers. You both deserve the chance to vindicate yourselves, however, and time will tell if you can do so.

Ryano Ra
2nd December 2005, 11:33 PM
Ehhh...

I didn't like the prose at all. My main problem was that it seemed unable to decide whether it wanted to be formal or informal, but I also felt some choppiness and just a lack of the polished professionalism I've come to expect of your work, Scrap. Saber, I'm sorry, but I've never read anything of yours-- I can't judge. That doesn't sound like a good reason, but I can't really describe it-- I just didn't rub me the right way.

The plot... I agree that it was very flawed. Even as I think about it now, I'm not sure what the point is. I agree with Syra-- you have many ideas, you just need to develop them into one idea. Though, I'm not a fan of zodiac-based fan or original fic. I've never read one I've enjoyed; they all fall into a mold.

Good luck with this. I think it'd be fun to do a joint fic with someone. If only I had intiative.Act, you stole my words. ;_;

Although I have read 2/3 of Saber's story (those chapters are long as hell), it seems as though that even when the work was smooth and fluid, it didn't have a special 'zing' to it. Plus, might I add now when rereading this a couple of times, that you put in too much information. I feel as though we could have learned about Endgame and perhaps Lifestream in later chapters as the story progressed, instead of smashing in into one chapter. x.x That isn't good at all.

And about this whole "even if you get scathing critism" stuff, are you simply writing this story for the joy only? Team efforts need team improvements, and if you don't want to improve, you both need to prepare for lots of critism. What you are saying just 'touches' me the wrong way, like this is the kind of fanfiction that can be horrible, but you two still type it nevertheless. --; Is that what you are saying, Scrap?

Okay, I'll leave now before I start typing out pages of stuff, basically useless rambling about the good and bad of this. Good luck.

Kyle of Pallet
3rd December 2005, 12:38 AM
This is good. You kept me reading. The plot is not basic at all. a basic plot to me is like a cliche type plot. But this looks like it could erupt into a great story. Keep going!

purple_drake
3rd December 2005, 1:36 AM
Well, speaking as someone who has little experience in cliche types of fanfic, I thought the plot sounded pretty good; but the main difference between this and other similar stories is that Scrap and Saber are writing it. Now, I haven't read any of Scrap's work, but Saber's fic is a novelisation of Fire Red and Leaf Green - and if that's not taking an often-used plot and making it original than what is?

Also, I don't think this is supposed to be a chapter, per se; just some background into the story so we can see how it appeals to us. I'd expect we wouldn't get so much information so quickly in the actual fic - right? Right?

Anyway! If you guys wanna write a fic together, go for it; and if it works, more power to ya. It might take while to work all the kinks out, so I'd say to give a little time before passing judgement.

xXSaberXx
3rd December 2005, 1:39 AM
D: Thanks to all who reviewed so far. Your opnions are validated, yes, and we appreciate them. In no way, however, do we plan to, as you so wonderfully put it, 'can' it. We are not discouraging reviews, so thank you for your opnion. It helps.

Beowulf? Well, we don't know much about him, but we like the name....They are names much more than they are descriptions of characters, and the wulf part....well. Perhaps it's copyrighting? Tch. We'll get to that later. Maybe edit it out if someone doesn't like it at all.

We also made up our own Zodiac, combining some of the Chinese and some of mythical animals. It wasn't meant to be based on the modern day zodiac. No, not at all. We ARE NOT trying to warp real concepts. The Zodiac is their name. They are NOT, however, THE Zodiac. Sorry if we confused.

Latin translation? Actually, I have no clue. I doubt it. Scrap and I just came up with his name while talking. Mort is also the name of his company, so we put that in there because Mort Incorporated, sounded cool.

Syra, I am completely awed at what you say. Thank you for reading my story, however, zest is a very, VERY broad catergory. I am sorry to hear that I fail in it, and in no way do I mean to try and WRITE zest. I do believe my story is for some people, and not everyone. It just works out that way. *bows to* Sorry.

I don't think that was what Scrap was trying to say at all, however. It IS a joint project, but it is JOINT because of the fact we both admire each other's qualities, and in order to expand our repoitoire and possibly learn from one another, we created this. I don't think we think this sucks, at all. We just know that some people will hate us for what we do, and other's won't. That's how life is. You can't please everyone. It's hard to do so, and we aim to reach a point where both or some of our audience will enjoy.

Like PD said, this is just an intro. Orginally, we planned to throw this out the window and just post the first chapter, but then we were like, NAHHHHHHHHHH. Hahah. It was a thing. And yes, we will strive to work the kinks out, albiet, slowly. x3

Overused, huh? Well, you could say that, seeing that this is a mix of past works and new ones. Some people may not like seeing things that are done again, and considering we lost most of our fanbase with just this one post, it proves that theory. Sorries to all of ya! I know that many of you already dislike it, but to each his own. Thank you for your comments and your time. It helps, very much. Though we may get discouraged because of it, that is what being an author is about; improving. Wording was a little twisty, ahhh, but what can you say? I drag Scrap down. :3 I drag most people down without meaning too. xPPPPP;; ITS A TALENT! *dance*

Ahem. ANYWAY. So thank you to all. We will put those who have asked on the list when it comes out, and till then, thanks!

Ryano Ra
3rd December 2005, 3:57 AM
Glad to hear such happiness from you, Saber. ^^

Again, I hope for the best and I know that you two will work very hard, just make sure to do your best and try to collide y'all writing styles into one beautiful style that'll just flow. That is when you guys have truly conquered the art of co-fiction. ^^

Saffire Persian
3rd December 2005, 6:59 AM
LIFESTREAM! SPHERE HUNTERS!!!

*dies from a sudden Final Fantasy Overload*

*revives*

Now that that's overwith!

It's an interesting start, truthfully. I'm...rather fascinated with mythology and all the like - and the zodiac itself (and things like it) have always intrigued me., even if this Zodiac is not quite the same thing. Tiger... I want to know what Pokemon you are using to represent it. Raikou? (Unless you believe in it being a legendary dog..thing...)... *eyes theory*



As for plot - I've seen reviewers complaining about it. But right now, I say "how can one comment about the plot at this point in any degree?" This is the prologue, nothing can be truly gleaned from it until you progress. So I'll save my judgement 'till that time.

Sure, the prose is different - but it's a joint project from the two of you. (I can definitely see the combinations of writing styles here. The two of you have writing styles that are so totally different, that it's interesting to see what combining two talents together'll do.

And as for everything else - all I can say is I'll definitely keep up with this. The thing is I really reserve what I think about it usually until a few chapters in, as this is a prologue... and maybe it seems cliche, but the thing is, IT's THE PROLOGUE. XD It can go anywhere.

This is a piece of mythology (as real as it may be in your story, it's what it reminds me of here). And as such, this kind of prologue usually can and will seem cliched, doesn't mean that the whole story's going to be cliched here, people.

Am I ranting? XD

Furthermore, there's a reason cliches became cliches. People liked them.

XD... I like them, too, at times. I wanna see the first chapter now. Would one of you PM me when y'do so? Thank ye.

Typhlogirl
3rd December 2005, 8:59 AM
DID SOMEONE SAY..MYTHOLOGY?!?! *rabid mythology FREAK*

Back to the fic plz. XD

OMFG FANTASY. Yes. I read this and I think, IMO, that this plot is original. Well, I haven't read/seen anything quite like it.

You two have actually got me quite excited. Surprising since I'm in such a *****y, stfu plz fuk off now mood :P. I really like what you have here. I really do.

I'm a sucker for fantasy, I admit it. I am really enthusiastic about this plot! Even though I can't see the stories direction yet, but I'm betting it has something to do with the 'End Tower'.

No ****. XPP.

Well, I wish I could actually offer you two something you could actually work on, but that's not my strong point. I'll just say this: If you two are going to write this fic together, it is imperitive that you always agree on everything. Please don't get into an argument. I can see that you two have a very strong friendship, which is a major plus, but you have got to make sure that you are always agreeing on everything. I personally would not wish to write a fic with another person, as I am quite possessive, but bleh. If it works for you two, then go for it! Maybe you'll start a trend. ;D

Which brings me to a question: Just how are you writing it? Does, for instance, Scrap write a chapter then PM/Email it to Saber, and she gives it the thumbs up and its posted, then vice versa for the next chapter? Or are you doing it some other way?

Ah weeell. Whatever. You guys do what you want, it's all good! Right? RIGHT?!

O_o XD

-;157;

P.S. Add yours truly to teh PM list. I have high hopes for this fic. Just don't let me fall down, k? :)

Elemental Charizam
3rd December 2005, 11:48 AM
Nitpicking here, but an element refers to the personification of a particular strain of energy, something which I can assure you the sky is not in most particular strains of occult learning. Perhaps I can be of service to you all in this aspect. Just have to contact me if you want.
In medival England, I do believe Air was considered as one of their (five) elements, no?

Wel, it wasn't without its flaws; as stated earlier, it was a mix of formal and informal style, which felt rather awkward. I also felt there were too many omnious one liners in there, gave it a bit of a choppy feel. While there are new concepts, they seem to be mashed in with fantasy clichés so it all seems rather same-y =/

In the end though, it's only a prologue; the true test is chapter one, though I admit to being a little dissapointed by this :(

It isn't all bad though. There are plenty of original concepts, even if they don't stand out that much when reading. Looks like it could be a very interesting read, and reminds me of other good fantasy fics, but in a good way (sorta). I'm too indesicive about this fic...

Good luck to both of you!

mindripper
3rd December 2005, 12:35 PM
In medival England, I do believe Air was considered as one of their (five) elements, no?

Air and sky are two very different concepts in occult circles. The very essence of it requires the enclosing of the involved magical elements in a circle. Believe me when I say it is pretty damn hard to explain, but air is usually jointly considered together with water for the blue element of magic. Sky, on the other hand, does not have any magical roots to begin with, and thus cannot be considered. Also, medieval England used many different forms of magic, and it is better to be specific. Fire is an element of chaotic magic, and is usually used as its representation, for example, but you will realise that thunder is not intrinsically linked to magic. There are reasons why this is so. I think that you could look it up if you want to.

As for the Zodiac, what I meant is that a Zodiac is basically just a stretch of constellations, and it is difficult to be very flexible about it, because stars have fixed positions. Different cultures simply adopt different constellation positions to utilise. I am fine with you creating your own zodiac, but I thought that you could do well with this prior knowledge.

One thing I wll definitely say is that judging from a prologue, or being biased against the notion of having two co-authors is not really fair to anyone. No one judges Pavarotti by how he sings in the shower. There are few truly original concepts out there, just how well the authors can utilise what they choose to work with, and I certainly wish them luck on their endeavours.

Joshua - Shadow Brigadier
3rd December 2005, 1:07 PM
Scrap, Saber, I bow before you. This is fantastic!


Turtle. Bear. Fish. Monkey. Horse. Rat. Snake. Crow. Dragon. Tiger. Wolf. Spider.

Although I'm a keen follower of most mythologies, I have no objection to butchering them when it suits the purpose. Well done ladies. *thunderous applause*


Twelve Beams; Twelve Guardians
Twelve Spheres of the Zodiac
Wolf and Spider in the shades of our coffins
Crow and Dragon poised for flight above the stars
Bear and Fish under stone and under sea
Old Turtle holding the world-tree upon his back
Tiger and Snake in the darkened woods of the fey
Rat whispering secrets and Monkey howling gaily
Horse galloping the skies upon blazing wings of fire
Twelve Guardians; Twelve Beams
Twelve Spheres to unlock the End Tower.

I want to know how the hell you two came up with something so beautiful and yet so mysterious.

Send me a line as soon as you post something else from what promises to be a fantastic read.

Joshua

Sike Saner
3rd December 2005, 8:02 PM
Now, what I'm interested to see is going to be those Wereyenas -meh, I like Pokémon/Human hybrids; I just do. ^_^ Do them justice, you two...describe them well...else they might come demanding satisfaction from you in the night...

...Wait. That didn't sound frightening. That just kind of sounded...gross... o_0

Bah, ignore me; I'm just no damn good. :P But yeah, do put me on that PM list. ^_^


No one judges Pavarotti by how he sings in the shower.

XD Love that. Although...the mental image that can conjure is... o.o Wehhhhhh...

Kiyohime
4th December 2005, 12:54 AM
Holy bugshit.

I don't have much time to respond to all this, because some family issues have surfaced, so I regret to announce 'll be gone for a couple days, so Saber's gonna have to hold the fort for now.

People, people, you're jumping the guns.

This isn't a story about "save the dead world and make it reborn!"

I came up with the idea of having a world that was literally cleaved through half the sphere (think Pac-Man) and we both decided to have the End Tower at the core. The End Tower is the focus of the plot, but we needed an explaination as to why the world was split in half and so on yada yada yada, and all of what we posted was general background information.

Now, as for the Zodiac Guardians...

They don't bloody represent a bloody Pokemon type, Mindripper. Did you read what we said?

HORSE. RAT. SNAKE. SPIDER.

The Zodiac ARE what they ARE. Period, goddammit.

I'll be VERY impressed if anyone can show me a "Pokemon" representation of a monkey. The Slaking line are sloths, and the Primeape line are based off "pig monkeys" but they're actually hog-nosed Furbies on crack. Or something. <<;;

So we are not "warping concepts." Sorry, but that really irked me. --;

And "sky" was meant to refer to Rayquaza, much in the same way "rain" and "sea" aren't elements, but are associated with Kyogre. Though they're all dead so it doesn't matter.

We chose a lot of names in mythology for the Zodiac, and they don't always have an actual link. The Crow is named after the Morrigan even though it's not made of three women who wash clothes in the river and chop off people's heads, the Horse is named Grani, even though it's got wings like Pegasus instead of eight legs like Sleipnir. The Rat is named after a bloody kid's book character, for crying out loud. NICODEAMUS from the Mice of NIMH. Yeah, laugh at us now. XP

Please, no one take offense at my rude words. I'm in a very pissy mood, which is directly related to why I'm going to be gone for a bit, and I'm as far from happy as anyone can get.

And when you consider the fact that it's just some background information that we
created solely so people won't be all "WTF YOU DOUCHEBAGS WHERE'S KANTO AND EVERYTHING111!!!!!111!!" when the ACTUAL SMEGGING CHAPTERS of the End Tower are posted, I think you can keep your panties on and not jump to assumptions that it's gonna suck harder than....well, never mind. All you older people know what I would have finished that sentence with. XP

Don't waste your time replying to this, as I won't be around to read it. See ya all.

Kamex
4th December 2005, 1:23 AM
I'll be VERY impressed if anyone can show me a "Pokemon" representation of a monkey. The Slaking line are sloths, and the Primeape line are based off "pig monkeys" but they're actually hog-nosed Furbies on crack. Or something. <<;;

Don't waste your time replying to this, as I won't be around to read it. See ya all.
Well... it's not that I have anything to do with this, since I probably won't be reviewing this fanfic, but I just wanted to ask if you considered "Aipom" as a Pokemon representation of a monkey?

mindripper
4th December 2005, 9:42 AM
They don't bloody represent a bloody Pokemon type, Mindripper. Did you read what we said?

HORSE. RAT. SNAKE. SPIDER.

The Zodiac ARE what they ARE. Period, goddammit.

I consider that done in bad taste. There is no reason to snap at someone like this, especially if I have made a valid point about your work, and am trying to help you both get it right.

Firstly, the zodiac IS what it is. Singular term. Now, seeing that you do not know what a zodiac is, let me explain it to you clearly so that you can perhaps understand why you slaughtered it. A zodiac is basically the stretch of space to a maximum of eight degrees either side of earth's ecliptic, which is basically the intersection between the apparent orbit the Sun takes relative to Earth and Earth's orbit. What does this piece of jargon mean? It means that the zodiac is FIXED, and the different zodiacs of different cultures are simply derived from their different emphasis either side of said ecliptic and calenders. A single zodiac does not cover the entire ecliptic on both sides.

Now that we have established why my arguments have been valid, we move on to your rant. You can conceivably create your own zodiac, but the context of your words has it that you are borrowing from real life, by your notion of "not warping concepts".

The sea is considered as an indirect element, as water is an element. Steel is an element in chinese mythology. The sky is not an element simply because the sky is a blanket term referring to what we see when we look upwards, get it? Maybe you are going to base it on Rayquaza. No matter, still not a reason t lash out at people in self-defence without once admitting your own mistakes or giving a single bit of leeway.


We chose a lot of names in mythology for the Zodiac, and they don't always have an actual link.

Please do not make me tell you how they got their names. Also, there is a nicer way to get your point of self-creation across rather than snapping at others.


Please, no one take offense at my rude words. I'm in a very pissy mood, which is directly related to why I'm going to be gone for a bit, and I'm as far from happy as anyone can get.

Next time that is an excuse to blast others when your own work is far from satisfactory do let me know. You angry with something? Live with it. Stop sharing your "happiness" with everyone else. It just shows immaturity.

purple_drake
5th December 2005, 4:52 AM
Mindripper, you say that Scrap isn't admitting mistakes or giving leeway, but I don't see you doing it much either. And your assumption that you're helping them 'get it right' is just that: an assumption, when they've obviously got their plans set out.

There is nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from real-life objects; we know the Zodiac as a series of constellations. But if you want to look at it another way, they could also be considered as a bunch of stars named as a group of 'guardians', and that's what Scrap and Saber's Zodiac strikes me as - guardians. It's open to interpretation; don't condemn theirs because it's not the norm.

Perhaps the sky is not considered an element in other mythologies; why can't it be one in theirs? You must remember, the planet this story is set in is not Earth: it's Endgame. The is no medieval England, no occult. Their mythologies and magics can be vastly different to ours. If they want it to be an element, then it's an element. The key word here is fantasy, an exploration into the mystical and supernatural. Let them explore.

No one is forcing you to do anything, mindripper. While I agree that continuity and connections between names and people is always nice, they're allowed to choose the names according to their own muse. None of us can know what plans they might have for them.

Now, you obviously know a lot or do a lot of research or whatever, but one thing you might need to learn is to offer help when help is desired. You've said your piece and Scrap and Saber have explained that that's not the way things are in their fic. That should be enough. Stop forcing the issue; you're only making it worse.

mindripper
5th December 2005, 9:31 AM
I have no problems as to people creating their own versions of reality, and all I did was to point out how their version differed from reality. I found it obvious enough that at least the zodiac was based on reality as far as te authors were concerned. Of course I cannot give leeway on subjects like these, because they are real facts, and no matter how you twist them, the real-life versions remain imovable fact. What I do, and did give leeway on is for the creation of new versions, as you can already see, so I have little idea what the problem is. The main issue I had my my last post is that I got hammered for pointing out a fact, which is absolutely ridiculous.

Plight
7th December 2005, 12:38 AM
Well, I have decided to stop reading the replies to the thread. Why? ‘coz I want to. It’s weird that people think that horror and comedy don’t go well together. Because some of the best stuff I have ever read or even seen on television is a mixture of these two. Normally I don’t read comedy fanfiction, as most of the comedy on FF.net I have read has been really… stupid. And just not funny. But for some reason I have a feeling that Saber’s fiction is good and smart. Maybe it’s just the fact from that introduction, or something. I just have that feeling. And I really like smart humor. I pretty much thrive on it and sarcasm. I don’t care how clichéd it is. Most literature today is clichéd and unoriginal. Or the plots, that is. Scraps’ writing is amazing; she can make any plot work. And just by reading the first chapter, I know that Saber really improved the style and tone of the writing. It’s more lighthearted, but still has the sense of darkness.

The fact that people continue to repeat, “It’s been done before,” “Seen it thousands of times.” Big deal. Everything has been done before. Most of the fanfictions on this site has been done before. Most of these fanfictions on here were criticized as the beginning, and then it got some faithful readers that brought popularity naturally to it. And then EVERYONE likes it, and they say, “Oh, I’ve been with ya since the beginning.” No you haven’t.

Sorry, I just don’t like it when people jump on something so roughly before they even give it a chance. C’mon! It was the FIRST chapter. More like an introduction, really. And there’s

This is Saber and Scrap’s work. I must say, but what they say goes in the world they created. Who cares that some of it isn’t realistic. Look at half the fanfiction on the Net. Sure, it they said two plus two equaled foot. Then yeah, you can complain. The mixing of zodiacs and mythos… I just find it interesting. The plot is interesting. Or, well, to me.

I’m giving this fanfiction a chance. Saber, Scrap. Please, don’t like anyone discourage you.

xXSaberXx
7th December 2005, 1:56 AM
Roffles Mindripper. PD, and ourscenex, you too. Thanks for your concern, you guys just warm our hearts. I think Mindripper has a valid opnion, and yes, he was getting hammered, but we can't expect to waltz through our whole time here without getting hammered because of our opnion now, do we? Just because flames and the debate forum is lacking here, ( I THINK...), doesn't mean that we are all hunky dory. DUNK HORY ROFFLES. xP Anyhoo, Mindripper, sorry if you aren't used to people snapping at you. D: I'm not either, so when people do it I kinda get upset. I understand your reasonings, but please remember, this is only fiction. We don't really necessarily CARE what is real and what is not. We make UP what is real and what is not in our fics. Rofl.

Thanks our scenex and PD for sticking up for us. I know me and Scrap tend to think we are almighty because we write things people like, and reading a thread like this really makes me stop and think. We really try not to be arrogant, nor stupid, but sometimes, alas, we are human and humans tend to do what we are not supposed to do. Unfourtunatly, we also hate it when people critisize us, naturally. Thanks all, for your opnions. They matter.

The intro, also, doesn't matter! =D Just giving a basic overview. And considering we've worked almost two months on just planning, I believe it might be a semi-good fic. ^.^

Thanks again to all. *hugs*

PS. Me and Scrap? Getting discouraged? Heehee. NO CHANCE! *hugs to all*

Kiyohime
7th December 2005, 2:10 AM
I apologize for snapping at ya, Mindripper. I don't wish to get off on a bad foot, as your opinion is as valid as mine.

Blue, you totally, utterly pwned me. I completely forgot the purple chimp with a hand coming out his butt. XP

And to PD and Ourscene, thanks for having faith! We hope to not disappoint you guys and fall flat on our face.

Saber''s right, I admit it. We shouldn't try to use our popularity, but our talents. It could be a crutch. X_x

mindripper
7th December 2005, 5:56 AM
Do not worry about it. I do not have a problem and I do not bear grudges. Saber, it is not that I cannot bear getting hammered, for it does happen IRL, but it does not validate it. That was simply the point I wished to make. Whether or not you all take heed of my points is completely at your discretion. Good luck.

Mimori Kiryu
15th December 2005, 2:05 AM
You know something? This seems like a bashing period with Scrap and Saber standing there with signs that say, "Hit us, we could ****ing careless!"

I'm sitting here, reading this preview outloud to myself, wishing how I could write even half this good with all the description and back story and then go to read the replies and most of them are saying how it's cliche.

CLICHE???!?! What the hell??

This is one of the better stories here. I've read Sin and many other stories by Scrap and I've read Saber's story CoF since the very beginning and I always thought they had similar views on how the Pokemon world and reality collided. As soon as I saw that they were writing a fiction together, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I thought that I'd never read anything better, and I'm probably right.

Mythology is awesome, and I love how you carved it to your own perspectives. I also like the mutated human/pokemon Mightyenas. Those looks awesome.

All in all I don't think that this story is cliche at all. I think it's well thought out by two of my favorite authoresses and you all need to sit and wait before you decide to contradict someone's fiction. I think this one has potential and I can't wait to see the rest.

Please add me to the PM list, if you don't mind, Scrap & Saber. *hugs you both*

~Mimori Kiryu~

Kiyohime
3rd January 2006, 8:50 PM
Update update update. Wereyenas have been removed in favor of the Defiled, rampaging dieased Pokemon infected by corrupt Lifestream. You'll recongize them by their dark color and glowing eyes. But fear not, a certain class of Defiled operate very much like Wereyenas. Wereyenas were changed to Defiled because they are awesome and because i'm using Wereyenas in my upcoming fic, so people might get bored.

We're working hard on the chapters, but it's been postponed because of a series of events, blah blah blah. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten this little jewel. :0