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Lady Myuu
4th December 2005, 2:15 AM
I am wanting to know how I did on this before I continue it. This is only five chapters long but each chapter are pretty long. I want bluntess on the plot so far, I want to know how believible it is and what needs worked on (other then my grammer but you can point that out if you like) I have a beta'er for this who hasn't had the chance to beta yet and I would like two beta'ers if I could.

I want this to be criticed well! I want to know if anyone will even bother reading it...



~*~

Place and time: This story would take place in a time like our western days (1860-1870’s perhaps) but in the pokemon world.

Genre: Fantasy/romance



Chapters: Five



List:

Chapter one: Of Mareep and red hair

Chapter two: A bed in the blizzard

Chapter three:Secrets and trickery

Chapter four: A past most unpleasant

Chapter five: I


Chapter completion: [ _____0%_____ ]


Rated: PG-13
Warning of death in first chapter




Into my woods

By Lady Myuu

Come into my woods, make yourself at home.

I mean no harm.

I want to be of aid.

I don't bite…

I don't…

I promise.



Prologue

Once upon a time, in a land so very old yet so very young compared to now, Back before the common pokeball or the common trainer, before cars and computers, before any sort of electronic.

There was a girl.

Now many expect to hear that she was a special girl, pretty and brave and was the best in her class. She could befriend any creature with a sweet whisper. But this is not so, for this girl was very common and ordinary. A farm girl she was, she lived on a small farm with her older brother and parents. She was good and did her chores and always did her best in school though it wasn't always enough.

She was often called foolish, as she was known to pick a fight with boys.

But when she was of fourteen a terrible tragedy accrued, her father became ill with a terrible sickness that had been sweeping the sweet land of Johto. It soon took his life and with that the supporting key to the small farm. The girl's mother was devastated and was never very strong to begin with.

So the two children, fourteen and sixteen began to do there best to keep up with the farm and there school but soon found that they were failing and were unable to put bread on the table and keep the roof from leaking. So one painful day, the older son took up a sack kissed his mother and sister goodbye and headed off for the grand city of Goldenrod, to work there and send money back to his family…

That was two years ago, the older brother often sent letters for the first year and very little money if any at all for months until…his letters stopped and so did the money, as if he had vanished from the earth.

Now the girl was left to care for her farm her mother and school. She could not do it all so she had to abandon her education in hope she could lift up the farm back into its glory it once held.

But then another tragedy hit, the same sickness that had taken her father was now taking her mother. The poor woman was bed ridden and could barely speak. The doctor could do little but dull the pain as best he could.

The girl knelt down beside the woman; she clutched her mother's cold shaking hands.

"…Hannah, my little Hannah…" the mother whispered "Brave and true Hannah…" she sighed now as she clasped her cold hands tightly.

"You have grown into a fine young woman, you will make very good wife to a good man someday… if only your brother could see you… if only I could see him once more. See how handsome he must be for if you trued out so lovely he must be twice as handsome as he was the last time I saw him" her horse voice whispered as a weak smile played across her white face.

The girl now known as Hannah closed her eyes and nodded as she held back tears. She loved her mother dearly as she was the only family she had left, both of the men in her life had left her to fend for herself and her mother… now soon she would be alone too.

"I will find him ma, I will bring him home to you" Hannah replied gently as she kissed her mother's cheek. "You can count on me."


Chapter one: Of Mareep and red hair



The brunet haired young woman, now age of sixteen and a half grumbled to herself as she glanced about the dark woods, it was as if it was night in the ilex forest, the trees so thick together that they blocked out any light. Though most of the trees were pine those that were not had golden or red leaves. None had really fallen yet and if they had it would make little difference as the tree were so thick and branches so many that still the sun would find it a maze to get through.

The girl's green eyes darted around her, her hair had been pulled back into a braid to keep it out of her face. Her clothing was a simple white blouse with a loose green travel skirt. It easily got caught on branches.

She had a small bag in one arm and a leash to a small animal in another. A shall was wrapped around her shoulders to keep the nipping chill away.

"Fluff, this was stupid." Hannah sighed as she looked down at the Mareep, as it was one of the few pokemon that was domesticated enough to travel with. As in the old fashion world of pokemon, it was not so easy to just capture a wild beast but it took time, breeding and training of a different kind. Most pokemon were kept as protection and pets and most that have been breed to be this way instead of those in the wild.

After all taming a wild gyarados with out a pokeball would be quite a challenge to many.

Hannah came from the small town of Azelea, and when they say small they mean 'population fifty' small. It was a freshly started town, Hannah's father moved there when it was just starting to get a schoolhouse slash church.

The young woman had lived there all her life, she had never dared gone near the ilex forest, which was far on the outskirts of town. It took a good three hours to get near the forest and to get past the woodcutters who seemed keen on not letting her enter.

Something about a dangerous creature looming within…

"… The only thing dangerous about this place is that it never ends" Hannah declared loudly sending a small group of hoothoot flying. As the owl pokemon do not know when day or night is and tend to be up all hours of the day.

As if the Mareep could understand its master the sheep pokemon gave a bah in response and its skittish eyes darted about unsure of this knew place. Its tail glowed brightly giving Hannah the light needed.

The farm girl could not recall how long she had been in the woods, as being unable to see the sun she was really unsure if it was night or day. But she was praying it was still day as she had been warned to get through before nightfall.

And so the woman traveled on, dragging the poor sheep pokemon along as it baahed in protest against this injustice life had brought upon it. She ignored the pokemon as she glanced about her again, as she had come to a fork in the paths and no sign showed where to go next.

"… I'm going to kill my brother" she growled as she looked about nervously as the sounds of the forest was getting to her, Fluff once again baahed in response to her seeming to believe that the death of her brother was a good idea.

Hannah after spinning in a circle with her finger pointed out scooped up her bag and untangled the leash around her. Now that she had used her 'map' to find the right path she headed down the little dirt trail ignoring the sinking feeling she was just going to get more lost. If that was possible that is.

The two beings continued there way down the unknown path in the unexplored forest of ilex in an unexplored land of Johto. Which was making Hannah feel very small and insecure and really, really hated her older brother right now, she was going to kick him for causing all this mess.

Hannah slowed her walk, her eyes falling onto something in her path, it looked like a small house at first but a second glance told her it wasn't, it was built up off the ground a little with beautifully sanded wood. It had a small shingled roof that made into a slope on both sides. Only three walls as the fourth was missing so that anyone may see inside, it held a small platform within which seemed to be there to put something on…

Stopping for a second the girl stared at it for a bit before looking down at the worried looking Fluff. The sheep pokemon baahed in fear and tugged on his leash but Hannah ignored it. Looking over at the unknown shrine again something glittered brightly from inside, seemed a small stream of sunlight had broken through the trees and now was aimed just right to hit whatever was inside the strange little building.

Hannah stared a moment before grinning and let out a small "Ooh shiny" before heading forward towards the shrine, Fluff whining and pulling the whole way in attempt to stop his master from going any closer.

Once reaching the shrine the girl looked inside of it and noticed a small plack in front of the platform. She blinked as she tried to read the words engraved into it, and slowly said allowed to her pokemon.

"In honor of the forest protector" she mumbled out before glancing down at the Mareep.

"Any idea that that could be?"

The sheep pokemon just continued to bah in protest against this cruel world that had brought him straight to the slaughter. Hannah just rolled her eyes before peering deeper within the shrine; she froze as she felt a cold chill wind blow past but shrugged it off as she looked down at her find.

A strange gold ball lay in a round engraving on the platform; she had never seen the likes of anything like this before. She noticed two letters on the ball, GS. She blinked and tilted her head a little her eyes staring at her strange find. She had never seen a pokeball, in fact they were not really invented yet, yes there were some strange ways to obtain while pokemon but not in anyway a farm girl could afford or really know of.

Hannah shook her head a little to get rid of the 'ooh' feeling she had before glancing about to make sure no one was watching her other then Fluff. Not that anyone else was in the woods or so she thought. Slowly she reached up and touched the cold metal of the ball. It chilled her fingers a little and she now attempted to grip it, to see if she could remove it.

"That is not a toy." Growled a voice "In fact touching it may upset him"

Hannah let out a loud eek as she backed away from the shrine and held Fluff's leash close to her the sheep pokemon now going berserk and trying to escape into the foliage. The woman looked around trying to spot where the voice came from, she didn't understand why she was so frightened… but she was. She wasn't expecting anyone to speak to her in the middle of the dark ilex woods. It was unknown territory mostly, few really venture through it.

Stepping around the shrine was a man. He had been leaning behind it the whole time and heard Hannah even speak to her pokemon. He looked around the age Hannah's brother would be, eighteen, but looked nothing like her brother. His hazel eyes watched Hannah like a farrow's deadly glare, the eyes held mostly grin with a twinge of yellow. His hair was the color of a burning fire and was thick covering his ears and sometimes fell over his eyes. He wore the basic trapper outfit, the animal hide outfit which was now a tan color, it went to a little ways above his knees and he wore slacks underneath that. A belt around his waist with a dagger hooked to the side.

Over his shoulder were a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Hannah hadn't seen a bow and arrows before in a long time as most men just used rifles to hunt with. She stumbled back a few more steps now as he looked inside the shrine as if to check on it.

"Little girls should not make a journey through these woods" he sighed "Haven't you heard the rumors?"

Hannah straightened out her dress before trying to stand as tall as she could, she didn't want to be seen as a little girl, she paused a second letting his question sink in before replying

"I'm not afraid of robbers" she told simply as she crossed her arms, still keeping a hold of the leash while he bag remained at her side. The man looked at her now; she could tell he was probably very experienced in these woods just by the look of him. Probably hadn't had a bath in months.

"What haunt these woods are no robbers" he snapped out as he stepped forward closer to the girl and caused Hannah to retreat a few more steps.

"… You mean that stupid rumor about a monster?" she gasped "That's not true, there is no pokemon that would do those crimes, only a crazy person would do..."

"… You're a foolish girl" he growled "What the beast does is far beyond what any man could." He paused now glancing about "You are running out of time."

Hannah tugged on her mareep's leash as she turned to head down a path "Then I should get going!" she called as she began to move away from the odd man.

"… You're going to take the long way?" he called after her as he placed his hands on his sides with an amused look in his eye. Hannah froze on the spot before she spun around quickly eyeing the young man closely.

"…long way?" she asked now and it seemed Fluff was ok with the long way as he was trying to pull the girl as far from the man as possible.

"That path weaves a nice long rounded way through these woods, a two day walk. Good for nature trails" he told as he motioned with his hand "Most of these paths are useless if you want to get through here before nightfall" he pauses looking up "Or before the first snow of winter"

Hannah stared at him a moment, she wasn't sure if she should believe him. But he looked experienced and well, he seemed to know more about these woods then any of those woodcutters or that old hag she had spoken to before entering.

"… So how do I get through here before nightfall?" she asked as she kicked Fluff a little, as he was now pulling on her skirt trying to get her to move.

"Follow me" he turned "These are my woods and only I know the fastest way through" he smirked looking over his shoulder. "Unless…you don't trust me?"



"Of course I don't, I just met you" Hannah grumbled as she pointed down at her pokemon "But if you try anything…"

"Your going to sick your pet on me?" he gave a short chuckle "Good, I like Mareep chops" he added as he began to walk away leaving the girl behind on the dirt trail.


Hannah sighed as she looked down at Fluff then back up towards the mysterious man who was vanishing from view. Then back down at Fluff, as the sheep seemed to be cranky and annoyed at how foolish his master was acting. She turned as if she was about to go down the dirt path and ignore the man's warnings but instead scooped up her small bag and turned around back towards where he had gone off path.

"Wait for me!" she called as she dashed after the trapper, she cursed her brother every time her dress caught on a branch. She saw that the man had slowed down to a stop to allow her and Fluff to catch up.

“Not many heed my warnings and follow, perhaps your not a foolish girl after all…” he turned now and began walking once more, though there was no true path he seemed to know this way so well that the branches and plants did not snare his clothing.

“… I have a name you know” Hannah grumbled, stopping shortly to get Fluff free from an attacking tree.

“Do you now?” he chuckled “And that would be?”

“Hannah, Hannah smith” She told now as she ignored Fluff bahing in annoyance now instead of anger at all the twigs getting stuck in his fur. The man didn’t look back at her as she said her name; he continued walking the unmarked trail.

“Adam. Just… Adam” he introduced himself.

“Ah, nice to meet you” Hannah mumbled now not really sure what else to say. She was beginning to feel awkward once more being around such a strange man.

Adam mumbled something but she didn’t quite catch it. The two then fell silent other then Fluff bahing regularly every couple seconds, which was getting on Hannah’s nerves.



And so the farm girl, the trapper and the Mareep journeyed deeper into the forest, the constantly night time likeness continued to cause Hannah to stumble and for her to get caught in the bushes or branches along the way. Her hair was a wreck she knew that and she probably had ticks in her hair. The time passed slowly with little conversation between her and Adam and for some reason Hannah found it nerving that he was so silent. She decided to try and break it.

“So… how long will it take to get the goldenrod?” she asked calmly as she made sure to try and walk exactly like Adam as he seemed to not be having any trouble with branches and twigs.

Adam didn’t respond right away, just looked up into the trees as he walked and when he did speak he did not answer her question.

“Hannah Smith, how long have you been in these woods? I tend to not keep track of time, it is hard when you have no sun to follow” he spoke calmly as well and placed his hand on a tree as he stopped.

Hannah thought a moment, nudging Fluff with her foot to let the sheep know it could stop walking, stupid creature. She glanced around now wondering really how long she had been in here.

“I got in here around noon… a few hours maybe…” she mumbled. She trained her eyes on Adam now as he continued looking up into the tree tops. Slowly his strange hazel eyes looked back at Hannah and she could see a slight of worry in them.

“We will not make it before sundown I believe” he said quickly and yet loudly causing Hannah to gasp a little. It was dark in here during the day; it must be pitch black at night. Adam sighed as he turned away in thought once more.

“Couldn’t we… travel at night?” Hannah asked carefully, as if she may upset the strange man. He didn’t respond right away before slowly turned his face back towards hers.

“You have heard the rumors but yet still wish to travel these woods at night? With the beast about that would be suicide. Have you not heard of the bodies that litter the edge of the forest? Men woman and children alike?” he asked her now, looking concerned and yet almost angry. His red eyebrows wrinkled and close together made him look like a sort of hoothoot.

Hannah looked as if she wanted to gag, seemed her mind was equipped with an over active imagination and it wasn’t being very helpful with the images of the slaughtered. She scratched her neck awkwardly at Adam’s words and felt as if she was being stared right through by those uneasy eyes. She was beginning to think following him was a big mistake.

“A-are you even sure… this creature… is really even a creature? Couldn’t it just be… some mad man?” she asked not sure if that would make the situation better or worse. But for some reason the idea of a beast, something that was probably faster and swifter then her or Adam in the woods sounded worse then some crazy man who lost his mind.

“No man could do what it does. No… nothing could do what it does” Adam closed his eyes and clinched his fists “Only I know the woods enough that I can pass through and live in them with ease. The beast respects my home and I respect his. He isn’t a stupid beast… just hungry.”

“You let him get away with killing people?” Hannah gasped stepping back in alarm. “Hasn’t anyone tried to stop it?”

“… If I could stop it I would. But I can not and I will not try. People have never showed me any kindness and I will not share any with them… well. The people of goldenrod have not.” He tried to give a comforting smile “If you remain with me you will be fine tell I can get you through to goldenrod in the morning… but be aware that once there I wont be able to protect you”

Hannah felt as if she had been threatened, but she shrugged it off and for some reason felt she could trust that he was not going to go off and feed her to the beast. She could almost since that he too feared the beast and was not about to help its thirst for flesh.

“But you didn’t answer my second question” she peeped up now and Adam raised an eyebrow at her. “Hasn’t anyone tried to stop it?” she asked now her hands behind her back and Fluff seeming to think that the leaf he had gotten off a bush was the greatest find in the world.

Adam sighed as he turned around “Let’s walk as we speak” he suggested as he continued the unmarked trail. Hannah took step behind him and once again had to begin to drag Fluff as he was still busy devouring a bush. After a few steps Adam began to speak once more.

“Many men have come to kill the beast, asking for my help in finding it. Sometimes they try to pay me, other times they try to force me. In the end I just point them where they may find it and go on with my business. If they force me… well it never works in there favor.” He sighed now his hands crossed. “Some come back alive with out any sign of the beast; others don’t come back at all. Its either you don’t find it and live or find it and die. Sometimes they threaten to burn the forest down. But it’s protected, you saw the temple right?” he asked now changing the subject somewhat. Hannah narrowed her eyes and nodded her head before realizing he could not see her head and answered him.

“Yes, it was to ‘a forest protector’” she replied simply not really sure what else to say. Before realizing she had no idea where they were going, they were not going to goldenrod now if they could not make it there before sunset… “Where are we going?” she asked now.

“Let me finish first before another question, girl. There is more to this then you think” he snapped out growing a little frustrated. Seemed he had a shorter temper then Hannah had thought. “Now the forest protector does not let his forest burn unjustly. Sure forest fires are natural and healthy but… destroying this whole forest would be disastrous.”

“You sure know a lot of the beast and the forest protector for being a simple trapper” Hannah commented now growing a tad suspicious of Adam. He just seemed wiser then his age to her.

“… I have been here a long time, Hannah Smith. I know things my father has taught me and I know things my mother taught me. I learned from life that nature and things beyond it are not to be messed with.” He glanced over his shoulder at her and Hannah knew it was time to change subjects.

“…well where are we-“

“To my home, I live in the center of the forest. I have boundaries set up that the beast knows to stay away from. He knows I keep the forest safe and so he allows me to stay. You will be safe there.” Pausing as a cold draft blew through the trees he sighed “I smell a frost coming”

Hannah sniffed the air, raised an eyebrow and thought simply ‘Weirdo.’



So once again the two fell silent, the walking continued for what felt like forever to Hannah and though it was all ready dark she could tell it was getting darker in the forest. She tugged Fluff along as the sheep began to whine once more about the situation he was in and how he was going to die. Of course Hannah couldn’t understand a word of the rather over emotional sheep.

Hannah paused for a second before getting back in step behind Adam, she had saw some light coming through the trees ahead and was amaze at any sun light making it through the trees at all. Adam was still silent as he headed for the light that twinkled through the forest and gave off a beautiful mystical look. The forest remained the same width though as they neared the burst of light and Hannah realized the forest didn’t thin out, it just stopped. Entering out into the open she saw that it was like a bald spot on a man’s head. A round circle where no trees grew, it was rounded and could probably fit a small house in the opening from the forest. Grass grew freely here and only little dirt patches here and there.

Hannah noticed a small hut; she probably couldn’t eve stand up inside of it. It was made from small logs from the forest and had a sloppy job of a shingled roof. No windows and no door, just a blanket hanging over the entrance. A small pipe came out from the roof showing that there must be a sort of kettle inside to burn a very, very small fire.

Beside the hut was what looked like a slanted wooden box, a second look showed that it was not a box at all but a cellar door that led into the underground where he probably store supplies for the winter.

The last thing that was a part of this odd place was that in front of the hut was a small circle of stones; it was charred inside showing a fire was often burnt there. A stack of firewood was beside the hut on the opposite side of where the cellar was. There were two logs that were beside the fire circle and then in the middle between those was a carved wooden stick that had been planted in the ground, it came up to about three feet before it had what looked like a perch for some animal.

Hannah glanced around and gave a dry look “So… this is where you live…” she said slowly before looking up into the dimming blue sky. She sighed a little, it was good to seethe sky again, she couldn’t see the sun as it was out of sight and the thick trees hid it from her view. She couldn’t really see anything at all unless she was higher up above the trees. But she did notice a few dark clouds here and there.

“This is my home” Adam said simply as he went over and grabbed some logs from the fire stack and began about to setting a fire. “You may sit if you wish. And don’t look so uneasy. I am no lustful man; I will cause you no harm. It has been while since I have had any kind guests. Don’t make me regret helping you.” As he said this Hannah had taken a seat on a log, she bent over and tied Fluff to the strange perch beside her and the sheep pokemon went about to eat the grass it could reach.

Hannah placed her bag at her side and then straightened her skirt, running a hand over her hair she withhold a grown as she pulled out twigs and leaves and knew her braid was probably coming out. She reached over and opened her bag and began to search through the little belongings she brought with her, an extra traveling dress, a Sunday dress, some food and a very small bag of money and then she finally found her hairbrush and taking that out she closed her bag.

She pulled the tie out of her braid and once undoing the hairstyle began to brush her brown locks. She didn’t notice that Adam watched this out of the corner of his eye as he worked on starting the fire, his red hair covering his watchful eyes and keeping him from being spotted by the girl. Fluff let out a bahing cry at Hannah. She continued brushing her hair with one hand Hannah reached over and pets the sheep pokemon’s head affectionately.

Now that the forest didn’t hide Fluff’s looks so much the Mareep was a soft yellow color in the thick wooly fur, the blue face and legs were a rich ocean blue while the black and yellow tail was just normal for a Mareep. Nothing was greatly special about him other then being one of the six sheep Hannah had owned and was the last she had for the others she was forced to sell.

She stopped petting Fluff and carefully begins to work on her hair again starting to put it back into the braid it was in earlier. She sighed a little as Fluff had taken her not giving him attention as an insult to him he now moved away to the other side of the perch and lay himself down in the grass. Hannah trained her eyes now on where the fire was as it had just sprung to life before her. It burned the leaves quickly and then moved onto the logs in which were placed there to feed it.

Adam was now setting up a pan and had filled it with some water, he placed it beside the fire close to it so that the water may warm but not turn to steam before he stood and walked towards the hut and opening the cellar he vanished from sight.



“Well Hannah, this is unnerving.” She whispered to herself now as she glanced around more. She felt that Adam was watching her every move and if she made one mistake she would be sent on her way. He didn’t seem like a bad person… just misunderstood and a loner. She almost felt jealous of him. He didn’t have to rely on anyone or have anyone rely on him. No one could leave him or die or vanish or abandon or whatever else that has happened to her in the past.


Hannah was a tad bitter at her brother and a tad lonely for her father and of course worried for her mother. She really was still a tad immature to be exploring the world at the age of sixteen after all. Age does not rely on maturity and maturity does not rely on age.

Just then a loud squawking sound was heard. Hannah let out a loud yelp and fell backwards off the log and onto the ground behind her. She grumbled a little as she blew her bangs out of her face and slowly rolled over onto her knees. “What was that…” she head a small tweet now and so the girl glanced up and froze a second and now realized what the perch was for.

Sitting upon it, wings folded neatly and twittering away was a flying raptor pokemon, its slender build and unique wing shape showed it was built to be fast and quick when capturing it’s pray. The head and back were covered in brown feathers while the chest and lower face were covered in an off white set of the same kind of feather. The wings were brown as well though the very tips of them held the off whiteness like the belly had. Around the eye was a black patch of feathers which directed the sunlight away from the eye when flying.

Five feathers sprouted from the birds head; they were all an off pink color and would fold up and down depending on the pokemon’s mood. The tail feathers were also this off pink color with a mixture off white color.

“A pidgeotto!” Hannah gasped as the bird pokemon let out a high pitch cry before lifting its wing and began to clean underneath it. Hannah stood slowly and eyed the bird pokemon; she had never been so close to one. It was beautiful and looked so wild and graceful. She didn’t even realize she had cupped a hand over her mouth in astonishment. While her other hand cupped her mouth, Hannah reached out with her free one and slowly moved it towards the bird. Wanting to see if she could pet it, but as she drew near to a wing the Pidgeotto’s eye glitter and with lighting fast speed it took a deep bite out of Hannah’s finger.

A second of silence followed before a loud screech came next as the farm girl jerked away and fell down once more now landing beside the startled Fluff.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! OOW!” she screamed out as she stuck her bleeding finger into her mouth. She didn’t notice that the flying raptor pokemon gave her a ‘serves you right’ look from the corner of its eye before returning to grooming its wing. Hannah continued to whine about the pained finger and Fluff joined her with his bahing. After a few more minutes she felt a hand grab her wrist which was the owner of the injured finger and jerked it out of her mouth.

“Sorry, Arrow bites strangers” Adam told as he bent down in front of Hannah and now looked at the bleeding finger. It was a bad bite, just bloody. He grabbed the pitcher of water he had used to feel the pan with and poured it over the wound before getting up and going into the hut before returning. He took a piece of cloth and wrapped it around the injured finger.

“Better?” he asked and Hannah gave him a thankful smile.

“Much.” She replied happily but it seemed Adam wasn’t paying attention anymore as he turned now and began to cut vegetables into what Hannah now guessed would be stew. The girl took her place on the log again and fell silent still a little upset at her injured finger. After a little bit and once the strew was cooking the trapper looked at her again.

“You may sleep in the hut. I will remain outdoors. Once it is morning I will rise you and we can be on our way to goldenrod.” He offered some stew now as he spoke. Hannah just nodded before noticing the nipping could around her and looked back at Adam.

“Thanks…” she said after taking the stew “But… it’s cold out here, you really going to sleep out here? You said so yourself that there is a strange beast around… I don’t think it would be fair of me to take your bed.”

Adam sighed a little and did not pour any stew for himself but sat on the opposite log and tossed a few jerky bits to Arrow.

“I have duties at night, I will not explain. But it is fine for you to sleep there and I will be fine. Don’t question my judgment, you’re the farm girl and I’m the trapper” he grumbled out seeming to be annoyed at all her questions.

“How did you know I was a farm girl?” Hannah asked surprised, if she wasn’t sure she mentioned it but still it unnerved her.

“You look like a farm girl, act like a farm girl. Smarter then one at least but yes you seem to be a farm girl in my book. Why are you going through these woods exactly?” he asked as he pulled out his dagger and began to carve a piece of wood.

“To find my stupid brother.” She grumbled “My Ma’s sick and she wants to see him again. He’s in goldenrod.”

Adam glanced up now still peeling the wood “Oh? And what is his name? Perhaps I have met him when I went there for supplies awhile back.”

Hannah took in a deep breath after she finished a bite of the rather untactful stew.
”Grant.” She answered simply now more interested in filling her hungry belly.

“Grant Smith?” Adam asked now seeming to be more interested in the conversation.

“One and the same… why?” a beam of hope shot into Hannah’s eyes. “You know him?”

After a few seconds of thought Adam shook his head, he looked down back to his simple work. “Nay, it just sounded familiar at first. But no I know no Grant.” He replied.

Hannah lowered her head in defeat and sipped some more of the stew, she had noticed though that Fluff and the pidgeotto known as Arrow seemed to be having a staring contest that was lasting far longer then expected.

After what seemed like hours but was probably a few minutes and the sunlight almost gone. Adam stood and dumped what was left of the water onto the fire after removing the stew. He stamped on the ambers and threw some dirt on it before grabbing the stew and started heading for the cellar. At this the bird pokemon Arrow let out a screech and took to the darkened sky and vanished from view. Feeling lonely now Hannah stood and untied her pokemon from the perch and smiled down at the silly little unstable emotionally sheep. “Well, maybe we should go to bed?” she offered Fluff, not wanting to leave him outside for scavenger pokemon to devour. As while he wasn’t really worth a hunt by great predators he was an easy living corpse to eat.

“Sleep well Hannah” Adam calls from across the opening in the forest before a short wave and then he vanishes into the very dark woods. Hannah could now feel eyes watching her from all around as the pokemon nightlife really hit on. The sounds of the hoothoot grew louder with shrills of oddish and some bug types. Hannah wanted to call for Adam to come back but he had all ready gone…

“Guess it’s just you and me, Fluff. Come on” she said taking her bag up into her other hand and began to head for the hut with the sheep pokemon behind her. She was just about to enter the hut when she felt a tug on the leash. Groaning at the thought of Fluff putting up a fight about getting into the hut she turned around with an evil glare ready to scold the Mareep.

But Hannah froze at the sight in front of her, she dropped her bag to the ground and clutched to the leash tightly as she gasped in horror. Before her crouched a very large and very wild white feline. She was built like a cougar and had eyes of fire. A red pearl on her forehead and ears bent back as she let out a loud hiss through her deadly teeth. In these teeth held the frail and weak neck of Fluff who was bahing weakly in pain and eyes wide with horror. Blood twinkled down from his throat.

Instinct kicked in and the sheep pokemon let off a very weak shock trying to get the Persian to release it from its deadly jaws. But the cat pokemon would not and clamped down harder until finally… a snap echoed about the forest and the sheep pokemon fell limp.

“NO!” Hannah cried, her farming girl instincts kicking in just as well as the mareep’s and she pulled on the leash of her dead pokemon. “He is MINE!” she cried as she grabbed her bag and tried to fling it at the Persian. It seemed to only anger the white cat as he now stepped forward towards Hannah. She let out a loud eek and backed away from the large cat pokemon in fear. “Go away!” she cried now. “Shoo! Or I’ll throw something at you!”

This seemed to just make the cat angrier but it paused, one ear picking up and listening before its eyes narrowed and a twinge of fear came, as its tail had puffed up much like tamed meowth do when frightened and with its kill still in its mouth the Persian ran off quickly into the bush.

Hannah let out whimper, she wasn’t sure just what happened but now… now she was truly alone. Taking her bag once more she crawled into the little hut. Her eyes stung with tears at the sight of seeing Fluff killed right before her and the young woman was feeling so lonely and lost as if everything she cared about was leaving her forever.

She found the hut smaller then she thought, with a single hay bed in one corner and a small pillow with some kind of furred blanket. In the other corner was a pitcher of water with a cup and next to that was a small burning kettle. It burned some coil and gave little warmth really, a bucket of coil beside it.

Hannah ignored this all as she just crawled onto the bed and collapsed onto it. Her eyes leaking tears now as the fatigue and emotionally draining day was starting to get to her. She pulled the furred blanket over her and even covered her head with it.

“I want to go home.” She whispered before closing her eyes and before she knew it, she had falling into an uneasy sleep.

~

As Hannah slept and dreamed of giant biting pidgeotto, zombie sheep and a red haired demon she felt someone poke her shoulder. She mumbled a little and rolled over a little facing the other way of where the poking was coming from.

“Hannah.” A small whisper spoke. “Hannah” it spoke once more still poking. Hannah finally opened her eyes and pulled down the covers looking red eyed and sleepy.

“… Adam?” she asked in surprise seeing as he had invaded her privacy so early in the morning. The red head boy had a look of concern on his face.

“You know how I said that I sensed a frost in the air?” he asked.

Hannah nodded.

“And you know that surrounding most of the forest is mountains?” he asked once more.

Hannah nodded. She didn’t understand where this was going at all.

”Then you know that there is a pass from the forest to goldenrod… a pass between two mountains that… once snowed in can’t be gotten through until it melts?”

This time Hannah shook her head in a no. Hannah now understood where this was going.

“…Well… were snowed in... were snowed into the forest.” Adam gulped now showing true sign of worry.

Hannah decided to go back to sleep no wand pretend she was dreaming.

End chapter.

Dilasc
4th December 2005, 2:29 AM
You won't bite? Bummer... just kidding, seriously! For real, it certainly is unique, that is for sure, but I'd like to point out a few errors.


Most pokemon were kept as protection and pets and most that have been breed to be this way instead of those in the wild.

As taming a wild gyarados with out a pokeball would be quite a challenge to many.

You mean to say bred, as that is the past tense.

The follow paragraph is just wrong. Try saying that aloud. Doesn't sound very right, does it? Instead of as, you could try 'After all' or 'As such', but 'As' by itself just causes this to be a rather incomplete sentence. I don't see why its worthy of its own paragraph either.

There are a few more... I'll post them if you'd like. Beyond the gramatical flaws, it seems like you're on to something good here though.

Lady Myuu
4th December 2005, 8:11 PM
well since no one seems to want to bother reading the motherload of writing and ect I will give cookies to Dilasc alone! *cookies* ;; thanks for giving me at least something to work with and not letting me go off into thinking I have failed again.

anyway...

I edited and repaired what you pointed out and yes it does seem to fit alot better. Are there anymore lines that just don't seem to flow well? I would like to know what I may need to work on.

I would also like to know if I should split this chapter up a tad. As it is exactly fourteen pages. I was wondering if I should just post the prologue first then split the first chapter into 'part one' and 'part two' and kinda make it two chapters in one. You know so that I can expand my updating time and give myself more time to write the other chapters (which will be just as long)

I also want to know if this story is believible or at least if the characters are. Does it make sense? did I set it up right? If I continue it, does it give away to much of the plot all ready?

Does Hannah remain in character? Is it ok that I killed off Fluff in the first chapter? Is Adam believible even though he seems like a know it all?

I want to know what I might want tow ork on before I continue it...

Pinecone Tortoise
5th December 2005, 12:48 AM
Heya!

I like this! It's got a nice, realistic world laced with the hints of the surreal. Fluff killed off in the first chapter? Well, it's believable, but I liked the little guy! He just seemed so helpless... O_O But the description of the Persian as a cougar was great. I could really imagine this heavy, powerful kitty squatting down, ready to pounce.

Adam? Yah, he's believable. A bit like Robin Hood, if you ask me, what with the bow and arrows and such... but still alright.

I'm curious about the beast. At first I thought it was Celebi, but I'd be very surprised if a little critter like that could slaughter people. Kill them, sure, but not butcher, which seemed to be implied.

So great work and I'll look forward to seeing how this turns out!

Piney.
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