View Full Version : Make Me King ( Confessions of an Eleven Year-Old Trying to Rule the World)

The Red Butterfly
19th December 2005, 2:30 AM
Hey everybody!! I’m kinda in writers block with my 2 stories so I decided to post a third ( I know no very smart but I’ll keep up on all of them.) This is a non-pokemon story but I hope you like it anyway. The plot of the story is about an eleven year-old who wants to take over the world and is not very successful at it. He decided to write his steps leading to this in a journal! PLEASE ENJOY!!!!! PLUS, DON’T FORGET TO RATE MY STORY PLEASE! I NEED TO KNOW I CAN IMPROVE!!!!! THANX!!!!!

Dear Diary,
No, no that sounds to girlie. How about Dear Journal…..no, just as bad. I KNOW!!! Dear pieces of paper that will hold my sinister plots of mine which is TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!! Yes…..that sounds rather nice, it has a ring to it. Here is my personal info:
Name: Daniel Martin Jeffrey Murphy the 10th. Not to be confused with Daniel Martin Jeffery Murphy the 9th, 8th, 7th, 6th, 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd and 1rst.
Age: 11 and 3 quarters.
Birthday: Who the heck cares I’m the only one reading this (but for safety precautions March 23rd)
Hobbies: Not much because If I had any hobbies I’d be out enjoying them instead of writing in this diary…..I mean PIECES OF PAPER THAT HOLD THE SINISTER PLOTS OF MINE WHICH IS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!
Well then…..good bye!
Daniel Murphy

Day one of world ruleage
Dear pieces of paper that hold the sinister plots of mine which is to take over the world,
Today I took my first step in becoming a world ruler. You see as a ruler I should not have to do any work so….. I TOLD MY MOM SHE BETTER DO ALL MY CHORES AND WHEN SHE SAID NO I TOLD HER TO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! But then I got grounded so I bossed my sister’s fish around instead. Yes! It was so satisfying. I said swim and they SWAM..MWOOHAHAHAHAHHA..HA..ha so um yes back to my story then. I was busy telling off the fish when my sister walked in and to my utter surprise is shocked to see me. She said “What the heck are you doing here?” so I looked her straight in the eye and said what any world ruler would say, “Nothing…I’ll go now.” Then I ran out of there as fast as I could! Sometimes I shake my head thinking maybe it is my family members that would make the better ruler then I. Actually I only did it the one time, but still. So after the mother, sister and fish thing didn’t work I decided to come up with some more plans. “Why?” You ask. Well because what idiotic ruler rules his own family? I mean I’m pretty sure Hitler didn’t make his mom go to a concentration camp. Anyway, as I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself was I had new plans. (Here they are in reverse numerical order)
10.) Take over park
9.) Take over school
8.) Take over community
7.) Take over town
6.) Take over state (of Illinois, my home state)
5.) Take over 48 other states
4.) Take over the whole U.S.A
3.) Take over 2 countries
2.) Take over some more countries
1.) TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn’t it ingenious? Of course it is!!!!! Well I’m off to take over the local park YIPEE!!! ……..I mean MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Daniel Murphy!

Yami Ryu
19th December 2005, 3:10 AM
First of all, maybe the writers block was a sign from a higher power for you to actually put effort into writing.

The only way this barely erks out at the page limit, would be the 'introduction' of the character. Without that it's what, three paragraphs long. No wait, maybe two. With a handfull of scentences. So this is supposedly from the mind of an Eleven year old. What, a demented eleven year old? You should have actually tried to write it out and not make it in a diary format as not many people can pull it off, it's like first person or third person writing, each takes talent to pull off or acomplish. Or atleast a bit of effort. I best you wrote this up in the reply box, even though you most likely know it's against the rules. I also bet you actually don't want to improve, why? You haven't listened, evidently and most likely, to the advice given to you before. As it sure ain't showing up now.

General Blaze
19th December 2005, 3:47 AM
Sheesh Renegade, why are you determened to insult everyone who makes a stroy?

CeruleanWaterFlower, I really like this story. It has great potential. I just happen to be an author at Fanfiction.net, but my current story, Pikmin 3, Return to Earth, hasn't been updated lately because of a really bad case of writers block. Hope to see more of this!

21st December 2005, 11:43 AM
I agree with Renegade on some parts. It would have been better if it had seemed that you had put some time in it.

But, if you're trying to write from in a child's way(instead of you're way) then it wasn't so bad.

The Red Butterfly
21st December 2005, 11:47 PM
I am writing from a little kids point of view-i'm not eleven!!!