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Thread: The Blue-Blooded Battle-my own Contest episode. (Contestshipping) Rated-G

  1. #1
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    Default The Blue-Blooded Battle-my own Contest episode. (Contestshipping) Rated-G

    The Blue-Blooded Battle!

    It was a beautiful sunny day! The Pidgeys were chirping happily, the Goldeen were swimming, the Beedrill were... chasing a group of children?!
    That's right, a swarm of angry Beedrill were in hot pursuit of our 'heroes' Ash, Pikachu, Brock, May, and Max who were screaming their heads off in a wooded area.
    "Not again!" yelled Ash as he reminenced upon the last time he was attacked by Beedrill. Being the thick-skulled dunce he was, he was lucky to have even remembered the horrific occurence. Good times.
    "Somebody save us!!" May screamed at the top of her lungs. Right on cue, a brilliant beam shot right out of a random direction. The beam hit the Beedrill leading the swarm and it dropped like a fly, unable to battle. The swarm halted and looked down at their leader, then in the direction the beam was fired.
    Ash, Pikachu, Brock, May and Max had noticed this and they too, stopped to meet their savior. Out of the clearing, came a Roselia.
    "Roe! Roe, Ree!" the Roselia cried angrily at the Beedrill, trying to sound as intimidating as it could.
    Then, the Roselia's trainer stepped out of the clearing.
    "Drew?!" May exclaimed in disbelief. The others gasped in awe of the sudden presence of May's contest rivial.
    Drew seemed to be unaware of their existance. For he was too focused with the battle against a swarm of at least thirty Beedrill. The betta of the swarm, the second-in-command, came forward to challenge Roselia.
    "Beeeeeee! Zzzzzz, Beeee!" it said and it shot dozens of glowing barbs at Roselia.
    "Roselia, Petal Dance!" Drew commanded. Roselia released the sparkling oversized rose petals that collided with the Poison Sting barbs, "Petal Dance again!"
    The grass Poke'mon used its attack again. Whilst the rest of the swarm cowered and recieved the attack, the Beta held its needles in front of it and dive-bombed through the petals. The Beedrill inflicted a powerful Twin Needle upon Roselia.
    "Roooooo...!" Roselia cried out in pain as it crashed to the ground.
    "Roselia!" Drew cried out in worry.
    "Rrreee..." Roselia struggled to its feet, shook its head, and was ready to continue the battle, "Rose!"
    The rest of the swarm saw their friend's bravery and they shook off the petals to aid.
    "There's too many of them!" Brock exclaimed.
    "There's no way Roselia can beat em all!" added Max.
    Drew will find a way, May thought, He always does.
    "Come on, Drew! You can do it!" May cheered.
    Drew glanced towards May, "I appreciate it, May, but please be quiet. You're breaking my concetration."
    May felt anger rising, "Fine!" May crossed her arms and turned her back to Drew, "Hmph!"
    Drew turned his attention back to the battle and he scanned the surroundings and calculated how the battle would be won. The others looked at him with wonder, including May who glanced over her shoulder.
    Roselia looked back at Drew, "Roe?"
    Drew nodded at his adorable Poke'mon and smiled to confirm the battle plan. Roselia and Drew were together since early childhood. They had become so tight, they could almost tell what the other was thinking. Roselia looked into its trainer's eyes and knew exactly what to do.
    When the beta Beedrill rushed to attack Roselia again and with the rest of the swarm following up behind, Roselia used Sweet Scent. The Beedrill inhaled the plesant aroma and they became brainwashed. Roselia leaped at the lead Beedrill's head and pushed him back with its feet as it bounced off, halting him. The rest of the swarm crashed into their beta and became aquainted with the hard ground, confused and puzzled (confuzzled! ^^) with what just happened. They buzzed weakly at the same time. Then their leader, who had recovered from the Solarbeam, rose from the ground to avenge his fallen comrades. In his blind fury, he lunged at Roselia, determined to inflict pain. Lots and lots of pain. Mwahahahaha. Roselia sprang to a tree branch that bended back. When Roselia launched itself out of the Beedrill leader's reach, the branch came back and smacked him in the head. The lead Beedrill flew back from the impact and just when the swarm had the strength to rise from the earth, he crashed into them, sending them back in the dirt.
    "Rooooooooooo... Ree!" Roselia cried happily as he landed softly on his feet.
    "Good job, Roselia!" Drew praised his Poke'mon.
    There was an uproar of cheering from the others as every last Beedrill fled.
    "That was awesome!" said Ash.
    "Yeah." agreed Brock.
    "Hm." May and Max nodded.
    "Pikachu."
    Drew smirked and flipped his hair, "It was nothing."
    "Yeah, right." May muttered. Then she questioned the reason of Drew's appearence, "So what are you doing here, Drew?"
    "I'm going to be attending the Contest in Celedon City." Drew replied, arms crossed and eyes closed.
    "There's a Contest in Celedon City?" May asked in surprise.
    "I shoud've thought you didn't know about it," Drew sneared, "After all, only the best Coordinators knew about it."
    May was fuming and Drew opened his eyes to look at her angry expression.
    "I... uh... you...." May hesitated and searched her mind for something to say, "Of course I knew about the Contest in Celedon City." May mentally sighed in relief.
    Max cocked his brow, "You did?"
    "Then how come you didn't say anything about it?" Ash asked in confusion.
    May sweat dropped as Drew s******ed.
    "Nevermind! Let's get going." May turned into a random direction, instantly bumping into a tree.
    "Celedon City is in the other direction." Drew declared as he withdrew Roselia into its Poke'ball and wandered into the clearing.

    With half an hour of wandering through the woods, the four children and Pikachu entered Celedon City, home of the Gym of nature lovers, eating contests, and more.
    "I'm so excited!" May chirped happily, "I can't wait till the next Contest!"
    "Chill out, May." Max interupted May's happy moment, "We still need to check out a room at the Poke'mon Center."
    Ash paid no heed. He stared off at the brick pathway that he suddenly became facinated with.
    "Yes! Let's go! I'm coming, Nurse Joy!" Brock practically flew through the doors of the Poke'mon Center he spotted. May and Max ran after him, hoping that it wasn't too late to rescue poor Nurse Joy.
    "Pi, Pika-Pi!" Pikachu said to Ash.
    "Huh?" Ash snapped out of his facination with the brick path and ran to the Poke'mon Center with Pikachu at his heels.
    Of course, Brock with hearts in his eyes, was attempting to woo Nurse Joy only to be painfully lead away when Max pulled on his ear.
    Ash approached the counter, "We want to check out a room, please."
    Nurse Joy's expression fell, "I'm sorry, but we're all full."
    "Awwwwww..." the children groaned.
    "But there is a hotel right next to the Poke'mon Center!" Nurse Joy suddenly chirped joyfully.

    May opened the double doors of the hotel and they gasped in awe.
    "It's so pretty!" May's eyes glazed.
    "Pika!" Pikachu agreed.
    "This is so cool!" Max said as he gazed at the surroundings.
    The hotel was more like a resort. It was a tall building with many rooms from regular rooms to suites to high luxury penthouses. There was an elevator with lights on its corners from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. Small fountains sat in every corner where a few Poke'mon playfully splashed.
    "Out of my way!" came a loud voice from a young girl no older than ten years. She roughly pushed May out of her path and continued on her way to the counter with a shiny Raticate following her. May scrambled to her feet and glared at the girl who had shoved her.
    "How rude!" May stormed after the young girl. She was a blonde with cold blue eyes and wore a red sweatshirt with a black skirt and black dress shoes with long white stockings. Her outfit was perfectly spotless and free of the slightest wrinkles.
    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A FREE PENTHOUSE?!?" the girl bellowed at the poor person behind the counter.
    "I-I-I'm sorry, young lady. But the last penthouse was booked just this morning." he replied in a frightened tone.
    "So they were too lazy to come here and check it out themselves?!" she yelled ba
    Last edited by White Pony; 10th January 2006 at 12:00 AM.

  2. #2
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    Alright, even though I'm an AdvanceShipper, I think I better reveiw this:

    1) Their's no discreption. What if we don't know what is Beedril is? How do the characters look like? Try adding some more description, and your fic will improve by a lot!

    2) Always double-space a paragraph everytime a character talks. It makes it much eaiser to read...XD

    3) I noticed you put a '^^' in parathesies; that's not really allowed in fics. Actually, all emoctions are not allowed in fics, including: ^_^, -_-, >.>, <.<, and a the others

    4) Try using Microsoft to write up your chapters. It's recomended you don't write out your chapters in the reply box. By using Microsoft, you can write it out you chapter little-by-little, so you can make it as long as you want, adding all your details, but not all at once

    Anwayz, for the chap, it was pretty good. Fun to read! ^_^;;

    Also, a nifty tip:

    if you press "alt 0233", the numbers on the right of your keyboard, you can make the 'e' to an '&#233;', so you don't have to do it by e' ^^;;
    Last edited by Meganium Ex; 19th January 2006 at 10:35 PM.

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