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Thread: May it be- a try at Minamoshipping!

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    Default May it be- a try at Minamoshipping!

    Sometimes love isn’t always there the FIRST time you look

    This fic is rated PG-PG 13 it may contain mild sexual references or swears.

    Ever since I saw the idea of it in Cybercubed’s sig I’ve been totally intrigued by it, and thought it was a great idea. This story follows May returning to Lilycove as it is her last hope to enter a contest before the Grand Festival in Kanto. She is able to stay at Kelly’s house and as the contest begins, their feelings for each other grow. Though it is only probably thirteen chapters, and no matter how little posts it gets (just as long as there’s no triple posting) I’ll keep on writing it. SO ENOUGH WITH THE CHI-TCHAT AND ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

    Chapter one banner -
    Chapter two banner -
    Chapter three banner-
    Chapter four banner-

    “May it be,” Chapter one: Journey to Lilycove

    It was a warm and sunny day in the Hoenn region and in a sun battered meadow, a large train pulled into a train station letting its horn sound. As the doors of the train opened, floods of people walked out going separate ways and causing a cloud of chatter. One girl in particular stood at the train station and sighed. None other than are favorite gal pal, May from Petalburg city. The distress girl searched for a sign and found on pointing out “Lilycove city, 50 kilometers>”. “Humph.” May grunted “You’d think they’d have a train station like this in Lilycove city.

    May began to venture out of the station and along a dusty brick path through the plains. As she began to walk thoughts of her reason for being here entered her mind. ‘May. We don’t have any more time for you on this Journey. If you want to go find another contest in time you should go to Lilycove, that’s the only one yet to hold a contest before the Grand Festival. Also you shouldn’t f lost so much. Geez. Well were throwing you on this train so Bye’. The voices of a thoughtful Ash and Brock and a Snickering Max caused her to sigh again.

    “Well, they weren’t all wrong. This could be an opportunity to extend and train my Pokémon,” May thought. “Anything if it means I’ll be to top co-coordinator!” She exclaimed accidentally stepping on a caterpie. “Ewwww not now!” She screamed. As he journey continued the sights go less interesting and the furry of the sun took its toll on May. Fortunately, May was passing by a luscious row of trees and to a lay down under one. Panting, May took out a pokéball and released her squirtle. The baby turtle Pokémon let out a cute cry and smiled. “Squirtle could you please cool me off with water gun?” May asked. Squirtle nodded and blasted out a cooling Jet on May’s face. As the jet subsided, May wiped her face in refreshment. “Thanks squirtle. Remind me that I owe you!” She exclaimed, recalling squirtle into its ball as it smiled once more.

    Meanwhile in Lilycove city,

    Kelly wore her casual outfit with her favorite pink ribbon despite having her hands mould around a bowl of mashed up berries. With pushes and turns, the berries wound up in a purple custard-like state. “There, now just a few more little touches.” Kelly announced. Her partner in crime, grumpig sat on the floor and watched in awe. Kelly sprinkled on a pinch of Pokémon food and poured the mixture slowly into a metal holder. The batter rolled in like sludge and then was put in the oven. After gently closing door, Kelly sighed to see that she was covered practically from head to toe in flour and the pokéblock mixture. “I guess I need a bath, but first in need a lay down and…”She said collapsing on the floor. As grumpig crawled up to investigate her. He jumped back at the sound of her eeriee snore.

    In the plains near Lilycove, May had come up with the “Excellent (or unique)” idea of hitching a ride on a swellow in turn for giving it her lunch. “IT’S TIME FOR MORE OF MAY’S EXPEDITIONS!” May shouted pretending to act like a cameraman and reporter. “Today, May and Her crew travel to Lilycove city on a swellow! You heard it right viewers and you get to see it here today! Also were will May stay to train find out! And now, a word from our sponsors.” May sat back smiling but then a disturbing thought struck her. “O By were can I train and stay before the contest, Brock would know but it’s partially his fault I’m here,” She said turning enraged. After another ten minutes On Swellow flight, May had a bird’s eye view of the luxuries city, and was lowered down. As she jumped out Swellow, she landed roughly on the grass and caused a large bumping sound. May leaned back on a near by tree and looked around. “There’s got to be somewhere I can Stay,”

    As the Day continued as her four Pokémon munched delightfully on their lunch. “At least you get to enjoy your lunch,” May said remembering her little flying escapade. She walked up to a nearby path and stood there. Then all of a sudden, She turned to see an elderly woman tripping over a phanpy. The distress phanpy ran around, which meant to woman would fall over and drop all the groceries she was holding. “Pokémon Get over here,” May called. Her pokémon took immediate alert and dashed over to her. “Squirtle Get Phanpy out of the way, Combusken make sure the lady doesn’t fall. Munchlax catch the groceries and eevee ummm, you help munchlax I guess.” She commanded. Her Pokemon leaped into action except for eeeve who smiled and trotted over. Despite that, May’s plan Worked. Squirtle and Phanpy moved out of the way while combusken did it’s job. Munchlax collected the two bags of groceries while eevee dragged over another bag with it’s mouth.

    With that, phanpy walked away as the Woman regained her footing. “O thank you so much,” She cried “Any person could have easily ignored me but you pulled out all the stops just for one person.” May smiled back at the lady as she walked away, holding on tight to her groceries.

    May turned around and giggled “Well viewers, May’s got a lot going for her eh? Stay tuned Until Next Time for May’s Expeditions” She said happily. She turned again were her Pokémon approached her. “You guys all did great!” Just after May finished that sentence, something hit here. Remembering saving a lady dropping some grociers reminded her of how she met Kelly. “That’s It! I’ll go to Kelly’s house!” She exclaimed.

    While My searched for Kelly’s home. Inside Kelly’s house, Kelly pulled a shower curtain stretching around her bath and turned on the shower. Grumpig was in the room but looking at the mirror as it became covered in vapor. May had now entered the house and searched from door to door of the house until she opened the bathroom one. Grumpig was head first looking through Kelly’s cupboard so it didn’t notice. “Hello, anybody home?” May called out.

    Kelly obliviously pulled back some of the curtain. “How is it?” She asked as the girls both realized what was going on. After five seconds of fearful gasping they both let out giant and led screams. May turned her head and Kelly hid behind the curtain again. Grumpig out of shock leaped out of the cupboard and screamed too.

    “I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry,” May repeated over and over again. Kelly covered up with a towel and continued to shuffle out of the way.

    “May is back,” She said very softly with a big blush and a cheeky smile as well. With the towel now wrapped around her, Kelly turned off the shower and stepped out. “What are you doing back here?” She said still blushing.

    “Well Maybe I should explain over a late lunch, with clothes?” May Joked. Kelly nodded in agreement. “Okay then,” May announced “At least I now were to kitchen is how could I forget the fun we had in there!” she finished leaving the bathroom.

    Kelly smiled “How could I forget May,” She said to herself. Later on that day, May and Kelly sat and ate around the kitchen, nodding, laughing and chattering. “So the elderly woman drama reminded you of me?” Kelly asked.

    “Yes. But now the lilycove contest is my last chance to win a contest before the Kanto Grand Festival.” May replied. “So I’ll train for a while, and I also figured you’re excellent Pokéblock making skills could make me a great recipe for my Pokémon.”

    “O sure thing May!” Kelly said. “And I’ve got some interesting news too!” She continued pulling out a ribbon case. “Since you’ve been gone I’ve taken my contest battles up a notch.” As she opened the Case, she revealed five whole ribbons in the case!

    May jumped back in shock “O wow! I can’t believe you managed to do that!” May said in joy. “But I guess this means you won’t be going in the contest,” Kelly looked at May and it hit her.

    ‘This is the perfect time to put a plan together to ask May if.’ Kelly began to think. “But May, Hold on A second here. Just because I have five ribbons doesn’t mean I can’t try to get another one for the sake of it!” Kelly exclaimed.

    The two girls both looked happy. “O this will be so Much fun!” We could even battle Again imagine that!” May exclaimed clapping her hands. “Infact for the sake of training we should have a battle now!” Kelly looked a bit uneasy “Come on for old times sake we may not get to battle each other if you enter the contest,” May pleaded.

    Kelly stretched a little “Okay then, for old time’s sake and look before you go I have to tell you,” She said before being interrupted by May jumping out of her seat.

    “Okay come on then it’ll be soooo much fun!” May cried running around happily to the door. “O yeah and Kelly, were are your parents, I’ve never seen them, do they live here?”

    “That’s the thing,” Kelly replied. “I’ll tell you what my parents did if one you can beat me and two…………………if you actually can beat me!” Kelly exclaimed looking pepped up for a match. Kelly opened the door and rushed out. “Come on then, you were the one so excited! I’ll even show you my new Pokémon” Kelly continued to run around laughing and smiling. May nodded and began to laugh and run along with her. As the two girls ran alongside each other and laughed. Kelly stared blankly at May’s face and blushed.
    Last edited by Wind Waker; 4th February 2006 at 10:48 PM.
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

  2. #2
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    wow this is the first fic that has a joke ship (it is still good though^^

  3. #3
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    Hooray for you! do you think i should add some comedy?
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

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    Yeah I love comedy...but you made ash sound mean

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    Kay every one (literally one) chapter two is nearly ready, should be done by Wednesday.
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

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    Hooray for reviews! I'm adding anew feature to the first page, were i put the banners i have used in my sig for the chapters.

    Okay here it is,

    Chapter two: “The secret life of Kelly”

    Kelly and May were standing a fair distance away from each other and looking eager. May had a panting Eevee infront of her whilst Kelly had a weary looking Sunflora infront of her. “Sunflora razor leaf attack!” Kelly ordered. Her joyous pokémon released a barrage of sharp edged leaves heading towards Eevee.

    Eevee patiently waited for May’s orders. “Eevee, use tackle attack and rush past some of the leaves!” May called out. Eevee began to rush forward running from right to left to dodge some leaves, getting cut by some, but still able to keep on running. Eevee then leaped into the air and slammed into Sunflora, landing close to May while Sunflora scurried around losing it’s footing.

    “Sunflora hold up buddy!” Kelly cried. The call of its trainer made Sunflora regain its footing and look more serious. “Now Sunflora, make a razor leaf cyclone around Eevee!” In a Very contest style move, the cutting leaves surrounded Eevee and each one cut it successfully. After the attack subsided, Eevee collapsed on the ground. “Prepare to see something like that in the contest!” Kelly said with a hint of gloat.

    May took out Eevee’s Pokéball and sent it back in. “Eevee, congratulations,” She said softly. May walked up to Kelly and Sunflora “Good Job you two. Kelly you sure are talented!” She exclaimed. May’s kind words made Kelly blush again.

    “Thanks May, even though you lost I can feel I can talk about my deepest deals with you.” Kelly said. “Come on then back to our house and we can talk, about…stuff,”

    Later on that Day May and Kelly began their chat on a small two-person table, sipping tea and enjoying them. “So Kelly, what is going on with your parents? I’d really like to know.” May said. Kelly sighed and began to look a little sad. “Just blurt it out already,” May continued in high expectation. Kelly gulped over and over again trying to just say it.

    Soon tears began to appear in her eyes and then she blurted it all out in one big breath. “My Parents paid to keep me alone in this house because they didn’t like it when I discovered that I was………………………A………………….Lesbian May I found out I was a lesbian and they hated me for it. They said things like a was delusional. But all my life I’ve hung out with girls and grown to be more attracted towards them. Happy?” She yelled bursting out into a flood of tears.

    May gasped, and sat back “Well Kelly there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re a kind and talented girl; most people will look past your, well preference. Me I like you just the way you are!” She exclaimed reassuringly. That’s when Kelly asked the life-changing question.

    “As friends or more than that?” Kelly asked.

    May struggled to answer the question. “I mean as friends but not just friends but not too serious. No serious but not serious serious. I mean, Not but the point is, Wait NO, URGH!” May said rubbing her head in confusion. “I Don’t know Kelly. And I’m not sure if I want to Know.” She concluded sadly.

    Kelly stood up and began to leave to room. “Tell you what. You win this contest and I will kiss you.” She said exiting the room entirely.

    “But I Don’t really want to Kiss you, but I want to win the contest, or I don’t Know why must she confuse me. We were friends, and know it’s all changed I Still want to act like friends with her but I Don’t know were to go from here,” May cried to herself. “Well there’s no point getting worried and wrinkles won’t go over well in a contest!” She joked to herself.

    The next day:

    As The sun Showered the City with bright rays, a cheer erupted from the Lilycove contest hall. As the audience of the Hall screamed and Caused Mexican waves, Vivian dashed onto the field and danced up to the Microphone. As She began her usual speech, the coordinators waited around in the locker room, feeding their pokémon and having a sit down. May sat down on a bench with her pokémon. “I wonder were Kelly is, she dashed out in the morning before I even woke up!” She worried. Then May located Kelly wandering around in the room and clenching her stomach. May dashed up to her with a worried look “Kelly are you alright?” She asked.

    “Yeah I’m alright May, I just got a really bad stomach ache so I peaked in to get some medicine before the contest.” Kelly explained. “But Don’t worry though I’m alright to enter the Contest.”. May nodded and headed off without saying anything else. “OH poopies I Really must of got her bad!” Kelly stated. After a couple of fantastic or floppy performances, it was Kelly’s turn to perform. Kelly approached the platform and stood firmly. Meanwhile, May pondered on what to do when Kelly finished. Moving on with their lives was a no-no and slapping her would be too good to be true. Maybe talking to her was the key, corny yes but May knew that was her only option.

    Kelly elegantly spun around on the stage and sent out her performer, Sunflora. The pokémon made its opening pose and prepared for its show. “Sunflora, create a vortex of razor leaves!” Kelly commanded in a beautiful manner. Sunflora, spun and released a series of razor leaves attacks and created a vortex, similar to what it had done to eevee. As the vortex grew bigger, the audience began to look more impressed. Then, suddenly the vortex burst and all the leaves flew around the stage like a flock of birds and left the audience and the judges amazed. A large roar of the audience sounded as Sunflora and Kelly wrapped up their performance and bowed. May was watching in awe as well with a sudden smile on her face.

    Kelly happily entered the waiting room to find May ‘waiting’ for her. May approached Kelly with a serious attitude. “Kelly, The Past day has been REALLY confusing, and I think we can both agree on that. So I just want to know if your old party-loving self would come back. Then things could be as fun as they were when we first met, doing episodes of May’s expeditions together. Making Pokéblock you know the drill. How does it sound?”

    Kelly looked at May and smiled “I’d Like that, I’d like that very much. But with one exception, don’t make Pokéblock the way you used to. It sucked!” Kelly responded. The two girls giggled in delight. Then it was announced that May’s turn was next. Without saying a word May sped out to the Performance area. Kelly smiled “Go get ém, dare I say it……..go get em tiger,”.

    May too elegantly pranced around and sent out combusken for the appealing round. May sighed and tried to get in the zone. It took her a while. The audience, Vivian and the judges what was going on. May’s legs were shaking. She took one deep breath and looked at Kelly. For a strange reason, she felt immediately able to start her performance. “Okay combusken use ember then sky uppercut!” She said finally in the zone. Combusken burst out the ember attack and leaped into the air, cutting the embers to make them burst like miniature fireworks. Though the judges had a ‘seen that before’ look on their faces. But may had more planned. “Fire spin!” May called. On landing combusken used its attack on the ember, this made the fireworks glow and flash rapidly until it burst into more and more flashing fireworks and had everybody stunned in pure amazement. It truly was a stunning display, not for those with epilepsy though. The judges had glowing smiles on the face and gave her a thirty score. Even as May entered the waiting room, there was screaming and celebrating going on. But not for the reason May think.

    Kelly approached May with a great smile. “Okay first of all, great job. Second of all, you know how you wanted my old self-back? Well I sorta decided to throw a huge party in front of my house after the contest!” Kelly exclaimed. May looked excited yet uneasy. “Cool huh?!” May tried to nodded but she was shaking a little.

    May walked around the room and tried to celebrate with the happy people. Then everyone heard the sound of Vivian’s voice. “Okay everyone, we’ve seen some nice stuff today but now it is time to draw our final four to compete for the beautiful Lilycove ribbon. So let’s start the shuffling. All the contestants shot their gazes directly at the board were the final four’s photos were revealed. Anticipation and anxiety were dominant in the room. “Okay first up is May, an obvious choice!” Vivian began. May and Kelly looked at each other delighted by this. “Okay next is, Keith from Verdanturf! Now it’s Brett from Mossdeep!” suddenly something shocking waved over Kelly and May. It became obvious that the two would need to truly pray that Kelly would get in. May remembered feeling this tense before, a lot of times before. It didn’t feel good.

    “I’ll be okay,” Kelly whispered gently in May’s ear.

    But will Kelly be Okay. Can she get in to the finals? This supposedly joyous occasion might just turn sour. Find out the conclusion next!
    Last edited by Wind Waker; 31st January 2006 at 3:41 AM.
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

  7. #7
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    Meh,i'll post another chappie because i love this fic too much!


    Chapter three “A series of fortunate events”

    The tension continues to rise as May and Kelly wait in fear to see whether or not Kelly made it into the final four of the Lilycove contest. The two girls were shaking and the fifteen seconds felt like fifteen years. But then, Kelly’s photo appeared on the screen! The two friends cheered in delight and hugged. “Now time to draw for the battles!” Vivian said as the four photos began to mix around. The setting was shown to be May vs Brett then Kelly vs Keith.

    “What a relief! Were not battling each other yet!” May exclaimed. Kelly nodded and blushed a little. After a brief intermission May prepared her self for the battling stage. As she shrugged her shoulders and fed her pokémon, her opponent Brett passed by and signaled a ‘see you at the arena’ look. May took a deep breath and stood up. “Okay then let’s do this thang!” she shouted.

    Soon it was time for her match. As may walk to her place she looked around at the audience, the gazing judges and the large monitor. She felt overwhelmed like she did in most of her contests. As she stood on one side of the battlefield, she found herself staring directly and Brett purely by accident and his stare was intimidating. As she regained posture, a large bell rang to signal the battle. “Go Squirtle!” May yelled, throwing her Pokéball. Her pokémon made a cute pose and cry.

    “Go Linoone!” Brett said revealing his pokémon who too posed ready to fight. “Okay Linoone use headbutt!” Brett Commanded. Linoone began to dash towards Squirtle with streams of energy passing around its head.

    May shook a little bit “Squirtle withdraw!” May ordered. Squirtle jumped into its shell and the headbutt attack bounced off. Squirtle bounced out of its shell happily with no damage done. “Squirtle now use ice beam!” She called. Squirtle blasted out the icy ray and it hit Linoone dead on. May’s attention turned towards the monitor were Linoone’s points had lowered by about 20%. “Good job now use ice beam again!” everyone seemed a little confused when Squirtle fired the attack again.

    “Linoone counter attack!” Brett commanded. Linoone outlined itself in a brown glow and the ice beam attack bounced back and hit Squirtle in the dead center. Now Squirtle lost some of its points too. May gasped and Kelly began to look worried. The ball was in Brett’s court now. Brett began to smirk “Linoone take advantage of this and use headbutt to tip it over! May looked in shock, as Linoone knocked over Squirtle on its back and chipped away at her points and the clock wasn’t getting slower any time soon.

    Squirtle squirmed and squealed helplessly on its back. “Squirtle you have to get up please!” May pleaded desperately. Squirtle continued to squirm and tried its hardest to get back up. A sudden burst of power pushed Squirtle back on its feet and suddenly it began to glow! Suddenly everybody looked shock as the glowing pokémon began to change shape. When the light subsided, Wartortle was born! May’s face lit up in delight “Wartortle, O geez I’m so happy!” She said Happily.

    Vivian interrupted for a second to make a comment. “Well folks May has been really lucky lately. First a thirty score now an evolution!” The audience agreed and began to cheer. But the show must go on, Wartortle and Linoone then began to charge at each other.

    “Squir.. Wartortle use water gun and then ice beam to make a barrier!” May ordered. Squirtle followed its order and created a stunningly beautiful barrier than Linoone smashed into. May felt new confidence with a newly evolved pokémon and felt like she could win it.

    “May try out some new attacks!” Kelly called out from the waiting room. May took in the advice and thought of attacks Wartortle might be able to use.

    “Mega punch!” May said unsurely. Surprisingly, Warortle’s hand lit up and burst trough the barrier smacking Linoone hard. May was overjoyed by her new power. She even took five seconds to wave to the audience. Big mistake. When she turned back the Linoone was nowhere to be seen. “Oooo damn.” May whispered. She turned to Kelly who looked frightened and then back to the field were Brett was smirking. May began to panic as Linoone appeared from under the ground and bashed Wartortle. May began to loose points as well one more attack and she too could be on Linoone’s level. Linoone buried into the ground again and May closed her eyes fearfully, when all of a sudden “HOOOOOONK!” the buzzer sound signaling the end of five minutes, and May had held on long enough to win. The audience began to cheer again as May was announced to winner of the match. May sighed, “Maybe I am having a lucky day,”

    “Maybe she is having a lucky day,” Kelly said in the waiting rooms.

    “Well folks maybe May is having a lucky day!” Vivian announced. “So if May and Brett could please exit the stage and now we’ll have Kelly and Keith on the stage to battle!”. While May entered the waiting room Kelly left, both making faces that read “Good job, good luck,” Well at least as far as face talk goes.

    May and Wartortle sat down on a bench and stretched their arms and legs “Well that’s one battle down,” May said in relief. Wartortle nodded looking a bit worn out. “How about you take a rest,” She said sending Wartortle back in its Pokéball. Then suddenly Brett approached her with an angry face.

    “You destroyed my dreams of becoming a coordinator!” Brett yelled in distress “I Don’t take loosing to well seing how I too have four ribbons, lets just say May’s expeditions is on the verge of getting axed!” He finished storming off an out of the room. May leaned back a little disturbed. Just a little.

    Meanwhile Kelly’s match was heating up. Kelly was using Grumpig and Keith was using a Golduck, and their confusion attacks were clashing. Kelly anticipated a big explosion and thought of how to use it but nothing happened. Kelly turned to the board to realize her points were doing down faster. “Grumpig get ready to use bounce,” Kelly whispered gently without anybody else hearing. Grumpig placed its tail on the ground and began to sink. Then quickly it leaped up extremely high into the air, as Golduck’s psychic attack assed by and hit the wall. Grumpig began to descend at a rapid rate. Grumpig slammed into Golduck at a hundred miles per hour. Grumpig then bounced back ready to fight again. Golduck managed to remain standing as well.

    “Golduck hydro pump attack!” Keith called out vigorously. Golduck opened its mouth and fired the lethal jet of water.

    “Grumpig psychic attack on the water!” Kelly ordered. Grumpig focused its mind on the water and began to stop it with psychic. Grumpig began to shake and yell as it managed to bend the hydro pump so it was facing Golduck and then shot Golduck’s attack back at him. Keith gasped and the audience looked stunned. The five-minute buzzer rang declaring Kelly as the winner. Unlike May and Brett’s match, Kelly and Keith shook hands as they entered the waiting room were everyone watched May getting paired up against Kelly. “Once again, I’ll see you in the finals!” Kelly said to May.

    May nodded and turned around “and if I win she has to kiss me” May said shivering. May began to stretch clenching Wartortle’s pokéball “Okay let’s do it, no matter what!” She pep talked to herself.

    ‘Well like we say some time ago May will be facing off against Kelly in the finals! Will it be de ja vu in the battle field or will Kelly have a stunning six ribbons more than enough the get into the grand festival.!” Vivian said. The audience also looked anticipated to watch the outcome. May looked around to see that Kelly was already walking onto the arena so May Dashed on as well. Anticipating and nervous viewers sipped their slushies and chewed their popcorn slowly not missing a beat of what was going on.

    In a strategic move, May tried not to remind Kelly of their Deal but some how, good or bad May realized Kelly knew. “Umm Let’s have fun!” May said in a cliché manner trying to sound appealing to the audience. Were as Kelly wasn’t too worried about these things.

    “Okay” Kelly said blandly.

    Find out the conclusion!
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

  8. #8
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    apologies, just so excited about the next chapter, expect to see another banner in my siggy soon!
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

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    Adios Mios! Duo Chickas!

    Ahem....now then. For future people reading this, I leave the following recomendation. HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! Other then that, this is very nicely written. Some grammer issues of course, but nothing is without them. On the whole, the story seemes decent, though I do hope there will be as much character development as there will be...eh...*berm chicka ber wer*

    You should most likely rate this fic, considering the content it would be around teen or NC-17, depending on where you choose to take the relationship.
    Zepther is not a perfect city, filled with crime and evil. Through its dark alleys and narrows streets, a silent watcher protects the people, calling forth the darkness of metal to defend them. Cloaked in black, shrouded in the mysteries of his past, his cold heart is true as steel. His name is Chronos. He is the Dark Eye.
    The legacy begins...

  10. #10
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    true Power shot^^ you do need a rating....and that is pretty bad spanich Senior Power Shot^^ No Hablo Espanol! Si, Chioks Power Shot No, no hablas Espanol....Tee hee *goes to the Banyo*

  11. #11
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    Yep just rated it!

    and for future readers DO NOT BE ALRMED BY THE TRIPLE POST!!

    it was originally a double post but for some reason cyberchu deleted his post or his post was deleted.


    So i hope everything is cleared up and finally thanks for your adivce after eveyr paragraph i finish i try to find places were i could do better!
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

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    It's alright. The mods can see that. Don't worry. The reviewer's posts have been deleted coz they were breaking the rules for reviewing fics. That's all.

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    That's a relief! but because of school chapter four may take a couple more days.

    and here it is!

    “Chapter four, a showdown to remember”

    There was silence all around and then the buzzer to begin the final match broke the silence. “Go Wartortle!” May called out sending her recently toughened-up pokémon out onto the arena.

    “Go Grumpig!” Kelly said, releasing her pokémon. “Grumpig bounce!” She then ordered. Grumpig leaped into the air and began to fall towards Wartortle.

    May blocked out the face of Kelly and focused on the battle “Wartortle use water pulse to blast Grumpig out of the way!” Wartortle shot out its attack and began to slow Grumpig down, eventually tossing it onto the arena infront of Kelly. “Now use ice beam!”

    Wartortle then used its ice beam and growled as the attack traveled towards Grumpig. “Redirect it with Psychic!” Kelly said happily. “Good luck May!” She then said sweetly distracting May from the battle. As she quickly turned back, the ice beam was charging right towards Wartortle. Luckily Wartortle leaped to its side getting hit slightly and landing belly first on the ground.

    May turned to the monitor, there was three and a half minutes left. “Water pulse Wartortle!” She called.

    “Redirect that as well!” Kelly said taunting May with her hand gestures. Grumpig began to move the attack when May realized that Grumpig could redirect anything she threw at it.

    “Quickly Wartortle freeze it and then use mega punch to throw it at Grumpig!” May commanded, being reminded of all the Wacky plans she and Ash used to come up with. Wartortle swiftly froze the Wartortle and in a second punched the ice slamming it into Grumpig. The audience were dazzled by May’s ploy but Kelly wasn’t ready to give up. Kiss or no Kiss. Ribbon or no Ribbon. Wartortle and Grumpig charged at each other and began to throw out hard punches in a climatic fight. The fistfight soon ended and both pokémon stood firmly infront of their trainers. Kelly was ready to pull out all the stops and open a can of whoop on May.

    “Hold Wartortle down with Psychic then quickly use bounce!” Kelly said looking quite determined. Grumpig blasted a powerful psychic wave over Wartortle and then repeated its bounce attack. Wartortle looked to face Grumpig But could Barley move. It couldn’t even charge an attack.

    “There has to be another option!” May worried trying to think of another plan. One that didn’t require much energy but just might be crazy enough to work. Turning to the board again with less than a minute left May had an advantage by a small percentage, but it might not be enough to save her this time. Soon she felt more determined then ever to win “Bite Grumpig’s tail before it strikes!” May said hoping this crazy plot would work. Wartortle chomped Grumpig’s tail, making the pig squeal. The two pokémon then both fell onto the ground. The audience and judges leaned forward as the two pokémon made a shaky stand back up. Then the buzzer rang and everybody immediately fired their eyes at the monitor to see who won.

    “And the winner is…. MAY FROM PETALBURG!” Vivian announced as the audience began to cheer wildly. May looked around in amazement and hugged Wartortle. Kelly walked up to Grumpig and pet it, not looking too sad.

    Kelly then approached May with a smile. “You did it again May. Congrats. But I’ll be training hard and follow you to that Grand Festival in Kanto. Then, I’ll finally beat you!” She said walking back into the waiting room.

    May looked a little confused. “Kelly, Wait! What about, the kiss?” May said admitting to a deal.

    Kelly turned around with a smirk “Oh that kiss? Nah I’m not going to kiss you after all, it’s not like you wanted it anyway!” She said and began to head off again. May looked strange, was Kelly trying to Taunt her or leave her wanting. May rubbed her head and sighed, also beginning to walk to the waiting room.

    “Well folks today we get to see two of our top coordinators battle it out. And that’s a showdown to remember! But the best thing is they can both qualify for the Grand Festival coming up in Kanto! So say hi to Lillian for me!” Vivian said as her final statement before the contest hall began to clear out.

    May stood in the waiting room doorway and looked relief “and a showdown I could never forget,” May said. It was then May realized she was expecting or wanting that kiss, she couldn’t decide but she knew her life was changing. But now she had to go back to Kelly’s place and head back to Kanto as soon as possible.

    That evening as May neared Kelly’s house she heard loud music and then saw dancing. Kelly had actually thrown a party. “I’ve got to give it to her,” May admitted as she saw Kelly running towards her. But Kelly was dressed like a rocking chic and had a ponytail. Dressed like she was going to party all night. “Kelly You’re actually throwing a party that’s so cool!” May said, as Kelly got closer.

    “Well I wanted to live up to a deal!” Kelly exclaimed. “And there’s another deal I need to live up to,” Kelly finished giving May a five second kiss that surprised the CRAP out of her. Kelly laughed hysterically “HAHAHAHA got ya!” She said about to return to the party. May giggled a bit to still surprised, but then May realized that she was indeed in love. She wouldn’t admit to it, because she was determined to make the Grand Festival Her preference. So May avoided the Party and headed back into Kelly’s house. Though May did admit to herself, Kelly got her good.

    Throughout the rest of the night May had dinner and watched telly to the screeching sounds of ‘Wooohoos’ and peeping at the horrid outcomes of spin the bottle. But May wanted Kelly to enjoy herself and didn’t complain, even when party crazed lunatics used their toilet ………..and missed………………….horribly. May’s Pokémon walked around with left over dinner and snacks chatting, and when May saw them she felt even more excited about the Grand festival and had an idea.

    Later that night May was on the T.V phone to Her Parents at The Petalburg gym. The couple were delighted to have a chat with their daughter again. “and so I blasted the living daylights out of Grumpig again and won the ribbon! Bt now for the grand festival I was wondering if I could have Skitty and Beautifly come up for an appeal or battle,” May suggested.

    Caroline and Norman’s face lit up as Beautifly and Skitty pounced and flew joyfully up to the screen and started to smile, May giggled and smiled back at them. “Sure May, Heck we may be able to stop by too, I could spread my title in Kanto too!” Norman exclaimed.

    “Anything for the glory!” Caroline added on to Norman’s exclamation. “Well til then!”

    “Bye,” May said finishing both their sentences as the screen blacked out. “I love them,” May sighed soon accompanied by the rose smiles and hugs of her Pokémon. May leaned down and pet each of them. “Guys get to sleep, otherwise the party might keep you up forever.

    That night May dreamt about Kelly in the contest. Golduck was making ice sculptures as Grumpig was running as they smashed all over the place. Golduck ran up to Grumpig and slashed it. Kelly gasped in fear but then turned to May and they both stared blankly into each other. Suddenly, the room as dark and May and Kelly were just standing alone next to each other. Then and they’re they kissed. Suddenly She was watching the battle again and Golduck was nocked out. May shot out of her bed after the dream, she knew she really liked Kelly then. May turned to the clock and it was 2am. May sighed gently when she saw Kelly sleeping on the floor with the pokémon and the two filled ribbon cases.

    “I think she wanted me to kiss her all along, she just tried to leave me wanting, and at the end of the battle, she went easier on me!” May realized in deep shock. “May it be then, We’ll find out who really won IN THE GRAND FESTIVAL!” May exclaimed going back to sleep again.
    Last edited by Wind Waker; 14th February 2006 at 8:02 PM.
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

  14. #14
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    pretty good chapter....keep up the length though^^

  15. #15
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    Well...that was definately interesting, but unfortunately I did not think it lived up to its potential. A lesson I learned a while ago is that a first kiss between two characters is very important, and should not be taken as lightly as you did.

    You seemed anxious to go through this chapter, do not forget that discription is everything in a fic, you can rarely do too much. You did not describe the emotions very well, or the kiss in whole. It happened, and it was over. That was it.

    The rest of the chapter was fine, the battle could have been displayed better, but I suck at those so I have nothing to criticize. The length could be better, but After Hoenn's were shorter at the start, then built themselves up.

    Keep at it, you have potential. Remember that just because this is a yuri fic doesn't mean it's good. In fact, making a yuri fic that can appeal without sex is one of the hardest things you can do. And because of the rating, that's your job now. I will watch this with interest.
    Zepther is not a perfect city, filled with crime and evil. Through its dark alleys and narrows streets, a silent watcher protects the people, calling forth the darkness of metal to defend them. Cloaked in black, shrouded in the mysteries of his past, his cold heart is true as steel. His name is Chronos. He is the Dark Eye.
    The legacy begins...

  16. #16
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    Jul 2005
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    thanks for advice again, and chapter five basically revolves around May reflecting on the kiss anyway so for you power shot i'll try and make it full of emotion!
    ................and there goes the tumbleweed.

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