19th February 2006, 12:08 AM
Alright, first a confession. Until now I've been one of your 'phantom readers'... those gits that read fics and don't review. For that I apologise, but your fic is picking up pace somewhat, and I never reject a review request. :P
-Compassion. I prefer to read fics that actually highlight apathetic characters, but it's actually nice to see a character that shows compassion and honour. It's touching to see Lucki actually use one of her potions to heal the wild Pokemon that Silver had defeated.
-The fic is well-written. No notable spelling or grammar errors, so kudos there.
-Nice to see that she receives her Pokemon not from Professor *Insert Tree Species*, but from the Pokemon School in Rustboro (which makes more sense to me).
-Couldn't help but chuckle at the puddles remark. Silver's target practice made for some early eye-candy in RuSa then
-Excellent use of character, in Chapter One particularly.
-I think you need to use a little more description, with both characters/Pokemon and their surroundings. Your first chapter featured quite a lot, and i was impressed, but I feel this has waned over the next two installments. A bit more will make the environment easier to imagine and improve your fic greatly.
-Somewhat cliche'd. She starts with a Squirtle... okay, I can get over that. But her second Pokemon is a Flareon?! I'm intrigued to see whether this will make her a Mary-Sue or not.
Somewhat briefer than my normal reviews, but it's late and I didn't wanna drag on too much.
Take in your critiques, and build on them. Keep up the good work and I look forward on the next installment.