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Thread: The Battle for Friendship (PG)

  1. #1
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    Default The Battle for Friendship (PG)

    Well here's my first serious fic! Now, so I wouldn't confuse people, this will include a legend (more likely a prologue to most of you). I was going to include a diary entry, but I'll leave it out. Well hope you enjoy it!

    Rated PG for violence. Of course it may turn out to be PG-13 later on due to a bloody battle.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Legend:

    Thousands of years ago, humans and Pokemon alike were friends, neighbors, helpers, et cetra. Everyone was happy. The Pokemon came to play with the children and visited the human adults, man doing the same. Each one had a human/Pokemon companion. For this to happen, a special, hidden bond must form between them: friendship.

    However, this all started to end when a human harmed a fellow Pokemon. He was executed, but the creature he harmed died the very next day. The Pokemon were angry at the humans and separated from their human friends. Man tried to explain to them it was all an accident, but they wouldn't listen.

    For months, they tried everything to bring them back together again, but they would fail. Then one day, at the crack of dawn, the humans were ambushed. The Pokemon attacked several villages, destroying everything in their reach. The humans declared war and they banned every human from having a Pokemon pal. Half of the Pokemon that forgave the humans were exiled by their friends, and the humans refused to take them in. They became known as the Outsiders.

    Many years later, Pokemon Trainers came to be from children who had missed having the Pokemon around or heard about them from stories. So they captured them single-handedly and taught them many good manners. It spread through-out the land, thus forming the evil organizations. The Pokemon had lightened up, but they still did not forgive them as they still remember the evil man through the stories.

    Then hundreds of years went by and the war restarted itself again after years of hibernation. It became more active after the humans started setting traps for the Pokemon, killing off a few species. The creatures became angrier and again declared for the war to reset itself. To this very day, the war still rages. The only way for it to end rests with the only group who had become neutral and tried to teach the Pokemon and humans about love. It has been unsuccessful, but the Outsiders still have hope it will some day cease. However, it would eventually end in tragedy.



    Chapter One: The Message

    Mia sighed as she got out of bed. She went over to her window and perched outside. In case you're wondering, Mia isn't a human. No, humans have been banished away from the forest for many millennium due to a certain accident that was considered a crime. Mia was a Pokemon, a Mew. Her kind and several others have been cast away as Outsiders after the ambush. They lived in only one spot, away from human civilization and the other Pokemon.

    Mia's long, skinny tail swayed in the breeze and she shivered under all of her microscopic hair. Her cerulean eyes shone like the morning sky, her cat-like ears twitched as the wind kissed them. Mia wrapped her stubby arms around her knees as she kept her rabbit-like feet close to her chest to keep warm and to fit on the sill.

    Mia knew she would get in trouble from her mother, Bree, if she caught her sitting like that, but Mia didn't care. All she cared about was that she is a part of a huge war and she is an Outsider. Her only friends were Kitty and Tina along with Penny, a Pikachu, before she moved away.

    Mia sighed again. Even though she's been in the world for twelve years, she knew she'd be long gone before the war would end. She wished she could just help change the way the world was, but only the humans did. Every day, she'd hear their leader, a Hariyama named Tristan, tell the small military about the reports of the war. This upset her so much, she has been known to cry herself to sleep.

    Mia got off the windowsill and drifted to her desk. She pulled out her diary from a drawer and gazed sadly at it before throwing it against the wall where it crumpled into a heap. She had gotten it a few years ago from her mother to see if writing down her feelings would help, but it made it worse. Mia zipped out of her room, slamming the door.

    "Mia!" she heard her mother say. "Can you please stop doing that in the mornings?"

    Mia didn't answer. Pouting, she went into the kitchen and sat at the table and waited for her mother. Bree at once came in and sat next to her daughter. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked softly.

    Mia ignored her and gazed at a picture of another Mew that hung on the doorway. Bree followed her stare and sighed. "Does it have anything to do with your father?"

    Mia sighed. "No, it's not." Her father had gone over to both the humans and Pokemon to try and teach them about compassion, for several years. One day, though, he didn't return. She remembered Tristan telling her mother he was shot in the head and was killed instantly. Mia hadn't gotten over it since then.

    "It has something to do with the war, right?" Bree then said.

    "Mom, when will it end?" Mia asked. "When will peace be brought onto the world again?"

    "Oh Mia," her mother sighed, "you ask this every week and I keep saying that I don't know. Wars may last for many years, and this happens to be in that category."

    "May I be excused to go outside?"

    Bree gazed sadly at Mia and slowly nodded. Mia left through the open window and disappeared around the corner. She looked everywhere for any signs of someone coming, holding hopefully good news. In the past, Mia had no luck. But today she saw one of the fire-dogs rushing towards the building where Tristan dwelled. It was one of the Arcanine messangers. Excited and filled to the brim with hope, Mia flew toward's the leader's house.

    Shortly upon arrival, the fire-dog approached a sumo-wrestler-like creature. Mia silently darted into the Hariyama's bushes to eavesdrop. "What news have you brought?" Tristan asked the Arcanine.

    "It's actually a notice," he said. "It's from the humans. They want us to spy on..."

    "We won't accept it," Tristan interrupted.

    "There's more," the Arcanine continued. "They want us to keep an eye out for a lost girl in the forest. She's run away from home and they're worried."

    "Why'd she do that, the foolish girl?"

    "It's unknown, but a note's been found mentioning something about no 'small companions' in the area."

    "We'll keep an eye out," Tristan said, glancing around his surroundings, making Mia duck lower. "Is there a punishment?"

    "They'll be doing that," the messanger said.

    "What's she look like in case we mistaken the girl for a spy," Tristan inquired, hanging onto evey word.

    "She's a twelve-year-old red-head girl with light violet eyes and was last seen wearing a blue shirt, earrings, a skirt with red shorts, a lilac fanny-pack and magenta sandals," the Arcanine described.

    "As soon as we find her, we'll return the child," the Hariyma said.

    "They want her back within two weeks," the messanger resumed. "If not, then... they'll come in mobs and destroy everything until she's back home."

    "What's her name?"

    "They wouldn't tell me."

    Tristan scoffed. "Figures."

    "And she must be alive and unharmed. If she's been harmed or eaten in any way, then they'll attack."

    "Eat her? What do they think we are, man-eating machines?" Tristan exclaimed. Mia made a face.

    "Well, anyway, they want her back before dawn the start of the third week," the Arcanine concluded. "I'll be back by then for the girl." He then turned around and sped off. Tristan trudged back inside to spread the notice.

    Mia flew back home, disappointed and scared. They only have two weeks to find a young girl, or they're done for. She darted back into her window and picked up her diary. Opening to the previous entry, she produced a pen in thin air and wrote briefly:

    Sunday, August seventeenth

    Found out from an Arcanine messanger about a young girl missing. Will write more after I uncover more details.


    Mia closed it and sighed. "I hope that girl is found soon," she whispered to herself. She put away her diary and went downstairs for the day.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'll be posting chapters weekly seeing as I have large amounts of time on weekends. Opinions and reviews are greatly needed. Hope to see you soon! Expect chapter two next Saturday or Sunday. See you all later!

    ~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  2. #2
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    No, humans have been banished away from the forest for many millennium due to a certain accident that was considered a crime.
    I think you meant "millennia," the plural form of millennium.

    This is interesting, I've got to admit XD A family of Mew living in a house, living like humans. Strange, unheard of, and to some, a bit unorthodox, but to me, I like the idea. You usually don't see Pokémon living in houses; morely in the wild, and even stranger, you make it seem as though Mew are quite common. That's the only iffy part of this... I think it's hilarious that Mew keeps a diary XD Perhaps it isn't strange to give human qualities to Pokémon, but if you can't pull it off, it seems a bit bad. However, I've got to say that I love the dialogue between the Pokémon. Excellent, and seemingly realistic. Grammar and spelling is all right, but be sure to take time and describe the environment more with words that contour the texture, smell, look, temperature, and characteristics of Mia's surroundings.

  3. #3
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    Hay Kuie Pie

    this fic an't half bad (:

    i like it how there is a mew in it i hope mewtwo is in it somewhere.

    i want to see Ch 2 Kutie Pie

    Love Demy

  4. #4
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    This is quite good, Kutie Pie! *hugs* You are doing very well.

    It is a very interesting idea you have here, like Chesire said, with the Mews living in houses like humans. I'm fine with the idea, I haven't seen it before and it should turn out well. I am a little confused with the messengers. Don't the Pokemon hate the humans? You probably mean that the humans sent a messenger under a white flag across the battle field to deliver the letter, and the arcanine was sent from the army, bu tI was a little confused. And surely the pokemon army cannot be said as small! I was lead to believe from the games that pokemon vastly out number humans, other wise how would trainers catch more then one? And we can't forget how pychic pokemon can protect their troops from human weapons... Ah well. Never mind. Sorry for the little minaiture rant there. *ducks head*

    Anyways, I really did enjoy this! There are a few points that I need cleared up, but other than that, fine.

    Well done! *gives cookie*


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

  5. #5
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    Yay! Reviews! *hugs*

    The Cheshire Cat:
    Originally posted by The Cheshire Cat
    I think you meant "millennia", the plural form of millennium.
    *enters Homer* Oh! Whew! For a minute there I thought I was in trouble! Looks like I'll...DOH!

    *boots* What he said. Thanks for that mistake! I forgot about that! XPP I know, it feels strange Mew lives in a house and there's a lot of them, but I wasn't thinking so I did just that. And you think it's funny Mia keeps a diary? There's a reason for that. And I'll try to add more description in the next chapter. Thanks for replying! *hugs*

    Demy: DOH! I just send you a PM. Oh well. Glad you like this! And no, Mewtwo won't be in this. He doesn't, ahem, exist. Yet.     Spoiler:
    Glad you liked it. Thanks dear! *hugs*

    katiekitten: *still hugged* I rarely get hugs, due to my hyperlexia. But this is okay! YAY COOKIE! *eats* Now to the reply: Battlefield? Oh ho! There won't be one just yet! And no! Army's not small! Think about it, the Pokemon are split in half. The Outsiders have a very important part in this story. (All explained later.) As for the message (though you didn't say that) you'll find out who the girl is in the next chapter.     Spoiler:
    Thanks for the review and cookie! *hugs*

    Sorry folks, no treats today! My little brother ate them all. Just a big group hug! *group hugs* All right, see you this Saturday with chapter two, Found: Runaway. Thank you all! See you soon!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  6. #6
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    Hmm, interesting! Very cool idea... I like how there is a family of Mews. It's original and makes things much more fun to read, I think.

    Anyway, I think you did a great job so far, Kutie Pie! Keep it up, I'll be reading... I'm eager to know where you'll go with this story.

    "Does it have anything to do with your father?"

    Mia sighed. "No, it's not."
    I think that should be "No, it doesn't."

    She remembered Tristan telling her mother he was shot in the head and was killed instantly.
    AWW how sad! I hate Mew-killers XD

    Well yeah, this whole idea is very cool and so I just wanted to say that I hope you go through with this, because I see lots of potential in this! Yaay! *cookieee*

  7. #7
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    This is interesting; I like the ideas and creativity you've put in it. I'll be hoping to see more.

  8. #8
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    It’s an interesting idea, it’s an okay start with the plot, descriptions and suc but I spotted a number of errors, such as these and they were putting me off…

    It has been unsuccessful, but the Outsiders still [u]have hope it[/] will some day cease. However, it would eventually end in tragedy.
    1. Had
    2. Instead of ‘have hoped it’ try ‘hoped that it’.

    This upset her so much, she [u]has[u] been known to cry herself to sleep.
    Had

    It was one of the Arcanine messangers
    Messengers. This appeared more than once.

    hanging onto evey word.
    Every

    Like I said, it’s okay start and I hope you improve. If you got lots of time, take them to double check on your work for errors and possible improvements.

    Overall score: 3/5

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  9. #9
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    YAY! THREE NEW REVIEWS! *big hugs*

    blossom: Yes, I hate Mew-killers as well. And thanks for reviewing! *hugs* Dang! A mistake! Grammar mistake. I'll try not to next time. And thanks for saying you'll be reading this. See you later dear! *hugs*

    Lord_sNap: Hallo old reviewer! *hugs* (I put 'hallo' there on purpose. I love that made-up word.) And yep, I like the ideas and creativity too! You know, this is actually based on what happened when I was 12. Since we're in the war, I just can't help but think about it and the consequences. And the runaway mentioned in there, she's based on a friend of mine. (Doesn't look like her, though. Acts like her.) So it's based on real life. Thanks for reviewing! *hugs*

    Brian Powell: Hiya! *hugs* NNOOO! FIVE MISTAKES! Actually six. NO! *faints* I did look over it, but because of my mom, I had to rush through it. It'll get better. This Saturday should be better than last week's. Thanks for pointing out those mistakes and for reviewing! *hugs*

    All righty, I finally got some cookies for you all (including Demy, The Cheshire Cat and katiekitten). *hands cookies and group hugs* Deadline's Saturday! Sometime in the afternoon. See you all soon! Thanks for replying!

    ~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  10. #10
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    Hope to read the next chaper on Sat afternoon

    Demy

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    This isn't an update, just a news flash.

    Tomorrow, I'm going to the Renaissance with a friend for possibly almost the whole day. Because of that, I may not do the next chapter until Sunday, Monday at the latest. Well, not Monday, the next Saturday.

    Well, hope to see you then!

    ~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  12. #12
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    Default Huzzah! New Update!

    I would've posted yesterday morning when I had time, but my brother was like "Get off the computer!" all the hour I had. So as I promised, here's the next chapter with a new main character! Huzzah!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter 2: Found: Runaway


    "Aren't you going to move?"

    "I don't feel like it."

    "Oh my gosh, Mia, can you just stop thinking about the war for once?"

    "The only thing I can think of is how we're doomed."

    Mia and her two friends, Kitty and Tina, was in her room, playing chess. Though they were only playing for fifteen minutes, Mia has made only one move.

    "What else is on your mind except for the reason we're all doomed and that the war will never end?" Kitty asked, batting at her tail in boredom, glancing at Mia with her slits for eyes.

    "I overheard our leader and a messenger saying there's a lost runaway in the forest somewhere and if she's not returned within two weeks, then we die," was Mia's answer, sadly gazing out the window.

    Tina groaned, rolling her scarlet eyes and rubbing her two rose-colored horns and green hair. "That's all you've been thinking about: How're going to die," she said. "So, what's going to happen? Are we going to be nuked? Is a famine coming? Is drowning involved? What?"

    "The humans will go on a murderous rampage through the village and destroy everything in their paths," Mia said quietly.

    "How? By stomping on us?" was the Skitty's guess.

    "Hand-held weapons that kill on contact."

    Kitty and Tina looked at each other in disbelief. "All this over a runaway? That doesn't sound right," Tina said, raising her eyebrow.

    "But it's true!" Mia exclaimed, facing them. "We're all doomed!"

    "Uh, I think my mom's calling me. See you soon!" Tina lied quickly, dragging Kitty out the door before Mia could utter another word. After a few moments of waiting, she peeked outside her window to see the two walking normally away from the house as if they was taking a walk instead of being at a friend's house.

    "I think Mia's lost her marbles," Kitty said, unaware they were being overheard.

    "Yeah. I mean, a murderous rampage all because of a humna runaway? Puh-lease," Tina scoffed. "She's been reading too many war books." Then they laughed as they turned the corner, waving to a couple of passer-by.

    Mia started crying and flung herself onto her bed, sobbing uncontrollably. For years, ever since she's been interested in the war, her friends started doubting their friendships. At school, Mia would always read to herself alone in the middle of the classroom while her classmates broke the rules. On the playground, she would play by herself and eat alone, avoiding the others. Ridiculed one too many times by the kids, from Kindergarten to the sixth, she's become an outsider to the Outsiders.

    During those years, she's cried to herself whenever she found peace or when she was near people who ignored her daily. During recess, nearly every day, she'd run into the bathrooms and bawl. In the classrooms, she'd weep silently while on the bus she's been known to wail loud enough for the occupants on the bus to notice her, but once more she's been ignored. And no one questioned her nor Bree.

    At one point, she did calm down when a group of some of the most popular girls came to her and said they would be her friends as they claimed. But two days afterwards, they were ignoring and gossiping about her once more. For a good three weeks, Mia's been in the bathroom constantly. At night, she'd alway cry herself because of her trials of a tease to the loss of a friend. All of this because of what she was: A depressed outsider to the Outsiders.

    For an hour, she bawled into her pillow to let it all out when she heard a small sound outside from the forest. She picked her head up off the pillow, her face tear-stained and went over to the window. Barely audible was a soft cry she's never heard before, though it sounded familiar. Curious about the noise, she darted out the window, leaving the barely-touched game of chess on the floor. For a few minutes, she flew over the treetops until she was over the source. She shot into the foilage and hid quickly in a bush, peeking through a small opening. Then she gave a short, frightened gasp.

    Sitting on a lone stump was a human girl with shoulder-length red hair, wearing a tear-stained sky blue shirt. Underneath her cream shirt were red shorts to keep it modest. Around her waist was a lilac fannypack and she had on magenta sandals. She was crying harder than Mia had ever done and she sensed her pain. Gingerly she floated to the girl. Sensing a presense near her, the girl glanced up at Mia with her amethyst eyes filled to the brim with tears.

    "A Mew," she whispered to herself. "An Outsider. Where'd you come from?"

    "I came from the village near here," Mia answered.

    "Village?" The girl looked around her surroundings and back. "Oh dear. I've wander too far."

    "Hey, how come you can understand me?" Mia inquired. "Most of the humans that came here could barely understand our language."

    "I took Pokespeech for a few years."

    "My name's Mia by the way. What's yours?"

    "Daisy Vanner," was the girl's reply. "I ran away from home because I was tired of the lack of Pokemon near our homes."

    "Yeah, it's really lonely," Mia said, hanging her head. "I haven't even heard from a friend who lives with the other Pokemon. I doubt she even remembers me after six years. Besides, no one here knows me by name anyway. They refer to me as 'Nobody'. 'Hey, Nobody, get the ball!' 'Nobody, what'd you bring, a sock puppet?' 'Oi, Nobody! Back of the line!'"

    "I've been known as 'Nobody' as well," Daisy said. "'Hey, Nobody, what's that in your hair?' 'Nobody, your hair's on fire!' 'Your nose is hideous, Nobody. You need plastic surgery.'" She glanced down at a lone blood-red flower that grew near the stump. "I'm an outsider as well. I have no friends at all."

    "Same here." Mia and Daisy just stared at the ground in sadness, thinking about their misfortunes.

    "Hey, how come you ran away?" Mia asked a few minutes later.

    Daisy sighed. "Well, there are a few reasons. The first one is because I don't have any friends. Second, there's no Pokemon around. And third is because my parents are divorced."

    "My father's been dead for as long as I can remember," Mia said sadly, sitting down next to the girl.

    "How'd he die?"

    "He was shot."

    Daisy gasped in horror. "That's awful!"

    "I know. I received a diary from my mother because of that." Mia felt her eyes well up again and swiftly blinked them away.

    Daisy looked up at the sky. "I've been give a tape recorder so I can record my feelings that day and give it to my dad every month for him to listen."

    They were silent for a few more minutes until Mia spoke up. "So, do you want to go back?"

    "No. I hate my life," Daisy said, a growl barely audible. "Besides, if I went back, then everyone would make fun of me even more, my father would yell at me and the kids would push me around even harder." She then lost it and started to bawl, startling Mia.

    "Please don't," she begged. "They'll hear you."

    But Daisy didn't listen. She kept on wailing and sobbing. That was when a rustling was heard near-by and some voices. Panicking, Mia used the little of her devleoped powers to Teleport herself and Daisy to her room in a blink of an eye. In exhaustion, Mia flopped onto her bed and Daisy gasped as she looked around. "H-How'd I get here?"

    "I Teleported us out of the forest," Mia said, holding her head. "There was something coming towards us."

    "I bet it was my father," Daisy muttered, getting ready to cry again.

    "No, they're not allowed here without our leader's permission," Mia said, peeking outside while she held onto the windowsill to keep from falling onto the ground due to dizziness. "And neither should you. The forest's dangerous, especially at night. You could get killed out there."

    "I don't care!" Daisy cried out. "I'd rather die out here than at that godforsaken place!"

    Mia sadly turned to face Daisy and back to the forest. "Then you have your wish then," she murmured.

    "Huh? What do you mean?"

    "If you're not back at your place by the end of the second week then we all die."

    Daisy was silent as she thought it over. Mia looked back at her and she the same. For once in their lives, they had a strong connection that may soon fall apart in two weeks: friendship. But they each had a Hobson's choice: For both of them, it was to lose a friend. For Mia it was to keep the human and die in the mob. As for Daisy, it was to lose her friend and possibly die if she was to stay. None of them knew how to answer this. To them, this was only the beginning.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And that's chapter two! As my punishment for keeping you all waiting an extra day, I decided to...Give myself paper cuts! *cuts* Well, actually...EAT BURNT FOOD! Or just whatever you want. I hope to see you all again and be on the look-out for chapter three this Saturday. (For real. NO JOKE I PROMISE YOU THAT!)

    And if you're going to protest against Tina's "Puh-lease" thing, that's how she speaks in that part. And for those who don't know what a Hobson's choice is: It's a multiple choice that has unpleasant choices no one likes. Like...Cleaning your room or changing the baby's diaper. (CLEANING ROOM FOR ME!) So they're very unpleasant.

    Well, see you all later!

    ~~~~~~~~~
    *Kutie Pie* Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  13. #13
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    I like it; I'm looking forward to reading it Saturday.

    There was one error I spotted, IMO.
    "That's all you've been thinking about: How're going to die," she said.
    I think there should be a word betwee How're and going...

  14. #14
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    AAAAAH....im sorry...i havent been on SEREBII for ages!! BUT I LOVE YOUR STORY and the idea...its just awesome!! keep up the amazing work!! (huggles...and please forgive me)

  15. #15
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    Hey Kutie Pie read your fic love it xxxx
    Next chapter is coming up when

    Demy

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    Very nice, Kutie Pie! I really liked this chappy. *gives cookie*

    I get it now, thanks for clearing out those bits for me.

    Anyways, onto the review...

    A few mistakes, their was one typo with 'human' and a little word that got mixed up, so I'll put those below...

    was in her room,
    Were, I think.

    Well, I really liekd this! Daisy seems nice, and poor Mia... She seems quite emotional, doesn't she? *passes tissue* Improvement on description problems from your one shot, *has reviewing brain properly screwed on* and it was well written.

    Keep up the good work!


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

  17. #17
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    Hallo reviewers! *hugs* I would've reviewed sooner but because I was evil (lighting and evil laughs in background), I had to wait for a few more people.

    Lord_sNap: Hallo! *hugs* Aw fiddlesticks! (My profanity. Get used to it.) A mistake. Dang! I was reading carefully and I thought the 'How're' was also a 'we'. ^_^; Heh heh. Guess this happens to J.K. Rowling sometimes and many other great authors. IMO? What's that? (Still needs to learn Serebii language.) And glad you like it! *hugs*

    Kaiviti: SSQQUUUUEEEE! WELCOME! *hugs* And it's okay. Reply at anytime you like. I don't mind! And thanks for saying you love the story! And though the idea may seem cute, this is based on life. Depressing life in a few parts. (If you read this on other replies from me, you'd see it was based on what happened to me, though I dramatized it a bit. Some didn't happen, but they won't come for quite some time.) Well, thanks for replying! *hugs*

    Demy: Boy, short reply. *hugs* If you remembered at the end of chapter two, I'd post it on Saturday. And at the end of chapter one I said I'll post weekly only on weekends. And I WILL post it on Saturday, not Sunday. Especially since I went to the Renaissance (Whoo! It wasn't raining!) with a friend for her birthday party. (Hee hee hee. The Ded Bob Sho! And that's how it's spelled. Ded and sho.) Thanks for saying you love it as well! See you soon! *hugs*

    katiekitten: *eats cookie and goes on sugar rush* WWWHHOOOO! I SEE TEH EASTER BUNNIE! *shakes off rush* Sorry. I went on one last night after seeing a movie at the temple (WAH! SO SAD! POOR JOSEPH AND HIRAM!) and had Skittles and I was blabbing non-stop due to sugar. But I didn't get a sugar rush on the movie. I had an emotional rush. So give me a cookie next time and I'll be SUGARFIED! WHOO! Thankies though! And dang it! Another mistake. At least it was just two. And yes, Daisy is nice.     Spoiler:
    And yes, Mia is very emotional.     Spoiler:
    Well, since you enjoyed this eville (lighting and evil laugh in background) review, thanks for the review! *hugs*

    *passes cake and big group hugs* Thanks for reviewing fans! And because I gave you huge pieces of cake, you'll get sugar rush. (cackling and Psycho theme plays) Expect the next chapter (when I can get it on paper. I need a lap-top) this Saturday. No joke. And it'll be after 10:00 after Pokemon. (FWWEEEEE!) And hopefully my brothers won't bug me. Well see you this Saturday! *eats candy she found on counter and goes to sugar rush* WWHHOOOO! SANTIE! AND TEH WITTLE GREEN MEN!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets! (Including the sugar-rushed ones.)
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  18. #18
    Kani Tarma Guest

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    I like this story..although I'm not a giant fan of the name Daisy, that's your choice. I think that fact that they both don't have any tru freinds, with Mia her 'freinds' seem like they are only aquantinces, and not actual freinds per say...keep going!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kani Tarma
    I like this story..although I'm not a giant fan of the name Daisy, that's your choice. I think that fact that they both don't have any tru freinds, with Mia her 'freinds' seem like they are only aquantinces, and not actual freinds per say...keep going!
    Ooh...I think you're about to reveal something right there with Mia's friends. Right there.

    And yeah, Daisy was just a random name. I tried to think up of something pretty and I thought that one was. I was going to actually change her name to Faith or Hope. But I forgot. And Mia's name...It was originally Myra, but I, er, have a companion named Myra.

    - Who's been missing for a WEEK!

    *whacks* Ignore Cheeky, my Poke-companion. *glares* He's rude.

    - Expect me every chapter to criticize.

    *whacks* Go away. Anyway, nice having you here Kani Tarma. Thanks for replying! *hugs and gives cake* Sugar rush time. MUAH-HA HA HA! Expect chapter three this Saturday! Unless, of course, I have to be busy taking care of my sick family. (I've been spared it looks like.) Well, anyway, chapter three WILL be posted. I just don't know when.

    - Next year. *chased* AAARRRGHHHH!

    ~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets! (Including the one above.)
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  20. #20
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    Exclamation Warning: Chapter time!

    Well, looks like I'm sick. But because I'm up (since six), looks like I'll post chapter three before I start puking again. (And this is an update.) So hope you enjoy chapter three!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter Three: The Nobody


    "Now, how am I supposed to keep you hidden from my mother without anyone knowing about this?" Mia asked herself, pacing her room.

    Daisy shrugged as she took out an orange headband with blue diamond-shapes on it from her fanny-pack. "I'm too big to fit under your bed and in your closet."

    "Can't make you invisible," Mia continued. "You would reappear after a while."

    "How about the forest?" the red-head suggested.

    "That's a good chioce, but we have to make sure you're not seen."

    "Are they constantly checking the forest?"

    "All except for this cave..."

    "A cave?"

    "Yes, it's been deserted for a long time," Mia said. "I believe it'll be safe there, seeing as it's been kept secret from everyone."

    "Where is it?" Daisy asked.

    "Well, if you insist," Mia said, sighing. "But remember, it's a secret. I can't have anyone else know about this."

    "How come?"

    "Later. For now, let's just head on over there." Mia's eyes glowed periwinkle and Daisy was levitated up into the air.

    "Eek! Hey, this is fun!" she squealed, doing a few flips and laughing.

    "Come on, the sooner we get there, the more time you have at making yourself at home." The rosy kitten wished to herself that she shouldn't have done that, but it was safer to use than using Teleport. "And please be quiet," she added. "There are some people here with extraordinary hearing and my Mom's one of them."

    Daisy nodded and they flew out of the open window. The red-head looked down and saw the entire village for the first time. Houses had a cottage-image to them while a few were like large hut mansions that could house several families if it wasn't a business building. Mia's house was one of the several two-story cottage-houses that was scattered around the neighborhood they were over. Like what the citizens of her home-town did, there were Pokemon walking around, many children. They played in the streets, on the sidewalks, playgrounds, and running to and from their houses. Daisy saw below a mischievous group of teenagers being scolded by several policemen. In front of them was the forest they were heading to. "So, is the cave far?" she asked Mia.

    "Not far," Mia replied, smiling. "I used to hide in the cave just about every day."

    "Where is it, though?"

    "Underneath a large apple tree, so you need to be extremely careful while you're there. People tend to hang around it. Ah! Here we are!" Mia suddenly exclaimed, darting down into the foilage.

    Daisy followed her and saw why people loved hanging around the tree. It was huge and shady, complete with bright, red apples that gleamed in the sun, nearly blinding Daisy as she fell onto her back trying to take in the beauty of the tree. There were still dark green leaves flourishing, even though orange leaves dotted the area, signaling fall.

    "I don't mean to interrupt your day-dreaming, but we need to get in before someone comes," Mia said, peeking into a hole underneath the tree. "Sorry if there're some objects in here. They were my Dad's."

    "It's sure roomy in here," Daisy said, poking her head into the hole.

    "It's been known to echo, so we need to whisper every now and then," Mia added, going into a corner. Daisy climbed in and settled herself into another corner and admired the many objects littering the little room. Many were figurines, dusty from age though some of their shine still leaked through. Other items included a watch, rings and diplomas. Only one of these caught Daisy's eye. A polished medal glittered in the few rays that poked in. Etched in the gold were the words: "Awarded to Parry for Respect".

    "What's that?" the girl asked Mia, pointing at it.

    "That was my Dad's," Mia replied softly. "He was known for his respect towards others. He got this from school after it was attacked."

    "What happened?"

    Mia took a deep breath and continued. "When he was ten, humans invaded the school. Everyone was angry, hollering, confused or frightened. Many of the older students and teachers tried to fight them off while others ran. My father was one of the bravest students, so he stayed. But he had no clue what was happening. Out in the halls, he heard some classmates cussing at the humans, who supposedly took Pokespeech, and they were injured by some hand-held weapons. They went into the room my Dad was in and started yelling and fighting.

    "My Dad did nothing except protesting to his classmates not to harm the humans. No one took him seriously and he was chased off by the humans. So he was forced to help evacuate the school. Once outside, Dad again started protesting about violence when he saw a little human boy getting injured by the older students. My father helped rescue him, but because the boy was still in shock, he ran off with the other men.

    "The principal heard about his actions and at the end of the year awarded this to him. For the rest of his school years, he was the most talked about by the students. This was how he met my mother, but that's another story. Well, my Dad's been respectful towards everything and after I came along, he was asked to help become one of those... Mmm, preachers I guess you could say. Or a different type of messenger, I don't know. Well, one day, when I was just starting Kindergarten, he left with several other people. But none of them came back. They were all... killed by... by..." And Mia's throat clogged up and she couldn't finish.

    "I'm sorry," Daisy whispered, patting the cat's hand.

    "Well, since I said my part in the war, what's yours?" Mia asked.

    Daisy looked startled when she was asked the question. "Y-You s-s-sure?" she stammered.

    "Yes. I told my part, so what's yours?"

    Daisy sighed sadly. "To start it off... I lied about being called a 'Nobody'," she said. "I'm actually a Nobody. No one seems to notice me."

    "But, why'd you lie?"

    "To be more similar to you," was the answer. "And about my parents being divorced... They love each other too much to part. It broke my Dad's heart when my mother died."

    "How'd she die?" Mia inquired.

    "She just did," Daisy said. "No one knows how it happened. One minute she was happy and laughing, the next she was lifeless on the ground. When a doctor checked her in an autopsy, he said it was from a natural cause, like some failure. But she was healthy. She's never had any problems with her internal organs and she didn't drink or take any drugs. She was just fine.

    "I was only five at the time. She went to a party with Dad and he came back home really late, crying. I asked what happened and he told me Mom had passed on. I didn't know what he meant, but a couple of days later, Dad dressed me in black, took me to a graveyard, and we stood in a line. When it was my turn, I tried to see if my Mom was asleep, but she never did wake up. Then I found out my mother was gone forever, dead.

    "After that, Dad started to teach me how to do housework and others. Even though it was awful to have only one parent, it was even worse hanging around people who didn't care my mother was dead. I told them and they did nothing except laugh at me. All they wanted to talk about was how she died, not what really happened. That was when they all stayed away from me."

    "What made that happen?" Mia asked, hanging onto Daisy's story.

    Daisy started to sob. "I-I be-beat them u-up," she answered in a choking voice. "They made me s-so ang-angry, I just sn-snapped. After that, they a-all made f-fun of me and s-stayed far a-away from me. I've b-been lonely e-ever since..." Then the red-head cracked and started bawling.

    Mia just sat there, pondering about Daisy's life. She glanced sadly at her and left the cave briefly. "I start school tomorrow, so I might not be able to come until late," she said to the girl behind her.

    But only weeping was heard. Mia didn't look behind her and slowly started for home, the weight of sorrow on her shoulders.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Before you question the name "Parry", I heard it after one episode of Cyberchase. (I don't watch it anymore, so forget about it.) Anyway, guess you're angry at me for making Daisy lie. But trust me, it's part of the plot. Well, time to go write chapter four on paper. (Must. Get. Laptop.) See you next Saturday! (No joke.) Curse this intestinal flu...

    ~~~~~~~~~
    ♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  21. #21
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    I use to watch Cyberchase as well i don't anymore. sore i know who ou are talking about.

    This plot is getting interesting Kutie Pie

  22. #22
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    Heh, forgot to post here yesterday... I was asked to leave when I was about to. >_<

    And I didn't know there was a show called Cyberchase. But w/e...

    I liked the chapter. It makes the plot more interesting, imo.

  23. #23
    blossom Guest

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    I really like this... it's very interesting. Poor Mia and Daisy... =(

    For a good three weeks, Mia's been in the bathroom constantly.
    You changed tenses...


    But yeah, you're doing great, Kutie Pie! Can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the good work.

  24. #24
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    YAY! REVIEWS! *hugs*

    Demy: Heh heh. Yeah, I gave up on the show after they kept showing repeats. It was cool while I liked it. *hugs* Anyway, glad you like it so far. And yes, the plot it getting more interesting. It gets better in the next chapter. Thanks for replying! *hugs*

    Lord_sNap: Oh well. Post any time you want dear. *hugs* (I still wonder what IMO is. I'm very clueless here.) And like I said to Demy, yep, plot getting interesting. Very interesting... Thanks dear! *hugs*

    blossom: Hiya! Thanks for coming! *hugs* Yeah, you may feel sorry for the two, but you might hate one of them for, uh,     Spoiler:
    DOH! One mistake so far! I changed tenses... DARN! >< And yep, no one can resist waiting! Actually that's the other way around.

    - I'm here for a review.

    Hurry up then.

    - Ahem... DAISY'S A BIG FAT LIAR! AND SHE'LL CONTINUE ON FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER- UURRKK!

    *strangling* That's not a review! That's criticize! Now get!

    - I said I'd criticize the chapter. MEWS STINK AND SO DO EGYPTIANS!

    *whacks* I wish Myra was here... Anyway, hope to see you all this Saturday with the next chapter! *hands cake and ice cream and group hugs*

    ~~~~~~~~~~
    *Kutie Pie* Please be kind to midgets! (< Argh! No hearts!)
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Last Chance - 11/3/11 - Chapter 20 progress: 75%
    I survived Pupa.

  25. #25
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    Sorry for the wait...

    That was a great chappie! *hugs* Having her lie was ok, it tells us more about her personality. I am a bit confused as to why she would lie abut that, but that will probably comelater. Possibly she didn't want the pity that would come with it, or something like that. *shrugs and smiles*

    I still really enjoyed it! *gives another hug* I can't wait for the next chapter, to see what will happen... *sits on pouffle*

    Get well soon!


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

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